On Smokers, CEOs and Empathy!

Dear Reader,

In these dark days, I wish you one thing at your well-stocked festive table: a smoker. Yes, you read that right. Of course, smoking is a very bad habit, with devastating effects on health. Confronting a smoker about their harmful habit might even seem like an act of genuine kindness. But let’s be honest, compassion isn’t the only reason we enjoy discussing a smoker’s problem.

During social gatherings like Christmas parties, we often talk about the shortcomings of others. This behavior has a psychological basis. Criticizing others often makes us feel better about ourselves. That’s why 64% of our conversations about others tend to be negative—they give us a fleeting boost in self-confidence. On top of that, criticizing smokers is universally acceptable, which fosters a sense of social validation at the table. Everyone wins, except the smoker—who’s probably outside anyway.

There’s another reason, too. People have a tendency to attribute their own failures to external factors, while blaming others’ failures on personal shortcomings. This phenomenon, known as the self-serving bias, was highlighted in a 2020 study showing that individuals tend to see themselves as better informed and more socially motivated than their peers—often contrary to reality. For example, researchers estimate that around 50% of a person’s vulnerability to nicotine addiction is determined by genetic factors. Smoking addiction is far more complex than a matter of willpower. It’s an intricate interplay of genetics, environment, and psychology. And the same applies to other addictions present at the table, like smartphone addiction, compulsive shopping, or food addiction. But we don’t talk about those.

In summary, it’s all too easy to pass negative and oversimplified judgments, but that doesn’t help the smoker. If you truly want to help, it takes understanding and scientific insight—and that requires effort.

Interestingly, we see the same dynamics in media coverage of leaders, particularly CEOs. They’re often painted as the smokers at the holiday table. Yet 74% of CEOs report experiencing regular stress from the challenge of keeping their organizations afloat (Mental Health Foundation, 2022). Moreover, a 2022 WHO study found that 67% of business leaders worry about their employees’ well-being, especially in today’s economic climate.

And that economic reality? According to the OECD, the global economy is becoming increasingly hard to predict due to geopolitical tensions and disruptive technologies. In a Journal of Economic Perspectives study, 81% of respondents said economic uncertainty significantly complicates strategic decision-making.

Let’s not forget that behind every challenge—be it a smoker or a business leader—there’s a human being grappling with complex circumstances. A bit more empathy and a little less unfounded criticism could take us all a long way.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy nicotine patches.

Resources:

Abrams, D., Van de Vyver, J., Pelletier, J., & Cameron, C. (2020). Self-other asymmetries in pro-social behavior and increased anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Andreassen, C. S., & Pallesen, S. (2014). Social network site addiction: An overview. Current Addiction Reports.

Beersma, B., van Kleef, G. A., & De Dreu, C. K. W. (2022). The dynamics of gossip: Social functions and psychological consequences. Annual Review of Psychology.

Gearhardt, A. N., Davis, C., & Kuschner, R. (2011). The addiction potential of hyper-palatable foods. Current Drug Abuse Reviews.

Hartung, F. M., Krohn, C., & Diefenbach, S. (2021). The social and emotional implications of gossiping. Social Psychology.

López-Moratalla, N., & García-Gómez, P. (2014). Genetic vulnerability to nicotine addiction. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience.

Journal of Economic Perspectives (2022). Strategic decision-making under uncertainty. Journal of Economic Perspectives.

Mental Health Foundation (2022). Stress and leadership in uncertain times. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology.

OECD (2023). Economic Outlook: Navigating complex futures. OECD Economic Studies, 2023.

Schönfelder, S., & Zumwald, C. (2018). Compulsive buying disorder: Evidence, characteristics, and treatments. Journal of Behavioral Addictions.

WHO (2022). Workplace mental health: Leadership and employee wellbeing. World Health Organization Publications.