WKA #24: "SWITCHING FLIPS" TRANSCRIPT.pdf

WHO KILLED ALASKA?
#24 - DETECTIVE FILES: SWITCHING FLIPS
TRANSCRIPT
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun

OUTSIDE.
BOO
When it’s winter, all you want is to get out of the cold. But then it’s summer, and you forget how
you wanted to be warm. Why would I go outside? I can just hide in the bathroom and binge
cartoons on my phone. It sucks, because then summer ends. But tomorrow’s Saturday. Fourth of
July was practically recent. There’s gonna be fireworks on Jones Beach. Maybe tomorrow’s
explosives will just fall out of the sky and detonate at ground-level.
DENVER
Uh. I get that.
BOO
I hate it when people pretend to understand. Not that you’re doing that, Denver. If I’m making a
point and the other person just says something like, “That’s so true” or “I see,” instead of asking
what I mean, I hate it.
DENVER
Mm.
BOO
I’m just thinking about how medieval culture didn’t care for time; they cared about weather and
the apocalypse. And maybe we haven’t changed that much. But, I wouldn’t mind getting back on
topic. I have a question. Do you know what I’m about to ask?
DENVER
I'd rather you just tell me than me guessing.
2

BOO
What ending do you want for this story? The end is coming. What is it you want, Denver?
DENVER
I want a happy ending.
BOO
I see.
Pause.
BOO
I want my brother back.
3

DENVER [narrator]
Four years ago, Alaska Curtis was murdered in the woods of Stump Town, 20 minutes north of
Roslyn Estates. This is Long Island— the land of manicured lawns and alcoholic iced tea. To
find Alaska’s killer, I’m investigating the grown up children of some of the wealthiest families in
the United States.
Our six suspects are Jo Magaro, Emma Wooten, Logan Goldberg, Bobby Yorke, Boo
Curtis, and the late Glory Johnson. And then you have me— my name is Detective Finn Denver.
I’m a private investigator looking for the killer.
THEME SONG STARTS
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files, an original series by The Ghost Factory. This is
Episode 24: “Switching Flips.” This episode is about the secondary instant at which a flip is
switched. Listeners be warned that this series may be inappropriate for younger audiences, and
content throughout may be alarming or upsetting. Welcome to the Detective Files. Welcome to
the truth.
THEME SONG ENDS
4

DENVER [narrator]
I meet with Shay again.
SHAY’S HOUSE.
SHAY [disguised voice]
You’ll want to be recording this.
DENVER
I’m recording.
According to the state, there is no Jeremy Goldberg. There is no Logan Goldberg. Jeremy’s
driver’s license was fake. His birth certificate was fake. His social security number belonged to a
dead woman in Massachusetts.
DENVER
Wait, so, who is he?
He was a toddler when his fraudulent birth certificate was submitted to his pre-k. Now we have
people looking into child disappearances in the area.
DENVER
You’re kidding. He was kidnapped? That’s crazy.
DENVER [narrator]
Shay tells me that Jeremy might have been kidnapped at a young age by the couple claiming to
be his parents.
5

Well— we’re trying to find out. Could be.
DENVER [narrator]
This could have nothing to do with Alaska, but this is now my business. Mike and Jeremy look
so similar. I guess it’s just a coincidence.
OUTSIDE.
The door closes behind Denver.
Cars pass.
Cicadas. Chirping birds.
DENVER [narrator]
It’s bright. I wonder if they have windows in holding cells. Probably small ones.
Pause.
DENVER [narrator]
I head home.
DENVER’S HOUSE.
Denver is changing shirts.
6

JO [from the bathroom]
You’re gonna invite me to something.
DENVER
I’m meeting Riley Shadowmoon tonight— Boo’s psychic. He invited me. Do you want to come?
JO [from the bathroom]
No.
DENVER
Okay. No worries.
JO
He’s gonna be there.
DENVER
Huh?
JO
Not right now. There are reasons I can’t.
DENVER
Up to you.
DENVER [narrator]
I go to crane my neck to see the glowing crack under the door-hinge, where the open door and
the wall are parted. In the sliver, I catch her fingers jittering. And maybe her face is turned to the
window.
DENVER
Up to you. I guess I’ll have to leave you with Milton, then.
7

Milton meows.
DENVER’S CAR.
DENVER [narrator]
I’m carefully within the speed limit today. I’m very careful.
SHADOWMOON’S PRACTICE.
Door jingles.
DENVER [narrator]
There’s a lobby to Shadowmoon’s practice.
It’s small. I’m separated by a beaded curtain.
SHADOWMOON
SPIRITS! MAGIC! THE GREAT ABYSS!
BOO
Yup! We’re here!
SHADOWMOON
WHO HAS COME TO THE PLACE THAT IS THIS?
DENVER [narrator]
I hear voices that aren’t Shadowmoon.
They’re voices I know.
BOO
Hey. We’re going to fireworks after this.
SHADOWMOON
ABRACADABRA!
8

SHADOWMOON
Sorry, what? What was that?
BOO
Me and my nerds’re gonna go see fireworks after.
BOBBY
I’m not a nerd!
EMMA
What’s wrong with being a nerd!?
BOBBY
I’m so cute.
EMMA
Are you intimidated by my intelligence?
BOBBY
I’m too cute to be a nerd.
EMMA
Look how cute he is! And I hope a nerd beats you up! But not really. They’re too weak to do
damage.
Denver enters through a beaded curtain.
DENVER
Good evening.
9

BOO
Hello.
Emma gasps.
Alice barks once.
DENVER
How’s everybody doin’? I saw you yesterday.
BOO
Oh? Yeah.
DENVER
Bobby. How are you doing?
BOBBY
I’m doing duper good! Missed ya. You, uh.
DENVER
Yeah. Um. Has anything changed recently?
BOBBY
Like what exactly?
DENVER
I like the jacket.
BOBBY
Thank you.
10

SHADOWMOON
Denver. Thank you so much for coming.
DENVER
Yes. Of course.
SHADOWMOON
So, uh, I ordered Chinese food! It’s on the table. And, uh, y’know what, I’m thinking about it,
Bobby and Emma can stay.
BOO
Okay.
SHADOWMOON
They can join us. Thank you for coming, everyone, especially the people I invited.
BOBBY
Sorry.
EMMA
Sorry.
SHADOWMOON
Now. We’re gonna stop looking at Boo. Alright. Let’s get comfortable, folks.
BOBBY
My tail is between my legs. I have offended the psychic.
DENVER [narrator]
Everyone sprawls out on the couches. Boo tries to get Alice up on the couch, but she refuses.
Then she plops her, her rear down and pretends she can’t see him. Shadowmoon looks around
11

silently. He invited me and all of us here to tell us something. But a minute passes. Then he
speaks.
Music clicks off.
SHADOWMOON
We’re here to perform a summoning ritual.
BOBBY
YES!
SHADOWMOON
Not for a demon, Bobby. Have some decorum. For a person.
BOBBY
Oh.
SHADOWMOON
I thought you’d want to summon Logan Goldberg.
Pause.
SHADOWMOON
Y’know. Since he’s being held by the pigs, and you have no way to talk to him, and, this would
be a good way to interview him, right? I-I promised myself I wouldn’t bring magic far into a
12

criminal case, but this is far more valuable than divining magic. But, I mean, yeah, before I get
ahead of myself, we don’t have to summon Logan if you don’t want to.
EMMA
Holy crap.
BOO
Is that possible?
EMMA
That’s incredible.
BOBBY
D-d-do we have to kill him?
SHADOWMOON
No! God, no, no! You can ritualistically summon a living Outsider. You cannot summon a dead
one! Yeah, Logan’s gonna need to accept the summoning, but yeah, if he accepts, yeah, we can
summon him! To start off— Hey, is everybody, like, interested in doing this?
EMMA
Yes!
BOBBY
Heck yes.
DENVER
Yes.
SHADOWMOON
Alright, to start off, we’ll need a location.
BOO
Not really.
SHADOWMOON
Wha, um, I’m sorry?
13

