The First Session
- 1. Mid-Course Corrections – the Couple’s Workstation This is a brief outline that will be explained further in the training session. This is a recommended first session, though not a requirement. The First Session Make sure your face sheet includes the email address for each partner. I.Getting Started What’s a nice couple like you doing in a place like this? Keep this brief, but make sure each person has an opportunity to share what brought them into therapy at this time. Sometimes, asking why now as opposed to a month or six months ago will give you valuable information The goal is to understand the presenting problems and to let them experience being very accurately understood. Ideally this will be fairly brief. So be sure to do a summary mirror, making sure you get their emphasis accurately. II.“Here’s how I like to get acquainted with a couples…” III.The Three Statements (1)What are the emotions you experience over and over again with your spouse/partner? Both negative and positive. (2)What is your commitment to the marriage/relationship? AND What is your commitment to working on the relationship? (3)Share one or two areas of the relationship you would like to make sure we work on fairly early in these sessions? If this is a completely successful therapy experience, how will the relationship be different when we finish? This could refer to unmet needs, or things that happen or don’t happen that are frustrating or painful.
- 2. IV.The Mirroring Idea (1)The couple decide who starts (2)They will alternate going first (3)Instruction to the Receiver “The only purpose for living is for you to understand this “man/woman” and be a pure listening (4)The MCI Approach to Mirroring (a)M – Mirror (b)C – Check Back – “Did I get it? (c)I – Invite More – “Is There More” b)5. Feedback About the Mirroring Process (1)Is it more blessed to give or to receive (2)What was it like to mirror? To be mirrored? (3)Can you see the wisdom of this skill? V.Feedback from the Therapist (1)Strengths, Difficulties Acknowledged VI.Home Work Assignments (a)Give the Workstation Flyer With brief Explanation (b)Assign the Brief Imago Workup in the Manual (c)Show them the pages for the Couple’s Dialog
- 3. VII.After the session – Optional but recommended A.Send one email to both partners. Don’t send separate emails because you will probably want to maintain the policy of openness and “no secrets”. Welcome them, share something positive about them in the session (level of commitment, etc). Send the link to your website and explain why this is important. Repeat the brief introduction if appropriate. Send the computer version of the Brief Imago Workup if you think that would make it easier. Particularly if you send the Workup to me for supervision, you will find the Computer Version much easier to read and send.