2015 Spring RoundupFINALlowRes_WEB
- 1. WINTER 2015 From the remains of a broken life, Melody finds BEAUTY FROM ASHES
- 2. 800-687-3722 calfarley.org/donate Cal Farley’s is committed to giving children a better future. And, often the best way to achieve that is to help parents change their lives, too. At the Genie Farley Harriman Center for Women & Children, we help struggling single mothers learn to provide for their families. Here, young women who never expected to raise a child alone learn parenting, money-management and vocational skills. We’re helping build a stronger society — one family at a time. TO cal farley’s, familymeans everything Winter 2015 • Vol. LXVI, No. 1 BOARD OF DIRECTORS Rodney Ruthart – Chairman Greg Mitchell – Vice-Chair Lilia Escajeda – Secretary Dan Adams – President and CEO Malcolm Shelton – Treasurer Tanner Alexander Daniel Bradley Stan Chatman Betty Cooper Joe Howell Bud Joyner Jane King Mike King Debra McCartt Fay Moore Aaron Pan Walter “Four” Price Lance Purcell Tom Roach III Alan Roberson J. Avery Rush III Lenny Sadler Shannon Stapp Chris Storm Tol Ware FOUNDATION BOARD Greg Mitchell – Chair Tom Roach III – Vice-Chair Joe Howell – Secretary Dan Adams – President and CEO Bud Joyner Mike King Fay Moore Rodney Ruthart Malcolm Shelton DIRECTORS EMERITUS Harold Courson Genie Farley Harriman Sherm Harriman Gene Hayman Members of the Cal Farley’s board of directors volunteer their time and expertise to provide leadership and guidance. ROUNDUP STAFF Publisher – Susan Carter, senior vice president of development Editor – Cary R. Varnado, senior director of marketing communications Writing photography – Ashley Baca Cary R. Varnado Design – Ashley Baca Jason Brice
- 3. 53 8 10 13 ON THE COVER: Melody’s journey to healing has brought her life into focus. Photo by Shannon Richardson OUR MISTAKE: Photo labels misidentified the Edwards and Fischer group homes in our Christmas issue. Roundup regrets the error. President’s Message .................................. 2 Jacob: New Horizons ................................... 3 Melody: Beauty from ashes ...................... 5 Community-as-lab .......................................8 Latonya: Changing Directions .................10 Brooke: Accepting change .......................13 december graduates ................................14 P.O. Box 1890, Amarillo, Texas 79174-0001 800-687-3722 • calfarley.org table of contents
- 4. 2 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup Dan Adams President and CEO Cal Farley’s Cal Farley’s provides professional programs and services in a Christ-centered atmosphere to strengthen families and support the overall development of children. President’s Message One choice can make all the difference M OST OF US, AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER, have jumped in our cars or trucks and taken a trip across the open road. There’s something about taking the wheel and having the self-confidence to safely get where you want to go. But what if you didn’t have that confidence? What if you didn’t know where you were going? With no destination, no map or GPS, not even a plan in mind, where would you end up? On a trip like that, the odds are pretty high you’d take a wrong turn and end up somewhere you really didn’t care to visit. You know, many of the children Cal Farley’s serves began their lives on just that kind of journey. Whether by circumstance or the choices of someone around them, these young people found themselves traveling a very rocky road. Maybe they didn’t know where they were going, or maybe they had an idea and didn’t like what that path had in store. The interesting thing about life, though, is how so often a single choice — turning right instead of left, for instance — can dramatically affect the direction of our life’s journey. A choice like turning to Cal Farley’s. In this issue of Roundup, you’ll meet a number of young people whose lives have carried them through some difficult, even tragic, circumstances. Yet, at some point, they or someone close to them chose to stop and ask for help — to get some directions, you might say. At Cal Farley’s, these young people found people who care enough to help them change direction. More than that, though, we’re helping them build a roadmap to give the rest of their journey hope, purpose and new meaning. No journey is the same; each one’s travels through life have been unique. For Melody, the odyssey has been one of growth — out of a destructive emotional wildfire to create a future filled with the promise of new life. Then, there’s Brooke, whose interpersonal trek is restoring relationships and paving a road back to her family. For Cal Farley’s alumna LaTonya and her husband, life is taking the next turn — applying the skills she learned at Cal Farley’s as they map out a smoother future than the one she knew as a child. With each choice, the journey takes shape. Equipped with the power and purpose instilled at Cal Farley’s, young people who once might have feared what tomorrow will bring are smiling and looking forward to the adventure. You and I have a choice today, too. Will we work together to make sure Cal Farley’s is able to be that roadside haven, the place of safety and belonging it’s been for more than 75 years? Whether you’ve been committed to our mission for years, or this is your first encounter with our life- changing work, I hope you’ll join us on the journey. It’s a long adventure — there are always new travelers who need our help. But the smiling faces and the stories of success assure us it’s worth the trip.
