The People Who Challenge Us

Last night during the Kansas City Chiefs & New York Giants football game, Travis Kelce got into an argument with his head coach, Andy Reid. There was even a light physical interaction as Coach Reid bumped into Kelce, which felt like it was on purpose, as if he was proving a point.

Now, most people would see this interaction and get concerned.

"Taylor Swift's fiancé and his coach just got into an argument, oh my," some people might say.

Not me, I laughed.

Because when people are in the race, the right, the battle, the game, all together, this type of stuff is bound to happen.

Think about some of your closest relationships. Have they always been smooth sailing? No chance is you've had some arguments over the years with some of the closest people in your inner circle, and while to others it may have looked odd, to you, it was just part of the fact that you're in it together.

The best relationships in your career and your personal life are those that can challenge you, be honest with you, and oftentimes say the thing that nobody else is willing to say. It can hurt at times, it can be frustrating as well, but these are the people who care the most about you.

Andy Reid and Travis Kelce have been together with the Chiefs organization for twelve years now. They have won three Super Bowls together and lost a fourth one. To say they've been through it all is an understatement. So to see the two of them get into an argument just says to me they are both frustrated in the moment, and passionate about getting things fixed when they were struggling at a certain point in the game.

It meant nothing other than they are competitors who want to win, and the byproduct is two people who may scream and yell at one another every once in a while.

So the question is, who is that person in your life that tells you the things you don't want to hear and challenges you beyond your comfort zone?

If you do not have someone like that, you are missing one of the most valuable relationships you could ever have. It is easy to surround yourself with people who nod, agree, and tell you what you want to hear. It feels good in the short term, but it does nothing for your growth. The people who push you, the ones who call you out when you are slipping, those are the ones who make you better.

Think about the times in your career when you really leveled up. Chances are it was not because someone told you “great job, keep it up.” It was probably because a boss, a mentor, or a teammate told you the hard truth you did not want to hear. It stung in the moment, but it sharpened you. It forced you to rise to a higher standard.

That is exactly what you saw with Kelce and Reid. Two men who have been through wars together, who respect each other enough to go at it in the heat of the moment, knowing full well that ten minutes later they will be on the same page again. That is not dysfunction, that is trust. You cannot yell at someone like that unless you know the relationship is strong enough to hold the weight of it.

In your career, if you are only hearing praise, you should be concerned. That likely means you are not being challenged, and worse, that people do not care enough to give you the truth. Growth lives in discomfort. Improvement comes from the conversations that make you squirm.

So if you have someone in your corner who is willing to get loud, who is willing to bump into you metaphorically and say “wake up, you are better than this,” count yourself lucky. That is love. That is leadership. That is someone who wants to see you win even if it means they have to get under your skin for a moment.

The next time you catch yourself frustrated by criticism or by someone pushing you harder than you want, pause and consider what it really means. Chances are it means they see more in you than you are showing. Chances are it means they believe you are capable of something bigger, and they are not willing to let you coast.

by Scott Bond

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