Lalo huber - Introduction to Soft Skills
6 likes2,178 views
This document provides an introduction to soft skills. It defines soft skills as social skills that allow people to successfully interact with other people, as opposed to hard skills which allow interaction with objects and machines. Soft skills build social intelligence and include skills like empathy, active listening, communication, negotiation, and emotional intelligence. Soft skills are important because nearly all work-related critical events involve interpersonal relationships. The document discusses mistakes people commonly make in social interactions and provides examples. It emphasizes that soft skills like empathy and active listening are key to influencing others and having impact. Developing soft skills can improve interpersonal relationships and increase personal effectiveness.
Lalo huber - Introduction to Soft Skills
- 1. Introduction to Soft SkillsA key for better results in work & life Part 1 Prof. Lalo Huber
- 2. 2 ✓ Expert on Strategic Business Planning, Leadership, Transformation Roadmap Design, Organizational Change Management, SAP CCoE Strategy & Design, Governance Model & Value Management, HR Strategic Management and Strategic Communication, among other subjects. ✓ Professor of Organizational Strategy, HR Management, Organizational Communication, Negotiation & Organizational Change Management, at UBA, UNR and UCA (Argentina) ✓ Author of several books (“The world does not know what we are”, “The mind of the leader”, “Awaken the power of your mind”, “Leadership and HR Management”, “Outsourcing by experts”, among others.) ✓ Personal, Executive & Professional Coach ✓ Music Producer and Piano / keyboards player Lalo Huber | Profile
- 3. Introduction
- 4. What exactly are Soft Skills?
- 5. 5 Soft versus Hard Skills Hard Skills Technical Skills Allow us to successfully interact with objects, tools, information or machines Soft Skills Social Skills Allow us to successfully interact with people
- 6. 6 ✓ Social Skills build up “Social Intelligence” ✓ Original definition by Edward Thorndike (1920) ✓ Social Intelligence is “the capability to effectively navigate and negotiate complex social relationships and environments” ✓ Equivalent to the so-called “Interpersonal Intelligence”, one of the various types of intelligence identified in Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences ✓ Also related to the concept of “Emotional Intelligence”, made popular by Daniel Goleman in his 1995 book by that title (although the concept and term first appeared in a 1964 paper by Michael Beldoch) ✓ More advanced: Social Engineering Social Intelligence | Concept origins
- 7. 7 ✓ Tacto ✓ Ubicación ✓ “Cintura política” ✓ “Don de gentes” Social Intelligence | Informal synonyms in Spanish
- 8. 8 ✓ Business etiquette ✓ Office politics ✓ Professional behavior ✓ Workplace ethics ✓ Office diplomacy Other concepts that refer to Social Skills at the workplace
- 9. 9 ✓ Greeting others ✓ Presenting oneself and others ✓ Making friendly conversation / Joking ✓ Inviting / offering ✓ Showing interest ✓ Accepting directions ✓ Asking for help ✓ Waiting patiently for an adequate moment ✓ Explaining Social Skills in ACTION!
- 10. 10 ✓ Encouraging others ✓ Providing silent support ✓ Giving recognition / praising / complimenting ✓ Listening / Asking questions ✓ Answering questions ✓ Accepting and managing objections ✓ Disagreeing politely ✓ Apologizing ✓ Expressing gratitude Social Skills in ACTION!
- 11. The mother of all Social Skills
- 12. 12 The quality of our Interpersonal relationships depend on… What others think and feel about us
- 13. 13 Customers, colleagues, partners, bosses, CEOs, CIOs, and other people in general, cannot perceive what we really ARE, but only what we… MANAGE TO COMMUNICATE
- 14. 14 The mother of all Social Skills For successfully interacting with people we need… Interpersonal Communication Skill With Colleagues Teamwork, Negotiation, Conversation, Conflict management With Customers Customer relationship management Listening, Expectations management Negotiation, Sales With Powerful people Politics, Stakeholder management, Presentation skills, Rhetoric Negotiation With Employees Team leadership, Delegation, Motivation Coaching, Conflict management With couple & children Parenting, Active listening, Motivation, Seduction Fundamental Social Skill Derived Social Skills
- 15. 15 Empathy + Self emotional control The mother of all Social Skills
- 16. Why are Social Skills SO important?
