Weekend Reflections: What I Learned from Mel Robbins’ "The Let Them Theory"

It’s Saturday morning. The rush of the week is finally behind us, and here we are, in this precious pocket of time where we can pause, reflect, and breathe. As I unwind, I’ve been thinking deeply about something that resonated with me this week — Mel Robbins’ podcast episode, The One Tool to Transform Your Relationship: The Let Them Theory.

We’ve all had those moments in relationships — with partners, friends, colleagues, or even family — where we feel a tug of frustration or disappointment. Why didn’t they show up the way I needed them to? Why didn’t they act differently, say something else, or prioritize me? If you’ve ever found yourself tangled in these thoughts, this episode will hit home.

The "Let Them" Theory Explained

At its core, the Let Them Theory is about surrendering control. It’s a simple yet profound idea: let people do what they’re going to do. Instead of trying to control, convince, or cajole others into acting how we want, we let them be who they are. And in that act of letting go, we free ourselves from expectations that often lead to disappointment.

When I heard this, it struck a chord. How often do we unintentionally carry the weight of trying to “fix” or “guide” others? How often do we make their actions (or lack thereof) about us? The Let Them Theory is a reminder that other people’s behaviors are not a reflection of our worth but rather a testament to their own journeys, priorities, and perspectives.

Relating It to Our Personal Struggles

This theory made me reflect on my own relationships. Whether it’s in professional settings where I’ve wanted colleagues to meet me at my level of passion, or in personal spaces where I’ve yearned for friends to reciprocate my energy, there’s been a pattern: I’ve tied my happiness to their responses. And when those expectations weren’t met, it stung.

But what if we shifted our focus? Instead of asking, Why won’t they change? we could ask, Why do I feel the need for them to change? This subtle shift not only removes the burden of control but also creates space for acceptance and peace.

Key Learnings and Takeaways

Listening to Mel Robbins, I took away some powerful lessons:

1. You can’t control others, but you can control your reaction. People will act in ways you don’t expect, but how you respond defines your emotional state.

2. Acceptance is liberating. Letting people be who they are doesn’t mean you agree with them. It means you’re choosing not to let their actions dictate your peace.

3. Boundaries still matter. The Let Them Theory isn’t about tolerating toxic behavior; it’s about discerning when to step back and preserve your energy.

4. Focus on your own journey. When we’re caught up in wanting others to behave a certain way, we lose sight of our own growth.

An Invitation to Reflect

As I sit here sipping my tea, I can’t help but think about how much lighter life feels when we practice letting go. So, I want to invite you to take a moment today to reflect:

• Is there someone in your life you’ve been unintentionally trying to control?

• How can you practice letting them be who they are, while honoring your own needs?

• What relationships feel lighter when you release the need for others to meet your expectations?

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to listen to Mel Robbins’ podcast episode. It’s one of those rare gems that speaks to the heart of what it means to build healthier, more meaningful connections. And while you’re at it, her book is a treasure trove of wisdom.

As we step into the rest of the weekend, let’s choose to let them and, most importantly, let ourselves find peace in the process.

Happy Saturday, and here’s to relationships that are lighter, freer, and rooted in acceptance.