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18. THE ORIGIN OF SOME SLANG
PHRASES.
Slang seems to have acquired a certain kind of vulgar popularity not
only among the lower orders, but even in the higher ranks of our
society. Try to banish it as we may from polite society and pretty
mouths, it is a radical breed that defies proscription and seems to
laugh at conventionality. If we regard grammar and style as
representing the aristocracy of language, slang asserts itself as the
necessary and important agent of a predominant proletariat, that
refuses to be ignored. It is a power, though a vulgar power, in
speech.
The word slang itself had a very low origin. It was derived from the
Norman slengge-or, slang, or insulting words; and this when
connected with the Latin word lingua (tongue), signified the bad
language our forefathers supposed the gipsies indulged in. It then
became synonymous for every word used in a thief’s vocabulary; but
as both gipsies and thieves are not without a great deal of mother-
wit, the word slang, originally their property, was borrowed from
them by their respectable neighbours, and applied to all phrases of a
pithy and familiar nature, whether coarse or refined, that expressed
in one or a few brief words a definite unmistakable meaning, which
brought a picture before the mind, and there fixed the impression it
was desired to convey. When it was found that slang phrases could
be so useful, then slang rose in the world, and from being the
monopoly of thieves and gipsies, it passed into other and
respectable hands, who made it subservient to their wants. Its claim
to popularity rests on the fact that it meets an urgent want—that of
enabling people to say a great deal in a few incisive words; and so
long as man is busy and ‘time is fleeting,’ it will doubtless hold its
own as a power in speech.
19. Having thus briefly established the reasons for existence, it will not
be uninteresting to trace a few popular slang phrases to their origin.
Dr Brewer, in his interesting Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, enables
us to do this. Our difficulty is to know where to begin—for a
dictionary is a dictionary, and with two thousand facts to choose
from, we feel rather like the ass among the bundles of hay, at a loss
which to attack first; and the bundles at our command being so
many and tempting, we feel no ordinary sympathy for the animal
thus similarly tried. However, we open the book at random, and
determine to seize the first that comes, which happens to be, You
cannot say Bo! to a goose. How often have we relieved our feelings
of irritation at the weakness of others by hurling this phrase at
them! Had they only known its origin, they could have paid us back
in our own coin, and made us feel very small indeed. But though we
almost hesitate to arm them with a weapon which they may turn
against ourselves, we must be conscientious, and do what we have
undertaken. The story is this: ‘When Ben Jonson the dramatist was
introduced to a nobleman, the peer was so struck with his homely
appearance that he exclaimed: “What! you are Ben Jonson? Why,
you look as if you could not say Bo! to a goose.” “Bo!” exclaimed the
witty dramatist, turning to the peer and making his bow.’
From geese we pass on to cats, which are very emblematic in slang,
and in the phrase Letting the cat out of the bag we are reminded of
its thievish ancestry. ‘It was formerly a trick among country folks to
substitute a cat for a sucking-pig, and bring it in a bag to market. If
any greenhorn chose to buy a pig in a poke—that is, a blind bargain
without examining the contents of the bag—all very well; but if he
opened the sack “he let the cat out of the bag,” and the trick was
discovered,’ And so the phrase passed into common use as applying
to any one who let out a secret. Who will bell the cat? became
another popular phrase, and is taken from the fable of the cunning
old mouse who suggested that they should hang a bell round the
cat’s neck, so that due warning might be had of her approach. The
idea was approved of by all the mice assembled; there was only one
drawback to it: ‘Who was to hang the bell round the cat’s neck?’ Or
20. in shorter words: ‘Who was to bell the cat?’ Not one of them was
found ready to run the risk of sacrificing his own life for the safety of
the others, which is now the recognised meaning of the proverb.
Fighting like Kilkenny cats is another slang simile, taken from a story
that two cats once fought so ferociously in a saw-pit that they left
nothing behind them but their tails—which story is an allegory, and
supposed to represent two towns in Kilkenny that contended so
‘stoutly about boundaries and rights to the end of the seventeenth
century that they mutually impoverished each other.’
How common is the expression, Oh! she is down in the dumps—that
is, out of spirits. This is a very ancient slang phrase, and is supposed
to be derived from ‘Dumpos king of Egypt, who built a pyramid and
died of melancholy;’ so that the thieves and the gipsies are not all to
blame for having given us a few expressive words!
We next come upon a word full of pathetic meaning for many of us:
it is the ghost that haunts us at Christmas-time, and pursues us
more or less throughout the new year—it is the word dun. It is a
word of consequence, for it is at once a verb and a noun, and is
derived from the Saxon word dunan, to din or clamour. It owes its
immortality—so tradition says—to having been the surname of one
Joe Dun, a famous bailiff of Lincoln in the reign of Henry VII., who
was so active and dexterous in collecting bad debts, that when any
one became ‘slow to pay,’ the neighbours used to say: ‘Dun him;’
that is, send Dun after him.
Draw it mild and Come it strong have their origin in music, being the
terms used by the leader of an orchestra when he wishes his violin-
players to play loud or gently. From this they have passed into
synonyms for exaggerators and boasters, who are requested either
to moderate their statements or to astonish their audience.
The word coach in these days is a painfully familiar one, as parents
know who have to employ tutors to assist their sons to swallow the
regulation amount of ‘cram’ necessary for a competitive examination.
The word is of university origin, and can boast of a logical
etymology. It is a pun upon the term ‘getting on fast.’ To get on fast
21. you must take a coach; you cannot get on fast in learning without a
private tutor—ergo, a private tutor is a coach. Another familiar word
in university slang is ‘a regular brick;’ that is, a jolly good fellow; and
how the simile is logically deduced is amusing enough. ‘A brick is
deep red, so a deep-read man is a brick. To read like a brick is to
read until you are deep read. A deep-read man is, in university
phrase, a “good man;” a good man is a “jolly fellow” with non-
reading men; ergo, a jolly fellow is a brick.’
