Techniques For Addressing Tensions In Team Dynamics

Do you feel part of a real team? Or are there moments when you feel isolated, uncertain, and disconnected, even though you're surrounded by colleagues? In the early stages of my career, I had the simplistic view that bringing together a bunch of high achievers would naturally create an outstanding team. However, the reality was quite different. Instead of creating synergy, there was noticeable discord. The team didn't seem to gel; it was akin to cogs not aligning in a machine. Every top performer, exceptional in their own right, appeared to follow their own path, often pulling in different directions. The amount of energy and time lost to internal strife was significant, and the expected outcomes? They remained just that – expected. This experience was a clear lesson that the success of a team isn't merely based on individual talent; it's about harmony, alignment, and collaboration. With today’s workplaces being more diverse, widespread, digitized, and ever-changing, achieving this is certainly challenging. So, in my quest to understand the nuances of high-performing teams, I reached out to my friend Hari Haralambiev. As a coach of dev teams who care about people, Hari has worked with numerous tech organizations, guiding them to unlock their teams’ potential. Here are his top 5 tips for developing high performing teams: 1. Be Inclusive ↳Put a structure in place so that the most vocal people don’t suffocate the silent voices. Great teams make sure minority views are heard and taken into account. They make it safe for people to speak up. 2. Leverage Conflict ↳Disagreements should be encouraged and how you handle them is what makes your team poor or great. Great teams mine for conflict - they cherish disagreements. To handle disagreements properly make sure to separate discussion from decision. 3. Decision Making Process ↳Have a clear team decision-making method to resolve conflicts quickly. The most important decision a team should make is how to make decisions. Don’t look for 100% agreement. Look for 100% commitment. 4. Care and Connect ↳This is by far the most important tip. Teams who are oriented only on results are not high-performing. You need to create psychological safety and build trust between people. To do that - focus on actually knowing the other people and to make it safe to be vulnerable in front of others. Say these 4 phrases more often: ‘I don’t know’, ‘I made a mistake’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I need help’. 5. Reward experimentation and risk taking ↳No solution is 100% certain. People should feel safe to take risks and make mistakes. Reward smart failure. Over-communicate that it’s better to take action and take accountability than play it safe. Remember, 'team' isn't just a noun—it's a verb. It requires ongoing effort and commitment to work at it, refine it, and nurture it. Do give Hari a follow and join over 6K+ professionals who receive his leadership comics in his newsletter A Leader’s Tale.

Stop dreading tough talks. Master them with these 21 phrases instead: I once snapped when a colleague questioned my timeline. My defensive reaction created a week of tension. That day I realized emotional responses solve nothing. They only create new problems. We've all been there: Feeling defensive Reacting without thinking Watching a simple disagreement turn into a lasting conflict But I've learned the shift from reactive to constructive changes everything ✨ 21 ways smart people handle difficult conversations: 1) Lead with Curiosity ↳ "Tell me more about your perspective on this" ↳ Questions defuse tension faster than statements 2) Name the Energy ↳ "I notice there's tension here, let's address it" ↳ Acknowledgment creates safety 3) Find Common Ground ↳ "We both want what's best for the project" ↳ Alignment before action 4) Set Clear Expectations ↳ "Here's what I need, what do you need?" ↳ Clarity prevents future conflict 5) Pause the Escalation ↳ "Let's take a step back and break this down" ↳ Breathing room creates solutions 6) Mirror Their Language ↳ Use their exact key words when responding ↳ Matching builds instant connection 7) Acknowledge Impact ↳ "I see how this affects your priorities" ↳ Understanding beats defense 8) Own Your Part ↳ "Here's where I could have done better" ↳ Accountability creates trust 9) Focus Forward ↳ "How can we prevent this next time?" ↳ Solutions beat blame 10) Check Understanding ↳ "Here's what I'm hearing - am I getting it right?" ↳ Clarity prevents escalation 11) Create Space ↳ "Let's revisit this when we're both fresh" ↳ Time transforms tension 12) Stay on Topic ↳ "Let's focus on solving this specific issue" ↳ Boundaries keep talks productive 13) Express Confidence ↳ "I know we can figure this out together" ↳ Belief shifts energy 14) Share Context ↳ "Here's what led to my decision" ↳ Understanding reduces resistance 15) Invite Solutions ↳ "What ideas do you have for this?" ↳ Collaboration beats control 16) Set Timelines ↳ "When should we check in on this?" ↳ Structure creates safety 17) Validate Concerns ↳ "That's a legitimate worry - let's address it" ↳ Recognition reduces defense 18) Stay Factual ↳ "Here's what the data shows us" ↳ Evidence beats emotion 19) Close with Action ↳ "Let's clarify next steps together" ↳ Progress prevents repeat issues 20) Follow Through ↳ "As we discussed, here's what I've done" ↳ Action builds credibility 21) Document Growth ↳ "Here's how we'll work differently now" ↳ Learning beats repeating Difficult conversations aren't obstacles to success. They're the moments where true connection happens ✨ Which strategy will you try in your next challenging conversation? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network transform difficult conversations into opportunities 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more practical tools to succeed with confidence

