Ind eng-750-doc
- 1. Project for Design for change; National Education Society’s high school, Bhandup (W), Mumbai -78. Topic of our project: Deepasthamb 1. Feel… 1. To help the single parent student in emoting his/her hidden emotions ( anxiety, anger, disappointment, guilt) 2. To help the child to cope up with their personal shortcomings and accept the reality with a positive attitude. 3. To help the child to regain his/her lost self esteem, self- respect and improve self image. 2. Imagine: 1. To allow the child to leave the class if the emotions become over whelmed. 2. To make the child to release a balloon with a note expressing his/her personal feelings. 3. To start a column in school/ class magazine in which the student can place a memorial page or picture of their beloved one. 4. Initiating a scholarship fund to help them cope financially. 3. Do: School decided the following steps to be taken: 1. Conduct a session for the parent in order to make them understand how to enclose the reason of the missing parent. 2. We created various situations wherein the child can bring out their emotions in a positive manner. 3. Created a scholarship fund to assist them financially. Following changes were observed: 1. Socialization among the children increased 2. Their self confidence, self respect and their self image got boosted. 3. Students started accepting the reality instead of denial.
- 2. Changes observed in our outlook: 1. Got an inside view of the child’s fear and unexpressed emotions. 2. How the all round development of the child gets blocked due to the missing parent. Number to student participated: 21 ( from Std. VI & VII ) Number of people impacted: Teachers, family members and their class mates. Single –Parenting. Single-parent (also alone parent, solo parent) is a parent who cares for one or more children without the physical assistance of the other parent. Reasons for being single parenting: Divorce. Adoption. Artificial insemination. Surrogate motherhood. Effect on children: The effects of single-parent family life on children fall into two categories: (1) Those attributed to the lower socioeconomic status of single parents and (2) The short-term consequences of divorce that moderate over time. In mother-only families, children tend to experience short-and long- term economic and psychological disadvantages; higher absentee rates at school, lower levels of education, and higher dropout rates (with boys more negatively affected than girls); and more delinquent activity, including alcohol and drug addiction. A common explanation for the problems found among the children of single parents has been the absence of a male adult in the family. Negative Effects of Single parenting. The most immediate and largely observed effect is a significant drop in the performance level of the children. This leads to the development of a negative attitude towards life, which further reduces academic, extracurricular or co-curricular performance.
- 3. This vicious circle of pessimism and bad performance, ultimately gives way to larger evils like depression, alcohol or drug abuse, development of hateful thinking process and similar problems. N.E.S. Suggested ways in talking to children(grief): Listen to and take your cues from the child. Find out what they know or what they are aware of happening. Don't assume they are afraid. Conversely, don't assume that they are unaware of what has happened. Pay attention to when children want to talk or have questions. Make sure they know you are available if they want to ask questions. Answer their questions directly. Give honest, simple, brief answers to their questions, but don't give them more information than they asks for or that they need. Make sure they understand your answers and the meaning you intend. Use words or phrases that won't confuse a child or make the world more frightening. Take their fears seriously. Talk to them calmly. Be especially loving and supportive. Gauge their media exposure according to their age. Babies, toddlers and preschoolers should be shielded from media reports as much as possible. Limit exposure for school age children. Be sure you watch with them. N.E.S COUNSELLING CENTER: Ways of helping grieving child: It is pointless to focus on trying to protect them. Rather those who deal with children should focus on preparing, understanding and supporting children and adolescents to cope with loss. Children's losses are often invalidated with many believing that they are too young to feel the loss or a grief response. While the way children respond varies significantly depending on their age, even infants can "sense" when something is amiss. Children's Reactions are Dependent on Many Factors: The cause and type of death, event or tragedy. The child's age, sex and developmental stage.
