AA Steps 7 9 Presentation

Steps 7, 8, and 9 Aaron Sorg Deanna Bridge Kevin Moyer-Wilkes AA & Al-Anon 12 Steps

A Modern Take on the Steps Many of the 12 steps can be applied to those who have not been affected by alcohol addiction The steps are widely applicable and can be found in everyday modern society in music, movies, TV and other media These are “updated” versions of steps 7-9 presented in a paraphrased/modernized context

Step 7 Humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings

When all seems lost for Bruce... Example of Step 7: Bruce Almighty

Step 7 Step seven of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps to Serenity is often seen as the simplest of the steps. It can be, however, the most difficult because of one word, humility. Having true humility is difficult for most people, much less an addict whom, up until beginning the steps was in denial of a having a problem.

The Controversy of God? “ For some, spirituality is the metaphysical as embodied in others and in nature. Central to these views is the acceptance that humans are not complete and sufficient unto themselves but are empowered and alive in relation to some energy or substance beyond themselves.” (Bristow-Braitman, 1995) “ Proposed Step 7: I am proud of my strength and ability to grow.” (Le, Ingvarson, & Page, 1995)

Testimony from Melinda. (Taken from the Twelve Steps to Serenity Web site) The 7 th step prayer as read by Melinda. “ My creator, now I am willing that you should have all of me. God, I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.” http://www.12step.org/Step-7.html

A Song for Step 7 “ In the Light” by DC Talk I keep trying to find a life on my own, apart from You I am the king of excuses I've got one for every selfish thing I do What's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior This only serves to confirm my suspicions That I'm still a man in need of a Savior I wanna be in the Light, as You are in the Light I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation Cause all I want is to be in the Light. All I want is to be in the Light The disease of self runs through my blood. It's a cancer fatal to my soul Every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control Tell me, what's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior. This only serves to confirm my suspicions that I'm still a man in need of a Savior Honesty becomes me [There's nothing left to lose] The secrets that did run me [In Your presence are defused] Pride has no position [And riches have no worth] The fame that once did cover me [Has been sentenced to this Earth] Has been sentenced to this Earth

Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all . Step #8

The Parts of Step 8 Part A: Make the list Harm—”…the result of instincts in collision in which we cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people.” (A.A. World Services, Inc., 2002, pp. 83)

Who do I make amends to? People you have harmed since you sobered up, and whom you might still be harming today. People who tell you that you have harmed them, and want restitution. All other persons you think you have harmed, especially those you feel bad about. (During steps 4 and 5, a preliminary list of persons we had harmed was already generated – moral self inventory & admit) (A.A., 2001; A.A. World Service Inc., 2008; Big Book Bunch, 2000)

Types of “harm” Physical/Material harm Owe $, cheating, unpaid alimony, criminal offenses Anti-Social harm Slander, discrediting others, dishonoring family Emotional harm Extramarital affairs, dead relationships, cold, callous, irritable, selfish sexual conduct Disruptive harm Inconsiderate habits, lying, home in turmoil, dominating others, dishonesty, wallowing in self pity/depression General harm Disturbing others, injuring others, wretched conduct, foolishness or absurdity while drunk, hurting others

Step 8 List How to make your list: List the person harmed , the harm done , the nature of the amend to be made (including the dollar amount, if any) and the amendment priority or projected date. Leave two columns for the date completed and comments about their reaction to our amendment (Big Book Bunch, 2000). 6/30/08 6/1/08 Date Completed 6/4/08 7/1/08 Cookie Monster Ronald McDonald Person Accepted apology & cookies. Ate cookies voraciously. Apologize & offer freshly baked cookies Stole cookie Confused, but accepted apology & cup Apologize & buy him a sport cup Kicked in groin Reaction Date Due Amends Harm done

An easy formula for making amends?

…maybe not. Make sure you aren’t doing do further harm!

“ If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result. In 9 out of 10 cases, the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own faults, and longstanding feuds melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally, they will offer assistance.” (A.A., 2001, pp. 78). Part B: Prepare self to make amends

A Song for Step 8 Parody of “Confessions Part III” by Usher As performed by Weird Al Yankovich These are my confessions: Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with, then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you) I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic zirconium, I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)

“ Confessions” cont. My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget! These are my confessions: Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry. These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions

Example of Steps 8 + 9: South Park Eric Cartman makes a list of his sins and makes amends...

Step 9 Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others.

Step 9 Interpretation: I will take direct action to help others in any way that I can. Step 9 extends Step 8 by taking the willingness to make amends and converting it into the act of actually doing so. Emphasis on helping all people, regardless of whether they have been the victims of our past wrongs, might help to move a person out of the past and into the present. Adlerian goal of therapy as "to release people's social interest so they may become fellow human beings, cooperators, contributors to the creation of a better society, people who feel they belong to and are at home in the universe“ http://www.unhooked.com/sep/aacouns.htm

“Sorry, Blame it On Me” by Akon As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don't want to take responsibility for I'm sorry for the times I left you home I was on the road and you were alone I'm sorry for the times that I had to go I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know That you were sitting home just wishing we Could go back to when it was just you and me I'm sorry for the times I would neglect I'm sorry for the times I disrespect I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done A Song for Step 9 I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware That you can't sleep at night when I am not there Because I am in the streets like everyday Sorry for the things that I did not say Like how you are the best thing in my world And how I'm so proud to call you my girl I understand that there are some problems And I am not too blind to know All the pain you kept inside you Even though you might not show If I can apologize for being wrong Then it's just a shame on me I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

