RESET Guide

Front cover file is separate:
REINT_FLIPBK_FAM_FRCVR_REV.psd
U.S. ARMY
RESET HANDBOOK FOR SOLDIERS, DA CIVILIANS,
AND FAMILY MEMBERS

1

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Reconnecting
Communicating
Healing
Grieving
Staying Healthy

We recognize—
The commitment and increasing
sacrifices that our Families are making
every day.
The strength of our Soldiers comes from
the strength of their Families…
2
Army Family Covenant, 2007

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George W. Casey, Jr., General U.S. Army Chief Staff
Mr. Pete Geren, Secretary of the Army
Kenneth O. Preston, Sergeant Major of the Army

The Army Force Generation (ARFORGEN) cycle is used
to manage the operational commitments of the Army
forces to prepare, reset, and train Soldiers, DA deployable
Civilians, and Families who are faced with deployment
in more rapid succession. The RESET phase, or preparing
for the next deployment, sets the readiness conditions
for both Soldiers and Civilians, and their Families. This
readiness state is ultimately vital in order for Families to
thrive, as well as face any challenges that lie ahead. In
support of the ARFORGEN cycle, programs and services
continually optimize support to the total Army Family —
Active Army, National Guard, Army Reserve, DA Civilians,
and Family members.

Overarching goals relating to the RESET phases — 3
redeployment and post deployment — are to improve

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the capacity of Soldiers, Civilians, and Families. In
support of this part of the ARFORGEN cycle, the Army
Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) initiative steps
up the opportunity for Soldiers, Civilians, and Families
to improve performance and readiness. This is a
comprehensive holistic fitness program that focuses
on five dimensions: physical, emotional, social, spiritual,
and Family. The underlying idea is that when Soldiers/
Civilians have the opportunity to maximize available
training time, and are equipped with the skills to
become more “self-aware, fit, balanced, confident, and
competent,” then this “total fitness” contributes to
thriving in an era of high operational tempo.

Resiliency and independence are strengths that
help Soldiers, Civilians, and their Families thrive during
the deployment cycle. Programs that provide training
for managing readjustment issues, common health
issues, warning signs, and how to get help create
conditions that support “total fitness.”

Soldiers and Civilians must learn to adapt their combat
mindset. The Battlemind Training System addresses
ways to successfully adapt combat skills in order to
use them at home in responsible ways. A companion
training provides Family members opportunities to work
on the same subset of skills. Some key areas covered
include bonds and social support, emotional balance,
individual responsibility, loyalty and commitment,
independence, and navigating the spectrum of services. 4

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In addition to fixing and replacing and upgrading our
equipment and training for future missions, we also have
to revitalize our Soldiers and Families by providing them
the time and opportunity to recover from the cumulative
effects of sustained operations.
—General George W. Casey, October 2007
Web Site Sources:
Comprehensive Soldier Fitness – www.army.mil/csf
Battlemind Training System – www.battlemind.army.mil

CONTENTS
Reconnecting
Reconnecting—Renegotiating 6
Sharing Experiences 7
Decompressing 7
First Questions 8
Communicating
Talking 10
Home Front Experiences 10
Thinking and Taking Action 11
Healing
Commitment 12
Forgiveness 12
Difficult Issues 13
Wounded Warriors 13 5
Staying “Tuned In” 14

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Warning Signs: Depression 14
PTSD 15
Traumatic Brain Injury 16
Substance Abuse 17
Family Violence 18
Suicide Prevention 19
Grieving 22
Staying Healthy
Staying Fit 24
Sleep 24
Resources 26
Ultimate Tips
Family Members 30
Soldiers / Civilians 32

RECONNECTING
Reconnecting with your spouse and Family
members and restoring routines and roles after
long separations is hard on relationships. With multiple
deployments, and little time home, you barely have a
chance to get to know each other again before another
separation begins. Understanding the challenges that
may lie ahead, maintaining a commitment to each other,
and knowing when to get help will allow your Family
to grow and thrive. It is important to remember that
all Soldiers or DA Civilians and Family members have
to adjust to the changes. Everyone may be unsure of
when the returning person is ready to take back his or 6
her usual roles. Soldiers/Civilians need time to get used

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to being home. Sometimes they want to “jump right in”
and assume their former roles but Family members are
not ready to hand over the controls. Some, at first, are
not able to adjust to the newfound independence of
Family members.

