Mastering the Art of Getting What You Want
Negotiating is the basis of many actions in our everyday lives. It can be asking for a raise. Or to work on a new project. Or even just convincing a friend to pick your favourite pizza place. Getting your point across can feel intimidating, but there are ways you can get better at it.
Follow our tips to feel more confident next time you have to speak up and achieve a win-win situation.
One: Start by Listening
Basic advice, right? But it’s the true foundation of any great negotiation.
Ask open-ended questions. Not just “yes” or “no” questions, but ones that get people talking. (Example: "What’s most important to you in this deal?")
Don’t interrupt! It’s tempting, but silence lets the other person share their real thoughts and feelings.
Repeat key points. This shows you're listening and helps clarify things if something’s unclear.
Most people think that to win, they have to dominate the conversation, pitching their argument nonstop.
The truth? Listening is what makes you a great negotiator. Taking the time to do it shows you respect them (that goes a long way). Plus, it helps you get insights into what the other person values and is concerned about. With this information, you can reach a compromise.
Two: Focus on Mutual Benefits
It’s not about just your needs. And let’s be real, no one likes it when one side is just taking and the other side is just giving. The goal? Finding a win-win situation. Your proposal must benefit both parties to up your chances of reaching an agreement.
So, think, when you’re asking for something, what can you offer the other person?
Look for shared goals or interests. This could be a shared desire to complete a project faster or get more exposure to a wider audience.
Share how your ideas can make both sides walk away happy. You can say, “If I can take on this extra responsibility, I’ll be able to bring fresh ideas to the team and ease some of your workload”.
Be open to adjusting your request. The ideal solution can be a bit different than your original one but, if it works for both parties, it’s still a win!
Three: Keep Calm Even If It Gets Heated
Negotiations can sometimes feel like a battle. If emotions run high, it can be hard to keep a level head so to stay cool:
Just breathe for a second to stop you from snapping back with something you’ll wish you hadn’t said.
When you’re challenged, instead of jumping in, pause with “Let me think about that”.
Use positive body language. Make eye contact and smile to show you’re engaged.
Staying cool makes you look like you’ve got this. And when people see you’re not rattled, they’ll naturally trust your judgment more.
Four: Embrace The Power of Timing
Don’t force the moment. If you try talking at the wrong time, like when the other person is busy, distracted, or stressed, you can make things harder:
Pay attention to their mood and the environment. Check when they aren’t overworked and, instead, relaxed and open.
Check your pacing. Don’t rush into your ask. Let the conversation breathe.
Look for signs of interest or when they seem to agree with what you’re saying. That’s when you bring up your main point.
Remember, rushing a negotiation is usually a red flag to the other person. Take your time. Things usually work out better when there’s no pressure.
Five: Be Prepared to Walk Away
This one’s tough. A lot of people think that doing so means they failed. But it’s a sign of strength, indicating you’re confident in your position and can wait for something better. Walk away if:
The deal just doesn’t work for you. Don’t push it. Say your piece respectfully, but don’t burn bridges; you never know when another opportunity might come around.
You’ve laid out where you stand, and they won’t budge. Hold your ground and walk away if you have to. No deal is better than a bad deal.
Sometimes, walking away can make them come back later with a better offer. People don’t like to lose out on good deals.
Six: Know Your Worth
Negotiations are about respect. And that starts with knowing your value.
Be confident but humble. You know your value, just don’t make it sound like they’re lucky to have you.
Use facts. If you ask for a raise, skip the “I deserve this” speech. Present what you’ve done, how it made an impact, and what the market’s paying for your role.
If you approach negotiations with respect, for yourself and the other person, it’ll organically lean towards collaboration.
Ultimately?
You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room or have the best sales pitch to succeed in a negotiation. Just listen and you’ll understand the other person. That way, you can find common ground and create the best solution together.
Do you have any tips or stories to share? Drop them in the comments, we’d love to hear how you make these situations work for you.