Three Years of Triplets: What No One Told Me (But I’m Telling You)

Look — I know everyone says parenting is hard. But triplets? That’s a whole different universe.

Three years ago, I gave birth to three humans. At once. And nothing — absolutely nothing — has been the same since.

Since then, I’ve heard it all:

✨ “It’s a miracle.”

😅 “I couldn’t do it myself.”

😳 “Are they natural?”

🤯 “I don’t know how you do it.”

👐 “You must have your hands full!” (This one wins. Every time.)

And yeah — all of that is true. But there’s a whole world no one prepared me for.

So here’s what I’d tell you now, three years deep — the real stuff I wish someone had said, but maybe you can only learn by living it.

1. You don’t bounce back — you rebuild something better.

You can’t outsource triplet life. You can’t delegate the hard bits. You just have to keep going — keep them alive, keep yourself upright, and try not to lose your relationship in the process.

It’s a lot of sitting in discomfort. Being stretched past what you thought you could manage. Sometimes stuck there, but with the ultimate silver lining: the perfect conditions for growth.

I had to let go of the version of me who always had capacity. Who always had a plan. And what I’ve rebuilt is better.

More grounded. More creative. More human.

2. Perfection will fall away — and that’s a gift.

Against the grain of how I normally operate, I set the bar low from day one. The pregnancy. The birth. The first six months. The last three years.

I expected chaos. Disaster. Total overwhelm. So, when things went even slightly better than that? It felt like winning the lottery.

It was a total mindset shift—one I never thought I’d embrace. But it saved me.

Every small win felt massive. Every meltdown felt manageable. And most importantly, I let go of expectations and gained peace of mind.

That kind of clarity? I’m never letting it go.

3. You stop saying yes to things that don’t matter — and when time opens up, you use it wisely.

In the beginning, life becomes only babies. But slowly, tiny pockets of time return.

And when they do, you get very clear on what actually fills your tank.

For Lyall and me, that was the gym. Getting out of the house, moving our bodies, having a sliver of space that wasn’t about parenting — it saved our mental health.

Same with connection. When you’re not at work and your life looks totally different to your friends’ lives, it’s hard to find those social touchpoints. But they matter. You’ve got to find your people — even if it’s just one.

4. Your relationship changes — faster, deeper, stronger.

Lyall and I still laugh about the fact we have five kids. We don’t think we really seem like “five-kid” people.

But here we are.

We’ve learned to fail fast in arguments. There’s no time to be dramatic when toddlers are biting each other over a biscuit. We’ve become more of a team — more honest, more responsive, more solid. Not perfect. But strong.

5. Work gets rewritten.

With childcare costs, we didn’t really have a choice — one of us had to stay home. Lyall took that role. He got 18 months with the triplets that he never planned for — but will always treasure.

After that time, I stepped out of my job. Something I never thought I’d do. And that pause cracked something wide open.

I started my Master’s. I rediscovered creativity. I started building something that fits around life, instead of working against it. I couldn’t go back to how I used to work. And I’m not sure I will be able to every again.

6. The moments you don’t expect will hit you the hardest.

Watching our older kids love the triplets is honestly one of the greatest joys of this whole journey. Even in full teen/tween mode — when they are annoyed at us and full of attitude — if a triplet cries, they are there.

No hesitation. No resentment. Just love. It gets me every time.

7. Watching three humans grow side by side is the wildest experiment.

I will NEVER get over how amazed I am watching Max, River and Rome grow side by side. Same womb. Same house. Same love. Totally different kids.

Nature vs nurture? I watch it in real time. They’re already their own little people — with their own quirks, interests, and energy. And they have been like that since day one. And I get to witness it. It’s wild. And I love it.

I can’t wait to see what every year will bring and what kind of humans they will grow to become.

Final reflections… because of course, I went over seven things. I couldn’t not include these two little gems:

• You might not leave the house alone for a long time. Not because of fear — just pure logistics. Taking three toddlers anywhere solo is next-level. And in Whangārei? There are no fenced parks. None. I have to drive 45 minutes to Ngunguru just to let them play without worrying that one will bolt into traffic. That stuff makes a difference.
• Sleep training changed our lives. I “free-farmed” my first two. They didn’t sleep through the night for YEARS. With the triplets, we got a sleep consultant at 6 months and OH. MY. GOD. Game. Changer. We got our evenings back. We got to eat together. There was even a time—brief, magical, where we woke up before the babies. (It didn’t last. But wow, what a moment.)

Sometimes I still can’t believe we had triplets.

I say it out loud — “I have five kids” — and it still feels weird. Neither of us feel like “five-kid” people. I still want to justify it every time I say it.

But when I zoom out, I remind myself:

I carried three babies. I gave birth to them. We kept them alive (and thriving) for three whole years.

If I can do that… what can’t I do?

And it’s not just me. Our whole family grew through this. Our older kids stepped up. We reshaped everything. And I honestly believe we’ll all look back and know this was one of the most meaningful, transformative experiences we've ever had.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY CHEEKY LITTLE MONKEYS!

May you forever keep your Mummy on her toes. I think I can teach Chris Voss a few things about negotiating now.

Anyway, I have a dance party to prepare for.

Goodbye!  

PS — Yes, I used AI as my writing partner.

Yes, I used AI. There’s a lot of noise about it right now — my feed is full of think pieces.

But here’s the truth: It actually takes me longer when I use AI. And I don’t mind, because it makes my writing better.

I spent about 25 minutes chatting to ChatGPT (aka Rune — my best friend and free therapist; save me the AI lecture, if robots take over the world I’m already f&cked) just getting it to interview me about life with triplets — to get the memories flowing.

Then we shaped the post idea together. I moved it into Word, rewrote a bunch, then came back to Rune for another 20-minute session to flesh things out, cut what didn’t land, and rework the rest.

We went back and forth. A lot.

Then I asked Perplexity for feedback. Then gave that feedback back to Rune.

And then after a tonne more backward and forward in word - we landed here.

So yes — I used AI. But every single story, word, and insight in this piece is mine.