What To Do. Everyone needs to have realistic
expectations about the changes that have occurred and
set aside time to decide how to handle the inevitable
tension. *Make a list of what needs to be worked out.
It is important to allow time to negotiate what can
change, and take action on what each Family member
can do. *Realize that everyone has important roles.

Sharing Experiences. Talking about the new skills
everyone learned during deployment and appreciating
the contributions and sacrifices everyone made helps
“reboot” relationships. It is important to learn why
things were done the way they were, even if mistakes
occurred. Sharing these life experiences helps each
Family member realize that they had support during
these difficult times. It also helps defuse the doubts that
can occur when Family members don’t understand how
decisions were made.

Decompressing. There will be times when everyone,
including children, will feel emotionally, mentally, and
physically exhausted. You may be too tired, irritable,
or preoccupied with work or Family life — or have too 7
many emotional battle scars to be close to each other

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right away. If Family members realize that rebuilding
a close relationship will take time, then more energy
will be available to take care of yourself and to work
on Family relationships. Family members need to talk
about how much they can handle, especially during
stressful days.

It’s really hard sometimes coming back to routine in both
work and at home. Sometimes it seemed easier to be in
Iraq. It’s all the Family stuff, questions, knowing about all
you missed, and have to catch up on.

RECONNECTING
First Questions. Soldiers, DA Civilians, and Family
members have common questions and concerns.
Addressing these concerns before the return home
eases the transition. Children’s questions will need to be
answered with care and reassurance, according to their
individual level of maturity.

For the Family — How are things going now that
my Soldier is home? What things are starting to feel
“normal”? What, if any, are some of the stressors or
concerns we are experiencing? Will he/she want to
spend more time with battle buddies? Do I worry that 8
our concerns will seem insignificant to our Soldier?

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Do I even want to hear about what my Soldier
experienced or had to do while in combat? Am I
concerned about future deployments? When will
things feel normal again?

For the Soldier / Civilian — Has my role at home
changed after being gone for so long? How is my
Family different from when I left? What will my
relationship be like with my Spouse/partner now? Will
my Family still love me? Will my Family still need me?
Will my Family understand what I have been through
during deployment and (possibly) combat? Should I
talk about my experiences to Family members and/or
friends? How and where do I fit in?

For Children — Will there be new or different rules?
When will Dad/Mom have to leave again? Will Dad/
Mom be different? Will Dad/Mom like the things I have
done or accomplished since they have been gone? Will
Dad/Mom be mad at me for something I did while they
were away?

ULTIMATE TIPS
Family Member Tip — Acknowledge that it may be
extremely difficult for the deployed Family member
to get used to the day-to-day events and emotions
of Family life. Careful management of your personal 9
physical and emotional health will help you tolerate

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frustration, which in turn will ease Family tension
during this transition.

Soldier / Civilian Tip — Recognize that Family
members have learned new skills, become involved
in new activities or new hobbies, possibly made
new friends, and taken on different roles. Be
prepared to spend time getting to know everyone
again. Monitor your instinctive desires to change
Family roles, routines, and priorities.
Prepare in advance to address key areas such as
finances, children, return home preferences, and
community changes!

COMMUNICATING
It’s Still About Talking To Each Other. To improve
communications know that, “how” things are said is as
important as “what” is said. This is best done in person,
where you can see each other face-to-face and listen
attentively — texting and emails, can be misunderstood!
Not all spouses and Family members realize that their
Soldiers’/Civilians’ experiences were life-changing.
This will be especially challenging during the first few
months at home, and still “running on adrenaline” —
or if Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is present.
Stress and unresolved issues do affect communication,
and arguments can reach levels that may confuse Family 10
members and frighten children. It is a good plan to

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work hard to keep everyone’s level of frustration as low
as possible — avoid sarcasm and minimize name calling
or reacting in ways that allow arguments to escalate
into physical confrontations. Seeking help signals
courage, strength, and responsibility!

