[Challenge:Future] How I failed to parent myself properly at one point?
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Stefan reflects on 2013, a year of both successes and failures. He graduated, got a job and promotion, and travelled to several countries. However, he also failed to properly care for himself after a relationship ended. In the months following the breakup, he dedicated no time to processing his emotions and was constantly busy with work and school. As a result, his performance and concentration began to suffer. His biggest failure, he realizes, was not taking the time to "parent himself" during this difficult period. The lesson, he says, is to never forget to keep trying new things and moving forward, even when life is hard, and to remind himself to properly care for his mental well-being.
[Challenge:Future] How I failed to parent myself properly at one point?
- 1. MY BEST FAIL STORY OF 2013 How I failed to parent myself properly at one point in 2013? Submission by Stefan Alievikj
- 2. What was 2013 about for me? What happened in 2013 are all events, moments that I would for sure discuss still 10 years from now, 20 years.. Maybe until the rest of life 2013 was the year when I graduated, when I got a job before graduation and then got promoted, 2013 is the year when I travelled 4 countries, attended amazing youth events, and visited amazing cities: Bled, Brussels, Maribor, Zagreb, Sarajevo… it was also the year I failed to maintain a healthy relationship.. And there was this few-months period when I dedicated 0 time for myself
- 3. Events: February 2013 It’s the heat period… C:F competitions and we are all brainstorming. Did you know that I though of “dream job instructors” at the point I was breaking up a relationship? It was later on when we developed the idea with my teammates about what these DJIs would be? February 2013… final semester at university…. It was a start of a time-consuming reading list of novels, theory, critics… Also here was my job: editor at Mladiinfo and constantly searching and proof-reading information on free educational opportunities. Also, living with roommates and renting an old-furniture apartment was an every day challenge. At one point we had these awful cockroaches even and we were the ones to deal with the issue…or when I was showering and I saw the bathroom flooding The point is: there were so many things ONGOING.. Things simply happen and happen and happen…
- 4. Consequences: March-May Wanting to take on with everything (and there was always something to do, always a homework to do, always a post to check, always something to fix…) I was forgetting or denying that I should dedicate a little time for myself. That I need to go carefully through my emotions and see what happened… why this break-up happened? And as I was trying harder and harder to control everything, I started to lose concentration, to write bad papers for university, to make mistakes with my job… in one word I was becoming less efficient. Our C:F submission for the finals was weak, although our team placed 3rd in semi-finals. We could have all played better
- 5. What was the failure? Looking at February-June period from distance, I can conclude one thing: I FAILED TO PARENT MYSELF PROPERLY I believe that no matter how much work there is, if you don’t take the break and call friends and go out and open yourself to other and new experiences, you will just start to fail getting better at what were you doing awesomely before. And yes, those few months were halt for my development. Lesson learnt the harder way
- 6. Therefore, one thing: no matter how hard it might be sometimes, don’t forget to keep on moving, to keep on trying out new things. I know I knew this before, but didn’t REPEAT it enough times to myself, to remind myself… as there is no better psychologist for yourself than exactly YOU, being your true self. CHEERS! P.S. We moved out from that crappy apartment in July 2013!