Communication skills

A course in Communication Skills for Doctors, Pharmacists and Nurses
Introduction
Essential skills and knowledge
Written by: Robin Beaumont e-mail: robin@organplayers.co.uk
Date Friday, 14 January 2012

Communications skills for Doctors, Pharmacists & Nurses
Introduction
Robin Beaumont robin@organplayers.co.uk 14/01/2012 D:web_sites_mineHIcourseweb newcommsbasicscomms_skills_intro.docx Page 2 of 30
How should I use t his chapt er ?
This chapter has been designed to be suitable for web based and face-to-face teaching. The text has been made to be as interactive as possible
with exercises, Multiple Choice Questions (MCQs) and web based exercises.
If you are using this chapter as part of a web-based course you are urged to use the online discussion forum to discuss the issues raised and
share your solutions with other students.
Who should use t his chapt er ?
This chapter is aimed at the following types of people:
• Doctors, both in training and those wishing to be involved in some form of Continual Professional Development (CPD) programme
• Pharmacists both undergraduate and those undertaking courses to enable them to become Supplementary prescribers in the UK
• Nurses who are just starting training as well as those undertaking advanced courses such as Nurse Practitioner training in the UK.
• Other Health Professionals studying Communication as part of their programme.
How long will it t ake me to wor k thr ough t his chapt er?
This chapter will take you between an hour if you don’t do any of the exercises, which is not recommended, and 20 hours if you carry
out all the exercises including those that suggest you use the online discussion forum.
I hope you enjoy working through this chapter, and look forward to any comments you may have.
Robin Beaumont
Contents
1. Before you start .............................................................................................................................................3
1.1 Prerequisites.............................................................................................................................................3
1.2 Required Resources .................................................................................................................................3
2. Learning Outcomes .......................................................................................................................................3
3. Introduction....................................................................................................................................................4
4. Ways of thinking about communication .......................................................................................................5
4.1 5 Ws and H...............................................................................................................................................5
4.2 Barriers and Enhancers.............................................................................................................................6
4.3 Levels.......................................................................................................................................................7
5. Your Beliefs About Communication..............................................................................................................9
6. Communication Apprehension.................................................................................................................... 11
6.1 Reducing CA........................................................................................................................................... 14
7. Non-verbal communication ......................................................................................................................... 16
8. Inappropriate verbal responses .................................................................................................................. 20
9. Self disclosure ............................................................................................................................................. 24
10. Responding appropriately........................................................................................................................ 24
10.1 Levels of listening................................................................................................................................ 24
10.2 General responses .............................................................................................................................. 25
10.3 Open / closed questions ...................................................................................................................... 25
10.4 Empathic responding ........................................................................................................................... 26
11. Persuasion and compliance gaining strategies...................................................................................... 27
12. Emotional intelligence (EI) ....................................................................................................................... 28
13. Summary................................................................................................................................................... 29
14. References................................................................................................................................................ 30

Introduction
1. Before you start
1.1 Prerequisites
This chapter does not assume that you possess any specific knowledge.
1.2 Required Resources
You need the following resources to work through this chapter:
• Active connection to the internet
• Optional the ability to print out this chapter
2. Learning Outcomes
This chapter provides you with the following skills and knowledge. After you have completed it you should come
back to these points, ticking off those you feel you have achieved.
Learning outcome Tick box
Be able to describe the “5 Ws and H” criteria 
Be able to describe the ‘dialogue’ concept 
Be able to identify possible barriers and enhancers to communication 
Be able to describe the three levels of communication 
Be able to describe how the above criteria relates to you 
Be able to discuss the communication beliefs questionnaire 
Be able to discuss the Personal Report of Communication Apprehension (PRCA) questionnaire 
Be able to explain what immediacy behaviours are 
Be able to describe the relationship between a person’s communication apprehension and their belief as to the importance of
communication 
Be able to give a brief description of the treatments for those suffering high Communication Apprehension levels 
Be able to discuss the various types of non-verbal communication 
Be able to discuss the significance and nature of non-verbal communication 
Be able to describe the SOLAR stance 
Be able to recognise appropriate and inappropriate non-verbal communication 
Be able to recognise inappropriate verbal responses 
Be able to put one’s self in the mid of a person who has received a inappropriate verbal response 
Be able to list the various levels of listening 
Be able to provide examples of the various general responses one can make 
Be able to respond to a closed question with an open one 
Be able to describe the concept of empathy 
Be able to provide an empathic response to a question 
Be able to discuss the relationship between emotional Intelligence and Communication apprehension and empathy 
Be able to discuss the importance of recognising the emotional content of all communication 

Introduction
3. Introduction
This chapter is the first in a series to help you to learn more about communication and gain some skills.
To give you an idea of where this chapter fits into communication and professional practice, the diagram below
shows the main areas that need to be considered.
This is the first chapter and looks at essential knowledge and basic skills. In it we will be considering various
aspects of how you communicate in your daily life rather than dwelling on detailed, specific issues that you will
come across in your professional role. If you have ever learnt a musical instrument think of this as the scales that
you need to learn before you can start to play certain pieces, although I hope it will be more enjoyable than
practicing scales!
Once we have this basic knowledge and skills we can move onto the other areas mentioned in the above diagram
such as the consultation with its three aspects of; models, assessment and problem areas such as giving bad news,
cultural issues, working with children and those with learning disabilities or mental health problems. Taking a more
theoretical stance we can investigate communication theories and what they tell us about the consultation. Also
because we live in the electronic age we need to consider e-mail, chat rooms / discussion boards and the electronic
consultation as possible alternatives to the traditional face to face approach. Creating a successful team relies
upon using appropriate communication techniques which links into the audit, clinical governance and effective
presentations.
However rather than getting carried away with specifics lets think about some fundamental questions you need to
ask yourselves. Remember this chapter is concerned with basic non professional communication skills.
Professional Practice
The
Consultation
Problem areas Electronically
mediated
Team working
Audit / Governance
/ After Action
Reviews
Presentations
Essential knowledge Basic skills
Theories of
communication
Models of the
Consultation
Assessing own
performance in
the Consultation

Introduction
4. Ways of thinking about communication
Whenever you start investigating a new topic it is always a good idea to have a set of questions in your mind and
the study of communication skills is no different. I always think about:
• Why, What, When, Where, Who, How
4.1 5 Ws and H
I call these the “5 Ws and H” criteria.
For example we might think about ‘How’ we communicate which may well include:
• Mobile phone – voice
• Mobile phone – texting
• E-mail (laptop and mobile)
• Paper based mail (often called ‘snail mail’)
• Face to face
• Paper based notes (i.e. nursing records, medical records, notice board, diary etc)
• Etc.
While using these questions at the general level is useful applying them to a specific situation often much more use.
For example imagine you’re sitting at a restaurant and you are about to stop a waiter to place your order.
Exercise 1. Guide: 10 minutes
Using the above framework try to answer them from both the waiter’s and clients perspective.
?? ??
Waiters perspective Customers perspective
Why take her order? Why give my order?
What do I do to take her order? What do I do to give my order?
When do I take her order? When do I give my order?
Where do I take her order? Where do I give my order?
Who do I take the order from? Who do I give my order to?
How do I take the order? How do I give my order?