- 17. 17 Because, 99.9% work-related critical events have to do with… interpersonal relationships Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 18. 18 And… Who do you think most value Social Skills in service providers? C-Levels Top Managers Key Stakeholders Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 19. 19 Some work-related critical events: ➢ Customer-facing meetings / presentations ➢ Conversations with C-levels ➢ Kick-off meetings ➢ Boss-facing meetings / presentations ➢ Recruiting interviews / Negotiating work conditions ➢ Negotiating career / salary with Manager Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 20. 20 In business, career and life … Time is GOLD But … Interpersonal relationships are DIAMONDS Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 21. 21 Social / Communication Skills practically define our Total Personal Effectiveness Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 22. 22 - Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT? Technical Skills Social Skills Technical Skills Social Skills Technical Skills Total personal effectiveness +0 Social Skills Technical Skills
- 23. 23 Personal type in regards to Social Skills Social Skills level Typical profile Personal effect Extremely low Anti-social person Destructive Very low Difficult person Conflictive Low Ineffective person Tiring / Frustrating Medium Normal person Normal High Effective person Easy going Very high Leader / Manager Influencing Extremely high Transformational Leader Change agent / innovator!
- 24. 24 ¿Which is the average percentage of IT Projects that fail due to social / human (non-technical) reasons? Question… ✓ 25% ? ✓ 35% ? ✓ 45% ? ✓ 50% ? ✓ 65% ? ✓ 75% ?
- 25. 25 Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT? 75% of technology projects’ failure is because of non-technical reasons e.g. non user acceptance of the solution, skill problems, customer communication problems, poor expectations management, problems with project team, lack of motivation, team conflicts, change resistance, among others. 25% of technology projects’ failure is because of technical reasons e.g demands can not be mapped, sizing problems, problems with connecting legacy systems.
- 26. Goal setting
- 27. 27 ➢ Contribute to improve our Soft Skills ➢ So as to improve our interpersonal relationships ➢ And increase our Personal Effectiveness ➢ To ultimately improve our RESULTS! ➢ In work and life Goal setting
- 28. 28 Our obsession: Find new ways to create more value for our customers
- 29. Let’s exercise
- 30. 30 For example: mistaking the name of a person, not talking because of shyness, etc.… Exercise: Give examples of general social mistakes (& represent)
- 31. 31 ➢ Putting the “finger on the sore” ➢ Strong value-charged affirmations ➢ INCONSISTENCY ➢ Poor eye contact ➢ Not fulfilling promises ➢ Not replying messages ➢ Not sharing information ➢ Criticism / Pessimism / Childish complaining Basic Social mistakes
- 32. 32 ➢ Not being punctual ➢ Not warning about impacts ➢ Lack of service attitude ➢ Showing discrimination tendencies ➢ Low non-verbal energy ➢ Invading personal space ➢ Unnecessary nervous rush ➢ The automatic - nervous “NO” Basic Social mistakes
- 33. 33 ➢ Whining, complaining and/or making endless excuses ➢ Being too self-absorbed in yourself and in your own life and affairs ➢ Talking too much about yourself or only about the things that interest you. ➢ Coming across as being too arrogant or too blunt ➢ Being overly critical and/or judgmental of other people ➢ Constantly talking about your problems and how bad your life is ➢ Being intellectually competitive or overly argumentative ➢ Talking too quickly, too slowly, too softly, too loudly, or unclearly More and more possible mistakes…
- 34. 34 ➢ Talking too much about the same topic ➢ Inappropriately interrupting the other person throughout the conversation ➢ Jumping to conclusions about what the other person has to say ➢ Sidestepping the questions that people ask you ➢ Giving the other person unsolicited advice ➢ Asking too many questions that make it seem as though you’re prying into their private life ➢ Bluntly telling people that they are wrong More and more possible mistakes…
- 35. Let’s exercise
- 36. 36 For example: forgetting a key promise, violating a stakeholder interest, etc.… Exercise: Give examples of SPECIFIC CF mistakes
- 37. 37 ➢ Immediately stating that something is impossible to do ➢ Underestimate the customer / Stating that the customer does not understand ➢ Forgetting promises ➢ Maintain relaxed posture when customer is worried or complaining ➢ Not listening / Talking too much ➢ Taking a defensive posture / Justifying own mistakes Some classical CF “screw-ups”
- 38. 38 ➢ Lecturing the customer / Using phrases like “I’ll explain you people” ➢ Not apologizing after a mistake ➢ Not giving concrete facts to explain things (vague talking) ➢ Showing ignorance of key facts ➢ Showing distrust to the customer ➢ Blaming the customer / Blaming others in general ➢ Not taking responsibility (“passing the ball”) Some classical CF “screw-ups”