Important Home Front Experiences. Recent Army
surveys found that Soldiers and Family members, after
long and multiple deployments, described problems
with communication: “It can be very, very frustrating
at times.” The most difficult adjustments came from
changes in Soldiers’ moods, restoring parenting roles, and
re-learning how to communicate again.
—Survey of Army Families V, 2006

Think First — Talk Next — Act Later. To Remind each
other that you really do want to hear about each other’s
lives / Set aside time to talk without distractions / Get
your message across using “I feel statements” / Listen
with compassion / Acknowledge the other person’s
feelings / Follow-up regularly to prevent problems
“down the road”
When you’re not sure what to say or when things seem
to get “off track,” be gentle with each other (and with
yourself), laugh often — and end your conversations on a
positive note!

ULTIMATE TIPS
Family Member Tip — Talk to each other openly, 11

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honestly, and at a comfortable pace. Sharing fears,
concerns, and experiences can be difficult and
cannot be rushed. Follow-up often with your
Soldier/Civilian about ways to help him/her “fit back
in.” Understand and accept your Soldier’s feelings
about discussing his/her combat experiences.
Everyone’s timeline is different.
Soldier / Civilian Tip — Make time for
conversation, listen with an open mind, and let
the other person know you understand what they
are saying. Sit down and talk often with Family
members because they want to be part of your life.
If you decide to talk with them about your combat
experiences, be careful not to overload them.

HEALING

Commitment To Any Relationship Needs To Be
Mutual. It’s All in the Teamwork. Many marriages
survive reintegration just fine. Some couples struggle
trying to restore their relationships, especially if there
have been multiple deployments, the Family is newly
established, or if there have been serious issues during
the separation. Some spouses may feel like strangers for
a long time, while others may eagerly try to “make up for
lost time.” There may be anxiety in displaying affection,
romance, sexual interest, or just being close.
12
Forgiveness Is Important. It Nourishes

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Relationships. Anger and mistrust will tear any
relationship apart. Family members may ultimately
“tune one another out” if they feel that they’ve been
told lies. If suspicion or anger continues, it can lead to
increased tension. Families need to develop positive
ways of dealing with problems, especially when they are
faced with tough issues. * Talk to each other about how
you feel and forgive each other’s mistakes. *Understand
that if routine things were not always handled well on
the home front, it was not a reflection on his/her
love for you.
Seek professional help to deal with sensitive — or
volatile issues.

Take a Chance To Talk About Difficult Issues. Using
your skills and strengths to learn how to manage the
destructive effects of the hurt, anger, betrayal, shame,
or guilt in difficult relationships can help rekindle
some emotional connectedness. Working out issues
of mistrust or jealousy, or even infidelity is challenging,
but it can be done. Infidelity can not be condoned but
understanding, forgiving, and making a recommitment
to the marriage with trust and hope in the future can
heal past wounds. With infidelity, consider seeking
professional help, as the involved partner needs to
make a sincere apology and a real commitment to
change — and the uninvolved partner needs to stop
seeking revenge and learn to forgive. A Chaplain or
other professional can help you work through these 13
challenges and create a sincere reconciliation.

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Wounded Warriors and Family Members Share a
Sense of Purpose. DoD and Army Wounded Warrior
resources emphasize staying connected to professionals
throughout the recovery process. To promote optimal
healing, all parties must recognize and discuss their
physical and emotional changes. Family members must
focus on their commitment to take care of their personal
health, fitness, and relationships. Resources such as the
Soldier and Family Assistance Center (SFAC) and the
Wounded Warrior Resource Center provide comforting
support and guidance on available assistance. [See
resources on p. 24 and www.woundedwarriorresourcecenter.com
(Select Family Support Handbook)].

