...And that is when the fight started.
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The three documents describe humorous interactions between husbands and wives. In the first, a husband buys his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas and jokes that she hasn't used the gift from last year when she asks why he didn't buy her anything. In the second, a husband asks to "phone a friend" after his wife answers "yes" to wanting to have sex. In the third, a husband compliments his wife's eyesight after she feels ugly in the mirror.
...And that is when the fight started.
- 2. One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't w t he s ho used the gift I bought that' d... you last year!" And tarte fi ght s
- 3. My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered.. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' w t he s ho So I said, "Then I'd like to phone that' d... a friend." And tarte fi ght s
- 4. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" n t he whe hat's d... n d t r te A "Nah, she can order for f i gh t sta herself."
- 5. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" ”Yes”, she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a n t he whe person could go on celebrating that long?" hat's d... n d t r te A f i gh t sta
- 6. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her busily snipping away with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the y I will grass, you might as well sweep the rs sa I will octo , but The d gain driveway.." . a limp walk s have a alway
- 7. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible.." My loving wife of 5 years replied, n the whe … "And, can you believe my That’s arted stupid husband is out fishing in fig ht st that?"
- 8. After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, n the whe … 'You should have dropped That’s arted your pants. You might have gotten fig ht st disability too.'
- 9. My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." n the whe … That’s arted fig ht st
- 10. My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.” e hen th at’s w d… I replied, "Your eyesight's Th damn near perfect." figh t starte
- 11. Wife asked husband “How many women have you slept with?” Husband proudly replies, “only you Darling, with all the others I was awake.” hen th e Th at’s w d… figh t starte