- 39. 39 In Customer Facing events ✓ Say NO negatively and without clear justification ✓ Say YES with enthusiasm and then not fulfil ✓ Excessively reduce frequency of customer contact / Disappearing ✓ Not listening carefully / not showing empathy for the customer problems ✓ Believing that a kind customer will not kick us out ✓ Mot being able to inspire confidence in the customer, so he can open with us ✓ Not warning the customer in advance about some change that may impact him/her ✓ Failing to answer quickly all communications from the customer ✓ Assume that an email is enough to clear things ✓ Not verifying important communications success Customer relationship mistakes
- 40. 40 In Customer Facing events ✓ Meet with customer reactively and only when strictly necessary ✓ Fail to achieve some level of personal relation with the customer ✓ Not dedicating time to show and sell achievements to the customer ✓ Send critical emails without previous consent ✓ Knowing that a customer is not fully satisfied, and not doing anything ✓ Not knowing the customer mindset and beliefs ✓ Fail to read the customer signals “between lines” ✓ Allow ourselves to develop some kind of hate for a customer ✓ Allow criticism towards the customer Customer relationship mistakes
- 41. 41 Demand management ✓ Accept out-of-scope or ambiguous requirement, without adequate negotiation ✓ Change elements in the service without customer previous consent ✓ Not recognizing mistakes. Self-justifying instead of apologizing and correcting ✓ Fail to have a clear expectations agreement ✓ Not being able to show technical leadership in front of the customer ✓ Fail to accept our role as service providers ✓ Fail to understand that customer perception has more power than reality when it comes to service evaluation Customer relationship mistakes
- 42. 42 Internal coordination ✓ Insufficient internal communication / alignment ✓ Incoherent communication towards the customer ✓ Not asking for help, or doing it too late ✓ Failing to maintain ourselves informed about own standards and guidelines / Service portfolio / new products ✓ Lack of preparation before visiting a customer ✓ Not sharing relevant information with the team Customer relationship mistakes
- 43. 43 ➢ Failing to identify the power balance in the conversation / meeting ➢ Forgetting our professional role / mission ➢ Getting distracted / loosing concentration on own goals ➢ Lack of internal coordination ➢ Loosing our temper ➢ Frustration accumulation ➢ Getting too proud ➢ Becoming too much confident on oneself ➢ Becoming greedy ➢ Hurrying up too much ➢ Becoming too much confident on the other / Opening up too much Some basic reasons for all CF DISASTERS
- 45. Let’s exercise
- 46. 46 For example: Exercise: Give examples of CF “suicidal phrases” “You don’t know anything”, “This is your fault”
- 47. 47 Famous inadequate phrases That is impossible We are the experts You don’t have control over the Project All was done thanks to US Let me correct you on that I have another call, please hang on I don’t know Nope I couldn’t have said that
- 48. Introduction to Soft SkillsA key for better results in work & life Part 2 Prof. Lalo Huber
- 49. Opening, Recap & Intro
- 50. 50 Soft versus Hard Skills Hard Skills Technical Skills Allow us to successfully interact with objects, tools, information or machines Soft Skills Social Skills Allow us to successfully interact with people
- 51. 51 ➢ Contribute to improve our Soft Skills ➢ So as to improve our interpersonal relationships ➢ And increase our Personal Effectiveness ➢ To ultimately improve our RESULTS! ➢ In work and life Goal setting
- 52. The particular complexity of Social Skills
- 53. 53 Key aspects of Social Skills 1 Unconsciously acquired and strongly fixed at early age 2 Rarely worked out later. Not treated in formal education. 4 Critical for ALL human activity Social Skills are… 3 Difficult to improve, as this requires a change of habits.
- 54. 54 People cannot perceive what we really ARE, but only what we… MANAGE TO COMMUNICATE Remember…
- 55. 55 And our communication to the world is composed of physical elements, called SIGNALS, which are the only part of us that can actually be perceived by others Remember…
- 56. 56 Exercise: Give examples of communication SIGNALS Perceived by Sight Hearing Smell Touch Taste Communication arsenal
- 57. 57 Verbal language ▪ Vocabulary / Pet words ▪ Linguistic excellence ▪ Rhetoric Paralanguage ▪ Tone / Intonation ▪ Volume / Accentuation ▪ Pronunciation ▪ Rhythm ▪ Pausing ▪ Timbre ▪ Noises Body language ▪ Facial expression ▪ Postures ▪ Gestures ▪ Way of walking, sitting, standing up, moving ▪ Clothes & shoes ▪ Accessories ▪ Hair and make-up ▪ Odor / Perfume ▪ Hands Communication components
- 58. 58 Emotional impact of verbal and non verbal expression Verbal Paralanguage Body language ?
