Write Right (and Edit) - Paula Pant
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The document provides tips for improving writing skills, including structuring sentences with subject-verb-object order, using short and clear sentences, staying close to the words being modified, using the active voice, and being frugal with words. It recommends starting sentences with verbs, observing a three-word limit, and employing the active voice in the present tense.
Write Right (and Edit) - Paula Pant
- 1. Write Right (And Edit!)
- 3. #1
- 4. Subject, Verb, Object.
- 6. Investors feel crushed.
- 7. More than 4,000 years ago cats were domesticated.
- 8. Cats were domesticated more than 4,000 years ago.
- 9. If you can fit it in your bathroom, that would be the ideal place for your cat's litter box.
- 10. The bathroom is an ideal place for your cat’s litter box.
- 11. Short Sentences
- 12. “After watching a documentary about the financial crisis she got an idea for a business and that very weekend she wrote a business plan.”
- 13. “She watched a documentary about the financial crisis. Midway through, she was struck with an idea. She wrote a plan that weekend.”
- 14. Stay by the word you modify!
- 15. “My father'shair, streaked with gray and receding on both sides, is combed straight back to his collar.”
- 16. “My father'shair is combed straight back to his collar. It’s streaked with gray and receding on both sides.”
- 17. “My father'shair is combed straight back to his collar. It’s stained by sweat and folded flat against his tanned neck.”
- 18. #3
- 19. CBS Theory: Clarity, Brevity, Sincerity Richard Lanham, Analyzing Prose, 2003
- 20. Every Word Count
- 21. Be Frugal with Your Words
- 22. “Can I Cut This?” Words = Expenses
- 24. “lawyer”
- 25. “This makes it sort of a pain …”
- 26. “This makes it a pain …”
- 27. “Personally, I believe that …”
- 28. “I believe …”
- 29. “In about 10 days or so”
- 30. “In about 10 days”
- 31. “It's important to be careful when you choose a mutual fund.”
- 32. “Be careful when you choose a mutual fund.”
- 33. “I don’t find that to be one bit necessary.”
- 34. “I don’t find that necessary.”
- 35. “I do have to conclude that I should save for retirement.”
- 36. “I conclude that I should save for retirement.”
- 37. “I should save for retirement.”
- 38. “But what I do have is a …”
- 39. “What I have is a …”
- 40. “I have …”
- 41. “Twelve rescue ambulances stood by to rush injured people to nearby hospitals."
- 43. “They have a greater number of dollars exposed to stock risk – exactly when they’re at the age at which they’re least able to recover from a wipe-out.” 27 words = $54
- 44. “They have more dollars exposed to stock risk – exactly when they’re least able to recover from a wipe-out.” 18 words = $36
- 45. Restructure
- 46. “rather than trying to do everything myself” (7 words)
- 47. “rather than doing everything myself” (5 words)
- 48. #4
- 49. Start with a Verb.
- 50. When you read the Sunday paper look for coupons that you can cut out. The weekly store circular has sales listed. It is near the door. To see what’s on sale this week, look at the store’s website.
- 51. Buy the Sunday paper Read the weekly store circular Clip coupons Purchase generic brands Check the store’s website Look for “double coupon” days Stack manufacturer and store coupons
- 52. To fill out the application, it's good to sit in a quiet room.
- 53. Sit in a quiet room when you fill out the application.
- 54. Take care to close the door as soon as you are finished up taking things in/out of the refrigerator.
- 55. Close the refrigerator door when you’re finished.
- 56. If you are unable to bring in nature into your home due to crowded living conditions, the next best thing you can do is to invest in appliances that efficiently use energy.
- 57. Can’t open the drapes? Invest in energy-efficient appliances.
- 59. “… would buy the medicine and distribute it.” “… would buy and distribute the medicine.”
- 60. “This way it allows her to have extra money.” “This allows her to have extra money.”
- 61. Don’t Be Repetitive. I Repeat, Don’t Be Repetitive.
- 62. "the wedding planner planned a wedding."
- 63. “High-performing executives observe themselves from ‘overhead,’ as a trained observer would."
- 64. “observe themselves … as a trained observer would.”
- 66. “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” - Stephen King, On Writing
- 67. “simply mail the forms …”
- 68. “mail the forms”
- 69. You don’t need adverbs, you need killer verbs.
