Respect: How to lead at Any Level

How to Lead
at Any LevelRESPECT
Copyright Caswell Corporate Coaching Company
Adapted from the CCCC Practical MBA

 Leadership is about convincing and motivating people to
cooperate in a course of action
 Leadership applies to every interaction you have with other
people
 Up, down or with your peers
LEADERSHIP

 Bad/Lazy leadership
avoids the effort involved
in convincing and
motivating others
 It is based on cooperation
by fear “Do what I say or
else …”
 It relies on employment
contracts, social norms,
status, position or authority
 These inhibit the follower
from exercising the choice
to cooperate or not
 It is inherently disrespectful
of others
 Lazy leaders don’t care
about the ideas of others.
BAD LEADERSHIP

 Without cooperation, leadership is impotent, pointless and
foolish
 “I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a
thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time.” (Neil Gaiman)
COOPERATION

 Cooperation makes things
work. Lack of cooperation
makes things fail
 We are a company of people
cooperating towards a
shared mission/vision
 Working in cooperation, we
can move mountains!
COOPERATION

 Understand it
 Why do people cooperate?
 What prevents people from cooperating?
 Learn how to foster and strengthen it
 How can you as a leader make people cooperate?
 How can you get the most cooperation from people?
BUILDING COOPERATION

 Because they choose to
 Seems like a truism but it is important to recognize that cooperation
is a choice, not an obligation
 Because humans are wired to help
 It is in our nature to cooperate because cooperation helps us survive
 We are rewarded by the positive experience
WHY DO PEOPLE COOPERATE?

 People don’t cooperate when they feel threatened
 Misunderstandings
 Insults
 Lack of clarity
 Defensive body language
 Negative tone of voice
 Posturing
 Rank or hierarchy
 Things that are different than expected
 It doesn’t take much
WHY DO PEOPLE NOT COOPERATE?

 When attacked, threatened – we react fast
 Don’t think, MOVE!
 Our brains are wired this way
 Brain 1: don’t think, just react
 Brain 1: Logic – takes a lazy back seat most of the time
 Negative emotions jump to the fore
 Brain 1 triggers a host of physiological changes
 Prepares for fight or flight
 Fear, anger
SURVIVAL IS CRITICAL

 The biggest computer in the world!
 A movie of your life with:
 Pictures
 Sound
 Smells
 Emotions
 Thoughts arise out of Brain One without our knowing it:
 How did you know where to come for this meeting?
 How did you recognize the person across the table?
 What is 2+2?
 Remembering something you saw 20 years ago
BRAIN 1: THE COMPUTER

 Loaded with all your accumulated experience
 One look and you know if its good
 One look and you know if its ready
 One look and you know if it has value
 One look and you make a judgement
 Forms an answer in a fraction of a second
 About things we know
 Draws on our immense brain power
 We don’t have to sift through a bunch of files
 The answer just pops out when we need it

 Isn’t always reliable
 We don’t know what we don’t know
 Forms and answer with the flimsiest information
 Stereotypes get applied with no basis in fact
 The son is like the father
 All people from that tribe behave the same
 Finds patterns and connections that don’t exist
 Tries to connect the dots and convinces us that it has the right
answer
 “I have a pretty good intuition about these things.”
 “I can’t explain it, just trust me on this."

 Trust me
 It intentionally convinces us that we are right even when we do not
know we are right
 We ignore details, convinced that we understand the “big picture”.
But details can matter a lot.
 We are blind to our errors!
 Why?

 We are wired to react in order to survive
 Mouse vs snake
 Bricks falling from a building
 Screeching brakes
 Amygdala of Brain 1 is 100 times faster than logic of Brain 2
 A strong emotional and physical response to a threat
 The speed of reaction is critical to survival in a chaotic world
SURVIVAL IS CRITICAL

 The clunky logic processor
 Brain 2 is lazy
 Brain 2 prefers that Brain 1 does all the work
 Brain 2 is willing to ignore details if Brain 1 has a reasonable
answer
BRAIN 2: LOGIC

 Example:
 Steve is a very shy and withdrawn, invariably helpful but with very
little interest in people or the world.
 A meek and tidy soul, he has a need for order and structure and a
passion for detail.
 Is Steve more likely to be a librarian or a farmer?
BRAIN 2 WORKING WITH BRAIN 1

 Is Steve more likely to be a librarian or a farmer?
 Brain One quickly associates the characteristics of Steve as similar
to many librarians.
 Brain Two is not called on, so it leaves well enough alone.
 However, some people will pause and reflect
 i.e. call upon Brain Two
 Brain Two will say that farmers outnumber librarians 100 to 1, so on
any probability scale, Steve is more likely to be a farmer.
AND BRAIN TWO WILL BE RIGHT.

