Addressing Power Dynamics in Online Negotiations

Deal or No Deal? Have you ever found yourself in a negotiation where the person you were negotiating with was the "good cop" and the "bad cop" was never directly involved in the conversations? I find this convenient trick to be one that many leaders use to avoid direct conflict in having the tough conversations around deal terms. It's so much easier to blame the CEO or the Board or the Owner who aren't ever in the room. But here’s the thing—if the decision-maker is never actually present, are you even negotiating with the right person? I’ve seen this tactic used time and time again to delay, deflect, or pressure the other party into accepting less favorable terms. It creates an artificial power dynamic where the “good cop” seems reasonable while the unseen “bad cop” remains an immovable force in the background. So how do you handle it? 1.  𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁. Politely ask, “What would it take to get the real decision-maker in the room?” If they keep dodging, you know where you stand. 2.  𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀. If you’re negotiating with someone who doesn’t have full authority, clarify that your final concessions won’t be made until you’re speaking with the right person. 3.  𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘆. If they’re playing the “bad cop is unavailable” game, take your time too. Don’t let them rush you into bad terms while they hide behind hierarchy. At the end of the day, real deals get done when both sides come to the table prepared to make real decisions. If you find yourself negotiating with someone who always needs to “check with someone else,” you might not have a real deal on the table—just a runaround. Deal or no deal? You decide. #scalingwellness

You walk into a meeting expecting collaboration, only to realize you have been ambushed. The other party tries to intimidate and humiliate you, making you feel inferior and vulnerable to pressure you into accepting a deal far worse than you anticipated. What can you do to avoid a humiliating outcome? These are some negotiation tools that you can use to turn the table: 💡 #EmotionalIntelligence: be aware of your emotions . There is no room for despair or anger, control your state to stay in the game. 🔍 Curiosity: genuine curiosity about the other party's emotions, needs and expectations shifts the power dynamic. People want to be understood. Listen beyond their words, what are they really asking for? 🗣️ Labelling: name emotions to defuse them: "It sounds like your top priority is somewhere else" or "it seems like you are dealing with a lot of external pressure" can lower their defenses and encourage collaboration 🔄 Mirroring: repeat key words to let them feel heard and encourage more disclosure : "Holding the cards?" 🎭 Accusation Audits: as #ChrisVoss teaches, address unspoken concerns upfront: "I know you may see me as ungrateful, always asking for more without giving back ...."  🎯 Powerful Questions: use open ended How, What, When questions to create dialogue and encourage collaboration. For instance, this can be used to co-create the conversation shifting from opposition to collaboration by acknowledging their perspective "What would a successful outcome look like for both of us?" Rather than viewing the #negotiation as a battle, approach it as an opportunity to build something together. When both sides feel heard, unexpected solutions emerge. If you were in Zelensky’s position, how would you have handled the negotiation? #listening #communication #leadership

They thought they had no choice. That’s why they almost gave in. I was in the room when it happened. A client (let’s call them Pollocks Pipelay) had been working with the same supplier for years. Solid relationship, reliable service. But one day, the supplier walked in and said: "𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙮 𝟯𝟬%. 𝙉𝙤𝙣-𝙣𝙚𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚." Immediate silence and panic. They needed this supplier - They started calculating how to absorb the cost - There was no backup - No safety net Then I asked the team: "𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠?" Nobody had an answer! I aimed to shift their view from fear to power Most negotiators consider a Fallback Plan (BATNA) a concept The best negotiators 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙚 it. - We took a step back - We mapped the fundamental alternatives - We found a smaller but reliable European supplier Was it perfect? No Was it good enough to remove the fear of walking away? Absolutely At the next meeting, Pollocks Pipelay didn’t beg for a price adjustment Instead, they confidently said: "𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠" You should have seen the supplier’s face The power dynamic instantly flipped: - Pollocks Pipelay secured better payment terms - The supplier dropped their price increase entirely - They knew they’d never be backed into a corner again I see this mistake constantly. Smart professionals walking into negotiations without a strategic fallback plan → 85% of negotiators lack a strong fallback plan →Those who anchor first with a solid BATNA secure deals 26% closer to their goals →Having a fallback plan reduces bad deals by 40% while preserving relationships Yet so many people still fear walking away. Make your Fallback Plan your power move 1️⃣ Before the negotiation: Identify at least two real alternatives. Don’t rely on assumptions. Map your ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement). Study their BATNA—what are their options if you walk? 2️⃣ During the negotiation: Signal strength (“We’re weighing options, but I’d like to find common ground”) Stay flexible—adjust if new information emerges. 3️⃣ After the negotiation: Document what worked. Refine your BATNA for next time. The Best Negotiators Don’t Fear Walking Away—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗦𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀. Don't be aggressive in negotiations. Just know your worth and your options. Think about your negotiations. Do you have a Fallback Plan? Or just hope for the best? Have you ever been in a deal where you felt trapped but found a way out? Or maybe you’ve walked away, and later realized it was the best move you could’ve made? Drop your story in the comments. Let’s talk about how having (or not having) a fallback plan (BATNA) changed your outcome.

You're misjudging your negotiation power    Here's how to fix it You’ll learn how to assess and shift negotiation power before you sit down at the table. I’ve spent 30 years training negotiators globally. Most never assess power well, because they never define their BATNA or estimate their counterpart’s BATNA. Most negotiators fail twice. First, they walk in blind to the balance of power. Unsure if they’re strong or weak. They haven’t defined their BATNA. They haven’t estimated the other side’s. So they misjudge who actually holds leverage. Second, they don’t shift the balance of power. They don’t strengthen their own options. They don’t weaken (ethically) the other side’s. They just hope. And that’s why deals fall apart. Or worse, they say yes to something they’ll regret. Here’s what smart negotiators do: ✅ Assess the balance, honestly.  Ask: What can I do if I walk away? What can they do if I walk? ✅ Work the BATNAs.  A fallback isn’t just a Plan B; it’s leverage. Make it real. Make it strong. ✅ Shift the power.  Can you delay? Bring in a competitor? Limit their options?  You don’t need to bluff, you need to design. Power isn’t a feeling. It’s not charisma or status. It’s structure. Power isn’t claimed. It’s constructed. Which part is harder for you, assessing the balance or shifting it? Save this post for your next high-stakes negotiation. ♻️ Share if this helped you see power differently.