- 70. “He closed the door firmly.”
- 71. “He slammed the door.”
- 72. “contribute” to a 401k …..
- 73. “shovel” money into a 401k
- 74. Active Voice
- 77. I hope this talk gets the active voice to be used by you.
- 78. I hope this talk gets you to use the active voice.
- 79. •“Rock thestage.” •Josh Shipp •“Sell your crap.” • Adam Baker •“Write epic shit.” • Corbett Barr
- 80. • Start with a verb. • Three words. • Active voice. • Present tense.
Editor's Notes
- #3: Grammar permeates everything
- #6: Stocks tumbled Monday. (when) Stocks tumbled dramatically. Stocks tumbled, in spite of the good economic news.
- #7: This is the skeleton of your sentence – always identify that subject-verb skeleton and then dress it up. Investors feel crushed, despite today’s stock rebound. Investors feel crushed, even though signs point to a bull market.
- #10: “it” is a pronoun, “cat’s litter box” – antecedent it modifies, why have the antecedent come after the pronoun?“that would be” – weak
- #13: (Deep breathe)
- #14: 8 words, 8 words, 6 words. Sentence two is NOT subject-verb, but that’s because the clause “midway through” modifies “documentary,”
- #16: Father’s hair is combed. The phrase sectioned off by commas is a participial phrase, a verb form (streaked, receding) used as an adjective to modify a noun (hair).
- #17: Grammatically correct, but loses panache. We all intuitively know this – when we look at the difference between the two sentences, our gut tells us the first is better. But why? In part, these two sentences are weaker because the participial phrase is pulled further away from the noun it modifies. Look at the distance between “hair” and “streaked with grey” – 7 words in between. “It’s” has an unclear antecedent.
- #18: Better because now the descriptor is closer to what it modifies, collar.
- #20: “tight copy”
- #21: “tight copy”
- #22: Professional publications pay by the word – often as much as $2-$3 per word
- #24: Experience is the default assumption, so there’s no need to specify it.
- #25: If you’re inexperienced, that’s default assumption. That’s different, unique, remarkable – it’s able to be remarked upon. Go ahead and say you’re an “inexperienced” lawyer, just don’t tell me you’re “experienced.”
- #26: This makes is sort of a weak statement.This is a good example of why you shouldn’t write the way you speak. It’s insincere.
- #27: This IS a pain
- #28: Do you jointly believe it? Do you communally believe it? Of course not, even if you did jointly/communally believe it, you’d say “we” instead of “I.”
- #30: You’ve already said “about.” “Or so” is redundant.
- #36: Weakens the sentence, which takes away from the sincerity.
- #37: Subject-verb. I conclude.
- #42: 12 words
- #43: 4 words – cut the sentence by 66 percent
- #44: 12 words
- #45: 12 words
- #46: 4 words – cut the sentence by 66 percent
- #47: Not always a matter of cutting words – sometimes you have to restructure a sentence
- #48: Save 14%!
- #50: If they need micromanagement, they’re not going to be good at writing personal essays or first-person narratives. Most likely you’ll have them writing instructions.
- #55: “Finished up” – as opposed to what? Finished down? Finished sideways? That word serves no purpose.“Take care to” – what does that mean?“Close the door” – not until end of the sentence that I know what door you’re referencing. – 13 words separate “door” from “fridge”
- #56: “Finished up” – as opposed to what? Finished down? Finished sideways? That word serves no purpose.“Take care to” – what does that mean?“Close the door” – not until end of the sentence that I know what door you’re referencing. – 13 words separate “door” from “fridge”
- #57: “bring in” – as opposed to what? Bring out? Look at how redundant that is – “bring IN nature INTO your home”
- #58: I’m not sure these two ideas go together, but that’s what he’s trying to say …
- #60: (buy and distribute) – keep the same parts of speech together. In this case, you keep two verbs together.
- #61: I
- #72: You don’t need adverbs, you need killer verbs.
- #73: Speaking of killer verbs – (this has nothing to do with adverbs anymore)No one (other than the people in this room) are excited about contributing money. It’s a weak verb.
- #76: When in doubt, go back to subject-verb
- #77: Passive is good if you’re a politician – “mistakes were made,” “taxes were raised,” “mistruths were spoken”