Asgmnt 2 reading final
- 1. lec BIK3023 – READING SKILLS ASSIGNMENT 2 – TEXT ANALYSIS LECTURER PUAN LEELA CHAKRABARTY NAME MATRIK CONTACT NUMBER NUMBER/GROUP NURHAFIZAH BINTI D20102040807 019 -7166070 AJLAN 019 - 5173776 GROUP UPSI 03 1
- 2. NO CONTENT PAGE 1 ARTICLES/TEXTS 3-8 2 ANALYSIS 8 - 10 3 GRAPHIC ORGANIZERS 11 - 12 4 REFERENCES 13 2
- 3. ARTICLE 1 Arranged Marriage? What is it? Arranged marriage is a marriage upon which two or more parties arrange a marriage between two persons. The parties arranging a marriage may pick suitors based upon financial security, religion, upbringing, health, and many other things. These parties may be the parents of the unwed person, or matchmakers. Typically, the parent/matchmaker makes note of potential spouses for their daughter/son/client. The two families may meet and the unwed persons decide whether or not to pursue getting to know each other. If so, there may be another meeting, or the two families may make a bond and the engagement is complete! An unwed person may go through many potential spouses until choosing one they like. Though sometimes called forced marriage, traditional arranged marriages do not happen unless the unwed consent. This type of marriage is predominantly practicing in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, but it is in many parts of the world- even those you would not expect. It is both a celebrated tradition and a cultural taboo, but either way you look at it, there are both benefits, downsides. The traditional type of marriage in the west is arranged between the two unwed persons by themselves. Family usually plays a signifigantly lower role in the unwed's marriage choice. The unwed persons may know eachother for a very long time until deciding to marry. So, between these two types of marriage, one must wonder- which one is best? Arranged Marriage In the West Arranged marriage, in the west, is a very thought-provoking topic. In most situations, arranged marriage in the US is a very foreign concept, and many do not understand why a person would choose to marry someone they have not been with very long, if at all. The thought that persons may have families or matchmakers help choose spouses on basis on so many aspects often is met with distaste and confusion, if not hate. Why is this? American culture values personalization, independece, and most importantly, the freedom to do almost anything. With this, eventually comes the desire to pursue relationships as wished. SInce allowed, relationships before marriage are highly normal and one may be in love many times over. The relationship before marriage gives personalization and comfort to the situation, The normality to have many partners and 'move on' from them brings independence, and the freedom to choose anyone to wed, 3
- 4. even if their families do not agree or their life situation isn't quite as good is very appealing to the generations of today's western societies. There is nothing Americans love more than their freedom, and they are always willing to fight for it. If we look at the US's history, we will see various alterations and forms of arranged marriage. A prominent example would be in the 1950's, where girls often aimed to marry financially secure, handsome and respected men with good families and good records. Though also incorporating love before marriage, the 50's marriage norms were very much like arranged marriages, where if the families disagreed, it would not happen. That isn't to say some didn't elope, though. As the concept of freedom and American culture advanced, so did the concept of marriage sole on personal choice. This does not mean that all in the west are opposed to arranged marriage, and some even aim for it. It even exists in subtle forms- We still see today, women eyeing the single doctor, and chasing after rich tycoons- it's all over television and films, where the most appealing characters are the richest, most intelligent, or most trustworthy, and people flock to them because of it. Arranged marriage- the benefits Arranged marriages can be a very happy time in someone's life- and for the rest of it. There are a number of considerable benefits, each of them important to leading a stable, good life. A few of the benefits correlating to arranged marriages are, if the right suitor is chosen: • financial security. Families/matchmakers try and choose suitors who are secure and well-off in finances, which ensures that money will be something that is always able to be gained in the case of an emergency or other such events. • cultural and/or religious understanding. Many times, the arranged spouses descend somewhat from the same type of culture, or share the same religion. This ensures that the spouses understand one another's lifestyles, and it gives common ground and belonging to the betrothed. In some cases, this preserves the cultural and religious identity of the persons and allows them to express it as they wish. • avoidance of pre-marriage relationships/courtship. In some cases, people are very averse to the often awkward and time-consuming tango of dating and courtship. Arranged marriages often eliminate the years many waste dating multiple persons, and allow persons to find a good spouse without the need to do so. • encouragement of abstinence. As is common in american culture, many indulge in relationships in which there is fornication before marriage, or without the intent of marriage at all. Arranged marriages encourage abstinence, eliminating the possibility of later guilt and remorse from previous 'relations'. This sets a good example for other family members and children, and may lower one's chances of contracting veneral disease. • incompatibiliy is greatly lowered. Because of the many factors that go into choosing partners for an arranged marriage, compatibility is usually very good with all the areas taken into consideration (education, crime record, family, religion, etc.). Partners are arranged based of the similarities of these areas. The similarity 4
