Regulate to Relate: Transform Your Relationships by Understanding Your Nervous System

Welcome to our weekly brain transformation time,

This week, we're diving into something that touches every decision you make, every relationship you navigate, and every goal you’re trying to reach—your nervous system.

Most of us try to fix what we feel by pushing through, numbing out, or “thinking harder.” But real emotional clarity and stronger relationships start in your body—not your brain.

Through my neuroscience-based framework, we find that Awareness, Acceptance, and Action are the key steps to brain and body re-wiring.

Let’s explore this through one of my favorite metaphors: 🌊 The River of Life.

🚧 The Banks of the River: Suffering vs. Strength

Think of your life like a river.

• When you’re dysregulated (anxious, shut down, reactive), you’re stuck on the bank of suffering. You feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or trapped—even when things look fine on the outside.
• But when your nervous system is calm and regulated, you’re flowing in the river—clear, connected, and present. You’re aligned with the bank of strength, value, and growth.

Emotional regulation is the bridge that helps you step off the bank of suffering and back into the flow of your life.

Learn more about the River and Subscribe to my substack to get more insights: https://empowerwellness.substack.com/p/neuroplasticity-of-change-through?r=5odqgw

🧠 What Happens in Your Brain

Your nervous system has two main settings:

• 🔥 Fight/Flight/Freeze (survival mode)
• 🌿 Rest/Digest/Connect (regulated mode)

When you’re in survival mode, the amygdala (your emotional alarm system) hijacks your logical thinking. This affects your:

• 💬 Communication in relationships (hello, conflict spirals)
• 🧭 Decision-making (impulsivity or paralysis)
• 🫥 Self-perception (shame, doubt, overthinking)

You might even know better—logically—but feel powerless to act differently. That’s because your body is leading, not your mind.

Listen To our Video of the river of life and our tendecies and cues for suffering: https://empowerwellness.substack.com/p/change-your-mind-change-your-life?r=5odqgw

💡 So, how do we regulate?

Here are 3 brain-based tools to help you get back in the river:

1. Pause & Name: “I feel overwhelmed. My nervous system is activated.” Naming activates your prefrontal cortex and reduces amygdala hijack.
2. Breathe With Intention: Try the 4-7-8 breath or a simple exhale longer than inhale. This signals safety to your nervous system.
3. Connect With Safe People: Regulation is co-regulation. Your nervous system finds calm when it feels safe, seen, and supported—this is why community matters.

Learn More- Read ARticles on My Blog: https://www.empoweringwellnesscounselingsolutions.com/the-power-of-15

🌊 River of Life Takeaway:

You already have what you need. But if you’ve been stuck on the bank of suffering—numb, reactive, or disconnected— it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your nervous system is trying to protect you.

This week, begin noticing where you are in your river.

• Are you in flow?
• Are you stuck on the edge?
• What relationships trigger your nervous system—and which ones help you re-enter the current?

Regulation is the foundation of success. And learning to listen to your nervous system is the first step in getting back into alignment with your values, your purpose, and the people who matter.

You don’t have to figure it all out today—just take one small, present step toward the center of your river.

With you in the flow,

Jennifer Evans, LMHC

Brain Coach | Wellness Guide | Success Strategist

🧠 Want to go deeper? Hit reply to book a 1:1 Brain Coaching Session or join our next class on emotional mastery + success.

🔗 Continue the conversation: 📱 Instagram: @empoweringwellnesscounseling 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-evans-lmhc-lpc/ 🌐 Website: www.counselingwellnesssolutions.com 📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: https://substack.com/@jennevans1 Join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/esi7UyhBa5qPBohh/ Facebook: /Empoweringwellness Subscribe To Our Substack: https://substack.com/@empoweringwellness

Learn more at www.counselingwellnesssolutions.com

Resources:

Transformation Journey Workbook: https://www.empoweringwellnesscounselingsolutions.com/signing-up-for-our-listserv

Key Steps To Live A Happier and Healthier Life: Part 2 Emotional Regulation : https://a.co/d/2GwU6FR

Key Steps To Live A Happier and Healthier Life: Part 1 A Life Worth Living: https://a.co/d/izbM5zc

Saying Goodbye To Bad Brain: https://a.co/d/bjsHydE

Learn More At Empowering Wellness YouTube Page: https://www.youtube.com/@EmpowerWellnessCounselSolution

Connect To The Empowering Wellness Community https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1A4UNvrGHQ/

📅 Ready for transformation? Book your discovery call: https://calendly.com/counselingwellnesssolutions/free-15-minutes-wellness-insight

📣 P.S. Know someone stuck on the bank of survival? Forward this. It could change their week.