My Name Is Earl Example of Steps 8 + 9: Earl's Introduction

How to Identify a Drunk Driver… ...Reno 911-style

Annotated Bibliography Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Incorporated. (2002). Twelve steps and twelve traditions. Center City, MN: Hazelden. Used as a guide for AA members around the world, this insightful book describes and explores the principles by which AA has proved successful for alcoholics in recovery. Although it was originally published in 1952, this book has been updated throughout the years. It is designed to help clarify and explain the 12 steps and 12 traditions of AA for those interested in gaining a deeper and fuller understanding of the 12 step model. Bristow-Braitman, A. (1995). Addiction Recovery: 12-step programs and cognitive-behavioral Psychology. Journal of Counseling & Development, 73, 414-418. This article is short but informative. It provides the reader with some base knowledge about 12-step programs in general, and outlines the controversy that exists between step programs and empirically-based counseling research and practice. Klein, E. L. (1993). 201 things to do while you’re getting better (at home or in the hospital): How to successfully cope with boredom and pain without losing your sanity . Minneapolis, MN: Chronimed. This is a great book for preventing boredom and refocusing on areas other than one’s illness. This can be helpful even for those who are laid off, on summer vacation, or looking for fun activities. It includes material on games, riddles, meditations, and how to talk to loved ones about your illness.

Annotated bibliography cont… Kushner, H. S. (1996). How good do we have to be?: A new understanding of guilt and forgiveness (7th ed.). Boston: Little, Brown & Company. Rabbi Kushner is best known for his book, When bad stuff happens to good people, however, this book is more appropriate for individuals who have personally fought with addiction or have experienced addiction in their family. He does a wonderful job of analyzing religion and how it can negatively affect one’s life. He then takes the reader on a journey of personal forgiveness and acceptance of faults, in an effort to improve relationships. Le, C., Ingvarson, E. P., & Page , R. C. (1995). Alcoholic’s Anonymous and the Counseling Profession: Philosophies in conflict. Journal of Counseling & Development , 74 , 603-609. This was an interesting article highlighting the differences the authors found between the philosophies taught by AA and those held by most professional counselors. It is concise and easy to read and holds a less than mainstream consensus on the applicability of AA’s 12 steps in traditional AOD counseling. It proposes alternatives for each of the 12 steps that are more in line with counseling philosophies. Rosengren, J. (2003). Big book unplugged: A young person’s guide to Alcoholics Anonymous. Center City, MN: Hazelden. Authored by a member of AA, this book was written with the intention of helping teens and young adults find common ground in AA’s “Big Book,” which has often been known as a dated text. In this updated and concise book, each chapter of the “Big Book” is presented and explained in fresh, blunt language. Through its pages, the simplified content is applied in simple and sometimes humorous ways to issues and roadblocks that many teens deal with such as feeling invincible, giving in, spirituality, and other concerns.

References AAbibliography.com. (2008). 12 step AA acronyms and 12 step slogans. Retrieved July 2, 2008, from http://www.aabibliography.com/12_step_acronyms_and_12_step_slogans.htm Alcoholics Anonymous. (2001). Alcoholics Anonymous: The story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism (4th ed.). New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Incorporated. (2002). Twelve steps and twelve traditions. Center City, MN: Hazelden. Big Book Bunch. (2000). Taking the twelve steps. Retrieved July 3, 2008, from http://www.sober.org Bristow-Braitman, A. (1995). Addiction Recovery: 12-step programs and cognitive- behavioral Psychology. Journal of Counseling & Development, 73, 414-418. Carlson, R., & Carlson, K. (1995-2007) Don’t sweat the small stuff (Books 1-13) . New York: Hyperion. Garcia, G., Buckland, M., & Palmer, T. (Producers). (2005-2008). My name is Earl [Television series]. New York: NBC. Klein, E. L. (1993). 201 things to do while you’re getting better (at home or in the hospital): How to successfully cope with boredom and pain without losing your sanity . Minneapolis, MN: Chronimed. Kushner, H. S. (1996). How good do we have to be?: A new understanding of guilt and forgiveness (7th ed.). Boston: Little, Brown & Company.

References continued… Le, C., Ingvarson, E. P., & Page , R. C. (1995). Alcoholic’s Anonymous and the Counseling Profession: Philosophies in conflict. Journal of Counseling & Development , 74 , 603-609. Retrieved July 7, 2008, from Unhooked Science Readings Web Site: http://www.unhooked.com/sep/aacouns.htm McKeehan, T. (1995). In the light. On Jesus freak [CD]. Hoboken, NJ: ForeFront Records. Melinda. (Speaker). (2008). Sobriety, strength and serenity (Audio MPEG File No. ISO-8859-1). Retrieved July 6, 2008, from Big Book Step Study Alcoholics Anonymous Web site: http://www.12step.org/Step-7.html Niven, D. (2001). The 100 simple secrets of happy people: What scientists have learned and how you can use it . New York: HarperCollins. Parker, T. (Writer/Director), & Stone, M. (Director). (2005). The death of Eric Cartman [Television series episode]. In T. Parker, & M. Stone (Producers), South Park . New York: Comedy Central. Rosengren, J. (2003). Big book unplugged: A young person’s guide to Alcoholics Anonymous. Center City, MN: Hazelden. Shadyac, T. (Producer/Director). (2003). Bruce almighty [Motion picture]. United States: Universal Pictures.

References cont… Simonds, R. (Producer), & Davis, T. (Director). (1995). Billy Madison [Motion picture]. United States: Universal Pictures. Thiam, A. B. (2007). Sorry, blame it on me. On Konvicted [CD]. New York: Universal Records. Yankovic, A. M. (2006). Confessions part III. On Straight outta Lynwood [CD]. Atlanta, GA: Volcano Records.

AA Steps 7 9 Presentation

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AA Steps 7 9 Presentation