Introduction
You may have come up with something similar to my answer below which is just one of many possibilities as there
is no one correct answer.
The most important thing to note from the above exercise is that all communication involves a dialogue therefore
there are usually two perspectives to consider. What the ‘sender’ perceives the message to mean and how the
‘receiver’ interprets that message. Furthermore, the sender is usually a human so one would expect some type of
response from them. Incidentally you may have noticed that computers often do not give you any feedback when
you type something in. The lack of an expected response can make you feel anxious!
4.2 Barriers and Enhancers
The above exercise you carried out may appear to provide all the answers about communication but there are other
important aspects to consider. For example why might you not ask that particular waiter for your order, or why might
he bring you the wrong order. Such questions can be answered by considering what is called communication
barriers and enhancers. A communications barrier is something that prevents the correct message from being
received, while an enhancer increases the likelihood of the correct message getting through. For example in the
above situation the restaurant may be noisy increasing the probability that the waiter will incorrectly hear your order,
alternatively the waiter may kneel beside your table so as to be at the same height as yourself and therefore
probably closer to you to increase the chances of taking the correct order. Incidentally, being at the same height
probably also helps him to see you non –verbal clues to help reinforce the verbal message. More about that later.
Why: to keep the job
What, serving
When, now
Where, Allies bar
Who, female at table 34
How. verbally
Why: hungry
What, chocolate ice cream
When, now
Where, Allies bar
Who, young looking waiter
How, verbally
Sender
Perception
Intentions
etc
Reciever
Interprets
Takes action
etc

Introduction
Make a list of possible communication barriers and enhancers for the restaurant situation.
For communication barriers your list probably included such things as poor lighting, language problems, how busy
the restaurant is and avoidance of eye contact, and for enhancers you may have just reversed the various factors
such as good lighting, language clear etc.
4.3 Levels
You will notice that you can categorise each of the barriers you listed into one of three levels, such as:
• Environmental
• Interpersonal (that is between people)
• Intrapersonal - This is the internal monologue you have with yourself reflecting your own values and beliefs
(Tindall & Beardsley et al 2003 p55).
So far I have really only mentioned the first two levels above. Did you consider the Intrapersonal level in any of the
exercises above?
Revisit the previous exercises and see if you can add any additional information at the Intrapersonal level.
So considering all the information given over the last few pages we can see that communication is a very complex
thing. Just considering the “5 W’s and H”, criteria along with the possible barriers and enhancers means that we
have 14 possible areas to consider:
5 W’s and H
Barriers
&
enhancers

Introduction
For example considering the restaurant situation we could end up with something like this, from the customers
(‘senders’) perspective for ordering a drink:
Why order: What to order: When to order: Where to
order:
Who to place
the order with:
How to order:
Barriers Past bad
experiences
Same drink on
the next table
looks
unappetising
Waiting for a
friend to arrive
Sitting at a corner
table away from
where the waiters
are standing
My shyness,
waiters appear
difficult
Difficulty in
speaking the
language
Enhancers Feel thirsty Same drink on
the counter looks
appealing
Smell of food Nearby the
waiters
I perceive the
waiters as being
friendly
Not too noisy
From the above table I have included things at different ‘levels’ such as noise (environmental level) and perception
(Intrapersonal) and we probably could consider each of the above aspects for each of the three levels. In doing so
we would end up with a cube with the depth representing the three levels:
a. Considering how you generally communicate write a paragraph explaining each of the aspects shown on
the above diagram (i.e. 5 W's & H, Barriers/enhancers and Levels).
b. Which aspects do you consider to be the most and least important in communicating in your job?
c. Which aspects do you consider to be the most and least important in communicating in your personal
relationships?
When you start to consider how complex human communication is it is amazing we manage to communicate at all!
We will now take a more detailed look at the Intrapersonal aspect of communication.
5 W’s & H
Barriers /
enhancers
Levels:
Environmental /
Interpersonal /
Intrapersonal

Introduction
5. Your Beliefs About Communication
Communication is something everyone does from the moment they are born, and even possibly before, so why
make such a fuss about it you may well ask, surely I have demonstrated that I can communicate already by getting
this far in life? I may not understand it but I certainly can do it!
This is a common attitude and probably has some validity because various studies have demonstrated
contradictory results concerning the benefits of communication skills training. I would interpret such a finding
to mean that in the present situation you keep an open mind about this until the end of the course. Let’s begin by
finding out what you think of communication.
Please fill in the questionnaire below. There are no right or wrong answers just work quickly and record
your first impression.
Strongly
agree
agree undecided disagree Strongly
disagree
Question
A. Communication skills really can't be taught.
B. It is not necessary to require a communications course.
C. Some people are born communicators.
D. I can learn to be an effective communicator.
E. I see myself doing a good job of counselling patients.
F. Drug/disease knowledge will make me an effective
communicator.
G. I don't see myself talking comfortably with patients.
H. Words have meaning.
I. Communication is primarily verbal.
J. When people stop talking, they stop communicating.
K. Being assertive is OK for others, but not for me.
L. Communication requires desire, understanding, and
experience.
M. I would communicate more effectively as the result of a
communication course.
N. I communicate better than most people.
O. In pharmacy/nursing/medical practice, drug knowledge is
more important than communication skills.
P. Most communication comes from what we do, not what we
say.
Q. I am not an effective communicator.
The Pharmacy Communication Belief Instrument taken from Berger & McCroskey, et al (1986) adapted
Robin Beaumont 2012

Introduction
The above questionnaire provides much food for thought. For example, it could be argued that the question
statement "When people stop talking, they stop communicating" could have many different aspects. If you consider
communication to be mainly verbal then you probably will have answered 'agree' to this question, alternatively if you
knew about non-verbal communication or if you possibly use the 'silent treatment' (meaning that you reduce the
normal level of communication) when you are angry / upset with someone, you will have disagreed with the
question. Your answers to the above statements will therefore be a reflection of a large number of factors including
your knowledge, experiences and beliefs.
If you are working through this chapter as part of an online course make use of the electronic discussion
forum to discuss the above questionnaire.
Things you may want to discuss:
How might you score the questions in the above questionnaire?
May you want to score all the questions the same way or reverse score some of them -give your reasons?
What might the maximum score be and what would it indicate?
What might the minimum score be and what would it indicate?
Would it be sensible to set a cut off point and what might that signify, could it serve any purpose?
One factor that may influence your questionnaire results is a thing called communication apprehension, which will
be the subject of the next section.