- 5. between the two partners ensures that they understand each other, and are able to live comfortably as they have always been accustomed. • divorce is more unlikely. Because of the similarities and matchings between the two spouses, divorce is more unlikely to happen due to irreconcilable differences or disputes, as in many arranged marriages they both have the same veiws on marriage and family- and may share the same culture, religion and more. There is then little left to dispute and differentiate about and the spouses can focus on each other rather than their differences. In many situations, the insight given by the parents/matchmaker on the future spouse and the willing consent of the unwed person to marry a selected partner stregthens the marriage, as all are happy with the choice and the instincts of the parents are good. • trust in in-laws. Though in-laws are usually depicted as unlikable, nosy relatives in popular american film, in arranged marriages, in-laws can be very supportive and close to the new relatives. Since the entire family tends to give input on prospective spouses for their family members, once a spouse is found and they wed, both families then become united by the marriage and are then one, for they are both happy and pleased with their new relatives. If not, then the two partners would have never married. There is a saying in arranged marriages, that a woman marries the family, not just the groom. This can be a very good thing, for the newlyweds can then depend on and trust their new families if needed, and there is always help if the spouses are having troubles, for a family member can always step in and help to resolve the problem. This can mean that when going to family parties, there is no awkward silence between in-laws, and everyone is happy to see one another. • equality. In matching spouses, some very important factors are generally met equally. Equality/similarity in education, financial situation, and other things is very good. For example, an arranged marriage could be stressed if one spouse earned the gist of the income, as it would pressure the other to earn more or cause them to feel dependent. Education, matched properly, could help so the partners feel equal in intelligence, therefore eliminating a stress or pressure of being 'dumb' or illiterate. Also, both being educated, the spouses are most likely to be equally rational and sensible in raising children or dealing with some issues. Those were simply a few of the benefits to arranged marriage, and one must hope to achieve some level of these benefits. There are many others, depending on where you reside in and which culture you pertain to. Arranged marriage- the disadvantages Of course, with every advantage, there is a disadvantage. A few disadvantages do pertain to arranged marriages, and one must be careful to avoid them. Disadvantages may include: • dependence/ inablility to choose a partner. In some cases, when parents or elders help to choose a partner, it discourages the unwed person to think for themselves and consider whether or not they believe they would be compatible. In the case of this, if after a few years of marriage, if it is going unwell, it is easy for that person to then blame their parents for poor judgement. 5
- 6. • families too close for comfort. Some arranged marriages, in the case of which spouses are in an argument, it may be uncomfortable or odd for the families to become involved in situations otherwise better solved sole by the partners. Especially for those raised in the west, it may be strange or even stressful for the families to have too much of their noses in their business, even more so when they express their own views in the situation. • love becoming the second most important thing. In arranged marriages, there is a saying, to think with your head and not your heart. Yet, it is important to think with both. Spouses who think only with their head may end up realizing there is no emotional compatibility, and those who think only with their heart may end up realizing they do not have a stable future. Although love may come later, it is important to secure a stable future. Sometimes the spouses are in love at meeting, at marriage, or later. Love sometimes blossoms later and when it does, only stregthens the marriage and make the spouses happier. However, in the case where love does not blossom, help can be sought- and if nothing can be done, then the marriage was not right somehow. Marriage- for better or for worse Marriage is a very special and joyous part of many people's lives, and can bring together entire families or nations- as it has done and kept doing so in the past and into the future. When one decides they want to marry sometime in life, it can be very stressful or exciting- and all they must do is choose how. As with any kind of marriage, all are blessings in their own way and I wish luck to all who are about to marry or married! Salaam and god bless. Arranged Marriage- my personal beliefs II believe that all sorts of marriage are suitable and joyous- but I think that certain types of marriage are for certain people. I am an advocate for myself to pursue an arranged marriage, and I wish to marry a Muslim man before I am twenty-three years old. However, even though I am Muslim, my family is predominantly Christian, therefore I will be pushing for them to participate with a matchmaker to find me prospective partners. I also plan to marry after having established a career of writing novels and being an anthropologist. Hopefully, Insha'allah, I will have children soon after marriage. Marriage is a very joyous part of life, and I sincerely hope that everyone going through it, arranged or not, lives happily and well. Salaam and god bless. 6
