What will you keep and what will you let go of?

What do you want to keep/let go of  in 2025?

This is always a good time for reflection to assess how this year played out VS what your intentions for it were.

Every year for the past decade I brainstorm a list and select three to serve as guideposts, based on my intentions for how I want life to feel like.

My three words for 2024 were:

Ask - ask for what I want, ask questions when I don’t know the answer, ask people questions because I’m curious

Relate - how am I relating to others and how are they relating to me

Shape - what could I influence/guide/develop

Ask

So what did I ask/ask for? And even a bit more strategically, what did I WANT to ask but determine, after much reflection, that I should not ask?

I asked myself what I wanted each of my days to look like. I learned at a deep level during covid that I’m trading a day of my life with every sunrise, so how and with whom did I want to spend this precious resource?

And when I took the time to write down those things, it led me to asking for a new job.

I asked the universe (and my human network) to support me in finding a role that would allow me utilize my skills and favorite things.

That mission was accomplished. 

And what did I decide NOT to ask? 

The questions that I kind of already knew the answers to and that I wasn’t going to impact any change, even if I did ask those questions. Because those people didn’t really want to hear what my questions were. They just wanted to keep doing what they were doing because it worked for them. 

And working for them mattered much more than things working for both/all of us. When I realized the truth in those scenarios, I moved on and do my best to let it go and let them be them (thanks @MelRobbins).

This was one of my strongest messages this year. 

Relate

When you’re in agreement with people - relating is easy. You’re of like minds.

When you don’t, things get tougher.

This showed up in the strongest way as it relates to my leadership role with the NKBA. Our chapter council worked through a series of very conflicting personality and communication styles. And, as the president, it often landed on my shoulders to have those difficult “referee” conversations.

It prompted me to ask myself numerous times why I volunteer to be involved in these kinds of challenges. 

And the answer I continue to land on is that it helps me develop stronger leadership skills as well as street smarts and good communication. 

Not fun part of the role, but valuable.

Shape

This was about influencing the look and feel of whatever I was involved in. Where, in what ways, I could (with positive intention) do that. 

This included relationships and my home. 

Since I purchased my condo in 2023 “as is”, shaping it will involve several years of projects. 

A huge one for the entire building happened this year with the replacement of ALL the pipes. This involved multiple weeks of having no running water (sometimes just during the day, others 24/7). I realize that natural disasters take that luxury away from many, which is a much bigger deal. 

But in the context of my own life, I needed to reshape my thoughts and feelings around strangers coming in and out of my home for days on end, and finding ways to work in and around all the grime, noise, clutter and disruption. Ugh. What a test. 

And what a huge new perspective on what my clients go through. 

In my relationships, professional and personal, how I showed up for people shaped how the relationship moved forward. And the place I always put my intention to coming back to is love. Because an eternal guidepost, when in doubt,  is to ask “what would love do?”

And for 2025, the three words are

Collaborate

Explore

Accept

What are your intentions/focus for the next 365?