I have a bone to pick with you is a phrase that is uncomplimentary
to the ladies at starting. It means, as is well known, having an
unpleasant matter to settle with you; and this is the origin of the
phrase. ‘At the marriage banquets of the Sicilian poor, the bride’s
father, after the meal, used to hand the bridegroom a bone, saying:
“Pick this bone; for you have taken in hand a much harder task.”’
The gray mare is the better horse comes well after this last
aspersion upon the fair sex, to shew that woman is paramount. The
origin of this proverb was that a man wished to buy a horse, but his
wife took a fancy to a gray mare, and so pertinaciously insisted that
the gray mare was the better horse, that her husband was obliged to
yield the point. But then no doubt he saw that she was right in the
end, and in all probability boasted afterwards of his selection.
To be among the gods at a theatre is a common phrase applied to
those who are seated near the ceiling, which in most theatres is
generally painted blue, to represent the sky, and inhabited by rosy-
faced Cupids sitting on clouds.
The proverb, Those who live in glass houses should not throw
stones, dates back to the Union of England and Scotland, at which
time London was inundated with Scotchmen. This did not please the
Duke of Buckingham, who organised a movement against them, and
parties formed, who went about nightly to break their windows. In
retaliation, a party of Scotchmen smashed the windows of the
Duke’s mansion, which stood in St Martin’s Fields, and had so many
windows that it went by the name of the Glass House. The Duke
22. appealed to the king, who replied: ‘Steenie, Steenie, those wha live
in glass houses should be carefu’ how they fling stanes.’
First catch your hare is the result of a mistake. It was supposed to
be in a cookery-book written by a certain Mrs Glasse, and was
evidently caught hold of by some wag, who read it for, ‘First scatch
or scradge your hare;’ that is, skin and trim it—an East Anglian
word; or else, ‘First scotch your hare before you jug it;’ that is, cut it
into small pieces, as the sentence as it is now quoted is nowhere in
the book. But the wag was a clever one who gave it the
precautionary turn, as the phrase has done good service in warning
many to secure their prize before they arrange how to dispose of it.
When people talk of having nothing but ‘common-sense,’ they very
often mean that they have good sense only; while the real meaning
of the word lies in having the sense common to all five senses, or
the point where the five senses meet, supposed to be the seat of the
soul, where it judges what is presented to the senses, and decides
the mode of action. Another common expression is, I was scared out
of my seven senses. The origin of this goes very far back. According
to ancient teaching, the soul of man or his ‘inward holy body’ was
compounded of the seven properties which were under the influence
of the seven planets. Fire, animated; earth gave the sense of
feeling; water, speech; air, taste; mist gave sight; flowers, hearing;
and the south wind, smelling. Hence the seven senses were—
animation, feeling, speech, taste, sight, hearing, smelling.
It is interesting to notice how by the progress of time words become
convertible; thus baron has for long years been held as a title of
honour, while that of slave applies to the lowest of menials. Now the
real meaning of baron is dolt, and is derived from the Latin word
baro, a thorough fool. It was a term applied to a serving-soldier in
the first instance; gradually it rose in estimation, and military chiefs
were styled barons; finally, lords appropriated the title, which is now
one of high distinction. On the other hand, the word slave is derived
from a Slavonic word slav, meaning illustrious, noble. But when the
Slavs were conquered by the Romans, they were reduced by them
23. to become ‘hewers of wood and drawers of water.’ Idiot is another
word that originally had a much more respectable meaning than the
one it now bears. It was used to distinguish private people from
those who held office, or courted publicity in any form. Thus Jeremy
Taylor says: ‘Humility is a duty in great ones as well as in idiots’ (or
private persons). The term became corrupted at last into a synonym
for incompetency, owing to the inability of idiots or private persons
to take office.
A cub is an ill-mannered lout that needs licking into shape. The
simile was taken from the cub of a bear, that is said to have no
shape until it has been licked into form by its dam. The only
difference lies in the process of licking being so much pleasanter for
the animal than for the human cub, who finds nothing maternal
about the cane that beats him into shape.
Before lead-pencils were common, chalk served the purpose of
marking. Thus I beat him by long chalks refers to the ancient
custom of scoring merit-marks in chalk. Walk your chalks, or get out
of the way, is the corruption of an expression: ‘Walk; you’re chalked.’
When lodgings were wanted in any town for the retinue of any royal
personage, they were arbitrarily seized by the marshal and sergeant
chamberlain; and the inhabitants were turned out and told to go, as
their houses had been selected and were chalked. Hence the
appropriateness of the peremptory dismissal: ‘Walk; you’re chalked.’
A ‘bull’ or blunder is a native of Ireland, and is derived from one
Obadiah Bull, an Irish lawyer of London, in the reign of Henry VII.,
whose blunders were proverbial. ‘The pope’s bulls take their name
from the capsule of the seal appended to the document.
Subsequently, the seal was called the bolla, and then the document
itself was given the name.’
And now we come to a very pet word; what ladies would do without
it, is hard to say, it is such a safety-valve to the feelings in moments
of irritation. We have heard some gentlemen declare it was the
ladies’ way of swearing; but then there is nothing profane in the
word Bother! It is a wholesome blessed word, however it is used, as
24. it allows of women being irritable without being very sinful! One
looks out for its etymology with interest, and finds it is of Hibernian
origin, capable of a soothing inflection, as when bother becomes
botheration, which is a magnified form of bother, and suggests an
ebullition of feeling that might be serious but for the relieving
expletive. ‘Grose,’ we are told, ‘suggests both-ears as the derivation
of the word, and defends his guess by the remark, that when two
persons are talking at the same time, one on one side and one on
the other, the person talked to is perplexed and annoyed.’ We quite
believe him, and feel inclined from experience to adopt his view of
the derivation.