- 7. Article 2 Love marriage Love marriage is a recent phenomenon if we compare the history of arranged marriage and marriage based on love. Though marriage based on love is a recent phenomenon with a history of just 200 years, its acceptance has been phenomenal especially in the western liberalized world. Now the trend is also slowly catching up in the traditional societies of the east. We can define marriage based on love as a union of two individuals based upon affection and a mutual attraction. In romantic language this phenomenon of mutual attraction and affection is called as love and this is the foundation and basis for all marriages based on love. Love marriages are in fact great platform for young people to find their life partners based on mutual liking and compatibility. These marriages also offer the chance of courtship where the couple come to know each other well and then they decide whether they need to get married or not. Love marriage: The bonding of love in marriage The biggest advantage of love marriage is the bonding and affection that is established between the couple before the marriage. This does not happen in one day but it develops over time and then we say that the individuals have fallen in love with each other. Falling in love is an essential perquisite for all love marriages. Scientifically it has been discovered that falling in love alters our biochemical state and individuals in love yearn to be together and share the most intimate things about their lives with the loved ones. As love develops the people in love tend to become accommodative and supportive to the needs of each other and in fact they try to complement each other in all possible ways. Adjustments are made and negative traits in the individuals are overlooked or underplayed. It has also been seen that people who are in love share a high amount sexual tension between themselves. So we can safely assume that the bonding based on affection, mutual attraction and care when continues unhindered for some time then it can lead to marriage and this is what we call as love marriage. Love Marriage: The positives of marriage based on love The most important positive point of marriage based on love is that it is based on the foundation of mutual attraction, affection, care and personal choice. Love marriage gives the individuals the freedom to choose their partners and live a life based on their own individual will. It also teaches them to be supportive and accommodative to each other. The beauty of love marriage is the love that exists between the individuals. The love among the two individuals also becomes the basis for strong sexual attraction which is 7
- 8. more than the feeling of lust. When people in love have sex, it leads to emotional fulfilment and development of trust between each other. In fact the feeling is of giving and sharing at every level. Further this strong bonding called as love helps the couple overcome life’s tough circumstances and challenges. Even in the toughest of situations the couple stay together and face the challenges of life as a team. Overtime this experience of sharing the good and tough moments of life together helps them to cement their relationship at a higher pedestal involving the physical, mental and spiritual faculties. Love marriage: Negatives of marriage based on love As there are positives and advantages of marriage based on love there are also negatives of love marriage against which precautions have to be taken. First of all the biggest truth is that only a marginal percentage of love affairs actually culminate into actual marriage. Falling in love may happen as a sudden phenomenon without any forewarning and similarly breaking of a love affair can take place very rapidly. This may happen even without a valid and concrete reason. The fickleness of love is the biggest disadvantage and negativity of marriage based on love. It is true that maximum number of divorces take place in love marriages. The reason given for divorce in majority of the cases is as trivial as the lack of love between the individuals. This is despite the fact that the couple got married in the first place because of their love for each other. So it is important to understand whether you are in real love or it is just a crush or infatuation. It is better to have a long courtship period rather than burning your fingers by getting into a hasty marriage. Then there are imposters and cheaters in this world who pretend to be in love but in actuality they may be after your money and property. Sometimes the truth is known only after the marriage. So keep a check on yourself and keep relationships and friendships with only those people who are of your circle. This may help you guard against cheaters and imposters. Love marriage can be especially tough for individuals coming from traditional cultures and societies. Here the problem gets compounded as the couple does not get any support from their families and most of the times the immediate families become openly hostile to the marriage. So in these circumstances it is better to take your parents and relations into confidence before getting into a matrimony which is based on love. Further it would be prudent to have a realistic check on the financial position before getting into a marriage based on love. It would be advisable that people who are in love postpone their marriage till a time they are earning enough to sustain a family. In today’s circumstances a love marriage can only survive if both the individuals are financially sound and are earning members. Otherwise all love will be lost in quick time managing the harsh conditions of today’s world. So finally I would say that there is nothing wrong in falling in love and getting married based on love but the most important point is to use your head and intelligence to nourish your love life so that it can last forever. Article by Sanjay Nair 8