- 4. The nature of the relationship to the lost object. The manner in which the child is informed of the loss. How well the child is prepared for the death, if anticipated. The child's mental health prior to the loss or death. The reality, honesty and scope of the information given to the child. The openness of the environment to allow and promote discussion of the topic. The nature and availability of a support system. Parents, family and other significant adult's ability to acknowledge and role model grieving. The child's self-esteem. The availability of a stable household and/or adults. The families’ ability to adjust to the loss and keep on living. Familial support, understanding and acknowledgment of the child's emotions—anger, fear, sadness, guilt and depression. Normal, Common Grief Responses in Children. Some common ways children might respond to a death or loss include: Sadness. Denial, shock and confusion. Anger: At the person who died. At the surviving parent. At doctors and nurses for not saving the life of the person who died. At God, self and life. Inability to sleep. Nightmares. Loss of appetite. Fear : Of being alone. That the other parent will die. That they will die. Of hospitals and doctors. Of getting lose to others who might die. Physical complaints such as stomachaches and headaches. Loss of concentration. Guilt :
- 5. Over failure to prevent the loss. That they caused the sickness, illness, tragedy or death. That they could not save the person from dying. That they are having fun while someone else is sick, dead or dying. Depression or a loss of interest in daily activities and events . Coping strategies for children: Maintain Routines: Children of all ages can benefit if the family keeps to their usual routines for meals, activities, and bedtimes. Keeping the routine as close to normal as possible allows a child to feel more familiar and therefore more secure and in control. As much as possible, children should stay with people with whom they feel most familiar. Reaffirm Relationships - Remember Hugs: Love and care in the family is a primary need. Following tragedy children may become more dependent for a period of time. Give those extra hugs or touching if needed. Physical closeness is needed. It can also be of benefit for grieving adults. Let them keep the light on at night or not sleep alone or return to having their favorite teddy bear or blanket. Don't complain about their clinging behavior. Limit Exposure to News Coverage: As adults we know that overexposure to the media can be traumatizing. Children can also become traumatized by watching tragic events on television, particularly those in the preschool to kindergarten age groups who are often unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Babies, toddlers and preschoolers should be shielded from media reports as much as possible. It is best not to allow children or adolescents view footage of traumatic events over and over, or watch the media coverage alone. Parents should view the images in newspapers and magazines before allowing their children to see the images. Feelings and Reactions: Following a death, loss or tragic event children may express their feelings and react in different ways. Parents and other significant adults in the child's life need to acceptance of the various feelings and emotions that may result. Some children may become withdrawn and unable to talk about the event. Others will feel intensely sad or angry at times and at other times they may act as though the disaster never happened. Some children may appear not to have been affected by the events. Some may have delayed
- 6. reactions that may take days, weeks or months to manifest. Some children may never have a reaction. How parents and other adults react makes a difference to how your child recovers from the trauma. Parents should be prepared to tolerate regressive behaviors and accept manifestations of aggression and anger especially in the early phases after the loss. Other ways of expressing the Loss: Children may find it useful if they are given other ways of expressing how they are feeling. Some useful alternative ways of expression include painting, drawing, or writing about the event. Adults or older children can help pre-school children to reenact the event since pre-school children may not be able to imagine alternative "endings" to the disaster and hence may feel particularly helpless. It may also be helpful to have children write a letter to the person who has died. Plant a tree. Make a poster or collage with drawings, pictures and thoughts. Helping children with loss: Children are physical in their grief. Watch their bodies, and understand and support their play and actions as their “language” of grief. Offer reassurance. Children can be fearful about death and the future. Give them a chance to talk about their fears and validate their feelings. Share happy memories about the person who died. Offer a simple expression of sorrow and take time to listen. Children need choices. Whenever possible, offer choices in what they do or don’t do to memorialize the deceased and ways to express their feelings about the death. Help the child plant a tree or dedicate a place in memory of the person who died. Children grieve as part of a family. Children grieve the person and the “changed” behavior and environment of family and friends. Keep regular routines as much as possible. Children are repetitive in their grief. Respond patiently to their uncertainty and concerns. It can take a long time to recover from a loss. Expect their grief to revisit in cycles throughout their childhood or adolescence. A strong reminder, such as the anniversary of a death, may reawaken grief. Make yourself available to talk. Helping children cope with death:
- 7. Children may find new, unknown experiences to be confusing and frightening, consequently, most children do not know what to expect following the loss of a family member or friend. To help children cope with a death, parents, caregivers, teachers and other significant adults in their life must understand how they think about death and what has changed for them. The adults in a child's life also need to be aware of the normal childhood responses to death, as well as signs that a child is having difficulty coping with grief. During the weeks following the death, it is normal for some children to feel immediate grief, or hold onto the belief that the family member is still alive. Use concrete terms when explaining death. Avoid terms such as "passed on" or "went to sleep" Children may not understand that these terms mean the person has "died." Answer their questions about death simply and honestly. Only offer details that they can absorb. Try not to overload them with information. Allow him/her to attend the funeral if he/she wants to but do not force it. Let him/her know what to expect at the funeral. Give the child alternatives for using his grief positively—drawing, other creative means of expression, writing letters, reading or writing poetry, stories. Make sure your child doesn't feel at fault. Give the child choices in what they do or don't do the remember the deceased. Allow the child to participate in the family rituals if he/she wants to—going to the funeral or cemetery, helping plan the ceremony, picking flowers, etc. Allow the child to talk about the deceased, but don’t push them to talk about their feelings. Be aware that children need time to grieve and be upset. Let them know you are available to listen when they are ready to talk. Provide reassurance and validate their feelings when they express them. The family's spiritual beliefs about death should be explained in simple terms. However, the child may not understand the meaning and although he/she can repeat what was said, he/she may not still not comprehend what death means. Children can be fearful about death. Give them a chance to talk about their fears and listen when they express their fears. Be patient. It may take them a long time to recover from their loss.