We all know what blarney is—that soft sweet speech in which the
sons and daughters of Erin excel; those sugared words that are so
pleasant to the ear, though false to the heart. Such speech is well
named blarney, and carries us back to the hero that made it a
household word. He was one ‘Cormuck Macarthy, who held the
castle of Blarney in 1602, and concluded an armistice with Carew,
the Lord President, on condition of surrendering the fort to the
English garrison. Day after day his lordship looked for the fulfilment
of the terms, but received nothing except protocols and soft
speeches, till he became the laughing-stock of Elizabeth’s ministers
and the dupe of the lord of Blarney.’ The Blarney Stone is a
triangular stone lowered from the castle about twenty feet from the
top, containing on it the inscription: ‘Cormuck Macarthy fortis me
fieri fecit, a.d. 1446.’ Whoever kisses this stone is supposed to be
endowed with irresistible powers of persuasion.
We began this paper by likening ourselves to the ass among the
bundles of hay, not knowing where to begin; so we have nibbled a
little everywhere, and have had sufficient for to-day’s meal, although
we are greedy enough to regret many tit-bits left untasted from
sheer incapacity to consume any more at one sitting.
25. FISHING FOR PEARLS.
Pearls differ from any other kind of precious gems in requiring no aid
from art to bring out their beauty. While diamonds and sapphires
and rubies require to be cut and polished before they flash forth
their lustrous light, pearls may be said to be ready-made wherever
they are found.
Those who wear and admire them probably give little thought to the
circumstances attending their production and collection; but there
are few industries more interesting than that of ‘fishing’ for pearls,
as practised in the most important pearl-producing districts. Pearls of
an inferior quality to that of the true Oriental are found in a species
of fresh-water mussel inhabiting Britain and other temperate
countries: an important field for their production is being developed
on the coasts of Queensland and Western Australia; and at the Cape
of Good Hope specimens are occasionally found. But the great
centres of the industry are the banks around the south and west
coasts of the island of Ceylon, from which districts all the most
celebrated pearls have been derived. The banks or paars there are
under government supervision, and fishing is only allowed under the
immediate inspection of the officials, who issue stringent regulations
on the subject.
For some years the produce of the paars has been falling off, and a
series of experiments has recently been carried out, and is now in
course of completion, with the object of discovering whether, instead
of allowing them to be fished every year, an interval of one, two, or
three years between each season will not afford a better opportunity
to the bivalves to spat and develop into pearl-bearers.
The last great fishing took place during the month of March in 1877;
and, as the results are said to have exceeded those of any previous
season for many years past, a short account of the manner in which
26. the operations were carried out, together with a review of the
system adopted for protecting the beds from exhaustion, may be
interesting.
In the first place, it will be well to remove a misapprehension which
exists as to the identity of the so-called pearl-‘oyster.’ This mollusc is
not an oyster properly so called, but a species of mussel, and is
easily distinguished from an oyster by the squareness and length of
the shells at the ‘hinge.’ Like the common mussel of our own shores,
it attaches itself to stones and rocks by means of certain fine but
strong cords or byssus, which it spins at will; and not, like the oyster,
by a secretion of shell-matter. These cords are very tough when the
animal is young, but decrease in strength as it increases in age, till
at last they rot away altogether, leaving the creature at the mercy of
tides and storms.
While the pearl-oyster is still young, and before it has finally
attached itself to a suitable rock, it often breaks away from its
anchorage; so that it not unfrequently happens that a pearl-bank
well filled with oysters suddenly disappears altogether. Some
authorities assert that the pearl-oyster has the faculty of casting its
byssus and voluntarily migrating; but whether this is the fact or not,
it is certain that the above circumstances demand the serious
attention of the authorities, and have led to the adoption of a
system of half-yearly inspection of the banks, in order to determine
two important points, namely whether the young brood has forsaken
its birthplace, or the full-grown oysters are, through old age,
breaking away and being destroyed.
The duration of the life of the oyster is another necessary point to
determine; and various suggestions have been made, with the
double object of ascertaining the age of an oyster without the
necessity of continually watching its growth, and of shewing when a
bed is fit to be fished. The weight of the mollusc affords some clue
to the elucidation of this problem, but there is an obstacle to the
adoption of this method in the difficulty of accurately weighing a
number of specimens in an open boat at sea, even if the scales and
27. weights should be at hand. One of the government officials,
however, has suggested a method of ascertaining the age of the
mollusc by the weight of the shells, cleaned and dried with the
animal removed. This can be done at any time; and a series of
experiments conducted by him gives the following results. The shells
of an oyster one year old, with the body of the animal removed,
weigh four drachms; those of an oyster two years old weigh twelve
drachms; three years old, nineteen drachms; and four years old,
twenty-five drachms. This scale of weights will apply of course only
to pearl-oysters from the Ceylon banks; as a difference in the food,
in the composition of the water and soil, and the temperature in
other parts of the world, would no doubt affect the rate of growth
and the deposit of the calcareous matter forming the shell. Empty
shells have been found weighing as much as forty drachms, thus
giving a probable age of about eight years.
The question arises, What are pearls? Are they a morbid concretion
of matter produced in the endeavour to heal a wound or to cover
some irritating body that cannot easily be ejected from the shells?
Are they the result of a disease, or are they simply an over-
production of the matter forming the shell of the creature? Whatever
they are, it is only in the adult oyster that they are found of any size.
The rate of growth in the size of a pearl cannot of course be actually
ascertained; but by a series of averages, taken from the produce of
a large number of oysters from the same bed in different years, it is
proved that after the fourth year, the yield of pearls both in quantity
and quality rapidly increases. It is in the hope of a bed of oysters
which produces say five hundred rupees’ (L.50) worth of pearls per
thousand oysters one year, so improving as to yield double that
value next year, that many a fine bank has been left to perish from
the causes referred to above, as well as from the attacks of enemies
or sickness.
The whelk has lately been discovered to be a serious enemy to the
pearl-oyster, just as it to the edible oyster of commerce; and a
curious disease occasionally manifests itself among the inhabitants
of the banks. The fatty portion of the animal, under which pearls are
28. usually found, and which is usually of a pale cream colour, assumes
a yellow tint, denoting sickness of some sort, the exact nature of
which has not yet been ascertained.
