What NOT TO SAY When People Ask, "What Do You Do?"

A New Yorker cartoon by Tom Toro featured a man holding up a sales sheet and telling unhappy individuals on an elevator what he did. The caption? "Whoops. I accidentally pressed 'elevator speech."

Do you know anyone who likes listening to a speech? Me neither.

Yet that's exactly what many of us have been taught to do with the "I help ______ do ______" framework.

There's got to be a better way to introduce our self. There is - and here it is.

I introduced this approach at an INC 500 conference and it was one of the highest-rated sessions along with Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, and Jim Collins.

I asked Colleen, entrepreneur of the year for her state, what she normally says when people ask, "What do you do?"

Sixty seconds later, none of us had any idea what her company did.

This is not trivial. She was surrounded by some of the top business owners in the country, yet few would remember her, walk up to her to continue the conversation. or explore a potential partnership because they had no idea what she did. That's millions of dollars in lost opportunity costs.

I said, "From now on, never try to EXPLAIN your work. It's like trying to explain electricity. It just confuses people and confused people don't keep listening.

"What do I do instead?"

This.

1. What are the real-world results of what you do that people can see, smell, taste or touch?

"Well, I run medical facilities that offer MRI’s and CT scans.”

“That's better because we can see what you're saying. It's concrete instead of conceptual. Plus, you distilled what you do into one sentence instead of launching into a long-winded explanation that goes in one ear, out the other. 

Don’t stop there though. If you just TELL people what you do, they'll go "OH," and that'll be the end of the conversation. You don't want to END conversations you want to OPEN conversations. The next step is to:

1. Ask a three-part question that turns a monologue into a dialogue and that gives them an opportunity to relate to what you do. For example, "Do you know anyone - could be yourself, a friend, or a family member - who's had an MRI or a CT scan?

She said, "What's this about a three-part question?"

“If you ask a one-part question, ‘Have YOU ever had an MRI?’ and the person hasn’t, the conversation comes to a screeching halt. Plus, there's something called "The Evolution of Intimacy" and that's too direct and narrow a question - it could back people into a corner and cause them to feel cornered.

Amy Poehler says, "I get a little itchy if I don't have some kind of control." Giving people three options not only increases the likelihood they'll know someone who is familiar with - or has experienced what you do - it gives hem OPTIONS so they control their response.

1. Put a sock in it and isten to what they say. It is crucial to STOP TALKING so THEY have a chance to respond so you can personalize what you say next.Imagine the person says, 'I haven't, but my daughter hurt her knee playing soccer. She had an MRI."
2. Now, LINK what you do to what they just said. Say,"Oh, I run the medical facilities that offer MRI’s like the one your daughter had when she hurt her knee playing soccer.'

Their eyebrows will probably go up and they''ll probably say 'Aaahh.' Believe me, an intrigued 'Aahhh' is a lot better than an apathetic 'oh' or a confused "huh?'

You've just established commonality which is the root of all connection. 

And all in 60 seconds!

She said, "Why didn't someone teach me this years ago? I can't wait to get back home and teach this to my team."

How about you? How do you introduce yourself?

From now on, when people ask "What do you do?" don't TELL them. That's one-way communication. Instead, set up two-way communication - all in the first minutes of meeting people by;

Asking a three-way question that gives people an opportunity to share how they've benefitted from you do - or experienced it - or relate to it ... and you're on your way to a more meaningful conversation and connection.

And isn't that what we all want?

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Want Sam to help you and your team/group create better elevator connections?