The Silent Trap of Labels: Why You Must Stop Calling Yourself (or Others) Anything

There’s an old story I once heard from a wise monk.

A young man came running to the monk, full of pride and energy. “Master,” he said, “I am a warrior. I am brave and strong.”

The monk smiled and said, “The moment you call yourself something, you stop becoming anything else.”

The young man laughed, not understanding.

Years later, the same man came back, defeated and broken. “Master,” he whispered, “I am a failure.”

The monk looked at him, smiled the same way, and said, “You still haven’t learned. You’re not a warrior. You’re not a failure. You are becoming—always becoming.”

The moment we know something about somebody, self included, we want to label them.

Labels Are Like Tattoos on the Soul

When you say, “I am not good enough,” it’s not just a sentence. It becomes a silent instruction to your brain, like code entered into a computer. It starts shaping your decisions, your reactions, your beliefs. Even when you achieve success, something deep inside whispers, “But you’re still not enough.” Because you’ve trained yourself to wear that label like a name badge.

And the worst part? Labels stick harder than chewing gum under a school desk. Especially when they’re negative.

Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her research on growth vs. fixed mindset, explained that when people are told they are “smart” or “dumb,” they start working to prove or protect that label—rather than grow. A child told he is “smart” might avoid tough tasks just so he doesn’t risk not looking smart. A person labeled “lazy” may begin to see no point in trying harder.

We become what we repeatedly say we are—even if it’s not true.

Your Mind is a Garden: Labels Are Seeds

Imagine your mind as a fertile garden. Whatever you plant—beliefs, thoughts, labels—will grow.

Label yourself “undisciplined,” and your actions will unconsciously seek proof to support it. You’ll snooze your alarm, skip your workout, delay your dreams. And every time you do, you’ll say, “See? That’s just who I am.”

But what if, instead, you planted the idea: “I am learning discipline.” It’s a seed of hope, not a jail sentence. Now every small action becomes evidence of your growth.

Words are not just sounds. They’re spells.

That’s why they call it spelling.

People Are Not Statues—They Are Rivers

It’s easy to label people around us too.

“She’s always rude.”

“He’s unreliable.”

“They never change.”

But people are not statues; they are rivers—constantly flowing, sometimes calm, sometimes wild. Their behaviors are shaped by mood, environment, awareness, and a million unseen factors.

Yes, some people behave the same way again and again. But sometimes, all it takes is one life event, one realization, one silent morning with their thoughts—and they’re different. At least for a moment. And in that moment, if you still see them through yesterday’s label, you miss the new version of them.

The Freedom Beyond Labels

What if you just stopped?

What if you stopped calling yourself anything—good or bad?

What if you dropped the label “successful” and focused on “meaningful”?

What if you dropped the label “broken” and focused on “healing”?

And what if you looked at others, not as categories or containers, but as clouds—always shifting, unpredictable, beautiful, and deeply human?

Let’s Be Honest: It’s Hard

We label because it gives us comfort.

Our brain loves certainty, boxes, neat conclusions. “He’s arrogant.” “She’s too emotional.” “I’m not a people person.”

But the most powerful humans are those who walk into the chaos of life without needing to box anything. They live in curiosity, not conclusion. They see people as books still being written, not files to be closed.

Your Identity Is a Journey, Not a Destination

The next time you feel the urge to say, “I am…” pause.

Ask: “Is this a label, or is this a story I’m choosing to rewrite?”

Because you, my friend, are not lazy, dumb, broken, or lost.

You’re becoming.

Always becoming.

And when you give yourself that freedom, you give it to others too.

Try This Today:

• Replace “I am not…” with “I’m learning to…”

• When you catch yourself labeling someone, replace it with: “In this moment, they seem to be acting like…”

• Journal one thing you did today that contradicts a label you’ve carried too long.

Final Thought: If you must label something, label your water bottle. Not your soul. Not your potential. And never another person’s journey.

Because you weren’t born with a label.

You were born with light.

And that light doesn’t fit in any box.