Pearl-fishing is at the best only a gigantic lottery, the prizes in which
bear a very small proportion to the blanks. But in this as in many
other uncertain pursuits, hope always tells a flattering tale, and
keeps awake the energies of thousands of interested operators. First
there are the divers, who perform the actual operations of fishing for
pearls. Arrayed in Nature’s garb, and provided with a knife and a
small bag of netting in which to collect the gathered oysters, and
with a rope tied round their waists, and a heavy stone attached to
their feet, they are let down into the water, taking first a deep
breath, and remaining there till forced to rise again. Expert divers
will remain beneath the water for sixty, ninety, and even a hundred
and eighty seconds. This period they occupy in detaching the
mussels from the rocks, a matter frequently of much difficulty. Those
of very small size they do not attempt to gather, for, as we have
shewn, the larger the shells the more chance of their containing a
pearl. The native divers are able to guess at the age of the oyster by
the resistance it offers; and, as explained above, the older the oyster
the more easily it is detached, and the greater the chance of its
producing a large pearl.
On banks not over thickly populated, there is barely time to gather
half-a-dozen oysters at a dive—a dozen is an extra good haul; in
more favourable circumstances from fifty to one hundred may be
collected by one man. The diver then detaches the stone from his
feet, gives a tug at the rope, and is rapidly hauled up; the stone,
attached to another line, being afterwards pulled up for use again.
His gleanings are then placed on board the boat; and from it he
descends again on another venture. It may be imagined that life
among men who so overstrain their natural functions is very
precarious; for though they are brought up to the practice from their
boyhood, a diver seldom lives to see old age or even maturity.
29. The weather is an important factor in the calculation of the pearl-
fisher. ‘Pearl-fishing weather’ is a proverb in Ceylon, and has much
the same relation to the meteorological conditions of that island as
‘harvesting weather’ bears to our own climate. A light steady breeze
from the north-east is the most favourable for fishing the paars on
the south and west coasts of Ceylon, as the sea is sheltered by the
island, enabling the boats to sail and manœuvre easily. Sometimes
the wind will suddenly shift, and a squall will drive the boats home
with no little danger to the crews; or a heavy thunder-storm, such as
only the tropics can produce, will fall like a bomb-shell upon the
scene of the industry; and the wonder is that the frail habitations
fitted up for the accommodation of the fishers and others are not
literally washed away.
Besides the actual divers, there are the working crews of the boats,
the men employed in ‘washing’ the oysters on shore, the carrying
boats, the provision-merchants, purveyors of arrack and other
liquors, bazaar owners, the petty chetties or traders in pearls, the
large merchants who buy thousands of oysters with a nod of the
head, the police—and they form no small proportion of the whole
population—and other government officials.
The boats are manned with a crew of one or two men, and
frequently a ‘counter’ to take reckoning of all the oysters brought up.
The boats are usually worked over the ground in circles, being
ranged in line some yards apart, and each taking a small circle and
advancing gradually over a certain assigned area. Sometimes they
are placed close together and advance in line across the bed. But
before the boats are permitted to start, the beds, having been
examined by government officials, are buoyed off, and no boat is
allowed to go beyond the limits thus defined. When the number of
boats entered is very large—and sometimes as many as five or six
hundred collect together for the prosecution of the industry—they
are placed in separate divisions of eighty to a hundred each, and lots
are cast for the order in which the divisions shall proceed, each
division taking a day or a tide in rotation.
30. For the accommodation of the large numbers of people brought
temporarily together by the fishery, large villages, the houses of
which are composed of bamboo, wood, furze, mud, and any light
material, suddenly spring up along the seashore, the population
being further increased by the arrival of the buyers and merchants.
From China, Japan, and all parts of the East, connoisseurs in pearls
and pearl-oysters are attracted to the scene of operation, and the
activity and excitement are often intense. A sample of five or six
thousand oysters is examined by the government, and from the
results of this sample the sales proceed. The government take three-
fourths of every boat-load brought in, and special officials are
appointed to dispose of these shares as soon as possible and at the
best possible price. A daily auction takes place, and the lots are
knocked down to the highest bidder. The method of valuing is so
much per thousand oysters, the prices ranging from forty rupees
(L.4) to one hundred and twenty rupees (L.12) per thousand.
The fishermen, who sell their own share on their own account,
generally receive higher prices than those fetched by the
government sales; for the small traders, buying by the dozen,
naturally pay more dearly than if they bought several thousands at a
time; besides, the fishers can afford to wait longer till a good offer
occurs. Sometimes the chetties will buy a dozen at a time and open
them, repeating their purchases dozen after dozen, in the hope of
finding a good gem, which they either sell on the spot or take away
with them into the interior. The occurrence of a good pearl always
sends prices up; and a man may sell an unusually fine specimen for
seven or eight hundred rupees, and see it change hands for twice
and three times the amount.
The collection of so many thousand natives, with very rudimentary
ideas of the laws of health and cleanliness, and with facilities for
drinking arrack and other ardent liquors which are as regularly to be
met with on the shores of Ceylon as they are in the crowded fairs
and race-courses of our own country, is often the cause of an
outbreak of cholera, smallpox, or other zymotic disease. The
31. greatest precautions are, however, taken to prevent such a
catastrophe, and all cases of illness are at once isolated.
The operation of opening the pearl-oysters is also conducive to
disease. To open each oyster when fresh would be a work of infinite
labour; they are therefore packed together in large vessels called
ballams, where, under the tropical heat, the animals soon die and
putrefy, and the shells, gaping open, are easily washed and
examined.
