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Design with a Smile
- 1. n :Desig mile w ith a S :Design with a Smile 2011 VisCom Day Charlie Zimkus : : The Columbus Dispatch czimkus@dispatch.com
- 2. n :Desig mile w ith a S 6 ways to introduce humor into your work 1) Exaggerate. 2) Use visual metaphors. 3) Make a game of it. 4) Get others to play along. 5) Parody.
- 3. n :Desig mile w ith a S 1) Exaggerate.
- 4. n :Desig mile w ith a S Scale is an obvious candidate. Whether you make things big ...
- 5. Cook’s Corner .................H2 ∑ Two’s Company ..............H2 Grape Expectations ......H3 By Definition ..................H3 n H WEDNESDAY :Desig mile For the Gourmet ............H5 Desperation Dinners .....H5 MARCH 17, 2004 ith a S CUTTING EDGE w Food auction Haven’t settled on tonight’s plans for St. Patrick’s Day? Then consider heading to Loveland for ‘‘A Time With Paddington,’’ a Paddington bear exhibit and food auc- tion sponsored by the Greater Loveland Historical Society Museum. People can bid on items, includ- ing dinner for two, home- made pies and gift certifi- cates to local restaurants. The event is being held at the JoAnn Richardson His- tory House at Park and Riverside Drive in Love- ... or small. land. For more informa- tion, call 513-683-5692. Irish legend And speaking of St. Patrick’s Day, did you know that cutting the cross in the top of Irish soda bread is an old superstition? According to the March issue of Martha Stewart Living, making those cuts in the top of the bread was supposed to ‘‘let the devil out’’ before baking. Free ice Although it may not seem like it, spring is not far off. CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION To celebrate the first day of spring, Rita’s Water Ice at 2116 W. Henderson Rd. large measure will give away a regular- size Italian ice treat to everyone who stops by In Saturday. Nationwide, the company plans to give away more than a half- million cups of ice. For Cook’s Corner .................H2 ∑ Two’s Company ..............H2 Grape Expectations ......H3 By Definition ..................H3 For the Gourmet ............H5 Desperation Dinners .....H5 more information, call H WEDNESDAY MARCH 17, 2004 CUTTING EDGE 614-457-7290. Broiler wisdom Food auction Haven’t settled on tonight’s plans for St. Patrick’s Day? Then consider heading to Broiling is a great alterna- Loveland for ‘‘A Time With Paddington,’’ a Paddington bear exhibit and food auc- tive to grilling during cold More cookbooks target pint-size chefs tion sponsored by the Greater Loveland Historical Society Museum. People can bid on items, includ- ing dinner for two, home- months. To avoid broiler made pies and gift certifi- cates to local restaurants. The event is being held at the JoAnn Richardson His- fires, cooking aficionado tory House at Park and Riverside Drive in Love- land. For more informa- tion, call 513-683-5692. James Beard recommend- ed putting a piece of bread in the bottom of the Irish legend broiler pan. According to By Robin Davis safety guidelines throughout And speaking of St. Patrick’s Day, did you know that cutting the cross in the top of Irish soda bread is an old superstition? According to the March 1,001 Secrets of Great THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Buying tips the recipes or at least have a issue of Martha Stewart Living, making those cuts Cooks, bread absorbs the While many experts think any section on kitchen safety. N in the top of the bread was supposed to ‘‘let the devil out’’ before baking. grease that can catch fire. ot so long ago, cookbooks for children consisted of smaller cookbook that makes children ∑ Select cookbooks that go Free ice Although it may not seem like it, spring is not far off. interested in food and cooking CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION versions of Mom’s favorite volumes. Pint-size Betty Crocker, To celebrate the first day of spring, Rita’s Water Ice at 2116 W. Henderson Rd. beyond traditional kid favorites large will give away a regular- size Italian ice treat to everyone who stops by is good, they have a few sug- like macaroni and cheese. In measure Saturday. Nationwide, the company plans to give away more than a half- million cups of ice. For more information, call 614-457-7290. Fanny Farmer and Good Housekeeping books seemed aimed gestions for picking the best: Books that include dishes on Broiler wisdom Broiling is a great alterna- tive to grilling during cold at junior housewives to go right along with baby dolls and plastic ∑ Pick books with colorful pho- fruits and vegetables may More cookbooks target pint-size chefs tographs. Seeing what the fin- months. To avoid broiler fires, cooking aficionado James Beard recommend- enourage children to try some- kitchen sets. ¶ But as food in this country has earned a capital ‘‘F’’ ed putting a piece of ished food looks like can entice bread in the bottom of the broiler pan. According to 1,001 Secrets of Great Cooks, bread absorbs the By Robin Davis THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Buying tips While many experts think any safety guidelines throughout the recipes or at least have a section on kitchen safety. thing new. N grease that can catch fire. ot so long ago, cookbooks for children consisted of smaller children to try different recipes. cookbook that makes children ∑ Select cookbooks that go interested in food and cooking with glossy magazines, gourmet cookware stores and even an entire versions of Mom’s favorite volumes. Pint-size Betty Crocker, ∑ Be sure to get books that are beyond traditional kid favorites is good, they have a few sug- like macaroni and cheese. Fanny Farmer and Good Housekeeping books seemed aimed gestions for picking the best: Books that include dishes on Picture books are especially at junior housewives to go right along with baby dolls and plastic ∑ Pick books with colorful pho- fruits and vegetables may tographs. Seeing what the fin- enourage children to try some- kitchen sets. ¶ But as food in this country has earned a capital ‘‘F’’ with glossy magazines, gourmet cookware stores and even an entire ished food looks like can entice children to try different recipes. thing new. ∑ Be sure to get books that are age-appropriate for the child. Dandy recipes If there’s spring, there TV channel complete with celebrity chefs dedicated to food, so too has the kids’ cookbook market changed. ¶ Saveur magazine recently Picture books are especially good for younger kids with lim- ited reading skills. ∑ Scan the recipes to be sure age-appropriate for the child. Books written for an 8-year-old may not be appealing to a 12- year-old. TV channel complete with celebrity chefs dedicated to food, so too good for younger kids with lim- Books written for an 8-year-old ited reading skills. must be summer, and with reported that 7,552 children’s cookbooks were available on they cover the basics: how to ∑ Stick to books that use easy- Dandy recipes measure liquids versus dry may not be appealing to a 12- summer come dandelions. amazon.com. Anyone who has taken a walk down a bookstore aisle to-find ingredients. Remember: has the kids’ cookbook market changed. ¶ Saveur magazine recently Try your hand at dandelion ingredients, how to preheat the It will be the adult who needs cooking at the National can see the staggering variety of books aimed at teaching children oven, how to mix. to make the extra trip for any- Dandelion Cook-off in See COOKBOOKS Page H3 ∑ Look for books which include thing special. Dover. Entrants should pre- pare unique recipes using the dandelion flower, root If there’s spring, there ∑ Scan the recipes to be sure year-old. reported that 7,552 children’s cookbooks were available on or green as a main ingredi- ent. Deadline for recipe submission is April 1. Finalists will compete at the Dandelion May Fest on must be summer, and with they cover the basics: how to ∑ Stick to books that use easy- measure liquids versus dry May 1 at Breitenbach Wine Cellars and could win Tips will make you a fan of sauces in a pan summer come dandelions. to-find ingredients. Remember: $500 for first place. That’s just enough money for a visit from the weed killer. For more information, visit By CeCe Sullivan The foundation of pan sauces are high heat. (Some burners are hotter than amazon.com. Anyone who has taken a walk down a bookstore aisle ingredients, how to preheat the www.breitenbachwine.com or call 1-800-THE-WINE. THE SEATTLE TIMES the crusty juices that form on the Try your hand at dandelion others, so adjust the heat accordingly.) Add the oil or other fat called for in the recipe. It will be the adult who needs oven, how to mix. Pan sauces, unlike the emulsified When hot, add food and cook without Child’s traits ‘‘In order to know whether a human being is young or branch of the sauce family, have a forgiv- ing nature. If the sauce is too thin, it can either be reduced further or thickened with a starch. Or maybe the sauce has bottom of the pan when food is browned, sauteed or roasted. moving until a crust is formed, which cooking at the National should release easily from the pan. Then turn and finish cooking. The food should be a rich brown, but should not blacken. can see the staggering variety of books aimed at teaching children to make the extra trip for any- old, offer it food of differ- been reduced so much, it needs loosening 2. Degrease: After sauteing and remov- ent kinds at short inter- vals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.’’ up. Just correct the consistency with a tablespoon or two of water or other liquid. The foundation of pan sauces are the crusty juices that form on the bottom of size of the pan: ‘‘When meats are sauteed,’’ he writes, ‘‘they should fit neatly into the saute pan with no extra room. If the pan is too large, so that part of its sur- Dandelion Cook-off in ing meat from pan, pour off the fat. (If aromatics are going to be added, a thin glaze of fat can be left on the bottom of the pan.) See COOKBOOKS Page H3 ∑ Look for books which include thing special. Dover. Entrants should pre- — Oliver Wendell Holmes the pan when food is browned, sauteed or face is exposed during sauteing, the meat 3. Deglaze: After degreasing pan, put it roasted. Here’s how to construct an ele- juices, which are essential to pan- back on the heat. Now add aromatics such gant sauce, step by step. deglazed sauces, will burn. An overcrowd- as minced garlic and shallot, or a mirepoix 1. Saute: Meats should first be patted ed pan, on the other hand, will prevent — a tiny dice of carrot, celery and onion. pare unique recipes using with paper towels to absorb excess mois- the meat from browning evenly and may Saute about 30 seconds. Pour liquid into Send your food news and BARY WONG | THE SEATTLE TIMES tidbits to Food Editor Robin ture. Choose a heavy-bottomed saute or even cause it to release its juices too the pan; it should come to a boil quickly. Davis, The Columbus Dispatch, frying pan. In Sauces: Classical and Con- quickly, so that it simmers in its own Use a spatula to loosen the browned An apricot-wild mushroom sauce to go 34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, Ohio temporary Sauce Making, author James juices, rather than browns.’’ with sauteed pork chops is made in the Peterson advises paying attention to the Heat the pan over medium to medium- See SAUCES Page H3 pan in which the meat was cooked. the dandelion flower, root 43215; fax, 614-559-1754. 03/17 FOOD, PAGE H1 or green as a main ingredi- ent. Deadline for recipe submission is April 1. Finalists will compete at the Dandelion May Fest on May 1 at Breitenbach Wine Cellars and could win
- 6. n :Desig mile w ith a S Playing with scale can have a light-hearted effect.
- 7. METRO SCIENCE THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM n :Desig mile SCIENCE BRIEFS w ith a S Forbidden Old NASA spacecraft assigned to new jobs NASA took its Deep Impact spacecraft — the one that in 2005 sent an 800-pound probe crashing into a comet — and gave it two new missions. One was to study known extrasolar planets, fruit(cake) and the other to fly past a sec- ond comet, Boethin, in 2008, and survey it. But since the mission was announced, a prob- lem cropped up. Boethin, which Exploit the is about a mile in diameter, seems to have disappeared. Astronomers cannot locate it and suggest that it may have broken into pieces too small to be seen. characteristics of So NASA is retargeting the Deep Impact craft. The agency ap- proved sending the spacecraft to another comet, Hartley 2. your subject in Fast-flowing water can form deposits, too About two-thirds of the sedi- mentary rock at or near the unusual ways. earth’s surface is mudstone, rock formed by the deposition of clays and other fine particles. Those particles are carried by water and are so fine that it has always been assumed that for deposi- tion to occur, the water had to be still — a deep lake, perhaps. But a study by Juergen Schieber and Kevin Thaisen of Indiana Uni- versity, with John Southard of the Massachusetts Institute of Tech- nology, published in Science, shows that fine clays may be PubDate: 12-25-07 Page: 6 E Edition: 1 Replate: User: kmetts Color:C M K Y deposited by fast-flowing water. METRO SCIENCE E6 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM SCIENCE BRIEFS Forbidden Old NASA spacecraft assigned to new jobs NASA took its Deep Impact spacecraft — the one that in 2005 sent an 800-pound probe crashing into a comet — and gave it two new missions. One was to study known extrasolar planets, fruit(cake) and the other to fly past a sec- ond comet, Boethin, in 2008, and survey it. But since the mission was announced, a prob- lem cropped up. Boethin, which is about a mile in diameter, seems to have disappeared. Astronomers cannot locate it and Ocean worms aren’t suggest that it may have broken into pieces too small to be seen. So NASA is retargeting the Deep Impact craft. The agency ap- proved sending the spacecraft to another comet, Hartley 2. Fast-flowing water can form deposits, too About two-thirds of the sedi- picky eaters after all CHARLIE ZIMKUS, RENEE SAUER DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION mentary rock at or near the earth’s surface is mudstone, rock The ocean is home to many weird formed by the deposition of clays and other fine particles. Those particles are carried by water and are so fine that it has always creatures, but few that are as been assumed that for deposi- tion to occur, the water had to be still — a deep lake, perhaps. But a study by Juergen Schieber and weird as the worms of the genus Kevin Thaisen of Indiana Uni- versity, with John Southard of the Massachusetts Institute of Tech- nology, published in Science, Osedax. The worms feast on the shows that fine clays may be deposited by fast-flowing water. bones of “whalefalls,” carcasses on the seafloor. Osedax can Ocean worms aren’t picky eaters after all make short work of even large whales, said Robert C. Vrijenhoek CHARLIE ZIMKUS, RENEE SAUER DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION The ocean is home to many weird creatures, but few that are as weird as the worms of the genus Osedax. The worms feast on the of the Monterey Bay Aquarium bones of “whalefalls,” carcasses on the seafloor. Osedax can make short work of even large whales, said Robert C. Vrijenhoek Research Institute in California. of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California. But the ocean floor is not exactly wall-to-wall whalefalls. Might the Experts dig into But the ocean floor is not exactly worms devour bones of other Experts dig into marine mammals as well? To test the oft-maligned that idea, Vrijenhoek and col- leagues set out cow bones near holiday staple whalefalls. Might the wall-to-wall whale carcasses in Monterey Bay. As they report in The Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, the bones were colo- worms devour bones of other nized within a few months at several sites. By demonstrating that the worms go for cow bones, the researchers have shown that By Kevin Mayhood F the worms could have a more marine mammals as well? To test THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH varied diet. “If they can live on cow bones,” Vrijenhoek said, ruitcake is food for thought. spongy and dries out and “they can probably live on any- And, with a handful of large U.S. bakers alone crumbles,” Klosterman said. the oft-maligned thing.” that idea, Vrijenhoek and col- selling more than 6 million pounds of the stuff But a fruitcake, as it ages, — From wire reports “can become practically un- during the holidays, there’s a lot to go around. breakable.” Some receivers revel in the fare while others use the cakes as doorstops, toss them in the gar- Dig the cake SCIENCE BLOG - To read Dark Matter on the Web, go to http:// leagues set out cow bones near bage or regift them. However, this butt of holiday jokes can be No ancient, petrified fruit- cake has been discovered, but the holiday staple can none- viewed as a veritable brick of plenty for sciences theless offer a lesson in geol- whale carcasses in Monterey Bay. blog.dispatch.com/darkmatter/ including metallurgy, geology, composite mate- ogy. only real analogy “The rials and psychology. would be to glacial till,” said Read on. Dale Gnidovec, curator of the As they report in The Proceedings Like a brick house Orton Geological Museum at Ohio State University. holiday staple Institute. The nuts and fruits and the Composites, such as con- “Fruitcake is analogous to cake that binds them are akin of the Royal Society B: Biological crete and fiberglass, are two how a lot of these materials to the boulders, rocks, sand or more materials mixed are formed,” he said. “You and gravel that glaciers car- together to provide properties have a matrix — the cake mix ried with them across much greater than the individual — which is loaded with rein- of Ohio millions of years ago, Sciences, the bones were colo- components can offer, said forcing particles, in this case Gnidovec said. Don Klosterman, senior po- fruits and nuts. lymer engineer at the Uni- “Without the reinforcing HOW TO REACH US versity of Dayton’s Research materials, a plain cake is See FRUITCAKE Page E7 ASSISTANT CITY EDITOR Mark Somerson......614-461-8508 msomerson@dispatch.com nized within a few months at SCIENCE REPORTER Kevin Mayhood.......614-461-5256 kmayhood@dispatch.com several sites. By demonstrating that the worms go for cow bones, 12-25-07 the researchers have shown that PAGE E6 By Kevin Mayhood the worms could have a more THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH varied diet. “If they can live on cow bones,” Vrijenhoek said, ruitcake is food for thought. spongy and dries out and “they can probably live on any- thing.” And, with a handful of large U.S. bakers alone crumbles,” Klosterman said. But a fruitcake, as it ages,
- 8. n :Desig mile w ith a S Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings are usually OK.) Push it to the extreme. e removed quickly engers must removeTRAVEL PubDate: 11-18-07 Page: 1 F Edition: 1 Replate: User: czimkus Color:C K Y M SUNDAY NOVEMBER 18, 2007 F nt. Sun-soaked casinos Coming next Sunday Online OGLEBAY RESORT AND ANOTHER THING Holiday lights and more Florida bets on growing industry ,F3 Dispatch.com/blogs For breaking news, visit Dispatch.com. Speedier security By Steve Stephens THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH F Learn how lying can be a trying experience, with delays, overbookings and cancellations. to minimize But passengers face their first trial well before they delays reach the gate: at the security screening checkpoint. The approach of the Thanksgiving holiday — one of the busiest at airport times at the nation’s airports — promises to add to those trials. Even frequent fliers sometimes get confused or befuddled checkpoints when confronting security checkpoints. For newbies, the process can be especially stressful. See SECURITY Page F2 TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH SECURITY Remember the “3-1-1 Rule.” All carry-on liquids Don’t pack carry-on bags too full. must be in 3.4-ounce or smaller containers and Security screeners must be able to identify all must fit inside one clear 1-quart bag. the items in bags when X-raying them. Have your boarding pass and ID in hand so you can present them at checkpoints. Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings Put loose metal items such as keys, cell phones, are usually OK.) pagers and loose change into a carry-on bag, or gather them in one place so they can easily be found, passed through the X-ray machine and retrieved. Wear shoes that can be removed quickly and put back on. Passengers must remove shoes at the checkpoint. CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH What is and isn’t OK ALLOWED NOT ALLOWED After Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists took over airplanes - Beverages bought - Metal scissors with - Beverages - Torch lighters with box cutters, security screenings became more intense. after going through blades shorter than bought before - Lighter fluid Then came a potential bomber with explosives in his shoes security screening 4 inches going through security screening - Nightsticks and a plot to blow up planes using bottled liquids. - Pudding, yogurt, - Nail files 3 ounces or less and larger than - Tools longer All that has led to a crackdown — and confusion — on what - Safety razors 3 ounces than 7 inches is allowed aboard an airplane in carry-on bags. - Cigar cutters - Walking canes - Box cutters - Meat cleavers Some prohibited items are allowed in checked bags in- - Corkscrews - Umbrellas stead of a carry-on, but don’t be surprised that your fire- - Gel-type candles - Drills and drill - Tools such as screw- - One book of safety bits works or grenades aren’t allowed in either the passenger drivers and pliers - Gel-type shoe compartment or the cargo hold. matches inserts - Golf clubs shorter than 7 inches Here is a partial list of what is allowed in carry-on luggage - Baby formula - Snow globes - Ski poles - Knitting needles and and what is not. crochet hooks - Transformer toys - Spray paint - Sabers For a more complete list, visit www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel. Click on the link “Prohibited Items.’’ TICKET TO WRITE Time wasn’t on his side when Congress set the clocks Like many travelers, I get nerv- I blame my pocket planner and about an hour from that very ous when I’m running late for a Congress. moment, I thought. Our hostess flight or a ferry or a hotel check- Given my crazy schedule, my I often feel out of step with the seemed out. planner is indispensable. I go rest of the world, but never in so So why don’t I where it tells me to go when it tells tangible a form. Still, it wasn’t until strangely wear a watch? me. (If I ever misplace it, look for hours and miles later that I began antsy to The answer me curled up and mewling under to suspect the truth. probably lies my desk.) So when the planner When I finally got my signals conduct buried some- plainly stated “Daylight-saving straight, I realized, with wonder, where deep in time ends” Oct. 28, I believed it. that lagging behind hadn’t led to an interview my psyche, just Unfortunately, Congress had any awful repercussions. I’d even I had set up to the left of the other ideas and voted, apparently enjoyed an extra hour’s sleep. neurons that sometime after my planner was This time, Congress gets a pass. for, oh, generate those STEVE printed, to extend daylight-saving Charity cruise about an dreams in time an extra week. which I appear STEPHENS At the inn where I was staying, I Earlier this year I wrote about hour from naked on a wondered why all the guests had the Buckeye Cruise for Cancer, a stage while forgetting all my lines. shown up for breakfast so early. Caribbean cruise Feb. 8-11 that that very But a watch wouldn’t have Everyone seemed to be checking promises to raise at least $500,000 moment. helped me a few weeks ago, when out early, too. And our hostess to fight cancer. I spent almost an entire day one seemed strangely antsy to conduct hour behind the rest of the world. an interview I had set up for, oh, See STEPHENS Page F2 CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH 11-18-07 PAGE F1
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- 15. at airport times at the nation’s airports — promises to add to those trials. Even frequent fliers sometimes get confused or befuddled checkpoints n :Desig mile when confronting security checkpoints. For newbies, the process can be especially stressful. See SECURITY Page F2 w ith a S TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH SECURITY Remember the “3-1-1 Rule.” All carry-on liquids Don’t pack carry-on bags too full. must be in 3.4-ounce or smaller containers and Security screeners must be able to identify all must fit inside one clear 1-quart bag. the items in bags when X-raying them. Have your boarding pass and ID in hand so you can present them at checkpoints. Don’t wear large metal items that might set off metal detectors. (Small belt buckles and rings Put loose metal items such as keys, cell phones, are usually OK.) pagers and loose change into a carry-on bag, or gather them in one place so they can easily be found, passed through the X-ray machine and retrieved. Wear shoes that can be removed quickly and put back on. Passengers must remove shoes at the checkpoint. CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH What is and isn’t OK ALLOWED NOT ALLOWED After Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists took over airplanes - Beverages bought - Metal scissors with - Beverages - Torch lighters with box cutters, security screenings became more intense. after going through blades shorter than bought before - Lighter fluid security screening 4 inches going through
- 16. n :Desig mile w ith a S 2) Use visual metaphors.