- 5. new horizons A T NEARLY 16 YEARS OLD, JACOB LOOKS LIKE HE belongs in the rugged, West Texas hill country in which he resides. Everything about the young man says “cowboy” — from his tall, slender build to the straw hat, Western shirt and larger-than-life belt buckle. Even his quiet, plainspoken demeanor suggests Jacob is Western, through and through. Having grown up on a small Arkansas farm, Jacob’s rural roots are echoed in the environment on Cal Farley’s residential campus at Boys Ranch. But in his two-and-a-half years at Cal Farley’s, Jacob has experienced things he never would have back home. “One of my favorite hobbies would be robotics,” he said, adding the equally sophisticated role of sound and lighting technician to his list of preferred activities. Cal Farley’s residents like Jacob can explore technical interests like these — among many others ranging from the agricultural to the artistic — as part of the Community- as-Lab program. It’s a philosophy that augments what Jacob and his peers learn in his school classrooms with hands-on learning and experimentation. (Learn more about Community- as-Lab and its positive impact on youth like Jacob on Page 8 of this issue.) “I actually wasn’t interested in (robotics) at first,” Jacob recalled. “I was messing with one of (Technology Coordinator Barre Wheatley’s) robots one day. It wasn’t working, and I got it to work … I’d never thought about robotics before.” But, once introduced to this fascinating new subject, Jacob was hooked. “It turned out … I had a great mind for robotics,” Jacob beamed. “I could fix problems, I could troubleshoot … I was just a whiz at that stuff.” It’s just the latest turn in what’s been a breathtaking journey for Jacob. He was born in Arkansas to a single mother from Oklahoma. When Jacob was still a toddler, his mother put him up for adoption, along with his younger brother. The boys lived in state care for a time, eventually being placed with Jacob’s adoptive parents. “Things went quite smooth for a while,” Jacob remembered, “until I was about 11.” The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 3 That’s when Jacob’s brother found himself in some trouble, which ultimately led to his being removed from the family and adopted by a family in Virginia. The separation proved to be a painful catalyst. “My life started going downhill,” Jacob said. “I started playing with fire, arson, guns ... stealing … and lying, too.” His academic life was no better. As a homeschooled student, Jacob had flexibility in his schedule, and he manipulated it to his full advantage. “Quite honestly, I wasn’t going to school. It was there, but it wasn’t a big thing in my life,” he said. “Sixth and seventh grades I pretty much skipped. I did nothing in them.” At Cal Farley’s, Jacob finds healing, unexpected opportunities (continued, Page 4)
- 6. 4 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup Jacob continued to seek out trouble, and began running away from home. He knew he needed to change, but how? “I’d been told by a judge, ‘If I see you again, one more offense, and that’s it, you’re going away,’” he said. Jacob sought help from a family friend who operated a sheep farm, and, while he enjoyed the environment, his troubling behavior nonetheless continued. On the advice of someone in their church, Jacob’s parents called Cal Farley’s for help. Soon, they were on their way to tour Boys Ranch. “I got told I was coming to interview at Boys Ranch when I was 13,” Jacob remembered. “I got accepted, and about June 30 of that year, I came out here to stay. That would’ve been around 2012.” At first, the decision only stoked his anger over losing his brother. “It surprised me,” he said. “I never thought they’d do anything like that ... I was pretty (angry) that they were just going to leave me out here like this. … A lot of the time, what was going through my head was ‘what parent would just leave their kid?’” After a few months at Cal Farley’s, though, Jacob was adjusting well to his new surroundings — and finding more positive challenges than getting away with theft. “That’s what got me into robotics and sports,” he acknowledged. “I love batting especially because it’s a challenge of taking a bat and hitting a ball — the right angle, the right speed. It’s a real challenge.” Among all the sports he enjoys with his peers, Jacob said baseball is his favorite. “It’s a sport I’ve always loved. I’ve always loved watching it,” he said. “I can throw — I like throwing. I’m really good at batting. I’m an outfielder and a first baseman.” Fun activities aside, Jacob said it’s also hard to look around at the opportunities Cal Farley’s affords him and then show disrespect to that. “I just think about what I’ve been given (at Boys Ranch),” he said. “Why steal from the people who are giving you the best?” And, to Jacob, “the best” includes positive relationships like he has with his houseparents at Craig Home. “I feel that if I ever needed something, or if I needed someone to talk to, I can talk to them,” he said, adding that the staff at Cal Farley’s has found a way to inspire his self-motivation. “I guess they see something in me,” Jacob said. There’s a lot to see — and a lot to be proud of. Jacob is learning to let go of his hurtful behavior, and is finding new challenges. Whether it’s building a robotic arm, a drone to carry cameras aloft or modeling positive relationships for his peers, Jacob is paving a path to a very successful future. A future in which he hopes to one day settle down and start his own family. “I want to be the role model people follow,” Jacob said, “because I didn’t really have a role model. … I want to be the role model that (my) kids want to follow.” Until then, Jacob plans to continue working hard in his last two years at Boys Ranch High School in order to prepare himself for the career he’ll ultimately choose. (Right now, robotics and welding are high on the list.) “I’m just trying to open up windows and doors,” he said, “opportunities for later in life.” Whatever he chooses, Jacob said he has Cal Farley’s — and the generous friends who support it — to thank for helping him succeed. He knows without their commitment to Cal Farley’s, his future would look very different. “So, I’m happy,” he said. “And thankful.”