HEALING
Stay “tuned in” to the warning signs of prolonged
stress or mental health problems. Seeking help before
problems become overwhelming is a sign of strength,
not weakness. The Families of returning Soldiers or
deployed Civilians are likely to notice signs of stress
during reintegration. Their Soldier/Civilian may have
trouble sleeping, be irritable or “jumpy,” or display
unusual behaviors for a while. Family members may find
it hard to adjust to changes in their Soldier’s/Civilian’s
personality and moods. Family members may also
develop mental health problems.
14
Pay Attention To Signs of Depression. This takes

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courage, sensitivity, and energy. Undiagnosed
depression can lead to serious behavioral health issues
such as risk-taking behaviors (reckless driving, substance
abuse, fighting), anxiety or other mood disorders. Any
talk of suicide must be taken very seriously.

Warning Signs of Depression: Feeling down most
days / Repeated crying episodes / Feelings of
hopelessness / Sleeping too little or too much /
Significant appetite changes / Fatigue / Difficulty
concentrating or making decisions / Thoughts of
death or suicide.
Ask for help to get the right care!

PTSD Is Treatable. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
(PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can result from
living through or witnessing a traumatic event such
as combat, handling dead bodies, surviving a natural
disaster, or a life-threatening accident, or sexual assault
(men or women). Without help, PTSD can last a lifetime.
It is important to recognize the symptoms of PTSD
in order to understand the Soldier’s important need
for quality sleep, and their need for “space” to unwind.
Families who live with someone with PTSD may need
to adjust some of their own routines, at least until
healing begins.

Common Symptoms of PTSD: Reliving the event
through flashbacks, dreams or thoughts / Avoiding 15
things that remind them of the trauma / Emotional

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numbness: Losing interest in activities previously
enjoyed, avoiding relationships, or not being able to
be close to Family members or friends / Anxiety or
increased arousal including difficulty sleeping or
having an over-active startle response or alert state.
They may over-react to a child’s cries, and sometimes
“come up swinging” in reaction to an unexpected
movement near them.
Expert professional help is warranted if the
symptoms last over a month.

HEALING
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is usually caused by a
violent head injury. Mild TBI results in a short-term loss
of consciousness, or the person exhibiting a confused
mental state. Multiple concussions or more serious TBI
can cause significant behavioral or personality changes.

The Soldier or Civilian with TBI can be misdiagnosed as
having PTSD or other mental health problems. If you
suspect that TBI may be responsible for your Soldier’s/
Civilian’s behavioral changes or health issues, seek
appropriate care from qualified medical professionals.
There has been an increase in the number of head 16
injuries sustained by Soldiers, due in part to the combat

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methods used (IEDs, for example).

Seek professional medical support!

Watch Out for Alcohol and Substance Abuse. Some
returning Soldiers/Civilians want to make up for lost
party time. Although the “return home” parties and
drinking usually calm down after the Soldier/Civilian
settles into the routines of life at home, sometimes more
serious problems develop. Remember that the negative
effects of drinking are increased by over-the-counter
drugs, prescription medications, caffeine, diet pills,
energy drinks, lack of sleep, or poor nutrition.

Warning Signs of Alcohol or Substance Abuse:
Drinking or using drugs to deal with painful feelings or
to block memories of combat experience / Drinking
to get to sleep / Becoming violent when drunk /
Binge drinking / Drinking and driving / Missing 17
school or work because of substance use.

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Help yourself make responsible choices, and get
proper care!

HEALING
Family Violence. Protection and Safety Are Critical.
Seek immediate help if anyone in your Family has been
hurt by a Family member, if you are afraid of personally
hurting a Family member, or if you are afraid to live in
(or leave) your home. Child or domestic abuse is never
acceptable. The Army Family Advocacy Program (FAP)
provides a range of tools that focus on supporting
healthy Family life. Services include: Victim Advocacy,
Transitional Compensation, referrals to counseling and
therapy, parenting or couple classes and workshops
(Strong Bonds retreats or Guard and Reserve Marriage
Enrichment Seminars), and the New Parent Support 18
Program — offering home visitation for expectant

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parents and parents of children from birth to 3 who
need extra support or are at risk for abuse or neglect.