- 17. Vice vs. virtue Thomas J. Craughwell D catches Saints SUNDAY Behaving Badly in his n entertaining new OCTOBER 15, 2006 :Desig mile book D7 WWW.DISPATCH.COM w ith a S Use a metaphor to make a non-visual topic visual. CHARLIE ZIMKUS, CHRIS RUSSELL DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION Writers of ‘fan fiction’ dream up new adventures for their favorite characters from pop culture Amateur hour PubDate: 10-15-06 Section: Arts Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: 1 User: tlemmon Time: 10/14 16:16 Size: Broadsheet K Y M Color:C 0 Vice vs. virtue Thomas J. Craughwell D catches Saints SUNDAY Behaving Badly in his entertaining new OCTOBER 15, 2006 book D7 WWW.DISPATCH.COM if By Cheryl Truman and Heather Chapman MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS On the Internet you don’t know much about “fan fiction,” you might get a taste of it with CHARLIE ZIMKUS, CHRIS RUSSELL DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION A sampling of Web sites, many of a quick summary of a story based extremely loosely on the TV series Star Writers of ‘fan fiction’ dream up which carefully label adults-only new adventures for their favorite characters from pop culture material, that offer fan fiction: Trek: The Next Generation: Amateur hour - www.fanfiction.net: The granddaddy of such sites remains An impossibly brave, talented, beautiful young woman — who just happens to be named after the author — insinuates herself into the life of if By Cheryl Truman On the Internet and Heather Chapman MCCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS one of the best bets for literate Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. In a footrace, she twists her ankle. She then fiction, although it has its share of you don’t know much about “fan fiction,” you might get a taste of it with A sampling of Web sites, many of commits ritual suicide using an eyelash and a fingernail scrap. a quick summary of a story based extremely loosely on the TV series Star which carefully label adults-only material, that offer fan fiction: Trek: The Next Generation: An impossibly brave, talented, beautiful young woman — who just howlingly bad efforts — and - www.fanfiction.net: The granddaddy of such sites remains happens to be named after the author — insinuates herself into the life of one of the best bets for literate Capt. Jean-Luc Picard. In a footrace, she twists her ankle. She then Who says fan fiction is uniformly pretty — or logical? fiction, although it has its share of commits ritual suicide using an eyelash and a fingernail scrap. detractors. howlingly bad efforts — and detractors. Who says fan fiction is uniformly pretty — or logical? - www.fictionalley.org: It contains Such writing, simply put, spins off a new tale with established characters. Despite roots that all that anyone could want to read go back decades, it is spawned largely by the Internet as well as fanzines — magazines aimed Such writing, simply put, spins off a new tale with established characters. Despite roots that about Harry Potter and company. at fans of a specific cultural phenomenon, such as Star Trek. - www.fictionalley.org: It contains - www.theforce.net: It provides all Much of fan fiction, or “fanfic” or “fic,” seems to be based on television, but it also stems Star Wars, all the time. from anything else that inspires a loyal following — books, movies, anime, video games, Broadway musicals, even professional wrestling. all that anyone could want to read go back decades, it is spawned largely by the Internet as well as fanzines — magazines aimed With just a simple Internet search for a favorite fictional character, a reader is bound to find See AMATEUR Page D2 MUSIC MOVIES about Harry Potter and company. at fans of a specific cultural phenomenon, such as Star Trek. Singer explains mysteries of lyrics Boundaries of sex, - www.theforce.net: It provides all politics being pushed Much of fan fiction, or “fanfic” or “fic,” seems to be based on television, but it also stems Star Wars, all the time. By Aaron Beck THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Asked why they write their songs, some musicians shrug or mumble. Matt Miner, on the other hand, rewards an interviewer with concrete nouns and active verbs — vibrant thoughts about Black By Elizabeth Weitzman NEW YORK DAILY NEWS Remember the Oscar nominees for 2005? Each of the movies up Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing; and the seemingly mild (on these shores, anyway) British drama The Queen. What has caused the upturn in from anything else that inspires a loyal following — books, movies, anime, video games, Broadway musicals, even professional wrestling. Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Celtic Frost, the for best picture in the spring was on-screen instigation? Melvins and Metallica (the Cliff Burton era); touted as daring and provocative, Douglas Brode, the author of Indian mounds; and the allure of psychedelic from directors determined to test Sinema: Erotic Adventures in Film rock. limits and break ground. and a cinema-studies professor at Miner — the vocalist, guitarist and song- Ah, innocence. Syracuse (N.Y.) University, points With just a simple Internet search for a favorite fictional character, a reader is bound to find writer of the central Ohio metal trio Teeth of Shocked by two gay cowboys? to a growing sense of unrest. the Hydra — is aptly named: To create the Get ready for the pansexual gym- “After 9/11, we were all trying to tracks for the new album Greenland, recently nastics — in full-frontal glory — stay within the bounds of good released on the New York label Tee Pee throughout Shortbus, from John taste and we were all encouraged Records, he sifted his mind. WILL SHILLING FOR THE DISPATCH Cameron Mitchell. to self-censor,” Brode says. “But “I write songs by looking at pictures or Disturbed by the racial sparks as the political climate grows reading about places like nuclear cities and of Crash? Buckle up for Borat, more divisive, people are now imagine what an existence like that would be “I write songs by looking at pictures or reading which mines extreme sexism and beginning to speak out more.” like,” the 32-year-old said. “I am not inspired about places like nuclear cities. . . . I am not anti-Semitism for humor. Paul Schrader agrees — and, as See AMATEUR Page D2 by mundane life. I don’t write songs about Unnerved by the political the screenwriter of Taxi Driver being (ticked) off at work. I’m only inspired by inspired by mundane life. I don’t write songs about implications of Munich? Be pre- (1976) and The Last Temptation of things that are fantastic.” Later this month, Miner will join his Hydra being (ticked) off at work. I’m only inspired by pared for Death of a President. The list continues with poten- Christ (1988), and the writer- director of American Gigolo mates, bass player Matt Bailey and drummer things that are fantastic.” tial rabble-rousers such as the (1980), knows about controversy. Jamie Stillman, to perform selections from comedy Sleeping Dogs Lie and the “In troubled times like these, MATT MINER gender-switching indie work See SINGER Page D2 Teeth of the Hydra Zerophilia; the documentary See BOUNDARIES Page D2 10-15-06 PAGE D1 MUSIC MOVIES Boundaries of sex,
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- 23. After a regular season spanning November to March, the grind of league play and a frenetic conference tournament, 65 teams (down to 64 as of Tuesday night) earned the right to enter the labyrinth that is the NCAA Tournament. And now, star players such n :Desig mile as Evan Turner of Ohio State, John Wall of Kentucky and Sherron Collins of Kansas will try to help their squads navigate the inevitable twists and turns of March Madness, with a singular goal awaiting at the end: a national championship. w ith a S S TA R T 2 Evan urne Evan Turner O H I O S TAT E T AT AT 4 64 64 5 Exploit as many John al John Wall KENTUCKY FINISH similarities as 3 possible between 8 your subject and Andy autins Andy Rautins ndy SYRACUSE metaphor. 6 32 32 PubDate: 03-18-2010 Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: czimkus Color:C K Y M Armo Basset Armon Bassett OHIO UNIVERSITY 7 9 THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 2O1O $1.00 I2 I2 TOURNAMENT PREVIEW After a regular season spanning November to March, the grind of league play and a frenetic conference tournament, 65 teams (down to 64 as of Tuesday night) earned the right to enter the labyrinth that is the NCAA Tournament. And now, star players such as Evan Turner of Ohio State, John Wall of Kentucky and Sherron Collins of Kansas will try to help their squads navigate the inevitable twists and turns of March Madness, with a singular goal awaiting at the end: a national championship. II S TA R T Sherro Collin Sherron Collins rro ins 2 KANSAS Evan urne Evan Turner O H I O S TAT E T AT AT I4 I4 4 64 64 5 John al John Wall KENTUCKY FINISH 3 8 Andy autins Andy Rautins ndy SYRACUSE 6 32 32 Armo Basset Armon Bassett 7 9 I3 3 IO IO OHIO UNIVERSITY I2 I2 II Sherro Collin Sherron Collins rro ins KANSAS I4 I4 Jordan Crawfor Jordan Crawford ra ord X AV I E R AV I3 3 IO IO Jordan Crawfor Jordan Crawford ra ord X AV I E R AV INSIDE THIS SECTION The Ohio State Jantel Lavender » Former Hoosier Men’s regional men have relied has been a rock Armon Bassett analyses on six players in the middle for is leading the PAGES 4-5 almost exclusively the Ohio State charge for Women’s down the stretch women this season n Ohio University regional analyses PAGE 2 PAGE 3 PAGE 4 PAGE 6 03-18-2010 PAGE D1 INSIDE THIS SECTION The Ohio State Jantel Lavender » Former Hoosier Men’s regional men have relied has been a rock Armon Bassett analyses on six players in the middle for is leading the PAGES 4-5
- 24. SUNDAY F Ga., to California wine country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 JANUARY 29, 2006 n :Desig mile TICKET TO WRITE w ith a S ∑ ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ Friends ∑ volunteer for turn Find a visual way in Turin Many Americans will travel to Italy to express how next month to watch the Winter Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, something feels. skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby ∑ will be volunteers at the Olympic Village in Turin. The two part-time ∑ teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. ‘‘They really want STEVE us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also wanted a working background in Ital- ian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language Cupid’s road map Ten romantic destina- tions — from Savannah, ∑ and felt ready to put their linguistic SUNDAY F skills to a big test. And both had Ga., to California wine country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 JANUARY 29, 2006 TICKET TO WRITE always wanted to see an Olympics. ∑ Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t ∑ Information on ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH young, like most the Turin Olympic ∑ Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ Friends of the volun- and Paralympic ∑ volunteer for turn teers,’’ Pentak games is available at in Turin Many Americans will travel to Italy next month to watch the Winter said. www.torino2006.org. Pentak is 54. Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby Busby would ∑ will be volunteers at the Olympic Village say only that she’s a grandmother. in Turin. The two part-time ∑ teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. STEVE ‘‘They really want us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of wanted a working background in Ital- ian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language and felt ready to put their linguistic 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pen- skills to a big test. And both had always wanted to see an Olympics. Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t tak said. ∑ Information on young, like most the Turin Olympic The friends will have to pay their ∑ of the volun- and Paralympic teers,’’ Pentak games is available at said. www.torino2006.org. own expenses except for meals, on- Pentak is 54. Busby would say only that she’s a grandmother. ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pen- tak said. The friends will have to pay their own expenses except for meals, on- site transportation and uniforms. site transportation and uniforms. ‘‘And we have to pay to see the ‘‘And we have to pay to see the events, so of course we’ve budgeted lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come by. Turin has yet to sell out more than ∑ a few events. ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of events, so of course we’ve budgeted time, but I wanted to be available for volunteering whenever they wanted me.’’ And she wants to do a little star- gazing, too. lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come So long, maps ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’ But a volunteer has certain respon- sibilities, one of which is to make the by. Turin has yet to sell out more than ∑ athletes feel at home in Olympic Vil- lage. a few events. ‘‘They told us we can’t pull out our cameras, can’t ask for autographs Stories by Bill Eichenberger THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Pocket-size computer while we’re on duty. But outside the village we can. So I’m still going to helps New York visitor have my camera on me.’’ ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ ou are here. Pulling off their working vacation Nothing makes the proclamation more took the women several years of plan- clearly than a Global Positioning System My editor thought it would be fun to ning. send me to New York to find my way They signed up on the Turin receiver. Pentak said. around using only a hand-held GPS. Olympic Web site in 2004, then visited Sure, a map in the mall will reveal that I found many practical reasons to Turin together that summer for a two- you are in front of Macy’s and that Brookstone navigate with the tool, a 5-inch-by-2.8- week language immersion experience. is three doors down, but if you move, the sign stays put. inch Garmin iQue M3. ‘‘While we were there, we went to Small enough to fit in your hand, the meet the head (Olympics) volunteer Where are you now? And where is Sears? Enter the GPS. The beauty of the device GPS devices help tourists navigate ‘‘pocket PC’’ is also part digital assistant, able to keep schedules, send e-mail and amuse with games. But my favorite reason for using the coordinator,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘She told us, ‘We need you. We want you. We need English-(speaking) volunteers.’ ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of unfamiliar places — iQue to get around Manhattan’s Upper ‘‘We stayed in a pension, mostly — which is gaining ground throughout the United States in automobiles — is and look cool West Side had to do with vanity. The electronic device is discreet, unlike the unwieldy street map that screams ‘‘Tourist!’’ (Conversely, nothing occupied by students, and no one there or in the neighborhood spoke English, so we got plenty of practice in Italian. And we’re staying in the very time, but I wanted to be available for that it moves with a user, constantly updating his volunteering whenever they wanted screams ‘‘Urban sophisticate!’’ like an same place when we go back. whereabouts. electronic gadget.) ‘‘My husband (Steve) and I love Getting lost is pretty difficult when the little voice on I had been to Manhattan several Italy; so do Nancy and her husband. times without ever getting out of Mid- I’d started learning on my own so I the dash keeps telling you where to turn. Even if you town. I had heard of the famous places could have traveler’s Italian down pat. miss an intersection, it will adjust. ‘‘Off course. Recalculating.’’ For years, GPS technology has helped hikers, — from Greenwich Village and China- town to Harlem — but couldn’t point them out on a map or even tell east from west. I’m past that at this point.’’ Busby and her husband, Hank, had taken a nine-month sabbatical to Turin in 1998 and 1999. me.’’ boaters and others keep their bearings, so it was only And she wants to do a little star- Armed with a $533.32 iQue (on loan), I ‘‘I didn’t know the language then, but I said I’m going to learn before I See GPS Page F2 See NEW YORK Page F2 go back,’’ Busby said. During that trip, she walked much of the city, exploring the museums, CHARLIE ZIMKUS | DISPATCH restaurants and shops. See STEPHENS Page F2 gazing, too. ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. 01/29 TRAVEL, PAGE F1 Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’ But a volunteer has certain respon-
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- 29. country — entice for Valentine’s Day | F4 SUNDAY JANUARY 29, 2006 F n :Desig mile TICKET TO WRITE w ith a S ∑ ∑ STEVE STEPHENS | DISPATCH Debbie Pentak, left, and Nancy Busby will work — and stargaze — at the Olympic Village. ∑ Friends ∑ volunteer for turn in Turin Many Americans will travel to Italy next month to watch the Winter Olympics. But two Worthington women will be more than spectators, although they won’t be skating, skiing or curling. Debbie Pentak and Nancy Busby ∑ will be volunteers at the Olympic Village in Turin. The two part-time ∑ teachers signed up for the job more than two years ago. ‘‘They really want STEVE us for our English, S T E P H E N S fortunately,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘But they also wanted a working background in Ital- ian.’’ Both women have traveled to Italy to become capable in the language and felt ready to put their linguistic skills to a big test. And both had always wanted to see an Olympics. Both are also unusual volunteers. ‘‘My friend and I aren’t ∑ Information on young, like most the Turin Olympic ∑ of the volun- and Paralympic teers,’’ Pentak games is available at said. www.torino2006.org. Pentak is 54. Busby would say only that she’s a grandmother. ‘‘And only about 15 percent out of 20,000 (volunteers) are foreign,’’ Pen- tak said. The friends will have to pay their own expenses except for meals, on- site transportation and uniforms. ‘‘And we have to pay to see the events, so of course we’ve budgeted lots of money for that,’’ Pentak said. Tickets shouldn’t be hard to come by. Turin has yet to sell out more than ∑ a few events. ‘‘I’m not worried about tickets,’’ Pentak said. ‘‘I could have bought them ahead of time, but I wanted to be available for volunteering whenever they wanted me.’’ And she wants to do a little star- gazing, too. ‘‘I’m hoping I’ll see a lot of athletes. Who doesn’t want to see Bode Miller and Michelle Kwan? And the Italian athletes — I figured I should get to know them, too.’’
- 30. n :Desig mile w ith a S 3) Make a game of it.
