Character
- 1. Character “Men of genius are admired. Men of wealth are envied. Men of power are feared. But only men of character are trusted.” - Arthur Freidman I have the highest regard for my not-very-autocratic father. He is a great advertisement for ethical values. People love to be associated with him for the sheer person he is. Any adjective would fall short in describing his highly moral life. He carries himself with unmatchable élan. He has vistas of the future. I am fortunate to have a father of such supreme character. He may not always be physically present with me, but his inspirational ideas are firmly rooted in my mind. I have no compunction in claiming that whatever little success I have achieved today is only because of him. Lord, I am always beholden to you. Just as a foundation is the essence of a building, likewise character is the determining factor of a person. Here “foundation” is used as a simile for “character” and “building” for a “person.” Your character is the net worth of qualities that epitomize you as a person. It is your moral principles, your feelings, your desires, your conduct, your thoughts…to put it simply, it is YOU (your entire self). It is your character—and your character alone— that will make your life pleasurable or unpleasurable. Character can either make you or break you. The character traits you develop and possess will guide your actions and chart our future course. A good character is a feather in one’s cap. The trueness of character lies in the inner core of a person. Status does not determine your success or failure. Your merit is assessed only on the basis of your capabilities. Having said that, each individual— whether noble or ignoble, strong or weak, learned or uneducated, physically fit or disabled—holds within him the seeds of greatness. It only depends on its “proper execution.” This is where the challenge lies: many people sneeze at their own talents. Thank heavens! I do not belong to that category. Over to you! Good character I have done panoptic research on younger and older men who marry singularly beautiful women only to realize that they had married a pretty face that lacked character. I can provide you with dozens of instances of the heartaches such
- 2. stupid choices have caused. I am not belittling beauty, but cautioning you that physical attraction alone does not provide a very solid foundation for marriage. As Solomon said, “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman who is without discretion.” I agree with this unambiguous saying. I second it. Unfortunately, many young women marry men who are handsome, rich, or popular, and then, become grumpy that they have married bastards. It is no surprise that these couples divorce after some months of marriage. Young women, which would you prefer—a man with an impeccable character or a handsome man who has no moral values? Handsomeness is temporary, but character is everlasting. A person with good character is one who walks on the honest path in life. It does not count if another person is not doing the same; it counts if you are not acting honestly. It does not count if another person chooses to engage in cheap talk; it counts if you choose to engage in gobbledygook. It does not count if another person chooses to lacquer over his mistakes; it counts if you choose to mask your mistakes. It does not count if another person chooses to do some conniving; it counts if you choose to get involved in shenanigans. It does not count if another person chooses not to nourish the hope of building a good reputation; it counts if you choose not to build a good name. In short, people of good character are little bothered by what others do. They self-evaluate a lot and mind their own business. Character flaw We cannot escape the obvious question: can we claim to be perfect in every way? Nope. It is almost impossible to find even one person who is not flawed in some way. By those standards, we all have flawed characters. Perhaps, it is not realistic to expect to have a flawless character. A character flaw is a personality defect that brings disgrace and guilt. Consider a major flaw like a ferocious temper—it creates a black mark on our character. Our reputation, built through years of labor, is torpedoed. The key is to make a long and determined attempt to lessen our flaws. As we reduce our flaws to a negligible proportion, we tend to improve as individuals. Many people sham to be individuals of good character. They try to get in the good graces of people. They act nice and sweet. On closer inspection, however, one can discover that there is decay in their moral standards. They camouflage their tawdry secrets. They are misleading demigods to people.
- 3. However ultimately, situations lead to their unmasking. The world comes to know about their seedy character. All bad things should come to an end, and so they will. Pointers for parents to build a child’s character (1) Intersperse praise with constructive criticism. (2) Create a thoughtful atmosphere at home. (3) Spy on what your child is looking at on the Internet. Remember, scads of teenagers have fallen prey to something called “sexting.” It involves sending suggestive or sexual images through mobile phones, which can then be posted on the Internet or forwarded to other people. (4) Give equal emphasis to intellectual and moral development. (5) Document each step of your child’s development. (6) Insulate him from the disturbing news in the mass media. (7) Teach him to behave with proper manners. (8) Shore up his confidence when he is feeling low. (9) Do not coddle him too much. Expose him to the real, tough side of life. (10) Give him creative freedom. (11) Teach him proper money sense. (12) Say “No” to severe punitive measures. (13) Play “Call of Duty” and “Ultimate Alliance,” games about superheroes, with your child. (14) Do not compare your child with his counterparts. (15) Kindle his interest in best-selling books like Mr. Gum and Dancing Bear by Andy Stanton, Just William by Richmal
