Networking Strategies for Introverts

Most people freeze when they want to reach out to someone influential. Here’s the 5-step formula I’ve used to connect with the CEO of Scribe, the co-founder of Leland, the content team at Notion, and even creators I admire 👇 1. Follow first. Connect later. Don’t just hit “connect.” Follow them, spend a few weeks learning from their content and activity. Be a quiet observer. 2. Find your entry point. Look for a personal connection - a post you loved, a campaign you admired, a shared background, a comment thread you can join. 3. Create context. Once you find something specific, DM them with a message that shows: → You’ve done your homework → Why this moment made you want to connect → What you admire or learned from them 4. Make the ask polite + specific. Don’t write paragraphs. Respect their time. Example: “Would love to ask you 1 question about your work at [company] – totally okay if now’s not a good time!” 5. Nurture the connection. Even if they don’t reply, keep engaging with their content. Most of my opportunities came weeks after my first message. This method helped me land internships, collaborations, interviews, and lifelong mentors. Try this 5-step system and tell me what worked. #linkedin #network #tips

How do you network when you’re an introvert? This is a question I get a LOT. The truth is, I’m an introvert through and through. Networking, speaking, etc. Those were all SCARY uncomfortable for me early on. But, like any skill, I got better with practice. Here’s how: 1. I Focused On Quality Over Quantity Instead of going to career fairs, meet ups, or blasting out connections to anyone and everyone... I focused on a few people who were doing what I wanted to do. People I genuinely wanted to connect with and meet. 2. I Engaged On My Terms At first, I was terrified of meeting a stranger for coffee (let alone a group of people). So I engaged where I was comfortable - virtually, in a 1:1 environment. I spent a lot of time commenting on posts and building relationships online / via email before having that in-person convo (or Zoom). 3. I Focused On My Feelings & Used Them In My Approach I paid attention to what I was feeling before, during, and after connecting with people. I realized that I got anxiety beforehand, I was super energized during, & exhausted after. Based on that, I made a point to limit myself to a certain number of networking convos each week and made sure I had time to recharge in between. That helped me minimize the stress and maximize the reward!

𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭. I knew I should do it, dreaded every minute of it, and avoided it whenever I could. The word itself felt transactional. As an introvert, the small talk and the exchange of business cards felt overwhelming. I went through the motions, but I never enjoyed it. Then one day, I changed how I approached it. I realized that the way I thought about networking shaped how I experienced it. If you see it as a chore, it will always feel like one. But if you see it as an opportunity to connect, to be helpful, or to learn something new, it becomes energizing. Not the kind of connection where you forget someone’s name a week later, but the kind where you remember their story. Now, when I walk into a room, I think about how I can be useful. I ask better questions. I follow up. I try to help people without expecting anything in return. 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲: 1. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 Boz, one of my former managers, used to say to build bridges in peacetime. Don’t wait until you need something to reach out. One of the strongest connections I have came from someone who helped me find a caregiver for my mom. Years later, I was able to refer him to three contacts, all of whom offered him jobs. We built trust before either of us needed anything. 2. 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 At each company I worked at, I saw this again and again. The people who reached out, did their homework, asked thoughtful questions, and demonstrated curiosity stood out. A resume rarely tells the full story. Just like colleges look for demonstrated interest, companies do too. 3. 𝐓𝐚𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬 Many roles are never posted. At startups especially, hiring is often opportunistic. If someone great comes referred, they usually get a closer look. Let people know what you are looking for. You never know who is keeping a mental list for future openings. 4. 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 The world is smaller than you realize. I’ve received backchannel calls before a candidate even formally applied. I’ve also seen offers fall apart because of what someone shared off the record. What people say about you when you are not in the room matters. Are you known as someone who gives or someone who takes? Real connection is rarely convenient. It takes time. It takes intention. But it is often the difference between staying stuck and moving forward. So the next time you are tempted to opt out of that conversation, call, or coffee, ask yourself this: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠?