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

The #1 killer of teams isn't failure. It's how you handle conflict. Understanding these 4 behaviors—and their antidotes—has saved me millions of dollars and countless hours of pain. In the 1990s, Dr. John Gottman identified “The Four Horsemen,” destructive behaviors that predict divorce with 91% accuracy. From my experience, these same behaviors destroy company cultures, teams, and break up partnerships. Here’s what they are—and how to counteract them: 1️⃣ Criticism Sounds like: "You’re selfish; you never think of others.” ✅ Antidote: Use “I” statements to focus on the issue. Example: “I feel out of the loop when I don’t know project updates. Can we align better next time?” 2️⃣ Contempt Sounds like: “Cry me a river. I’m dealing with bigger priorities than your issues.” ✅ Antidote: Build a culture of appreciation. Highlight strengths and express gratitude regularly. 3️⃣ Defensiveness Sounds like: “I was busy! Why didn’t you handle it?” ✅ Antidote: Take responsibility. Accept feedback, and apologize when needed. 4️⃣ Stonewalling Sounds like: “Silence” (Shutting down and withdrawing during conflict) ✅ Antidote: Practice self-soothing. Take a break to calm emotions, then return to the discussion. Conflict is inevitable. How you handle it determines your success. Master these antidotes to foster trust and build resilient teams. What is your favorite approach to managing conflict skillfully? Let me know in the comments. 👇 ♻️ Repost this to share with anyone looking to improve having crucial conversations. And follow Matt Schnuck for more!

I used to lose sleep over team conflicts. I'm a natural people-pleaser. I'd do anything to keep the peace. But after 20+ years in leadership, I learned something crucial: The best teams aren't conflict-free— They're conflict-SMART. Here are 5 things every manager needs to know: 1/ The People-Pleaser's Paradox ↳ Being liked feels safe ↳ But avoiding conflict hurts your team ↳ Leadership requires comfort with discomfort 2/ Task vs. Relationship Conflict ↳ Task conflict = Productive disagreement about work ↳ Relationship conflict = Personal friction that kills teams ↳ Know the difference, encourage the first 3/ The Hidden Cost of Avoidance ↳ Teams who dodge conflict build resentment ↳ Small issues become major disruptions ↳ Every week you wait multiplies the recovery time 4/ Your Conflict Management Toolkit ↳ Schedule regular 1:1s to catch issues early ↳ Use "I noticed..." statements instead of accusations ↳ Create structured debate spaces in meetings 5/ When to Step In (And When Not To) ↳ Let task conflicts play out (with boundaries) ↳ Step in immediately for personal attacks ↳ Coach team members to address peer conflicts directly Being comfortable with conflict isn't about being aggressive. It's about creating safety for honest conversations. What's your biggest challenge in handling team conflict? Share below 👇 (Swipe ➡️ for the visual carousel version) — ♻️ Repost to help other leaders build stronger teams ➕ Follow me (Chris Laping for more leadership truths