- 7. Beauty from ashes W ILDFIRE! RESIDENTS OF THE AMERICAN WEST know all too well the unrelenting destruction these raging, uncontrolled infernos can wreak, destroying everything in their path and leaving a landscape seemingly forever marked by the scars. But after the fire comes rejuvenation. And, when life rises from the ashes, it brings unspeakable beauty to a land dominated by desolation. It’s a fitting metaphor for Melody’s journey. “Beauty from ashes … that’s kind of what this is,” remarked Melody’s mother, Carol. “That’s really what I see … a lot of beautiful things.” Smoldering embers MELODY, 17, CAN HARDLY RECALL A TIME WITHOUT THE BURNING destruction of family discord. Unbearably cramped and unkempt living quarters in the family’s Colorado home led to fights with her six siblings. Her father’s battle with alcoholism only escalated the bickering. At times, when her parents weren’t speaking, Melody said she and her siblings became intermediaries. The stress took a toll on everyone. “They fought, or didn’t talk,” Melody said, “so we were the communicators. It was just a crazy, unstable environment.” Melody shared a small room with two of her sisters. They slept on bunk beds, with Melody and one sister on the full- size bottom bed and their oldest sister on the top bunk. The tight confines forced Melody’s dresser into the hallway, next to what she described as stacks of papers and “piles of stuff.” Even Melody’s shared bed became too overrun with sundries to fit two children. “I slept on the couch a lot of my childhood,” Melody recalled. “I’d see my dad either yelling at my mom … or working until who knows when … I never really had a place to call my own.” Despite the overwhelming obstacles, Melody managed to stay fairly grounded. She struggled mightily to not let the emotional devastation overcome her. As a child, she had an escape at school. She found it enjoyable, and the structured environment gave her a balance to her frenzied home life. When she entered high school, that changed. Melody overcomes emotional wildfire to discover renewed purpose The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 5 PHOTO BY MELODY PHOTO BY MELODY
- 8. Ignition “I WAS A STRAIGHT-A STUDENT,” MELODY SAID, WISTFULLY, “BUT freshman year, when I had so much … homework overload, I just couldn’t do it.” Her safe haven was gone. “(School) used to be my escape,” she said. “I’d come home and it’d be chaos. I couldn’t do my homework, and kids started noticing. They started making fun of me for it … My teachers started getting frustrated with me — and I was just getting frustrated with myself.” At home, Melody and her siblings battled for time at the family’s lone computer to complete online course requirements, and Melody stayed up late every night to complete assignments. Desperate to help their struggling daughter, Melody’s parents enrolled her in an online homeschool program. It was an attempt to relieve pressure, but it failed. Bickering at home, intimidation from her family and peers, frustration and self- loathing over her perceived failures — the pressure grew to be too much. Melody was tormented, crushed. She was desperate for some measure of control over her life. She began to self-destruct, emotionally and literally. Fearful for her daughter, Carol took what action she could. “My mom took a leave of absence to try and help me,” Melody recalled. For her part, Carol said it was heart- wrenching to see her daughter suffer. “It was overwhelming to go through experiences like that,” she said, describing the enormity of the situation. It was like watching Melody die, a piece at a time. As the family battled the out-of-control emotional fire, life presented them with the real thing. In summer 2013, the Black Forest wildfire — the largest in state history — raged across central Colorado, taking two lives, destroying more than 500 houses and damaging scores of others, including Melody’s. “Our house was right at the hot spot of where it started,” Melody recalled with a shudder. “My grandma across the street, she lost everything.” While Melody’s family was spared the worst of the fire’s wrath, the damage to the house forced them out while repairs were made. “That made it even harder,” Carol said of the chaos, “because you’re out of the house for five weeks.” Where would everyone sleep? Will we really go back? Will we be homeless? A thousand questions raced through Melody’s mind. From the ashes MELODY’S FATHER, WHO WAS BEGINNING HIS OWN RECOVERY, had recommended her to a counselor he’d been seeing. Melody shared with her an idea — she could seek help away from the chaos of home. The counselor offered a solution. “I was like, ‘Cal who?’” Melody recalled with a chuckle. “The most important thing that caught my eye is that it was Christian-based,” Melody said. “I felt like it was the most hands-on program out there, where there are people to help you everywhere you go.” She’d seen enough. Melody made the call to Cal Farley’s herself. “I want what’s best for each of my kids,” Carol said. “It’s always hard to have them not with you all the time, but … I could see it was a place I could entrust her to — and people who really care.” Soon Melody was settling into life at Boys Ranch, a Cal Farley’s residential program. The caring staff worked to meet her emotional needs, but there was the matter of her academic progress, too. “I came here with five credits,” Melody said. “I was supposed to be a junior in high school. Knowing Melody would need at least 22 high school credits to graduate, Cal Farley’s enrolled her in STARR Academy, a specialized educational program at Boys Ranch that helps youth like Melody catch up, academically, to their peers. “It’s at your own pace, which I really loved,” Melody said. “It’s a great program to get you caught up, which was my situation … My motivation was very high (because) I didn’t want to ruin this opportunity that’d been Melody enjoys exploring her visual talents as part of the Boys Ranch Photography Club. She’s even considering incorporating it into her career plans. 6 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup See more online! Hear Melody and her peers tell their stories in their own words! Visit calfarley.org to view one of these exciting videos. SO WORTH IT: Melody and her mother, Carol, discuss the difference Cal Farley’s has made in her life. THROUGH THEIR EYES: View a slide show of the Boys Ranch Photography Club’s favorite photographs. UNLIKELY TEAM: Members of the photo club discuss the unique bonds formed at Cal Farley’s. PHOTO BY MELODY PHOTO BY MELODY