Introduction
6. Communication Apprehension
We will begin this section by you first completing another questionnaire:
Please fill in the questionnaire below. There are no right or wrong answers just work quickly and record your first
impression.
Strongly
agree
agree undecided disagree Strongly
disagree
Question
1. I dislike participating in group discussions.
2. Generally, I am comfortable while participating in group
discussions
3. I am tense and nervous while participating in group
discussions
4. I like to get involved in group discussions.
5. Engaging in a group discussion with new people makes me
tense and nervous.
6. I am calm and relaxed while participating in group discussions
7. Generally, I am nervous when I have to participate in a
meeting
8. Usually, I am calm and relaxed while participating in meetings
9. I am very calm and relaxed when I am called on to express
an opinion at a meeting.
10. I am afraid to express myself at meetings.
11. Communicating at meetings usually makes me
uncomfortable.
12. I am very relaxed when answering questions at a meeting.
13. While participating in a conversation with a new
acquaintance, I feel very nervous.
14. I have no fear of speaking up in conversations.
15. Ordinarily I am very tense and nervous in conversations.
16. Ordinarily I am very calm and relaxed in conversations.
17. While conversing with a new acquaintance, I feel very
relaxed
18. I'm afraid to speak up in conversations.
19. I have no fear of giving a speech.
20. Certain parts of my body feel very tense and rigid while
giving a speech.
21. I feel relaxed while giving a speech.
22. My thoughts become confused and jumbled when I am
giving a speech.
23. I face the prospect of giving a speech with confidence.
24. While giving a speech I get so nervous, I forget facts I really
know.
The Personal Report of Communication Apprehension (PRCA) questionnaire taken from Baldwin & Richmond,
et al 1982.

Introduction
I wonder what your score was? The people who developed the questionnaire tested it on more than 40,000
individuals (Baldwin & Richmond, et al 1982) and discovered that,
“the "normal" range of scores on the PRCA is 52-79 . One of five individuals in the general population is
highly communication apprehensive, and has a PRCA score greater than 79. . . . these people have a
generalised anxiety about communication, not just an anxiety in certain situations.”
I wonder about certain aspects of the above quote, for example the idea that the score does not vary between
situations (test retest validity), however I feel that it probably does vary at different times depending upon factors
such as tiredness. Unfortunately this is just a gut feeling and I don't know of any empirical basis for my assertion.
The above questionnaire has also been applied to Pharmacists (Berger & Baldwin et al, 1983):
"… based on responses from 10,004 pharmacy students from 51 (71.8 percent) schools of pharmacy
[continental United States]. Approximately 1 in 5 pharmacy students is highly communication apprehensive,
similar to the general population percentage. Variability exists on a school-by-school basis. Over a third
(34.4 percent) of the pharmacy students classified themselves as shy, compared to a population norm of 35
percent. Sixty-three percent of the high CA students were shy, and fourteen percent of all students were
both high CA and shy. Approximately 5 percent of the population were high CA, shy, and did not consider it
a problem. These students apparently simply avoid communication and its resultant anxiety. The more
anxiety a communication context produces, the less importance a student attaches to that type of
communication. . . . . It appears that at least one in five, and possibly as high as one in three, pharmacy
students will tend to avoid communication."
The above quote, taken from the summary of the article, contains a large amount of information, to help you grasp
some of the reasoning, and in particular the sentence "The more anxiety a communication context produces,
the less importance a student attaches to that type of communication", please carry out the exercise below.
James McCroskey has an amazingly long career his first publication being in 1958 up until 2012. Please visit his
excellent website which includes a list of publications and have a look at one or two at
http://www.jamescmccroskey.com/publications/periods.htm
One possible paper might be his early, Berger, B. A., Baldwin, H. J., McCroskey, J. C., & Richmond, V. P. (1983).
Communication apprehension in pharmacy students: A national study. American Journal of Pharmaceutical
Education, 47, 95-102. http://www.jamescmccroskey.com/publications/109.pdf another more recent paper might
be: McCroskey J.C. (2009). Communication Apprehension: What We Have Learned in the Last Four Decades.
Human Communication 12(2), 179-187.
The choice is up to you - do not worry about the detailed statistics, concentrate on the main findings.
To compute your Personal Communication Apprehension (PRCA) Score:
1. Add to the top of the table the following value for each of your responses:
(1) Strongly agree, (2) Agree, (3) Undecided, (4) Disagree, or (5) Strongly disagree
1. Total separately the following items: 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, 23 (the shaded rows)
2. Total separately the following items: 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 20, 22, 24
3. PRCA Score=72+Total 1-Total 2
Above 79 = High CA; Below 52 = Low CA.
Score =

Introduction
The idea that those who possess high levels of CA avoid communication has been taken a step further in research
that looks at a thing called 'immediacy behaviours'. The most common immediacy behaviours are communication
with another at close proximity, smiling, positive facial effect, eye contact, use of direct body orientations, touching,
positive body movements and gesturing, and vocal expressiveness (Andersen & Teacher , 1979). Basically this is
just analysing communication avoidance in more detail. I'm sure we all know friends who avoid or initiate face-to-
face communication to a greater or lesser extent than us. The next exercise is designed to help you think about
this.
Think about the following situations and for each consider:
♦ How you would react
♦ Which of the options in your own mind you consider to be 'appropriate behaviour'
♦ Which of the options in your own mind you consider to be 'appropriate behaviour'
from the majority of the population
The situations:
A. You see a stunning plant in a garden and notice the gardener, do you compliment the gardener or just
walk by.
B. Someone has grown a number of herbs which are hanging over the front edge of their garden - would
you knock on the door and ask if they minded you taking a few cuttings or just go and sneak a few one
evening?
C. One of your children has been moved down a group in the class would you just; accept it, write a letter
stating that you would like an explanation or ask for a meeting to discuss if there is anything you could do to
rectify the situation?
D. Someone has placed their coat on the seat beside your at a concert and you are expecting a friend to
join you in a few minutes, would you ask them to move the coat or get up and look for somewhere else with
two seats?
E. You have an embarrassing itch would you go to the pharmacy and ask for some cream, look on the
Internet or ask a friend who you know has suffered from a similar complaint in the past?
F. You are having problems with an essay, and you see your tutor in the corridor would you ask her if she
should spare some time for a tutorial or send her an e-mail including the draft or ask a friend on the same
course for help?
G. A friend has just had an operation for Cancer and is recuperating at home. When you visit her she
obviously wants to talk about the prognosis (you have heard from someone else that it is not good). Which
of the following would you do:
♦ Avoid going to see her (because . . .)
♦ Go and see her but make sure she did not talk about anything 'distressing' by deliberately changing
the subject if she approached it
♦ Go and see her and allow her to set the agenda by making her feel that she can discuss anything
with you
♦ Go and see her and ask what she was planning on doing to set her life in order
The above exercise will have made you think hard. Most of the situations above had an option you could choose
that would result in you avoiding face to face communication (i.e. just walk by, sneaking a cutting, not visiting etc.)