Do you Avoid Conflict? If you're a leader looking to build trust and strengthen relationships in your team, don't overlook the power of effective conflict resolution. When conflicts are managed well, it creates an environment where people feel heard and valued. Here are some key points based on my experience: 1. Open Dialogue: Encourage team members to openly express their concerns. This creates an environment of trust and transparency. 2. Active Listening: Make sure everyone involved in the conflict feels heard. This reduces tension and makes resolution easier. 3. Win-Win Solutions: Look for outcomes that benefit all parties, reinforcing the idea that the team is working towards common goals. 4. Address Issues Early: Tackling conflicts sooner rather than later prevents them from festering and becoming bigger issues. 5. Follow Through: After a resolution has been found, follow up to ensure that the agreed-upon actions are being taken. 6. Be Neutral: As a leader, stay impartial. Taking sides can erode trust and break down team dynamics. 7. Offer Training: Sometimes, conflicts arise from misunderstandings or lack of soft skills. Offering training can mitigate future conflicts. By investing time in conflict resolution, you're also investing in relationship building, which leads to better teamwork, higher morale, and a more productive work environment. "Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." - Ronald Reagan Turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and unity in your team. #ConflictResolution #TeamBuilding #Leadership

A recent post about Project Aristotle, our study on team effectiveness at Google, brought back a key personal learning. In that work, psychological safety, as defined and deeply researched by Amy Edmondson, emerged as the single most important factor behind team success. A key aspect of psychological safety is creating an environment where it’s safe to disagree. When we talk about conflict on teams, we often think in terms of “more” or “less.” But that framing is incomplete. What matters just as much as the presence of conflict is the quality of it. Here’s a 2x2 I find helpful, inspired by the work of Liane Davey, Priya Parker and Kim Scott. For me, the most insidious quadrant here is unhealthy peace, where surface-level harmony conceals deeper dysfunction. It often feels like saying “Sure, that works” even when your inner voice is saying “this doesn’t sit right.” You see avoidable mistakes happen. You may be in the room physically but are checked out mentally. Healthy conflict feels very different. You can disagree openly while still feeling like you belong. You walk out of a hard conversation with more clarity and more trust. You experience being stretched and challenged in a way that sharpens you and your team. So how do you know where you stand? Here are a few reflection cues that are helpful: -- Am I holding back because I want to be thoughtful, or because I’m afraid? -- Do I leave hard conversations feeling like something real got said? -- If I disagree with someone in power, do I trust they’ll listen? Like any muscle, the ability to engage in healthy conflict takes practice: -- You have to start with curiosity: “Can you help me understand how you got there?” -- You need to muster courage to name the discomfort: “This is hard to talk about, but I think it matters” -- Reflect after the disagreement: Did we learn? Did we grow? It’s one thing to have healthy conflict with peers. It’s much harder when there’s a power gap and when the person across from you controls your ratings, promotions, or future opportunities. That’s why leadership role modeling matters. If leaders don’t create environments where disagreement can be surfaced safely, they are setting their teams back. Make it easier for others to be both brave and heard -- that's the kind of leadership I've aspired to.

Great PMMs are great communicators. Yet, I've noticed many PMMs shy away from directly communicating issues/conflicts. So here is my 3-step approach to communicating conflicts: Granted, no one likes to confront others or share negative feedback. Earlier in my career, I did everything possible to skirt the problem. But that just led to simmered frustrations and resentment, creating a distrustful work environment for everyone. This is why direct communication is so important: ✅ Open, honest conversations build trust. Sharing difficult things shows our vulnerability. Doing the opposite—burying the problem or talking behind people’s backs—leads to distrust and a breakdown in psychological safety. ✅Constructive feedback is essential for personal and professional development, no matter how uncomfortable. We miss opportunities to grow and improve when we avoid giving or receiving it. This is also an essential leadership skill. ✅ Small issues can turn into significant roadblocks if not addressed. Direct communication can help dispel any misunderstandings quickly and help put the team first. ❓ So how do you confront issues directly the next time you feel someone stole your credit, the product team is keeping you in the dark, or something else? 1️⃣ Focus on the problem and not the person. Before approaching a conversation, take time to organize your thoughts. Focus on specific behaviors or outcomes you observed rather than personal attributes, and stick to the facts. 2️⃣ Choose the right time and place: Timing is everything. You can find a private and neutral setting where you can speak openly without distractions or interruptions. I recommend doing this in a 1-1, after the event has passed a bit (but don’t wait so long that the momentum is lost), so everyone can objectively reflect back on the incident. 3️⃣ Practice active listening: Approach the conversation with empathy and be ready to listen. Be open and ready to receive feedback in turn. Understanding the other person’s perspective can help you reach a mutually beneficial solution. Here is to better communications! What has worked well for you? P.S. The image is of the amazing Liz Fosslien! #productmarketing #growth #career #coaching