- 59. 59 Emotional impact of verbal and non verbal expression Verbal: 7% Paralanguage: 38% Body language: 55%
- 60. 60 ¿Which is the origin of ALL our problems?
- 61. 61 Conscious mind Subconscious mind Emotional state, instincts and habits Beliefs Messages (relatively controlled signals) Meta-messages (uncontrolled signals) Goal
- 62. 62 Conscious mind Subconscious mind Emotional state, instincts and habits Beliefs Verbal / “I need that information” Non verbal / Angry facial expression / Negative posture / Bad tone / High volume / Aggressive gestures / Suspicious looks Goal ?
- 63. 63 Example: emotional impact of verbal and non verbal expression Positive Clear YES Nice NO Joke Lie Doubtful YES Lie Confused Sarcastic Negative Clear NO Verbal Yes No Non verbal Yes No
- 64. 64 Interpersonal relationships usually go to hell, because of our unchecked EMOTIONS Why are Social Skills SO IMPORTANT?
- 65. 65 “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” Dale Carnegie
- 66. Social Skills Golden Cycle
- 67. 67 Social Skills Golden Cycle 1 Empathy (put the other first) 3 Emotional self-control 4 Synchronization 5 Rich Expression 2 Active Listening (understand) 0 Set Goals INFLUENCE!
- 68. 68 Social Skills Golden Cycle I Other 1 Empathic listening 2 Self-controlled synchronized expression Processing
- 69. Effects of improved Social Skills
- 70. 70 We are less rejected. We get more accepted. We get more listened to. We get more respected. We get more appreciated / valued. We increase our INFLUENCE. The effects of improved Social Skills
- 71. 71 What is INFLUENCE? The personal capacity to modify others’ thoughts, ideas, opinions feelings, emotions and… behaviors.
- 72. 2 skills that make magic: Empathy + Active Listening
- 74. 74 ¿What is empathy? It is the capacity to clearly perceive others’ beliefs, values, emotional states and NEEDS. Empathy
- 75. 75 The one and only ancestral universal law of social interaction: Treat others as YOU would like to be treated (if you were in their situation…) Empathy
- 76. 76 How do you like to be listened? ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Active Listening
- 77. 77 If you want to really listen, deeply understand the speaker, and leave a good image, then follow 4 simple rules: 1 Motivate the speaker Help / encourage the speaker to open; do not fright or demotivate him / her by interrupting, doubting, or judging immediately. Control our tendency to immediately make strong affirmations. Active Listening
- 78. 78 If you want to really listen, deeply understand the speaker, and leave a good image, then follow 4 simple rules: 2 Show FULL interest in the speaker Not only pay attention, but also SHOW attention through your body language Active Listening
- 79. 79 If you want to really listen, deeply understand the speaker, and leave a good image, then follow 4 simple rules: 3 Perceive all messages and meta-messages from the speaker and situation Not only pay attention to words, but also to body language, context and all other meaningful elements of the situation Active Listening
- 80. 80 If you want to really listen, deeply understand the speaker, and leave a good image, then follow 4 simple rules: 4 Help the speaker to open, reason and express himself Help the speaker with open, mild, interconnecting questions Active Listening
- 81. Active listening & Business deals
- 82. 82 “You can close more deals in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie Key for selling
- 83. 83 Customers buy based on… 1. Price? 2. Perceived / imagined technical quality? 3. Easy communication, personal affinity and TRUST on the vendor’s representatives
- 84. 84 The nemesis of good deals: 1. Lack of focus 2. Social inability / Lack of touch 3. No sense of opportunity
- 85. Let’s exercise
- 86. 86 Role play exercises | Select one option ➢ Simulate reacting / responding as a team to a real-time customer strong complaint / attack ➢ 5 minutes for preparation ➢Wrong and right modes Empathy + Active Listening
- 87. 87 Body language demonstration Showing interest / lack of it ➢ With head movements ➢ Facial expression ➢ Eye contact ➢ With body posture ➢ With gestures ➢ With vocal intonation Empathy + Active Listening
- 88. 3 skills to change the world: Self Control + Synchronization + Rich Expression
- 89. 89 The key pre-requisite for all social skills true application Emotional Self-Control ¿Do you have it? ¿In what measure? ¿Do you exercise it?
- 90. 90 In EVERY work or life situation, we have 2 options: 1 = Express whatever we feel and think… or… 2 = Express what is REQUIRED to achieve our GOAL in the given situation
- 91. 91 “The royal road to a man's heart is just to talk to him about the things he treasures most.” Dale Carnegie
- 92. How can we satisfy others?