- 9. Hunter MelodyLexi Jayson ‘We freeze time’: Melody and her photo club peers enjoy capturing life at Cal Farley’s The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 7 given to me.” Just one year later, Melody has caught up — and more. She’s enrolled in dual-credit classes at Boys Ranch, allowing her to simultaneously earn college credit for her high school course work. “I’m a senior with all As,” Melody grinned. “I’m taking college classes, too!” More importantly, as Melody looks ahead to graduation in the spring, she is maintaining those grades and a healthy sense of balance. “(At Cal Farley’s), Melody saw what the well-balanced life was like … not staying up all night and working on academics,” Carol said. “That’s going to be a foundation for her as she goes out into the world. I’m glad she has that to take with her.” Melody also has a foundation of friends and a skill she’s considering making part of her career — photography. Brooke (continued, Page 8)
- 10. One of her friends, Jayson (December graduate, Page 14), introduced her to the Boys Ranch Photography Club, part of the Community-as-Lab program. “It’s a very close-knit group,” Melody said. “We’re all comfortable being ourselves. We all, obviously, share a passion for photography.” Each Thursday night, the photo club members meet with their staff adviser to learn technique, review photos or strengthen fundamental skills. As Melody described, in vivid detail, how she captured a close-up of a sunflower, Carol watched her daughter — and smiled. “She’s come back alive,” Carol observed. Melody nodded in agreement. She said God, through Cal Farley’s, saved and transformed her life. “I definitely think God brought me here,” she said. “I came from a broken and chaotic family environment. I felt like I wasn’t going to go anywhere or make anything of myself … Now, I’m getting my diploma and I’ll be able to provide for myself … I’m excited! I feel like I can go anywhere and do anything I want.” And, the mother and daughter agree the next steps in Melody’s journey are possible because of the dedicated people who support Cal Farley’s. “Cal Farley’s … is probably the best example of love being lived out,” Carol said, adding a message for those supporters. “You’re doing the right thing … you’re meeting kids right where they need help. “How could we ever repay them?” COMMUNITY-AS-LAB: Youth empowered to apply classroom concepts to real life CAN AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY BE A LEARNING ENVIRONMENT? In 2010, Cal Farley’s staff pondered how residents could extend science and arts learning outside the classroom. As they heal emotional wounds, youth also could develop hands-on skills to use in their future lives. The result was the development of the Community-as-Lab program. “Community-as-Lab is an effort to use the whole community as a learning lab for the youth,” said Cal Farley’s Executive Vice President Mark Strother. Essential to the program, Strother said, is understanding how the approach empowers residents by letting them make choices based on their interests. This helps engage them in their activities and shows them the power of their unique talents. “One of the main motivators in school,” Strother said, “is when you see the application in the real world. Getting residents involved in all of these things can motivate them back in math class, science class, history and writing.” Another way this highly accessible program benefits Cal Farley’s residents is through the positive relationships they develop as they learn from staff mentors and their peers. “They gain a sense of belonging, relationship,” Strother said. That’s a real key factor.” Xavier, 17, participates in the three-dimensional design lab, where he regularly sees his ideas come to life. A recent example is a series of computer tables Xavier and his peers designed and built from interlocking pieces of wood without using supporting hardware. Xavier said the skills he’s gained — turning a concept into a design, rendering it in 3D software and then physically creating it — are enjoyable, but they also helped him realize how the things he’s learning now lay the groundwork for his future. “It’s fun, but … you need knowledge to actually use it,” he said. Xavier said he recalled once — before his involvement in C.A.L. — asking his math teacher when he would ever use what he was learning in the real world. C.A.L. has given him the answer. “I use it (in the design lab) all of the time,” he said, “so, it’s really helpful in showing you what you’re going to do in life.” Xavier said his experiences in the C.A.L. program helped him decide what career he wants to pursue after Cal Farley’s. “I want to be (an) engineer,” Xavier explained. “If I wanted to make a chassis, I could 3D print one or make it using wood. And, I would apply those skills that I learn … here to make my goal and vision happen.” 8 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted … to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” — Isaiah 61: 1, 3 Xavier prepares a project in the design lab.