- 9. ANALYSIS 1. The issues being discussed are arranged marriage versus the love marriage. The writer emphasizes on the advantages of arranged marriage compare to love marriage. He intended to say that an arranged marriage is basically based upon financial security, religion, health and so on. And commonly it is involving two or more parties arranging the marriage between two person. Generally, it could be from families, friends or other people around the pairs. 2. The writer also feels that arrange marriage is not really agreed by the people who come from the West because it is a very thought provoking topic. This is because freedom of choosing their life partner is the main focus or subject for them. 3. He also uses his personal comments or opinion and referring to the historical of specific country such as United States to show the beginning of arranged marriage practicing. He also expressed that people from US especially the girls are often aimed to be married with somebody who are financially secure, handsome and respected men with good families background. These things are very important for them. This shows that not all the people from the West totally disagree with the arranged marriage. 4. According to the writer, he feels that there are a lot of advantages of arranged marriage for the pairs especially in financial security, cultural understanding and in socializing aspect that is to avoid the pre-marriage relationships. 5. Next, the second article is telling about love marriage. Love marriage is a trend of new era which is involving the feeling of two people to get to know each other. Referring to statements done by the writer, love marriage is a strong bonding to show the love between them. In this situation, adjustments and adaptation are there because they already know each other and they are free to choose their own life partner. 6. By the way, the writer is stating that there are a lot of disadvantages of love marriage. It is mainly about time consuming to get to know the life partner and 9
- 10. this is one of the reason why do they need time to get married ( late marriage ). The writer feels that there is a confusion between love and crush/infatuation. And, sometimes there are a lot of people who are pretending to be in love but the reality is they are actually seeking for money, properties and wealth. 7. In my opinion, the argument is very clear and fair. The writer presented both sides of perception between arranged and love marriage which are commonly happen in our society. Personally, I feel that the writer is being natural ( not biased ) to any side. This can be seen from the way he wrote the article by showing all the pros and contras of arranged and love marriage. 8. Frankly to say that, I agree with the love marriage because to me, freedom to choose our own life partner is very important . It is about future life of the person to live forever with the beloved one. Based on my own experience, I am the one who really think that love and feeling are important element to run a good and happy life with our partner. 9. But, as conclusion, generally the types of marriage are not the main issues. What the most important is the way how the people handle their life with their own partner with matured thinking style and take all the circumstances of marriage in a positive way. 10
- 11. Compare and Contrast Graphic Organizer Arranged marriage Love Marriage http://clvb.hubpages.com/hub/Arranged- http://www.rise-of-womanhood.org/love- Marriage--Why-or-Why-not marriage.html SIMILARITIES Marriage is a situation where the love and feeling should be there Does not matter whether the partners are from the arranged or love marriage Hoping to get a joyful and happy life with their life partner. -Arranged marriage is not based - Love marriage is stressing on on feelings only but based on feeling and loving each other cultural, financial security, ( between the life partner ) properties, socializing aspects ( to DIFFERENCES avoid from pre-marriage relationship ) > Pertaining to the historical of the - strong bonding between them states or cultural. So, need time for because they already know each adjustment and adaptation each other before getting married other. 11
- 12. ARRANGED MARRIAGE ARRANGED MARRIAGE ADVANTAGES Respecting the match Strong bonding between makers’ decision/decision the partners. Pre marriage relationship can Love and feeling are there be avoided Freedom of choosing life Financial security partner Encouragement of Love is the thing that make abstinence them strong to face all the circumstances Low risk of incompatibility DISADVANTAGES Fickleness of love Dependence and inability to choose life partner Circumstances to face the families supports ( from Families are too close to both side ) comfort High risk of facing the Love becomes the second cheaters who are most important thing pretending to love 12