- 8. Expect that their grief may recur throughout their childhood or adolescence. Strong reminders, such as the anniversary of a death, a birthday, or a celebration without the loved one may reawaken grief. Be available to talk. Children may even mourn the environment that existed before the death; they grieve the "changed" behavior. It can be helpful to keep to regular routines. The case study: Aim: To know the effects on children on single –parenting. Materials: paper Pencil. Procedure: case-study. Subjects: 6th and 7th standard student. The case study included following questions: Name: Age: Sex: STD: Div: Family history: Relationship with surviving parent: How long had the incident had been: Reason known/unknown: Informant: Academics: Difficulties faced at school: Difficulties in participating in extra curricular activities: Difficulties faced in general: Are friends supportive at school? Emotional /expressed feeling: Physical issues: Social issues:
- 9. Perception towards future, self and others: Positive things that you want to adapt by surviving parent: Negative things that you want to adapt by surviving parent: Your ambition: Hobbies: Difficulties faced at home: Results: The case study was done on 6th and 7th standard selected students whose one of the parent wasn’t surviving, the client was made to sit comfortably and rapport was build then their case history was noted down .the results obtained was that their were many students approximately 20 out of 21 students were unaware of the reason for their missing parents death, the students had reported that they missed their parents (dead) especially on social occasions such as open day, festivals etc. The school decided to conduct a session for parents in order to make them understand how to enclose the reason of the dead parent so that it doesn’t come as a shock to the child? The school also conducted individual session with child in order to know what were the needs that were unmet of the child (emotional/physical/financial/social). The school decided to boost these students self confidence by helping them in academics, praises if done work correctly, help them come forward for extra curricular activities so that they become productive individuals of tomorrow. For emotional issues a help of school counselor was consulted .The follow up session was decided for these students in order to see these children’s progress. Role of a school: A teacher should have a good rapport with the child. The teacher should help the children understand how devastated their classmate feels. Explain that this child may be more tired than usual, more irritable, and less interested in playing. Advise them that their classmate may want to talk about the loss and encourage them to listen. A teacher should be a good role model, showing children how to express emotions in a healthy and nondestructive fashion.
- 10. Class room teacher can provide a safe heaven for the grieving child by: Allowing the child to leave the room when needed. Allowing the child to call home if necessary. Changing some work assignments. Creating some private time in the day. Assigning a class helper. Creating a visit to the school counselor periodically. Having an assembly about the student. Creating a memorial wall with stories and pictures of shared events. Creating a ceremony, releasing a balloon with a special note or lighting a candle. Placing a memorial page or picture in the school year book or school newspaper. Sending flowers to the grieving family. Initiating a scholarship fund. Planting a memory garden. Talk to the child’s teacher and arrange a private time for the teacher and child to meet together before the child returns to school. Let the child tell the teacher in his own words about the death in the family. Let the child share with the teacher what information the teacher is allowed to give to the class about the death. Many times having the teacher share the information with the class takes the secrecy and taboo feeling out of the air and it enables a grieving child to relax. The child should be given the option of being present when the teacher discusses the death in the child’s family, or he can have the information shared when he is absent. Tell a child that is mourning the loss of a family member that he doesn’t have to feel obligated to answer any/all of the questions that may be asked of them about the death. Give the child permission to tell his friends and teachers that he simply doesn’t want to talk about it.