Introduction
The interesting thing is that those people who have high levels of CA can 'rationalise' their behaviour, in other words
make excuses for avoiding communication (Berger & Baldwin et al, 1983). This is what Berger & Baldwin et al,
1983 meant when they said, "The more anxiety a communication context produces, the less importance a
student attaches to that type of communication".
What are the implications of this? Well I think there are many, but probably the most important is that if you
perceive being "shy" as all right then you won't be motivated to become more communicative.
You must gain the awareness that there is a problem before you can do anything about it
Avoiding communication might not be a problem in some jobs and social contexts but in others it clearly is. People
often find their niche and fit into it quite successfully, for example shy individuals may choose work which does not
involve a lot of face to face communication. Unfortunately working environments are forever changing nowadays
which means we need to adapt to remain successful. This may just mean learning to use a new piece of technology
or something that requires us to change in a more fundamental way, here are some examples:
• A local garden centre decides to run beginners courses on landscape design and expects the gardeners to
take part in the training
• A pharmacist traditionally works behind the scenes but the role extended to include consultations to
diagnosis and provide advice on common illnesses
• A nurse in a GP surgery is asked to start running clinics for those with varicose ulcers
• A worker in a sheltered workshop for the recovering mentally ill is asked to instigate and probably manage a
training scheme for some of the clients to help them gain nationally recognised certificates.
I believe that some shy people (i.e. those with high levels of CA) learn to adapt to those new situations in a variety
of ways one of which is by learning to act a role. Let’s look at this in more detail.
6.1 Reducing CA
My first career was as a musician and part of my degree was singing in large choirs in such things as Verdi's
Requiem as well as conducting various choirs/music groups. I was very shy at school and remember clearly the
terrible nervousness, including numerous visits to the toilet, I made before playing at school concerts etc. I never
would have imagined myself leading a rehearsal but somehow it did happen. How I think it happened was by me
imitating roles I came across. I literally imitated the musicians that I had seen in the past, and it always amazed me
how relaxed people said I was in rehearsals as it was certainly not how I felt.
The roles / acting metaphor is a particular flavour of symbolic interactionism (school of sociology) developed by
Goffman Erving espoused in a famous book by him – ‘The presentation of self’ in which he suggests that we act
differently in different situations. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goffman. I bet you know a shy teacher or an
extrovert accountant etc.
The interesting thing looking back at my experience is that by doing it I have gradually lost my anxiety, at first what
was a very conscious difficult act has now become normal behaviour. Taking a musical example, it is just like
learning to play musical scales, at first one needs to concentrate furiously but eventually it becomes second nature
as particular neural circuits are developed.
Therefore I believe that mimicking positive role models helps reduce CA.
From a more academic perspective Berger & Baldwin et al, 1983 recommended Systematic desensitisation as the
most appropriate treatment for those suffering high CA, more recently a multiple intervention approach has shown
to work best. Quoting Greene & Burleson 2003 p162:
In an effort to evaluate integrated versus unitary treatments for reducing public speaking anxiety, Whitworth and Cochran (1996)
conducted a study comparing the efficacy of treatment procedures. They hypothesized that a combination of treatments would result in a
greater reduction of CA than would any individual treatment approach alone. Their sample consisted of 232 undergraduate students, who
were assigned to one of three experimental groups or to a control group. The three experimental groups were composed of 161 students
enrolled in a basic public speaking course, and the control group was composed of 71 students enrolled in an introductory psychology
course, who had never taken a college level public speaking course.
The first treatment group consisted of students who received a combination of three treatments: Communication Orientation Motivation
Therapy (COM therapy), a form of cognitive restructuring; visualization training, incorporating characteristics of both cognitive restructuring
and systematic desensitization; and skills training, involving direct instruction on speaking skills, research methods, outlining strategies, and
behavioral rehearsal of speech delivery. The second treatment group consisted of students who received both skills and visualization
training. The third treatment group consisted of students who received skills training only. The control group consisted of students who
received no treatment.

Introduction
The results of the investigation indicated that the multiple treatment approaches were the most effective in reducing public speaking
anxiety. Specifically, both the three-treatment and the two-treatment combinations showed the greatest reductions in anxiety compared
with skills training alone or the control group. . . .
[end of quote]
It is believed that Inappropriate Cognitive Processing results in CA hence if you can restructure your cognition by
using cognitive therapy you can solve the problem.
Cognitive Treatments work to restructure a person's view of themselves and the world around them.
One form of cognitive treatment was developed by Albert Ellis (1962) and is called Rational-emotive Therapy (RET).
Ellis believed that because man is a rational being, "psychological or emotional disturbances are largely a result of
his thinking illogically or irrationally; and that he can rid himself of most of his emotional or mental unhappiness,
ineffectuality, and disturbance if he learns to maximize his rational and minimize his irrational thinking (p. 36).
Watson and Dodd in Daly & McCroskey (1997, p. 8) explain that Ellis' theory assumes that, " it is the view people
take of things, not the things themselves. [communication apprehension] may be considered a kind of emotional
reaction associated with communicative performance"
The belief is that the underlying fear with shy people that makes them avoid communication is the fear of being
negatively evaluated by others or humiliated. (Business Week, 1999) So, someone who holds negative views of
themselves and assumes others will too has set themselves up, unconsciously for social anxiety. Rational-emotive
Therapy attempts to slowly create self-liking and acceptance, by rationally examining the basis for negative self-
concepts. Negative concepts formed throughout life, may upon re-examination prove to be untrue and irrational.
Taking a current, rational look at the self can begin the process of establishing a more realistic, positive view. A
person who accepts and likes themselves is more likely to enter into communication expecting to be accepted and
liked, and therefore will experience far less apprehension about communicating with others. From
http://students.usm.maine.edu/deborah.marston/#whattypeoftreatments (no longer active).
Current treatment includes four steps:(1) introducing the person to the treatment, (2) naming the negative
statements (illogical beliefs) the person uses, (3) developing new statements (to take the place of the negative
ones, and (4) practicing the new coping statements such as "Most people want to hear my idea." "I am excited
about sharing this information." "This is easy, and I can do it." "I gave a good speech."
Research indicates that this treatment is effective in reducing CA with about the same success rates as those from
systematic desensitization. Some people believe that combining systematic desensitization with cognitive
restructuring gives even better results, but that has not been proved conclusively. [From
http://www.marietta.edu/~halej/apprehension.html quoting Reducing Communication Apprehension" by J.
McCroskey].
If you scored high on the high Communication Apprehension scale (PRCA) have a look at the following
links:
a. More information about Communication Apprehension including Systematic desensitisation and
other treatments:
http://www.as.wvu.edu/~bpatters/lsc3.htm
b. the “Speech Anxiety Student Workbook” by David B. Ross by going to the following folder and
moving down the page to find a link to it:
http://www.clcillinois.edu/depts/vpe/gened/pdf/Speech_AnxietyWorkbook.pdf
c. The Communication Apprehension Website Links page at:
http://www.roch.edu/dept/spchcom/ca_links.htm
You may feel that I have gone completely over the top in the above section concerning Communication
Apprehension but I feel that it is necessary, remember that the Berger & Baldwin et al, 1983 survey discovered that
over one fifth of people suffered from high levels of CA. Even if you are one of the lucky majority working through
the above section with a normal level of CA it will have given you insight into what it must be like. We will now move
on to another aspect of communication, all those little gestures that accompany what you say.

