Why Your Goals Are Holding You Back (And How to Fix It)

We’ve all heard it before: Set SMART goals. Have a five-year plan. Chase success with relentless ambition. But what if we’ve been looking at achievement the wrong way?

We’re taught that setting big goals leads to success—but what if it does the opposite? Rigid goals can leave us unfulfilled when we reach them and defeated when we don’t, trapping us in a narrow definition of success.

Traditional goal-setting follows a structured path: define an outcome, create a roadmap, and measure success by whether we reach that endpoint. While this works for some, it has notable downsides:

• Achieving a goal but feeling unfulfilled. Think of someone who lands their "dream job" only to realise it’s not what they expected. (I know it's happened to me.)
• The psychological damage of unmet goals. Many athletes experience post-Olympic depression because their identity is tied to a single moment of achievement.
• Sacrificing too much for a goal. We often hear stories of entrepreneurs, artists, and athletes who push themselves to extremes—working long hours, neglecting relationships, or compromising health—only to wonder if the trade-off was worth it.

Rethinking Goals: Flexible Intentions Over Fixed Targets

Instead of rigid goals, what if we adopted a more adaptable approach—one that embraces growth, learning, and evolution rather than fixating on a single endpoint?

• Set objectives without limitations. Instead of viewing goals as destinations, see them as guiding principles that allow room for change. Growth often leads to unexpected but valuable outcomes.
• Shift from goal-setting to identity-building. A person who says, "I want to be a healthier person" is more likely to develop sustainable habits than someone who insists, "I must lose 20 pounds." Anchoring to identity rather than a fixed target creates room for lasting progress.
• Prioritise habits over outcomes. Metallica’s Kirk Hammett never aimed to win Grammys—he simply committed to mastering the guitar every day. Mastery, not external recognition, drove his success.

When we redefine goals this way, they become adaptable and fulfilling rather than rigid and stressful. Consider how shifting from rigid targets to flexible intentions can create a more sustainable and rewarding approach to success:

• "Read 12 books this year" → "Become a more avid reader."
• "Follow a strict diet" → "Develop a nourishing and positive relationship with food."
• "Get promoted in two years" → "Continuously develop skills that make me a valuable leader."

By reframing how we approach achievement, we allow ourselves to evolve, stay open to new opportunities, and measure progress in ways that align with personal fulfillment rather than societal expectations.

Balancing Ambition with Adaptability

How do we stay driven while remaining open to change? The key lies in pursuing growth rather than fixed milestones. Many successful people set out to achieve one thing, only to discover something even better along the way.

Reflecting on my own journey, I’ve realised that life rarely follows a predictable script. Some of my most meaningful opportunities weren’t part of any long-term plan—they emerged because I stayed open to possibilities rather than fixating on rigid goals. By focusing on doing my best in the present, I discovered passions and aspirations I never knew I had. This mindset shift has allowed me to embrace growth with curiosity rather than anxiety, making success feel more authentic and fulfilling.

Ask yourself:

• "Am I chasing a title or true impact?"
• "Is my work energising or draining me?"
• "Am I in pursuit for personal fulfillment or external validation?"

Redefining Success: Measuring Progress Without Goals

Success is often equated with status, wealth, or external validation. But it's time we redefine it.

• Track personal growth rather than milestones. Instead of aiming for promotions, focus on becoming a more skilled, fulfilled professional.
• Chase significance over success. Prioritise making a difference over just checking boxes.
• Focus on how life feels rather than how it looks. External success means little if it doesn’t bring inner fulfillment.

This mindset might seem unconventional in structured fields like business, sports, and education, where clear benchmarks are emphasised. However, many of the most innovative leaders and elite athletes succeed because they remain adaptable—not in spite of it.

By focusing on growth, resilience, and continuous learning, we can pivot, embrace new opportunities, and redefine success beyond rigid expectations.

Final Thoughts: What Does Success Mean to You?

Goals aren’t inherently bad—but they must evolve with you. Rather than fixating on rigid targets, focus on who you want to become and how you want to live.

Take a step back and reconsider what success truly means to you. Experiment with this mindset, and see where it leads. I’m excited for you to discover what’s ahead.