BOO
No, I’m sorry. I’m, I’m not really interested. This is very fascinating, but, with love, we’ll do this
over my dead body.
Bobby and Shadowmoon chuckle.
SHADOWMOON
Oh! Okay! Tell me why.
BOO
I’ll definitely watch if you guys go through with this, but, this is a bad idea. I’d prefer if you
guys did research on forensics or just, like, re-listened to the show, uh, maybe? I dunno. Bobby, I
mean, we weren’t recording for this, but Bobby and I promised we wouldn’t take people at their
word anymore.
DENVER
Okay, we’re all for democracy here. How about we talk about it and then we take a vote?
SHADOWMOON
I like that.
DENVER
Alright, tell us why you wouldn’t like to summon Logan, and then we’ll come to a conclusion.
EMMA
Yeah, why?
14

BOO
I’m not voting against it. I’m just not voting. We shouldn’t even consider it.
DENVER
Well I’d like to hear an argument, and then maybe I’ll change my vote.
BOO
You just like the sound of my voice.
EMMA
Boo. Shouldn’t we talk to Logan?
BOO
If I have to explain, then— I don’t want to.
EMMA
Dude!
SHADOWMOON
If you don’t want to do this, Boo, I’d also like to hear your reasoning.
BOO
Logan plays the snake. He wriggles out of your hands. He jokes around too much when he’s
asked a sensitive question, and aside from that, he just tries to make you feel bad for him until
you’re on his side.
EMMA
But he’s just really hurt and he’s upset.
15

BOO
This is absolutely how I’m going to react when someone suggests talking to the killer of my
brother. After all, he can just lie to make you think he didn’t do it.
EMMA
Boo! Dude! I am so surprised!
Boo sputters.
BOO
Be surprised!
EMMA
You always think things out!
DENVER
Mm?
EMMA
I’m supposed to be the one who follows my heart! Not you!
BOO
Logan did it. The body was in his store. I’m— This is extremely reasonable. Wait, no— I’m
acting calmly. With common sense. Logan had a corpse.
BOBBY
I agree with that, but.
16

DENVER
Ok.
BOBBY
But like.
DENVER
I think we can take it to a vote.
BOO
You can’t take stupid ideas to a vote.
DENVER
So isn’t that just your opinion? That it’s stupid?
BOO
You can’t vote on something that’s going to cause harm, and this impacts me and my life the
most. You don’t have authority over the parts of my life that still belong to me.
DENVER
I think you’ve already made your case. So
let’s see what people think.
SHADOWMOON
Ooh, this is getting complicated.
BOO
What’s your case, handsome?
EMMA
Stooop!
17

Bobby laughs.
DENVER
I think you shouldn’t do that and I think it should be valuable to get a chance at new information.
I think he has information.
EMMA
At the very least!
BOO
You think he’s gonna say something new even though he’s been quiet for years?
DENVER
We’ll find out.
EMMA
Yeah, Boo! He’s in his feelings!
BOBBY
I think tha…
EMMA
You’d know that if you saw him!
BOO
Logan is going to brainwash you. This is you choosing to be brainwashed. This is like when
someone chooses to die so they remove their choice to live or die in the future.
SHADOWMOON
I liked Denver’s idea.
18

EMMA
Jesus.
Boo scoffs.
BOO
Okay?
EMMA
You drove us here! We’re watching fireworks with you tonight!
BOO
And?
Bobby groans in frustration.
BOO
Yes, we’re doing that.
SHADOWMOON
I like Denver’s idea! Let’s vote! Who votes to summon Logan?
BOO
I’m not voting.
EMMA
That’s fine.
19

SHADOWMOON
One, two, three, four. And maybe Alice, because they’re standing really tall.
BOO
Bobby? Can I ask you why you’re voting to summon Logan?
EMMA
Yeah, why?
BOBBY
I mean I, um, I agree that Logan did it, uh, at least like in part, but. I just want to see what he’s
gonna say.
DENVER
I think that’s very reasonable.
Emma groans in frustration.
SHADOWMOON
Anyway, it seems like we’re doing the ritual.
BOO
If it’s not even cool to look at?
Boo clicks his tongue.
20

BOO
Pissed.
SHADOWMOON
Folks. We need to get to a location that Logan is always in or around. Then we will do the ritual
and summon Logan. So! Okay! I wanna hear from you. Where are we going? What’s a place
that’s really familiar to Logan? That is where we will do the ritual.
DENVER
Excuse me?
SHADOWMOON
Y-yes?
DENVER
How about his high school? Would that work?
SHADOWMOON
Ooooh, that’s— yes! Great choice. That’s a really good choice.
DENVER
So, the thing is, I have an interview with the school’s principal tomorrow.
EMMA
We’re breaking in. Okay, how do we break in?
DENVER
Hi, hello, I can get you in the building. I’m being let into the school tomorrow to interview the
school’s principal.
21

EMMA
Oh!
DENVER
We, uh, we don’t have to say who you guys are. I can bring all of you. It should be just about
empty for the summer.
SHADOWMOON
Awesome! That’s awesome! O! Kay! So!
DENVER [narrator]
We iron out the details. I head home. Then tomorrow becomes today.
DENVER’S CAR.
DENVER [narrator]
Holy Cross High School is probably the world’s smallest castle. Beyond the trees, Holy Cross is
a mishmash of stone arches with a weathervane on top. I pull into its shining gates, in between a
group of waving bald men and straight-haired women in polo shirts. I find a parking space.
Car stops. Denver gets out.
OUTSIDE.
DENVER [narrator]
A flowerbed in the shape of a cross leads to the front steps. That is a very large flower cross
22

Boo’s late. Emma and Bobby are late. Even Riley Shadowmoon is late. So I enter Holy
Cross. It’s the principal who lets me in.
The door opens.
DENVER [narrator]
My current guiding question is, was Jeremy kidnapped by his parents?
HOLY CROSS HIGH SCHOOL.
DENVER
So, how long has Kaitlyn Goldberg been an employee at Holy Cross?
PRINCIPAL
Kaitlyn Goldberg… has been working here a while. Maybe thirty years.
DENVER [narrator]
This is a part of a background check I’m doing on Jeremy’s parents. Jeremy’s mother, Kaitlyn,
has been working as a custodian at Holy Cross High School. It’s a position she’s held for thirty
or so years.
PRINCIPAL
She’s a good custodian, and the kids like her.
DENVER
Do the kids talk to her?
23

