Conversation Transformation
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The document discusses improving communication by transforming conversations with effective questioning techniques, emphasizing the importance of clarity and understanding in dialogue. It highlights various problematic communication patterns, provides methods for addressing them, and outlines the benefits of enhanced trust, morale, and collaboration within teams. The authors encourage individuals to gather checkable facts, express concerns effectively, and seek a collaborative approach to conflict resolution.
Conversation Transformation
- 1. TRANSFORM your conversations… …with a new perspective on communication
- 2. THREE BUILDS then push the button. THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION YES-BUTS Contradiction: “Polite” 3 BUILDS 3 BUILDS with their “but” Avoidance of unnecessary Saying Yes and No fighting then make your then a BROAD QUESTION conflict at the same time “but” into a More effective and BROAD QUESTION efficient decision making
- 3. I’ve been thinking you may feel… Is that true? Are you Test your feeling that way? Do you think that? ASSUMPTION against Here’s what I’ve imagined you were REALITY. I’ve had the Is that thought that maybe thinking… accurate? you felt… THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION MIND- Thinking you Acting on State your thought CLARIFY: “You’re thinking Increased trust know what assumptions and ask a YES/NO that I feel/think…?” then Fewer misunderstandings READS someone else rather than QUESTION CONFIRM: “That’s true” or Enhanced cohesion and thinks or feels reality CORRECT: “Actually…” resilience within teams
- 4. Gather checkable FACTS. THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION NEGATIVE Assuming a Resignation, Gather Ask QUESTIONS about Improved morale bad outcome is hopelessness, checkable FACTS checkable facts Greater capacity for PREDICTIONS inevitable failure to take creative problem solving action and planning
- 5. Break your question in half: 1 QUESTION & 1 OPINION THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION LEADING Pushing for Compliance Break your question PARAPHRASE (“You’re Fewer power struggles agreement, not (inauthentic into two parts: wondering if I think…”) More integrative, inclusive QUESTIONS new information agreement) your QUESTION and RESPOND (“What I decisions or resentful and your OPINION think is…”). Increased buy-in defiance
- 6. Ask clearly what you want. THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION COMPLAINTS Taking a Whining, Ask clearly what Ask questions about Decreased frustration hopeless, frustration, YOU want and what what THEY want and Empowerment of passive outlook resentment YOU can do to help what THEY can do to individuals and groups to make that happen help make that happen solve their own problems
- 7. Increase your AWARENESS. THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS METHODS BENEFITS of for YOU for ANOTHER TRANSFORMATION ATTACKS Venting anger Blame, insults, Increase your RESONATE (mirror feeling), Reduced stress within instead of sarcasm, AWARENESS: REFLECT (paraphrase concern), and among teams expressing it hostile voice What do you feel? RESOLVE (address the directly tone What is your goal? underlying issues) What do you really want to say?
- 8. THE PROBLEM SYMPTOMS METHODS for YOU METHODS for ANOTHER BENEFITS of TRANSFORMATION YES-BUTS Contradiction: “Polite” 3 BUILDS then make 3 BUILDS with their “but” then Avoidance of unnecessary Saying Yes and fighting your “but” into a a BROAD QUESTION conflict No at the same BROAD QUESTION More effective and time efficient decision making MIND-READS Thinking you Acting on State your thought CLARIFY: “You’re thinking that I Increased trust know what assumptions and ask a YES/NO feel/think…?” then Fewer misunderstandings someone else rather than QUESTION CONFIRM: “That’s true” or Enhanced cohesion and thinks or feels reality CORRECT: “Actually…” resilience within teams NEGATIVE Assuming a Resignation, Gather checkable Ask QUESTIONS about Improved morale PREDICTIONS bad outcome is hopelessness, FACTS checkable facts Greater capacity for inevitable failure to take creative problem solving action and planning LEADING Pushing for Compliance Break your question PARAPHRASE (“You’re Fewer power struggles QUESTIONS agreement, (inauthentic into two parts: wondering if I think…”) and More integrative, inclusive not new agreement) your QUESTION RESPOND (“What I think is…”). decisions information or resentful and your OPINION Increased buy-in defiance COMPLAINTS Taking a Whining, Ask clearly what Ask questions about what Decreased frustration hopeless, frustration, YOU want and what THEY want and what THEY can Empowerment of passive resentment YOU can do to help do to help make that happen individuals and groups to outlook make that happen solve their own problems ATTACKS Venting anger Blame, Increase your RESONATE (mirror feeling), Enhanced conflict instead of insults, AWARENESS: REFLECT (paraphrase concern), resolution expressing it sarcasm, What do you feel? RESOLVE (address the Reduced stress within and directly hostile voice What is your goal? underlying issues) among teams tone What do you really want to say?
- 9. Interested in more? 1) Go to the website This presentation 2) Get the book created 3) Give Ben and Amy with passion by: a call or send them an Ben Benjamin email Janice Caillet & SAVI Training Partners Amy Yeager Dr. Ben Benjamin 175 Richdale Avenue, Suite 106 Cambridge, MA 02140 tel. 617-576-0777