Redefining Success and My Non-Negotiables

Let’s rewind to 2020.

You remember when time seemed to warp, and the days were a blur of snack schedules, Zoom fatigue, and makeshift obstacle courses in the living room. I was doing what so many of us did: trying to hold it all together. My career was steady. Nothing “wrong” on paper.

But here’s the thing about alignment: it’s not always loud.

Sometimes, it hums under the surface like a quiet ache. And mine kept whispering: “This version of success doesn’t feel like mine anymore.”

It wasn’t a breakdown moment. It wasn’t dramatic. It was slow. Subtle. Honest.

We were still deep in the chaos of pandemic life, with chalk drawings on the driveway, the above-ground pool in the backyard (a lifesaver, honestly), and a house that doubled as school, office, playground, and stress ball. There was no margin, but somehow… there was clarity.

And in that strange stillness, a thought rose up I couldn’t un-think: “What if I built something of my own?”

Not to prove anything. Not for a fancy title. But so I could actually live the version of success and life I kept envisioning. So I could stop making life fit around work and instead make work fit around life, or even blend the two.

It felt audacious. Irresponsible, even. Why now? Why leap when so many were holding on tight? But sometimes, the most courageous decisions are the ones that seem the most reckless to others.

My husband—supportive as ever—gave me the “are you serious?” look and said what I needed most: “Go for it.” (I’m sure he thought I was a little nuts. Fair.)

So, I checked in with my trusted people. The ones who know how I work, what I value, and how I move through the world. All but one said “yes.” That one changed their mind shortly after.

And just like that, I did it. I was strategically spontaneous for the first time in my life.

I gave notice, took a chance, and launched Intentional Talent Solutions. Now, to be clear, I have always been entrepreneurial. I have always had side hustles that were usually aligned with my passions. This was how I got through and felt like me. But this was different. It wasn't a side hustle; it was the hustle.

I’ll never forget one leader’s response when I told them: “Can you afford to do that?”

Not a bad question. But not the reason. However, it is a common reason why many people are too scared to try new things or seize opportunities. We all need money—of course we do. It’s a practical necessity. But it can’t be the only driver of how you live. Money supports your life, but it shouldn’t be the sole thing that defines it.

But I wasn’t leaving for money; I was going for alignment.

Because here’s the truth most of us ignore for too long: No paycheck is worth being out of sync with your own life. No title makes up for constantly squeezing your values to the margins. You shouldn't need a side hustle to feel alive.

I needed to stop overperforming in someone else’s system and start building one that matched me.

Was it scary? Yes. Was it uncertain? Absolutely. Was it worth it? One hundred percent.

Now this is not me saying quit your job, build a company, run.... for many they are in careers that give them all of the things I needed. This is just me saying, do what makes you happy, find a way.....that you will never regret.

And here’s what I realized quickly: When you finally create space in your life, you have to decide what belongs in it.

That’s where non-negotiables come in. Not as a Pinterest graphic. But as actual anchors.

Every company I have ever worked for has values they operate by; why don’t we? Our lives deserve the same clarity and respect. It's time we start living by our own values, not just those of our employers.

So I got clear.

My non-negotiables became:

• Being fully present at bedtime. If I’m home, I’m home. Period.
• Intentional time with my husband that’s not logistics and to-do lists.
• Creative space—even if the output doesn’t pay a bill.
• Emotional availability. If I can’t show up as a human, I’m stretched too thin.

These aren’t glamorous. But they are mine.

And they hold me in place when the world wants to pull me in 17 directions.

So here’s your invitation: Write down three things you will protect in this season.

Start here: “In this season, I will protect…”

Maybe it’s:

• Quiet mornings
• Walks without your phone
• No meetings past 4 pm
• Sunday dinners
• Time to pray, write, breathe
• The margin (intentional space) to not rush

Whatever it is, make it yours. Make it real.

Because what you protect frames who you become.

But for now, here’s what I want you to remember:

Having it all only works if you define what “all” is.

And you can’t live in alignment with your life if you’re still chasing someone else’s blueprint.

So go ahead: Redefine what matters. Give yourself permission to shift. And trust that alignment, not approval, is what will get you home.

What is a non-negotiable you have set?

#BalancedandBlending #Intentionality #Growth #PersonalOwnership #Entrepreneurship