PRINCIPAL
I’ve seen her “adopt” a kid every couple years. She helped a girl who was failing out of math
class and, uh, we made up an award for it. I guess Kaitlyn’s a little strange, but, you know, it’s a
good environment for her. (pause) She just mumbles rude comments. She doesn’t understand that
she’s an instigator. But this is a good environment for her.
DENVER
Were you the principal in 2001?
DENVER [narrator]
In 2001, a Holy Cross student went missing for nine months. The incident made news when the
disappeared student showed up to school one day, revealing that she had run away from her
home, and was taken in by her school’s custodian, Kaitlyn Goldberg, along with the custodian’s
husband, Mike Goldberg. It was a cozy, feel-good true-crime story that turned into a messy legal
situation with a jagged paper trail of court records. This teenager had run to Kaitlyn and Mike’s
household due to poor living conditions in her own home, so she was ultimately placed under
child protective services, and charges against the Goldbergs were consequently dropped. I asked
our friend Principal Cook about it.
DENVER
What was the girl’s name?
PRINCIPAL
That was Stephanie Horowitz.
DENVER [narrator]
So the teenager’s name was Stephanie Horowitz. This is technically a kidnapping that the
24

Goldbergs were involved in. But I have no evidence yet that they kidnapped Jeremy. In fact, no
infants were reported missing in the Roslyn area the month that Jeremy was born. I’m trying to
figure out where he came from. And then the others show up. And I’m suddenly an adoptive
father myself, with four children, one of whom is in his 50s and balding.
Denver presses the crash bar of a door. Everyone walks in.
BOBBY/EMMA/BOO
School! School!
DENVER
You’re amazingly late!
BOBBY
I cannot believe that we are here in the summer!
EMMA
Wahoo! This is creeeeepy.
BOO
Denver. I’m here.
SHADOWMOON
So! Let’s summon Logan Goldberg, baby!
DENVER [narrator]
At the start of every day, I remind myself that today could be difficult, today could be trying, and
25

I’m prepared to be scared and overwhelmed. Everything is always worth a try, and a try— a try
is worth your confidence.
SHADOWMOON
Oh, by the way! I meant to ask this earlier. Who’s gonna switch bodies with Logan?
BOO / BOBBY / DENVER
What?
DENVER [narrator]
Here we go again.
26

WHO KILLED ALASKA?
#24 - THE ADVENTURES: SWITCHING FLIPS
TRANSCRIPT
written by
27

THEME SONG
BOO
Previously on Who Killed Alaska!
REFRESHER MONTAGE
DENVER [narrator / clip - WKA24]
This is Episode 24: “Switching Flips.” This episode is about the secondary instant at which a flip
is switched.
Switching Flips.
Switching Flips.
And then the others show up. And I’m suddenly an adoptive father myself, with four children,
one of whom is in his 50s and balding.
B
B
Balding.
Switching Flips.
28

At which a flip is switched.
Switching Flips.
Switching Flips.
Switching Flips.
Switching Flips.
Switching Flips.
At which a flip is switched.
THEME SONG ENDS
BOO
And now, it’s time for the new episode! Welcome back, bud! This is Who Killed Alaska: The
Adventures!
29

JONES BEACH.
Fireworks. Ocean waves.
BOBBY
It feels like it should be mathematically impossible that we’re all still alive. I mean how much
crazy stuff has happened? Like we’re talking one, two, three…
BOO
Fireworks are kind of incredible. I’m a big fan of destruction.
BOBBY
What if we wear our old uniforms into the school tomorrow?
BOO
Yeah, I’ll do it.
EMMA
Every time I have a fever or take PCP I get a recurring nightmare where a hot man serves me
branded Hello Kitty cookies, but then I realize I’m in my school uniform which makes me
remember I have a test to take.
BOO
Conquer your fears.
EMMA
Mmmmm you’re right. I’ll do it! Every day, I’m more normal.
BOO
Kinda.
30

EMMA
Tomorrow, we’re gonna see Logan again.
BOO
Yeah. Soon, our story will end. I’m perfectly happy with that.
EMMA
Do you also want to see Logan again tomorrow?
BOO
If there’s this little person within me that still wants to see Logan again, then I just need to kill
that Boo and add him to the piles of collaterals.
EMMA
Bobby, don’t leave.
BOBBY
I, I just need some Bobby time.
BOO
Did you know they didn’t use time in the middle ages? They only cared about weather and the
apocalypse.
EMMA
I see.
31

OUTSIDE.
EMMA
School!
BOO / EMMA / BOBBY
School! School! School! School! School! School!
BOBBY
Schoo—
Door opens. Everybody enters.
DENVER
You’re amazingly late!
BOBBY
I cannot believe that we are here in the summer!
EMMA
Wahoo! This is creeeeepy.
BOO
Denver. I’m here.
SHADOWMOON
So! Let’s summon Logan Goldberg, baby! Are there people in this building? Humans?
32

DENVER
Uh, we’re very far from administration. They were doing an event on the opposite side of the
school.
SHADOWMOON
Great!
DENVER
And from talking to people, I got the sense
that they don’t or can’t check security
footage, so we’re set there.
SHADOWMOON
Oh, great, yes. Fantastic.
DENVER
Yeah.
SHADOWMOON
Ok— Let me find my esoteric Notes App notes! OooOooOooh! Give me a secoooond!
SHADOWMOON
(singing) Body swappin’, body swappin’,
where are my body swappin’notes? Body
swappin’notes, body swappin’notes
EMMA
Detective Denver. How’s it goin’?
DENVER
Fine thanks.
BOO
How’s it goin’?
DENVER
(angrily) It’s alright!
33

SHADOWMOON
(singing) We’re gonna do a body swaaaap!
Body swappin’! Body swappin’! Body
swappin’!
EMMA
No! No, Denver! How’s it goin’?
BOO
Emma. How’s it goin’?
EMMA
(whispering) You’re gonna ruin my rizz! I’m being saucy!
BOBBY
How’s it goin’!
BOO
Do you know what’s going on?
BOBBY
Friendship.
SHADOWMOON
Oh! By the way! I forgot to mention this earlier. Who’s gonna switch bodies with Logan?
BOO / BOBBY / DENVER
What?
BOBBY
I blacked out. What?
EMMA
I also blacked out.
34

