Stepping Up (and In)

My first solo speaking event. I wasn’t nervous at first, until I found out I was on first. OMG, have you ever experienced that stomach turning wave of anxiety? Well, what came next was warmth. The welcome. Every single person in that room held space for me as I walked up to my entrance song: 🎶 "But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out… Honestly, I wanna see you be brave." — Sara Bareilles, “Brave”

I spoke. I shared. I connected. I cried.

My talk explored a deeply personal and professional evolution, a journey through loss, growth, and rediscovery. The theme: Compassionate Leadership, Grief Visibility, and Purpose Driven Work.

I spoke openly and candidly about;

💭 Who am I?

More than a job title. A mother. A leader. A human navigating grief.

🌍 Why I stepped away from HR during the pandemic

Like many, I hit pause, but for me, it was also about healing and reassessing what mattered. The pandemic was brutal on HR professionals. We held up teams emotionally and logistically but often felt invisible ourselves .... I burnt out. Disillusioned, I left HR and took on a completely different role: care work.

👩⚕️ Lessons from working in Care

A humbling, eye opening experience that gave me a new lens on leadership, resilience, and humanity. For six months full-time (and nearly three years part-time), I worked in care. I sat with people at the end of their lives, some alone, some forgotten. It was raw, grounding, and humbling.

That experience reminded me: grief, love, fear, and hope walk into work with us every day. We must stop pretending people leave their humanity at the door.

That realisation reignited my HR purpose.

🎯 Returning to HR with a new purpose

Not just to tick boxes or climb ladders but to make a difference. To lead differently. When I came back, it was only for organisations aligned with meaningful work. I joined Lewes Football Club, the first football club to pay its women’s team the same as the men’s. My role wasn’t just HR, it was embedding a culture of equality, inclusion, and impact through campaigns like:

• #EqualityFC

• #CallHimOut

• #EqualFACup

This was purpose led leadership in action.

🏃♀️ Founding a Kids’ Fitness Charity

A channel for hope and community impact. Alongside care work and HR, I launched a kids & teens fitness charity. We reached 150+ children through schools, football and rugby clubs, promoting the link between physical activity, social connections (REAL connections) and mental wellbeing.

💔 Jenna’s story ~ the heart of my journey

She is my why. My forever motivation to speak, lead, and live with authenticity. On July 17, 1999, Jenna was born. And died. Full-term and healthy.

I almost died too, HELLP Syndrome nearly took us both. I survived, but a part of me didn’t. Grief like that doesn’t go away. It reshapes you. It’s the reason I do what I do.

I’m a member of the Ugly Shoes Club, a quiet sisterhood of parents navigating life after child loss. And I’ve learned that grief shows up everywhere, even in the workplace.

🧠 Grief and Mental Health in the workplace

Still taboo. Still misunderstood. Still not part of most leadership conversations but it must be. Workplaces have historically ignored grief. The pandemic changed that, but not enough.

Some grief we can talk about. Other kinds, like the grief that comes with relief remain wrapped in silence and shame. This is the kind of grief no one prepares you for: when a death doesn’t feel like your world has ended, but like a weight has been lifted. And with that relief comes guilt ... and shame. Because who admits that death wasn’t devastating? That they felt free instead of broken? But that’s still grief. It just wears a different face and it deserves space too.

Grief isn’t just about funerals. It’s not always triggered by death. Grief can be the ache of a broken relationship, the slow loss of a friendship that faded, or the quiet heartbreak of dreams unfulfilled, like the hope of having children, and facing the reality that you can’t.

This too is grief. It’s the silent mourning of the life you imagined and the courage it takes to live the one you didn’t plan for.

🗣️ Why speaking up about grief (and child loss) matters

Because silence isolates. Stories connect. And honesty heals. Grief leaves a hole. Like the sculpture Melancolie by Albert György, hollow, but still standing. That’s how it feels. But people can thrive, even with that hollow space if they’re supported.

Silence isolates. Stories connect. Sharing heals. And telling my story helps me and (hopefully) helps others too. It makes space for the kind of honesty that drives real cultural change.

💚 Mental Wealth vs. Mental Health

Mental health is important. But mental wealth, investing in what strengthens us, that’s the game changer. I talk about mental wealth because thriving is more than surviving. It’s about connection, purpose, and being able to bring your whole self to work, grief, quirks, chaos goblin and all.

Brave

I walked to the stage to the sound of "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, starting at the line: 🎶 “But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out…”

.... And I did.

So, for the love of chocolate don't let imposter syndrome dictate your worth. Embrace your achievements, celebrate your successes, and remember that you are more than capable of achieving great things – even when that little voice in your head tells you otherwise. -- Ang 2024

But, it wasn't just about me, my experience or my journey.

It was a day of courage and connection

The HR Big Meet is the in-person event for women in HR where you can expect to:

• 🌟 Be centre stage for the day! This entire event is dedicated to supporting you as a woman in HR.

• 🌟 Get the support you give to everyone else, in a room full of people cheering you on.

• 🌟 Receive real, meaningful development that truly speaks to the challenges of a role that so few understand.

• 🌟 Be heard and fully self-expressed, in a safe, connected space.

🧭 A Different Kind of HR Event

I arrived in London excited, not just to speak, but to meet hundreds of other women in HR. Women I knew I could learn from, laugh with, and be inspired by. This wasn’t your typical HR event. There were no vendor stands, no sessions trying to sell the latest HR system, and definitely no dry updates on employment law.

Instead, here’s what greeted us:

• 💫 A grounding session led by the amazing Bobby Davis FIoL FCIPD PCC, helping everyone arrive fully, body, breath, and mind.

• 💥 Swearing (yes, HR people swear — I found my tribe 💁🏻♀️)

• 🥋 Kung-fu vibing (still working on my form 😅)

• 💖 Tears, laughter, celebrations, hugs, delicious food … and prosecco, obviously.

There were breakout rooms, with no hard sell, just rich, relevant conversations.

Sophie Meaney Clare Dare Abbie Johnson Sam Schlimper

🧠 Deep, meaningful, and rawly honest sessions from amazing speakers.

Sasi Venables Chartered FCIPD Morna Bunce Fay Wallis

And 🗣️ Powerful panels, no corporate hard sell, just real talk. About REAL life stuff.

Bobby Davis FIoL FCIPD PCC Dr Shelley Poole Zoe Walters Samantha Garstin🩸Period Princess 👸