- 93. 93 ¿When does a customer (or any person) feel satisfied? Personal Satisfaction
- 94. 94 Expectations & Satisfaction Experience < Expectations => Insatisfaction Experience = Expectations => Satisfaction Experience > Expectations => Delight
- 95. 95 Key strategies to increase satisfaction 1. Improve Customer Experience 2. Lower Customer Expectations Beware of the salesman’s old trick…. Synchronization & Expectation Management
- 96. 96 Synchronization = The process of satisfying or surpassing expectations
- 97. 97 Expectations are strictly personal and situational, but… Normally, everybody hates… ✓ Complaints ✓ Pessimism ✓ Bad manners / rudeness ✓ Being disappointed ✓ Being criticized / Being humiliated ✓ Negative facial expressions or postures Synchronization
- 98. 98 Expectations are strictly personal and situational, but… Normally, everybody loves… ✓ Recognition / appraisal ✓ Smiles / nice facial expression ✓ Enthusiasm / Energy / Optimism ✓ Generosity / Offerings ✓ Clear explanations ✓ Being listened Synchronization
- 99. A bit of Neuroscience to understand reactions
- 100. 100 Our reactions | The Triune Brain (McLean)
- 101. 101 The 3 Mental Barriers | Ladder towards Rationality INSTINCTIVE barrier Non threatening signals Compatible non verbal signals / appearance Style imitation / Rapport EMOTIONAL barrier Accept / cherish others 'values or desires Express compatible values or desires Support / not oppose other’s desires RATIONAL barrier Coherence Logical expression Convenient proposals 1 2 3 Reptilian Limbic Neocortex
- 102. 102 Emotional – Instinctive (FAST) Synchronization Non threatening attitude / Facial expression / Smile Rapport Culture / values adaptation Supporting the other’s values / interests / ideology Showing political alignment / acceptance Showing trust Expressing interest Showing enthusiasm / optimism Synchronization & Expectations Management
- 103. 103 Acceptable proportion for the average person emotional stability: 99% acceptance, praise, and… 1% criticism Applicable to customers, c-levels, couples and ourselves! Mental filters
- 104. 104 Rational (SLOW) synchronization Show convenience Be clear Be concise Be organized Show concrete data / indicators Show proofs Show success cases Show method and competence Synchronization & Expectations Management
- 105. Let’s exercise
- 106. 106 Representatives from each group (or all) ➢ Present and sell a specific service to a difficult customer, sounding knowledgeable, impartial, professional. ➢ 4 Groups ➢ Part of the group represents the Company ➢ The other part represents the Customer Self control + Synchronization + Rich expression
- 107. 107 Each group prepares the situation, and representatives act the simulation: ➢ Giving general recognition to a Customer at a kick off meeting ➢ Saying NO to a Customer requirement, without offending ➢ Responding to a conflictive politically – tricky question ➢ Delivering bad news to a customer ➢ Apologizing to a customer for a problem or delay in a project Self control + Synchronization + Rich expression
- 108. The 5 elements of Personal Authority
- 109. 109 Personal Authority is the condition that allows a person to orient others’ behaviors towards the achievement of a predefined common goal. Personal Authority
- 110. Let’s exercise
- 111. 111 Which characteristics do we DETEST in other persons, so as to make them not influential over us? ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Personal Authority | Exercise
- 112. 112 Which characteristics do we APPRECIATE / ADMIRE in other persons, so as to make them influential over us? ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Personal Authority | Exercise
- 113. Personal Authority
- 114. 114
- 115. 115 Personal Authority | The 5 key elements Personal Authority 1 Due to perceived… Initiative 2 Due to perceived… Competence 3 Due to perceived… Ethics 4 Due to perceived… Personal image 5 Due to perceived… Position 1 Leading authority 2 Competent authority 3 Moral authority 4 Charismatic authority 5 Formal authority
- 116. 116 Personal Authority | The 5 key elements Personal Authority 1 Due to perceived… 2 Due to perceived… 3 Due to perceived… 4 Due to perceived… 5 Due to perceived… 1 Leading authority 2 Competent authority 3 Moral authority 4 Charismatic authority 5 Formal authority Brave attitudes Intelligent attitudes Generous attitudes Cool, funny attitudes Boss attitudes
- 117. 117 Personal Authority | The 5 key elements Personal Authority Initiative | Will power Emotional self control Competence | Vision | Intelligence | Knowledge Technical Skills Ethics | Admired values (relative to the public) Image | Appearance | Rhetoric | Voice Body language | Physical Energy Organizational position | Role | Hierarchy Titles | Honors 1 Leading authority 2 Competent authority 3 Moral authority 4 Charismati c authority 5 Formal authority
- 118. Let’s exercise
