Understanding Purpose, Time and Money
- 1. “Sowhat if today were the last day of the rest of your life?”
- 2. Goals Thought provoking Informative Practical Fun
- 3. Skill 1 Find a quiet place in your mind. Now take deep slow belly breaths.
- 4. “It appears that the way people perceive the world is more important to happiness than objective circumstances.” Ed Diener Great wealth is not having great possessions but few wants!
- 5. “To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
- 6. The Nun Study (Danner et al., 2001) Only positive feelings predicted longevity Age 85: 90% of most cheerful quartile alive; 34% of least cheerful quartile alive. Age 94: 54% of most cheerful quartile alive; 11% of least cheerful quartile alive
- 7. Two Types of People in the World The Fault Finder “The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise” Henry David Thoreau Could lead to resignation The Merit-finder “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Ralph Waldo Emerson Could lead to detachment The need to respect reality
- 8. The positive elements of being a Merit Finder Well-being (Thompson, 1985) Health Affleck et al. (1987) Bower (1988) King & Miner (2000) Longevity
- 11. “We see what we look for and we miss much of what we are not looking for even though it is there... Our experience of the world is heavily influenced by where we place our attention.” Stavros and Torres
- 12. “As a man thinkth so shall he be!” Cognitive distortions By David Burns
- 13. The Ten Cognitive Distortions (David Burns) 1. All-or-nothing thinking 2. Magnifying or minimizing 4. Emotional reasoning 3. Over-generalization 6. ‘Should’ or ‘must’ 5. Mental filter statements 4. Disqualifying the 8. Labeling positive 10. Personalization and blame 5. Jumping to conclusions
- 14. Skill 2 Identify ways in which you think that are stress inducing or stress producing. Identify one action you can take to promote new thoughts.
- 15. Actions: Change the Way You think! Seek actions that promote positive attitudes. Help others Exercise Be mindful Value self Become empowered - Reduce helplessness What actions can you take?
- 16. Other Distortions By our nature we focus on the unique for self preservation. For survival we focus on: Danger Change The media filters these realities to play on our inherent preferences for the unique.
- 17. Media bias tends to: Magnify rather than report all Accentuates the negative It tends to be detached from the greater reality Focuses on the negative 10%
- 19. We need to remember: Focus creates reality. Change your focus and you change your reality.
- 20. Actions: Change the focus of your attention. to news, art and the media! Be more selective Look for good news Question the bad news Bring balance to your use of the media.
- 21. Seek positive media and art
- 22. Seek Good News
- 24. A Matter of Interpretation “Never let a good crisis go to waste.” Anne Harbison “Things don’t necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best of things that happen.”
- 25. A Matter of Interpretation “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill
- 27. HOW MANY OF YOU WORRY?
- 28. The Nature of Worry Non productive Concern thought Same Reoccurring Concern thoughts More thought
- 29. “If I always think, what I always thought, I will always feel what I always felt!”
- 30. Seek Action! Breaking the cycle of worry can be a conscious action or an unconscious stroke of luck! Either way an ACTION is required.
- 31. Acceptance is an action YOUR LIFE IS MADE UP OF: IMAGES + REALITIES The Happiness Option
- 32. IF YOUR IMAGE OF LIFE AND REALITY OF LIFE ARE NOT THE SAME! IMAGE + REALITY = YOU will be:
- 33. Options: Make a change… You have choices:
- 34. You can change your image to match your reality! New Image + Reality = HAPPY ACCEPT the dog you have!
- 35. You can change your reality to match your image! Image + New Reality = HAPPY Option find the NEW DOG YOU REALLY WANT!
- 36. Consequences Optimistic Hopeful Excitement
- 37. DO YOU HAVE ANY DOGS IN YOUR LIFE YOU DON’T WANT?
- 38. More Actions: Research on Gratitude Emmons and McCullough (2002) Four groups: gratitude, hassles, superior, control Psychological and health benefits Physiological benefits (McCraty & Childre 2004) Benefits of trait gratefulness Maintaining freshness through mindful focus
- 39. Learning to be Grateful “You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing, and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” “Gratitude has produced the most purely joyful moments that have been known to man.” G. K. Chesterton
- 41. 21 days or your money back Try It! Be mindful – stop, reflect, meditate Becoming a merit-finder Visualize it, feel it Chipping away negativity Nurture Gratitude Make a bucket list “Life begins when you do!”
- 42. Summary of Options Deep breathing Thought distortions Rituals Worry/Sleep Acceptance Gratitude 21 days or your money back
- 43. Bibliography and Recommendations • Danner, D., Snowdon, D., and Friesen, W. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Finding from the nun study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 804-813. • Emmons R. A. & McCullough M. E. (2004). The Psychology of Gratitude. Oxford University Press. • Seligman, M. (2002). Authentic Happiness. Free Press. • Brother David Steindl-Rast (1984). Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer. Paulist Press. • Wiseman, R (2003). The Luck Factor. Miramax. • Wiseman’s website: http://www.luckfactor.co.uk/