The greatest watchfulness has to be exercised over the natives
employed in this work, where the owners do not perform the
operation themselves. A pearl is very easily secreted either in the
folds of the scanty dress, or in the mouth or ears, or even
swallowed; and the Singhalese and indeed all the natives of the East
are adepts in the art of thieving. To cheat the government out of
their shares of the spoil, it is no unusual thing for the boatmen to
throw large packages of oysters overboard, buoying them, so that
they may be recovered under cover of darkness or on the last day of
fishing, which is usually devoted to a general sanjayan or scramble.
All boats, whether belonging to the authorised divisions or not, are
then allowed to go out and keep what they can get.
These divers render essential service in discovering and reporting
the existence of unrecorded rocks and shoals; and many a
permanent record of their operations is left in the shape of a
warning buoy, stationed to warn the navigator of a treacherous reef.
When, from the diminished daily results of the fishing, a sign is given
that the bed is being exhausted, the order is given to stop fishing.
The sanjayan over, the bed is deserted, save by the government
launch appointed to remove the buoys which marked off the limits of
the ground; the boats gradually make off as wind and weather
permit, for their respective ports; the merchants pack up their
purchases and take their departure for the great towns and cities;
the government officials, having completed the records of the
fishery, are gradually recalled; the temporary huts are burnt to the
ground; and the place assumes its normal state of peaceful repose,
32. disturbed only, or rather intensified, by the presence of some
wandering native bird, or by the occasional visit of a roaming
elephant or jackal.
33. A PERILOUS POSITION.
IN TWO CHAPTERS.—CHAPTER II.
Having committed that murderous and suicidal act, Marmaduke
Hesketh crept back to the coping and seated himself directly
opposite me, with the opening of the chimney between. For a long
while we gazed upon each other in silence, then with an exultant
laugh he burst forth: ‘You look agitated, my good sir, and yet I
scarcely think you have taken in the full significance of the
performance you have witnessed. Your intellect, unless I do you
injustice, is somewhat obtuse. I will therefore make clear our
position to you. You and I are alone upon this chimney-top, and for
any particular choice in the matter, we might just as well be in our
tombs. Neither of us will ever again tread the earth beneath; for all
connection with it being, as you perceive, cut off, it can only be
reached by a leap, upon which, I fancy, we shall not be inclined
voluntarily to venture. Attempts, I have no doubt, will be made to
rescue us; but they will of necessity only be of such a character as
can be easily frustrated—and I shall frustrate them. My own life, I
assure you, is perfectly valueless to me. I have brought you here to
die, and to die of a slow lingering death, aggravated by mental
torture. It is a felicity I have long anticipated, and I am not likely to
allow myself to be balked of it.’
‘O man, man!’ I cried in mortal agony, ‘are you indeed a human
being, or a fiend in human shape?’
‘A highly melodramatic question, upon my word,’ he sneered.
‘Nevertheless, with my wonted good breeding, I will endeavour to
answer it. I am, I believe, gentle youth, a man; and yet, to own the
truth, I have been impelled to my present course of action by certain
sentiments popularly attributed to the Enemy of mankind—to wit,
34. hate, jealousy, and despair. Yes, Mr Frederick Carleton, I hate you,
and I have hated you from the very first hour of our acquaintance!
Your death had been determined upon by me long before this plan
for securing it, with an additional piquant flavour of enjoyment to
myself, had suggested itself. You have not, as I have before hinted,
a very active or capacious mind; but possibly your imagination may
have been sufficiently stimulated by alarm to have already
suggested to you that it was I who sent, or caused to be sent, that
telegram which so opportunely prevented our friend Mr Middleton
from accompanying us to this elevated and delightful spot. So far as
I am aware, you will be relieved to hear that Captain Middleton is in
perfect health.’
‘Oh, can this horrible iniquity be permitted?’ I groaned, raising my
hands in frenzied supplication. ‘Can this monster be actually
permitted to carry out his fiendish purpose?’
‘Curious, isn’t it, the selfishness of the human heart?’ meditated my
tormentor, affecting to regard me with a studious air. ‘This individual,
I dare to aver, thinks that this act of mine is the very worst act ever
committed. The individual in question has read, of course, of the
painful deaths of thousands of his fellow-mortals by famine,
pestilence, and war; of the sufferings of his own countrymen in the
Black Hole of Calcutta; and of other terrible atrocities. But of all
atrocities, the most atrocious and unequalled is the one that aims at
depriving the world of his presence, of extinguishing the puny spark
of his life, even though he has the consolation of knowing that his
enemy will perish in his company! A very curious exhibition of
selfishness indeed! Fie, fie, young man; I am ashamed of you!’ With
these words and with a sneer upon his lips, Mr Hesketh turned his
face from me and fell into silence.
By this time the men who had worked the windlass, and several
others engaged about the adjacent building, had gathered below,
and were excitedly gesticulating and shouting. Of what they said I
could not distinguish a syllable; but from their gestures, I gathered
that they were inciting me to courage, and that they knew Mr
35. Hesketh to be the cause of our calamitous situation—no doubt
deeming him mad. And with the conviction that they so far
comprehended the state of affairs, and would use endeavours to
rescue me, hope sprang up in my breast. It was impossible, I
thought, that I should be going to perish, to be cut off in this awful
manner in the midst of youth and bliss. I, who loved and was
beloved; who, that very afternoon, had been so full of ecstatic
happiness, and had thought myself the happiest of God’s creatures.
No; it wasn’t in the nature of things. It couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t
be! Repeating to myself this assurance, I watched with eager
attention the further proceedings of the workmen below, and noted
presently that several of them were running off in the direction of
the town, whilst others were making across some fields by a
footpath which led to Holm Court.
I was trying to think what means could be adopted for our salvation,
when my cruel foe again addressed me. ‘I hope, my friend,’ he said,
‘that you are not allowing yourself to be buoyed up by false hopes.
The fools below (who no doubt consider me demented) think,
perhaps, that they may succeed in helping you down again to terra
firma—but you and I know better. By-the-bye, I wonder that you
have not yet had the curiosity to inquire in what way you have
earned my by no means impotent ill-will. Another proof, I fear, of
defective phrenological development—Wonder and Acquisitiveness
very small. However, you shall hear, if you will kindly favour me with
your attention. I will give you in a few words the history of my life.