DENVER
Jesus.
BOO
Get a therapist.
BOBBY
Woah!
35

AD BREAK
HOST
Who Killed Alaska? will be ending in about half a year from now. This is a project that started in
2021, and it took a lot of love and sweat from a lot of people to bring it to where it is right now,
finally coming to an end in 2025. I wanna take a sec to talk about some of the things that aren’t
going to be available after Who Killed Alaska? ends. When the show ends, parts of our Patreon
will become obsolete. Higher tiers will disappear. And then parts of the Patreon will exist for a
couple months, and then it’ll be gone forever.
I really like a lot of the stuff on our Patreon, and if you like this show, you’ll probably
like it too. There are bloopers, there are bonus scenes, there are two bonus episodes, and we have
videos of the cast reacting to episodes of the show. You can feel free to try it out and if you don’t
like it, y’know, go ahead and cancel. It’ll be $5, scroll around, check out the offerings, see what
you like, see what you’re not into, and if you decide this is not for you, then, cancel it, y’know?
Okay, here’s what I really recommend. If you pay $10, you can play all of our puzzle
games on Patreon, and then you can just cancel or downgrade by the end of the month. This is—
okay, so the puzzles are really hard to explain and impossible to market so hear me out. This is
kind of an unmarketable thing here, but the puzzles that we made for the show are called Clue
Adventures. When you solve the puzzle, you get some kind of really cool secret about a person
or about the mystery itself. The idea was to make Who Killed Alaska? feel interactive, like it’s
not just something in your ears, but something you can see and touch through your screen. So, if
you solve Clue Adventure #3, you get access to the Long Island Occult Club’s forum, which is a
totally fictional website that exists only in the WKA world. And all of the characters on the
36

forum have usernames ranging from Lily Annabel to itsmebigfoot, and they’re talking about
ghosts and the Devil’s Throat cave, and also their website just looks awful, and it’s, it’s
wonderful and… you can scroll through the different pages and see what there is to see. In
another clue adventure, you solve some really cool match puzzles for Boo’s reflection. And then
you see what he has to say! You can find all of that on Patreon.com/WhoKilledAlaska. If you
want to do just the puzzles and dip out, that’s $10, which is cheaper than the average movie
ticket, and when you’re done with them, you could just cancel. So! Just make sure you cancel
before the end of the month if you wanna do it that way. But if you want to sponsor the show,
you can start as low as $5, you can donate as much as you like, and for $5, you’ll get loads of
new content. But just remember that the puzzles are going to stop being fun pretty soon.
Probably the most fun way to experience Who Killed Alaska is to play the puzzles while the
show is coming out— you can’t really listen to the show and then play the puzzles, so because of
that, the puzzles are not gonna be fun for long, and they’re definitely going to be taken down at
some point or another. I know it sucks to have any kind of content behind like a paywall. I don’t
like doing that. We are really careful about what we offer for money and what we offer for free.
But people work really hard on this.
Once again, to get to our Patreon, it is Patreon.com/WhoKilledAlaska. And that is now in
the description even for people in different podcasting apps. It’s in the description for sure.
Alright. This time, to thank all of patrons, we’re gonna get a thank you from the one and only
Cornflour Acoustic Monolith Ward. Play us out!
CORNFLOUR ACOUSTIC MONOLITH WARD
Thank you to Ben Walter,
37

Shep, and Nicole Collard
And Bountsy
Thank you so to Kelly Brennan,
And Katrina Redman,
And to August Ure,
And Defense Squad of Jupiter
CJ Taylor Caldwell
LivinLuxuriouslySelena
Lukas King, and Shoshi, Bina,
Happidragon, Grinleysspa,
MuricanPye, Emma, Sarah
Criminal Frog, Ash, MishaWarlock, annnnd, MIC DROP!
38

SHADOWMOON
Uh, who is going to switch bodies with Logan?
EMMA / BOBBY
What?
BOBBY
I was not aware that there was any kind of existing magic that could do something that sinister.
But I’d like to do it!
EMMA
Bobby?
SHADOWMOON
Great! Let’s begin. Step 1. Everyone take a pen and write your name on the back of your hand.
Shadowmoon hands out Sharpies.
BOO
I’m not interested.
SHADOWMOON
And I will absolutely have Boo Curtis write his name too! Because this will protect him and
others from getting consumed by Logan or Bobby when they lose their bodies.
Boo exhales and takes one.
39

SHADOWMOON
First and last, folks! Write your full name! Next, we’re going to find a location Logan remembers
often. I asked Emma to bring me an object that Logan cared about significantly. Um.
EMMA
I brought his mug.
SHADOWMOON
What object did you bring? Oh! Lovely.
EMMA
He let me borrow his panda mug. He liked it because, the panda is upside down until you go
bottoms up.
SHADOWMOON
Oohhhh, this is particularly good, Emma, because it has a handlllle! If you’re completely foolish,
anything can become a dowsing pendulum, and I am on, just, so many drugs!
EMMA
Wow! Drugs!
Everyone starts walking.
SHADOWMOON
Mmmmm. Step 2! Use Logan’s mug as a pendulum and follow it! People like Alaska could
experience people’s memories by giving their belongings a— boop! A touch.
BOO
They didn’t know that.
40

SHADOWMOON
I have no such ability, but I am a fancy man with fancy fingers, so I can follow its swinging and
we are going to follow the direction that the mug is swinging in. A completely neutral balancing
position is required. I do not recommend attempting this on one’s own.
DENVER
Is it getting darker?
BOBBY
No. Uh. I don’t know.
BOO
It’s bad fluorescents.
SHADOWMOON
Here. Over here. By this locker.
They stop walking.
SHADOWMOON
One of Logan’s most emotional memories is in this area. Really, really strong. Strangely strong,
actually. Ohhh my. Something large. Something huge.
Mug falls and shatters.
Emma gasps.
41

SHADOWMOON
Uh oh.
BOBBY
We’ll get him a new mug!
EMMA
Oh— what’s the next step in the summoning?
SHADOWMOON
Uh. Step 3! I am going to speak to whoever is swapping with Logan, and it sounds like Bobby
will be doing so.
EMMA
Is this safe?
BOBBY
Guys. I can do this.
DENVER
Can he get hurt?
SHADOWMOON
Oh, no! No, we’re going to be booting souls
out of bodies. But, we’ll worry about that
later.
BOBBY
I would like to ask a few questions before I say yes to this.
SHADOWMOON
As you SHOULD!
42

BOBBY
Okay so I would guess that the location of our bodies is not going to change. So, just, will I be in
Logan’s body in the holding cell?
SHADOWMOON
That is CORRECT!
BOBBY
And he’ll be in my body here?
SHADOWMOON
Also CORRECT!
BOBBY
Can he hurt me?
SHADOWMOON
Not if I MANUALLY STOP YOUR BODY FROM PUNCHING ITSELF!
BOBBY
Can I take this?
BOO
We don’t need you to.
DENVER
We don’t have to do this.
BOBBY
Guys. I’m going to see through the eyes of the killer. I can see what makes him tick. I’ll take
mental notes, I’ll, maybe I’ll even figure this out!
43

BOO
Okay but we won’t ever hear your notes if something goes wrong.
EMMA
Uggghhhh do it! Just do it! We’re taking too much time, just do it!
SHADOWMOON
Bobby. I’m going to whisper to you. Outsiders, cover your ears.
Shadowmoon whispers.
SHADOWMOON
(now aloud) In that direction.
BOBBY
Ok.
SHADOWMOON
Three! Two! One! Go!
Wind. A storm.
DENVER
Shit!
The storm dissipates.
44

BOBBY (LOGAN)
I—
SHADOWMOON
Logan? Is that you?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Wh—
EMMA
You’re looking at your hand. It’s a prosthetic now.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Nn-nn! Nn-nn!
SHADOWMOON
It’s good to see you again, Logan. You are now in Bobby’s body.
Bobby (Logan) laughs. And laughs. And laughs.
EMMA
Logan! Hi! Is that you?
DENVER
What happened? What went wro— what went wrong with the ritual?
SHADOWMOON
Oh, no-nothing wrent wrong! This is Logan. He is, uh, laughing at us.
45