- 11. The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 9 Jason, 3D printing Rene, technology Sierra, garden Austin, field guide Elijah, recycling lab Dustin, Woodworking Youth make their ideas a reality by learning to render them in 3D design software, then bring them to life with a 3D printer. “(I like) the whole process,” Jason said. “It starts out as an idea in your mind that sometimes seems too complex to put down onto paper. And (then) there’s this satisfaction at the very end.” Learning how to grow organic vegetables lets residents discover cutting-edge farming techniques and see how these techniques are transforming an entire industry. “When we grow and produce crops, all of our (effort) is paid off,” Sierra said. “We’re giving it out to the homes (on campus) — that’s important to me.” Residents interested in making things with their hands, such as Dustin, who built a rocking bench, design and build projects that teach creativity and teamwork. “I’ve learned how to … make things correctly,” he said. “(I’ve learned that) I love hands-on (skills like) building and repairing.” Youth interested in the past learn about local figures and places, becoming woven into Cal Farley’s history and tradition. “I’m researching the history of the area of Boys Ranch,” Austin said. “I’m pretty big on history. I’m going to apply that to become an … archeologist.” Youth learn about resource preservation through renewable and non-renewable sources and apply it to local ecology. Eljah said he loves that he’s learning how to protect the environment. “You can make a big difference if everyone does their part,” he said. Problem-solving skills, self-confidence and out- of-the-box thinking all are benefits of learning the applicable sciences of rocketry and robotics. In the rural setting of our residential campus, Cal Farley’s staff help residents learn and explore cutting-edge ideas. “(I like) helping out others,” Rene said. “I want to work for NASA (because of) rocketry and astronomy.” C OMMUNITY-AS-LAB IS A FLEXIBLE, EVER- growing and adapting program that teams Cal Farley’s youth and trained staff members to explore residents’ unique interests and apply real- world experience to concepts and ideas learned in the classroom.
- 12. H APPILY MARRIED AND HAVING JUST given birth to her second child, LaTonya is proud of the path she’s chosen for her life. It’s a trajectory far removed from that of her youth. Like far too many children today, LaTonya began a journey she never would have chosen for herself. “Their relationship was very … unstable,” she said of her parents. “It was a very rocky relationship.” LaTonya recalled the violence that accompanied her father’s substance-abuse problems. When she was 6 years old, it became too much for her mother to bear. “In 1991, they split up and we moved to Oklahoma City.” But things didn’t get better. In fact, LaTonya said, that’s when life took a very dark turn. By the time she was 11 years old, LaTonya had experienced terror no child should ever have to face. Soon, her mother and her mother’s boyfriend were imprisoned. And, while LaTonya’s father regained custody, he was still fighting his own battles. As a result, LaTonya, her sister and their father moved in with her grandmother. The matriarch’s love for the girls was supreme, but the role of household provider was not a burden LaTonya moves past pain to find love, forgiveness Choosing A newdirection 10 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup
- 13. LaTonya’s grandmother was able to shoulder. “She (was) … pretty close to retirement, and she would walk (to work) every morning,” LaTonya recalled. “Trying to raise two kids who were (coping) with a traumatic event … it’s difficult on minimum wage. You just don’t have it, you’re not making it.” Between financial hardship and the lack of structure created by the necessity of her grandmother’s work, LaTonya was in very real danger of falling through the cracks. “(Grandmother) would try to get us up in the morning, but I just didn’t want to go to school,” LaTonya acknowledged. “So, my attitude — at 12 years old — became ‘well, I don’t care; why does it matter?’” Armed with a poor attitude about life, LaTonya quickly transitioned from skipping school to disappearing with friends for days at a time. “We’d skip school and go smoke … drink … those actions that kids tend to take when they’re at that point in their life that they just don’t care,” she remembered. Yet even as she proclaimed her apathy, LaTonya knew she was meant to walk a better road. “Inside, I … I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t want to do those things,” she said. “It was just more of a comfort thing … finding something to fill those voids.” Meanwhile, LaTonya’s grandmother had seen enough of her drifting through life without direction. She was familiar with Cal Farley’s through a distant relative. After calling to seek help, she shared the decision with her granddaughter. “I was ecstatic,” LaTonya said. “I knew that was the only opportunity I had to change my life.” And change it she did. “How do you describe moments like (coming to Boys Ranch)?” LaTonya said, comparing the change to having her first child. “Your life is about to change! How it changes is up to you.” LaTonya credits her nearly six years at Cal Farley’s not only with providing focus to her outgoing, risk-taking nature, but with literally saving her life. “(Without) the structure, the discipline,” she said, “I’d be dead … that’s the direction I was headed.” A person of faith, LaTonya said she believes Cal Farley’s was God’s way of intervening in her life. “I had prayed a lot — I was making (poor) choices, but I was praying that God would save me, protect me (from myself).” After graduation, one of LaTonya’s Boys Ranch mentors helped her locate an apartment and guided her through purchasing her first car as she prepared for college out of state. Initially, though, LaTonya’s