Why The F... Word Feels Normal and Why It Shouldn't

These days, the F-word has more followers than faith.

When I was a kid growing up in the pine woods of South Georgia, profanity wasn't edgy. It was shameful. Not just inappropriate. Not just frowned upon. But downright shameful.

My grandmother, who raised me with more wisdom in her pinky than most folks find in a whole shelf of books, used to say,

"If someone's throwing around foul words, it's 'cause they ran out of vocabulary."

She'd pause, look you in the eye, and add,

"Only unlearned folks cuss. Those with a good mind use it."

And she meant every word.

In our rural community, a man's character wasn't judged by the size of his house or the model of his truck. It was judged by his word. Your name. Your mouth. What you let come out when the pressure was on.

The "elite," as we called them, didn't swear. The field hands didn't either. Nobody did, not in public, not without consequence.

But that world feels like ancient history now. Somewhere between then and today, we crossed a line we didn’t even know existed.

Today? It's like the F-word got a press agent. You hear it on podcasts, read it in business books, see it printed across T-shirts at "leadership" events. People toss profanity around like it's seasoning. They call it “authentic,” “real,” “raw.”

What’s troubling isn’t just that it’s everywhere. It’s that we’ve stopped noticing. We’ve normalized what once would have disqualified someone from leadership. We’ve rebranded vulgarity as vulnerability and called it progress.

But what it really is... is revealing. And not in the way you think.

When Peter Swore to Separate Himself

Let me take you back to a story you might know. It's about pressure. Identity. And what happens when our words betray our calling.

Jesus, on His way to the cross, looked Peter in the eyes and said, “You’re going to deny me three times before the rooster crows.” Peter puffed up like a bantam rooster. “Never,” he said. “I’ll die before I deny you.”

But when the fire got hot and the questions started flying—“Aren’t you with Jesus?” “Weren’t you one of His?”—Peter buckled. Once, twice, three times.

And the third time? Scripture says he swore. Cursed. Not to save his life, but to separate from Jesus. And Jesus saw it.

Their eyes met. And Peter broke. Scripture doesn't say he wept because he got caught. It says he wept bitterly.

Why? Because he realized something most of us forget: the language he used didn't just deny Christ. It separated him from Christ.

Peter wasn’t using profanity to be rebellious. He was using it to blend in. To signal that he wasn’t different. That he wasn’t set apart.

And today? Christians are doing the same thing. Not to avoid a cross, but to sound more “relatable,” more “real,” more “down to earth.”

What once was a mark of separation is now worn like a badge of authenticity.

When Grit Turned Into Grime

There was a time when grit meant early mornings, handshakes, and keeping your word. It was dirt under the fingernails and honor in the heart. But grit’s been rebranded.

Old Grit: Integrity. Resilience. Quiet strength. New Grit: Volume. Vulgarity. Shock over substance.

Social media rewards noise, not nobility. Podcasts turn shock value into downloads. Coaches tell you to "say it like it is," which apparently means lacing your message with expletives.

Even in faith-adjacent spaces, people shrug it off. "It's just words," they say. "Jesus knows my heart."

Friend, Jesus does know your heart. That’s the problem.

He said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

If your mouth is full of filth, don’t blame your upbringing. Don’t blame your industry. Look in the mirror.

That’s not culture. That’s character. And if profanity keeps flowing, it’s because there’s a leak in your soul.

Your team is watching. Your clients are listening. And they’re forming opinions about your leadership based on the words you choose when you think nobody’s keeping score.

The Southern Sense We've Forgotten

Back home, we used to say, “He’s about as useful as gum on a boot heel.” Or “She’s got her nose so high she could drown in a rainstorm.” We didn’t need four-letter words to make a point.

Even our insults had dignity.

Now? You walk into a business workshop and hear Christian entrepreneurs dropping F-bombs between Bible verses.

Bless your heart... We’ve traded wisdom for branding.

This isn’t about being squeaky clean or walking on eggshells. It’s about knowing that what comes out of your mouth builds the world around you.

And if you’re speaking like the world, don’t be surprised when your business starts drifting like it too.

Culture isn’t built in mission statements or company retreats. It’s built in the everyday moments when pressure reveals character.

What the Research Actually Says

Before someone says I’m being too “spiritual,” let’s look at the data.

A 2021 Harvard Business Review study found that leaders who use profanity in professional settings are perceived as less trustworthy, less emotionally intelligent, and more likely to trigger conflict.

Another study from the University of Arizona showed that frequent profanity in workplace communication decreases psychological safety and increases organizational tension.

You can’t build a legacy with a jackhammer. Legacy takes a trowel, not a sledgehammer.

The Drift from Sacred to Secular

Socrates once said,

“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.”

These days, we work harder on appearing bold than being upright. Profanity has become a shortcut for “authenticity.” But what it really signals is a lack of clarity, conviction, and control.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to “pray without ceasing.” You can’t do that with a dirty mouth. The very breath meant for blessing gets tainted when it shares space with bitterness, crudeness, or flippant speech.

Philippians 4:8 lays it out clearly: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure... think on these things.” Why?

Because what you meditate on shapes your language. And your language shapes your life.

James 3:10 says, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”

Profanity as a Poor Man’s Power Play

Some say, “I only cuss when I’m passionate.” But passion without discipline is just noise.

Others say, “It helps me connect with people.” No. It helps you conform to them.

Still more shrug and say, “It’s just how I talk.” That’s like saying, “I just leave my front door unlocked.” Doesn’t make it wise.

True power doesn’t need to shock. It needs to be rooted.

Look at the mentors you admire. The legacy builders. The faithful warriors. Most of them didn’t curse to make their point. Because they weren’t building platforms. They were building people.

True authority speaks with conviction, clarity, and consistency.

What You Normalize, You Multiply

Language is culture.

If you use profanity to cut through tension, your team will likely follow suit. If you curse when something breaks, so will your staff. If you laugh off expletives, your clients will hear it and adjust their expectations.

You can’t plant thornbushes and expect roses. What you normalize today, you multiply tomorrow.

So ask yourself: is that really the tone you want echoing through the halls when you’re not around?

Legacy isn’t built on what you do. It’s built on what you leave behind. And as a leader, you’re not just responsible for your own words. You’re responsible for the words you make acceptable in others.

Reclaiming Legacy Language

Where do you begin?

Repent. Not in guilt, but in clarity. Recognize that your words matter.

Retrain your tongue. Pay attention to your defaults under pressure. Replace filler with focus.

Revisit your values. If your website says “excellence” but your staff meetings sound like a locker room, something’s off.

Ask for accountability. Find someone who will call you out in love.

Be the example. Your team is watching. Your clients are watching. Even if they aren’t, your future self is.

Legacy is shaped by direction, not perfection.

Final Thoughts and a Challenge

If you’ve read this far, you care about your words more than most. You care about your leadership. You care about building something that lasts.

So here’s my challenge:

Is profanity really necessary?

Is it helping? Is it holy? Is it you?

Or is it just noise you’ve picked up from a culture that forgot the value of restraint?

You're not here to blend in. You're not here to shock or impress.

You're here to build. One word at a time.