EMMA
What are you doing? Why are you laughing? Every time I visit him now, he doesn’t say
anything! His parents talk to him and the police talk to him and he doesn’t say anything!
BOO
He’s not insane. This is just an act.
He stops laughing.
DENVER
Okay! Jeremy! Why was there a corpse at your house?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Just an inside joke.
EMMA
What?
DENVER
How about your parents? Were you…
kidnapped?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
What an interesting voice. How should—
(British accent) How would I talk in su—?
DENVER
Jeremy?
46

BOBBY (LOGAN)
Ah. Check one-two. One-two. One two three four. This is… Give it the, give it the one-two. God
as my— God as my— In-ter-est-ing.
EMMA
Uh. Logan.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Uh. Emma, you fucked up, dude. “Everything’s just a joke for an audience you can’t even see”
was supposed to be my last words. Now you got me talking— you messed it all up!
EMMA
I’m sorry.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
You should be!
Bobby (Logan) laughs.
EMMA
Logan. Why was his corpse in your house?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Obviously, this wasn’t my fault! That’s why I screamed when you found it! I was shocked! I
went ahhhh!
DENVER
How long did you know about the corpse?
47

EMMA
Did you know about it?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Is, uh, is Jo here somewhere?
EMMA
No?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Then no! I had no idea it was there!
BOO
Get him out.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Aw, Boo, no! I was just joking around! We were having fun! My love, embrace me! What did—
what did I just step on?
EMMA
Someone broke your mug.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
Why does it hurt?
BOO
It shouldn’t.
SHADOWMOON
You’re— Logan, you’re trying to use Bobby’s brain and muscles as if they’re your own. Try to
relax your body.
48

BOBBY (LOGAN)
No, no, I hate this! What is this?
SHADOWMOON
Hey, your grip on his brain is loose, so be careful.
BOBBY (LOGAN)
This is what pain feels like? This hurts! This HURTS! GOD— AH— GOD!
SHADOWMOON
He’s panicking! He’s not used to the brain, he’s gonna lose his grip and get sent back!
DENVER
Wait, wait! Wait! Jeremy! You’re always giving hints! Now give us a hint! I can hear you!
BOBBY (LOGAN)
The Estates Doll Face! (laughs) I didn’t do anything!
Storm takes over. Everything tumbles. Rattles.
It’s gone. Bobby screams.
SHADOWMOON
Bobby! Bobby! Bobby. Bobby.
EMMA
Bobby?
SHADOWMOON
This, this is Bobby.
49

EMMA
What can I do? What can I do?
BOBBY
JUST GO AWAY!
EMMA
What?
BOBBY
I need to be alone! Go away!
BOO
Give him space.
BOBBY
It’s all gonna… Mmmmmm…
DENVER
He’s trying to hypnotize himself— DROP THAT NECKLACE!
EMMA
Bobby! Why are you trying to hypnotize yourself!?
BOBBY
Just give it to me!
EMMA
You were getting information! What are you doing!?
BOBBY
Give me the necklace! I need to re-re— I need to relax! I’m hypno-hypnotizing it all away!
50

SHADOWMOON
Oh dear.
BOBBY
(crying) It has to go away! Give me Bobby time! GO AWAY!
EMMA
THAT HURT!
All movement stops.
EMMA
STOP IT!
DENVER
What are you trying to forget?
BOBBY
I will chop off your head and eat it, Detective!
BOO
Oh fuck.
BOBBY
I’ll plate it. I’ll eat it. I don’t care.
DENVER
The fuck.
DENVER
You’re not scaring me, Bobby, you’re NOT
SCARING ME! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO FORGET?
51

BOBBY
I WILL EAT YOU! I WILL EAT YOU,
DETECTIVE! I WILL CANNIBALIZE
YOU!
EMMA
What’s happening!? What’s happening!?
BOO
You’re gonna eat him because he asked you a question!?
BOBBY
I’MGONNAEATHIMBECAUSEHEASKED
MEAQUESTION! LEAVE ME ALONE!
SHADOWMOON
His self is straining! He’s going through a
kind of emotional seizure! I think! He’s
putting all his energy into re-attaching to his
brain!
EMMA
Is this not Bobby!?
SHADOWMOON
No, it is Bobby! He’s exerting himself too much! His self is straining! Lie down!
BOBBY
I will cut your skin into pasta!
EMMA / BOO
BOBBY!
BOBBY
And I will eat you!
52

SHADOWMOON
Oh! God! Does anybody have food?
EMMA
There’s a vending machine in the cafeteria!
SHADOWMOON
Get him food! If he can’t stop straining, he
needs sustenance! He needs to get through
this!
DENVER
Bobby, try to lie down!
BOBBY
Give me necklace! Ne-necklace!
EMMA
Let’s, let’s go!
SHADOWMOON
We’ll watch him!
DENVER
Shall I hold him down?
SHADOWMOON
Not yet! Emma, go!
Emma starts running.
IN ANOTHER HALLWAY.
Boo is running to Emma. Emma is breathing heavily.
53

BOO
Emma! Are you okay?
EMMA
Uh.
BOO
I’m sorry. Um. Here, have some water.
He hands her a water bottle. She drinks.
BOO
I’ll walk with you. Let’s get Bobby something to eat.
EMMA
Okay. Truce.
BOO
For what?
EMMA
That, that was a thought that slipped into my mouth. We should run.
BOO
Hey, I think we’re ok. They seemed ok when I left. Let’s just walk.
EMMA
(small) Okay.
54

BOO
Is the cafeteria on the left?
EMMA
It’s this way. Boo, I don’t get it. Was that Bobby?
BOO
That was Bobby.
EMMA
No, I mean— was he aware of himself? Was he in control for any of that?
BOO
We can’t know.
Pause.
EMMA
There has to be something I can do. For Bobby. For Logan. I guess I could try to figure out
Logan’s hint.
BOO
You mean when Logan mentioned the Estates Doll Face? I was just thinking about that myself.
This is a problem for me.
EMMA
Boo, there has to be something I can do.
55

BOO
The Estates Doll Face is a serial killer that probably lives in Roslyn Estates. In a stroke of bad
luck, Denver asked me if it was me; three days ago.
EMMA
Oh.
BOO
The Estates Doll Face is supposed to be an extremely good-looking man— like someone we
know. It was a survivor who said the Doll Face was good-looking.
EMMA
They didn’t catch him, even though there was a survivor who saw him?
BOO
She was drugged with something like GHB. She didn’t even remember saying he was good-
looking. She was okay, though. Wow, it’s bright.
EMMA
I found a quote from the survivor. This website’s really reliable.
BOO
Okay?
EMMA
The survivor said that the Estates Doll Face “had a gorgeous look.” That doesn’t sound like you.
Boo laughs.
56

CAFETERIA.
EMMA
Did they make this room bigger?
BOO
It does look big when they squish the chairs together.
EMMA
No, no, but really, a “gorgeous look” is like… clothes. Gorgeous-looking is your face, your face,
but if she said he had a gorgeous look, that means he had nice clothes on. Do you want change?
BOO
No. Hold on. I’m getting distracted.
Boo inserts coins in the vending machine. Presses buttons.
EMMA
Oh. Oh shit. Oh no. I solved it. (pause) Wait, actually, ok, we’re good. Bobby’s fashion is too
cool and badass for people to call it gorgeous. And… it’s not you. Um. Wait! Wait! I got it! What
if Logan’s dad is the Estates Doll Face? ‘Cause, you know, he owns a clothing store!
BOO
That would explain a lot about Logan, but uh. Listen, the victim was probably just high. I say
things pretty weird when I’m high. That quote could mean anything.
EMMA
That’s true. She was on GHB?
57

