When Uncertainty is Disorienting

Why the In-Between Feels So Disorienting

Understanding the tension between where we were and what’s next

By Dr. Celina Peerman

I often think I need to rush to get through the in-between.

The space after a big decision—but before anything’s settled. The moment when the old way no longer works—but the new way isn’t ready yet. The opportunity that I want to bring faster my way, instead of accepting the process.

This space is the gap—and a space I’ve long been fascinated by. I’ve come to believe it’s where the real work of leadership begins.

But it’s also where we feel the most uncomfortable.

So let’s talk about why the in-between feels so disorienting—and what that discomfort might actually be pointing to.

 1. You’ve lost your landmarks

When change hits, the routines, relationships, or responsibilities that used to guide you may no longer apply. You’re not where you used to be—but you haven’t yet landed somewhere new.

It’s like standing in a hallway where all the doors are closed—and the one behind you just locked.

Without familiar cues, even simple choices feel overwhelming. We’re wired to orient based on what’s known. When that’s gone, we feel untethered.

2. Your brain craves certainty

The brain is a prediction machine. It constantly asks:

• What happens next?
• Is this safe?
• Where do I fit?

When those answers are unclear, it perceives risk—and activates stress responses like overthinking, withdrawal, micromanagement, or perfectionism.

Uncertainty feels like a threat—even if it’s just possibility in disguise.

3. Your identity gets blurry

Transitions aren’t just about logistics. They often challenge our sense of self.

• “Who am I without that role?”
• “What if I don’t want what I used to want?”
• “How do I lead if I’m still figuring it out?”

This is where grief shows up, even in growth. And where self-doubt can feel loudest.

4. You’re under pressure to act—without direction

The gap is rarely quiet. People still need decisions. Deadlines still loom. You’re expected to lead forward… even if you’re not sure where “forward” is yet.

This tension, I believe, is responsibility without clarity and can be deeply draining.

5. It feels vulnerable

In the in-between, you might need to say things like:

• “I don’t know yet.”
• “We’re figuring it out.”
• “This feels hard.”

And that honesty can feel risky, especially in cultures that reward certainty over courage.

But vulnerability is not weakness. It’s what anchors trust when direction is still forming.

A Reframe to Hold Onto:

The in-between is not empty. It’s full of emotion, possibility, learning, and the raw material of growth.

It’s where resilience is practiced and where realignment happens. Where new questions lead to better answers.

And maybe most importantly, it is where we remember that leadership isn’t built on having it all figured out.

It’s built in the middle.

Consider these as part of your “next”:

• Where are you currently in an “in-between” season—personally or professionally?
• Which part of the discomfort feels most familiar?
• What would shift if you gave yourself (and others) a little more permission to be in the gap?

With you in the space between,

Dr. Celina

🎤 Watch my TEDx talk on this topic: https://www.ted.com/talks/dr_celina_peerman_working_the_gaps

📘 Read more in 49 Chameleons or explore tools at drcelinapeerman.com