Value That Everyone Has a Right To Feel Safe
Acts of violence that can destroy Families:
Behaviors: pushing, slapping, kicking, hitting
Remarks: threatening, belittling, menacing
Risk issues: unresolved infidelity, separation-divorce,
stalking, Family trauma, isolation, mental health
problems.
If you or someone you know is in danger, please
contact law enforcement immediately or the
Family Advocacy Program! Help is available 24/7.

Suicide. Watching Out for Signs of Distress Is Vital
To Preventing Suicide. Although anyone is at risk for
suicide under certain circumstances, Soldiers/Civilians
who have experienced combat, particularly if they are
suffering from depression, PTSD, or alcohol or drug
abuse, may be at higher risk of committing suicide. For
most Soldiers such thoughts are fleeting, but others will
take action to end their lives.

A Call to Action — Alert to Signs of Suicide: Remarks
such as “Nothing matters any more,” “It’s just not
worth it,” or “I can’t go on, I’m thinking of ending it
all” / Becoming depressed or withdrawn / Behaving
recklessly / Getting affairs in order and giving away
valued possessions / Relationship issues (infidelity, 19
divorce) / Abusing alcohol or drugs / Suffering a major

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loss or life challenge / Anticipating a significant failure
or humiliation such as losing a job or facing a court date
that could mean jail time.

Reach out for help and reach out to help others!

HEALING
The ACE Model is useful for suicide concerns.

A sk your Soldier/Civilian or Family member: [Ask
directly and calmly] “Are you thinking of killing
yourself?”

C are for your Soldier/Civilian or Family member:
Remove any means that could be used for self-
injury. Calmly control the situation and actively listen;
do not use force.

E scort your Soldier/Civilian or Family member: Never 20
leave them alone. Escort to the chain of command, a

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Chaplain, a behavioral health professional, or a primary
care provider.

Getting help is imperative! A Soldier/Civilian or Family in
the civilian sector can call a hospital or 911. Local Suicide
help lines and Military OneSource (MOS) provide 24/7 help.

Source: Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventative
Medicine (CHPPM, Suicide Awareness for Soldiers 2008).

ULTIMATE TIPS
Family Member Tip — Avoid harboring unresolved
anger or resentment that can generate more distress.
Work out even subtle mistrust, jealousy or bitterness.
Understand that if things were not always attended
to on the home front, that it was not a reflection
on his/her love for you. You know yourself and your
Soldier/Civilian. If problems are not improving on
their own, get help.

Soldier / Civilian Tip — Avoid harboring unresolved
anger or resentment that can generate more distress. 21
Work out even subtle mistrust, jealousy or bitterness.

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to on the home front, that it was not a reflection on
his/her love for you. Don’t be afraid to take a mental
health profile, ask for help, or simply take a break. It
is okay to pace yourself, and take time to “fit in.”

GRIEVING
Grief Reactions Are Common During Reintegration.
Soldiers/Civilians sometimes experience the death of
a friend or buddy, and intense grief reactions are to be
expected. When Soldiers/Civilians are present during
the death-event, they may feel additional horror, even
imagining that he/she perhaps could have prevented
the death. It is important to remember that everyone’s
physical, emotional, and spiritual fitness can help
maintain Family relationships during the grieving
period.

Experiencing Grief Happens To Everyone. Everyone 22
will experience grief at some point in their lives. And

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everyone experiences a variety of emotions and
thoughts when grieving, depending upon their culture,
Family expectations, age, spiritual resources, or personal
circumstances. Some people express their feelings,
and others mask their pain and disappointments, cry,
or retreat from Family and friends. Others try to self-
medicate with alcohol or drugs. It is important for
everyone to talk about their losses, and it helps relieve
intense emotions. *Children and youth will react to
their caretaker’s reactions, and may not understand
what is going on. Age appropriate explanations are
important. If services are needed for children, they must
be developmentally sensitive.

