Introduction to basic communications for secondary school students

Editor's Notes

• #2: Early Career Planning for Secondary School Students SPM: WHY IT IS SO CRUCIAL FOR YOUR FUTURE?
• #4: Observe and take note on how each participant introduce themselves -standing/sitting -voice – clear/unclear, intonation -oral communication, language proficiency Eye contact – focus on whom/what Facial expression – serious/lazy Body movement-hand, head and shoulder Body posture – firm/shaky
• #5: As 2 men and 2 ladies….more if time permitted Get others to comment their definitions Get them to have a consensus and write it on the white board – what written to be available at the white board/wall throughout the day
• #12: Ask questions whether -they agree /disagree They care/do not care Briefly explain to them why they should care
• #14: We often mix or more comfortable with people who are with “similar dressing with us Women tend to me more fashion conscious compare to men Men often being misunderstood whenever they tried new fashion especially for middle aged men Good dressing strongly related with ranks/positions
• #17: We often mix or more comfortable with people who are with “similar dressing with us Women tend to me more fashion conscious compare to men Men often being misunderstood whenever they tried new fashion especially for middle aged men Good dressing strongly related with ranks/positions
• #18: We often mix or more comfortable with people who are with “similar dressing with us Women tend to me more fashion conscious compare to men Men often being misunderstood whenever they tried new fashion especially for middle aged men Good dressing strongly related with ranks/positions
• #19: All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure." Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job." Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy." Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry." Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure." Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humour. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
• #20: Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you might indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation." Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They're isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person." Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations. Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that have gone well recently. Consider the skills you've used to cope with challenging situations. Relabeling upsetting thoughts. You don't need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?" Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, "My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal." These steps might seem awkward at first, but they'll get easier with practice. As you begin to recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem, you can actively counter them — which will help you accept your value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being are likely to soar.  
• #46: Fidgeting is the act of moving about restlessly. Fidgeting may be a result of nervousness, agitation, boredom or a combination of these.
• #52: Gazing down their face.  Imagine a triangle on someone’s face.  Use the eyes as the base and the middle of the forehead as the apex.  That’s where you should look in the workplace — it’s how people tell you’re being serious.  Now, imagine an inverted triangle using the eyes as the base and the mouth as the apex.  That’s where people look at each other when they’re flirting.  If you’ve been gazing at people in the office through that inverted triangle instead of the first one, then you’re giving off unprofessional flirting signals.  It could be why no one’s taking you seriously. Tilting your head too much.  When you’re listening to someone speak, it’s not uncommon to tilt your head (this is especially true with women).  However, use it sparingly in the office.  Doing it too much gives the signal that you’re submissive (hence, not a serious “player”).  Instead, project power and authority by keeping your head straight up most of the time. Smiling too much.  I know, that self-help book you read said you should smile all the time because people love it.  Well, that’s still good advice, but be wary of context.  When you’re talking about something serious, look serious.  When you’re talking with a client who’s angry, smiling will make it look like you’re not taking their issues seriously.  Remember: smiling is good, but keep it in its place.
• #53: Nodding too much. Men nod to show agreement.  Women nod for the same reason, too.  However, women also nod to encourage someone to keep talking, to show empathy and a couple other reasons.  This can lead to some miscommunication, which will prove particularly troublesome during workplace interactions. Minimizing the space you take up.  Some women like to physically contract their bodies. That is, they put their elbows to their sides, cross their legs and keep their hands very close to their body.  When in the office, that’s easily taken as a sign that you don’t feel you deserve any power — otherwise, why won’t you take up as much space as you can?   Holding your body like this habitually will get you ignored at work, since that appears to be what you’re asking for (to not be noticed). Girlish behaviour.  Plenty of girlish mannerisms — like twirling your hair, playing with jewellery and the like — aren’t viewed very positively in the workplace, especially if you’re expected to project an image of power and authority.  Avoid them as much as you can.
• #54: Being flirty.  The above behaviour will often be seen as either immature or flirty.  And neither is good.  Flirting in the workplace, in particular, is heavily frowned upon, even in many organizations that don’t have hard and fast rules about dating in the workplace.  Even subtle flirting can turn off people you interact with, especially when they’re serious about their business. High voice.  You know how your voice (we’re assuming you’re a girl, of course) will often rise at the end of sentences as if you’re asking a question?  That will be good if you were actually being inquisitive.  If you’re making a declarative statement, though, avoid that.  Practice ending your sentences on the same note as when you started, allowing your pitch to vary only in the middle.  This lets you come across as more authoritative, rather than unsure, in your statements. Speaking too soft.  There’s nothing wrong with speaking softly.  In many workplaces, though, you want to be adequately for people to really pay attention.  Practice your office speaking voice, working on both loudness and clarity.  It will help you in immense ways, especially if you’re managing people.
• #55: Being too courteous.  This isn’t an isolated female problem, but a lot more women seem to be prone to it. While being courteous is fine in many situations, you want to show initiative by taking control more.  When you want to be heard, speak up.  If someone else is talking and you want to put in a word, don’t be afraid to interrupt.  Being too courteous can turn you mute, especially in an organization filled with strong personalities. Handshake that’s too delicate.  Whether it’s wrong or right, a lot of people will judge someone immediately depending on their handshake.  A strong handshake creates a positive impression, while a delicate one immediately paints you as passive and lacking in confidence.  Practice your business handshake — you’ll be doing it a lot throughout the course of your stay in the professional world. Gestures that are too animated.  A certain amount of animated gestures and movements can help your expressiveness.  Too much, though, and you can end up being regarded as the office clown.  When you want to inspire the troops or dampen bad news, that expressiveness can prove valuable.  When establishing your authority, however, you want to make minimal movements — the queen doesn’t exactly wiggle about when addressing her kingdom, after all.