university experience was short-lived, as her sister found herself in need of help. Determined to show the loyalty Cal Farley’s had taught her, LaTonya made the difficult choice to give up her Cal Farley’s scholarship and move home. She enrolled in a local college to work on core classes, and secured work at a nearby child services organization. “I worked … and started school, finally got back on track.” LaTonya said the idea of delayed gratification, instilled during her time at Cal Farley’s, helped her push through those early years of independence. “I was willing to make sacrifices, and I think that’s why I was successful …. There were times I didn’t have insurance on my car, so I rode my bike.” At first, LaTonya struggled a bit to balance the necessities of life and, knowing Cal Farley’s is supported by generous donors, she was hesitant to ask for more help. She’d viewed giving up her scholarship as wasting donors’ money, and she didn’t want any part of doing that. No, she decided she’d wait until she knew she could finish school. About a year later, she was ready and reapplied for scholastic assistance. “The first thing they asked me is, ‘What took you so long to ask?’” LaTonya laughed. “But, I wanted to make sure I was really committed. It’s not fair to come ask (for) this, if I’m … not going to be determined to finish.” With a renewed passion and the assistance of a Cal Farley’s scholarship, LaTonya charged through school, earning an associate’s degree, then her bachelor’s. In 2013, she completed her master’s degree in social work. “I can’t describe my life without (Cal Farley’s) being a part of it. It ... just dramatically changed my life.” The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 11
- 14. “Just sitting back, looking at how far (I’ve)comeisamazing,”LaTonyamarveled. It was while she was working her way through school that LaTonya met James, now her husband of nearly five years. The relationship literally was an answer to prayer. “I believed that God would always provide for me,” she said, describing how she prayed she would meet someone at the organization where she worked or a specific local store. As it turned out, both requests were answered. One night, as LaTonya was studying for final exams in the store she’d referenced, she approached the counter to purchase a cup of coffee. A co-worker walked in and, after exchanging some small talk, offered to pay for her coffee. They sat together as she studied, getting to know one another. Less than a year later, they were engaged. LaTonya said her experience at Boys Ranch prepared her for independence and gave her the communications tools to help her establish healthy relationships. But Cal Farley’s also places an emphasis on familial relationships, so what of her parents? Shortly before his death from cancer, LaTonya was able to rebuild her relationship with her father, who finally had overcome his addiction. “Love overtakes everybody …. I loved my dad,” she said. “And, at the end … everything was great, and our relationship had changed.” In 2012, LaTonya’s mother wrote her a letter about a prison program in which she was participating, and asked LaTonya to visit. Though there still was some hesitation, LaTonya wanted to deliver a message to her mother: You are forgiven. “I don’t know that I ever told her (before then),” LaTonya said. “And, until you let somebody know, it’s kind of hard for them to get it.” As LaTonya observed, she has come a very long way. Hers has been a journey through pain and anger into determination, love and forgiveness. And, LaTonya said, Cal Farley’s has shaped the woman she’s become — and remains a strong part of who she is, even today. “I can’t describe my life without (Cal Farley’s) being a part of it,” she said. “It … just dramatically changed my life.” “Just sitting back, looking at how far (I’ve) come is amazing.” Cal Farley’s believes every young adult should have the opportunity to pursue education beyond high school. The children we serve have walked some very broken roads in their lives, and, while each young person will choose a different educational path — college, post-graduate or trade school — Cal Farley’s works with each to form a plan that best prepares him or her for success. Kim Reeves, Cal Farley’s alumni support administrator, said her team diligently works to prepare residents for their transition from high school to independent life. “The first year is the hardest,” she said, but knowing he or she has the resources to attend college or trade school can make the transition a little easier. Cal Farley’s awards scholarships to alumni like LaTonya based on their individual needs and with the expectation of proper stewardship. As with all Cal Farley’s programs, our scholarships are not funded by state or federal monies, but represent the generous gifts from the many people who support our mission. “The scholarship fund provides access to those opportunities they might not have had otherwise,” Reeves said, noting that college tuition across the nation increases every year. “It’s (a tremendous investment, but) education and training can be the difference between somebody being part of the system or being independent.” Scholarships offer opportunities for independence 12 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup
- 15. The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 13 I T’S BEEN SAID THAT CHANGE IS THE only constant in life, but for many people that change is very difficult to accept. Such was the case for Brooke. Her parents had separated when Brooke was very young, and she’d lived for several years with her mother before eventually moving into her father’s home north of Austin, Texas. Brooke was trying to adjust to sharing a house with siblings. Then her father remarried. Not only did Brooke have to adjust to a new authority figure in the house, she also gained a new stepsister. “I’d been living with my dad for three or four years … I wasn’t used to having a stepmom,” Brooke said. “I wasn’t used to having brothers and sisters in the house, so I did anything I could to get attention.” The home grew again when her parents had a child of their own. For Brooke, it was too much. “Sometimes we’d have heart-touching moments, but most of the time it (was) just arguing,” Brooke recalled. “It was too many people in a small room.” Brooke felt lost in the crowd, and worse, resentful of her new stepmother. She said she occasionally tried talking to her father, but their schedules often conflicted. The bitter loneliness continued. “I was stealing, I was disrespectful to my parents. I did anything I could to get in trouble,” she said. “I was getting really bad grades. I wasn’t paying attention (at school).” Her stepmother found out about Cal Farley’s, and called for help. Julie Skarich, who works in Cal Farley’s Austin office, has worked closely with the family during Brooke’s time in our care. “Brooke’s parents have been very actively involved … during her placement,” Skarich said. “They continue to work very hard.” While Brooke settled in at Boys Ranch, a Cal Farley’s residential program where she said she was warmly welcomed by her houseparents and roommates, Skarich worked with Brooke’s family to help lay the groundwork for their eventual reunification. “They’ve done a lot of education on developmental levels,” Skarich said. “We’ve talked about making connections in the brain, and how kids make connections. Then, there’s been some conflict resolution.” While her family has been diligently preparing for the day she’ll return home, Brooke has been enjoying everything Boys Ranch has to offer a 14-year-old girl, and expressing her love for art. “I do arts and crafts in the home,” she said. “(Each resident has) their own little drawers for arts and crafts.” Brooke’s favorite activity, though, is horseback riding. “I love it, because it relieves stress,” she said. While such activities are certainly fun, each has a therapeutic purpose, helping a child learn to release troubling emotions and gain a better control over his or her own responses to situations. While Brooke has been with Cal Farley’s less than a year, Skarich said the healing taking place for this family is readily apparent. “Their willingness to work hard … to see the change in such a short period of time … This is really in the win column.” A family made whole and given new hope for the future — it’s the embodiment of Cal Farley’s philosophy: It’s where you’re going that counts! Brooke her family rebuild shattered relationships Accepting change
- 16. A FTER FACING THE CRISES THAT LED THEM TO Cal Farley’s, some children need time before developing a strong sense of individuality. Others arrive with a very developed identity, and need help learning how to apply their innate desire for independence. Jayson definitely falls into the latter category. “I just want to be my own person,” the December graduate noted. “I’m just living life, trying to catch up on what I missed.” What he missed is a healthy childhood. While Jayson’s early years are foggy, he recalls issues of substance abuse and instability. “I don’t remember a whole lot,” Jayson reflected. “(Our family) was me, my mom and dad, (my two sisters) and there were some people who came and lived with us on and off … I really didn’t understand a lot of what was going on.” Jayson recalled the day when he came to Cal Farley’s. He couldn’t know then that at Boys Ranch, a Cal Farley’s residential campus, he would find acceptance, belonging and a path to the independence he sought. December Graduates 14 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup JaysonHometown: Amarillo, Texas Residence: Pierce Home Hobbies: Photography, reading, music Length of stay: Seven years “My first houseparents out here … just took me in and I became part of the family. (They) taught me a lot about respect.” In addition to caring staff, Jayson made friends among his fellow residents, many of whom had similar backgrounds. He became particularly close with a young man named Devon. “He didn’t have a really good childhood, either. He learned really fast how to take care of himself, and I (thought) ‘Wow, I want to be like that.’” Seven years after coming to Cal Farley’s, Jayson is ready to do just that. He cited the houseparents and mentors at Cal Farley’s with helping him develop coping skills learned as a child into positive emotional outlets, such as portraying the world as he sees it through his passion for photography or developing his mind through music and literature. “I moved around a whole lot (before coming to Cal Farley’s). I read a lot then (as an escape),” Jayson said. Now, though, reading has become an engaging pastime. “I read even more now,” he said, adding that he often occupies himself with as many as six books at a given time. As Jayson leaves Boys Ranch, he does so knowing he’s ready — and that those he loves will be in good hands. “(Cal Farley’s staff) taught me how to be my own person. I used to be worried about my sisters. … (Now), I know they have a safe place to sleep, they have warm food, they have friends here their own age. … I know they’re going to be taken care of.” So what’s next for Jayson? Well, there’s choosing a college and course of study first. Beyond that, who knows? But, thanks to the photographic talents he developed as member of the Boys Ranch Photography Club, Jayson knows he has the skills for a professional career. “I would love to keep doing photography,” he said. “It’d be fun to get paid to do (that and) … to travel.” So, is it daunting, facing the next turn in his life’s journey? “I don’t want to end up behind some desk all of my life, all day, every day. I’d rather be out doing something.” Thanks to a determination honed at Cal Farley’s, it’s safe to say Jayson will be out there doing something — successfully.