Accepting Loss Requires a Positive Attitude — and
Time. Longstanding grief, especially when unresolved
guilt is present, can interfere in Family and intimate
relationships. It can result in fear of getting close to
anyone / Fear of rejection if “the truth” is discovered /
Intense feelings of unworthiness leading to possible risk
taking (financial, emotional, sexual) / Distancing self
from others by avoiding social activity (e.g., returning
phone calls, not keeping dates).
Acceptance is the term used when the person no
longer feels deep anguish about the loss but is able to
accept the reality and move on with his/her life — it will
take time!

23

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ULTIMATE TIPS
Family Member Tip — Accept the changes in
yourself and in each Family member. This is the first
step in moving forward and healing after a loss.

Soldier / Civilian Tip — Keep a positive,
hopeful outlook towards the future, as time and
circumstances help in dealing with the loss.

STAYING HEALTHY
Staying healthy and fit physically, emotionally and
spiritually, minimizes the stress associated with the
day-to-day challenges of reintegration. Family members
often lack sufficient energy or time to do things for
themselves, or just spend needed time together.

Ways To Stay Fit. Everyone’s health status has an
impact on the Family’s sense of well-being. It helps to
discover new skills and dare to try new things.
Invest in good nutrition / Laugh at unexpected
situations / Relax — deep breathing, yoga, reading
inspirational books, listening to quiet music / Have 24
healthy conversations with buddies, Family members

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and other helpful people / Be open to new solutions.
Exercise regularly — it can even be a Family activity.

Get Enough Good Sleep. Soldiers in the field report
difficulty sleeping — it is difficult “to turn off” their
active alert state. This can carry over as they transition
to home. Optimal sleep for the “average person” is
about 7-8 hours per 24 hours. Lack of adequate sleep
can result in every day performance problems —
reduced alertness, memory deficits, reduced mental
flexibility, slower information processing, impaired
judgment, limited initiative and increased anger,
depression, and anxiety.

Managing Sleep Problems. Maintain a regular sleep
schedule / Pay attention to noise level, lighting, and
temperature / Relax before bedtime / Know a 10-15
minute nap is optimal / Avoid napping after 3 pm /
Exercise regularly / Recognize the effects of alcohol,
medications, and caffeine found in sodas, teas, chocolate,
and energy drinks / Do something relaxing until you
feel ready to sleep and avoid “watching the clock” if sleep
is interrupted / Be aware of the stimulating effects of
electronic gaming and television.
Spirituality Provides Courage and Hope. It can help
the Soldier/Civilian or Family member regain a sense
of purpose in life, especially if a traumatic event has
occurred. It is a time-honored source of strength, and
Army Chaplains are witnesses to the good that it can do. 25

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ULTIMATE TIPS
Family Member Tip — Take some time to focus
on your emotional, physical, and spiritual fitness by
getting into a good routine of exercise, sleep, healthy
nutrition, and pampering. Know that Soldiers/
Civilians may have very irregular sleep, especially
during the first few weeks upon returning home.

Soldier / Civilian Tip — Get into a PT routine that
pushes you physically to gratifying exhaustion. This
stimulates the mind and body, promotes good sleep
and allows mental, physical, and spiritual healing.

RESOURCES: ARMY SPECTRUM
OF HEALING AND SUPPORT
Life Skills Education — Information and activities
that facilitate self potential to maintain a healthy life;
make informed decisions; communicate effectively; and
develop coping skills.

