When You Say “I’ll Be There”… and Then Don’t Show Up

I’ve been organizing events for years. And every time someone says “I’ll be there!” — I smile. I start imagining where they’ll sit, who I could connect them with, whether I should order one more coffee, if the room is spacious enough for everyone.

Because beyond flyers, lights, speakers and agendas, an event means people. And every “yes” counts.

But sometimes that “yes” never becomes presence. And when that happens — the cost doesn’t disappear. The seat is paid for. The food is ordered. The coffee is made. The effort is real.

And no, it’s not “covered by sponsors.” Because the truth is, sponsorships are not what they used to be. Prices have gone up — venues, suppliers, catering, print, AV, everything. Barters rarely work anymore. Sponsors are more cautious. And there are more events than ever.

Competition is high, costs are rising, and expectations… are huge. But what hurts the most isn’t logistics. It’s the confirmed guests who never show up. Because behind every “yes, I’m coming,” things are put in motion:

🔹 A seat is reserved 🔹 A coffee is ordered 🔹 The venue is paid based on headcount 🔹 The schedule is adjusted 🔹 The suppliers are coordinated

And when someone confirms and doesn’t show up — without notice — someone still pays. Usually, the organizer. From their own pocket. From their time. From their energy.

Why does this happen?

Because many people got used to free events. There was a time when sponsors covered most of the costs. It was a different era, a different openness.

But today, every resource counts. Whether a ticket costs 10€, 30€, or 50€, it includes much more than just “access”: ✔️ Venue rental ✔️ Technical equipment ✔️ Photo/video services ✔️ Catering & drinks ✔️ Suppliers, moderators, staff ✔️ Intentionally curated networking ✔️ Dozens of hours of behind-the-scenes work — from concept to follow-up

So when someone confirms and simply doesn’t come — and doesn’t say a word — it’s not just an absence. It’s an empty chair in a puzzle built with care. A gap in a budget that’s already tight. A “small detail” that becomes a big issue.

And no, I’m not saying this to blame anyone. I’m saying it to explain — sincerely — what a simple confirmation really means.

When you say “I’m coming,” it’s not just a click. It’s a commitment. A sign of respect. A contribution to something that’s being built around you.

So what can we do, as participants?

It’s simple:

🎯 If you said you’ll come — show up.

🎯 If you can’t anymore — let the organizer know.

🎯 If the event has a ticket — pay in advance.

It’s about respect. For the work behind the scenes. For the other attendees. For the idea of community.

And yes — life happens. Plans change. Emergencies pop up. But it’s so easy and so human to say: “I’m sorry, I can’t make it anymore.” That alone makes a huge difference.

Events don’t organize themselves. They require vision. Partnerships. Long hours. Adjustments. Backup plans. Strong nerves and big hearts. But most of all — they need people who can be counted on.

So next time you see an event in your feed and feel like joining, do it with joy — and with intention. And if you say “yes,” do your best to make it a present yes.

Because beyond organizers, this is about building a culture of care and responsibility. Stronger communities. And people who mean what they say.

💬 Have you experienced this — either as an organizer or participant? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s open the conversation and grow something better, together.