Why Generic Wellness Tips Don't Work for You (What to Do Instead)

A friend of mine thinks it’s masochistic to chase ventures with heightened risk of pain of any magnitude. That statement used to make me defensive, that has changed overtime. There is a thrill in being an adventurous animal. I enjoy a cold shower early in the morning and again in the evening. Deliberate cold exposure rejuvenates my body, mind, and soul. It’s part of my daily ritual.

The internet is flooded with posts like “10 Ways to Achieve Confidence, Health, Wealth, Stress Relief, Financial Stability, a Healthy Lifestyle, Six-Pack Abs, Increased Libido, Better Sleep, Earn Money Online,” and so on. But do they really work? I’ve tried some of them. Some worked, some didn’t, and the ones that didn’t left me more frustrated.

Most of these tips only help people with certain capabilities, privileges, opportunities, attitudes and predispositions.

Case Scenario 1: Imagine someone in northern Kenya, or anywhere affected by drought and food scarcity comes across a post titled, “10 Foods to Promote a Healthy Diet.” While the information might benefit someone with access to all kinds of food, it could be harmful to someone without such access. Preaching about a “healthy diet” to someone who struggles to access any food, even unhealthy food, could negatively affect their mental health; both short- and long-term. They might even resent you out of indignation.

Case Scenario 2: Consider an overworked employee who reads a post on “10 Ways to Prevent Burnout” or sees someone following the advice and decides to imitate it. Will they actually gain the benefits from those actions?

There’s a particular study about two rats on running wheels that I find fascinating. Here's what happened:

Two rats: let’s call them Rat X and Rat Y. They were placed on separate wheels.

Rat X: runs voluntarily on the wheel and is motivated to do so. It enjoys the exercise so to say.

Rat Y’s wheel is mechanically connected to Rat X’s; it is forced to run whenever Rat X does.

Neurobiologically, both were performing the same action. However, Rat X experienced all the benefits associated with exercise: reduced stress, increased dopamine, and hypertrophy. Rat Y, despite the identical movement, experienced elevated stress.

When we voluntarily choose our stressors—a rare privilege in today’s unpredictable world. We’re more likely to feel in control and less likely to view them as terrible or unbearable. This, in turn, enhances our ability to cope and endure.

In my case, deliberate cold exposure is a stressor I have chosen to endure in pursuit of its benefits. The same applies to people who choose to go to the gym, run, walk, jog, meditate, take saunas, ride bikes, hike, climb mountains, or even ride rollercoasters.

It’s all about perception. If you perceive something as unbearable, terrible, bad, or unjust, or alternatively, as good, bearable, beneficial, healthy, and necessary; that perception becomes your reality. It’s all in your mind.

 After reading Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, I became convinced that even a traumatic experience like rape can hoard something positive if you dare to tune your mind to perceive it differently. That book changed how I now perceive challenges.

Here’s the thing: Holding onto a negative narrative of what happened to you doesn’t help. In fact, it makes you a captive of that moment for as long as you cling to the story. You could choose to tell yourself a different (more empowering) narrative, one that rewires your plastic brain. But first, you need to confront and release the emotional weight (through catharsis).

I’ve interacted with individuals recovering from alcohol use disorder. I used to wonder why they often repeated their painful stories. But now I understand: it helps with catharsis and allows for narrative change, an essential step for neuroplasticity, which enables behavioural transformation. In their context, that means quitting alcohol and changing the behaviours associated with drinking.

Doing anything with intent matters. The same action that leads to a positive outcome for one person can produce a negative outcome for another. How absurd is the dynamics of the human condition?

Here’s the deal: You must be intentional in everything you do. Voluntary make a commitment to pursue health, wellbeing, wealth, knowledge, skills, love, connections, meaning, purpose and anything you subjectively value.

I suppose you could make the necessary changes to transform your life and make it more meaningful. You could take up a new role, act differently, and embrace your fate. The choice is entirely yours, regardless of the chaos in your life. More specifically, your attitude.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche 

    ~John Wanjiru

 Mental Health Professional  

wanjirukjohn@gmail.com