- 31. With the 126th session of the Ohio legislature only a week old, it’s the perfect time to explain some fundamentals for new state senators and representatives, and for those needing a refresher course. n Here’s how the game is played: You be the bill. Take turns flipping an Ohio bicentennial quarter. :Desig mile Heads: Advance 1 space. Tails: Advance 2 spaces. The first player to become a law wins. lleonard@dispatch.com | czimkus@dispatch.com ith a S S TA R T S TA R T w In textbooks There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for novices — you are a bill trying to become a law through the textbook legislative process. The method might sound familiar if you paid attention in You begin as an idea, born in the mind of one of Ohio’s 99 lawmak- ers in the House or You begin as an idea, born in the mind of legislative leaders from the majority political R In the ReaL WoRL In the real worldd There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for advanced players — you are a bill trying to become a law through Ohio’s legisla- tive process as it really happens. The method might sound familiar if school or during Schoolhouse Rocks. 33 in the Senate. party. Your success you pay attention to the news or during The West Wing. is assured. Advance 2 spaces. You begin as an idea, born in the mind of a The Legislative The Reference Committee sends you to a The Legislative Service legislator from the minority political party. Service Commission, standing committee that is best able to deal Commission, the staff Your defeat is probable. If you are very the staff attorneys You are handed with your particular subject. (They include attorneys for the House good, however, you will be kidnapped by for the House and to a freshman The standing the agriculture, health and education and Senate, draft you the majority and passed under its name. Senate, draft you legislator who has committee has committees.) into bill form. Otherwise, wait for the next election year. into bill form. just won a tough public hearings about you, race costing the receiving party hundreds of testimony from thousands of dol- proponents, Committee members thoughtfully Sorry. lars. If the fresh- opponents and listen to the testimony, weigh it Each committee The committee man gets you other interest- and make amendments. member considers the didn’t find The Reference Committee passed into law, ed parties. Wait 1 turn. evidence presented you worthy of The legislative refers you to a ‘‘stacked’’ he or she will and votes his or her becoming a law. leaders are in a standing committee that will have an accom- conscience. Go back to START hurry. Advance pass or kill you based on plishment to take and try again. 7 spaces after the wishes of the speaker or into the next one perfunctory campaign. Explain a complex You are a Senate president. bill popular with hearing. Columbus lobbyists. Sorry. The Rules You are sent to the Congratulations! The standing commit- Committee ruled Rules Committee, which The committee found tee chairman waits to schedule your topic in a fun, Congratulations! against you. carefully considers whether you were worthy of The Rules Go back to START to schedule you for a vote becoming a law. hearing for the day Committee likes and try again. of the full House or Senate. Advance 1 space. of several fund- you. In fact, it’s raisers held by Good news! important com- You’re sent to the placing you on The party leader- mittee members, Rules Committee, where the the calendar to interactive way. speaker or president makes out a ship gently informs be the subject of thus providing an members that unless they incentive for calendar and asks the committee debate during a Sorry. They follow the leader by voting Lawmakers pay The full lobbyists to members to ratify it. session of the didn’t think you for you, they can expect House or Senate. keen attention legislative were worthy of attend the no help in the next Advance during debate. body votes becoming a law. fund-raisers. campaign. Wait 1 turn. on you. Congratulations! Wait 2 turns. 1 space. Go back You passed one Advance 1 space. to START. chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back 12 spaces to the It’s finally time for other chamber, your hearing. Com- The differences The House and Senate cannot agree The House and The committee where the process mittee members are worked out on your specifics. A joint six-member Senate agree: votes on you, with is repeated. run in and out of in conference conference committee is appointed to You should be each member tak- the room, attending committee and negotiate the points of difference a law. ing into considera- other meetings you go to the between the two chambers. Advance tion whether it will scheduled at the governor. Wait 1 turn. 2 spaces. help or hurt at the same time. You’re placed next election. on the calendar to be the subject of Lobbyists hand Sorry. The governor The indecisive debate during a committee members vetoes you. Go back governor lets you sit on session of the amendments to try A couple of knowledgeable committee to START. If 3/5 his desk for 10 days. House or Senate. to change you. members meet with party leadership of both chambers You become a law — and sometimes with lobbyists — to override the veto, you without his signature. rewrite you into a bill that will pass and ∑ Dressing for less Because of global trade, Americans are C paying far lower prices make everybody equally mad. SUNDAY for clothing than they did 10 years ago | C3 JANUARY 9, 2005 become a law. Advance 2 spaces. Party leadership How a bill (really) becomes a law postpones your By Lee Leonard and Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH debate until after the dinner hour, With the 126th session of the Ohio legislature only a week old, it’s the perfect time to explain some fundamentals for new state senators and representatives, and for those needing a refresher course. Here’s how the game is played: You be the bill. Take turns flipping an Ohio bicentennial quarter. Heads: Advance 1 space. Tails: Advance 2 spaces. The first player to become a law wins. lleonard@dispatch.com | czimkus@dispatch.com The governor so fund-raisers S TA R T S TA R T signs you. can proceed. R In the ReaL WoRL In the real worldd In textbooks There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for novices — you are a bill trying to become a law through the textbook legislative You begin as an idea, born in the mind of one of Ohio’s 99 lawmak- You begin as an idea, born in the mind of legislative leaders from the There are two ways to play the game. In this version — for advanced players — you are a bill trying to become a law through Ohio’s legisla- Advance Wait 1 turn. process. The method might sound familiar if you paid attention in ers in the House or majority political tive process as it really happens. The method might sound familiar if 1 space. The postponement Debate is limited school or during Schoolhouse Rocks. 33 in the Senate. party. Your success you pay attention to the news or during The West Wing. is assured. Advance 2 spaces. The Reference Committee sends you to a standing committee that is best able to deal The Legislative Service Commission, the staff You begin as an idea, born in the mind of a legislator from the minority political party. The Legislative Service Commission, lasts until late in the by the speaker Debate is evening, when leadership or president. dragged out by Your defeat is probable. If you are very the staff attorneys You are handed with your particular subject. (They include attorneys for the House good, however, you will be kidnapped by for the House and to a freshman The standing the agriculture, health and education and Senate, draft you the majority and passed under its name. Senate, draft you legislator who has committee has committees.) into bill form. Otherwise, wait for the next election year. into bill form. just won a tough public hearings about you, receiving testimony from proponents, Committee members thoughtfully Sorry. race costing the party hundreds of thousands of dol- lars. If the fresh- hopes lazy reporters have Advance the windy orations opponents and other interest- ed parties. listen to the testimony, weigh it and make amendments. Wait 1 turn. Each committee member considers the evidence presented and votes his or her The committee didn’t find you worthy of becoming a law. The legislative leaders are in a The Reference Committee refers you to a ‘‘stacked’’ standing committee that will man gets you passed into law, he or she will have an accom- FINISH called it a night. 2 spaces. of sleep-inducing conscience. Go back to START and try again. hurry. Advance 7 spaces after one perfunctory pass or kill you based on the wishes of the speaker or plishment to take into the next campaign. Wait 2 turns. solons. The timid governor You are a Senate president. hearing. The governor bill popular with Sorry. The Rules You are sent to the Congratulations! Columbus lobbyists. The standing commit- Wait 1 turn. Congratulations! Committee ruled against you. Rules Committee, which carefully considers whether The committee found you were worthy of tee chairman waits to schedule your signs you. doesn’t support you, but You’re an You’re The Rules Go back to START to schedule you for a vote becoming a law. hearing for the day Committee likes and try again. of the full House or Senate. Advance 1 space. of several fund- you. In fact, it’s placing you on the calendar to be the subject of raisers held by important com- mittee members, thus providing an You’re sent to the Rules Committee, where the speaker or president makes out a Good news! The party leader- ship gently informs members that unless they Advance he’s afraid the legislature would important bill, so lawmakers pay incentive for calendar and asks the committee debate during a override his veto. He lets you sit on Sorry. They follow the leader by voting a law! Lawmakers pay The full lobbyists to members to ratify it. session of the 1 space. didn’t think you for you, they can expect House or Senate. keen attention legislative were worthy of attend the no help in the next Advance during debate. body votes becoming a law. fund-raisers. campaign. Congratulations! keen attention 1 space. Wait 1 turn. on you. Wait 2 turns. Advance 1 space. his desk for 10 days and become a Go back You passed one to START. chamber of the Ohio legislature. Go back The differences are worked out The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint six-member The House and Senate agree: 12 spaces to the other chamber, where the process is repeated. It’s finally time for your hearing. Com- mittee members run in and out of The committee votes on you, with each member tak- law without his signature. during debate. in conference conference committee is appointed to You should be the room, attending Advance 2 spaces. committee and negotiate the points of difference a law. ing into considera- other meetings you go to the between the two chambers. Advance tion whether it will scheduled at the governor. Wait 1 turn. 2 spaces. help or hurt at the same time. You’re placed next election. on the calendar to be the subject of Lobbyists hand Sorry. The governor The indecisive debate during a committee members vetoes you. Go back governor lets you sit on session of the amendments to try A couple of knowledgeable committee to START. If 3/5 his desk for 10 days. House or Senate. to change you. members meet with party leadership of both chambers override the veto, you become a law. You become a law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. — and sometimes with lobbyists — to rewrite you into a bill that will pass and make everybody equally mad. You’re a typical bill, Party leadership postpones your debate until after the dinner hour, Sorry. The gover- so most lawmakers The governor signs you. Advance so fund-raisers can proceed. Wait 1 turn. The postponement Debate is limited nor vetoes you. talk to each other, Go back to 1 space. lasts until late in the by the speaker Debate is evening, when leadership hopes lazy reporters have or president. Advance dragged out by the windy orations operate laptops, START. If 3/5 of FINISH called it a night. 2 spaces. of sleep-inducing You’re The governor signs you. Advance The timid governor doesn’t support you, but he’s afraid the legislature would Wait 2 turns. solons. Wait 1 turn. You’re an important bill, so Congratulations! You go to the members’ passed one chamber of the Ohio both chambers override his veto. He lets you sit on lawmakers pay a law! 1 space. his desk for 10 days and become a keen attention law without his signature. Advance 2 spaces. during debate. lounge and talk on Sorry. The gover- nor vetoes you. You’re a typical bill, so most lawmakers talk to each other, The House and legislature. Go back 21 spaces override the their cell phones. veto, you become Go back to to the other chamber, where the operate laptops, Congratulations! You START. If 3/5 of Senate agree: They already know go to the members’ passed one chamber of the Ohio both chambers lounge and talk on The House and legislature. Go back 21 spaces override the their cell phones. a law. to the other chamber, where the veto, you become process is repeated. Senate agree: They already know process is repeated. a law. You should be a law. You should be a law. how they’re going to Advance 4 spaces. You arrive on vote without listen- ing, although some- times they have to ask, ‘‘What are we how they’re going to The House and Senate cannot agree on your specifics. A joint The full legislative body votes on the bill. the governor’s desk. voting on?’’ Some lawmakers miss Advance 4 spaces. vote without listen- six-member confer- ence committee is appointed to nego- tiate the points of A majority member moves to “lay the amendment on the table,’’ killing it without a recorded vote on its Minority members Majority legislators amend something onto the roll call, but they’re allowed to register their votes with the clerk. ing, although some- times they have to difference between The conference substance. Those opposing a good you that they forgot, propose like another bill that the chambers. committee negotiates more than amendment can do so without being amend- You arrive on Wait 1 turn. the points of difference and sticks on record against something couldn’t get passed The conference ments, too. on its own. in items not previously discussed. constructive. Advance ask, ‘‘What are we committee works out Advance 1 space. a settlement before the 1 space. the governor’s conferees ever meet. The full Advance 2 spaces. The House and voting on?’’ Senate cannot legislative body desk. 01/09 INSIGHT, PAGE C1 agree on your votes on the bill. specifics. A joint Some lawmakers miss six-member confer- A majority the roll call, but they’re ence committee is member moves to allowed to register their appointed to nego- “lay the amendment on the Majority legislators votes with the clerk. Minority amend something onto tiate the points of table,’’ killing it without a recorded vote on its
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PubDate: 11-27-07 Page: 8 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: pmarshal K Y M Color:C n :Desig mile D8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM ith a S DEMOCRATS w (1) (5) + + + + (2) (6) + + + + (3) (7) + + + (4) (8) + THESIDE Make the FLIP readers work a little, and NAME THAT CANDIDATE Sound it out, then say it faster ( ) reward them Story and illustrations by Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH With the Ohio presidential primary just more than three months away, dedicated (and slow- for it. learning) Flip Side readers should start their homework now. π Eight major candidates from each political party are vying for attention. π Which means plenty of evaded questions, estranged children and $400 haircuts. π So the least that voters can do is learn their names. π Today, The Flip Side — calling everyone “dude” since 2004 — offers a collection of pictograms to help voters remember those monikers. π Decipher each one to guess the candidate. π Then start name- dropping — quickly — before candidates in the field of 16 start dropping out. czimkus@dispatch.com PubDate: 11-27-07 Page: 8 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: pmarshal Color:C K Y M REPUBLICANS D8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2007 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM (9) (14) DEMOCRATS (1) (5) (2) + + + + + + (6) + + + + + + (3) (7) + + + (10) (15) (4) (8) + THE + SIDE FLIP NAME THAT CANDIDATE + Sound it out, then say it faster ( ) Story and illustrations by Charlie Zimkus THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH With the Ohio presidential primary just more than three months away, dedicated (and slow- learning) Flip Side readers should start their homework now. π Eight major candidates from each political party are vying for attention. π Which means plenty of evaded questions, estranged (11) (16) children and $400 haircuts. π So the least that voters can do is learn their names. π Today, The Flip Side — calling everyone “dude” since 2004 — offers a collection of pictograms to help voters remember those monikers. π Decipher each one to guess the candidate. π Then start name- dropping — quickly — before candidates in the field of 16 start dropping out. + czimkus@dispatch.com + REPUBLICANS (9) (14) + + + + (10) (15) + + (11) (16) (12) + + INDEPENDENT + + + (12) INDEPENDENT (17) + + + (17) + + + + + + (13) + TRANSLATIONS 1. Barack Obama; 2. Hillary Clinton; 3. Dennis Kucinich; 4. Bill Richardson; 5. John Edwards; 6. Chris Dodd; 7. Joe Biden; 8. Mike Gravel; 9. Mike Huckabee; 10. Rudolph Giuliani; 11. Duncan Hunter; 12. Tom Tancredo; 13. John McCain; 14. Ron Paul; 15. Mitt Romney; 16. Fred Thompson; 17. Joe Blundo (13) PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays ON THE WEB - To pop off about today’s Despite sabotaged gown, 59 ,James Avery, actor People column, visit Dispatch.com/ beauty queen wins crown (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) flipside and click on Popping Off. + Organizers are investigating who 52 ,Bill Nye, TV host doused Ingrid Marie Rivera’s evening gown with pepper spray and spiked her makeup, causing her to break out in hives. Despite (Bill Nye, the Science Guy) 51 ,William Fichtner, actor (Prison Break) Man of Steel seals deal Superman Returns star Brandon Routh tied the knot with longtime girlfriend Courtney Ford on TRANSLATIONS the prank, Rivera beat 29 rivals to 50 ,Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg Saturday in Santa Barbara, Calif. become Puerto Rico’s 2008 Miss Universe contestant. She was com- 39 ,Michael Vartan, actor (Big Shots) Love note 1. Barack Obama; 2. Hillary Clinton; 3. Dennis Kucinich; 4. Bill Richardson; HOW TO REACH US posed while appearing before 31 ,Jaleel White, actor (Family Paul McCartney and actress 5. John Edwards; 6. Chris Dodd; 7. Joe Biden; 8. Mike Gravel; 9. Mike Huckabee; judges. But once backstage, she Rosanna Arquette are an item, had to strip off her clothes and Matters) according to Britain’s News of the FLIP SIDE EDITOR apply ice bags to her face and body. World. Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 10. Rudolph Giuliani; 11. Duncan Hunter; 12. Tom Tancredo; 13. John McCain; sberry@dispatch.com Is Dennis a menace? RICARDO DIAZ SERRANO ASSOCIATED PRESS (Fla.) Times reporter who called Stork report Sara Robinson, a former man- Beauty among the beasts: pageant him for comment. “I’m kind of Zac Hanson, the youngest of the - We welcome your comments, ager at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las winner Ingrid Marie Rivera, right shocked,” Hogan was quoted as Hanson trio, and his wife, Kate, are complaints and kudos. Vegas, has sued Dennis Rodman, saying. “You caught me off guard.” expecting their first child in May. E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com Fax ...........................614-559-1754 Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch claiming that the ex-NBA star assaulted her in March 2006 by rubbing against her and slapping finished her memoirs after 11⁄2 years at the keyboard, TV Guide reports. Hulk is ready to sulk Could be a lost cause Lost star Daniel Dae Kim, the Fake story du jour From the Onion Radio News: 14. Ron Paul; 15. Mitt Romney; 16. Fred Thompson; 17. Joe Blundo 34 S. 3rd St. her buttocks. third cast member to get busted for “Civil War Enthusiasts Burn Columbus, OH 43215 Hulk Hogan’s wife of 24 years, allegedly mixing an open bottle Atlanta to Ground” Look out, Star and Rosie Linda Marie Bollea, has filed for with an open road, has pleaded not The Flip Side: on the tip of your Barbara Walters announced divorce — a fact the wrestler appar- guilty to a charge of driving under — Compiled by Steve Berry tongue. yesterday on The View that she has ently learned from a St. Petersburg the influence. sberry@dispatch.com 11-27-07 PAGE D8 PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays ON THE WEB - To pop off about today’s Despite sabotaged gown, 59 ,James Avery, actor People column, visit Dispatch.com/