In my early career, I thought networking was all about building as many connections as possible. But I quickly learned that effective networking isn't about the quantity of your connections—it's about the quality. Throughout my career, the connections that have truly made a difference weren’t the ones where I just asked for help—they were the ones where I made it easy for others to want to help me. If you want to make others genuinely want to help you, it’s crucial to move beyond simply asking for favors. Instead, focus on creating value and building relationships where both parties benefit. So, how can you do the same? Here are four tactical tips to help you network effectively: ✅ Do Your Homework Before reaching out, research the person or company you’re interested in. Understand their work, challenges, and how you can add value. For instance, instead of asking a connection for job leads, do your own research first. Identify specific roles and companies you’re targeting, and then ask if they can help with an introduction. This approach shows initiative and respect for their time. ✅ Be Specific in Your Ask Whether you’re asking for an introduction, advice, or a referral, be clear and concise about what you need. For example, instead of asking, “Do you know anyone hiring?” say, “I noticed [Company Name] is looking for a [Role]. Would you be open to introducing me to [Person]? I’m happy to send you my resume and a brief write-up you can pass along, too.” This shows that you’ve taken the initiative and makes it easier for your contact to say yes. ✅ Offer Mutual Value When requesting a meeting or advice, frame it as a two-way conversation. Instead of saying, “Can I pick your brain?” try something like, “I’d love to exchange ideas on [specific topic] and share some strategies that have worked for me.” This not only makes your request more compelling but also positions you as someone who brings value to the table. ✅ Follow Up with Gratitude After someone has helped you, don’t just say thank you and disappear. Keep them in the loop on how their help made an impact. Whether you got the job, secured the meeting, or just had a great conversation, let them know. This closes the loop and makes them more inclined to help you in the future. Your network is one of your greatest assets—nurture it well, and it will be there for you when you need it most. What’s one networking tip that’s helped you build stronger connections? *** 📧 Want more tips like these? Join Career Bites - free weekly bite-sized tips to supercharge your career in 3 minutes or less: lorraineklee.com/subscribe 📖 You can also get behind-the-scenes stories, updates, and special gifts for my upcoming book Unforgettable Presence: lorraineklee.com/book

Someone said "You should teach a transition class at events like these" while at the Air & Space Forces Association annual event in DC yesterday I explained that I have done that before...but attendance at these major events typically fell into 2x buckets: 1 - many of the senior leaders attending weren't even thinking about their transition, so they focused on talking with friends, attending events & industry engagement 2 - the ones in their transition window were hell-bent focused on "finding a job" by going to pitch themselves to every major defense contractor in attendance #quinnsights Going to these booths and saying "I'm the ...." doesn't tell them anything about what you want or can do Companies don't come to these major events to hire (they come to sell and form partnerships) And that events like these (AFA & AUSA) don't typically "get you a job" They give you an entry point (someone to speak to & maybe build a relationship) #militarytransition But the key to every event is FOLLOW UP What should you do? 1 - connect with them on LinkedIn every time Show them your QR code right there and wait for their connection request to come through (sneaky way to ensure they do) 2 - Go into My Network each night and look at your newest connections They are organized chronologically, so they will all be people from the event 3 - Send them a quick note on LinkedIn saying how great it was to meet them at (insert event name) and that you would love to stay in touch for advice This locks in that you met face-to-face in their Inbox...always leaving a reminder there in case either side reaches out (not a cold pitch) 4 - Make a networking spreadsheet that tracks the people you met AND who responded For the ones that responded, asked some simple questions or for a short advice phone call, if appropriate For the ones that didn't - send an additional follow up message one week later to thank them again and add a short easy question (they'll be back from the event & likely have more time) #militarytransition Once you get to the calls, ask questions to learn and listen more than talk to find your success Questions? Is there anything you would add? And will I see you at the AUSA Fireside Chat/Transition Panel on Tuesday Oct 15 from 1300-1500 in Rm 147A/B in the Washington Convention Center?

Are networking events really built for everyone? If you’re an introvert like me, typical networking events can feel chaotic and overwhelming—more of a noisy crowd than a space to forge real connections. But here’s a powerful alternative: host your own networking event. It might sound counterintuitive, but when you’re in control, you can design a setting that actually fosters meaningful connections, tailored to your comfort and style. ➡ Rethink the format ⬅ Many networking events are designed by extroverts, for extroverts, creating a noisy, impersonal environment. ➡ Curate the experience ⬅ Hosting your own event allows you to shape it to suit your style—whether that’s a small group or a quieter venue. ➡ Foster meaningful connections ⬅ By setting up an environment that lets you and your guests get to know each other better, you create space for genuine relationships. ➡ Add value for attendees ⬅ When you plan the guest list and share information in advance, people can come prepared and get more from the experience. When we take the initiative to build our own spaces, we’re not just networking; we’re building communities that fit us. #networking #strategy #careers

Hardest part about networking is figuring out how to strike up a conversation with the person you want to talk to without it feeling awkward, contrived, or thirsty. My go-to strategy? Ask good questions. And listen more than you talk. A few ways to go about this… 1. Find commonality. Maybe they went to your alma mater, or you both worked at the same company for a period of time. They may share mutual disdain for a competitor (nothing bonds like hatred), or can relate to some of your experiences. Like sports, people often bond over things they can complain about. 2. Show reverence and curiosity. “Hey, I’m a fan of your work on XYZ, that must have been an incredible project to work on…” 3. Look for an easy in. Grab them a beer if they’re running low. If they’re talking to someone you know, seize the moment to get a friendly introduction but don’t overstay your welcome. 4. Lead with humor. Not stand up comedy, just a quick quip to clear the air: “Love your LinkedIn content! I read it more than my emails.” Just think about how you’d want to be approached. You don't have to come prepared, but you do need to be engaging and authentic. 