• #59: Cultivate a Zen-Like Attitude Toward Conversation Making-An act that is "zen like" is an act done without separation. For example, if you What do I mean by zen-like? You need to let go of self-conscious and judgmental thinking. Introverts--listen carefully--you don't need to be an extrovert! Really, it's more important that you are comfortable with yourself and genuinely interested in getting to know other people--like you were when you were a kid. I remember when I was eight, a new girl moved in three houses away. The day she arrived, I marched over there, knocked, and asked "Can the little girl come out and play?” She ended up being my first "best friend." (Hmmm, I wonder if my mom encouraged me to do that?)For me, it helps to remember that most people are happy to engage in a conversation and appreciate when someone else takes the lead. For me, it helps to remember that most people are happy to engage in a conversation and appreciate when someone else takes the lead. Besides being comfortable, it’s also important not to dismiss anyone or prejudge a person by their appearance. You never know what the future will bring. Chris Yeh, a VP at PBwiki, Inc. recently shared this story with me. He said, "At one event, I saw a slight, pimply-faced kid and struck up a conversation...his company was doing $100 million/year in revenues. And as it turned out, I made one of my most successful angel investments because I met the entrepreneur at my acne-afflicted friend's 25th birthday party."An important lesson...don't dismiss anyone.   2. Pay Attention to Everyone and Everything Around You OK, so once you have cultivated your inner Zen, the next step is to pay attention to everyone and everything around you.Pay attention to people--Google them ahead of time. Does somebody have an interesting story? Is someone at the event who can introduce you to the person you *really* want to meet?Pay attention to your immediate environment. Do you see something unusual? Is someone wearing an interesting watch or tie?Pay attention to the news. What’s going on in the local news? In your industry? What’s going on in the pop culture? (You be surprised how lively "Lost" discussions can get!) 3. Be Genuinely Curious and Interested in Other People So once you’ve gathered your "intelligence," it’s easy to do the next step…be curious. The idea is to comment or a ask question, just be careful not to interrogate. The key is to be genuinely interested and inquisitive.Mike Pratt, V.P. of Sales and marketing at Magnolia Hotels, says he loves to ask about people’s shoes because, he says, “If someone likes their shoes, it makes them feel good.” So I asked Mike his favourite shoe story and he told me about a gentleman he met while sitting on a plane.He said, “He was wearing what was obviously a pair of expensive shoes. I mentioned how I liked his style of shoe and off went a two-hour conversation on where he got them, why, and how much they were, how they were made, etc. We then began a dialog about our professions, chatted the rest of the flight, and exchanged cards. Weeks later, I received by mail, a pair of the exact same shoes, in my size, from him…I called him to thank him and asked him why he sent such a nice gesture, as there was really no professional relationship that could have resulted from us meeting, and his response was, ‘I send something to everyone that I meet if I enjoyed meeting them. I enjoyed meeting you and you seem like someone who should have a nice pair of shoes.’”Turns out the shoes were worth $1,200 bucks! Maybe I should have asked Mike about his shoes! Actually that reminds me of my final tip—try to practice every chance you get because it is a skill that can be cultivated. Practice at your favourite coffee shop, practice at sporting events, and of course you’d make my mother proud if you practiced while waiting in long grocery lines! - See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/business-career/public-speaking/how-to-start-a-conversation#sthash.8Dv9TSrb.dpuf
• #61: • Find the right theme for your listener – in the case of the main theme around which you are talking, it is extremely helpful if you have a pithy and punchy headline which sums up your topic. This may sound obvious but even at this initial stage you should be engaging your creative right brain. What will add colour, imagination and excitement to your words? Get creative and find a headline that stimulates your listener curiosity, so that they arrive in an inquisitive frame of mind. • Structure your plan so that you can deliver on that theme persuasively – As to how to structure your words, this is even more critical for anyone who wants to be able to improvise. The reality is that when it comes to thinking on your feet, your plan will help with engagement by imposing order on your communication. And the three essential planks of your planning process are to define the central core of your topic, to separate ideas out distinctly from one another, and to create momentum in your words so that you move your listeners smoothly from point A to B to C.   Adapt to listeners’ reactions as you speak – don’t slavishly prepare a script; rather base your communication around the knowledge you have, ask questions and trust that it is in the interaction that the power and memorability of presentation occurs.  
• #63: The first four barriers are self explanatory, not listening, acting disproportionately to a situation or information, and making a judgment before having all the information. Most persons are aware these are negative actions in the workplace. However, the last two are more subtle. To be more effective in your workplace communication, you must be conscious of how you are presenting yourself. For instance, body language synchronicity means having your actions match your words and tone. In addition, recognizing and accepting that women and men communicate differently; women gesticulate more to demonstrate what they are saying and use more words then men when communicating.  
• #64: You should attempt to speak with co-workers not in your department as often as possible to learn more about the organization. This will in turn, make you more interesting and reflect to your manager or supervisor that you are professionally invested in the organization. Moreover, it will allow you to expand you’re ability to communicate outside your department’s jargon.
• #65: Being courteous gives others the impression that you care and have an investment in the professional relationship. When asking a co-worker for advice or assistance, use the phrase “would you please” rather than just “please” and always show gratitude to promote rapport and convey parity. Asking follow up questions such as “Have I explained this clearly?” instead of “Do you understand” builds trust and reflects consistency in parity and rapport. This also helps to foster clarity, lessening miscommunication.
• #66: —each allowing the other to make a statement, observation, or ask a question without interruption or negative reaction. Have something interesting to say besides work related topics.
• #67: co-workers will actually email one another rather than engaging in direct conversation when situated right next to or adjacent to one another.
• #74: zaini@cnsgroup.com.my 0192152700