At a very early age—don’t let the fact distress you—I was left an
orphan, and was brought up by a maiden aunt, who, I fancy, was
not very fond of boys. At anyrate she did not exhibit her fondness
for me in such a manner as to inspire me with any return of
affection, and at twenty-eight I had never known what it was to care
for, or to be cared for by, any of my fellow-creatures. At that age I
paid a first visit to my distant relative Mr Middleton, and saw his
daughter, then about fifteen years old. With her I fell in love, as it is
called; that is, I gave her the strong concentrated devotion of a wild
passionate nature. I determined to marry her; but I was poor and
36. her father was mercenary. I would not ruin my cause by speaking
then, and in another week I was upon my way to America, bent,
with iron purpose, upon making a fortune. Of my life in America I
will not trouble you with an account, lest, mayhap, I might shock
your virtue and sensibility. Suffice it to say, that during the seven
years I remained in that country, I was by turns a gold-digger, a
back-woodsman, and a merchant. During those seven years I heard
regularly from Miss Middleton’s maid, who received from me an
annual honorarium for keeping me informed of all that concerned
her mistress. At different times I had sent me by that young woman
a lock of Clara’s hair and a likeness, and by her I was constantly
assured—false jade!—that Clara had as yet had no affaire de cœur.
So, full of hope, I toiled on towards the accumulation of wealth,
praying night and morning one simple prayer, namely, that my
darling might be kept for me. And at length, with a fortune of one
hundred thousand pounds, I returned to lay it and myself at the feet
of her I loved—loved with a love which you, weak beardless boy,
cannot even comprehend—a love which, compared with yours, is as
the restless tossing ocean to a placid mill-pond, the fierce flames of
a burning forest to the feeble flicker of a lucifer-match! And what did
I find when, full of joyous anticipation, I arrived at her father’s
house? Why, I found her for whose sake I had gone through
incredible labours, for whose love I had yearned night and day for
seven long years, engaged, and upon the very point of marriage
with an empty-headed, aristocratic stripling, six months her junior!
And worst of all, I found that she absolutely loved the noodle! And
now, Mr Frederick Carleton, do you wonder that I determined to
frustrate your marriage? Do you wonder that I hate you with a
mortal hatred? Do you wonder that I regard my own life as of no
more worth than a withered autumn leaf?’
‘O Hesketh, I am very, very sorry for you!’ I said, as he ceased to
speak; for his story and the agony of his face as he related it, had
touched me. ‘But you are mistaken in asserting your love to be
superior to mine. It is inferior—infinitely inferior. For I tell you, man,
that if Clara had loved you, I would not have stirred a finger to
37. injure you; and that rather than rend her heart, as it will be rent by
the knowledge of what has happened, I would willingly suffer the
cruel death you have designed for me, but which I feel confident will
somehow be prevented.’
‘You do, do you? Well, wait and see. I imagine your confidence will
soon die out. And in the meantime, keep your snivelling pity to
yourself. Don’t speak another word to me unless you are spoken to!’
‘I will not,’ I replied; my compassion vanishing, and giving place to
the horror with which I had previously regarded him. And averting
my face from this dreadful companion, I awaited in my perilous
position the issue of events. It declared itself thus. In what must in
reality have been an incredibly short period, although to me it
appeared of immense duration, a large crowd had collected around
the chimney, and I presently saw a kite ascending from its midst.
Slowly it rose into the air, higher and higher, borne by a gentle
breeze in the direction of the chimney. The object of its flight I had
readily guessed; but Mr Hesketh, to my extreme astonishment, did
not appear to have noticed it. He had taken a cigar from his case,
lighted it with a fusee, and was now calmly smoking with his eyes in
a contrary direction. At length the kite was upon a level with us, and
by a dexterous movement on the part of the man who held it, it
fluttered to my feet. I stretched out my hand and seized it. A thrill of
pleasure passed through my frame as I felt the string tugging from
beneath, and knew that, though only by a line of twine, a
communication was established between me and those who were
planning my rescue.
But my gratification was not of long continuance. Glancing furtively
the while at Mr Hesketh, I commenced rapidly to draw in the string,
to which, as I guessed, a rope would be attached, wondering if it
were really possible that he had not observed what was taking
place. For a moment or two he smoked on in affected ignorance or
unconcern, then knocking the ashes from his cigar, and replacing it
in his mouth, he approached me, deliberately opened a penknife,
and with a satirically polite, ‘Allow me,’ held out his hand for the
38. string. At imminent danger of a fatal slip from my seat, I struggled
to prevent the accomplishment of his purpose, but in vain; and
having severed the twine with a sardonic laugh he retreated to his
former position. A cry of execration rose from below, so loud and
wrathful and prolonged, that I thought, as directed against himself,
it must surely make my foe tremble. But no; his composure, real or
pretended, remained, I saw, unruffled.
And now, with what intensity of solicitude I waited for the next
movement below! With what maddening impatience I watched the
crowd continually augmenting, noted groups consulting together,
saw people running hither and thither, gesticulating, looking
upwards, shouting constantly but doing nothing! And with what
unutterable misery I presently perceived on the outskirts of the
crowd, a form, which by the instinct of love I could have picked out
from a larger assembly and at a greater distance. Her arms
stretched upwards, as though to lessen the dreadful gulf which
divided us, Clara stood upon a little mound of débris; and by the
agony of her attitude I could judge, though I could not distinguish
her features, of the agony of her face. Mr Hesketh saw her too; for I
heard him groan deeply, as though in pain, and glancing towards
him, I perceived his eyes fixed in the direction where she stood. But
from the expression of his countenance, I knew well that the sight of
her anguish had not shaken by one iota his pitiless resolve. Twilight
fell, after a period of indefinite duration, shrouding Clara from my
view; but not before I had seen her joined by a man, who had taken
her in his arms and strained her to his bosom, and whom I
conjectured to be Mr Middleton, returned from the fool’s errand upon
which he had been sent.