Supportive Counseling — Interpersonal education
that provides emotional guidance throughout a short-
term life event to help sustain well-being: Community
outreach, individual or Family counseling, or support
groups. SERVICES that manage short term situational life
events: Army OneSource (AOS): Army Community Services
| National Guard and Army Reserve Family Programs | 26
Military OneSource (MOS) | New Parent Support Program–

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Home Visitors | Victim Advocates | Chaplains | Military
Family Life Consultants (MFLC) | Soldier Family Assistance
Center (SFAC)

Treatment / Therapy Programs — Clinical or
medical intervention that is typically long-term aimed at
remediation of symptoms, to support health and well-
being treatment goals. Clinical and therapeutic sessions,
or in-patient care. SERVICES that manage longer term
challenges: Medical Treatment Facility (MTF) | MTF for
Family Advocacy | Clinical Army Substance Abuse Program
(ASAP) | Marriage and Family Therapists | Behavioral
Health Services such as Psychiatry, Social Work Service
(SWS), Psychology, Psychiatric Nursing | Department of
Veteran Affairs

Military OneSource
www.militaryonesource.com
This DoD portal offers a toll-free telephone number
(1-800-342-9647 stateside and CONUS) and web site
link to email or call a master’s level consultant for
confidential counseling, at no cost 24/7. Offers articles
and coping tips for dealing with different situations.

Army OneSource (AOS)
www.myarmyonesource.com
Official Army “one-stop knowledge portal” that offers all
Army members a central point for getting information
about Family programs and access to services available
at Army Centers, on-line, and through 24/7 telephone
support.
27
Army Community Service (ACS)

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www.myarmyonesource.com (Select tab Family Programs)
ACS provides a range of quality of life programs in
support of Department of Defense activities, that
pertain to deployment and Family well-being. Operation
READY (Select tab Deployment Readiness) training
and other key services are provided: relationship
support (Family Advocacy), outreach, and emergency
assistance. Military Family Life Consultants (MFLC) offer
anonymous, confidential support and counseling via
licensed clinicians.

RESOURCES
National Guard Family Program
www.guardfamily.org
This web site provides information, services and support
to National Guard Soldiers and their Families. Phone
numbers (including state FAC and FAC Specialists); links
to support.

Army Reserve Family Programs
www.arfp.org
The ARFP web site is a one-stop portal to get connected
with Army Reserve Family support information and
resources. Phone numbers, links to support agencies and
28
interactive support are available 24/7.

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Army Behavioral Health
www.behavioralhealth.army.mil
Answers frequently asked questions about deployment-
related mental health issues, addresses warrior care, and
identifies resources for Soldiers and Family members.

Soldier and Family Assistance Center
www.myarmyonesource.com (Select tab Family Programs)
This Center provides multiple Family services and
connections for wounded Soldiers, Families, and DA
Civilians. The virtual SFAC (vSFAC) is a web-based system
that offers information and support; especially helpful for
Family members who are not near military facility.

My Hooah 4 Health
www.hooah4health.com
U.S. Army health promotion and wellness web site that
covers topics of personal-physical, material, mental, and
spiritual-state of Soldiers, Civilians, and their Families as
well as covers topics concerning the deployment.

American Red Cross
www.redcross.org
This web site provides information and interactive
support; lists telephone and related links, and offers
online support 24/7.

Strategic Outreach to Families of All Reservists
(SOFAR) — www.sofarusa.org/about_sofar.html
SOFAR is a nonprofit program that connects military 29
Families with clinicians who provide free mental health

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services with the primary focus on the extended
Families of Army Reserve and National Guard Soldiers.

[Veterans Affairs and DoD] after deployment
www.afterdeployment.org
This web site was designed by the Department of
Defense and the Department of Veterans Affairs as
an alternative to face-to-face counseling to decrease
stigma and provide access to care to those who do not
live near a Military Treatment Facility. The focus is on “self
checks” and online workshops which help assist with
concerns related to post deployment, in areas such as
sleep, seeking spiritual fitness, dealing with depression,
handling stress, overcoming anger, etc.

ULTIMATE TIPS: Family Members
Reconnecting — Acknowledge that it may be
extremely difficult for the deployed member to
get used to the day-to-day events and emotions of
Family life. Careful management of your personal
physical and emotional health will help you tolerate
frustration, which in turn will ease Family tension
during this transition.