- 17. VictorHometown: Brooklyn, N.Y. Residence: Johnson Home Hobbies: Basketball, video games Length of stay: Four years The Roundup | Cal Farley’s 75th 15 December Graduates B ROOKLYN, N.Y., IS A BUSY CITY, A PLACE WHERE numbers are everywhere — the number of people living in a small space, the number of buildings packed into a city block and even more numbers on taxis, marquees and streets. It’s also a place that offers endless choices — some good and some not so good. It’s in this environment that Victor spent the first 14 years of his life, where he began to find his interest for numbers. And, it’s where he began making some poor choices. Victor’s mother worried about him growing up in the busy city — about his safety, negative peer influences and that he might start selling drugs like other kids. With her busy work schedule preventing her from providing the kind of supervision she wanted, she worried he’d become another number, overcome by these bleak options and that he wouldn’t graduate from high school. As he got older, Victor’s behavior indicated such a future was likely. “I was getting in more trouble leading up to the time I came (to Cal Farley’s),” Victor recalled. “I wasn’t doing (well) in school. I just wasn’t applying myself.” Victor’s mother knew her son had what it takes to succeed; he just needed a healthier, more positive environment in which to grow. So, she made a choice that would change his life. She contacted Cal Farley’s for help. Four years later, Victor, 17, is a high school graduate and recognizes the invaluable change Cal Farley’s provided him by teaching him how to apply himself and helping him formulate a plan for independent life. “(Cal Farley’s has) strengthened my work ethic,” he said. “(I’ve come) from the bottom to the top, from being all over the place to knowing what I want to do (in life).” Don Hipp, the director of Cal Farley’s Transitional Living Program, said Victor’s participation in the vocational training program and other learning experiences have prepared him well for adulthood. “We worked with him on his educational and financial planning,” Hipp said. At Cal Farley’s, Victor learned more life skills, such as budgeting, how to read a pay stub and fill out his tax return, Hipp said. “We taught him job-seeking skills — how to complete a resume and do a good interview,” Hipp said. Victor said he is grateful for the opportunities he received at Cal Farley’s. After all, he clearly sees the dark direction he was headed in without Cal Farley’s help. “I don’t think I’d be going to school. I think I’d find it an obstacle,” he said. “School wouldn’t have been a priority of mine.” David Edwards, one of Victor’s houseparents, saw Victor’s growth firsthand. “Victor is very intelligent, (which) allowed him to pick up on what we do (at Cal Farley’s). He initially kept (to) himself, but he became one of the leaders in the home. He’s got a good plan because Cal Farley’s (helped) him,” he said. “I … have high hopes for him. I think he’ll be successful.” And, by encouraging Victor’s love of numbers, Cal Farley’s staff helped him see that interest in a new light — as a passion on which he can build a future when he starts college in the fall. “I love math and numbers. That’s my thing,” he said. “My major … (is going to be) business management, (I’m) hoping to become an accountant.” With a plan in place for his future, and a feeling of accomplishment for how far he’s come, Victor said he’s ready. “It feels great,” he said, “because now I know that I will have a better future.”
- 18. December Graduates C OMPLETING HIGH SCHOOL IS AN exciting time, a milestone promising new experiences, such as finding a job or going to college. It also means having faith in the opportunity it can provide. Andrew, 18, and a December graduate, said he had a similar experience coming to Cal Farley’s — a chance to create a brighter future and make positive memories while receiving the help he needed. Before coming to Cal Farley’s, Andrew said he felt lost in his gargantuan Arlington, Texas, school. “(I was) just a small fish in a giant pond,” he said. “I don’t think my grades would be what they are now. I was so stressed (before Boys Ranch),” he said, considering what his life might have become had Cal Farley’s not been there. “I would have never played a sport, never thrown a football.” Before coming to Boys Ranch about four years ago, Andrew said he likely appeared to be a normal boy to his teachers and peers. But they didn’t see his struggles at home, where he frequently found himself at odds with his parents and struggled to control his anger. “We could never get along. We always fought,” he recalled. “I knew … I needed help, as well as my family. And they realized that they could not handle me on their own.” Boys Ranch, a Cal Farley’s program, was that help — a place to learn how to deal with difficulties. “(Cal Farley’s) helped me realize that you’re going to have struggles,” he paused, “But the skills (Cal Farley’s is) going to help you learn (are) going to make those less hard to face.” MikeWhitecotton,aBoysRanchadministrator who took an active interest in Andrew’s life on campus, said Andrew’s experiences at Cal Farley’s have well prepared him for independent life. “He’s really smart,” Whitecotton observed. “I think his honesty and hard work and openness (will help him succeed).” At Boys Ranch, Andrew gained a new understanding of how his interests can help him shape a positive future for himself. As he explored the many Community-as-Lab and vocational training programs, Andrew gained hands-on experience that have helped him sharpen his skills and identify potential careers. “I want to be able to work with my hands,” he said, shaking his hands with conviction. “I want to be successful. I not only want to be happy, but love what I’m doing.” Having traded anger and fear for hope, Andrew plans to attend college in the fall. It’s a promising journey he’ll continue because Cal Farley’s supporters gave him a new path to follow four years ago. “Their generous donations have made a difference,” Andrew said. “I’ve always appreciated that it takes a lot of time and effort to put this place together and it couldn’t have been done without all of them.” 16 Cal Farley’s 75th | The Roundup AndrewHometown: Arlington, Texas Residence: Anderson Home Hobbies: Football, working with his hands Length of stay: Four years
- 19. 800-687-3722 www.calfarley.org For more than 75 years, the loyal support of friends like you has helped Cal Farley’s transform lives. Your unwavering commitment to our mission has helped us become one of the nation’s largest privately funded child and family service organizations and a leader among our peers. But, more importantly, it’s helped us reach even more families who need our help. For all you do, thank you! Thank YOU for YOUR continued SUPPORT
- 20. IN 1939, ALVIS GRANT BECAME ONE OF THE FIRST boys to live at Boys Ranch. There, he learned self-discipline, respect and determination. Little did he know the seeds planted 75 years ago in the dusty hills of the Texas Panhandle would help guide his choices as he grew to become an accomplished artist, a military veteran and a beloved father and grandfather. Just as it did in 1939, Cal Farley’s continues today to instill the values of faith, integrity and self-confidence. It’s these time-honored ideals, presented in a safe, nurturing environment, that equip young people to set a new, positive course for their lives. Our work lasts a lifetime 800-687-3722 www.calfarley.org artist veteran cal farley’s alumnus