- 119. 119 Role playing situation | In groups Show initiative, competence, ethics and positive personal image, through a short 3-5 minute motivational group speech, about ANY subject you value, manage and want to sell to the audience. Convince us! Exercise
- 120. Developing the 5 elements
- 121. 121 Developing Personal Authority Develop Leading Authority Develop Competent Authority Develop Moral Authority Develop Charismatic Authority Develop Formal Authority
- 122. 122 The actual and definitive external professional image Developing Personal Authority Train will power through self-imposed challenges Increase interaction with bosses Increase internal proposals generation Study about the organization (strategy, customers, best practices, products & services portfolio) Study theory about Business Transformation / Organizational Change Mgt. Study about digital business paradigm Understand organizational values, policies and rules in general Understand Customers’ and all stakeholders’ values, policies and rules Learn how to express ethical values with non verbal expression Study and practice rhetoric and effective presentations Study acting / Practice continuous self-observation & self recording / ask other people improve personal appearance, invest in adequate outfit & accessories, and practice A LOT Give clear and fixed name to your position Practice how to explain the value of that position Practice how to explain the organization’s position in the business world Develop Leading Authority Develop Competent Authority Develop Moral Authority Develop Charismatic Authority Develop Formal Authority
- 123. Charismatic Image
- 124. 124 ➢ Personal image is defined by the sensations, feelings and thoughts we arouse in others’ minds ➢ Personal image is considered “charismatic” when we consistently arouse favorable sensations, feelings and thoughts in others’ minds Personal Image
- 125. 125 When our Personal Image is powerful (in others’ minds), we are said to possess… ✓ Professional image ✓ Personal impact ✓ Strong presence ✓ Personal magnetism ✓ Charisma Personal Image
- 126. 126 ¿Remember? One picture has the value of 1000 words.
- 127. 127 Non verbal signals, by their nature: Emblems (full meaning) Illustrators (complementary meaning) By their function: Acceptance indicators (non verbal YES) Rejection indicators (non verbal NO) Support signals Regulators Adaptors Personal Image and non verbal communication
- 128. 128 Positive ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Negative ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ Exercise: positive & negative image elements
- 129. 129 ✓ Visual contact | eyes wide open ✓ Energetic body language ✓ Moderately exaggerated verbal expression ✓ Smiles / Adequate physical contact ✓ Use peoples' names as if they were very well known ✓ Balance expression and listening times (1 to 2 at least) ✓ Optimistic attitude | no useless complaints ✓ Positive attitude | no useless criticism ✓ Abundant recognition ✓ More questions than affirmations ✓ Flexibility | Accepting offers Elements of a typical positive / charismatic image
- 130. 130 ✓ Complaints / Pessimism ✓ Not smiling / Serious or sad facial expression / Lack of visual contact ✓ Acid criticism / bad language ✓ Slow reactions and/or movements ✓ Not listening / Excessive talking ✓ Always affirming, never asking ✓ No intonation / no accentuation (monotonous speech) ✓ Never proposing anything ✓ No joking / bad mood / not telling stories ✓ Bad breath ✓ Not respecting dress code Elements of a typical negative image
- 131. 131 ▪ Lack of visual contact ▪ Not having opinions ▪ Not talking or talking too much ▪ Interrupting ▪ Speaking in low voice ▪ Rejecting others’ opinions immediately ▪ Talking in secret ▪ Using the cell phone ▪ Going in and out too much ▪ Laying on the chair as if it was a coach ▪ Sitting far from the table ▪ Use the hands to support the head ▪ Not taking notes (depending the case) Negative image elements in meetings with managers | c-levels
- 132. 132 ✓ Body inclined to the other person / moderately inclined head ✓ Calm visual contact, with normal blinking ✓ No complaints / no criticism ✓ Prioritizing questions over strong affirmations ✓ Paying attention / active listening / more listening tan talking ✓ Mild self criticism ✓ Open arms, open hands ✓ Nodding when listening ✓ Face and ears not covered with hair or other elements ✓ Dark clothes / White shirt / clothes not excessively sophisticated ✓ Moderation in make up and all accessories ✓ Relaxed facial expression / slight smile Image of reliability in a conversation
- 133. 133 ✓ Lack of non verbal expression ✓ Little visual contact ✓ Not speaking / taking too much time to respond ✓ Not making questions about the other ✓ Acid criticism ✓ Not talking about emotions and human aspects ✓ Intellectualizing emotional situations ✓ Slow calculated movements ✓ Fixed facial expression ✓ No eyebrows movement ✓ No smiles ✓ Closed postures Cold man
