Managing Media Use @ Home

Editor's Notes

• #3: Before we talk about managing media use at home… We must guide children about issues of safety, manners, and overall conduct – both in person and online. We want our children to be good citizens, in both real and digital worlds. It is not just the school’s job. Parents are most often the first to introduce kids to technology. We need a community approach. It is a partnership between school and home, with each side reinforcing the other. And most importantly – its NOT about the technology Research through the Families and Media Project out of the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop shows that “while technologies themselves are usually touted as the change factor, relationships matter most. Parents’ relationships with administrators and teachers are crucial to how they integrate technology at home”
• #4: Each of our children was born into a world where the answer to every question is on our pocket – anyone can Google a question – access is ubiquitous but can you analyze the results and find the best solution for your problem? Those are the critical thinking and problem solving skills both parents and teachers strive to develop. CSM has 10 questions about ed tech and 18 questions to ask your teachers on BTSN - listed in the resources
• #5: The most important thing for parents to realize is there is no “right answer” – each family, and even each child is different. What works for other families might not work for yours. What worked for your oldest might not work for your youngest, etc.
• #6: We live “in a world where ‘screen time’ is becoming simply ‘time’.” Online and offline worlds are all one space now. The most important concern about screen time isn’t the time, it is the quality of the content. AAP currently recommends ZERO screen time for children under 2 and no more than 2 hours a day for children older than 2. BUT Even they realize their recommendations are outdated and plan to release new guidelines in the Fall of 2016. Dr. Dimitri Christakis, one of the authors of the current AAP guidelines, went so far as to write an editorial for JAMA Pediatrics recommending that interactive media for children under 2 is acceptable for 30 to 60 minutes a day CSM 2013 survey revealed that 38% of children under the age of 2 had used a mobile device. And that was two years ago. UCLA study 2014- 6th graders self reported spending an average of more than four hours on a typical school day texting, watching TV, and playing video games Which goes back to relationships. Is reading a book with a child on an iPad any different from reading a physical book, Dr. Christakis says. “The real value of reading to a child isn’t anything magical about the book…The book is providing a platform for a parent and child to interact. The real question is, Does the device promote that kind of back and forth or not? It certainly could. It’s all about how it’s used and how it’s structured.”
• #7: Play segment if time – Set limits Removing the device ends the debate
• #8: CSM 2011 Zero to 8: children’s media use in america TV still accounts for the majority of screen use by children
• #9: Just how much is ok? Is a half-hour show OK but a full-length movie "bad"? The truth is, there is no magic formula. A healthy media diet is very much like a nutritious meal plan: Some days, they eat all their peas and carrots, and one day they may eat nothing but Cheetos at a birthday party. You figure out ways to make sure they get the right balance over the long term. At some point, you'll help them take the reins and manage their own use. A healthy media diet balances three things: what kids do how much time they spend doing it and whether their content choices are age-appropriate.  What is just as important as how much.
• #10: There are a number of resources parents can use when determining if an app, website, TV show, movie, or book is appropriate for their child. Common Sense Media’s ratings are a perfect starting point. Using the Common Sense website or by downloading the free Common Sense Kids Media App, parents can read Common Sense Media’s rating (which seem to be fairly conservative), ratings by parents, ratings by children, as well as see a quick graph of “What parents need to know” for each title.  Common Sense Media rates apps based on "age appropriateness and learning potential" based on engagement, whether kids can learn what the app suggests they can, if there is the possibility of giving feedback, accessibility and whether extensions for the app are available.  The Children's Technology Review also has its own system for rating apps based on a rubric. Their system includes evaluating whether an app "empowers" children to interact equally, has equitable portrayals. CTR's ratings system is available to parents on a subscription basis. CTR states that its ratings system is " an academic attempt to apply a constructivist, active learning theoretical framework to children's interactive media; and this bias is burnt into the rubric. We acknowledge that not everyone shares the same ideas with our definition of quality.” Additionally, reading the iTunes or Google Play reviews for particular apps is always informative. When looking at app reviews, pay attention to see if the app offers “in app purchases.” Common Sense Media, the iTunes Store, and Google Play all specify if in app purchases are available. For older children, have them do the research before asking for something new. Children in 4th grade and up can be taught to check the Kids Media app, read reviews, decide if it would be a good fit for them – then they can ask you for permission. Another good idea is for you to have children write down their request on a “wish list.” Then later, at your convenience, you can take your time, read reviews, and make a decision that best fits your family.   Best to use your judgment – think about what is right for your children. Media use should be a limited part of a wide range of activities that support children’s learning and development Engage with them around the apps they use, the apps they want, and why they like them.