 Brain 1 often fails so try to answer the following questions
with logic instead. Is Brain 2 being lazy?

How many animals of each kind did Moses take
into the Ark?
ANSWER WITH LOGIC

Pick up a scarf with one end in each hand. Now tie a
knot in the scarf without letting go of the ends. Can
you do it?
ANSWER WITH LOGIC

A bat and ball cost ₦1100 and the difference between
them is ₦1000. How much does each cost?
ANSWER WITH LOGIC

Lily pads on a lake double their area each day. They
cover the lake in 48 days. How long do they take to
cover half the lake?
ANSWER WITH LOGIC

It takes 5 machines 5 minutes to make 5 widgets. How
long does it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets?
ANSWER WITH LOGIC

 If we have a great concern, Brain 1 invokes Brain 2. In that
case it is Brain 2 that can let us down.
 We begin with a great idea (from Brain 1) and are about to institute
it, but we have some ‘nagging’ concerns.
 So we invoke Brain 2 to think it through.
 But many times, this slows the process down or even halts a good
idea or action from ever happening – Analysis Paralysis
BRAIN2 WORKING AGAINST BRAIN 1

 Why we have lost is because Brain 1 drew on not just an idea,
but thousands if not millions bits of data residing in your
brain. Brain 2, however, was trying to sort it all out – but that
is not possible for our Brain 1’s processing is far too complex.
 The challenge is to know if Brain One is working from
knowledge or merely connecting dots.
 Example: Athletes lose ability to play because they are ‘over-
thinking’.
 “Just play your game”, says the Coach.
BRAIN2 WORKING AGAINST BRAIN 1

 We are susceptible to systematic error
 We don’t know it and we won’t believe it despite all the evidence
around us every day
 We live in a world where passion leads more than logic
 Just look at the stories in the newspaper
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

 Poor decisions
 Can you point out
 Dumb decisions in TCN, TSP or your department?
 Dumb decisions in politics?
 Dumb decisions regarding professional athletes?
 We will have poor decisions unless we introduce some forced
logic into the process
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

 Emotions trump logic
 Emotions always dominated because survival must always dominate
 Emotions are natural, largely uncontrollable human dimension
 Cooperation stops or is reduced in the face of protective emotions
THE GREATEST MANAGEMENT SECRET

 Neutralize “natural” defensive emotions if we are to cooperate
more
 There are specific things we can do:
 Be aware and think about your reactions to every situation
 Learn how to diffuse emotions and get back to the logic phase
 Stop blaming and criticizing which only stirs up emotions
 In short – use respect
FOSTERING COOPERATION THEN?

 Respect is the essential framework for guiding people
 Respect is
 Appreciating that the people around you have different thoughts and
values
 Allowing those people to cherish those thoughts without censure in
any form whatsoever
 About NOT springing other peoples’ defensive emotions into action
RESPECT

 Respect fosters cooperation
 Through cooperation, things get done
 The logical way
 The correct way
 The successful way
RESPECT

 There are things you can do that are within your control
 There are things that can be done in a group setting – a
“respect system”
HOW TO RESPECT

 Three things you can do:
 Avoid the use of the word “you” in a problem situation
 Don’t blame; just state the problem
 Start the solution with “we” or, preferably, with “I”
 This isn’t about right or wrong. Its about not triggering
negative emotions in the other person. Their negative
emotions will work against you (poor/ineffective leadership).
RESPECT IN YOUR CONTROL

 An absolute “no-no”
 Blame is a sure fire way of triggering negative emotions – it is an
attack
 Don’t blame people even when they are obviously guilty
 Your role in the blame game
 It lifts your own ego and self-esteem
 Better to take some of the blame yourself
 Do you want a result?
 If yes, keep blame out of the picture
BLAME

