Six Transformative Practices for Personal and Professional Growth | Practice 6: Focus on What You Can Control
Dr (HC) Sai Kavitha KrishnaIyengar
Visionary Leader | Business Transformation, Sales, & Strategy| Diversity Champion | Leadership Style - Entrepreneurial & Coach | ASIA Regional Support Advocate- Customer Experience and Success
Prologue
“The more you try to control everything, the less control you actually have. Here’s the counterintuitive truth no one tells you.”
In a world that constantly overwhelms us with uncertainties, finding our center through focusing on what we can control can feel like discovering a superpower. As I conclude this transformative journey of six practices, I am drawn to perhaps, the most powerful practice of all— focusing solely on what is within our sphere of influence.
Through extensive experience in leadership coaching and personal development, it has become evident that a strategic approach can have a profound impact. In one instance, an individual experienced significant distress due to speculation about potential outcomes. However, upon shifting focus to controllable elements—enhancing performance, thorough preparation for change, and effective alignment with stakeholders—a significant transformation occurred. This shift led to improved clarity in outcomes, which was evident in their renewed confidence and professional presence. By focusing on these key areas, leaders can better navigate challenges and achieve desired results.
When we release our grip on circumstances beyond our influence and channel that energy toward what we can control, we discover a wellspring of power that was previously untapped. This is not merely philosophy—it is a practical strategy that transforms daily living.
Join me as I explore the transformative power of focusing on what you can control in a chaotic world. This single shift in perspective changed everything for me—and it will for you too. Are you ready to discover what is possible when you direct your energy only toward what you can truly influence?
Here are links to my Six Transformative Practices for Personal and Professional Growth posts for reference:
Six Transformative Practices for Personal and Professional Growth
Six Transformative Practices for Personal and Professional Growth | Practice 1: Lead with Kindness
Know Your Circle of Control
As I work with leaders and individuals, I see firsthand how easily we can get caught up in worrying about things beyond our control. I recall coaching a marketing professional who spent countless hours strategizing about potential market shifts, while neglecting to build a strong team culture that would help his organization thrive in any scenario. This experience highlights a crucial lesson: our influence in the world is both limited and profound. We cannot control external circumstances, but we have complete control over our responses. Stephen Covey's concept of circles of concern versus circles of influence provides a practical framework for navigating this.
In my experience, redirecting misallocated energy is one of the greatest untapped resources for personal fulfilment and professional effectiveness. When we obsess over competitors' actions, we miss the opportunity to innovate; when we ruminate on past mistakes, we lose the chance to implement new systems that prevent recurrence. To start focusing on what you can control, begin with a simple inventory: for every concern, ask, "Can I directly influence this outcome through my actions?" If the answer is no, create a conscious practice of mentally releasing it and redirecting that energy toward actionable items. This practice is not just about efficiency; it is about reclaiming your personal power and psychological freedom from the uncontrollable.
As I continue with my own learning in this journey, I particularly appreciate the decision-making framework that starts with identifying which variables we can directly impact. This practice is especially powerful during times of change, when uncertainty can be overwhelming.
Key Takeaways
Energy Allocation: Redirect 80% of your mental resources from worry to actionable influence.
Control Mapping: Regularly map concerns into control, influence, and concern circles.
Decision Filtering: Before each decision, identify which variables you can directly impact. By focusing on what you can control, you enhance your resilience, reduce stress, and increase well-being
Master Your Reactions
When life gets tough, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. But there is a powerful quote from Viktor Frankl that reminds us: "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." This means we can decide how we react to difficult situations.
In one of my coaching sessions, a program manager was tasked with a challenging project deadline. Instead of getting stressed, she focused on breaking it down into manageable tasks and rallying her team. Together, they not only met the deadline but exceeded expectations, earning recognition for their innovative approach.
Our emotions can be strong, but we can manage them with mindfulness practices. These practices help create space between feeling and reacting, allowing us to choose how we respond. Regular meditation can even strengthen the part of our brain that helps us pause before reacting. This means we can turn from being victims of circumstance to being in control of our experiences. Professionals who are good at managing their emotions often do better and are more satisfied than those who are not.
To master your reactions, try a few simple practices. Use the "five-second rule" to pause before responding to something that provokes you. Replace "Why me?" with "What can I learn?" when facing challenges. And practice mindfulness daily to notice your feelings without being controlled by them. These habits can help you grow and respond better to difficult situations. By focusing on what you can control, you gain more power over your life.
Key Takeaways
Response Gap: Practice the five-second pause between stimulus and response.
Question Transformation: Replace "Why me?" with "What can I learn?" in every challenge.
Emotion Mastery: Notice feelings without being consumed by them through daily mindfulness.
Do Less, Better
In today's fast-paced business world, where multitasking is often praised, simplifying our approach can be revolutionary. The old saying "the man who chases two rabbits catches neither" is backed by modern research showing that switching between tasks can reduce productivity by up to 40%. In one of my coaching sessions, a people manager improved her team's effectiveness not by taking on more projects, but by focusing on the most impactful ones. She eliminated half of their initiatives and doubled down on those with the highest potential, leading to significant improvements.
Simplifying our work involves more than just time management; it is about managing our energy strategically. When we align our activities with our values and goals, we often find that a small portion of our efforts yields most of our meaningful results. By focusing on what we can control and eliminating less important tasks, we reduce decision fatigue and increase our impact. In one of my past companies, I learnt about a "focus filtering" exercise, where we eliminate initiatives that do not advance strategic priorities, often reducing project loads while improving results.