• #11:     We can’t shut it out
• #12: Build healthy relationship with technology The family-tech dynamic is taking center stage in discussions on health and wellness Technology has become a permanent part of our lives – welcome the positive Need to promote balance. Plan - Find that balance - foundation of communication. Family discussions opportunity be on same page as partners, to teach children our family values and perspectives and to understand one another Together - Whenever you can, watch, play, and listen with your kids. Talk about the content. Model - When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you want them to use it. Use Media as a tool. Demonstrate how your devices are a means to an end, not an end unto themselves. Avoid using media as a reward or a punishment -- that gives it too much power. Clock - Establish time limits that work for your family's needs. Let kids choose – choice helps them regulate usage. Limit distractions. Keep phones and devices away when kids need to focus on other things -- homework or chores. That'll make it easier for them to stay on task and make media use easier to track.    
• #13: A contract on its own is not enough. True tech success with children and teens comes when there are family conversations and a culture where asking questions, discussing perspectives, and working together are the norm. The best results can be found at the Intersection between rules and boundaries and dialogue and understanding. Jennifer Miller has wonderful suggestions and a sample agenda for a family media meeting What are some of our best experiences with media? What types and why do we love it? What are some frustrations or challenges with media? Share and know the facts. Be sure you clarify and ask questions about the facts to model that kind of questioning for your children. Do include rigid time constraints – fitting in homework, snack time and dinner after school, soccer practice, free chance to play and also, time to connect as a family. What lost opportunities are there when screen time is unlimited? How do we want to connect as a family each day? Is it at a mealtime? Get clear on where this fits first. Now, considering the facts, you might ask the following questions:A. How do we need to limit screen time in our house?B. How much time should we allot?C. When should it be used?D. Where should it be used?E. How should it be used? Finally each person in the family can give one hope or dream for how media will positively contribute to their lives in the future.
• #14: Use Media Together - Whenever you can, watch, play, and listen with your kids. Talk about the content. Ask them about the media they've used. Help kids question and consider media messages. Share your own values. Let them know how you feel about solving problems with violence, stereotyping people, selling products using sex or cartoon characters, or advertising to kids in schools or movie theaters. Help kids connect what they learn in the media to events and other activities in which they're involved -- such as sports and art -- to broaden their understanding of the world. Define media (the variety of screens that exist in the house) How much tech to YOU use?
• #15: What are children learning from YOUR media use? Model - When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you want them to use it. Avoid posting everything that happens in your life, ask permission before uploading photos of others, and establish some media-free family time. Use media as a tool. Show your kids your mapping program, your news app, or your photo-editing programs. Demonstrate how your devices are a means to an end, not an end unto themselves. Avoid using media as a reward or a punishment -- that gives it too much power. The table might be the only 20 minutes we have all day to say, eyeball to eyeball, “What is happening today?” no need to philosophize or discuss Aristotle. A simple conversation over breakfast vs. parent checking email and children being ignored helps build relationships -eye contact -respect -vocailzation -reciprocity (back and forth/take turns) - listening skills -feeling of being listened to -feeling of respect - empathy and continuity of attention span If we’re watching a movie, eating in a restaurant or splurging on hot fudge sundaes, there will be no texting, scrolling, chatting or working (!!) at the same time. If we’re lucky enough to sit together, we owe it to each other to be fully present. Even if we feel squirmy. There will be days, events, outings and holidays when we all commit to being device-free. Sometimes it feels nice to go for a walk without bringing the hundreds of people we know along with us. Even if it’s virtually. Try Tech Free Tuesdays where the family pulls out a board game – take turns on who gets to pick. Everyone will leave devices turned off, in a central location, every night. I had five babies in eight years. It was my life’s work for a decade to get you to sleep. I will not allow notifications, screen lights or that next level on your tiny addictive game to rob any of us of sleep. People First. A visitor stops by. A conversation forms. Friends gather. Humans in real life always take priority over humans in online life. It’s just better for everyone that way.Smartphones and sleepovers – Playdates are for playing – limit tech use (9pm phones are collected) or collect tech at the door “house rules” come over to our house to have fun and hang out. Parents can call land line or the hosting parent’s cell phone if they need to reach their children.   Slow Tech Manifesto http://www.janellburleyhofmann.com/slow-tech-manifesto/
• #16: Sherry Turkle, MIT professor and author of Alone Together: why we expect more from technology and less from our selves, and a new book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age shares research on how technology disrupts interpersonal communication (55 seconds)
• #17: We are on the rollercoaster of parenting in a digital age where technology changes so rapidly it is hard to keep up First iPhone was released in 2007. Only 8 years ago! We remember when you had to pull over and find a payphone to call someone. When, if your parents were running errands and not home or at work, you couldn’t call them. Plus, chlidren age and each stage merits a new conversation – new limits, new permisisons