BOO
It is such a problem that Logan said “Estates Doll Face.” Ridiculous. Denver’s gonna take that as
a clue. He really trusts Logan right now, because he’s decided that Logan is a vulnerable
individual. In some ways, he trusts Logan much more than he trusts me.
EMMA
Mm. (mumbling) Logan didn’t do it.
BOO
What’s up?
EMMA
I didn’t say anything.
DENVER [narrator]
Anyway.
58

WHO KILLED ALASKA?
#24 - DETECTIVE FILES: SWITCHING FLIPS
TRANSCRIPT
written by
59

THEME SONG STARTS
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files, an original series by The Ghost Factory. This is
once again Episode 24: “Switching Flips.” This episode is about the secondary instant at which a
flip is switched. Welcome to the Detective Files. Welcome to the truth.
THEME SONG ENDS
60

DENVER
How about your parents? Were you…
kidnapped?
BOBBY (LOGAN)
What an interesting voice. How should—
(British accent) How would I talk in su—?
DENVER
Jeremy?
DENVER [narrator]
Finally. I’m talking to Jeremy.
DENVER
Wait, wait! Wait! Jeremy! You’re always giving hints! Now give us a hint! I can hear you!
BOBBY (LOGAN)
The Estates Doll Face! (laughs) I didn’t do anything!
DENVER [narrator]
The Estates Doll Face is a serial killer on Long Island. Maybe we’re dealing with a serial killer.
That would make Alaska’s death impersonal. Alaska’s murder was messy, but maybe the killer
was feigning inexperience. More importantly, this is the Estates Doll Face we’re talking about—
a killer with a quote-unquote “gorgeous look.” If I know a man like that, it’s Boo. I need to be
very, very careful around him.
Winds. A storm.
61

DENVER [narrator]
Some Doll Face patterns match with Alaska’s case. Some things don’t. The Estates Doll Face has
disposed of two corpses without arms, not unlike Alaska’s corpse. But the Doll Face usually
kills… girls.
Bobby screams.
EMMA
Bobby!
SHADOWMOON
This is Bobby.
Emma rushes over to Bobby. Others approach as well.
EMMA
What can I do? What can I do?
BOBBY
JUST GO AWAY!
EMMA
What?
BOBBY
I need to be alone! Go away!
62

BOO
Give him space.
DENVER [narrator]
Once Bobby gets back, he goes into a panic.
BOBBY
I’LL EAT YOU! I WILL EAT YOU,
DETECTIVE! I WILL CANNIBALIZE
YOU!
EMMA
What’s happening!? What’s happening!?
DENVER [narrator]
Bobby looks weak, and he is. He literally lived his early childhood completely inside. He has
dark circles left over from a traumatic deficiency of vitamin D in his growing years. I could fight
ten Bobbys but I shouldn’t fight one. His hands are forward but but his shoulders are back. It
looks like restraint. He’s plucky enough to try but lucid enough to know he’s being watched by
too many people. These are the thoughts floating through my mind.
DENVER
Bobby, try to lie down!
SHADOWMOON
Get him food! If he can’t stop straining, he
needs sustenance! He needs to get through
this!
BOBBY
Give me necklace! Ne-necklace!
EMMA
Let’s, let’s go!
63

SHADOWMOON
We’ll watch him!
DENVER
Shall I hold him down?
SHADOWMOON
Not yet! Emma, go!
Emma runs.
DENVER
If you move too—
BOBBY
AND I’LL EAT YOU! I’LL DEVOUR YOU!
DENVER
It’s going to choke you! Your necklace is going to choke you if you keep moving! I’m not letting
go. I’ll let it happen.
BOBBY
Just please stop! You are choking me!
DENVER
No. No, you’re choking yourself.
SHADOWMOON
Bobby, listen carefully to Denver, and listen to me.
64

Boo coughs.
BOO
Goodness.
SHADOWMOON
You need to lie down. You are flexing parts of your sense of self that haven’t been strained
before. You need to lie down, and then you need to eat.
BOBBY
He’s gonna choke me if I lie down.
SHADOWMOON
He is not going to choke you, Bobby. Both of you are too cute to choke anybody.
BOBBY
That’s not very convincing.
SHADOWMOON
Are you tired?
BOBBY
No.
DENVER [narrator]
Boo’s watching us. He’s behind me. I don’t like him behind my back. But I know some things
about Boo.
DENVER
Boo.
65

BOO
What?
DENVER
You need to go with Emma.
DENVER [narrator]
I don’t think he’s a danger to his friends.
BOO
Are you sure you aren’t gonna, um… miss me?
DENVER
Your bullying is flattering but save it for later.
BOO
Fine. You’re right. If Bobby dies— well, I won’t spoil the ending.
DENVER [narrator]
I don’t like that.
SHADOWMOON
Ooh!
DENVER
Let’s get him somewhere cleaner to lie down. Like a— like a teacher’s desk would be good.
SHADOWMOON
Denver, can you carry him?
DENVER
Sure.
66

Denver picks him up.
BOBBY
UAH!—
DENVER [narrator]
We bring Bobby into the empty classroom.
CLASSROOM.
DENVER
He fell asleep pretty fast. (pause) I should’ve asked Logan more about his parents.
SHADOWMOON
Mm. Hindsight’s 20/20.
DENVER [narrator]
And whether he’s related to both of them.
DENVER
I mean, I asked, but, I should’ve pushed, I could’ve harder. I dunno, maybe, he didn’t hear me.
SHADOWMOON
Logan is bad at hearing people.
DENVER
That might be true.
Pause.
67

SHADOWMOON
Was Bobby your friend?
DENVER
I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of friends.
SHADOWMOON
Huh! That’s weird.
DENVER
Sorry?
SHADOWMOON
You’re likable.
DENVER
I don’t like most people.
SHADOWMOON
Really! Mmmmm, so you’re good at hiding things.
DENVER
I feel like you’re telling me my fortune already.
SHADOWMOON
You know me! Why did you want to be Bobby’s friend?
DENVER
Oof. Well, first of all, he was an intern. He ended up acting as my assistant. It’s just how things
happened. I decided I wanted to be friends with Bobby. I dunno, I just wasn’t comfortable with
the hierarchy of being someone’s boss.
68

SHADOWMOON
That makes sense. You’re young.
DENVER
Then I felt like he was my grandpa, kind of, and I was peaking out from my cubicle to watch
Bobby’s antics, because somebody was always yelling at him, and, and, there he was, just taking
it, like champ, y’know? When I moved into an office next to his work station, he started bringing
me tomatoes with dead leaves that he grew on his windowsill.
SHADOWMOON
He was above you and below you in life. He was both. That made you uncomfortable.
DENVER
Ooh. I have never heard a phrase like that before. I’m gonna write that down. That’s, that’s good.
Yeah. I haven’t seen this person in a while, and, I’ve just been feeling so bad for him. Y’know?
Actually, y’know what, he would actually find it strange that I’ve been defending him so much,
so, never mind.
SHADOWMOON
Oh! This is why you don’t have any friends! (pause) You like weird people. Weird weird people.
What’s wrong with your officemates now?
DENVER
Ahhh. They’re, um. Boring.
SHADOWMOON
Yeah. You like weird people! I see now why you gravitate to Outsiders so much.
69