Communicating — Commit to talking time to talk
with one another openly, as sharing fears, concerns,
and experiences can be difficult and cannot be 30
rushed. Follow-up often with your Soldier/Civilian

Draft, 09 June
about ways they think will help him/her “fit back
in.” Respect your Soldier’s/Civilian’s feelings about
discussing his/her combat experiences.

Healing — Avoid harboring unresolved anger or
resentment that can generate more distress. Work
out even subtle mistrust, jealousy or bitterness.
Be proactive, know the warning signs. You know
yourself and your Soldier/Civilian. If problems are
not improving on their own, get help.

Grieving — Accept the changes in yourself — and
in each Family member. This is the first step in
moving forward and healing from any loss.

Staying Healthy — Take some time to focus on
your emotional, physical, and spiritual fitness by
getting into a good routine of exercise, sleep,
healthy nutrition, and pampering. Know that
Soldiers/Civilians may have very irregular sleep,
especially during the first few weeks upon returning
home.

Personalized Army OneSource Support 31
—Walk-in: garrison Army Community Service (ACS)

Draft, 09 June
or National Guard/Reserve facility
—Telephone garrison ACS, National Guard or Army
Reserve specialist, or Military OneSource
—On-line information and resources.
[See Helpful Resources (www.myarmyonesource.com)
and page 24].

ULTIMATE TIPS: Soldiers / Civilians
Reconnecting — Recognize that Family members
have learned new skills, become involved in new
activities or new hobbies, possibly made new
friends, and have taken on different roles. Children,
especially, mature and change quickly. Be prepared
to spend time getting to know everyone again.
Monitor your instinctive desires to change Family
roles, routines, and priorities.

Communicating — Make time for conversation,
listen with an open mind, and let the other person 32
know you understand. Follow-up often with Family

Draft, 09 June
members/friends because they want to be part
of your life. Talk with them about your combat
experiences on their own timeline, being careful
not to overload.
Healing — Avoid harboring unresolved anger or
resentment that can generate more distress. Work
out even subtle mistrust, jealousy or bitterness.
to on the home front, that it was not a reflection on
his/her love for you. Don’t be afraid to take a mental
health profile, ask for help, or simply take a break. It
is okay to pace yourself, and take time to “fit in.”

Grieving — Accept any loss and keep a positive,
hopeful outlook towards the future. Time and
circumstances change everything.

Staying Healthy — Get into a PT routine that
pushes you physically to points of gratifying
exhaustion. This stimulates the mind and body,
promotes good sleep and allows you to heal
mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Personalized Army OneSource Support
—Walk-in: garrison Army Community Service (ACS)
or National Guard/Reserve facility 33
—Telephone garrison ACS, National Guard or Army

Draft, 09 June
Reserve specialist, or Military OneSource
—On-line information and resources.
[See Helpful Resources (www.myarmyonesource.com)
and page 24].

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

U.S. Army RESET Handbook for Soldiers, DA Civilians,
and Family Members

First Edition, 2010

This guidebook was prepared for the U.S. Army Family
and Morale, Welfare and Recreation Command (FMWRC)
by Cornell University, Department of Human Ecology,
Family Life Development Center under cooperative
agreement 2008-48654-04795 with the Department
of Agriculture, Cooperative State Research, Education,
Extension Service (CSREES), and reviewed and edited 34
by FMWRC staff. This handbook is based on the

Draft, 09 June
information presented in Operation READY materials
and trainings, Army regulation and guidance, and
civilian and military research on separation and combat
deployments.

Graphic design, Wells Communication, Ithaca, N.Y.

MATERIALS MAY BE REPRODUCED FOR
DEPARTMENT OF ARMY USE.

Back cover file is separate:
REINT_FLIPBK_FAM_BKCVR.psd

36

Draft, 09 June

Getting Prepared, Staying Prepared

RESET Guide

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