We’re Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

We’re Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

Not everyone likes us.

I was talking with a close friend today.

We talked about letting go of what people think of us. We spoke about the importance of releasing the feeling that we can, in any way, shape the way people perceive us.

This isn’t just something we read about in self-help books. It seems obvious, right?

From the time, we are little, we see bumper stickers, slogans and come across people who tell us to “be ourselves.” We continuously hear that we need to stop worrying about what other people think of us.

What others think of us is none of our business, the saying goes.

Easy peasy. Right?

It’s easy to hear these pieces of advice. And it feels natural to include them in our conversation when we speak with others.

But, let’s face it, if we are being truthful with ourselves, the advice to let go of the opinions of others is not easy advice to follow. We all have pockets within that seem to need to be filled with the admiration or “likes” of others. It’s why there’s such a dopamine rush when one of our social media posts gets a like – or, even better, lots of likes.

And, yet, here’s the scoop. Some people are going to dislike us. Often, it has nothing or very little to do with us. Some people are going to misinterpret our actions. Some people are going to believe gossip. And, this is the hard part, sometimes people will accurately perceive our intentions and actions and, yes, they won’t appreciate us or our actions.

Often we do or say the “wrong” thing, because we are… drumroll…human.

So what’s a person to do?

Meditate.

I know. Shut up about meditation, Amanda.

Well, no. Because here’s the deal. We simply cannot intellectualize our way out of all behaviors, needs and actions.

We need some distance from our thoughts, otherwise we become one with them. We believe them. We believe the bad things we tell ourselves about ourselves. We believe in the grandiose things we tell ourselves about ourselves. And, we get deflated when we are ignored or disliked, and inflated when we receive praise or feel liked.

There is one way to distance ourselves from the words swirling around in our brains so that we can see higher truths.

Meditation.

Try it. You need it. I promise.