Editing & Proofing
- 2. 5 minutes What is your topic? What questions are you trying to answer? What is your thesis (statement)/position? What evidence have you used? How have you collected it? How have you presented that evidence? How have you analysed that evidence
- 3. Drafting/Proofing Fragments Tenses Wordiness Tips Checklist
- 4. I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. James Michener
- 5. Sentence Fragments "Hey, John, do you want to get some lunch?" "I can't. Too much work to finish before the lecture." Though the remark includes the verb "finish" and several nouns, the sentence is a fragment. It lacks a subject and verb to define the sentence. A corrected response would include a subject and verb: "I can't. I have too much homework to finish before the lecture."
- 6. How to Spot a Fragment Put each phrase through a simple test: Does it have a verb? Does it have a subject? Can the phrase make sense standing alone (is it a dependent clause or phrase)? Any phrase that answers "yes" to all three questions is a sentence. If any of the answers are "no," then it is a fragment.
- 7. Other hints: Fragments are often prepositional phrases, beginning with words like these: after, although, because, before, if, though, unless, until, when, where, who, which, and that. When you see such a word at the beginning of a sentence, check for a proper subject and verb. If you can't find one, the sentence is a fragment. "We are going to play tennis outside today. Unless it rains." Remember, even phrases which may have a noun and verb can be fragments if they could not stand alone. "Unless it rains" makes no sense by itself, so it should be attached to a sentence: "We are going to play tennis outside today, unless it rains.“ "Tony Blair. Building a nation for the future."
- 8. Correct the following For the past twenty years, the Survey Research Centre at the University of Oxford has been measuring the level of the British electorate’s trust and confidence in their politicians and quasi-political trust and confidence in their political institutions and their leaders. "Political" being all levels of government, and "quasi-political" churches, unions, large professional/business associations, educational institutions, and the like. The result is that a very sharp decline has taken place every year since 1964.
- 9. Correct the following For 200 years the British believed in better jobs, better homes, a better life for one's children. This confidence no longer exists. Polls now indicate that fewer people who feel they are better off today than they were five years ago. A public-opinion analysis group has found that large numbers of people, at some times and in some places, see themselves as lower on the ladder. Adding worse living conditions and anticipation of further decline over the next five years.
- 10. Correct the following A prime minister is an appointed leader. Someone who is a decision maker in the executive branch of our government. This doesn't necessarily mean that the person the people elect is capable. Just hopefully assumes. Assumes through his past record as a politician, over the years' build-up of experience and handling situations.
- 11. Tense Consistency Writing often involves telling stories. Sometimes we narrate a story as our main purpose in writing; sometimes we include brief anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios as illustrations or reference points in an assignment. Even an assignment that does not explicitly tell a story involves implied time frames for the actions discussed and states described. Changes in verb tense help readers understand the temporal relationships among various narrated events. But unnecessary or inconsistent shifts in tense can cause confusion. Generally, writers maintain one tense for the main discourse and indicate changes in time frame by changing tense relative to that primary tense, which is usually either simple past or simple present. Even apparently non-narrative writing should employ verb tenses consistently and clearly.
- 12. What are the most appropriate tenses for the following? In Banjuh, the capital of Gambia, I met with a group of Gambians. They __ (tell) ___ me how for centuries the history of Africa has been preserved. In the older villages of the back country, there are old men called griots, who __ (be) __ in effect living archives. Such men ___ (memorize) _____ and, on special occasions, _ (recite) ____ the cumulative histories of clans or families or villages as those histories __ (have) ____ long been told. Since my forefather _ (have) ___ said his name was Kin-tay (properly spelled Kinte), and since the Kinte clan __ (be) ___ known in Gambia, the group of Gambians would see what they could do to help me. I was back in New York when a registered letter __ (arrive) ___ from Gambia.Word ____ (have) ___ been passed in the back country, and a griot of the Kinte clan _ (have) ____ , indeed, been found. His name, the letter said, __ (be) __ Kebba Kanga Fofana. I __ (return) ___ to Gambia and __ (organize) _____ a safari to locate him.
- 13. Tenses Although the main tense in the following paragraph is past, the writer correctly shifts to present tense twice. Find these two verbs in present tense. If you encounter difficulty, try reading the paragraph aloud. The Iroquois Indians of the Northeast regularly burned land to increase open space for agriculture. In fact, the early settlers of Boston found so few trees that they had to row out to the islands in the harbour to obtain fuel. Just how far north this practice extended is uncertain, but the Saco River in southern Maine appears to have been the original northern boundary of the agricultural clearings. Then, pressured by European settlement, the Iroquois extended their systematic burning far northward, even into the Maritime Provinces of Canada. abridged from Hay and Farb, The Atlantic Shore
- 14. Tenses Read the following paragraph through, and determine the main tense. Then reread it and circle the three verbs that shift incorrectly from the main tense. For the past seven years, I have called myself a swimmer. Swimming, my one sport, provides a necessary outlet for my abundant energy. I have always drawn satisfaction from exertion, straining my muscles to their limits. I don't know why pushing forward in the water, as my muscles cried out in pain, sets off a booming cheer in my head. Many times when I rounded the turn for the last lap of a race, my complaining muscles want to downshift and idle to the finish. My mind, however, presses the pedal to the floor and yells, "FASTER!" The moment that I touched the wall my muscles relax; the pain subsides. I am pleased to have passed the point of conflict. adapted from Brendon MacLean, Harder!
- 15. Wordiness Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. There are many students completing their studies who are planning to attend the meeting which is scheduled for next Friday. Although ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ is regularly studied by students on the unit, close examination of the film as text is seldom undertaken by them. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the Department within the next few months. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in exploring how identities are gendered may come to do so.
- 16. Tips
- 17. Tips
- 18. Checklist: Ideas Case study has a title which suggests topic/thesis Case study takes a position on a debatable point (not just observation/description) Thesis makes sense (is defensible) Case study presents a logical argument in support of its thesis Important ideas/concepts are addressed Evidence is appropriate Evidence is followed by analysis (interpretation) Introduction provides context and direction
- 19. Checklist: Organisation Clear thesis statement is found at or near end of 1st paragraph Paragraphs are unified and coherent Purpose of each paragraph is clear (represents a logical step in argument) Transitions between paragraphs are logical All necessary steps in argument are included (no leaps in logic) There is adequate support for each step in argument Points are made in logical order (e.g. most general/simple/obvious to most specific/complex/subtle) Summaries are provided only to make a point Paper is of appropriate length for assignment Concluding paragraphs are emphatic, relevant, logical Margins and line spacing are correct