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- 37. PubDate: 02-08-07 Section: Life Page: 8 C Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Time: 02/07 21:10 Size: Broadsheet K Y M Color:C n :Desig mile C8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2007 WWW.DISPATCH.COM GOH! ith a S RANDOM THOUGHTS THE SIDE w Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings you Get Outta the House! — advice on what to do, see and experience. FLIP Little recalls - Go early and stay late tonight at the Rumba Cafe, 2507 Summit St. a. b. a. b. a. b. youthful glow The Spikedrivers will take the stage at 6, followed at 9:30 by Canta Brasil. A $5 cover will buy you the like snow right to see both, leaving plenty of As snow blanketed city sidewalks this cash for a round or three of icy-cool week, I grabbed my gray hooded sweat caipirinhas. Just saying. For more Kevin Hugh Billy Costner Hefner Joel shirt and ran out the office door with information, call 614-268-1841. the intent of creating my own two-hour delay. I felt the familiar crunch of accumu- lation beneath my feet, the sting of snowflakes blowing in my face. I walked west on Broad Street looking to catch a Flexible Flyer to childhood. A quiz lets DATE OR Nothing makes me feel young again “Anna and the Annadroids” like snowfall. TOM Not skimming my readers test their - Attend a different kind of dance senior yearbook. Not REED DAUGHTER? party Saturday at Skully’s Music watching ESPN Diner, 1151 N. High St. The dance Classic. Not listening group Anatomical Scenario will to Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan. knowledge and perform “Anna and the Anna- droids,” in which our skimpily clad heroines “go on a journey of being programmed and reprogrammed to I feel like playing street hockey and calling old neighbors to re-enact the 1950 Ohio State-Michigan football game. I aspire to build a snow fort the come to their own shop, despite their various attempts to rebel toward freedom.” The fun, supported by a Greater Columbus Arts Council grant, will When a beautiful young woman is on the arm size of the Statehouse. That’s what it meant to grow up in my neighborhood 30 years before Xbox enabled kids to snowboard without, conclusions. begin at 10 p.m. Call 614-291- 8856. - Dateless on Valentine’s Day? Go solo or with a wingman/woman to of an aging star, people wonder you know, actually going outdoors. Adults see the white stuff and are consumed with negative thoughts: shoveling driveways, juggling sched- the Bitter Ball on Wednesday at By Kristy Eckert ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH a. b. ules, negotiating freeways as icy and W Karma, 303 S. Front St. Live enter- tightly packed as snowballs. tainment, prizes and other bitter e’ve all seen them — the silver-haired men Children see accumulation as a blank singles will help drown the sorrows canvas, a snow day filled with rosy with the fresh-faced blondes by their sides. cheeks and endless possibilities. of missing another opportunity to PubDate: 02-08-07 C8 Section: Life Page: 8 C Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Time: 02/07 21:10 Size: Broadsheet make Hallmark rich. The party, THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2007 K Y M Color:C WWW.DISPATCH.COM We estimate the age difference and whisper Despite indoor amenities, there’s still GOH! hosted by WBNS (97.1 FM), will RANDOM THOUGHTS the question: Daughter or date? 0 It’s one that could something magical about trudging up a Rod THE SIDE Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings FLIP Little recalls hill — noses running, lungs burning — run from 8 to 11 p.m. For more you Get Outta the House! — advice be asked about many famous men. And today, The on what to do, see and experience. youthful glow Stewart a. b. a. b. a. b. - Go early and stay late tonight at and hopping on a sled. the Rumba Cafe, 2507 Summit St. like snow details, visit www.wbnsfm.com. The Spikedrivers will take the stage at 6, followed at 9:30 by Canta Brasil. A $5 cover will buy you the right to see both, leaving plenty of Flip Side is doing it: Can you distinguish between the As snow blanketed city sidewalks this cash for a round or three of icy-cool I hope that kids never lose their Kevin Hugh Billy week, I grabbed my gray hooded sweat caipirinhas. Just saying. For more shirt and ran out the office door with information, call 614-268-1841. Costner Hefner Joel — Nick Chordas the intent of creating my own two-hour delay. I felt the familiar crunch of accumu- fascination with winter, although I lation beneath my feet, the sting of nchordas@dispatch.com daughters and the current or one-time lovers? snowflakes blowing in my face. I walked west on Broad Street looking suspect they have. to catch a Flexible Flyer to childhood. DATE OR Nothing makes me feel young again keckert@dispatch.com “Anna and the Annadroids” like snowfall. A year ago, I found myself in Switzer- TOM Not skimming my - Attend a different kind of dance senior yearbook. Not party Saturday at Skully’s Music REED watching ESPN DAUGHTER? Diner, 1151 N. High St. The dance Classic. Not listening group Anatomical Scenario will to Cheap Trick’s Live at Budokan. land on a holiday after the Winter perform “Anna and the Anna- I feel like playing street hockey and droids,” in which our skimpily clad calling old neighbors to re-enact the heroines “go on a journey of being 1950 Ohio State-Michigan football programmed and reprogrammed to game. I aspire to build a snow fort the shop, despite their various size of the Statehouse. Olympics. I don’t ski, but I rented a sled attempts to rebel toward freedom.” That’s what it meant to grow up in When a beautiful young woman is on the arm a. b. a. b. The fun, supported by a Greater my neighborhood 30 years before Xbox Columbus Arts Council grant, will enabled kids to snowboard without, NEWS OF THE WEIRD begin at 10 p.m. Call 614-291- you know, actually going outdoors. 8856. of an aging star, people wonder Adults see the white stuff and are for $40 and made two terrifying passes - Dateless on Valentine’s Day? Go consumed with negative thoughts: solo or with a wingman/woman to shoveling driveways, juggling sched- the Bitter Ball on Wednesday at By Kristy Eckert ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH a. b. ules, negotiating freeways as icy and W Karma, 303 S. Front St. Live enter- tightly packed as snowballs. tainment, prizes and other bitter e’ve all seen them — the silver-haired men Children see accumulation as a blank canvas, a snow day filled with rosy down a course in the Alps. singles will help drown the sorrows with the fresh-faced blondes by their sides. of missing another opportunity to cheeks and endless possibilities. make Hallmark rich. The party, We estimate the age difference and whisper Despite indoor amenities, there’s still hosted by WBNS (97.1 FM), will the question: Daughter or date? 0 It’s one that could something magical about trudging up a run from 8 to 11 p.m. For more Rod hill — noses running, lungs burning — details, visit www.wbnsfm.com. be asked about many famous men. And today, The Stewart and hopping on a sled. I wiped out repeatedly, once nearly — Nick Chordas Flip Side is doing it: Can you distinguish between the I hope that kids never lose their fascination with winter, although I daughters and the current or one-time lovers? On a personal mission two months nchordas@dispatch.com suspect they have. keckert@dispatch.com A year ago, I found myself in Switzer- land on a holiday after the Winter toppling a group of skiing tots. Soaked, a. b. a. b. Olympics. I don’t ski, but I rented a sled NEWS OF THE WEIRD for $40 and made two terrifying passes ago, Richard Townsend, 24, of down a course in the Alps. On a personal mission two months I wiped out repeatedly, once nearly ago, Richard Townsend, 24, of toppling a group of skiing tots. Soaked, sore and satisfied, I retired to the lodge Britain ate 36 brussels sprouts in sore and satisfied, I retired to the lodge one minute — falling seven short of and returned to reality. Larry Paul Britain ate 36 brussels sprouts in the world record. His training in- This region will never be confused King McCartney with the Snowbelt, much less the Alps. volved eating a plate of brussels sprouts every day for six weeks. That’s why Tuesday was such a treat — save for the snow-challenged drivers. and returned to reality. — Chuck Shepherd My two-hour delay lasted little more Universal Press Syndicate than 30 minutes — just long enough to one minute — falling seven short of numb fingers, toes and the dread of Larry Paul being an adult trapped in a snowstorm. This region will never be confused Tom Reed is a Dispatch reporter. treed@dispatch.com the world record. His training in- King McCartney with the Snowbelt, much less the Alps. a. b. a. b. ANSWERS SPEED BUMP DAVE COVERLY volved eating a plate of brussels Kevin Costner, 52 Paul McCartney, 65 a. wife Christine a. estranged wife Baumgartner, 32 Heather Mills, 39 That’s why Tuesday was such a treat — b. daughter, 20 b. daughter Stella, 35 ADDING UP Howard Donald Hugh Hefner, 80 sprouts every day for six weeks. a. daughter Rod Stewart, 62 Stern Trump Christie, 54 a. fiancee Penny 17.7 billion pounds of milk b. girlfriend Lancaster, 35 save for the snow-challenged drivers. squeezed out of U.S. Holly Madison, 27 b. daughter dairy cows in 2005 Billy Joel, 57 Kimberly, 27 30% surge in the price of a a. daughter Howard Stern, 53 — Chuck Shepherd dozen roses in the Alexa Ray, 21 a. daughter Emily, 23 days preceding Valentine’s Day b. wife Katie Lee, 26 b. girlfriend My two-hour delay lasted little more Larry King, 73 Beth Ostrosky, 34 95% workers who procrasti- nate occasionally a. wife Shawn Southwick, 47 Donald Trump, 61 a. wife Melania, 36 59% Universal Press Syndicate commuters who have b. daughter b. daughter experienced road rage Chaia, 39 Ivanka, 25 42% nonretired American adults who expect to lower their lifestyles in retirement Sources: BusinessWeek, Maxim, Money, PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Barton are still together, according to Adler’s rep, despite Today’s birthdays mer Fabrizio Moretti several weeks ago, says they are just divorce from his wife of two years, Andrea. They have no than 30 minutes — just long enough to numb fingers, toes and the dread of Putnam Investments, SmartMoney reports that the actress friends. children. Teri’s not merry dumped her rocker beau over a 75 ,John Williams, composer Model Isaac Cohen — “No, we’re never getting about Internet dish nude photo of him that and conductor Britney Spears’ steady of two married,” Jim Carrey told Teri Hatcher knows what has surfaced last month. But that’s 67 ,Ted Koppel, former ABC months and her first post-K- Access Hollywood of his been written about her on the not to say that Barton, 21, was News anchorman Fed notch — confirms for OK! romance with Jenny McCarthy. being an adult trapped in a snowstorm. Internet, and she’s setting the thrilled when the picture magazine that he and the pop “But that means we’re never record emerged on the Web site 66 ,Nick Nolte, actor (Hotel tart “are no longer an item.” getting divorced — which is straight: “I ParisExposed.com. “Mischa Rwanda) Married . . . With Children’s fantastic.” don’t use wasn’t too excited, to say the 65 ,Robert Klein, comedian David Faustino has filed for Botox or least,” Adler, 28, told the New 54 ,Mary Steenburgen, actress Are they back in tandem? Restylane, York Observer for yesterday’s (Joan of Arcadia) Mischa Lance Armstrong and Sheryl and I’ve never edition. “So, yeah, I’m going to Barton: Crow got together recently and had any sur- try to keep my pants on from 52 ,John Grisham, author She stands are so friendly that some are gery, no mat- now on.” The photo was 39 ,Gary Coleman, actor by her predicting they’ll start dating ter what among Paris Hilton’s personal (Diff’rent Strokes) naked again, Star magazine says. items sold at auction from a Tom Reed is a Dispatch reporter. you’ve read.” man. Hatcher, 42, storage unit. Late-night host fires HOW TO REACH US told the Brit- ish edition of Teri Hatcher: She’s real, and Mandy Moore says regular-looking person, and missiles at astronaut Infamous astronaut Lisa she’s fantastic. the more the merrier that’s OK. It’s taken awhile to FLIP SIDE EDITOR Glamour for Nowak was the subject of the come to grips with that since, treed@dispatch.com Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 its March Mandy Moore could hardly Top Ten list on Late Show With sberry@dispatch.com issue: “That’s the one downside be considered overweight, but it’s not the norm in my busi- David Letterman. As a caution- to fame: On any one day you she says that working in Holly- ness. But, like, who cares?” ary tale, Dave counted down - We welcome your comments, can find loads of hideously wood made her feel bad about the “Top Ten Signs an Astro- complaints and kudos. mean things said about you her size. “I want to be healthy, Love stories naut Is Trying To Kill You.” Our E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com online. My friend keeps threat- but, in an industry where you Drew Barrymore, who favorites: “She promises to Fax ...........................614-559-1754 ening to put these computer can’t wear a sample size be- hosted Saturday Night Live this ‘take you out like Pluto,’ ” “She child locks on my computer so cause it’s like a zero or a 2, it past weekend, and Scrubs star poisons your Tang” and “She Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch I can’t torture myself.” makes you feel bad about your- Zach Braff “were very into each keeps stabbing you with a pen 34 S. 3rd St. self,” the singer and actress, 22, other” at the SNL after-party at that writes upside down.” Columbus, OH 43215 Mischa not wowed told Seventeen for its March club Sapa, the New York Post The Flip Side: We’ve always been by nekkid Cisco Kid issue. “I’m not like a toothpick, reports. A rep for Barrymore, — Compiled by Steve Berry mama’s boys. Cisco Adler and Mischa and I never will be. I’m just a who split from Strokes drum- sberry@dispatch.com WEATHER CLOSINGS AND DELAYS: James Thurber High School: Closed . . . Jym Ganahl Middle School: Closed . . . St. Bernard School: One-hour delay. Students are reminded to wear casks of brandy around necks . . . Bob Ney Middle School: Closed for rehabilitation . . . School of Old Codgers: No bus transportation. Students must walk barefoot, 3 miles, uphill . . . New Albany School for the Poor: Closed until someone poor moves in . . . Pickerington Procrastinators: Two-week delay . . . Iraq War Optimists: Closed because both members quit . . . Global Warming Believers: Postponed until temperatures climb above freezing . . . 02-08-07 PAGE C8 a. b. a. b. ANSWERS SPEED BUMP DAVE COVERLY Kevin Costner, 52 Paul McCartney, 65 a. wife Christine a. estranged wife Baumgartner, 32 Heather Mills, 39 b. daughter, 20 b. daughter
- 38. n :Desig mile w ith a S 4) Get others to play along.
- 39. white T-shirt and blends well, they’re adorable. But we know that these costumes are Beware of excessive into the sleeves of the imbibing while in cos- red shirt. more fitting for adults. ¶ How many youngsters, after all, want to tume. Should you pass n trick-or-treat as a slot machine? :Desig mile - Make an arrow out of out, you might wake up construction paper, jblundo@dispatch.com in a biomedical waste poster board or wood to bin. ith a S hold in one hand. HOW TO MAKE IT: 2 3 - For the syringe, find a w 2) EMERALD ASH plastic trash can large BORER enough to slide over your head and shoulders. If you want to masquer- ade as something that - Remove the bottom threatens peace of mind, and cut two holes in the a certain bug is more side for your arms. eye-catching than either - Cover the can with traffic circles or the Penn white paper and make State Nittany Lions. syringe gradations with Keep in mind, however, black tape or a marker. that the borer isn’t - Add a bottom rim exactly beloved in some made of poster board or newly barren neigh- construction paper. borhoods. - For the needle, stick a Your party hosts might dowel into the narrow express their dislike by end of a funnel. serving you a plate of - Attach string that can firewood. be tied under your chin as with a hat. Choose the HOW TO MAKE IT: - Find a plastic mixing bowl that fits your head. 5) KATE GOSSELIN best way to - Make large eyes out of If you can’t avoid her — black construction paper and you can’t — you or felt, and stick them to might as well imitate her. the bowl. execute an It says something about - Use strips of construc- her ubiquity that sug- tion paper or felt for the gesting her presence antennae; bend them at takes only a few well- idea. Photos their base to make them stand up. Attach them to the bowl with duct tape. placed strands of hair and a clutch of dolls. (If a friend wants to go as are often best. - The rest of the cos- future ex-husband Jon, 4 5 simply split the babies tume consists of an old towel with a hole cut in it and snarl at each other for your head, a pair of from across the room.) wings made of poster To top off the look, be board and a few twigs to sure to carry some dirty hold as an appetizer. laundry to air. PubDate: 10-24-09 Page: 1 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: jbrinksn K Y M Color:C HOW TO MAKE IT: LIFEARTS SLOT MACHINE 3) D SATURDAY OCTOBER 24, 2009 - Buy a mop head made A salvo for Soupy Coming Monday Online VOLUMINOUS VAMPIRES FILM REVIEW: ‘AMELIA’ Is there a pop-culture glut? You’ll be sure to attract Television loses a true star ,D3 Dispatch.com/reeltalk of cotton yarn. A COSTUMEtrigger—an Issue 3 attention not to men- tion PARTY - Put it on someone’s 1) 401(K) that the box can be slipped over your head. After months of frighten- ing charts featuring only - Cover the box with downward arrows, we’re white paper. finally starting to see - Using construction head, unless you have a some upward movement paper, markers and in our retirement ac- crayons, decorate the counts. box to suggest a slot This costume has the Five timely do-it-yourself ideas machine. (Three squares debate — when you show situation covered no with fruit in them get the matter what the stock 1 for Halloween get-ups idea across.) mannequin handy. market does: Simply - Complete the look with change the position of a red stocking cap. your arms to reflect how By Joe Blundo | THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH S dressed as a one- rich or poor you are at up the moment. ure, you could buy a Kate Gosselin costume for Hallow- 4) FLU SHOT een. ¶ But, hey, we’ve suffered a recession: Let’s get cre- You’ll certainly look HOW TO MAKE IT: ative. ¶ Today, we present five costumes you can make sharp in this costume. - Trim it to mimic the - Pair a short-sleeved at home. Granted, they might require a quick trip to the And, given the long wait white T-shirt with a for the real H1N1 flu long-sleeved red shirt. store; but you’re still likely to save money. ¶ In dreaming up the armed bandit. vaccine, you might just - Use red duct tape to suggestions, we sought to go beyond the obvious pop-culture find people lining up for form a squiggle that runs candidates (but we couldn’t pass up Gosselin, of the all-too-real your services. Be sure to across the front of the Jon Kate Plus 8). ¶ We used children as our models because, charge a co-pay! signature Gosselin hair- white T-shirt and blends well, they’re adorable. But we know that these costumes are Beware of excessive into the sleeves of the imbibing while in cos- red shirt. more fitting for adults. ¶ How many youngsters, after all, want to tume. Should you pass - Make an arrow out of trick-or-treat as a slot machine? out, you might wake up Whether you offer a construction paper, jblundo@dispatch.com in a biomedical waste bin. do — an asymmetrical, poster board or wood to hold in one hand. HOW TO MAKE IT: 2 3 - For the syringe, find a 2) EMERALD ASH plastic trash can large payout is up to you. BORER enough to slide over your long-hair-over-one-eye head and shoulders. If you want to masquer- ade as something that - Remove the bottom threatens peace of mind, and cut two holes in the a certain bug is more side for your arms. eye-catching than either - Cover the can with white paper and make cut with a pouf of shorter traffic circles or the Penn A caution: For now, State Nittany Lions. syringe gradations with Keep in mind, however, black tape or a marker. that the borer isn’t - Add a bottom rim exactly beloved in some made of poster board or newly barren neigh- construction paper. casino gambling remains hair at the back. borhoods. - For the needle, stick a Your party hosts might dowel into the narrow express their dislike by end of a funnel. serving you a plate of - Attach string that can firewood. be tied under your chin illegal in Ohio. (Don’t get HOW TO MAKE IT: as with a hat. - Add sunglasses, a - Find a plastic mixing bowl that fits your head. 5) KATE GOSSELIN - Make large eyes out of If you can’t avoid her — black construction paper and you can’t — you yourself confiscated by or felt, and stick them to might as well imitate her. the bowl. large purse and eight It says something about - Use strips of construc- her ubiquity that sug- tion paper or felt for the gesting her presence antennae; bend them at takes only a few well- the authorities.) their base to make them placed strands of hair stand up. Attach them to and a clutch of dolls. (If dolls. the bowl with duct tape. a friend wants to go as - The rest of the cos- future ex-husband Jon, 4 5 simply split the babies tume consists of an old towel with a hole cut in it and snarl at each other for your head, a pair of from across the room.) wings made of poster To top off the look, be board and a few twigs to sure to carry some dirty HOW TO MAKE IT: hold as an appetizer. laundry to air. HOW TO MAKE IT: 3) SLOT MACHINE - Buy a mop head made You’ll be sure to attract of cotton yarn. Dispatch artists Charlie attention — not to men- - Put it on someone’s tion trigger an Issue 3 head, unless you have a debate — when you show mannequin handy. - Find a large box. up dressed as a one- armed bandit. - Trim it to mimic the Zimkus, Patrick Kastner and signature Gosselin hair- Whether you offer a do — an asymmetrical, payout is up to you. long-hair-over-one-eye A caution: For now, cut with a pouf of shorter casino gambling remains hair at the back. illegal in Ohio. (Don’t get - Add sunglasses, a Lea Delaveris contributed to - Cut a hole in the top yourself confiscated by large purse and eight the authorities.) dolls. HOW TO MAKE IT: this effort. Dispatch artists Charlie - Find a large box. Zimkus, Patrick Kastner and Lea Delaveris contributed to - Cut a hole in the top for your head and a this effort. for your head and a Special thanks to our young smaller hole in the side models: 1. Amelia Weiker for one arm. 2. Sophie Minister 3. Sylvia Special thanks to our young Rinderle 4. Daniel Kastner - Remove the bottom so 5. Eleanor Weiker. smaller SPEAKING VOLUMESin the side hole JONATHAN QUILTER DISPATCH PHOTOS First Person is a weekly forum for personal musings models: 1. Amelia Weiker for one arm. and reflections from readers. 