To apply this approach, try a few simple practices. Maintain a "not doing" list alongside your priority list to remind yourself of what is not essential. Focus on no more than three major initiatives at once to complete projects faster. Use time blocking to dedicate uninterrupted periods to high-value activities. By simplifying your approach, you can achieve more with less effort and increase your overall impact.
Key Takeaways
Ruthless Elimination: Maintain a "not doing" list alongside your priority list.
Focus Limitation: Concentrate on a maximum of three major initiatives
Time Blocking: Dedicate uninterrupted periods to single high-value activities.
Embrace Uncertainty
In today's fast-paced world, uncertainty is inevitable. However, instead of getting overwhelmed, we can focus on what we control. This mindset helps us navigate unpredictability more effectively. I recall working with an entrepreneurial team that shifted from rigid annual plans to flexible quarterly priorities. This approach allowed them to focus on what they could control—adapting to changing circumstances—and outperform competitors who stuck to outdated long-term projections.
Embracing uncertainty involves recognizing that we cannot control everything, but we can control how we respond. By practicing scenario planning and regularly questioning assumptions, teams can prepare for different outcomes and respond more quickly to market shifts. This approach helps prevent analysis paralysis and maintains directional integrity. I have helped leaders implement "assumption testing protocols" to ensure decisions are based on evidence rather than speculation, focusing on what they can control—making informed decisions.
To apply this approach, focus on what you can control. Use adaptive planning with rolling quarterly priorities to stay flexible and responsive. Classify decisions as reversible or irreversible to guide your decision-making process. And focus on achieving "minimum viable clarity" to take the next step without getting bogged down in uncertainty. By focusing on what you control and embracing uncertainty, you can create a more resilient and adaptable organization.
Key Takeaways
Adaptive Planning: Use rolling quarterly priorities with built-in adaptation points.
Decision Classification: Distinguish between reversible and irreversible choices.
Minimum Viable Clarity: Identify only the few certainties needed for the next step.
Turn Intentions Into Actions
Converting intentions into actions is where our control is most direct and visible. The gap between knowing and doing is a significant waste of potential. For instance, I have seen people achieve their goals by turning big ideas into small, actionable steps. Imagine wanting to start a garden; instead of getting overwhelmed by the whole project, you start by simply buying seeds and preparing the soil. This small step gets you moving and builds momentum.
To turn intentions into actions, break complex goals into small, manageable steps. This prevents paralysis and helps maintain momentum. Creating specific plans for when, where, and how you will act, bridges the gap between commitment and behavior. One of the simple methods I like to share is implementing "commitment protocols," where decisions are not complete until ownership and timelines are assigned. This ensures that everyone knows what needs to be done and by when.
To keep moving forward, identify the "lead domino"—the single action that makes subsequent steps easier. Regularly reviewing progress and celebrating milestones sustains motivation. By focusing on what you can control—your actions—you can turn your intentions into tangible results. Remember, motivation often follows action, so start with small steps and build momentum.
Key Takeaways
Minimum Viable Actions: Break complex goals into smallest possible forward steps.
Implementation Intentions: Create specific plans for when, where, and how you'll act.
Lead Domino Focus: Identify the one action that makes subsequent steps easier.
Relational Clarity: Boundaries and Expectations
In relationships, it is easy to get caught up in trying to control others, but the truth is, we can only control our own actions and responses. For example, when dealing with a challenging scenario, it is more effective to focus on managing your own boundaries and responses rather than trying to change them. Clear boundaries help build stronger, more authentic connections because they prevent resentment from over-extending ourselves.
To achieve relational clarity, it is important to set clear expectations. This means making "clean requests" by specifying exactly what you need, from whom, by when, and with what specifications. This practice eliminates misunderstandings and rework. Additionally, addressing concerns early on can prevent conflicts from escalating. Research shows that resolving issues within a short timeframe leads to much higher success rates.
By focusing on what you can control—your boundaries, expectations, and responses—you can build stronger relationships and manage conflicts more effectively. Remember, caring about others does not mean you are responsible for their choices. By setting clear boundaries and expectations, you can maintain healthy relationships while preserving your own emotional well-being.
Key Takeaways
Boundary Mastery: Establish clear relationship boundaries to enable authentic connection.
Clean Requests: State exactly what you need, from whom, by when, with what specifications.
Early Intervention: Address concerns within 72 hours for a higher resolution success rate.
Epilogue
In my journey of personal and professional growth, I have found that "Focus on What You Can Control" is a transformative practice. It is about channeling my energy effectively by concentrating on what is within my influence. I have learned to redirect my mental resources from worry to actions that create a positive impact. Regularly, I map my concerns into circles of control, influence, and concern, identifying variables that I can directly affect before making decisions. My goal is to enhance resilience, reduce stress, and boost my overall well-being.
This practice has taught me the inevitability of uncertainty and the importance of adapting to changing circumstances. I now use adaptive planning with rolling quarterly priorities, classify decisions as reversible or irreversible, and focus on achieving "minimum viable clarity." I put a lot of emphasis on converting intentions into actions by breaking complex goals into smaller, manageable steps, creating specific implementation plans, and identifying the lead domino action.
What I have also discovered is that focusing on what I can control extends to my relationships as well. It is about establishing clear boundaries, making precise requests, and addressing concerns promptly. Ultimately, this practice helps foster stronger relationships and enables me to manage conflicts more effectively. For me, it is clear that concentrating on what I can control is key to a more fulfilling life.
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