SlideShare a Scribd company logo
Write Right
 (And Edit!)
•Structure
•Style
•Assigning/Editin
 g
#1
Subject,
  Verb,
 Object.
Stocks
tumbled.
Investors feel
   crushed.
More than
 4,000 years
ago cats were
domesticated.
Cats were
 domesticated
more than 4,000
  years ago.
If you can fit it in
your bathroom, that
 would be the ideal
 place for your cat's
       litter box.
The bathroom is an
  ideal place for
  your cat’s litter
       box.
Short
Sentences
“After watching a
 documentary about the
financial crisis she got an
 idea for a business and
  that very weekend she
 wrote a business plan.”
“She watched a
documentary about the
 financial crisis. Midway
through, she was struck
with an idea. She wrote a
   plan that weekend.”
Stay by the
 word you
  modify!
“My father'shair,
 streaked with gray and
receding on both sides,
is combed straight back
      to his collar.”
“My father'shair is
 combed straight back
       to his collar.
It’s streaked with gray
 and receding on both
          sides.”
“My father'shair is
 combed straight back
      to his collar.
It’s stained by sweat
and folded flat against
   his tanned neck.”
#3
CBS Theory:
Clarity, Brevity,
   Sincerity
  Richard Lanham, Analyzing Prose, 2003
Every
Word
Count
Be Frugal
with Your
 Words
“Can I Cut
   This?”
Words = Expenses
“experienced
  lawyer…”
“lawyer”
“This makes
 it sort of a
   pain …”
“This makes
 it a pain …”
“Personally, I
 believe that …”
“I believe …”
“In about 10
 days or so”
“In about 10
    days”
“It's important to
be careful when
you choose a
mutual fund.”
“Be careful when
you choose a
mutual fund.”
“I don’t find that
to be one bit
necessary.”
“I don’t find that
necessary.”
“I do have to
 conclude that I
 should save for
 retirement.”
“I conclude that I
 should save for
 retirement.”
“I should save for
 retirement.”
“But what I do
 have is a …”
“What I have is a
 …”
“I have …”
“Twelve rescue
ambulances stood
by to rush injured
people to nearby
hospitals."
“Twelve
ambulances
stood by.”
“They have a greater
 number of dollars exposed
 to stock risk – exactly when
 they’re at the age at which
 they’re least able to recover
 from a wipe-out.”
                27 words = $54
“They have more dollars
 exposed to stock risk –
 exactly when they’re least
 able to recover from a
 wipe-out.”

                18 words = $36
Restructure
“rather than trying
 to do everything
 myself” (7 words)
“rather than doing
 everything
 myself”
         (5 words)
#4
Start with a
   Verb.
When you read the Sunday
 paper look for coupons that you
 can cut out.
The weekly store circular has
 sales listed. It is near the door.
To see what’s on sale this
 week, look at the store’s
 website.
Buy the Sunday paper
Read the weekly store circular
Clip coupons
Purchase generic brands
Check the store’s website
Look for “double coupon” days
Stack manufacturer and store
 coupons
To fill out the
application, it's
good to sit in a
  quiet room.
Sit in a quiet room
 when you fill out
  the application.
Take care to close the
 door as soon as you
    are finished up
 taking things in/out
  of the refrigerator.
Close the refrigerator
  door when you’re
       finished.
If you are unable to bring in
  nature into your home due
      to crowded living
   conditions, the next best
 thing you can do is to invest
      in appliances that
    efficiently use energy.
Can’t open the drapes?

Invest in energy-efficient
        appliances.
Beware the
Rogue “It”.
“… would buy the medicine
    and distribute it.”

“… would buy and distribute
      the medicine.”
“This way it allows her to
   have extra money.”

“This allows her to have
      extra money.”
Don’t Be
   Repetitive.
I Repeat, Don’t Be
    Repetitive.
"the wedding
 planner planned
 a wedding."
“High-performing
  executives observe
    themselves from
‘overhead,’ as a trained
    observer would."
“observe
themselves … as
   a trained
observer would.”
Kill Your
Adverbs.
“The road to
 hell is paved
with adverbs.”
  - Stephen King, On Writing
“simply mail the
   forms …”
“mail the
 forms”
You don’t need
 adverbs, you
  need killer
    verbs.
“He closed
 the door
  firmly.”
“He slammed
  the door.”
“contribute” to
   a 401k …..
“shovel” money
   into a 401k
Active
Voice
Mistakes
were made.
We made
mistakes.
I hope this talk
 gets the active
voice to be used
    by you.
I hope this talk
 gets you to use
the active voice.
•“Rock thestage.”
           •Josh Shipp
•“Sell your crap.”
           • Adam Baker
•“Write epic shit.”
           • Corbett Barr
• Start with a verb.
• Three words.
• Active voice.
• Present tense.