2. Sophie Minister 3. Sylvia Once a month, we check in on the 4. True Compass, Edward M. FIRST PERSON supply and demand at the Columbus Kennedy Metropolitan Library: 5. The Weight of Silence, Heather From front porch, world glides past Gudenkauf Rinderle 4. Daniel Kastner TOP BUYS FOR NOVEMBER NEW SCRAPBOOK TITLES - Remove the bottom so 1. The Lacuna, Barbara Kingsolver Not long ago, I saw an advertise- won best wooden floor freshly painted a 2. Under the Dome, Stephen King 1. Cut, Crop Die: A Kiki ment for a retro glider in a flier arrangement at high-gloss gray. The bushes in 3. I, Alex Cross, James Patterson Lowenstein Scrap-n-Craft Mystery, 5. Eleanor Weiker. from a do-it-yourself chain. the flower exhibi- front were low enough to allow for Joanna Campbell Slan It reminded me of the old red tion or that the an unobstructed view of the street 4. Breathless, Dean Koontz 2. Hand Lettering: Simple, Cre- glider that graced the front porch AP had pork and of passers-by on the sidewalk. 5. Going Rogue: An American Life, ative Styles for Cards, Scrapbooks of my grandparents’ house in chops on sale for Grandma and Grandpa often Sarah Palin More, Marci Donley DeAnn Circleville. 29 cents a welcomed company on the porch. Singh In warm weather, my grand- pound.) And the Family and friends indulged in RESERVES ON THE RISE parents sat on the porch to watch music was more lively conversation and always- 3. Joy of Scrapbooking, Lisa the cars go by on busy Main Street. CINDY easy-listening fresh coffee. The kids were treated 1. My Life in France, Julia Child Bearnson with Alex Prud’homme Grandpa sat in his chair and KIENER than rock ’n’ roll. regularly to Archway oatmeal 4. ScrapBook Secrets: Shortcuts Grandma on the glider, their radio Still, my grand- cookies and glasses of milk. 2. That Old Cape Magic, Richard Solutions Every Scrapbooker JONATHAN QUILTER DISPATCH PHOTOS tuned to a nearby station. parents tuned in daily, quite happy When I grew old enough to Russo Needs To Know, Kimber McGray As a kid in the 1960s and ’70s, I with their selection. drink coffee, I still had to have a 3. Spartan Gold: A Fargo Adven- 5. Outstanding Mini Albums: found the news boring. (I certainly The porch was bordered on two ture, Clive Cussler with Grant 50 Ideas for Creating Mini Scrap- didn’t care that Mrs. Sue Robson sides by wide white rails, the old See FIRST PERSON Page D2 Blackwood books, Jessica Acs 10-24-09 PAGE D1 First Person is a weekly forum for personal musings
- 40. n :Desig mile ith a S $1.00 TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 :: SECTION E w Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “The Nuthouse” — should have plenty to cheer about this year during the NCAA Tournament. Led by senior David Lighty, bottom, the Buckeyes are the tournament’s No. 1 overall seed and will open March Madness on Friday in Cleveland. The students seem to have a message for OSU opponents: Deal with it. EC I AL P S 1 201 N S E C TIO Illustrations and design covers can be effective, but whenever possible, try to incorporate real people. DISPATCH PHOTO BY CHRIS RUSSELL OSU outlook: Sunny Tournament brackets Regional breakdowns Presented by The pieces seem to be See who is playing Players, teams and in place for a run at the whom in the men’s and potential upsets in the national title :: 2 women’s fields :: 4–5 men’s tournament :: 6–7
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- 46. n :Desig mile $1.00 TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011 : : SECTION E w ith a S Ohio State’s rabid student section — aptly named “The Nuthouse” — should have plenty to cheer about this year during the NCAA Tournament. Led by senior David Lighty, bottom, the Buckeyes are the tournament’s No. 1 overall seed and will open March Madness on Friday in Cleveland. The students seem to have a message for OSU opponents: Deal with it. EC I AL P S 1 201 N S E C TIO DISPATCH PHOTO BY CHRIS RUSSELL OSU outlook: Sunny Tournament brackets Regional breakdowns Presented by The pieces seem to be See who is playing Players, teams and in place for a run at the whom in the men’s and potential upsets in the national title :: 2 women’s fields :: 4–5 men’s tournament :: 6–7
- 47. BOROWITZ REPORT FLIPPING n :Desig mile Humorist Andy Borowitz is a regular commentator on CNN and National Public Radio. Here is his latest Celebrities go live and twisted take on the news: ith a S MIDEAST CRISIS THREATENS unplugged BUSH’S VACATION w August Ranch Stay in Jeopardy, President Says The widening crisis in the Middle The strangest things come out of East took on graver proportions actors’ mouths when they’re not today when President George W. reading from a script. During the Bush indicated that if the hostilities annual summer gathering of TV continue they could threaten his critics in Pasadena, Calif., last week, traditional August vacation at his some stars showed Crawford, Texas, ranch. they’re plenty At the White House, the presi- funny on their dent said that if Hezbollah contin- own. Some proved ued its rocket attacks on Israel, he they’re better would see those attacks as “an when they stick assault on my vacation itself.” “The time has come for Hez- Spread the news _ someone else’s words in their mouths. bollah to recognize my vacation’s right to exist,” Bush told reporters. we’re having a contest A few highlights: “No one wrecks my vacations,” Mr. Bush added with steely resolve. M O L LY “I was selling “Not on my watch.” WILLOW enriched uranium While the President has been to the Nigerians.” concerned about the escalating — James Woods, declining to elab- crisis in the Middle East, he has orate on a recent successful business reportedly been even more troubled venture by clumps of brush growing out of control all summer at his ranch. “The CW will unveil its strategy, Mr. Bush has set a firm Aug. 1 including its new marketing slogan, deadline for returning to his ranch, ‘Two Wrongs Do Make a Right.’ ” and said he expects Hezbollah to — Keith Marder, former WB Invite abide by that deadline. spokesman, introducing the network “If August 1 comes and goes and that resulted from the merger of I am not clearing that brush, Hez- struggling UPN and the WB bollah will have hell to pay,” Mr. Bush said. “Well, if anything happens to either readers Elsewhere, actress Pamela of you, we have backup.” Anderson and singer Kid Rock — Coby Bell, about his co-stars in announced plans to marry, accord- The Game, Tia Mowry and Brittany ing to the Centers for Disease Daniel, both of whom are twins Control. to join in “I think you ought to ask the white — www.borowitzreport.com folks that.” — Chris Rock, in response to a President question about why there aren’t more Bush and dramas with black actors in the lead the fun. Barney have brush “I didn’t know how fat I was until I to clear. started acting.” — America Ferrera (who is slen- der), star of the new ABC comedy Ugly Betty “I went to three years of dental school in Colombia. But then all this voluptuousness didn’t let me finish.” — Sofia Vergara (Knights of Pros- perity), on how she got into acting “We’re not dumb. I’m Taye Diggs!” — Taye Diggs, exuberantly defend- CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH ing his series Day Break after ques- tions about its repetitive structure PubDate: 07-24-06 Section: Life Page: 8 C Edition: 1 Replate: User: czimkus Time: 07/22 17:30 Size: Broadsheet K Y M NEWS OF THE WEIRD Color:C C8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH MONDAY, JULY 24, 2006 WWW.DISPATCH.COM BOROWITZ REPORT Humorist Andy Borowitz is a regular FLIPPING By Joe Blundo e-mail your photo to “She’s not Ann Coulter; she’s not commentator on CNN and National Celebrities theflipside@dispatch.com. Public Radio. Here is his latest twisted take on the news: Allen Heckard filed a lawsuit in go live and THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH insane.” I Include your name, address MIDEAST CRISIS THREATENS Hillsboro, Ore., in June against unplugged — Ken Olin, producer, about a BUSH’S VACATION August Ranch Stay in Jeopardy, t’s almost August, when The Flip Side fixates on President Says The widening crisis in the Middle East took on graver proportions today when President George W. Bush indicated that if the hostilities Michael Jordan and Nike founder The strangest things come out of actors’ mouths when they’re not reading from a script. During the annual summer gathering of TV and a daytime phone num- conservative character Calista Flock- continue they could threaten his traditional August vacation at his Crawford, Texas, ranch. At the White House, the presi- Phil Knight for $416 million each, critics in Pasadena, Calif., last week, some stars showed they’re plenty funny on their the beloved butter cow at the Ohio State Fair. ber. The deadline is Aug. 4. hart plays on Brothers Sisters (We discourage you from dent said that if Hezbollah contin- own. Some proved Spread the charging that they are responsible And so today, we announce the first (and ued its rocket attacks on Israel, he they’re better would see those attacks as “an when they stick assault on my vacation itself.” news _ someone else’s sending butter itself in the “The time has come for Hez- words in their for his “pain and suffering,” and his we’re having a contest Molly Willow writes about televi- bollah to recognize my vacation’s mouths. possibly last) Flip Side Butter Sculpting Challenge: right to exist,” Bush told reporters. A few highlights: “No one wrecks my vacations,” M O L LY mail because it will melt, Mr. Bush added with steely resolve. “I was selling “defamation,” in that nearly every sion for The Dispatch. “Not on my watch.” WILLOW enriched uranium While the President has been to the Nigerians.” — James Woods, declining to elab- A Celebration in Saturated Fat. concerned about the escalating tempting The Flip Side staff crisis in the Middle East, he has orate on a recent successful business day for 15 years, people have mwillow@dispatch.com reportedly been even more troubled venture by clumps of brush growing out of control all summer at his ranch. “The CW will unveil its strategy, to lick the envelope. But if Mr. Bush has set a firm Aug. 1 including its new marketing slogan, mistaken him for Jordan. Heckard, The rules are simple: We want you to turn a stick deadline for returning to his ranch, ‘Two Wrongs Do Make a Right.’ ” and said he expects Hezbollah to — Keith Marder, former WB abide by that deadline. spokesman, introducing the network that resulted from the merger of you want to pack it in dry “If August 1 comes and goes and who said he’s a pretty good basket- I am not clearing that brush, Hez- struggling UPN and the WB of butter (or margarine — we don’t care) into an bollah will have hell to pay,” Mr. Bush said. “Well, if anything happens to either of you, we have backup.” ice, well, OK.) Elsewhere, actress Pamela — Coby Bell, about his co-stars in ball player (though 6 inches shorter Anderson and singer Kid Rock announced plans to marry, accord- The Game, Tia Mowry and Brittany artistic triumph. CLOSE TO HOME ing to the Centers for Disease Daniel, both of whom are twins JOHN MCPHERSON Control. President — www.borowitzreport.com than Jordan), arrived at the 416 “I think you ought to ask the white folks that.” — Chris Rock, in response to a question about why there aren’t more The best butter artists will Bush and Barney have brush to clear. figure from multiplying his age by dramas with black actors in the lead “I didn’t know how fat I was until I started acting.” have their work featured on - The Ohio State Fair is Aug. 2-13. The Flip Side. They also will — America Ferrera (who is slen- seven (though he appears to be in der), star of the new ABC comedy Ugly Betty To inspire you, The Flip win genuine Flip Side T- “I went to three years of dental his 30s, not 59). Heckard filed the Side presents its own creation school in Colombia. But then all this voluptuousness didn’t let me finish.” — Sofia Vergara (Knights of Pros- shirts and the rights to use perity), on how she got into acting lawsuit without benefit of a lawyer. “We’re not dumb. I’m Taye Diggs!” — Taye Diggs, exuberantly defend- — a margarine Flippy — on the nickname “Slick” for the CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH ing his series Day Break after ques- this page. We used margarine chor and tiny lifeboats. tions about its repetitive structure NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Joe Blundo THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH — Chuck Shepherd e-mail your photo to theflipside@dispatch.com. “She’s not Ann Coulter; she’s not remainder of 2006. Allen Heckard filed a lawsuit in insane.” I because it was on sale. But When you’ve completed Hillsboro, Ore., in June against Include your name, address — Ken Olin, producer, about a t’s almost August, when The Flip Side fixates on Universal Press Syndicate Michael Jordan and Nike founder and a daytime phone num- conservative character Calista Flock- Phil Knight for $416 million each, the beloved butter cow at the Ohio State Fair. ber. The deadline is Aug. 4. hart plays on Brothers Sisters charging that they are responsible (We discourage you from jblundo@dispatch.com And so today, we announce the first (and your masterpiece, give it a sending butter itself in the you aren’t limited to this for his “pain and suffering,” and his Molly Willow writes about televi- “defamation,” in that nearly every possibly last) Flip Side Butter Sculpting Challenge: mail because it will melt, sion for The Dispatch. day for 15 years, people have A Celebration in Saturated Fat. tempting The Flip Side staff mwillow@dispatch.com mistaken him for Jordan. Heckard, The rules are simple: We want you to turn a stick to lick the envelope. But if you want to pack it in dry name (puns are encouraged) who said he’s a pretty good basket- approach. of butter (or margarine — we don’t care) into an ice, well, OK.) ball player (though 6 inches shorter than Jordan), arrived at the 416 artistic triumph. The best butter artists will CLOSE TO HOME JOHN MCPHERSON figure from multiplying his age by have their work featured on seven (though he appears to be in To inspire you, The Flip - The Ohio State Fair is Aug. 2-13. The Flip Side. They also will his 30s, not 59). Heckard filed the lawsuit without benefit of a lawyer. Side presents its own creation — a margarine Flippy — on this page. We used margarine chor and tiny lifeboats. win genuine Flip Side T- shirts and the rights to use the nickname “Slick” for the Some other possibilities: and describe how you made YOU TELL US — Chuck Shepherd because it was on sale. But When you’ve completed remainder of 2006. it. Universal Press Syndicate Dress the butter in an you aren’t limited to this your masterpiece, give it a jblundo@dispatch.com approach. name (puns are encouraged) Some other possibilities: and describe how you made YOU TELL US Dress the butter in an it. Question: What is your greatest regret in life? attractive outfit. Stud it with attractive gewgaws. Sculpt it into an arresting Then photograph your creation against a neutral background and attractive outfit. Then photograph ° Stud it with attractive your creation Zigged when I should have yet unobscene shape. (Our send the photo to zagged Flippy has a wire skeleton to Butter Challenge, Question: What is your hold him together.) The Flip Side, ° Came to fork in road, went home Give it legs, a tail, two Columbus ° gewgaws. against a neutral Seized the day, got arrested eyes and some antlers. Or Dispatch, 34 S. for theft four wheels and a hood orna- 3rd St., Colum- greatest regret in life? ment. Or a mainsail, an an- bus 43215. Or The others in the office send a poignant ° When life gave lemons, called the Lemon Information Bureau message to Frank to stop leaving dirty dishes ° Lived by the seat of someone else’s pants in the break room. Sculpt it into an arresting background and ° Zigged when I should have yet unobscene shape. (Our send the photo to To cast your vote in our survey, visit www.dispatch.com/flipside by midnight Wednesday. Results will be revealed on Friday’s page. PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays Another tough day for Mr. Strahan — or is it less?” she purred. Michael Strahan admitted during the bitter case that he release in the fall. The pro- ducers have announced he’ll reprise the role in a second New York Giants sack king Go back, Owen, Butter Challenge, 70 ,Ruth Buzzi, comic paid $4,000 for the services of Bond flick due in May 2008, TV Flippy has a wire skeleton to and deodorant shill Michael zagged don’t do it again (Rowan Martin’s Laugh-In) Strahan took a nasty verbal hit a plastic surgeon. Guide reports. By the way, a Rock and Roll Hall of Famers 60 ,Gallagher, comic in his divorce from wife Jean. new Bond book is being written Walter Becker and Donald After a New Jersey judge grant- Chuck has found 40 years after the last one. It 59 ,Robert Hays, actor new love connection will be by “a well-known and The Flip Side, Fagen of Steely Dan are de- hold him together.) ed their divorce, Jean Strahan (Airplane!) highly respected” male writer manding an apology from actor said her husband is Veteran game-show host ° Came to fork in got arrestedhome Owen Wilson because they say 57 ,Michael Richards, actor carrying less weight Chuck Woolery has married whose identity will be kept road, went his current film, You, Me and (Seinfeld) these days — a for the fourth time, this time secret until the book’s publi- to Kim Barnes, a Michigan cation in May 2008, Ana- Columbus Dupree, swiped ideas from their 55 ,Lynda Carter, actress hint he underwent 2001 song Cousin Dupree. Beck- er and Fagen posted a letter on their Web site to Luke Wilson, (Wonder Woman) 49 ,Pam Tillis, country singer liposuction. “I feel about 260 pounds lighter native, People magazine re- ports. The former Love Con- nection host’s previous wives nova.com reports. J.J. Abrams — creator of television’s Lost and Alias and Give it legs, a tail, two ° Seized the day, Owen’s brother, saying they included The Fall Guy actress director of Mission: Impossible HOW TO REACH US suspected that “Some hack writer or producer . . . heard our Grammy-winning song . . . and thought, this is a cool idea 41 ,Kadeem Hardison, actor (A Different World) 38 ,Jennifer Lopez, actress-singer Jo Ann Pflug and Teri Nelson, granddaughter of Ozzie and Harriet Nelson. Rap-rocker Fred Durst, 35, III — has confirmed he will produce and possibly direct the next Star Trek film with fellow Trekkie and Lost co-creator eyes and some antlers. Or Dispatch, 34 S. for theft four wheels and a hood orna- 3rd St., Colum- for a character in a movie” and of Limp Bizkit has announced Damon Lindelof. 31 ,Eric Szmanda, The Teen Choice Awards FLIP SIDE EDITOR “didn’t even bother to think up actor (CSI) his engagement to Krista Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 a new (bleeping) name for the Salvatore, a 21-year-old Rhode have given celebophiles some- sberry@dispatch.com guy!” Becker and Fagen warn 24 ,Anna Island native he met over thing to watch Aug. 20. Jessica ment. Or a mainsail, an an- bus 43215. Or that Owen Wilson “may be Paquin, actress Memorial Day Weekend. Simpson has signed comic - We welcome your comments, Dane Cook — to whom she’s The others in the office send a poignant ° When life gave lemons, called doing, like, permanent damage complaints and kudos. Looking ahead been linked romantically — to to his good creds” and suggest E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com he come to one of their con- The new James Bond be her co-host for the show. Fax ...........................614-559-1754 certs and apologize to the Recently — Daniel Craig — must Also, Mr. Britney Spears, aka married for the Kevin Federline, is lined up to message to Frank to stop leaving dirty dishes Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch group’s fans. In exchange, they have stirred, not shaken, fourth time, close the show by performing the Lemon Information Bureau 34 S. 3rd St. offer to load him up with Steely his employer, Sony Pic- Dan merchandise. If he de- Chuck Woolery tures, with his “darker, his rap single Lose Control. Columbus, OH 43215 clines, there’s a veiled threat prepares his edgier 007” in the recent- The Flip Side requires refrigeration about sending a large Russian alimony ly wrapped Casino Royale, his — Compiled by Dave Poole in the break room. after opening. to make things right. payments. Bond debut that is set for dpoole@dispatch.com 07-24-06 ° Lived by the seat of someone else’s pants PAGE C8 To cast your vote in our survey, visit www.dispatch.com/flipside by midnight Wednesday. Results will be revealed on Friday’s page. PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays Another tough day for Mr. Strahan — or is it less?” she purred. Michael Strahan admitted during the bitter case that he release in the fall. The pro- ducers have announced he’ll reprise the role in a second New York Giants sack king
