Living in the Liminal: Why Threshold Spaces Are Essential for Life and Leadership
"We pack for our insecurities," a friend recently told me. And he's absolutely right – both literally and metaphorically.
As I reflected on this wisdom while preparing for my bi-coastal adventure between Seattle and Australia's Sunshine Coast (yes, I still love calling it our bicoastal life even though it drives my partner Jared crazy!), I realized something profound: we're not just packing for insecurities – we're packing for liminality. We're preparing ourselves to inhabit that uncomfortable, transformative space between who we were and who we're becoming.
The Edge as Threshold – Both Personal and Professional
After 40+ years in educational leadership and now stepping into my own "gap year" adventure, I've learned that the most significant growth happens not in the comfortable zones of expertise, but in the liminal spaces – those in-between moments where normal rules are suspended and new possibilities emerge.
These threshold spaces show up everywhere in our lives:
Transitioning between roles, careers, or life chapters
Leading organizations (or families) through major change
Navigating the space between old ways of being and emerging practices
Standing between what we know and what we need to learn
Moving between relationships, homes, or versions of ourselves
These liminal spaces aren't accidents in our development – they're essential. They're where transformation happens, where innovation emerges, and where authentic leadership and living converge.
Packing for Life's Uncertainties
When we face major transitions – whether it's a career change, a relationship shift, or in my case, packing eight pairs of socks, power cords, and piles of journals for a van life adventure – we do what comes naturally: we try to bring certainty into uncertainty. Each item, each backup plan, each "what if" scenario represents our attempt to control the uncontrollable.
But here's what I'm learning about navigating liminal spaces in both life and work: they require a different kind of preparation. Instead of packing for every possible scenario, we need to cultivate the qualities that help us navigate uncertainty itself:
Curiosity over Certainty: Rather than trying to predict every outcome, let's cultivate wonder and openness about what we might discover about ourselves, our relationships, and our capabilities.
Flexibility over Fixed Plans: Let's embrace adaptability instead of rigid career trajectories or life plans. The most fulfilled people I know have learned to see change as opportunity rather than threat.
Trust over Total Control: Let's develop faith in our ability to figure things out as we go, drawing on our experience while remaining open to new approaches.
The paradox is that we need enough preparation to feel brave, but not so much that we're paralyzed by trying to control every variable. Liminal spaces teach us that some things can't be planned – they can only be lived.
The Community of Shared Liminality
In my work with leaders and in my personal journey, I've emphasized that transformation is more powerful when shared. When we enter threshold spaces together – whether as leadership teams, family units, professional cohorts, or in my case, grabbing hands with Jared and jumping into this bi-coastal adventure – we create what anthropologist Victor Turner called "communitas."
In these moments, hierarchies dissolve, authentic relationships form, and collective transformation becomes possible. The most innovative organizations I've worked with understand this, and the strongest relationships I've witnessed embrace it: they create cultures where it's safe to be in liminal spaces together, where uncertainty is met with curiosity rather than fear.
My journey with Jared isn't just about building a bi-coastal life – it's about creating a shared liminal experience where we can discover new aspects of ourselves and our relationship. When we grab hands and jump together, we're not just sharing risk – we're sharing the profound vulnerability of becoming.
Three Touchstones for Navigating Life's Thresholds
As I navigate my own transition from educational leadership to this gap year of adventure, coaching, and consulting, I'm guided by three principles that serve as touchstones in liminal spaces – whether I'm leading a school through change or figuring out van life logistics:
Joy as a Compass: When traditional markers disappear – job titles, familiar routines, expected roles – joy points us toward what's emerging rather than what we're leaving behind. What work brings you alive? What relationships energize you? What challenges make you feel most yourself?
Flexibility as a Survival Skill: Liminal spaces are fluid by nature. They demand that we bend without breaking, adjust without abandoning our core values, and trust that our vision serves as a beacon on the horizon. Whether it's adapting to a new organizational culture or learning to live in 100 square feet with your partner, flexibility becomes essential.
Generosity as a Bridge: When we're between worlds – professional or personal – generosity connects us to others who are also navigating their own thresholds. Mentoring, sharing knowledge, supporting others' growth, or simply offering presence creates the community that sustains us through transition.
Living the Questions
Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, "Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." This is the essence of liminal spaces – learning to inhabit the questions rather than rushing to answers.
The most profound growth happens when we resist the urge to quickly define ourselves by new titles, roles, or relationships, and instead allow ourselves to exist in the fertile discomfort of becoming. Liminal spaces are inherently uncomfortable – they strip away our familiar identities and roles, leaving us temporarily without clear definition. But this discomfort is fertile ground for transformation.
Your Own Threshold
As you read this, you might be standing at your own edge, carrying your own carefully packed insecurities. Perhaps you're between jobs, between relationships, between versions of yourself. Perhaps you're leading an organization through transition, or supporting a child through their own growth and uncertainty.
Whatever your threshold, I invite you to consider: What would it mean to embrace the liminality rather than rush through it? What would it mean to pack not for control, but for discovery? What would it mean to grab hands with others and jump together into the unknown?
What threshold are you standing at today? I'd love to hear about the liminal spaces you're navigating in your professional journey.
Ready to explore your edges? Let's start a conversation about how embracing uncertainty can transform your life, your career.
Read the full story at: drkirkwheeler.com/blog
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