Confidence Isn’t “Fake It Till You Make It”—It’s “Execute What You Believe”

🔒 Confidence Isn’t “Fake It Till You Make It”—It’s “Execute What You Believe”

Let’s retire the phrase fake it till you make it. It suggests smoke and mirrors. It puts the emphasis on pretending, rather than preparing. And more often than not, it plants the seed of doubt: Am I faking it?

Here’s a better way to frame it:

Put your best idea forward—and execute with confidence.

You don’t want to leave a room wondering: Was it the idea that didn’t work, or was it how I showed up?

Recently, I wrapped up a coaching engagement with a rising leader in private equity. Our conversations dug into the very heart of confidence—what it looks like, how it evolves, and where it actually comes from. Here are three big takeaways that apply to anyone stepping into a new opportunity:

🧠 Insight #1: Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt—it’s commitment in the face of it.

You don’t need to be 100% certain to speak with conviction. You just need to know: this is the best thinking I have right now. Doubt will always be in the room. Let confidence be louder.

🔁 Insight #2: Clarity creates confidence.

Want to sound confident? Be clear. Know what you’re solving for. Know what you’re asking. Know what role you want to play. The clearer you are—on your persona, your message, your lane—the more natural your voice will sound, and the less you’ll overthink whether you belong in the room.

(You do.)

Insight #3: Confidence builds when you show up with a point of view.

Confidence isn’t just presence—it’s perspective. In rooms full of voices, the ones that resonate are grounded in clarity and curiosity. You don’t need to have all the answers, but bringing a sharp, well-informed point of view—especially in your area of strength—sets you apart. It’s not about being loud. It’s about being directional.

🏗️ So what can you do right now to build confidence?

7 Practical Steps to Build Real Confidence (Starting This Week)

1. Choose your leadership lens.

Decide how you want to be known in the room—are you the one who always spots risk, brings the industry context, or connects the dots others miss? This becomes your entry point in group settings.

2. Prepare, then speak early.

Before your next meeting, prep one well-formed point or question. Then speak up in the first 10 minutes. Confidence compounds when you stop waiting for the “perfect” moment.

3. Define what “playing to win” looks like for you.

Don’t just try to sound confident—know what success looks like in your role. Whether it’s leading a deal, owning a process, or building a relationship, define the win. It clarifies your next move.

4. Communicate before you’re asked.

Take 15 minutes each morning to ask, What do others need to know today? Proactive communication builds credibility, reduces fire drills, and positions you as someone who’s in control—not reacting.

5. Stop asking, “Am I ready?” Start asking, “Is this my best idea?”

Confidence doesn’t require certainty. It requires commitment. If it’s your best idea at the moment, act on it. The clarity of that conviction will carry you.

6. Practice presence, not perfection.

When responding to questions, pause before you speak. Take up space—physically and verbally. You’re not rushing to impress. You’re calmly contributing to the conversation.

7. Volunteer to own one ambiguous, messy thing.

Pick one loose-end project, process gap, or “someone should really…” item—and own it. Leading through ambiguity is a real-time confidence accelerator and signals partner-level thinking.

In the end, confidence doesn’t come from pretending to be someone you’re not. It comes from stepping fully into who you are—and doing the work that earns you the right to own the room.

💡 And here’s the best part: You don’t have to fake that.