Upon the night of horror which succeeded I shall not dwell. All
through its interminable hours, my horrid companion and I sat
sleepless and silent, watching the red bonfires which blazed below,
illuminating the base of the huge chimney and the figures of a
considerable number of people who remained around it. By dawn
the crowd had reassembled more numerously than upon the
previous day, and again and again attempts were made to convey to
39. me a rope by means of a kite, but only to be each time defeated by
my powerful antagonist. Then one by one, other means of reaching
us were tried; but all proved to be either infeasible in themselves or
impracticable for lack of co-operation from above. By degrees every
hope of rescue was extinguished in my breast, and I could only
resolve to meet my fate like a man, and to pray that Clara might not
suffer too keenly upon the consummation of the event. That she
suffered keenly now, I could not avoid seeing, as with my despairing
gaze riveted upon her, I faced the spot where with her father and
mother she remained for most part of the day.
At length—it was getting towards the close of the afternoon, and
unable longer to bear the sight of my beloved one’s torment—I
turned away, and as my eyes fell upon the crowd, I noticed within it
a movement of renewed excitement. I remarked, moreover, that Mr
Hesketh had also observed it, for I saw him remove his cigar (he had
been smoking almost unintermittingly since daybreak), and I heard
him murmur: ‘What are they up to now?’ They were the first words
he had spoken that day, and as they left his lips he started violently,
for a bullet had whizzed past his ear, actually grazing it. The rifle had
been discharged from behind him, and from the top of a wall
belonging to the mill in process of building, and which stood quite
separately and at some distance from the chimney.
‘Oh, that’s the game, is it?’ exclaimed my reckless and now sullen
enemy, speedily recovering his nonchalance of bearing. ‘Well, that
can easily be put a stop to. My dear fellow, I must seek protection
beneath your wing. They won’t shoot at me now.’ And resuming his
smoking, he offered me a cigar. ‘Better take one,’ he said sulkily, as I
refused the weed with disgust. ‘Smoking is a good preventive of
hunger; and I daresay you are beginning to feel hungry.’
I was not hungry in the least; but I had for some hours been
consumed with a terrible thirst; and as it presently occurred to me to
produce an increase of saliva, by chewing a corner of my
handkerchief, I felt for it in my pocket. But instead of my
handkerchief, my hand lighted upon another object, cool and round,
40. and in an instant my heart ‘leaped into my throat.’ I managed,
however, to remain motionless, though the blood tingled through my
veins with excitement, and I was obliged to keep my face turned
from him, least the inspiration of hope upon it should be visible to
my intended murderer. But he had fallen again into the sullen,
brooding taciturnity which he had preserved all day, and did not
even glance in my direction.
Thus we sat together till the slow hours had dragged themselves
away, and the second night had fallen upon us in that awful
situation. Then Mr Hesketh spoke again. ‘Carleton,’ he said, in a tone
equally determined with any he had yet used, but not so expressive
of hate and satire—‘Carleton, I am tired of this, and I think you have
now suffered enough. Your hair, I have observed, has turned quite
gray. I shall therefore put an end to your torture and my own sooner
than I had intended. To-morrow morning, as soon as the gaping
crowd below has re-assembled in sufficient numbers to give zest to
the exhibition of our agility, we will take a leap together into their
arms. Meantime, I purpose to spend this last night of my existence
in sleep, and with this object shall now retire to the opposite side of
our airy castle. Do not, however, delude yourself with the hope,
which I fancy I detect in your quickened breathing. I am a light
sleeper, having long been accustomed to sleep with one eye open,
for fear of wild Indians, or worse; and at a touch, or even a
movement on your part I should awake.’
If ever I prayed in my life, I surely prayed upon that awful night
when I saw Marmaduke Hesketh stretched out around the parapet
of the chimney, with his head resting upon one arm, doubled under
it for a pillow. And surely I may believe that it was in answer to that
prayer, and to the prayers for my safety of one dearer to me than
myself, that the sound sleep was sent which I presently perceived to
have fallen upon him. Down below flickered the red bonfires, and
faint from the distance came the sound of voices; but above that
sound I heard the sweet music of heavy breathing. And now, with
the utmost caution, I commenced to creep round towards my
enemy’s head—pausing at each step to listen if he still slept. Upon
41. the success of the plan I was about to try depended my life, and in
each moment of uncertainty which intervened until I was assured of
that success, I lived an eternity. At last I was quite close, and he had
not awaked! I drew from my pocket the bottle of chloroform which I
had bought for Mrs Middleton—could it have been only two days
ago!—and saturating my handkerchief with it, held it before his
mouth. The breathing grew quieter. I pressed the handkerchief
closer, and it became inaudible. I touched him, and he did not move.
I grew bolder, and shook him, yet he did not awake. And now I was
assailed with a strong temptation to hurl him over the chimney’s
side. I could have done it, I felt, easily; and I know the act would
have been justified in the eyes of most people. But I resisted the
temptation—for which I shall be thankful all my life—and carried out
instead my original plan of disarming him as far as possible for the
present, and waiting, until absolutely compelled to it in self-
preservation, before I would attempt to cause his death. My method
of disarming him was to bind together as firmly and tightly as I
could his arms and legs, using for this purpose the two large balls of
twine which Master Charlie had so urgently impressed upon me not
to forget to purchase for him. Ah, how little I had thought when
selecting them to what a use they would be employed!