- 48. GOH! THE SIDE FLIP n Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings :Desig mile you Get Outta the House! — advice on what to do, see and experience. w ith a S SPREAD THE NEWS - We could try to describe Whild Peach, but the group’s Web site is Contest determines best butter nuts too entertaining not to quote: “a musical Frankenstein love child with By Joe Blundo , THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH T the left arm of Jimi Hendrix, the right arm of Bootsy Collins and the soul oday we honor the five greasy pieces that won the first (and of James Brown.” Got it? Good. The possibly last) Flip Side Butter Sculpting Challenge. band, which has spent the past few Inspired by the butter cow at the Ohio State Fair, we asked years backing up OutKast, will readers to try their hand at using saturated fat as an artistic medium. perform Saturday at the Frog Bear Wild Boar Bar, 343 N. Front St. SECOND PLACE (Or polyunsaturated fat: We allowed margarine.) The show will start at 10:30 p.m. ‘Apple Butter’ The results were stunning and sensational — not to mention slippery. Call 614-621-9453. TOM SHEPHERD, The top five creations appear on this page. Each winning artist wins a - Want to see a bunch of dudes 14, of Westerville Flip Side T-shirt and worldwide acclaim. beat the heck out of one another in Medium: two sticks And although they didn’t win, we want to raise a toast to the butter a 20-foot octagonal cage? Of of butter and headphones from an iPod artists at Compass School. We stand in awe of their teacher, Kasey Neer, course you do. Cage Fight on Campus will take place Saturday in Artist’s statement: who was brave enough to turn 15 kids loose with butter. the Newport Music Hall, 1722 N. “The headphones are a little Thanks to all who entered. High St.; doors will open at 7 p.m. buttery, but they still work.” jblundo@dispatch.com Tickets for the mixed martial-arts action cost $30 to $65. Meanwhile, the decidedly less-organized Bar Fight on Campus series remains free. Call 614-358-7625. THE WINNER - Not only will you need to get outta ‘Butterfingers’ the house to attend Scribble Jam, EMELIO DISABATO, but you’ll need to get outta town. a Columbus resident who Touted as America’s largest hip-hop attends Oberlin College festival, the Cincinnati-based event Medium: six sticks of will start today and run through butter (one per finger Sunday (the main-event MC battle plus a stick for the hand) will occur Saturday at Annie’s, Artist’s statement: 4343 Kellogg Ave.). A showcase “It’s pretty messy. I had for up-and-coming talent, it’s worth to go really fast because the money you’ll spend on gas. Trust it kept melting on me.” us. For more information, visit www.scribblemagazine.com. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com NEWS OF THE WEIRD Last month, Calvin Barfield clue- lessly tried to cash Joyce Powell’s stolen check at the Sylvester, Ga., bank where she works. He also became nervous and fled, leaving his driver’s license in the drive- PubDate: 08-10-06 Section: Life Page: 8 G Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Time: 08/09 19:40 Size: through drawer. Broadsheet K Y M Color:C G8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 2006 — Chuck Shepherd WWW.DISPATCH.COM GOH! Each Thursday, The Flip Side brings you Get Outta the House! — advice FLIP Universal Press Syndicate THE SIDE on what to do, see and experience. - We could try to describe Whild Peach, but the group’s Web site is SPREAD THE NEWS Contest determines best butter nuts too entertaining not to quote: “a musical Frankenstein love child with By Joe Blundo , THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH T the left arm of Jimi Hendrix, the right arm of Bootsy Collins and the soul oday we honor the five greasy pieces that won the first (and of James Brown.” Got it? Good. The possibly last) Flip Side Butter Sculpting Challenge. band, which has spent the past few Inspired by the butter cow at the Ohio State Fair, we asked years backing up OutKast, will readers to try their hand at using saturated fat as an artistic medium. perform Saturday at the Frog Bear Wild Boar Bar, 343 N. Front St. SECOND PLACE (Or polyunsaturated fat: We allowed margarine.) The show will start at 10:30 p.m. ‘Apple Butter’ The results were stunning and sensational — not to mention slippery. Call 614-621-9453. TOM SHEPHERD, The top five creations appear on this page. Each winning artist wins a - Want to see a bunch of dudes 14, of Westerville Flip Side T-shirt and worldwide acclaim. beat the heck out of one another in Medium: two sticks And although they didn’t win, we want to raise a toast to the butter a 20-foot octagonal cage? Of of butter and headphones from an iPod artists at Compass School. We stand in awe of their teacher, Kasey Neer, course you do. Cage Fight on Campus will take place Saturday in Artist’s statement: who was brave enough to turn 15 kids loose with butter. the Newport Music Hall, 1722 N. “The headphones are a little Thanks to all who entered. High St.; doors will open at 7 p.m. buttery, but they still work.” jblundo@dispatch.com Tickets for the mixed martial-arts action cost $30 to $65. Meanwhile, the decidedly less-organized Bar THE WINNER HONORABLE MENTIONS Fight on Campus series remains free. Call 614-358-7625. ‘Butterfingers’ 000 000 - Not only will you need to get outta the house to attend Scribble Jam, EMELIO DISABATO, but you’ll need to get outta town. a Columbus resident who Touted as America’s largest hip-hop attends Oberlin College festival, the Cincinnati-based event Medium: six sticks of will start today and run through butter (one per finger Sunday (the main-event MC battle plus a stick for the hand) will occur Saturday at Annie’s, Artist’s statement: 4343 Kellogg Ave.). A showcase “It’s pretty messy. I had for up-and-coming talent, it’s worth to go really fast because the money you’ll spend on gas. Trust it kept melting on me.” us. For more information, visit www.scribblemagazine.com. ‘Butter Go ‘Smokey Bear’ ‘Peace Angel’ ADDING UP — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com NEWS OF THE WEIRD Last month, Calvin Barfield clue- lessly tried to cash Joyce Powell’s to the Beach’ LYNN BOYDELATOUR PATRICIA Medium: two sticks of “PADDY” SHAFFER 11 stolen check at the Sylvester, Ga., STEFANIE BLOOM bank where she works. He also became nervous and fled, leaving his driver’s license in the drive- through drawer. minutes that a typical margarine on a balsa of Dublin of New Albany — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate worker can focus before framework Medium: four sticks being interrupted by e-mail, a Medium: three sticks of margarine Artist’s statement: of butter co-worker, etc. HONORABLE MENTIONS Boydelatour, a naturalist Artist’s statement: Artist’s statement: 000 000 25 minutes before the worker for the Ohio Department of “If there is only one ‘Butter Go ‘Smokey Bear’ ‘Peace Angel’ ADDING UP 11 to the Beach’ STEFANIE BLOOM LYNN BOYDELATOUR Medium: two sticks of PATRICIA “PADDY” SHAFFER “I just moved here from Natural Resources, thing that can come minutes that a typical margarine on a balsa of Dublin can refocus on a task worker can focus before of New Albany framework Medium: four sticks Virginia Beach (Va.), and I being interrupted by e-mail, a Medium: three sticks of margarine Artist’s statement: of butter co-worker, etc. Boydelatour, a naturalist Artist’s statement: Artist’s statement: 25 was inspired by the from my Peace Angel minutes before the worker “I just moved here from for the Ohio Department of “If there is only one Natural Resources, thing that can come was thinking about it when can refocus on a task 1 Virginia Beach (Va.), and I was thinking about it when was inspired by the from my Peace Angel 1 out of every 1,000 Americans out of every 1,000 Americans department’s Smokey made of butter, I hope I made the sculpture.” department’s Smokey made of butter, I hope who can name the five free- Bear, a 15-foot it is world peace.” doms guaranteed in the First icon of the Ohio Amendment State Fair. “Smokey’s I made the sculpture.” who can name the five free- been there a long time. 200 out of every 1,000 Bear, a 15-foot it is world peace.” Certainly he’s bigger Americans who can than the butter cow.” name all five of the Simpsons 3,391 carts driven by doms guaranteed in the First residents of an Orlando, Fla., retirement commu- nity, in the largest-ever golf-cart icon of the Ohio Amendment parade 80,000 lawn mowers annually Americans injured by PEOPLE IN THE NEWS this for his own well-being and the well-being of his family,” Diana in their divorce are squaring off again in the split Today’s birthdays she demanded chilled spring water from Fiji — and then had State Fair. “Smokey’s been there a long time. 200 Sources: McCormick Tribune Freedom she said. “He looks forward to between Paul McCartney and her staff check it with a ther- Museum, Playboy But are they following returning to work this fall to Heather Mills McCartney. 78 ,Eddie Fisher, singer mometer to make sure it was out of every 1,000 the rules of engagement? support his upcoming film Anthony Julius, who repre- 63 ,Ronnie Spector, singer cold enough. “It was simply Jennifer Aniston’s rep is releases.” sented Diana, has been re- unbelievable,” a source at Cap- Certainly he’s bigger denying an Us Weekly cover tained by Mrs. McCartney. He 59 ,Ian Anderson, singer and ital Radio told Britain’s The Sun. story claiming that the actress McCartney divorce set reportedly secured a $32 mil- musician (Jethro Tull) “It was hilarious watching her Americans who can accepted a proposal from Vince to become battle royal lion settlement for Diana. The 58 ,Patti Austin, singer staff make such a fuss.” Vaughn. “It is not true; they are The lawyers who represented former Beatle has retained 47 ,Rosanna Arquette, actress than the butter cow.” not engaged,” Stephen Huvane Prince Charles and Princess Fiona Shackleton, who repre- (What About Brian) Splitsville insists. Vaughn reportedly pro- sented the prince. Drummer and MTV reality name all five of the Simpsons posed to Aniston on June 27 as 46 ,Antonio Banderas, actor star Travis Barker is seeking a Extra! Extra! Jennifer Aniston they returned to Los Angeles (The Legend of Zorro) divorce from his wife, former and Vince Vaughn might be after a vacation at the $25 mil- engaged. Or not. 34 ,Angie Harmon, actress Miss USA Shanna Moakler. lion retreat of Girls Gone Wild (Law Order) founder Joe Francis in Puerto Hair today, friends tomorrow 3,391 Vallarta, Mexico. TMZ.com, Lindsay Lohan has revealed carts driven by meanwhile, says the nonexist- why she and Madonna are new HOW TO REACH US ent engagement ring is bigger than the $200,000 one that Nightclub bouncers get on the wrong side of Law best friends: “She told me that her daughter, Lourdes, is a fan FLIP SIDE EDITOR Aniston received from Brad Jude Law had trouble of mine. We also share the residents of an Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 Pitt. proving he was Jude Law at same hairdresser.” sberry@dispatch.com New York’s Bed nightclub the Robin Williams enters other night. Sentries at the hot Suri update - We welcome your comments, treatment for alcoholism spot refused to let the actor in Vanity Fair has landed the complaints and kudos. Orlando, Fla., retirement commu- Actor and comedian Robin until he showed an ID, New first photo shoot with Tom E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com Williams is seeking help for York’s Daily News reports. Law Cruise and Katie Holmes’ Fax ...........................614-559-1754 alcoholism, publicist Mara finally convinced a higher-up camera-shy daughter, the New Buxbaum said yesterday. The that he starred in Alfie and was York Post reports. The photos of Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch nity, in the largest-ever golf-cart 55-year-old comedian had ushered inside. Suri, by Annie Leibovitz, will 34 S. 3rd St. been sober for 20 years. Wil- be published in the fall. Columbus, OH 43215 Diva data liams “found himself drinking The Flip Side: monounsaturated again and has decided to take Janet Jackson floored radio — Compiled by Steve Berry with flavor. parade proactive measures to deal with execs in London recently when sberry@dispatch.com 80,000 08-10-06 PAGE G8 Americans lawn mowers annually injured by PEOPLE IN THE NEWS this for his own well-being and the well-being of his family,” she said. “He looks forward to Diana in their divorce are squaring off again in the split between Paul McCartney and Today’s birthdays she demanded chilled spring water from Fiji — and then had her staff check it with a ther- Sources: McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum, Playboy But are they following returning to work this fall to Heather Mills McCartney. 78 ,Eddie Fisher, singer mometer to make sure it was the rules of engagement? support his upcoming film Anthony Julius, who repre- cold enough. “It was simply
- 49. closer to the sun). What followed resembled the face-melting aren’t risks in the pot business, and British Prime Minister Signals End conclusion of Raiders of the Lost Ark and — when it was all THE TEPID ISSUE Nancy’s explanation that she sells only to Exclusive Relationship over — a sauce to dip crab legs in at Red Lobster. - Do you feel sorry for Flippy? to make ends meet doesn’t wash with Share your thoughts at some viewers, I’m sure. n British Prime Minister Tony Blair :Desig mile nchordas@dispatch.com ,czimkus@dispatch.com www.dispatch.com/flipside. But while marijuana is the center- stunned diplomatic circles today by piece, each tightly scripted episode is telling President George W. Bush just as likely to touch on the difficulties that the time had come for the two ith a S of marriage, parenthood and social men to start “seeing other people.” status — often with laugh-out-loud The announcement came as a w results. shock to many observers of the The second season picks up where international scene because the the first left off: Nancy in the bedroom British prime minister and the U.S. of a new flame who turns out to be a president had been virtually insep- federal drug agent. arable since Bush took power in Nevertheless, Nancy decides to forge 2001. ahead with plans to grow her own But in telling the president that product. he wanted to see other people, All the while, she’s trying to retain Blair seemed to be leaving little control of her household, which in- doubt that their exclusive relation- cludes a surly teenage son, his troubled ship was, for all intents and pur- younger brother, her wholly inappro- poses, over. priate brother-in-law and a maid who “I was absolutely blindsided by knows Nancy’s green secret and uses it the news,” said Russian President as an excuse not to work. Vladimir Putin. “I saw them together Weeds is quirky and daring television at the G-8 summit, and they for grown-ups. I highly recommend it. seemed so happy.” The National Geographic Channel Australian Prime Minister John has explored the world of animals, the Howard, however, seemed less Sept. 11 terrorist attack and horrible surprised: “It’s hard to keep a natural disasters, typically in thought- long-distance relationship going.” ful, probing fashion. It was, perhaps, at the G-8 This week, the network looks at summit that the cracks in the exploding reptiles. Blair-Bush relationship began to The picture of a 6-foot alligator half show, as the U.S. president was inside a 13-foot Burmese python was seen massaging the shoulders of taken in the fall by a park biologist in German Chancellor Angela Merkel. the Florida Everglades. (You probably Hours later, perhaps in retal- received it as an e-mail forward shortly iation, Blair was seen caressing the thereafter.) inner thigh of French President Python vs. Gator, at 8 p.m. Wednes- Jacques Chirac. day, examines the authenticity and Elsewhere, Lindsay Lohan feasibility of the bizarre encounter. announced that she would enter- Any man who records a spoken- tain troops in Iraq, igniting calls for word album called Has Been can’t take an immediate withdrawal. himself too seriously. William Shatner — www.borowitzreport.com is that man. The Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner will be shown at 8 p.m. Sunday. Each Monday, Dispatch TV writer Molly Willow previews the coming week. PubDate: 08-14-06 Section: Life Page: 8 B Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Time: 08/11 19:32 Size: Broadsheet K Y M Color:C B8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH MONDAY, AUGUST 14, 2006 WWW.DISPATCH.COM YOU TELL US FLIP THESIDE FLIPPING mwillow@dispatch.com It’s a doobie Question: What best describes your feelings about Ohio State being ranked No. 1 in preseason — er, doozy polls? ° Elation: It’s a sign from God. ° Apprehension: What if we lose to of a show MASCOT Yo, Blair! MELTDOWN Northern Illinois? ° Confusion: Didn’t we lose nine starters on defense? The second season of the Showtime ° Indignation: It’s about time. comedy Weeds, about a pot-dealing ° Bliss: I just like the tailgate parties. mom in suburban California, will fire up at 10 tonight. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) To cast your vote in our survey, visit Mary-Louise Parker won a Golden www.dispatch.com/flipside Globe this year for her portrayal of by midnight Wednesday. The results will be revealed on Friday’s page. Butter Flippy had to go, so we liquidated him Nancy Botwin, the widowed mother of I still love two boys. The homogenous By Nick Chordas and Charlie Zimkus WEB VIDEO community of THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Agrestic (city motto: BOROWITZ REPORT - To watch a video T of Flippy’s demise, “Agrestic, the best of hey say you always hurt the one you love. Butter Flippy visit www.dispatch.com/ the bestic”) and all you. Here, from humorist Andy Borowitz, — the beloved centerpiece of The Flip Side’s Butter flipside. The process has its repressed rich- is his latest twisted take on the Sculpting Challenge — learned as much late last week. been sped up from six hours person angst provide news of the day: to 21 seconds for those who the setting for wry We could have disposed of the mascot humanely, but that M O L LY can’t spend most of the social commentary. BLAIR TELLS BUSH would have been no fun at all. Instead, we waited for a warm THEY SHOULD START day and set him on the roof of The Dispatch (our rationale: It’s workday watching dairy prod- WILLOW Weeds doesn’t try ucts melt. to pretend there SPEED BUMP SEEING OTHER PEOPLE closer to the sun). What followed resembled the face-melting aren’t risks in the pot business, and British Prime Minister Signals End conclusion of Raiders of the Lost Ark and — when it was all THE TEPID ISSUE Nancy’s explanation that she sells only DAVE COVERLY to Exclusive Relationship over — a sauce to dip crab legs in at Red Lobster. - Do you feel sorry for Flippy? to make ends meet doesn’t wash with Share your thoughts at some viewers, I’m sure. British Prime Minister Tony Blair nchordas@dispatch.com ,czimkus@dispatch.com www.dispatch.com/flipside. But while marijuana is the center- stunned diplomatic circles today by piece, each tightly scripted episode is telling President George W. Bush just as likely to touch on the difficulties that the time had come for the two of marriage, parenthood and social men to start “seeing other people.” status — often with laugh-out-loud The announcement came as a results. shock to many observers of the The second season picks up where international scene because the the first left off: Nancy in the bedroom British prime minister and the U.S. of a new flame who turns out to be a president had been virtually insep- federal drug agent. arable since Bush took power in Nevertheless, Nancy decides to forge 2001. ahead with plans to grow her own But in telling the president that product. he wanted to see other people, All the while, she’s trying to retain Blair seemed to be leaving little control of her household, which in- doubt that their exclusive relation- cludes a surly teenage son, his troubled ship was, for all intents and pur- younger brother, her wholly inappro- poses, over. priate brother-in-law and a maid who “I was absolutely blindsided by knows Nancy’s green secret and uses it the news,” said Russian President as an excuse not to work. Vladimir Putin. “I saw them together Weeds is quirky and daring television at the G-8 summit, and they for grown-ups. I highly recommend it. seemed so happy.” The National Geographic Channel Australian Prime Minister John has explored the world of animals, the Howard, however, seemed less Sept. 11 terrorist attack and horrible surprised: “It’s hard to keep a natural disasters, typically in thought- long-distance relationship going.” ful, probing fashion. It was, perhaps, at the G-8 This week, the network looks at summit that the cracks in the exploding reptiles. Blair-Bush relationship began to The picture of a 6-foot alligator half show, as the U.S. president was inside a 13-foot Burmese python was seen massaging the shoulders of taken in the fall by a park biologist in German Chancellor Angela Merkel. the Florida Everglades. (You probably Hours later, perhaps in retal- received it as an e-mail forward shortly iation, Blair was seen caressing the thereafter.) inner thigh of French President Python vs. Gator, at 8 p.m. Wednes- Jacques Chirac. day, examines the authenticity and Elsewhere, Lindsay Lohan feasibility of the bizarre encounter. announced that she would enter- Any man who records a spoken- tain troops in Iraq, igniting calls for word album called Has Been can’t take an immediate withdrawal. himself too seriously. William Shatner — www.borowitzreport.com NEWS OF THE WEIRD is that man. The Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner will be shown at 8 p.m. Sunday. Each Monday, Dispatch TV writer Molly Willow previews the coming week. mwillow@dispatch.com Yo, Blair! I still love you. SPEED BUMP DAVE COVERLY NEWS OF THE WEIRD Cory Neddermeyer, 42, was turned Cory Neddermeyer, 42, was turned down for unemployment benefits down for unemployment benefits last month in Iowa after a judge ruled that he was fired for cause. His employer, the Amaizing Energy ethanol plant, had a huge spill that ADAM CAIRNS DISPATCH PHOTOS last month in Iowa after a judge created a pond of fuel alcohol. After resisting for as long as he Editor’s note: Don’t have Internet access? Don’t worry. Our Amish friends can simply cut out the still images could, recovering alcoholic Nedder- and staple along the left-hand side to create an interactive Flip Side flip book. Enjoy. meyer gave in, started drinking from the pool and passed out. He later registered a 0.72 blood-alcohol ruled NEWS he was fired for cause. PEOPLE IN THE that level. shot at a Los Angeles hospital. ences in private. And she plans — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate Today’s birthdays Hilton’s rep called the bite a “superficial wound.” to continue therapy: “My goal for this part of my life is to be Battling supermodels each 80 ,Alice Ghostley, actress more nurturing to myself.” try to be ‘Body’ snatcher (Bewitched) Three simple rules Time magazine named Elle for seeing the stealth baby Celebrity buzz His employer, the Amaizing Energy 65 ,David Crosby, rock singer Macpherson “the Body” in a Tom Cruise and Katie Lindsay Lohan is being 1986 cover story. Now, Heidi 65 ,Connie Smith, country Holmes have extended an stalked by a man who has sent Klum claims the title in a Victo- singer invitation to their friends David her flowers as well as letters ria’s Secret ad campaign for the 61 ,Steve Martin, actor and and Victoria Beckham to visit with his name and phone num- Body bra. “They call me ‘the comedian Suri — with some strict condi- ber, TMZ.com reports. ethanol plant, had a huge spill that Body,’ and now I 60 ,Susan Saint James, tions. Cruise has specified that have a bra named actress (McMillan and Wife) the Beckhams not pick up the Nuptial news after me,” the baby, take her picture or coo Rapper and producer Kanye German super- 60 ,Antonio Fargas, actor over her, according to Austra- West is engaged, People maga- model says in (Starsky and Hutch) lia’s Daily Star. “David and zine reports. West, 29, recently TV commer- 59 ,Danielle Steel, author Victoria are honored that Tom proposed to his girlfriend, ADAM CAIRNS DISPATCH PHOTOS created a pond of fuel alcohol. cials. Mac- 47 ,Marcia Gay Harden, and Katie have asked them,” a Alexis (no last name available). pherson’s rep actress (Pollock) source said. “However, they HOW TO REACH US says they were “flabbergasted.” “We 45 ,Susan Olsen, actress were a little shocked at the list of rules they’ll have to follow.” Splitsville update Carmen Electra has officially (Cindy on The Brady Bunch) FLIP SIDE EDITOR have numerous press clippings filed for divorce from Dave Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 referring to Elle as ‘the Body,’ ” 40 ,Halle Berry, actress Actress has learned how Navarro, amid rumors that the After resisting for as long as he Melissa Edwards sniffed. “In (X-Men: The Last Stand) to fight fair in marriage Rock Star host has been dating Editor’s note: Don’t have Internet access? Don’t worry. Our Amish friends can simply cut out the still images sberry@dispatch.com terms of public record, that Courteney Cox told Life adult-film star Jenna Jameson. - We welcome your comments, name belongs to Elle.” Jesse magazine that she and hus- complaints and kudos. “the Body” Ventura, mean- Paris’ pet kinkajou bites band David Arquette sought Quote of the day E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com while, had no comment. the arm that feeds it therapy after a recent rough “He has very strong opinions, Fax ...........................614-559-1754 We thought Paris Hilton had patch in their marriage. “He which I try not to listen to.” — could, recovering alcoholic Nedder- ditched her furry friend. No, (the therapist) said, ‘Courteney, Ivanka Trump, on having the and staple along the left-hand side to create an interactive Flip Side flip book. Enjoy. Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch not that Greek shipping heir. can you see how David gets Donald as a father, in Stuff 34 S. 3rd St. Is “the Body” big enough for all of Turns out that Paris was bitten embarrassed to have any kind magazine Columbus, OH 43215 them? Elle Macpherson, Heidi on the arm last week by her pet of public fight?’ ” the actress The Flip Side will stop the world Klum (with her new bra), and kinkajou, Baby Luv. The said. Since then, she said, she — Compiled by Steve Berry and melt with you. Jesse “the Body” Ventura socialite had to get a tetanus has learned to talk over differ- sberry@dispatch.com meyer gave in, started drinking from 08-14-06 PAGE B8 the pool and passed out. He later registered a 0.72 blood-alcohol level. — Chuck Shepherd PEOPLE IN THE NEWS shot at a Los Angeles hospital. Hilton’s rep called the bite a ences in private. And she plans to continue therapy: “My goal
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- 52. PubDate: 04-30-08 Page: 10 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Color:C K Y M n :Desig mile D10 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 2008 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM FLIPPY’S BOOK CLUB ith a S The Flip Side encourages reading. w So we’re starting Flippy’s Book Club — much like Oprah’s Book Club but way more legitimate. Every 30 to 31 days (give or take a few), we’ll present our “Book of the MERGER MENU Month.” Readers are urged to peruse the chosen title, then visit Dispatch. com/flipside and click on Flippy’s Book Club to post comments. Together, we’ll make the world a more literate place. Arby’s plus Wendy’s equals fine fast food (( )) By Nick Chordas and Charlie Zimkus , THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH Our mouths started watering as soon as the news broke last week: Arby’s and Wendy’s could soon merge. Can you imagine the delicious menu possibilities from such a union? We certainly can — and did. BOOK OF THE MONTH Welcome to Warby’s: Is this for here or to go? Instruction Manual nchordas@dispatch.com ,czimkus@dispatch.com for a 2002 Chevrolet Malibu - Author: anonymous Try to mimic - Pages: 354 - Excerpt: “To set the parking brake, push down the parking brake pedal with your left foot. If Warby’s $99 Menu the ignition is on, the brake system Get one of your target’s warning light will come on. . . . If everything you are towing a trailer and are ALL FOR The rootin’-tootin’-est mascot on the prairie shows $ 99 (Limit of parking on a hill, see ‘Towing a 50 Warby’s youngsters how to cut roast beef on our industrial Trailer’ in the Index.” Sauce packets slicers and cook hamburgers inside our high-intensity color usage, - Discussion starter: How does per order) ovens. Yee-haw! Applications inside. the chapter “Care of Your Cassette Tape Player” serve as an allegory for the death of the communal social fabric in postindustrial typography and America? — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com Warby’s Old Fashioned Warby’s Curly Fry imagery. LOW DEFINITION The folks at Urbandictionary.com Beef ’n Cheddar ’n Beef Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburger + Arby’s Beef ’n Cheddar Frosty Cocktail Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty + Arby’s Curly Fries At Warby’s, every What do you get offer definitions of words and when you combine meal is a fine- phrases not found in Webster’s. We succulent roast beef dining experience. pass them along for educational with a hot ’n’ juicy Take our spin on the purposes only. burger sized right and classic shrimp cocktail, topped with all your for example: It’s the - homing from work: using work perfect warm-up — or favorites? Total PubDate: 04-30-08 Page: 10 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Color:C K Y M time and resources for personal cool-down! — to one D10 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 2008 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM perfection, that’s FLIPPY’S BOOK CLUB tasks; see “reverse telecommuting” of our signature value The Flip Side encourages reading. what — from our Usage example: meals. Bon appetit! So we’re starting Flippy’s Book Club — much like Oprah’s Book Club but way more legitimate. Every 30 to 31 days (give or take a brains to your mouth. “My home Internet connection few), we’ll present our “Book of the MERGER MENU Month.” Readers are urged to peruse the chosen title, then visit Dispatch. stinks, so I’m going to download com/flipside and click on Flippy’s Book Club to post comments. Together, we’ll make the world a more literate place. and burn Entourage at the office Arby’s plus Wendy’s equals fine fast food (( )) By Nick Chordas and Charlie Zimkus , THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH while I’m homing from work.” Our mouths started watering as soon as the news broke last week: Arby’s and Wendy’s could soon merge. Can you imagine the delicious BOOK OF THE MONTH Instruction Manual for a 2002 Chevrolet Malibu menu possibilities from such a union? We certainly can — and did. Welcome to Warby’s: Is this for here or to go? nchordas@dispatch.com ,czimkus@dispatch.com Warby’s Jamochili Shake W Warby’s Thrice-Loaded Warby’s 5 for $6.95 B Go Wrap - Author: anonymous - Pages: 354 - Excerpt: “To set the parking brake, push down the parking brake pedal with your left foot. If the ignition is on, the brake system Warby’s $99 Menu Get one of Wendy’s Chili + Arby’s Jamocha Shake Baked Potato W Wendy’s Go Wrap + various items warning light will come on. . . . If Wendy’s Baked Potato + Arby’s Loaded everything you are towing a trailer and are parking on a hill, see ‘Towing a Trailer’ in the Index.” (Limit of 50 Warby’s Sauce packets $ 99 ALL FOR The rootin’-tootin’-est mascot on the prairie shows youngsters how to cut roast beef on our industrial slicers and cook hamburgers inside our high-intensity Using patented P from Arby’s “Pick 5” menu - Discussion starter: How does per order) ovens. Yee-haw! Applications inside. the chapter “Care of Your Cassette Tape Player” serve as an allegory for the death of the communal social fabric in postindustrial container Potato Bites + Arby’s Potato Cakes America? — Nick Chordas technology, Y Choose up to nchordas@dispatch.com Warby’s Curly Fry You’ll think you’ve died Warby’s Old Fashioned Beef ’n Cheddar ’n Beef Frosty Cocktail the Jamochili a five menu LOW DEFINITION Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburger Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty + Arby’s Curly Fries and gone to Idaho Shake keeps + Arby’s Beef ’n Cheddar The folks at Urbandictionary.com What do you get At Warby’s, every offer definitions of words and phrases not found in Webster’s. We pass them along for educational when you combine succulent roast beef meal is a fine- dining experience. Take our spin on the w when you bite items, the cool side with a hot ’n’ juicy purposes only. burger sized right and classic shrimp cocktail, i and we’ll for example: It’s the into this topped with all your - homing from work: using work perfect warm-up — or favorites? Total time and resources for personal cool-down! — to one cool and the perfection, that’s tasks; see “reverse telecommuting” of our signature value what — from our t Usage example: meals. Bon appetit! wrap them brains to your mouth. “My home Internet connection stinks, so I’m going to download tater-tastic and burn Entourage at the office while I’m homing from work.” hot side hot. c all in a Warby’s Jamochili Shake Wendy’s Chili + Arby’s Jamocha Shake W Warby’s Thrice-Loaded B Baked Potato Warby’s 5 for $6.95 Go Wrap concoction. Using patented container W Wendy’s Baked Potato + Arby’s Loaded P Potato Bites + Arby’s Potato Cakes Wendy’s Go Wrap + various items from Arby’s “Pick 5” menu The only thing T warm flour technology, the Jamochili Y You’ll think you’ve died Choose up to Tell the wife you have to a and gone to Idaho five menu Shake keeps w items, when you bite s tortilla, the cool side she’s driving i into this and we’ll cool and the t wrap them tater-tastic hot side hot. c all in a decide is which concoction. The only thing T warm flour Tell the wife you have to — adding a zesty s she’s driving tortilla, decide is which to eat first! — — because y you’re going into a adding a zesty ranch sauce as the scrumptious — because EBAY ITEM OF THE WEEK s starch coma after this one, Jack! spackle. It’s downright wrapturous! to eat first! y ranch sauce as the scrumptious you’re going into a EBAY ITEM Because of its shocking scarcity in stores, a seller in New England is offering “A Can of Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink” (item No. 280221891745). No joke: The direct-to-DVD action star began s starch coma after this one, Jack! spackle. It’s downright wrapturous! producing the drink some years ago. The can up for auction seems OF THE WEEK to have an “Asian Experience” flavor — whatever that means. The bidding will end Sunday. As of DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION yesterday, the price for opening up a can of whup*** was $8. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Oprah Winfrey on her show scheduled to air Tuesday. The studio audience reportedly Today’s birthdays MOUTHING OFF Han wasn’t always solo cheers when Cher tells of one 82 ,Cloris Leachman, actress What celebrities are saying: Carrie Fisher hints that she got “long night” she spent with the (The Last Picture Show) up close and personal with co- actor, who is 16 years her junior. “Do I look like I had 10 NEWS OF THE WEIRD 75 ,Willie Nelson, singer Because of its shocking scarcity in star Harrison Ford while filming The couple supposedly met at a cheeseburgers or something?” the Star Wars movies, Britain’s White House fundraiser just after 68 ,Burt Young, actor (Rocky) Early this year, police in Osaka, The Sun reports. “I went on the the Cruise film Risky Business 64 ,Jill Clayburgh, actress (An — Ashlee Simpson Japan, mobilized to apprehend a film saying, ‘I’m going to have an (1983) became a hit. Unmarried Woman) to Ellen DeGeneres, who had asked stores, a seller in New England is 27-year-old fugitive, Hirofumi affair’ — like it was a kiwi, an 60 ,Perry King, actor (Riptide) whether she was expecting Fukuda, who was wanted in the exotic fruit — because I’d never No more hot pants assault of an officer. By the end of had one,” the former Princess Former Spice Girl Geri Halli- 43 ,Adrian Pasdar, actor (Heroes) the two-hour episode, 460 patrol Leia said. “I had a crush on Har- well has no more plans to pursue 35 ,Akon, rhythm-and-blues “I’m thrilled to be anywhere cars and a helicopter — involving singer with high ratings these days.” offering “A Can of Steven Seagal’s rison, for sure.” Shaking her head a singing career, ShowbizSpy.com 2,240 law-enforcement officers — and saying, “I’m going to get in reports. Halliwell wants to 33 ,Johnny Galecki, actor — President Bush had taken part in the case. so much trouble,” she added, concentrate on writing for (The Big Bang Theory) “Once, I left the room and came children, saying, “I feel like I’ve during a guest appearance on — Chuck Shepherd 26 ,Kirsten Dunst, actress Universal Press Syndicate back, and he was in the closet the NBC game show Deal or No Deal Lightning Bolt Energy Drink” (item (Spider-Man 3) not wearing a lot of clothes.” Foxey ladies, purple haze “I wore no underwear for you, Porn purveyor Vivid Entertain- hung up my hot pants.” Ugenia and look where it got me.” No. 280221891745). No joke: The ment is releasing a film this week Lavender, the first in a series of — Kate Beckinsale that supposedly features guitar six children’s books, is to be released this week. on her “surprise” for Late Late Show legend Jimi Hendrix, The New host Craig Ferguson, who had made York Times reports. The movie Busted at the scene a crack about her age direct-to-DVD action star began shows a naked man, who Carrie resembles Hendrix, having sex Fisher and Gary Dourdan, co-star of CSI: with two brunettes in a dimly Harrison Crime Scene Investigation, is free “We played laser tag. It was lighted hotel room. But the Ford: Was on $5,000 bail in the wake of his really cool.” producing the drink some years identity of the man in the film — the Force arrest Monday on suspicion of reportedly shot about 40 years with them? possessing heroin, cocaine, — Paris Hilton ago and found at a London Ecstasy and prescription drugs, on how she spent a “romantic” auction — is disputed by experts. TMZ.com reports. The 41-year- anniversary with beau Benji Madden HOW TO REACH US Vivid is selling a 45-minute DVD, old actor was asleep in his car at ago. The can up for auction seems combining 11 minutes of sex 5:21 a.m. in Palm Springs, Calif., footage with a retrospective of when officers approached the “I’m content with 90 percent FLIP SIDE EDITOR Hendrix’s career, for $39.95. vehicle. They found Dourdan Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 of me. I like my teeth. Sometimes “disoriented and possibly under I wonder if my orthodontist to have an “Asian Experience” sberry@dispatch.com I had you, babe the influence of alcohol and/or E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com Cher has revealed that she drugs.” realizes how important he was.” Fax ...........................614-559-1754 once had a fling with Tom — Carrie Underwood Cruise, The Sun reports. “I was — Compiled by Steve Berry The Flip Side: It’s stupid here. on her body image flavor — whatever that means. The crazy about him,” Cher tells sberry@dispatch.com 04-30-08 bidding will end Sunday. As of PAGE D10 DISPATCH PHOTO ILLUSTRATION yesterday, the price for opening up a can of whup*** was $8. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Oprah Winfrey on her show scheduled to air Tuesday. The studio audience reportedly Today’s birthdays MOUTHING OFF
- 53. n :Desig mileFashioned Warby’s Curly Fry ith a S Cheddar ’n Beef Warby’s Old w Beef ’n Frosty Cocktail Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburger Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty + Arby’s Beef ’n Cheddar + Arby’s Curly Fries What do you get At Warby’s, every when you combine meal is a fine- succulent roast beef dining experience. with a hot ’n’ juicy Take our spin on the burger sized right and classic shrimp cocktail, topped with all your for example: It’s the favorites? Total perfect warm-up — or perfection, that’s cool-down! — to one what — from our of our signature value brains to your mouth. meals. Bon appetit! Warby’s Jamochili Shake W Warby’s Thrice-Loaded Warby’s 5 for $6.95 Wendy’s Chili + Arby’s Jamocha Shake B Baked Potato Go Wrap Using patented W Wendy’s Baked Potato + Arby’s Loaded Wendy’s Go Wrap + various items container P Potato Bites + Arby’s Potato Cakes from Arby’s “Pick 5” menu technology, Y Choose up to You’ll think you’ve died the Jamochili a five menu and gone to Idaho Shake keeps w items, when you bite the cool side i and we’ll into this cool and the t wrap them tater-tastic hot side hot. c all in a concoction. The only thing T warm flour Tell the wife you have to s tortilla, she’s driving decide is which — adding a zesty — because to eat first! y ranch sauce as the scrumptious you’re going into a s starch coma after this one, Jack! spackle. It’s downright wrapturous!