- 4. Crompton, Mary Poppins by Travers, and Five Children and It by Edith Nesbit. Importance of character There is a phrase that goes like this: “A tree must be bent while it is young,” which implies that you cannot teach new tricks to an old dog. If you want to teach something to somebody, start when he is young. It is always easy to plant good, newer and newer ideas in the malleable minds of children. The character of a person is dependent on the social environment, which includes parents, friends, teachers, and the people around us. For example, take the individual cases of Esmeralda and Bethany. Esmeralda had the privilege of being born to caring and responsible parents. They inculcated a strict code of right and wrong in her. On the other hand, Bethany grew up in a turbulent atmosphere. She reveled in the company of people who lacked social graces. Now, do you expect the character of Esmeralda to overlap with that of Bethany? Not even a distant possibility. The spotlight is always on us In more ways than one, the spotlight is always on us as far as our morals, ethics, and responsibilities are concerned. Consider this scenario: an elder brother tells his younger brother that pornography subverts young minds. But the irony lies here: in the middle of the night, when his family is deep in sleep, the elder brother surreptitiously opens his laptop and browses through porn sites. He himself has a lecherous mentality (a satyr). Hypocrisy! Let us practice what we preach. Let our actions match our words. There should be no cloak of secrecy around our actions. We are always accountable to God. Omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God oversees our activities. Therefore, let us do nothing wrong that will cause us to sink into a miasma of despair. Be true to yourself and to God. Adversity builds a person’s character As a child, Connor lived in one of New York’s poorest ghettos. He lost his mother when he was just two years old. From then on, his father raised him single handedly. When he reached 19 years of age, by the strange irony of fate, he lost his father too. A huge abyss, so to speak! Stress kept mounting in his mind, so much
- 5. so that he fell into a clinical depression. His neighbors immediately rushed him to a nearby general hospital. A reputable, personable psychiatrist treated him privately for months without charging a penny. Finally, upon being discharged from the hospital (after all his psychological wounds had healed), Connor headed straight to his neighborhood in the ghetto, but what he saw was a new, squat-shaped building. He was numb with shock, as it meant he had no shelter and would be forced to live in public parks or in gas station restrooms. He started traipsing from place to place, looking for a job. He experienced a lot of difficulties in job hunting (his lack of education became an obstacle in finding a job), but he did not throw in the towel. One day, he did get a job in a nightclub in New York, but it paid low wages, which meant a hand-to-mouth existence for him. After working for 17 years in that nightclub, he developed the financial capability to open a small nightclub himself. He worked very hard, and in nine years time, he had earned so much money that he could afford to open a large, high-class nightclub. A big venture like this translated into bigger profits. With his financial insecurity gone, Connor is now having the time of his life. In a line, he rose like a proverbial phoenix from the ashes. Moral of the story: no matter how bad the circumstances may be, you should never buckle under pressure. Be kind enough to give yourself chances to succeed. With enough self-belief and considerable efforts, miracles can happen. Character and integrity “The bedrock of character is integrity.” - Richard G. Scott As generation next’s greed grows, many people fall into deplorable money- making ways. They want to become rich by hook or by crook (materialistic hedonism). Money means everything to them. But what they do not know or tend to be blind to is that, in reality, when they walk on this path, moral soundness is lost. Self-respect falls flat on the ground. Shame rules their lives. To sum up in a few words, weakness of character becomes an inevitable corollary of their dishonest motives and activities. Unethical businessmen and over-the-top corrupt politicians may have sumptuous wealth. But of what use is it? They have scandals hanging over their heads like clouds. They cannot walk tall with confidence and pride. Their guilt
- 6. complex leaves them high and dry. Without character and integrity, success is meaningless. Be a person of the highest integrity. Keep your promise(s). Never let people down. Do not take shortcuts. Have a clear conscience. Always be in touch with your moral values. The difference between a successful person and a successful human being Balthazar was the proud child of multimillionaire parents (his mother had two miscarriages before she gave birth to him). He had a heritage of affluence and social position. He was literally born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Each demand of his was met immediately. But he had some really serious gaps in his character—slangs, cornball humor, and two-timing had honeycombed his life. He also had long dank hair and an insolent look in his eyes. The only saving grace was his burning desire to succeed. After graduating with an M.B.A. from Columbia University, Balthazar decided to work in his father’s manufacturing company based in Cologne, Germany, making machines that churned out 60% of the world’s spark plugs. (In Europe, for example, manufacturing accounts for nearly a fifth of gross domestic product.) With a highly qualified staff to fall back on, Balthazar learned the minutiae of his father’s business. In no time, there was steep growth all round. Happy with Balthazar’s intellectual prowess, his father handed him three-quarters of the responsibility for the company. Grabbing this opportunity with both hands, Balthazar hired more innovative people, established good connections, and changed the economic landscape of his company. He himself became a multimillionaire within a span of five years. His name was included in the who’s who of top German businessmen. Undeniably, he became a successful person, but where did his original core elements go? They remained with him throughout his lifetime. A leopard cannot change its spots! From the viewpoint of those in the outside world, he was successful, but as far as his morality was concerned, he was a “fiasco.” Nicholas was a venerable medical practitioner in Norwich. He treated his patients with kindness and concern. His heart ached with pity for underprivileged people. The patients who visited him for their illnesses found solace and bliss in his company. Nicholas did clinical practice for 50 years, or thereabouts, and treated a galaxy of patients in the process. What everyone had to say about Nicholas was, “He was not just a humdinger of a medical practitioner but also a messiah of the poor. He was a man of substance and not
- 7. of the page three variety.” Well, today Nicholas is not here with us (he died at the turn of the 20th century), but his deeds are unforgettable. Hence, after reading the above examples, we can conclude that becoming a successful human being is far more important than becoming a successful person. If you ask me, I want my epitaph to read: “Here was a fella who was punctilious in his manners and had insatiable curiosity.”