Lost, Overwhelmed, Uncertain? Why Stopping Might Be the Best First Step

Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under us when we least expect it. A phone call, an email, a conversation you never saw coming—suddenly, everything you knew about your life is thrown into disarray. A friend of mine was recently made redundant. One moment, they were deep in their work, contributing, solving problems, planning for the future. The next, they were packing up their things, leaving a job that had felt like part of their identity. Just like that, the world shifted.

A crisis can present in many different forms: the loss of a loved one, the collapse of a marriage, financial disaster, or the sudden end of a career. No matter its form, a crisis often comes with an emotional storm—thoughts and feelings whipping through the mind and body, unpredictable and relentless. The instinct is to react, to scramble for control, to do something—anything—to stop the free all. But sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is… stop.

S.T.O.P.

I’ve come to believe in the power of pausing before reacting. And in those moments of upheaval, I’ve found a simple framework to be a lifeline: S.T.O.P.

Slow your breathing

When the storm hits, start by anchoring yourself in the present. Breathe. Take deep, intentional breaths. Feel the air flowing in and out. It won’t fix the crisis, but it will slow the internal chaos just enough to create space between you and the moment.

Take note

What are you experiencing right now? What thoughts are rushing in? What emotions are gripping you? What physical sensations are arising? Notice how your thoughts and feelings pull you in different directions, tempting you to panic, to shut down, or to react impulsively. Simply noticing these patterns gives you a moment of clarity—a moment to choose how you respond.

Open up

Emotions in a crisis can feel overwhelming, like a tidal wave threatening to consume you. But what if, instead of fighting them, you opened up to them? Let them exist without judgement. Breathe into them. Make room for the sadness, the fear, the anger. See your thoughts for what they are—passing clouds in the sky of your mind, not unshakeable truths. By making space for them, you loosen their grip on you.

Pursue your values

Once the immediate storm settles, even slightly, ask yourself: What do I want to stand for in this moment? How do I want to look back on this time years from now? A crisis has the power to reshape us—but we get to decide how. Maybe it’s the chance to redefine what truly matters. Maybe it’s an opportunity to grow in a new direction. Maybe it’s simply a time to rest before finding the next step forward.

Stopping Is Not Stagnation

Stopping doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean surrendering to despair. It means creating the space to respond rather than react. To regain agency when it feels like the world has taken it from you.

For my friend who lost their job, the first instinct was panic—sending out resumes in a frenzy, questioning their worth, fearing the unknown. But after taking a moment to stop, to breathe, to sit with the emotions, they began to see the situation differently. This wasn’t just an ending. It was also an opening. And in that opening, they found possibility.

So if you find yourself in crisis—whether it’s the loss of a job, a relationship, or something even deeper—remember: you don’t have to solve everything at once. You don’t have to have the answers right now. Just stop. Breathe. Notice. Open up. And when you’re ready, move forward in a way that aligns with who you truly want to be.

What advice would you give to someone flung into a change in circumstances? Please share your thoughts help to build my toolkit for future situations.