- 134. 134 ✓ Pay everything and never mentioning money ✓ Prioritize listening / Not lecturing or theories explaining ✓ Facial expression following the conversation ✓ Mention achievements informally, with humility ✓ Visual contact / mild smile ✓ Show surprise for her stories ✓ Never say “obviously” ✓ Not competing ✓ Tell stories with small details ✓ Never discuss / Show generosity and kindness to 3rd parties ✓ No bragging ✓ Not talking about previous relations ✓ Maintain good mood by all means Positive image in first date
- 135. 135 ✓ Self centered conversation ✓ Visual scanning ✓ Too self assurance / Never asking or doubting ✓ Not paying attention / interrupting ✓ Never apologizing or asking for permission ✓ Excessively good clothes ✓ Excessive erect when walking or moving ✓ Half closed eyes when speaking ✓ Stiff lips ✓ Closed fists / arms ✓ Covered face ✓ Dragging feet Suspicious image
- 136. Let’s exercise
- 137. 137 We describe a social situation in a piece of paper; we put them all together and then we take some of them to represent. For example: ✓ Listening to a heavy customer complaint ✓ Entering a meeting and greeting everybody ✓ Introducing a colleague to a customer ✓ Apologizing to a customer for a delay in a service ✓ Making friendly conversation with a customer c-level ✓ Offering / Selling additional services during an informal conversation ✓ Saying NO to a customer without offending ✓ Meeting a C level alone in the elevator ✓ Delivering bad news to a customer ✓ Pointing out to a customer mistake ✓ Reacting to criticism during a critical deliverables presentation Additional exercises | Exaggerating positive attitudes
- 138. Conclusions & Group Commitment
- 139. 139 Conclusions Social Skills are key for personal effectiveness in work and life, so… How can we improve? ▪ Real willingness to improve personal style ▪ Specific trainings (continuous and long term) ▪ Tons of practice - rehearsal (everywhere) ▪ Self recording (audio and video) ▪ Asking others about weaknesses ▪ Improving vocabulary through varied reading / complementary studies ▪ Practicing acting ▪ Practicing meditation / mindfulness ▪ Coaching / Psychotherapy
- 140. 140 The Key to improve Social Skills Continuous & thorough Self-observation Conclusions
- 141. 141 ✓ Relationships are the key to success, in work, business and life ✓ Verbal and non verbal communication are our tools for building relationships, because what we communicate is everything the world can know from us ✓ Empathy and Emotional self-control are fundamental skills to be able to use communication as an effective tool ✓ Effective relationships lead to networking and INFLUENCE ✓ INFLUENCE leads to PERSONAL EFECTIVENESS ✓ Personal effectiveness leads to better RESULTS ✓ To improve we need to practice A LOT Key Takeaways
- 142. 142 ✓ Reducing frequency of customer contact / Disappearing ✓ Believing that a kind customer will not kick us out ✓ Not being able to inspire confidence in the customer ✓ Failing to answer quickly all communications from the customer ✓ Assume that an email is enough to clear things ✓ Not verifying important communications success Reminder: Customer relationship mistakes
- 143. 143 ✓ Meeting with customer reactively, only when strictly necessary ✓ Not dedicating time to show and sell achievements to the customer ✓ Send critical emails without previous consent ✓ Knowing that a customer is not satisfied, and not doing anything ✓ Failing to read the customer signals “between lines” ✓ Allow criticism towards the customer Reminder: Customer relationship mistakes
- 144. 144 ✓ Accept out-of-scope or ambiguous requirements, without adequate negotiation ✓ Change elements in the service without customer previous consent ✓ Not recognizing mistakes. Self-justifying instead of apologizing and correcting ✓ Not being able to show technical leadership in front of the customer ✓ Failing to understand that customer perception has more power than reality when it comes to service evaluation Reminder: Customer relationship mistakes
- 145. 145 ✓ Insufficient internal communication / alignment ✓ Incoherent communication towards the customer ✓ Not asking for help, or doing it too late ✓ Failing to maintain ourselves informed about own standards and guidelines / Service portfolio / new products ✓ Lack of preparation before visiting a customer Reminder: Customer relationship mistakes
- 146. 146 “We commit ourselves to make our best effort to improve our relationships, inside and outside the organization, both in our work and personal life, optimizing our communication skills and style, learning to listen with care and attention, and developing a more positive and kind conversation, so as to become better, nicer and more effective persons, for our own good, and the good of our customers, colleagues, friends and family.” Group Commitment
- 147. Thank YOU!