Introduction
7. Non-verbal communication
There are numerous sites on the web concerned with non-verbal communication so I
have provided a series of exercises to help you learn about it.
First let’s begin with a gentle introduction.
Read the article at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6070754.stm - Add any
comments you would like to make to the course discussion forum
Please watch the youtube video "Busting the Mehrabian Myth" at:
http://youtu.be/7dboA8cag1M This link is important so please make sure you watch it.
Also try out the fake smile test :
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/
[A previous version of this chapter pointed you to ‘Debunking body language: New research on non-verbal communication’
given by Dr Janet Bavalas, Victoria University, Canada.
http://skills.library.leeds.ac.uk/learnhigherleeds/pages/interpersonal_skills/is_interactive_activities/vidcast.htm unfortunately this
is no longer available]
The above web sites provided a gentle introduction into some aspects of non-verbal communication, I wonder how
well you did with the body language questionnaire? The important thing to realise is that you might be able to very
effectively lie with your words but your non-verbal behaviour is likely to let you down (eye movements, posture and
paralanguage etc.). Now for something a bit more substantial, non-verbal communication is a huge subject with
many different areas. We will now look very briefly at each of them in the next exercise.
Please go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-verbal_communication and answer the following question:
a. Non-verbal communication is divided up into the following areas, The table below gives a list of the
common names for each of them as well as a list of technical names, unfortunately the lists are jumbled up.
Please match up the terms.
Common name Technical term
Appearance kinesics
Movement Haptics
Voice Olfactics
Touch Occulesics
Smell Proxemics
Space
Territoriality Paralanguage
Time Chronemics

Introduction
Having watched the link "Busting the Mehrabian Myth" the quote below from Greene & Burleson 2003 p179 need
careful appraisal:
Far too often, however, theoretical and practical conceptions of communication skill emphasize the role of verbal cues while
discounting the importance of nonverbal behaviours in the actualization of this endeavour. This is particularly alarming given
estimates that upwards of 60% of the meaning in any social situation is communicated nonverbally (Birdwhistell, 1955; Philipott,
1983) and research indicating that nonverbal cues are especially likely to be believed when they conflict with verbal messages
(for summaries of this work, see Burgoon, 1985; Burgoon, Buller,& Woodall, 1996).
Now we have found out 'what' non-verbal communication is let's consider 'how' we can use it to our advantage.
The excellent BBC web site contains a large amount of teaching material. One area of the site is called
Bitsizerevision. In amongst the various GCSE material there is a section on coping with interviews which provides
the following advice about non-verbal behaviour
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/business/people/interviewrev1.shtml moved to:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/schools/11_16/gogetit/getthatjob/interviewtips.shtml: (13/01/2012)
"Your body can betray what your feelings are at an interview. Different candidates will give different impressions to
the interview panel by the way they behave in an interview. Here are a few examples:
1) A person who sits with their arms and legs crossed and their head down. No eye contact with the interview panel
Message to interview panel: "I'm scared"
2) A person who slouches in their seat, with their legs outstretched, their hands in their pockets, looking out of window.
Message to interview panel: "I'm not interested"
3) Sitting straight up in seat, arms resting in lap, looking straight at interviewer (eye contact) and smiling.
Message to interview panel: " I'm interested and alert"
4) Leaning forward and stabbing a finger at the interviewer. Angry expression on face.
Message to interview panel: "I'm aggressive"
From: http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/business/people/interviewrev2.shtml
Obviously the third description above is the most appropriate. Try the following:
Sit in front of a mirror with your back straight up in the seat, arms resting in your lap, looking straight at the
mirror and smiling. Try putting your legs in various positions - which do you think is the best position for
them to make the panel like you?
As you can imagine numerous books have been written about interviewing and non-verbal communication
just try searching amazon.com or addall.com.
The following link is a nice example of a animation which over plays facial emotions etc, highlighting non-
verbal components to communication, type playing it first with the sound turned off.
http://www.11secondclub.com/competitions/december08/winner
b. Probably non-verbal signals account for of the following % impact of the message
(select one option or could this be a trick question?):
1. 10-19%
2. 20-30%
3. 31-39%
4. 40-59%
5. 60-80%
6. 81-90%
7. 91-97%

Introduction
The standing equivalent to the sitting posture described above is often called the SOLER Stance where you face
the person Squarely, use Open body posture, Lean forward slightly, use appropriate Eye contact and look Relaxed
in this position. It is used to show others that you are listening to them.
One of the most important aspects of non-verbal communication is eye contact. An excellent little book by Leil
Lowndes called 'How to talk to anyone' describes a technique called sticky eyes:
"Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation Partner's with sticky warm toffee. Don't break eye contact
even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly,
stretching the gooey toffee until the tiny string finally breaks." (p12)
I would like to add one more thing about eye contact. Returning to the restaurant situation described at the start of
this handout look at the pictures below.
You will now realise that the waiter has many options as to how to take your order. Here are some possibilities that
he / she may use:
• Stand close to the table and write the order on a pad
• Stand close to the table and rest the pad on the table, requiring him to learn forward
• Crouch down to be at the same eye level as yourself resting the pad on the table
• Draw up a seat and rest the pad on the table
I think the important thing is for the eyes to be on the same level. Do you agree?
We have not mentioned in detail facial features and expressions which obviously play a part, a ‘friendly face’ such
as giving a smile is much more likely to receive a positive response than one with a bland or sad expression.
The other problem is the possible
incongruity between verbal and
non-verbal messages, the more
they complement each other the
happier we are. Consider the
cartoon below, which of the cartons
provides the most appropriate
caption?
In which position would you
prefer the waitress to take
your order?
Why?
From: http://www.hunnybee.com.au/non-verbal-communication.html

Introduction
If you have time try taking the following two face/personality tests at the link below (you need to scroll down
the page) http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/index_surveys.shtml
Also there are two pages giving information about readinf faces and their value and how we respond to
them at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/emotions/faceperception1.shtml
Technology marches on, and nowhere is this more evident than in the sphere of computer gaming. Facial
Expressions have been modelled in computer games for a little while now, but their actual value has yet to
be fully realised. Take the example of the recently released "Half Life 2" http://www.valvesoftware.com -
they have employed a Psychology Professor to develop a taxonomy of facial expressions to allow for
realistic modelling of character emotions. (Taken from a MSc course discussion board posting by Dr Keith
Grimes)
If you like facial recognition tests you can find another at: http://www.city-psychology-tests.co.uk/BBC/Faces.html
which also provides excellent feedback comparing your results with others etc.
Possibly it is appropriate here to give a warning that one can be over sensitive about non-verbal communication:
“. . .in the 1960s during the famous trial of the Chicago Seven, defence attorney William Kuntsler actually
made a legal objection to judge Julious Hoffman’s posture. During the summation by the prosecution, Judge
Hoffman leaned forward which, accused Kuntsler, sent a message to the jury of attention and interest.
During his defence summation, complained Kuntsler, Judge Hoffman learned back, sending the jury a
subliminal message of disinterest.” (Lowndes, 1999 p21)
We have barely scratched the surface of non-verbal communication but I feel you have covered enough for now, it
obviously plays a major part in the professional role of anyone dealing with the public, and even more so where
people put their trust in the person such as those working in the health care professions. Because of this we will be
returning to it in much more depth when we look at your various professional roles.
We will now move to verbal communication and take a look at how to converse with people both appropriately and
inappropriately.

