What Happens When Work Breaks You (And How Great Leaders Prevent It)

“Have you got a minute?”

Few phrases rattle me more.

My colleague (and someone I trusted) called me into a meeting room. No small talk. Just a strange tension in the air.

He started talking at me about my clients. My work. My accounts.

I stared, confused. Then he blurted it.

“I’m your boss now”

The world shifted on its axis. I was angry and disappointed. A surge of nausea in my throat. But most of all, I felt betrayed.

You see, that promotion that was handed to him had been promised to me! Multiple times. I was even asked what kind of director I wanted to be. And I believed them.

I wasn’t even told. I was blindsided. Humiliated.

I went looking for answers. What did I miss? Could I have spoken up sooner? Why didn’t HR intervene?

I left that organisation not long after, with my tail between my legs.

I’d poured myself into that role. They assumed I’d stay. Golden handcuffs, they call it. But I chose freedom over betrayal.

And it didn't just impact my work-self. It infiltrated everything. My confidence was through the floor. It strained my relationships. Damaged my health.

I carried that pain for almost 10 years.

And from that pain, Happier at Work was born.

I asked the hard questions. I looked inside and outside. I listened to others’ experiences.

I developed the Happier at Work framework grounded in academic research and lived experience.

No one should ever have to feel how I felt that day. 

And it starts with how we lead.

When I spoke up, I was shot down.

That's why the foundation of the framework is Psychological safety 

• “Have I created an environment where people feel ok to share what’s on their mind and challenge how we do things?”

I also uncovered what gives employees a true sense of belonging at work, because I know what it’s like to feel disconnected and discarded.

The three pillars are: 

Values alignment 

• “Are we clear on what we stand for? And is this reflected in our employees’ day to day experience at work?”

Needs satisfaction 

• “What do our people need to thrive? Are we meeting those needs?”

Strengths empowerment

• “Do I know my team members’ strengths? Am I helping them to use those strengths everyday?”

And finally the capstone: Leadership

Because without the right leadership in place, the rest falls flat. 

• “Do I want to be a leader? How can I be the one people trust, follow, and remember?”

Why this matters now more than ever.

Employee engagement is at an all-time low globally.

Quiet quitting. Burnout. Resignations. Disengagement.

They’re not just buzzwords, they’re costing organisations billions.

According to Gallup:

• Only 23% of employees are actively engaged at work.

• Businesses with engaged employees are 23% more profitable.

• High-performing teams experience 81% lower absenteeism and 18% higher productivity.

And the data is clear:

Happier employees stay longer, perform better, and contribute more.

This isn’t just about doing what’s right for people.

It’s about doing what works for business.

If you want to create workplaces where people feel valued, connected and committed to staying because of the culture you created, take this 2 min quiz to identify where you might be falling down: What’s Your Leadership Archetype?

About the author

Aoife O’Brien founded Happier at Work in 2019 because she witnessed firsthand the impact of poor workplace culture on both organisations and employees. Using her research-based Happier at Work framework, she partners with commercial leaders in global companies to cultivate human-centred workplace cultures that prioritise wellbeing, career growth, and meaningful impact. She supports employees to build their confidence, gain career clarity and reach their full potential, while driving increased engagement and retention in organisations. Her clients are leaders who want to be seen as advocates for and architects of thriving workplaces. They hire her to speak and deliver corporate programmes. She has worked with global organisations like Meta, MSD, Ciena, AbbVie, Logitech, and HubSpot. She has been featured by several national and international media platforms, public speaking events, and ~100 podcast guest appearances talking about imposter syndrome, career development, fit, employee engagement, productivity, and remote working. Her award-winning podcast, Happier at Work®, has a global audience of nearly 150k. In January 2024 she received the coveted LinkedIn Top Voice badge. She has lived and worked in several different countries and has visited all 7 continents.