DENVER
What makes you say I gravitate to Outsiders?
SHADOWMOON
Well, you’re here, aren’t you? And uh. Nobody else is. (pause) Now, Denver, it’s just you. Just
you and the Outsiders. In a pact that no one can touch… until the story ends.
Pause.
SHADOWMOON
But! It’s not over yet. In fact, the story is right outside this door! Let’s open it, then. Let’s let the
story in. Where it takes us, let us follow.
Shadowmoon opens the door.
SHADOWMOON
Hello! We moved in here!
BOO
Hey.
EMMA
Hey. We have snacks for Bobby.
SHADOWMOON
Good. Close the door.
70

Bobby is groaning.
SHADOWMOON
Are you awake, Bobby? Would you like some food from a vending machine?
BOBBY
I saw— I saw his memories.
SHADOWMOON
You saw Logan’s memories?
Boo’s breath catches.
BOBBY
There was a student who put him in a locker. Like at Holy Cross.
EMMA
Who?
BOBBY
I don’t know. That, that, that’s all I could remember: a student here put him in a locker.
SHADOWMOON
You shouldn’t have seen Logan’s memories at all. You’re not Logan.
BOBBY
Yeah but I remembered it. And it makes him— it makes him so angry, and it makes him afraid.
71

BOO
Like the locker we did the ritual in front of. He had a memory that was so emotional that the
pendulum broke.
SHADOWMOON
The mug swung off my hand and shattered. Let’s go to it.
DENVER [narrator]
We all stand in front of the locker, and Bobby leans on Boo.
HALLWAY.
EMMA
So somebody shoved him in this locker?
BOBBY
Yes they put him in this locker. Put.
DENVER
This goes without saying but this is too small for any person.
EMMA
If he—
DENVER
Alright someone’s head could be shoved in, but you couldn’t “put” an entire person in a locker
like this.
EMMA
What if Logan was little when they put him in the locker?
72

BOO
I think this was just another trick from Logan.
BOBBY
It’s not a trick! Like he remembers it— I remember it!
BOO
Shadowmoon said you weren’t supposed to remember anything.
SHADOWMOON
Yeah, for sure.
BOBBY
No, no, guys, you’re not listening, this was a
— it’s a real thing!
BOO
Nobody’s small enough to fit in these.
EMMA
What if he was little?
BOO
I don’t think there’s a shrinking ritual.
EMMA
I’m saying Logan was a baby.
BOO
Logan wasn’t enrolled as a baby.
EMMA
Yeah?
73

DENVER
Let’s move on.
BOBBY
Logan wouldn’t remember that.
EMMA
Logan remembers everything.
Pause.
EMMA
I was always watching Logan in math class. Were you ever in math class with Logan?
BOBBY
No?
BOO
No.
EMMA
Mrs. Walsh asked him long math problems every day, and he would go, “Oh, it’s,” uhh,
“42,000,420.”
BOO
Boooo.
EMMA
It was an example! Shut up. It was an example. Logan got it right, though— mostly. When it
wasn’t in the textbook, he didn’t know. When he got it right, it was an answer that was in the
textbook or something.
74

BOO
Because he remembered the answer.
EMMA
Yeah.
DENVER
Now that’s good. That’s good even for a photographic memory.
EMMA
But when he got it right, he didn’t think about it, he said it right away, and he didn’t write
anything down. And sometimes he got in trouble cause he didn’t show his work.
DENVER
Maybe he didn’t develop the part of the brain that handles math equations. If you get to rely on
your photographic memory that much… well, I can imagine he never had to develop a lot of
skills.
BOO
That has nothing to do with…
SHADOWMOON
Ohhh, I see what’s happening. Let’s all sit
down.
They sit.
SHADOWMOON
Now an Outsider has something I call a wick.
75

EMMA
What’s a wick?
BOO
Thing on a candle.
EMMA
Shut up.
SHADOWMOON
I call it a wick because it starts fires. Now “Outsider” is a broad term for any person who isn’t
human, but there are as many kinds of Outsiders as there are Outsiders. One Outsider might be
able to see people’s feelings, another Outsider might have peripheral vision that extends to their
back and to their sides, where their eyes can’t see. Whatever the wick’s rule is, an Outsider’s
wick is alarmingly consistent. When Logan left his body, his memories should have gone with
him. But Logan’s rule is apparently the following: “I will always remember.” Or, alternatively: “I
can never forget.” A magic is a truth of complete consistency. A wick is, eh, something like that;
a rule of complete truth.
BOO
Did we say something incorrect?
SHADOWMOON
Huh?
BOO
You talk like this when I’m wrong.
76

SHADOWMOON
Oh, I divined a misunderstanding from the look on Boo Curtis’s face. Logan has never forgotten
anything. Anything. Since he was a baby.
DENVER
Uh oh.
EMMA
What?
DENVER
Oh shit.
EMMA / BOBBY / BOO / SHADOWMOON
What?
DENVER
Oh no. I get it. I have to go. I have to go find Jeremy’s real mother.
Boo grabs Denver.
DENVER
Hello?
BOO
Are you saying that wasn’t a joke?
DENVER
You gotta let go of me or I’m gonna fucking yell.
77

DENVER [narrator]
This all reminds me of a of a weird joke Jeremy told a long time ago. Jeremy’s said it all before
— in a fucking ad break.
LOGAN [clip - WKA6 ad]
When I was a week old, my mom abandoned me in a locker for three days with no food or water!
DENVER [narrator]
And I forgot about that part because I’ve only heard it once, because I always! Skip! The ads!
Denver gets up, walks out.
BOO
Where are you going?
DENVER
Research.
DENVER [narrator]
In 2001, a teenager named Stephanie Horowitz was attending Holy Cross High School. She ran
away from home.
DENVER’S HOUSE.
DENVER
I’m looking now for Stephanie Horowitz online. Everybody at home, please cross your fingers
for me.
78

Denver types and clicks.
DENVER [narrator]
That teenage girl stayed with the school custodian, Kaitlyn Goldberg, along with Kaitlyn’s
husband, Mike Goldberg. That child returned to school nine months later.
DENVER
Where is Stephanie?
DENVER [narrator]
She was tormented, and very young, and not thinking clearly, so in her backpack, she had an
infant. That was Jeremy, and Jeremy was hers. Jeremy’s father is and has always been Mike
Goldberg— a predator.
The teenager brought Jeremy into school and left him in her locker. She would’ve been
taken in for questioning, having appeared after a nine-month disappearance. It would’ve been
hard for her to go back to school, so she left Jeremy in the locker for several highly traumatic
days that he still remembers. Eventually, Kaitlyn and Mike would’ve taken Jeremy in. The baby
was related to Mike, but not to Kaitlyn. His birth certificate had to be faked. He’s never left the
country. All he has to show is fake IDs.
DENVER
I found her. (pause) Stephanie Horowitz. Stephanie Horowitz…
DENVER [narrator]
All I find of Stephanie Horowitz online is her face. This is enough; I realize at once that I know
her already.
79