 Emotions are normal
 We just want the positive ones
 Conflict is also normal and essential
 We all have different ideas, perspectives and interests
 As soon as feelings enter a discussion it becomes emotional
 Negative emotions prevent getting at real issues
 We need to take steps to prevent escalation of emotions by diffusing
them
 Diffusing emotions is the first priority for the leader that
wants results
DEFUSING EMOTIONS

 As soon as emotions occur in a discussion
 Recognize the emotions as real and address the underlying issue
 Control your own reactions
 Increase your own Emotional Intelligence
 Read about it
 You can choose how to react rather than blindly lashing out
 Avoid blame and counter attack
 An eye for an eye will only make you both blind
 Get back to the facts and away from emotions
 Understand and address the fears of the other person’s
personality/character type
 Don’t be afraid to say no. Being nebulous or misleading when you don’t
want to say no is passive aggressive and rarely helpful
 Always provide an escape clause so the listener doesn’t feel trapped
 Being trapped triggers defensive reactions and resentment
 Allow people to say no with ease. You will find they will often rather cooperate
STEPS TO DEFUSING EMOTIONS

Bad
 “Here are some
corrections”
 Corrections suggest error
(blame)
 Corrections suggest
control (trapped)
Better
 “Here are some
suggestions”
 Suggestions are helpful
 Suggestions can be
ignored (no trap)
DIFFUSING EMOTIONS EXAMPLE

Type Is described as a … Whose biggest fears are …
P
Producer, who is driven, direct, in
a hurry and sometimes hard on
people
That it won’t get done, that P will have
to take on the job in order to ensure it
gets done
A
Analyzer, who is careful, cautions,
thorough, orderly, analytical,
organized and logical
Of chaos, risk and disorder, or having to
clean up the mess afterwards
V
Visionary, who has a vision of
things being better, newer and
who is creative and full of ideas
Of not being recognized, of not getting
credit or special honours. Also fear of
being constrained
F
Friend, who cares deeply about
people, driven to help others, is
empathetic and consults people
to get their cooperation
Of not belonging. Also fear of
alienating anyone or of having conflict.
TREAT THE FEAR OF THE PERSONALITY

 The greatest secret: emotions trump logic all the time
 Emotions can be diffused by respect
 There is a process and a skill involved
 Cooperation can force logic to the fore
 Respect is the mechanism to achieve results through
increased cooperation
SUMMARY

 The seven key motivators
1. To be in control of decisions, which fall within a person’s own domains
2. To be appreciated in their personal environments or on the job, as indicated
by the people important to them, especially their partners, parents or
bosses, listening to them
3. To feel that in their work, they are contributing to something worthwhile in
the grand scheme of things
4. To achieve success in what they are doing
5. To move, upon achieving that success, to tasks of increasing complexity or
variation, i.e. to learn
6. To feel that they are growing from that learning
7. To be allowed to make mistakes, since mistakes create the deepest learning
imprint (allowing mistakes permits people to take the risk to open new
doors)
 Respect is ensuring that all of the above conditions occur for those who
interact with you, who associate or report to you or otherwise.
RESPECT AND HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

 As clear as 1, 2, 3
1. We must clearly understand the differences between people and
how they affect each individual’s chosen behaviour
2. Success at work depends on aligning the character with the job
3. Any group of individuals will have a resulting, predictable,
collective way of doing things based on combining the
personalities of the individuals
RESPECT AND HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

Four Personality Types
P
Producer, who is driven, direct,
in a hurry and sometimes hard
on people
A
Analyzer, who is careful,
cautions, thorough, orderly,
analytical, organized and
logical
V
F
empathetic and consults
people to get their cooperation
Every individual is different
 Most people are
dominant in one or two
but may have a bit of all
of the traits
 PAVF
 The traits have inherent
conflicts so people with
different traits will have
interpersonal conflicts
 Positively managing
conflicts is important
INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES

People
P
Producer, who is driven, direct,
in a hurry and sometimes hard
on people
A
Analyzer, who is careful,
cautions, thorough, orderly,
analytical, organized and
logical
V
F
empathetic and consults
people to get their cooperation
Important to find a fit
 Important for jobs to
match personalities
 For happiness
 For good performance
 Selection of new hires
should be based on the
fit
 Don’t hire a P to do an A
job
MATCHING CHARACTER TO JOBS

