The Lonely Reality of Building a Business

I work with founders who constantly make difficult decisions about their people, businesses, and, sometimes, their own futures.

Even if they have a solid leadership team, co-founders, or some friendly investors on the cap table, most founders take on the heaviness of these decisions alone, carrying the weight so their teams don't have to.

As a business owner, I face my own struggles with heaviness. The pressure of keeping things moving, making the right calls, and figuring out what's next, all while being the one others turn to for guidance, is a strange place to be—helping others navigate their own isolation while confronting my own.

What I've learned? Loneliness in entrepreneurship is inevitable. So make an effort to build the proper support around you to prepare when the particularly cloudy days hit.

Competition can be healthy—and a lifeline

Being a CEO is lonely. It’s important to have relationships with other CEOs you can call when everything is melting down (one of the important accidental discoveries of YC was a way for founders to have peers.) - Sam Altman via Startup Playbook

It's easy to view competition as something to beat, but in reality, competition can be a source of support.

If we're honest with each other, we can help each other weather tough times—because, let's face it, no one understands the challenges quite like someone else in the same field.

Take the last two years in recruitment, for example. It's been brutal. The market has shifted, hiring has slowed, and businesses have had to adapt fast. But the best conversations I've had weren't about winning against competitors—they were about surviving together. They involved sharing insights, swapping lessons learned, and just admitting, "Hey, this is tough for us too."

Healthy competition doesn't mean going at it alone. If anything, it's a reminder that we're all in the same storm, even if we're in different boats.

The danger of mentally checking out

Founders and entrepreneurs often get caught up in their own heads. We're constantly problem-solving, strategising, and planning for the future. The downside? Sometimes we withdraw without realising it—physically present but mentally a million miles away.

It's easy to get stuck in "fix-it" mode, but we start missing what's happening right now when that becomes the default. Whether it's with our team, our family, or even our own well-being, being absent—mentally or emotionally—can quietly erode our relationships and resilience.

Anyone who has joined me for an afternoon drink along RobQuay has probably heard the line, "Sorry, I just have to send this quick message. "My kids regularly play "working," which is a scary reminder of how often they see my husband or me on our phones or laptops at home.

I've had to remind myself (and still do) to consciously be present. To listen in conversations, step away from the endless internal to-do list, put my phone down, be present for dinner time, and give my attention to the people and moments that matter.

Build your own ecosystem

No founder should do it alone. Surrounding yourself with people who "get it" makes all the difference. Your ecosystem doesn't have to be huge—it just needs to be the right mix of people who challenge, support, and help you stay grounded.

These are the people who:

✅ Understand the rollercoaster of wins and losses.

✅ Can help you find solutions when you're stuck.

✅ Won't judge when you admit you have no idea what you're doing some days.

Here are a few key players who make up my ecosystem:

Founders & business owners – People who understand the weight of decision-making and the ups and downs of running a business. They offer perspective, reassurance, and, sometimes, just a space to vent. I am fortunate that my role at Cultivate is to support Founders, so I have some brilliant people who give me advice and support without even realising they do!

Mentors & advisors – Those who've been through it before and can provide strategic guidance, challenge your thinking, and help you avoid costly mistakes—the people who have been-there-done-that. Use your time wisely with these people, and don't underestimate learning from others' mistakes.

Your inner circle (friends and family who get it)—Not everyone in your personal life will fully "get it," but having a few close people who listen and remind you to be human is invaluable.

Industry peers and even competitors navigate the same challenges in real-time. Being open with them can lead to shared insights, collaborations, and camaraderie instead of isolation.

A strong ecosystem doesn't just help your business—it enables you to stay sane. Find your people, build those relationships, and don't try to do this alone.

The weight of decision-making will always be there, but so will the people who understand it. Seek out those who challenge, support, and remind you that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Because the best businesses aren’t just built on strategy—they’re built on people and strong relationships.