- 148. References
- 149. 149 ✓ Dale Carnegie, “Cómo ganar amigos e influir sobre las personas” ✓ Bandler & Grinder, “Frogs to princes: NLP” ✓ Allan Pease, “El lenguaje del cuerpo” ✓ Dale Carnegie, “Cómo hablar bien en público e influir en los hombres de negocio” ✓ Stephen Covey, “Los 7 hábitos de la gente altamente efectiva” ✓ Og Mandino, “El vendedor más grande del mundo” ✓ Robert Greene, “Las 48 leyes del poder” ✓ Robert Cialdini, “La psicología de la persuasión” ✓ Daniel Goleman, “La inteligencia emocional” ✓ Ury y Fisher, “Sí, de acuerdo” (Getting to YES) ✓ William Ury, “Supere el NO” (Getting past NO) ✓ Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler, “Crucial conversations” ✓ Lalo Huber, “El mundo no sabe lo que somos”, “La mente del líder” y “Liderazgo y gestión de RH” References (books)
- 152. 152 Preparation ✓ Set goal ✓ Investigate / study ✓ Define presentation structure ✓ Assure rational & emotional impact elements ✓ Rehearse a lot Execution ✓ Synchronize before key messages ✓ Manage conflicts carefully ✓ Close with impact / Thank everybody Key elements for an effective presentation
- 153. Preparation
- 154. 154 ➢ Key point: hyperclear GOAL ➢ ¿What do I need the audience DO after the presentation? ➢ All presentations are “sales presentations” Set goal
- 155. 155 ✓ Occasion / context ✓ Customer culture ✓ Audience profile / needs / pain points ✓ Specific subject (all sources, real cases) – 10 to 1 rule ✓ Possible questions ✓ Audience size ✓ Other speakers? Order? Subjects? ✓ Time available ✓ Physical location and installations Investigate
- 156. 156 1. Goal 2. Agenda 3. Introduction / context 4. Proposal 5. Benefits 6. Plan 7. Roles 8. CSFs 9. Conclusion Define presentation structure | Example
- 157. 157 2 impact levels Rational impact -> UNDERSTANDING Instinctive - Emotional impact -> PERSUASION Impact
- 158. 158 ✓ First in paper in low voice ✓ Then alone, standing up, in louder voice ✓ Then with someone else ✓ Mirror ✓ Self recording ✓ Question brainstorming ✓ Repetition ✓ Time boxing Rehearsal
- 159. Execution
- 160. 160 ✓ Warm greeting ✓ Praising & thanking ✓ Field preparation ✓ Start with explicit agreement ✓ Enter gradually into the critical subject ✓ Go from easier to harder ✓ Keep sync Synchronize before going to the point
- 161. 161 ✓ Synchronize with audience beliefs, values, preferences and particular views ✓ Synchronize with audience specific concerns ✓ By all means, avoid “fingers on the sore” ✓ Identify synchronization “hot spots” and “fish-hooks” Emotional impact “To the average man, his toothbrush has more emotional impact that a global disaster” Dale Carnegie
- 162. Let’s exercise
- 163. 163 Prepare and give a 3-minute speech. Possible subjects: ✓ Keys to success ✓ The person I admire most ✓ My worst fear ✓ UFOs ✓ My best memory ✓ The most courageous act I witnessed ✓ My key strength ✓ My worst disappointment ✓ My best vacations ✓ My place in the world. ✓ My preferred music. ✓ Movies and culture ✓ Global warming ✓ Digital economy ✓ How to deal with crime Rhetoric exercise
- 164. 164 ✓ Request frequent feedback ✓ Observe faces and gestures / postures ✓ Observe body language ✓ Detect critical or bored looks ✓ Use open questions ✓ Make participate the bored or distracted ✓ Never allow people to diverge ✓ Praise the detractors ✓ Never discuss ✓ Accept criticism positively Manage objections / inconvenients / detractors I
- 165. 165 ✓ KEEP the central message ✓ Accept criticism with humility ✓ Accept disagreement as the way to learning ✓ Keep calmness, good mood ✓ Resolve all questions, within or without the presentation ✓ Return to central message as son as possible ✓ Joke on incidents / joke on oneself ✓ Never try to hide a mistake ✓ Apologize only when strictly necessary Manage objections / inconvenients / detractors II
- 166. 166 Perfectly planned ▪ Remind goals ▪ Recap with simple words ▪ Emphasize conclusions ▪ Prepare last phrase Prepare impact ▪ Abrupt closing ▪ With ALL energy ▪ Use all energy left Assure good impression ▪ Never end with a controversy ▪ Finish before expected ▪ Finish right after the climax Closing