- 54. n :Desig mile B8 ∑ THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH | TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2006 WMD ith a S Web sites of Mass Distraction are entertainment-oriented sites w (humor, jokes, office time-killers). Finally, a replacement for the singing telegram www.careerbuilder.com/ monk-e-mail We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: There’s nothing funnier than a monkey dressed like a human. Go to this site and click on the Monk-E-Mail banner to cre- ate a free e-mail message — star- ring a monkey — for friends and co-workers. Choose a chimp; then add clothes, hair and glasses as well as a place for the primate to sit. Now pick one of three pre- recorded messages or type your own script, which the chimp will read back. Finally, click on ‘‘for- Play off of your ward’’ to send along your master- piece. Congrats! You’ve made a monkey out of someone. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com subject’s written If you know of a potential WMD, send the site address and your name, age and city of residence to theflipside@dispatch.com. Please, nothing too racy _ Big Brother is watching us here at the Big D. language. WEIRD NEWS OF THE In December, University of Maine geologists reported that dozens of methane fields off the coast of Maine were releasing large amounts of gas, disrupting the ocean floor and creating massive bubbles. — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate TRIVIA | ALBERTA Brokeback Mountain has triggered a rush of interest in the sweeping vistas of Wyoming, but the movie was actually filmed in Alberta. How much do you know about the Canadian province? Our cover model B8 ∑ WMD THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH | TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2006 1. Speaking of sweeping vistas, Guitar makes sweet Web sites of Mass Distraction are entertainment-oriented sites (humor, jokes, office time-killers). which of these epic American music in a sexy tales was actually filmed in Old Navy bikini ($33) America? and flip-flops by a. Legends of the Fall Noteworthy ($1) Finally, a replacement for the singing telegram www.careerbuilder.com/ monk-e-mail We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: There’s nothing funnier b. Texas Rangers than a monkey dressed like a c. Unforgiven human. Go to this site and click on the Monk-E-Mail banner to cre- ate a free e-mail message — star- ring a monkey — for friends and co-workers. Choose a chimp; then add clothes, hair and glasses as well as a place for the primate to sit. Now pick one of three pre- recorded messages or type your d. Butch Cassidy own script, which the chimp will read back. Finally, click on ‘‘for- ward’’ to send along your master- and the Sundance Kid piece. Congrats! You’ve made a monkey out of someone. — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com If you know of a potential WMD, send the site address and your name, age and city 2. Brokeback was filmed during July 2004. On average, how high PAGE INSERTS of residence to theflipside@dispatch.com. Please, nothing too racy _ Big Brother is watching us here at the Big D. NEWS OF THE WEIRD does the mercury get in the city In December, University of Maine of Calgary, in July? Take an exclusive look at what’s inside! geologists reported that dozens of methane fields off the coast of Maine were releasing large amounts of gas, disrupting the ocean floor and creating massive bubbles. — Chuck Shepherd a. 42 degrees b. 55 degrees Universal Press Syndicate c. 63 degrees d. 74 degrees TRIVIA | ALBERTA Brokeback Mountain has triggered a rush of interest in the sweeping vistas of Wyoming, but the movie was actually filmed in Alberta. How much do you know about the 3. Athletes and spectators Canadian province? 1. Speaking of sweeping vistas, which of these epic American stormed Calgary for the Our cover model Guitar makes sweet music in a sexy tales was actually filmed in America? a. Legends of the Fall Winter Olympics in what year? Old Navy bikini ($33) and flip-flops by Noteworthy ($1) b. Texas Rangers c. Unforgiven d. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid a. 1980 b. 1984 PAGE INSERTS 1988 d. 1992 c. 2. Brokeback was filmed during July 2004. On average, how high does the mercury get in the city of Calgary, in July? a. 42 degrees b. 55 degrees Take an exclusive look at what’s inside! c. 63 degrees d. 74 degrees 3. Athletes and spectators stormed Calgary for the Winter Olympics in what year? 4. Albertan John L. Edlund a. 1980 b. 1984 c. 1988 d. 1992 received a patent for what wacky invention? 4. Albertan John L. Edlund received a patent for what wacky invention? a. a beer case with handles a. a beer case with handles big enough to accommodate heavy mittens b. a life-preserver suitcase c. designer snowshoes big enough to accommodate ∑ You’ll flip a lid over Trash Can, ∑ Sleek, elegant and reflective, ∑ Warm up with Toaster, the perfect ∑ The curvaceous Vase turns its d. organic hockey pucks the hottest new stainless-steel model Medicine Cabinet shows off its model for a specially designed suit back to our camera. Enjoy the view! this side of the kitchen. Check out form but keeps its contents a secret. that could pop off at any moment! Body painting by Charlie Zimkus 5. What ’80s Teen Beat hottie those shiny flat surfaces! Va-voom! No peeking! Coin bikini designed with U.S. Mint heavy mittens hails from the Great White North? Swimsuit by Delfina ($250) Tankini top and bottom Top and bottom by Circo ($12.99) quarters and Crest Glide Compact Plus a. Rob Lowe by Mossimo ($35.98) Flip-flops by Noteworthy ($1) dental floss b. Kirk Cameron Hat by Tula ($19.99) c. Ralph Macchio d. Michael J. Fox ANSWERS 1. d; 2. d; 3. c; 4. b; 5. d b. a life-preserver suitcase RENEE SAUER | DISPATCH PHOTOS; NICK CHORDAS, PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT; CHARLIE ZIMKUS, STYLING AND BODY PAINTING c. designer snowshoes ‘SI’ editors disoriented — DallasNews.com PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays by her Southern Hemisphere Just to prove we actually read ∑ You’ll flip a lid over Trash Can, ∑ Sleek, elegant and reflective, ∑ Warm up with Toaster, the perfect ∑ The curvaceous Vase turns its K-Fed is fed up 71 | Rue McClanahan, actress the Sports Illustrated swimsuit (The Golden Girls) the hottest new stainless-steel model Medicine Cabinet shows off its model for a specially designed suit back to our camera. Enjoy the view! with his bad rap issue, we bring you this item: Kevin Federline is bracing for the backlash over his forthcom- ing rap album, but he acknowl- 60 | Tyne Daly, actress (Cagney Lacey) 60 | Tricia Nixon Cox d. organic hockey pucks The magazine fails geography. In her bio, bikini model Yesica Toscanini talks about being from edges that his slacker image in the media can’t get any worse. ‘‘Sure, there’ll be initial shock 53 | William Petersen, actor (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation) Argentina and living in Buenos Aires. The only problem is that the headline says: ‘‘What you this side of the kitchen. Check out form but keeps its contents a secret. that could pop off at any moment! Body painting by Charlie Zimkus 5. What ’80s Teen Beat hottie and awe,’’ he told Newsweek 51 | Kelsey Grammer, actor should know about Brazil is . . .’’ about his debut album, set for release in the spring. ‘‘But (Frasier) 48 | Mary Chapin Carpenter, Lachey wants share those shiny flat surfaces! Va-voom! No peeking! Coin bikini designed with U.S. Mint HOW TO REACH US they’ve already said so much (bleep) about me, it can’t get worse: ‘He hates his children; he country singer 45 | Christopher Atkins, actor hails from the Great White North? of her ample assets Nick Lachey is seeking spousal support from estranged wife Swimsuit by Delfina ($250) Tankini top and bottom Top and bottom by Circo ($12.99) quarters and Crest Glide Compact Plus (The Blue Lagoon) treats his wife like dirt; he gets Jessica Simpson, but the Dukes FLIP SIDE EDITOR high all day.’ If I was that bad, 27 | Jennifer Love Hewitt, actress EON PRODUCTIONS of Hazzard beauty has petitioned Steve Berry.............614-461-8536 you think anyone, let alone (Ghost Whisperer) Daniel Craig is already looking forward to a sequel: Licence To Drill. the court not to comply. Lachey sberry@dispatch.com ∑ We welcome your comments, complaints and kudos. Britney (Spears), would put up with it?’’ We’ll assume he was asking rhetorically. 20 | Charlotte Church, singer a. Rob Lowe New James Bond sinks his teeth into role Daniel Craig is off to a tough and the crew thought Craig’s acting was superb as he stum- bled backward clutching his has requested ‘‘miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects,’’ a share of Simpson’s earnings from after the date of by Mossimo ($35.98) Flip-flops by Noteworthy ($1) dental floss E-mail.... theflipside@dispatch.com Brit still dancing b. Kirk Cameron Sean outside because she fears start as 007. While filming mouth. But as blood poured out, separation and other assets. Hat by Tula ($19.99) Fax ..........................614-559-1754 around lap issue the advances of aggressive Casino Royale in Prague, the they realized that something Simpson, who filed for divorce Mail: The Flip Side, The Dispatch Speaking of K-Fed’s missis, paparazzi. ‘‘I mean, Princess actor lost two front teeth during was wrong. Because he didn’t Dec. 16, reportedly earned more 34 S. 3rd St. Spears is still defending herself Diana got killed by one of these his first fight scene. The stunt think he could get proper dental than $30 million last year. The Columbus, OH 43215 for driving with her infant son, people,’’ she told People apparently went awry, and Craig work in the Czech Republic, the couple had no prenup. c. Ralph Macchio You say you get The Flip Side Sean Preston, on her lap. The magazine. ‘‘They’re crossing took a punch in the mouth. Ini- actor had his dentist flown in — Compiled by Steve Berry for the articles? Sure you do. pop singer says she rarely takes the line.’’ tially, director Martin Campbell from London to fix his choppers. sberry@dispatch.com 02/21 d. Michael J. Fox THE FLIP SIDE, PAGE B8 RENEE SAUER | DISPATCH PHOTOS; NICK CHORDAS, PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT; CHARLIE ZIMKUS, STYLING AND BODY PAINTING ANSWERS 1. d; 2. d; 3. c; 4. b; 5. d ‘SI’ editors disoriented — DallasNews.com PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Today’s birthdays by her Southern Hemisphere Just to prove we actually read
- 55. n :Desig mile w ith a S Our cover model Guitar makes sweet music in a sexy Old Navy bikini ($33) and flip-flops by Noteworthy ($1) PAGE INSERTS Take an exclusive look at what’s inside! ∑ You’ll flip a lid over Trash Can, ∑ Sleek, elegant and reflective, ∑ Warm up with Toaster, the perfect ∑ The curvaceous Vase turns its the hottest new stainless-steel model Medicine Cabinet shows off its model for a specially designed suit back to our camera. Enjoy the view! this side of the kitchen. Check out form but keeps its contents a secret. that could pop off at any moment! Body painting by Charlie Zimkus those shiny flat surfaces! Va-voom! No peeking! Coin bikini designed with U.S. Mint Swimsuit by Delfina ($250) Tankini top and bottom Top and bottom by Circo ($12.99) quarters and Crest Glide Compact Plus by Mossimo ($35.98) Flip-flops by Noteworthy ($1) dental floss Hat by Tula ($19.99) RENEE SAUER | DISPATCH PHOTOS; NICK CHORDAS, PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT; CHARLIE ZIMKUS, STYLING AND BODY PAINTING
- 56. WMD THE SIDE Web sites of Mass Distraction FLIP n :Desig mile are entertainment-oriented sites (humor, jokes, office time-killers). w ith a S synchronized – swimming + rhythmic = music video shooting + archery + equestrian = John Wayne movie swimming gymnastics www.malevole.com/mv/ misc/killerquiz You know you’ve thought about it. Finally, an online quiz puts the physical resemblance between computer geeks and mass mur- – + = + – = derers to the test. “Programming beach volleyball volleyball tae kwon do training scene soccer handball running stuck playing goalie language inventor or serial killer?” in The Karate Kid presents visitors with 10 photo- graphs of the shadiest-looking dudes this side of an all-night diner next to a riverboat casino. We scored a respectable seven out of 10, meaning we know our “slashers from our slashdotters.” Or just well – + = + – = enough. table tennis tennis wrestling dining “family style” shooting judo running Steven Seagal movie — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com Collaborate. NEWS OF THE WEIRD Police, including SWAT officers, were sent in June to an apartment in Mesa, Ariz., after neighbors reported a fight between a man and a woman that included shouts and broken items. Upon arrival, the authorities found only a 21-year-old man — conducting the fight by DISTORTING EVENTS A stick figure is worth at least a couple of words ( ) himself, alternating a high-pitched voice with a low-pitched one. He was referred for a medical exami- By Nick Chordas ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH nation. — Chuck Shepherd If sport is an international language, then Olympic pictograms provide the shorthand. Universal Press Syndicate 0 The simplistic but informative drawings litter the Web site of the Beijing Olympics and — after tracking results for the past few days — our brains. 0 As a result, we’ve come up with some new interpretations of the symbols. 0 So tear yourself away from Bob Costas for a few minutes as we present pictogram combos that speak to subjects beyond the games. nchordas@dispatch.com PubDate: 08-12-08 Page: 8 D Edition: 1 Replate: User: sberry Color:C K Y M D8 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH TUESDAY, AUGUST 12, 2008 BREAKING NEWS: DISPATCH.COM WMD THESIDE Web sites of Mass Distraction are entertainment-oriented sites (humor, jokes, office time-killers). FLIP + = + + + = – + = + + = synchronized swimming rhythmic music video shooting archery equestrian John Wayne movie swimming gymnastics www.malevole.com/mv/ misc/killerquiz You know you’ve thought about it. Finally, an online quiz puts the physical resemblance between computer geeks and mass mur- – + = + – = derers to the test. “Programming beach volleyball volleyball tae kwon do training scene soccer handball running stuck playing goalie language inventor or serial killer?” in The Karate Kid presents visitors with 10 photo- graphs of the shadiest-looking dudes this side of an all-night diner next to a riverboat casino. We – + = + – = field hockey boxing ice hockey weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting prison life scored a respectable seven out of 10, meaning we know our “slashers from our slashdotters.” Or just well enough. table tennis tennis wrestling dining “family style” shooting judo running Steven Seagal movie — Nick Chordas nchordas@dispatch.com NEWS OF THE WEIRD Police, including SWAT officers, were sent in June to an apartment in Mesa, Ariz., after neighbors reported a fight between a man and a woman that included shouts and broken items. Upon arrival, the authorities found only a 21-year-old SOUR NOTES DISTORTING EVENTS A stick figure is worth at least a couple of words Who let these dogs out? For every + = – + + = man — conducting the fight by ( ) himself, alternating a high-pitched voice with a low-pitched one. He was referred for a medical exami- By Nick Chordas ,THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH nation. classic pop song, hundreds of — Chuck Shepherd If sport is an international language, then Olympic pictograms provide the shorthand. Universal Press Syndicate 0 The simplistic but informative drawings litter the Web site of the Beijing Olympics and — after tracking results for the past few days — our brains. 0 As a result, we’ve come up with clunkers crowd the airwaves. some new interpretations of the symbols. 0 So tear yourself away from Bob Costas for a few minutes as we present pictogram combos that speak to subjects beyond the games. nchordas@dispatch.com Here, from the editors of AOL Music + = and + + are+the worst 25 songs Radio, = soccer diving yellow card beach volleyball volleyball swimming running Baywatch of all time. field hockey boxing ice hockey weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting prison life SOUR NOTES Who let these dogs out? For every + = – + + = For the complete list of the 111 classic pop song, hundreds of clunkers crowd the airwaves. Here, from the editors of AOL Music and Radio, are the worst 25 songs soccer diving yellow card beach volleyball volleyball swimming running Baywatch worst songs, visit spinner.com. “ ” of all time. For the complete list of the 111 worst songs, visit spinner.com. (Prepare to argue among your- “ ” selves.) – = + + + = (Prepare to argue among your- – = + + + = 1. Who Let the Dogs Out (Baha Men) fencing weightlifting Star Wars convention canoe slalom archery shooting “wrestling” Deliverance selves.) 2. Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice) 3. She Bangs (Ricky Martin) 4. Barbie Girl (Aqua) 5. U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) 6. I Am Woman (Helen Reddy) 7. I’m Too Sexy (Right Said Fred) 8. Ebony and Ivory (Paul + = – – – = McCartney and Stevie Wonder) 1. Who Let the Dogs Out sailing shooting illegal fishing triathlon swimming cycling running our weekend 9. Macarena (Los del Rio) 10. My Heart Will Go On CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH (Celine Dion) 11. Wannabe (Spice Girls) (Baha Men) SHORT STUFF 12. With Arms Wide Open (Creed) 13. Convoy (C.W. McCall) 14. Rico Suave (Gerardo) PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Back- fencing weightlifting Star Wars convention canoe slalom archery shooting “wrestling” Deliverance tracking: We 15. Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani) can’t find 2. Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice) 16. Thong Song (Sisqo) President backs U.S. team The agony of the feet fault with 17. Achy Breaky Heart (Billy Ray George Bush executed some of President Here’s a church-bulletin gem from Cyrus) his best Olympic diplomacy while Bush’s deci- The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said by 18. Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith) visiting the U.S. women’s beach- sion to con- Ross and Kathryn Petras: 19. What’s Up (4 Non Blondes) 3. She Bangs (Ricky Martin) volleyball team in Beijing. The gratulate “Last time we asked for prayer for 20. The Final Countdown (Europe) president made a good play Misty May- Jerry Butler’s foot. After nine months of 21. The Superbowl Shuffle (Chicago during practice, and — in the Treanor with various treatments, it’s finally all Bears) tradition of female volleyball a pat on the gone.” 22. One Week (Barenaked Ladies) 4. Barbie Girl (Aqua) players — Misty May-Treanor back instead 23. We Built This City (Starship) Bone appetite! leaned over and asked whether he of a slap on 24. Nookie (Limp Bizkit) wanted to slap her posterior. the back- Menu items at a New York deli: 25. Hangin’ Tough (New Kids on Bush smiled and tapped her back. side. Team- French creeps. the Block) mate Kerri 5. U Can’t Touch This Reuters quickly corrected its Chapped liver. photo caption, noting that Bush Walsh playfully patted her “back” — not surveys the Groan-up humor her “backside.” action. From The Little Giant Book of Riddles: (MC Hammer) – – – Fruit of the loon Q: What did the tooth say to the = GERALD HERBERT ASSOCIATED PRESS + = Matthew McConaughey plans dentist? to bury his son’s placenta in an Going to bat for charity A: “Fill ’er up!” orchard to fertilize the land — a la Today’s birthdays New York Yankees slugger Alex Q: What does the dentist do on his 6. I Am Woman (Helen Reddy) rituals in several cultures. “It’s Rodriguez is donating $500,000 to yacht? going to bear some wonderful 69 ,George Hamilton, actor Madonna’s favorite charity, A: Offshore drilling. fruit,” he told CNN. The actor and (Zorro, the Gay Blade) Raising Malawi, New York’s Daily Q: When do most of your dollars go his partner, Camila Alves, had 59 ,Mark Knopfler, rock singer News reports. to the orthodontist? 7. I’m Too Sexy (Right Said Fred) their first child, son Levi, on and musician (Dire Straits) A: When you have buckteeth. July 7. Courting Jolie 54 ,Pat Metheny, jazz musician Presidential hopefuls John Tuneful trivia No fear of loan sharks 33 ,Casey Affleck, actor McCain and Barack Obama are From these lyrics to a popular song, HOW TO REACH US Richard Dreyfuss is suing his (Ocean’s Thirteen) both pursuing the endorsement 8. Ebony and Ivory (Paul identify the artist and title. father and uncle for refusing to of Angelina Jolie, Variety says. “It’s like I waited my whole life (oh) / repay an $870,000 loan from “For this one night (one night) / FLIP SIDE EDITOR 1984, E! Online reports. The actor was arrested yesterday for Headline du jour “It’s gonna be me, you and the dance Steve Berry...............614-461-8536 says his father, Norman, and allegedly hitting his wife, Lesley, From The Onion: floor (dance floor).” McCartney and Stevie Wonder) sberry@dispatch.com uncle Gilbert have acted with when the couple got into an “Entire Refrigerator Rearranged See the answer below. E-mail .......theflipside@dispatch.com “malice.” argument after attending a party To Accommodate Leftover KFC sailing shooting illegal fishing triathlon swimming cycling running our weekend Answer: Chris Brown, Forever Fax ...........................614-559-1754 in Los Angeles, TMZ.com reports. Bucket” He’s no hero The quarrel reportedly broke out 9. Macarena (Los del Rio) “Humor” + newsprint - laughs = Alan Panettiere, father of after he accused her of “dis- — Compiled by Steve Berry — the Flip Side staff and The Flip Side. Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, respecting” him. sberry@dispatch.com McClatchy-Tribune News Service 08-12-08 10. My Heart Will Go On PAGE D8 CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH (Celine Dion) 11. Wannabe (Spice Girls) 12. With Arms Wide Open (Creed) 13. Convoy (C.W. McCall) 14. Rico Suave (Gerardo) PEOPLE IN THE NEWS Back-
- 57. n :Desig mile w ith a S + + + = ey weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting weightlifting prison life – + + = rd beach volleyball volleyball swimming running Baywatch “ ” + + + = vention canoe slalom archery shooting “wrestling” Deliverance – – – =
- 58. beach volleyball volleyball swimming running Baywatch n :Desig mile w ith a S “ ” + + + = ntion canoe slalom archery shooting “wrestling” Deliverance – – – = g triathlon swimming cycling running our weekend CHARLIE ZIMKUS DISPATCH Back- tracking: We can’t find SHORT STUFF fault with The agony of the feet President Here’s a church-bulletin gem from Bush’s deci- The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said by sion to con- Ross and Kathryn Petras: gratulate “Last time we asked for prayer for Misty May- Jerry Butler’s foot. After nine months of Treanor with various treatments, it’s finally all
- 59. n :Desig mile w ith a S THE EN:D Charlie Zimkus : : czimkus@dispatch.com www.charliezimkus.com