More Related Content

PPTX
Common grammatical errors II Part III II
PPTX
Common grammatical errors || Part || ||
PPT
Jeopardy Game - Quarter Two Review
PPT
PPT
Writing effective sentences runons frags stringy ch 18 (1)
PPTX
Andrea Travillian
PPTX
How to Use Video to Build Your Brand - Jeff Rose
PPTX
Social Media Strategies for Bloggers at Any Stage - Janet Stauble
Common grammatical errors II Part III II
Common grammatical errors || Part || ||
Jeopardy Game - Quarter Two Review
Writing effective sentences runons frags stringy ch 18 (1)
Andrea Travillian
How to Use Video to Build Your Brand - Jeff Rose
Social Media Strategies for Bloggers at Any Stage - Janet Stauble

Similar to Write Right (and Edit) - Paula Pant (20)

PPT
3.1 adma advanced copy the process
PPSX
Creative Workshop
PPT
Advertising headli
PDF
5 Ways to Write a Damn Good Sentence
PDF
PPT
Ask Without Fear! - Long form
PPT
Ten Principles as the Essence of Process Consultation
PDF
How to Kill a Word (2018)
PPT
diary_writing
PPT
Evangelism101
PPT
Grammar Roadshow Slides
PPT
Idealand 2.0
PPTX
Perfect phrases for customer service angry customers
PDF
Spoken english flourish your language
PDF
Oct 2013 Rosy's Home News
PPT
Lecture in Feature Writing
PPT
Power point, tuesday, 1 5-10
PPTX
Starting A Business - Based on Finance Idioms
PPTX
10 Simple Paraphrasing Exercises That Will Boost Your Academic Success
PDF
Writing Lesson-Analyzing Main Idea with Supporting Evidence by Noble Newman
3.1 adma advanced copy the process
Creative Workshop
Advertising headli
5 Ways to Write a Damn Good Sentence
Ask Without Fear! - Long form
Ten Principles as the Essence of Process Consultation
How to Kill a Word (2018)
diary_writing
Evangelism101
Grammar Roadshow Slides
Idealand 2.0
Perfect phrases for customer service angry customers
Spoken english flourish your language
Oct 2013 Rosy's Home News
Lecture in Feature Writing
Power point, tuesday, 1 5-10
Starting A Business - Based on Finance Idioms
10 Simple Paraphrasing Exercises That Will Boost Your Academic Success
Writing Lesson-Analyzing Main Idea with Supporting Evidence by Noble Newman
Ad

More from Philip Taylor (20)

PDF
Caleb Wojcik
PDF
Stacy johnson
PDF
Panel panda penguin
PPT
David sitemangarland
PPTX
Todd Tressider
PDF
Thursday Bram
PPT
Shannyn Allan
PPT
Phillips
PPTX
Ted Jenkin
PPTX
Paula Pant
PPT
Sammons
PPT
Steve Chou
PPTX
Lisa Miller
PPTX
Miss Thrifty
PPTX
Jeff Rose
PPTX
Laura Adams
PPT
Emily Chase Smith
PPTX
Hank Coleman
PPT
Freedman
PPTX
Jean Chatzky
Caleb Wojcik
Stacy johnson
Panel panda penguin
David sitemangarland
Todd Tressider
Thursday Bram
Shannyn Allan
Phillips
Ted Jenkin
Paula Pant
Sammons
Steve Chou
Lisa Miller
Miss Thrifty
Jeff Rose
Laura Adams
Emily Chase Smith
Hank Coleman
Freedman
Jean Chatzky
Ad

Recently uploaded (20)

PDF
The Science-Backed Benefits of Fruit and Vegetable Extracts.pdf
PPTX
Untitled presentation.pptxjkljlkjlkjlkjlkjlkjlkjlkj
DOC
AU毕业证学历认证,阿拉巴马大学亨茨维尔分校毕业证成绩单图片
PDF
Your Love Marriage Forecast: What the Stars Say
PPTX
Lifestyle of Swami Chinmayananda ji Swami ji
PDF
Embracing a Healthy Lifestyle for People in Canada
PDF
Lifestyle and the Experience of Living a Full Day Without the Use of a Smartp...
PDF
Modern Furniture Trends & Home Interior Decoration
PDF
Equivalent Mass and Its Applications practical ppt
PDF
the unconditional part of left to own devices take two
PPTX
Faridabad The City That’s Redefining Urban Living.pptx
PPTX
Life is Long about a life and to increase it.pptx
DOC
AAMU毕业证学历认证,爱默生学院毕业证ps毕业证
PPTX
TLE 8 MANICURE.pptx 1-39U2-048012412048120182
PPTX
photography_basics_jdfjdbjdbjbfjdbj.pptx
PDF
What Is Intimate Partner Violence - Understanding the Crisis, Data and Solutions
PPTX
Respiratory-and-Circulatory-Hazards-lecture.pptx
PDF
Yoga for life ...........................
PPTX
Social%20Dance%20(%20Cha%20Cha%20Dance).pptx.pptx
PDF
Intro to Culture, Society, and Politics.
The Science-Backed Benefits of Fruit and Vegetable Extracts.pdf
Untitled presentation.pptxjkljlkjlkjlkjlkjlkjlkjlkj
AU毕业证学历认证,阿拉巴马大学亨茨维尔分校毕业证成绩单图片
Your Love Marriage Forecast: What the Stars Say
Lifestyle of Swami Chinmayananda ji Swami ji
Embracing a Healthy Lifestyle for People in Canada
Lifestyle and the Experience of Living a Full Day Without the Use of a Smartp...
Modern Furniture Trends & Home Interior Decoration
Equivalent Mass and Its Applications practical ppt
the unconditional part of left to own devices take two
Faridabad The City That’s Redefining Urban Living.pptx
Life is Long about a life and to increase it.pptx
AAMU毕业证学历认证,爱默生学院毕业证ps毕业证
TLE 8 MANICURE.pptx 1-39U2-048012412048120182
photography_basics_jdfjdbjdbjbfjdbj.pptx
What Is Intimate Partner Violence - Understanding the Crisis, Data and Solutions
Respiratory-and-Circulatory-Hazards-lecture.pptx
Yoga for life ...........................
Social%20Dance%20(%20Cha%20Cha%20Dance).pptx.pptx
Intro to Culture, Society, and Politics.