Introduction
8. Inappropriate verbal responses
The way you respond to someone is obviously partially defined by the situation, how you talk to an old friend is very
different from how you talk to a colleague at work. However across all these situations there are common goals
such as the desire to gain trust and appear to provide support. We will now look in depth at a list compiled by Keith
Green of ineffective verbal responses (http://inside.ridgewater.edu/green/ no longer available) within a counselling
context. While Green uses these in teaching ‘effective listening’, which we will discuss latter, there is no harm in
considering his list in this context.
Many of the inappropriate response categories discussed in the table on the next page involve consideration of the
‘emotional’ aspect of the communication. You may well say that surely most things people say have little or no
emotional content, such as, “please shut the door”. However research has consistently confirmed that no matter
what we say there is always an emotional message hidden within it. The diagram below lists the main categories
he divides up the inappropriate responses, each of which are consider in turn in the table.
Green is very much talking from a psychoanalytic therapeutic approach so some of the inappropriate responses I
would say are up for discussion in the healthcare professional context, for example self disclosure and advising.
Emotionally
Ignoring/minimising
Blaming/
Judging/
Advising
Shifting
Topic/focus to self
Interrogating
Interrupting
Incongruity Mentally rehearsing

Introduction
Taken from Keith Green's notes at Ridgewater College. Willmar, Minnesota
Inappropriate
verbal
responses:
Ignoring the
emotional content
Minimising
emotion
Blaming Judging Shifting Topic
Shifting Focus
to Yourself
Analysing Interrogating Interrupting Incongruity Advising Mentally Rehearsing
Explanation:
You simply do not
respond to the
emotional state
being displayed.
You minimise the
emotional
component using
words/phrases,
such as "Oh, don't
worry about it" to
suggest the
emotion is invalid
and unimportant.
You shift the fault to a third
party when there is no
knowledge of the role of a 3rd
party allowing the speaker to
avoid legitimate
responsibility/accountability
You evaluate the
speaker
him/herself;
assuming he/she
is at fault for the
events at hand.
The result is that
you encourage
them to become
defensive.
Shifting to a topic
other than that which
the speaker wishes to
address
demonstrates a lack
of concern and
interest in his/her
problems/issues
unfortunately it is
very common with
shy people who want
to avoid emotional
issues.
Shifting the
focus of the
conversation to
yourself is often
used to "one up"
the speaker.
Using
psychobabble to
"explain" the
underlying
dynamics of why
a speaker is
experiencing what
he/she is
experiencing
rather than
listening to them.
Asking a series of
short, quick
questions;
designed to elicit
admissions of fault;
creates
defensiveness
Not letting the
speaker finish
his/her thought; or
finishing the
sentence for the
speaker,
demonstrating that
the listener does
not need to listen
as he/she "already
knows" what is
going to be said.
A mixed message
in which the
verbal is
supportive but the
nonverbal is not,
such as the use of
sarcasm. You
came across this
in the exercise
where you looked
at the cartoons
with inappropriate
captions.
Many professionals, such as
doctors, solicitors,
pharmacists and nurses have
a professional responsibility
to provide advice,
unfortunately they have the
habit of never managing to
move out of this
‘schoolteacher’ mode.
Specific reasons why it might
not be appropriate to give
advice in a particular situation
include:
This is when the
listener is far more
concerned with his/her
response than with first
truly understanding the
message of the listener.
I feel that I often suffer
from this inappropriate
mental response when I
am busy or nervous.
For example when
someone has been
talking about things for
a long time (‘wittering
on’) that I perceive to
be unimportant or when
I know I need to be
somewhere else. In my
younger, more self-
conscious days I
remember well that I
often mentally
rehearsed my response
wondering how people
would perceive my
response rather than
listening to what they
were actually saying.
Mental rehearsing
could be thought of as
an obstruction to
listening rather than an
actual response but I
think it is useful to
classify it under
inappropriate
responses as it
hopefully prevents you
from inappropriately
doing it.
Here is an
example:
Friend:
Mary has been so
ill with the
chemotherapy and
they don't say
when it will end. I
wonder if she is
ever going to get
well again. I don't
know how much
longer I can keep
my spirits up.
I'm really worried
about my Eric he's
just started at the
new school and
seems to be very
unhappy I just don't
know what to do.
I'm really worried about my Eric
he's just started at the new
school and seems to be very
unhappy I just don't know what
to do?
I'm really worried
about my Eric
he's just started
at the new school
and seems to be
very unhappy I
just don't know
what to do?
I'm really worried
about my Eric he's
just started at the
new school and
seems to be very
unhappy I just don't
know what to do?
I'm really
worried about
my Eric he's just
started at the
new school and
seems to be
very unhappy I
just don't know
what to do?
Friend:
I'm really worried
about my Eric he's
just started at the
new school and
seems to be very
unhappy I just
don't know what to
do?
Your response:
When did he start
there?
Friend:
Oh, (rather
shocked by the
question) three
weeks ago.
Your response:
Does he know any
of his fellow
classmates from
the previous
school.
…
….
Friends' probable
interpretation:
Why does he
always wait to get
to the bottom of
everything as if its
a detective story.
I'm really worried
about my Eric
he's just started at
the new school
and seems to be
very unhappy I
just don't know
what to do?
1. you may not be trained
enough/knowledgeable
enough to give proper advice
2. your advice may be what
you would do, but may not be
what the speaker would/can
do
3. offering advice suggests
the speaker is incapable of
solving problems him/herself
4. giving advice can introduce
strong relationship tension
5. giving advice shifts
legitimate responsibility from
the speaker to the listener
6. advice may not be wanted;
rather, what is needed is a
sounding board
7. giving advice can stop
communication, interfering
with the catharsis value of
listening
Your response:
Chemotherapy can
be traumatic. I'm
sure she is going to
get better, and you
can plan a holiday.
After all you've
been wonderful all
this time.
I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about,
what are you doing
for lunch on
Thursday . . .
I've heard that the teachers
aren't that good there, he
probably has good reason to
complain.
I think it's only
natural for him to
be having
teething problems
at a new school,
If I were you I
would give it 6
months and then
start to worry if
it's no better then.
Um! what are you
doing for lunch on
Thursday this
wonderful new
restaurant has just
opened . . .
I remember I
had some bad
times when I
was at school.
O that’s terrible
isn’t it? (while
making grossly
exaggerated facial
expressions or
possibly starting
to move away or
becoming
distracted)
Friends'
probable
interpretation:
Why did I bother
trying to talk to him,
he just seems to
treat it as if it's a
bad cold, and he
seems to have no
idea how
depressed I'm
feeling.
He obviously thinks
I'm a real moaner
blowing it out of all
proportion. I wish I
could talk to
someone who
would understand.
I will leave this for you to
decide.
He obviously he
thinks I can't
cope, and thinks I
don't understand
what's going on.
He always likes to
show off his
superior
knowledge; I
won't bother
telling him next
time.
It seems pointless
talking to him about
anything of any
importance
It's always me,
me me! Or
possibly.. it is
lovely to
discover
someone else
who has had
that experience.
See my
comments
concerning self
disclosure in the
text.
Why bother
talking to him.