I’m an introvert.  Socially awkward.  And I hate small talk. I will feel stressed for weeks before attending a conference even though I already know half the people attending! I also hate the word networking. Networking implies I have to ask for help, engage in small talk (which I’m terrible at), and ask questions that feel forced and self-serving. No wonder it has that icky feeling. But, let me tell you what I have found I love: - Supporting other people.  - Cheering them on.  - Encouraging them.  - Sharing what I know with them.  - Adding my own thoughts to the conversation.  - Learning something new from other people. I easily do this on LinkedIn every day by simply commenting on other people’s posts. My network consists of colleagues in my industry (other career experts) and job seekers (the people I serve). That kindness of supporting their content increases their visibility on the platform and my visibility on the platform. It benefits us both. And, when you repeatedly show up, people start recognizing your name and your face. They appreciate your support of their work. Eventually, they will reciprocate and support what you post. I can’t tell you how many colleague relationships I’ve developed this way with people I would have otherwise never met. All of this comes from simple kindness. Taking 10 minutes of my day to say, “I see you, I value your work, and I appreciate what you’re doing.” If commenting seems overwhelming, start small. Find 3–5 experts in your field, and comment on their posts 3 days a week. Keep this up until you’re comfortable expanding your circle. #LinkedInTopVoices #networking #careers

I often hear from introverts that they struggle to make an impact at work without seeming pushy or inauthentic. The good news: you don't need to become an extrovert to earn respect. Did you know that 82% of our workplace impressions are based on warmth and competence? That means, how you present yourself - your body language, tone, and word choice - matters more than how much you talk. After coaching countless introverted professionals, I've identified 3 tactical approaches that transform how they're perceived: 1. Make a good impressions through physical presence Stand or sit with shoulders back and chest slightly open. This "postural expansion" not only signals confidence to others but actually makes you feel more confident internally. Make strong eye contact, smile warmly, and use a firm handshake or clear greeting: "Hi [Name], great to see you!" This combination of warmth and competence creates immediate respect. 2. Contribute early in group settings Aim to say something within the first 5-10 minutes of any meeting. It doesn't need to be groundbreaking—a thoughtful question or brief comment works: "I appreciate [Name]'s point about X. I think it connects to Y." When you do speak, use downward inflection at the end of your sentences. Instead of "I think this approach might work?" say "I think this approach might work." The difference is subtle but powerful. 3. Leverage the spotlight effect Most people are too focused on themselves to scrutinize you (this is the spotlight effect). Use this knowledge to redirect attention by asking about others: "What's been the most exciting part of your project lately?" This takes pressure off you while making colleagues feel valued - building connection and respect simultaneously. ____ The truth is, getting respect doesn’t mean being the loudest in the room. It's about being intentional with your presence and creating moments of genuine interaction. These small adjustments have massive impact. Which one will you try first?

Think about the last time someone brought up a detail you'd mentioned weeks ago, like your weekend hiking trip or your daughter's recital. That spark of recognition that makes you feel valued. New research from the University of Aberdeen reveals something we intuitively know but rarely leverage in our professional relationships: demonstrating that you remember specific details someone shared with you is just as effective at making them feel important as explicitly saying "Your thoughts matter." We have this powerful relationship tool right at our fingertips which we use with ease in our personal connections, yet we often forget to use it professionally. When we reference past conversations, we're saying "what you shared mattered enough for me to remember"—and that message resonates deeply. Here are seven moments when flexing your memory muscle transforms professional relationships: 1. When giving constructive feedback: "Remember when you mentioned wanting to develop presentation skills after that March client meeting? Here's how this project could help..." 2. During performance reviews: "You shared six months ago that you wanted more cross-functional collaboration. I've noticed how you've actively sought those opportunities..." 3. When offering support: "I know your team was struggling with that software implementation. How did the training session go?" 4. During follow-ups: "Last time we talked, you were considering that leadership course. Did you enroll?" 5. When delegating: "This reminds me of that process improvement idea you pitched in January. Want to take the lead?" 6. During check-ins: "How's your son's soccer season? Last time they were heading into playoffs." 7. When introducing colleagues: "Sarah, meet Tom. He shares your passion for making sourdough!" But what if your memory feels like Swiss cheese? (Asking for myself at 53!) The good news is you don't need perfect recall. Try jotting down a quick note after meaningful conversations in your phone, calendar, or CRM. Even a simple "mentioned daughter's graduation" can transform your next interaction. The effort to remember matters as much as the remembering itself. Here are the key takeaways: *Memory displays equal explicit value statements in making people feel appreciated *We underuse this strategy professionally while using it naturally in personal contexts *Small remembered details create big emotional connections *Perfect memory isn't required (phew!); notes and systems work just as well Your memory (with a little help) might just be your most underused relationship-building superpower. #relationships #coaching #leadership