Having effected my purpose, and finding my foe still motionless and
unconscious, I returned to my former position, and bending
downwards, shouted with all my might to attract the attention of
those below. But the effort was fruitless. I could not make myself
heard, neither could I, in the darkness, be descried from below. It
was only when the faint streaks of coming day began to appear in
the horizon that my figure could be made out standing alone and
defined against the gray sky; and then I could see that a rapid
search was made inside and around the chimney for the body of the
man who was supposed to have fallen thence; for in his recumbent
position and hidden by the low parapet, my companion could not be
discerned from beneath. At length I had the happiness of perceiving
that the gesticulating figure above, wildly imploring aid, was
recognised as mine; and then once more I saw ascending towards
42. me on that early summer morning a white-winged messenger of
salvation. And still my dreaded enemy slept. He slept on, when I had
seized the kite, and whilst I drew in with eager rapidity the string.
He slept on, whilst with growing excitement I hauled up a slender
rope, and then a stouter one attached thereto, dropping them both
into the interior of the chimney. He slept on whilst I pulled up, hand
over hand, a strong iron chain, at the end of which, when it reached
me, I found affixed a horizontal iron bar. And he still slept on whilst I
passed this iron bar beneath my legs as a seat, and feeling the chain
held firmly from below, grasped it with both hands and let myself
over the side. Then, whether or not he slept I thought no more, as
with closed eyes and heart full of thanksgiving, I felt myself
gradually lowered against the chimney’s smooth side, down, down,
down, until in the end I touched the firm earth, saw a sea of faces
gathering around me, heard a hubbub of congratulation, and sank
into unconsciousness.
When I recovered from an illness which supervened, and which
lasted several weeks, I found myself in the chamber I usually
occupied when visiting at Holm Court, with Clara by my side, pale
and worn with anxiety and watching. My nerves had been so
unstrung by the mental shock I had endured, that for a long time no
allusion was permitted in my presence to the events I have
recorded. But eventually, on my insisting on being informed of Mr
Hesketh’s fate, I was told, that after waiting several hours for any
movement on the part of the supposed madman, a brave bricklayer
had volunteered to ascend the chimney by the same means as I had
used in its descent, and had found him stone-dead, with his limbs
bound, and in the position I had left him. By the administration of
the chloroform I had unintentionally slain him.
Two words in conclusion. The unfortunate man was brought to the
ground in the car in which, two days before, he had ascended with
me intent upon his murderous purpose—a couple of mechanics
having ascended by means of the chain and bar and readjusted the
machinery. He was buried. And six months afterwards I was married
—not as the gay, sprightly youth I had been before that awful
43. adventure, but as a gray-headed, prematurely aged man. But Clara
loves me in spite of my white hairs, and Time with his healing hand
is gradually effacing the mental scar, and restoring to me my
youthful health and spirits.
44. COFFEYVILLE.
In the Western States of America, wherever the iron trail extends its
path beyond the borders of civilisation, in quest of new fields for
colonisation and commerce, it is accompanied in its track during
construction by a shifting population of camp-followers—mostly the
scum of society—who in their temporary resting-places often
unwittingly sow the seeds of future thriving towns and cities. This
result, however, is the exception rather than the rule, and only
happens in cases where the natural advantages of the site selected
are such as to induce far-seeing men of the right sort to remain and
turn them to account. In most instances the existence of these
wooden hamlets, or ‘cities’ as they are invariably called in the West,
is but that of a butterfly, here to-day and gone to-morrow, lasting
just as long as they serve to form depots for the labourers and
employés while at work on that particular section of the road, and
then passing on with them to the next resting-place. These railway
creations are commonly called ‘mushroom cities.’
The little town of Coffeyville in the southern part of Kansas, at the
birth of which I chanced to be present, when it sprang up as if by
magic from the surrounding prairie, may be taken as a fair example
of the modus operandi of ‘locating’ a new ‘city’ on the western
frontier. This place is somewhat unlike the general run of mushroom
cities, because, without any peculiar advantages of situation, it has
survived, almost in spite of itself, up to the present day, in
consequence of its being for a long time the terminus of the
Leavenworth, Lawrence, and Galveston Railroad, before legislation
permitted that line to pass through the Indian territory. Though
unlike in this respect, its birth and early life were similar in every
particular. In all, the same extravagant excitement and speculation in
corner lots temporarily prevail; the same scenes of lawlessness and
bloodshed are enacted, and the usual number of lives sacrificed by
45. knife or bullet in drunken brawls and gambling disputes. Usually the
career of these temporary cities is nipped in the bud as soon as the
railway has advanced far enough to require a fresh depot. Then if
the present site does not possess sufficient qualifications for the
town’s growth to induce any one to remain, the wooden buildings
are taken down, packed on the construction train, and transported
to the next resting-place, for a repetition of the old scenes of
feverish excitement and dissipation. After their removal, nothing
remains to mark the late scene of busy life and revelry except two or
three worthless old shanties, broken bottles and rubbish of every
description, and torn and discoloured playing-cards and scraps of
paper, which are whisked up and whirled far and wide in the eddies
of the prairie breezes. But I was nearly forgetting to mention the
most important souvenirs invariably left behind by these advancing
heralds of civilisation. These are the mounds which mark the final
resting-places of those who ‘died with their boots on’ (as expressed
on the frontier); who met men quicker than themselves at their own
weapons—the revolver and the bowie-knife—and who were
carelessly thrown into their lonely graves, there to remain as silent
witnesses of lawless savagery.
Sometimes the embryo city, either from the natural advantages of its
position, or from other causes (as in the case of Coffeyville), outlasts
the ordinary life of the mushroom genus, and develops into a quiet-
going market-town, which in time assumes such proportions and
attracts such population as its trade with the surrounding settlers will
support. Wood and water, as well as the course of the railroad, are
the prime considerations which determine the site of a new
township. As soon as that is settled upon, the silence and solitude of
the lonely prairie are rudely invaded by a motley throng of saloon-
keepers, speculators, gamblers, traders, and others, who make it
their first business to establish their claim to a town-lot. This they do
by planting a stake in whatever plot of ground they may select, and
inscribing their name and date of entry upon it; this notice of
occupation being respected quite as much as if the owner were
standing guard over his property with a drawn revolver. In a short
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