Introduction
In the above section we have looked at 12 different types of inappropriate responses. Now please complete the table
below. The first column should list the 12 different types. The second column should be a list of numbers from 1 to 12 with
1 indicating that it is your most frequent type of response and 12 as your least frequent response. I put (advising = 1,
interrupting = 2 etc). You might want to consider the ‘How often do you do it?’ for a particular situation such as talking to
customers/patients at work or talking to relatives etc.
Inappropriate response How often do you do it?
Situation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Introduction
For each of the following, please determine its appropriateness as a response to:
I'm so fed up with school. I think I'm going to just forget it and go back home and work at my
parents' store.
You might want to start by deciding for each of the responses if it is an example of one of the inappropriate
responses listed in the above section.
1. Hey, you're young and you've got a lot of time to go to school. Just go with the flow and don't
worry about it. Everything will work out.
2. You should stay in school. It's going to be awfully tough to come back after you leave.
3. It seems to me that you've had trouble making the shift from high school to college. It is
tough to go from a small high school where you were one of the leaders of the students to
just becoming another student here. Perhaps the real problem is that you vested too much of
your self-esteem on being a student leader, and now that you aren't you don't know what to
do. Could that be it?
4. Well, have you blown off school? I don't see you studying very often.
5. It's your parents, isn't it. They are pushing you to come home and work for them for free.
Jeez, they just need to back off and let you live your life.
6. You sound like school has really gotten you down.
7. Is school what's bugging you, or is it something else?
8. You should go talk to a counsellor so they can help you sort this out.
9. Do it!!! Chuck all this college crap and leave. Who needs it anyway.
10. Okay, what's wrong? Is it your math class? Did you bomb it? Or is it that person you met that
the party last month?
11. You are so damn wishy-washy. Look, you've finished one semester, and you've only got
three more to go to get your degree. Buck up and stick it out. It's pretty stupid to run away
from something just because it is not what you thought it would be.
12. Hey, did you see what Chris did last night?
13. (sarcastically) Oooh, poor baby. Baby missing mommy?
14. (interrupting) Oh, I know what you want. Chris is back home, right? Getting lonely for a little
"human companionship"?
15. What's gotten you so down about school?
16. Do you like working at your parents' store?
17. I know how you feel. I'm so sick and tired of this place. My English teacher doesn't like me,
and my Speech teacher keeps throwing speeches at us. My biology teacher is so boring,
and my history class sucks. Oh, and my job at Cashwise sucks too--my boss thinks he can
just tell me what to do and I have to jump, I'm just so fed up. And then the manager of the
apartment building called yesterday . . .
18. So you're heading home and forgetting about school for a while?
19. School's really got you down, huh?
20. Are you thinking of just taking talking some time off, or are you going to chuck school
altogether?
From: http://willmar.ridgewater.mnscu.edu/green/223/respex2.htm

Introduction
9. Self disclosure
In recent years the traditional idea that it is ‘unprofessional’ to use self disclosure in medicine and nursing has been
questioned, for example see Deering, 1999. I personally feel that it is probably useful to consider the 5’H’s & W
criteria if you feel unsure about using self disclosure. Both in my professional role and when meeting new friends I
definitely think a little pinch of it in a conversation often helps to gain trust.
Reading the quote below from http://www.uky.edu/Agriculture/Sociology/effamcom.htm suggests that self disclosure
is a good and useful thing:
"Self-disclosure fosters intimacy and occurs when you reveal personal information about yourself to others. Since
the information is personal and private, self-disclosure usually involves a risk. By opening yourself up, you make
yourself vulnerable. You do not know how the other person is going to use the information. Obviously, trust
enhances self-disclosure. It is also enhanced by high self-esteem and reciprocity. When you feel good about
yourself you will be more willing to take the risks associated with revealing yourself. In most cases, self-disclosure is
incremental and alternate. One person discloses a little and the other discloses a little. The first discloses some
more and the second discloses some more. In other words, it takes two to self-disclose."
While the above quote does not reference any experimental findings to back up these claims the following link
referring to an article in the Psychology today magazine does provide references.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-young-and-the-restless/201108/disclose-yourself-how-intimate-
disclosure-fosters-attraction
Considering the clinical consultation I would also say that self disclosure results in the levelling of power between
the two parties which I feel is probably a good thing, more about this in the following chapters. Also as Self
disclosure is linked to gaining trust/intimacy and attractiveness I feel that is acts as a method of reciprocating the
patients 'gift of trust' I know this sounds really corny but I can't think of another way of putting it, this reflects the
concept, in communication literature, of things like mimicry which is considered to be a good communication
strategy.
10. Responding appropriately
We have covered a large amount of material so far, starting with the 5’W’s & H questions then moving onto our
beliefs, then looking at non-verbal communication to end with how we possibly respond inappropriately verbally.
Now I think we can begin to think about how we should respond verbally. Interestingly several communications
experts believe it is not so much the question of responding appropriately but more a questions of actively listening
which follows on nicely from the last section about inappropriate mental rehearsing when you should be listening!
So let's look at listening in a little more depth.
10.1 Levels of listening
Steven Covey, the management guru, in his book, “The seven habits of highly effective people”, says there are six
different levels of listening:
• peripheral (inattentive, as if background noise)
• ignoring (deliberately dismissive)
• pretending (pretending to be interested)
• selective (only interested in what we choose)
• attentive (listening to every word without thinking about the underlying feelings and meaning)
• empathic (understanding the feeling and meaning - understanding how the other person really feels and
why)
We need to try very hard to get beyond the attentive level, because this requires us to project ourselves into the
other person’s situation (empathic listening is sometimes called projective listening).
Empathic listening is about seeing how the other person sees and feeling like they feel. We must see things from
their frame of reference, from where they see the subject matter in their own particular way (Taken from
http://www.businessballs.com/empathy.htm by Alan Chapman). This is also described as perspective taking in the
communication literature.
The university of Leeds provides some excellent online material concerned with both assessing your listening skills
and also learning how to improve them at: http://learnhigher.ac.uk/resources_for_students/Listening-and-
interpersonal-skills/Further-activities-and-resources/Listening-skills.html