DENVER’S CAR.
JO
Where are we going?
DENVER
You know where. I need a lie detector.
OUTSIDE FUNERAL HOME.
Jo kicks the door repeatedly.
JO
HEY!
DENVER
Let us in.
THE MORTICIAN [speaker phone]
Why?
DENVER
We’re here to talk about Jeremy Goldberg.
DENVER [narrator]
Stephanie Horowitz will just have to tell me herself what I got right, and what I didn’t.
Door’s lock clicks. It’s unlocked.
80

DENVER [narrator]
Stephanie Horowitz is the Mortician. It is only now that I know her name.
FUNERAL HOME.
DENVER
Stephanie Horowitz. Are you the biological mother of Jeremy Goldberg?
Pause.
THE MORTICIAN
That’s strange.
DENVER
Tell us what’s going on.
Pause.
THE MORTICIAN
When I met him, I thought Mike and I were two halves of one person.
DENVER
How old were you?
81

THE MORTICIAN
I don’t remember. I was old enough to understand manipulation. But since Jeremy is alive, I
won’t get in trouble, will I?
DENVER
Did you try to kill him?
THE MORTICIAN
Yes. On the day I let people find me, I tried to kill him. I gave him some benadryl and then I
taped his mouth shut. And when he slept, I put him in a backpack that belonged to Mike and I
brought him into school in it. Then I left him in a locker. I thought he’d die in there, and if people
figured it out, I could pretend I didn’t mean to kill him. But I guess Kaitlyn found him. She was a
custodian. She had keys to every locker. But I didn’t know she’d look.
DENVER [narrator]
This is the same world that we all live in. I just— I, I can’t understand that.
THE MORTICIAN
When I visited them again, I heard them calling: “Jeremy.” That was his name. If I saw him now,
I would love him.
DENVER [narrator]
Jo’s thumb is limp, so I know it’s all true.
DENVER
Do you know what happened to the body of Alaska Curtis?
82

THE MORTICIAN
Yes. (pause) I embalmed it when Mike asked for it. I gave it to him because I love him. I think I
would feel love for him, if he was in the room.
DENVER [narrator]
I’ve believed that everyone is born out of love. Somebody cared, somebody wanted. If I’d told
that to Jeremy, he’d laugh. And he’d tell me that that was a good joke.
DENVER’S HOUSE.
DENVER
Jeremy. You understand this is your one phone call.
LOGAN [speaker phone]
Denver. I’ve been thinking. Maybe when I get out of here, I’ll go into business after all. Maybe
I’ll stop being Ethel Smyth, and get a real job.
DENVER
Sorry. I was waiting for the punchline.
Logan laughs.
I just thought that would make very, very sad last words.
Logan laughs.
83

DENVER
Who are your parents?
Logan laughs.
Whose parents?
Logan laughs.
(Alaska voice) Do you mean Alaska’s parents?
Logan laughs.
(Ethel voice) Do you mean Ethel’s parents?
Logan laughs.
Do you mean Logan’s parents?
84

DENVER
I mean Logan’s parents.
My parents are great. My dad taught me how to ride a bike. Chasing him around the house is
why I’m so fast— track and field, baby!
DENVER
Wait. Wait. Then who are you?
I’m Logan.
DENVER
Who are you?
Now that’s a good joke.
Logan laughs.
DENVER
No, I mean, who are you when you’re not Logan?
I’m always Logan.
DENVER
Who are you when you’re not being Alaska?
85

I’m always Alaska?
DENVER
Who are Jeremy’s parents?
Logan laughs. And laughs. And laughs.
I didn’t ask for the corpse. My dad gave me the corpse as a present, but I didn’t ask for it. He
said he knew the mortician really well. He said it was good luck because the body went to the
right place.
DENVER
Jeremy. Who is he? Who is your dad?
Jeremy’s father, he, he makes puppets— but. No. Never mind— ssstupid.
DENVER
No no no. Keep going. He makes puppets?
I was, I was going to tell a joke.
DENVER
What’s the joke? I liked it. I wanna hear.
86

It’s, it’s kind of forced— okay, I’ll tell you. Uh. Get ready. This is my tight five— my, my tight
one. My, my tight thirty seconds. Here we go. Jeremy’s dad was a puppet-maker, and he made
puppets of people he missed. One day, he wanted a new puppet, so he made one of somebody he
didn’t miss, somebody who didn’t exist, called Jeremy. The other puppets were real people who
were turned into toys, but Jeremy was never a real person, so he was the only real puppet. If his
dad is the puppet-maker, and he’s the puppet, then which one should I call Doll Face?
Logan laughs.
I’m sorry. Lately, when I tell jokes, nobody laughs. I need the audience to laugh at me, or there’s,
there’s, well there’s no point, right? You… You have to laugh.
Logan chuckles.
Can you hear me?
Quiet.
87

Can you hear me? Am I making sound? I, I can’t tell. I must not be talking. Help. Help me.
HELP ME! HELP ME! JUST HELP ME! HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
DENVER
I can hear you.
Quiet.
DENVER [narrator]
I offer up what I know to the police. Soon after, Jeremy is released, and his parents are
transferred to Nassau County Jail, where they’ll await their trial. Alaska’s murder case is still
under investigation. There is no evidence that Mike Goldberg killed Alaska Curtis; only that he
preserved the body, as a gift for his son, that his son never asked for. However, Jeremy would
confess that he believed his father to be the serial killer known as the Estates Doll Face. Because
of Jeremy’s confession, Mike is now suspected of all five counts of murder attributed to that
name. Some day soon, we will know for sure.
After Jeremy was released, I did re-unite him with his birth mother, just in time before
she was arrested for giving the Goldbergs Alaska’s body. And I did record it. But that is a
recording that you will never need to hear. They did not hug. They did not cry. They only stared
at each other; each waiting for the other to make them understand. Maybe they wanted love, or
wanted something from each other, but those feelings did not reach their empty eyes. All they got
was silence… and they gave that silence back. They could only ever give silence.
88

DENVER’S HOME.
A long silence.
LOGAN
I—
A long silence.
89

CREDITS
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun
SOUND DESIGN - Ramiro Sambueza, Fletcher Gaddy, David Geyer
MIX & MASTER - Matthew Kyong
ART - Bella Wynne, Locke Reinhardt, and doritofalls
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker
EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina
LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg
JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
PRINCIPAL - Drévon Dixon
THE MORTICIAN - Rachel Shimabukuro
SHAY - Sally Roberts
PATRONS - Ben Walter, Grinleysspa, Jupiter Defense Squad, MuricanPye, Bountsy, Bina,
Happidragon, Criminal Frog, Lukas King, Katrina Redman, August Ure, Mic Drop,
LivinLuxuriouslySelena, Kelly Brennan, Ash, Shoshi, Shep, Nicole Collard, Emma,
MishaWarlock, Sarah, and CJ Taylor-Caldwell!
90

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WKA #24: "SWITCHING FLIPS" TRANSCRIPT.pdf