 Follows the character of its people and culture
 Balance of PAVF is the goal but the focus depends on the stage of the
company and what it needs
 Since no one has all characteristics in sufficient balance, we
have to work as a group and encourage group efforts
 Decisions formed in meetings
 Action taken by teams
THE BEHAVIOUR OF A GROUP

EVOLUTION OF AN ORGANIZATION
WOOING
(PAV F)
BABY
(PAVF)
TODDLER
(PAV F)
TEENAGER
(PAVF)
EXCELLENCE
( PAVF )
CONTENTMENT
(PA VF)
NOBILITY
(PA VF)
SCAPEGOAT
(PA _F)
SLUGGISHNESS
(_ A _ _)
DEATH
(_ _ _ _)
FLIPPANT
(_ _ V _)
CRIB DEATH
(P _ _ _)
EGO TRAP
(P _ V _)
PREMATURE
NOBILITY
(PA VF)
UNFULFILLED
VISIONARY
(PAV F)
PEAK PERFORMANCE
NO PERFORMANCE
GROWING DYING

A – analysis, bureaucracy, process based
 Doesn’t exist in a start-up but grows to dominate and hangs in to the
bitter end
V – vision, creativity, innovation, change for the better
 Required at the beginning but once A starts to dominate V, the
company is in decline
 The leaders’ task
 fight to maintain the balance of PAVF
TREND OF A & V

 Work in teams of different people
 Accept conflict but diffuse the emotions (respect)
 Fight the bureaucracy
 Develop simple, quick processes
 Review and change old processes
 Delegate effectively
 Support V
 LISTEN: V is about listening to others
 Stakeholders, Board but most importantly the staff
 Support creativity and innovation
 Allow mistakes
 Drive change and corporate learning
MAINTAINING BALANCE

 Force logic into the system
 Meetings are the best tool
 Learn how to hold painless meetings
 For routine business
 To solve problems
 Make meetings a safe environment
 Control the emotions
 Use meetings to listen
 Keep minutes
 Record actions
 Follow-up
WORKING IN TEAMS

 Recall the key motivators
1. To be in control of decisions, which fall within a person’s own domains
2. To be appreciated in their personal
environments or on the job, as indicated by
the people important to them,
especially their partners, parents or bosses,
listening to them
3. To feel that in their work, they are contributing to something worthwhile in the grand
scheme of things
4. To achieve success in what they are doing
5. To move, upon achieving that success, to tasks of increasing complexity or variation,
i.e. to learn
6. To feel that they are growing from that learning
7. To be allowed to make mistakes, since mistakes create the deepest learning imprint
(allowing mistakes permits people to take the risk to open new doors)
LISTENING

 Listening Programs
 Find ways to seek comments from all staff
 Anonymous methods help
 Suggestion boxes
 Publically address every comment and your response
 Meetings
 Attendance should cut across levels, including lower levels
 Straight talk – allow subordinates to speak their minds
 Be able to demonstrate that you listened and that you heard and
reacted
 Remember: Listening is a key motivator and a critical
leadership tool
LISTENING

 The enemy
 We’ve always done it this way (but I can’t remember why – loss of V)
 Are we still using NEPA or PHCN forms?
 I need to cover my backside (scapegoat) so I’ll hide in processes
 Avoiding blame and fault is more important than reasons (loss of V) or
achieving results (loss of P)
 Entitlement without reason
 There is no reason for it (no V) but I’m entitled
FIGHT BUREAUCRACY

 Support the V
 Every process needs a reason why it exists
 When the reason no longer makes sense, change the process
 Focus on results – That is what we are paid to do
 Accountability for results not process
 A perfect process that doesn’t deliver results is a signal of corporate death
 Feedback to staff
 Regular performance monitoring is very important
 Listen
 V comes as ideas but most often as complaints
 Don’t shut out the complainers – embrace them and react!
 Support listening with systems and processes
 Listening isn’t consistent or doesn’t happen otherwise
FIGHT BUREAUCRACY

 Leadership is about cooperation
 Cooperation requires respect
 Respect people by providing the seven motivators
 Emotions trump logic all the time
 Work in balanced teams
 Fight bureaucracy & support the vision
 Listen!
CONCLUSION

Respect: How to lead at Any Level

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