Write Right (and Edit) - Paula Pant

Editor's Notes

  • #3: Grammar permeates everything
  • #6: Stocks tumbled Monday. (when) Stocks tumbled dramatically. Stocks tumbled, in spite of the good economic news.
  • #7: This is the skeleton of your sentence – always identify that subject-verb skeleton and then dress it up. Investors feel crushed, despite today’s stock rebound. Investors feel crushed, even though signs point to a bull market.
  • #10: “it” is a pronoun, “cat’s litter box” – antecedent it modifies, why have the antecedent come after the pronoun?“that would be” – weak
  • #13: (Deep breathe)
  • #14: 8 words, 8 words, 6 words. Sentence two is NOT subject-verb, but that’s because the clause “midway through” modifies “documentary,”
  • #16: Father’s hair is combed. The phrase sectioned off by commas is a participial phrase, a verb form (streaked, receding) used as an adjective to modify a noun (hair).
  • #17: Grammatically correct, but loses panache. We all intuitively know this – when we look at the difference between the two sentences, our gut tells us the first is better. But why? In part, these two sentences are weaker because the participial phrase is pulled further away from the noun it modifies. Look at the distance between “hair” and “streaked with grey” – 7 words in between. “It’s” has an unclear antecedent.
  • #18: Better because now the descriptor is closer to what it modifies, collar.
  • #20: “tight copy”
  • #21: “tight copy”
  • #22: Professional publications pay by the word – often as much as $2-$3 per word
  • #24: Experience is the default assumption, so there’s no need to specify it.
  • #25: If you’re inexperienced, that’s default assumption. That’s different, unique, remarkable – it’s able to be remarked upon. Go ahead and say you’re an “inexperienced” lawyer, just don’t tell me you’re “experienced.”
  • #26: This makes is sort of a weak statement.This is a good example of why you shouldn’t write the way you speak. It’s insincere.
  • #27: This IS a pain
  • #28: Do you jointly believe it? Do you communally believe it? Of course not, even if you did jointly/communally believe it, you’d say “we” instead of “I.”
  • #30: You’ve already said “about.” “Or so” is redundant.
  • #36: Weakens the sentence, which takes away from the sincerity.
  • #37: Subject-verb. I conclude.
  • #42: 12 words
  • #43: 4 words – cut the sentence by 66 percent
  • #44: 12 words
  • #45: 12 words
  • #46: 4 words – cut the sentence by 66 percent
  • #47: Not always a matter of cutting words – sometimes you have to restructure a sentence
  • #48: Save 14%!
  • #50: If they need micromanagement, they’re not going to be good at writing personal essays or first-person narratives. Most likely you’ll have them writing instructions.
  • #55: “Finished up” – as opposed to what? Finished down? Finished sideways? That word serves no purpose.“Take care to” – what does that mean?“Close the door” – not until end of the sentence that I know what door you’re referencing. – 13 words separate “door” from “fridge”
  • #56: “Finished up” – as opposed to what? Finished down? Finished sideways? That word serves no purpose.“Take care to” – what does that mean?“Close the door” – not until end of the sentence that I know what door you’re referencing. – 13 words separate “door” from “fridge”
  • #57: “bring in” – as opposed to what? Bring out? Look at how redundant that is – “bring IN nature INTO your home”
  • #58: I’m not sure these two ideas go together, but that’s what he’s trying to say …
  • #60: (buy and distribute) – keep the same parts of speech together. In this case, you keep two verbs together.
  • #61: I
  • #72: You don’t need adverbs, you need killer verbs.
  • #73: Speaking of killer verbs – (this has nothing to do with adverbs anymore)No one (other than the people in this room) are excited about contributing money. It’s a weak verb.
  • #76: When in doubt, go back to subject-verb
  • #77: Passive is good if you’re a politician – “mistakes were made,” “taxes were raised,” “mistruths were spoken”