Introduction
Consider the various responses in the previous exercise if you want to write down for each of them what
the person might possibly be feeling after you have given your response.
You can read about Steven Covey at: https://www.stephencovey.com/about/about.php if you want to.
Read about the term he came up with 'emotional bank account' at: http://eqi.org/eba.htm
10.2 General responses
Most communications books provide a list of how you should respond, dividing the responses up into several
different types, for example the table below gives three categories of appropriate responses; acknowledging the
emotional aspect, paraphrasing what the person has said to you and finally questioning.
Effective/Supportive Responses Purpose
Paraphrasing: restating, in your own words, the
content of the message received.
a. Encourages further communication
b. Serves as a perception check
Asking Questions: attempting to delve further into
the message.
1. Must be asked in a non-threatening manner
2. Must be asked for the right purpose
3. Should be open-ended
4. Must not suggest interrogation
5. Listener is sensitive to evidence of reluctance
a. To get more information
b. To clarify information
c. To hint at a different perspective
A. Validating: labelling the emotion
a. Encourages further communication
b. Serves as a perception check
from: http://willmar.ridgewater.mnscu.edu/green/223/empathic.html [no longer available]
10.3 Open / closed questions
The above table provides some guidance about asking questions including the
recommendation that the questions should if possible be ‘open-ended’. What does this
mean? Open ended questions require the person to respond with a sentence rather than
a single word such as yes /no or a similar choice. So you may be asking yourself are
there any particular techniques, such as phases I can use to help me ask open
questions? Lets see if we can use something I introduced to you at the beginning of the
chapter. At the very start we met the 5 W’s & H criteria, now revisiting them we can see
some of them encourage open ended responses more than others. For example “What
do you want to do to-day” would probably give a short (closed response) whereas “Why
do you want to do that do-day” or “how do you feel about doing X to-day” would probably
give a more detailed and informative response. However ‘What’ should not be seen as
5 W’s & H criteria
Why
What
When
Where
Who
How

Introduction
always resulting in closed responses, for example the dreaded interview question “What do you see yourself doing
in 10 years” is very open!
Open-ended questions are often called probes, because
they frequently follow on from closed questions, here are
some examples.
The example opposite is taken from a course on the Ohio
Library Council staff training site
http://www.olc.org/Ore/2answer.htm
The third type of general response in the table on the
previous page is concerned with acknowledging the emotional content of the message, lets discuss this in detail.
10.4 Empathic responding
You could possibly think that responding empathically is just acknowledging the emotional element of the message
but it is far more. This is how one book describes it in the health care context:
“The ability to listen effectively to the emotional meaning in a patient’s message is the essence of empathy.
Empathy conveys understanding in a caring, accepting, non-judgemental way. The world is perceived from
the patient’s point of view.“ (Tindall & Beardsley et al. 2003 p66)
This implies that there are two elements:
• You respond VERBALLY to the EMOTIONAL content of the message
• You adopt the other person’s POINT of VIEW
I personally do not think that this means you should relinquish your view point but rather be able to cross between
the two.
So how can one respond empathically? Lets take an example.
• Patient: I don’t know about my doctor. One time I go to him and he’s nice as he can be. Next time he’s rude
- I swear I won’t go back again.
• Non-empathic response from pharmacist: He seems to be very inconsistent
• Empathic response: You must feel very uncomfortable going to see him if you never know what to expect
from him. (Taken from Tindall & Beardsley & Kimberlin 2003 p66).
For the following statement, develop 5 possible responses. Make no more than two of them inappropriate.
Assume this is a person you care about.
I'm so fed up with Chris. Once again, he was an hour late last night. Sometimes I think he cares
more about his buddies than me.
1
2
3
4
5
From: http://willmar.ridgewater.mnscu.edu/green/223/respex2.htm
Closed question Open ended response/question
I need information on a '57
Chevy.
What kind of information do you
need about a '57 Chevy?
Do you have any material
on Turkey?
Is there something specific you
need to know about Turkey?
Where's the small business
section?
Can you give me an example of
the kind of information you are
looking for on small businesses?

Introduction
We will be looking in much more depth at empathic communication in other chapters concerned with communication
but I think we have done enough for now. I would like to briefly consider the other side of the coin. Empathy is
concerned with giving but often the desire is to actually get people to like us (it may well be the main motivator for
being empathic!). Leil Lowndes (his book ‘how to talk to anyone’ I quoted from earlier you may remember) has also
written ‘How to make anyone like you’ suggesting that he also has this point of view in mind. Browsing the chapter
headings in the book reinforces this; ‘Do you carry enough friend insurance?’ As well as ‘Making deposits in the
good neighbour account.’ The idea that you can use empathic responding as a sales technique also suggests
much the same thing.
11. Persuasion and compliance gaining strategies
During the 1960’s research into persuasion and
compliance became important aspects of both sociology
(Marwell & Schmitt 1967 - opposite) and psychology with
Milgrams compliance experiments
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment and also
search on YouTube) and Zimbardo’s Stanford prison
simulation experiment
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimbardo and again
YouTube).
The upshot is that we are far more compliant and
malleable than we would ever care to admit to being.
Looking opposite, at Marwell & Schmitt’s compliance
gaining strategies always gives me a jolt realising how
much one uses, and is manipulated by such techniques.
Research is ongoing concerning Marwell & Schmitt’s
compliance gaining strategies; just try typing their names
into Google scholar. However there is much criticism of
their work particularly its lack of any cognitive/emotional
component and several researchers have expanded the
approach to include this aspect along with the relationship
to different types of ‘power’ (Griffin 2006 p205; Littlejohn
& Foss p122-3).
Lets moves from this rather disquieting and
unsympathetic analysis of communication to focus once
again on the emotional component of messages and view
it this time as a type of intelligence.
If you are unaware of Migrams and Zimbardo’s research please have a look at the Web links given above.

Introduction
12. Emotional intelligence (EI)
To explain what Emotional intelligence is I have quoted from an article on the BBC web site
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/intelligence/emotional.shtml and http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3020953.stm [no
loger available]
Emotional intelligence, or EI is the ability to understand your own emotions and those of people around you. The concept of
emotional intelligence, developed by Daniel Goleman, means you have a self-awareness that enables you to recognise
feelings and helps you manage your emotions.
On a personal level, it involves motivation and being able to focus on a goal rather than demanding instant
gratification. A person with a high emotional intelligence is also capable of understanding the feelings of others.
Culturally, they are better at handling relationships of every kind.
Just because someone is deemed 'intellectually' intelligent, it does not necessarily follow they are emotionally
intelligent. Having a good memory, or good problem solving abilities, does not mean you are capable of dealing with
emotions or motivating yourself.
Highly intelligent people may lack the social skills that are associated with high emotional intelligence. Savants, who
show incredible intellectual abilities in narrow fields, are an extreme example of this: a mathematical genius may be
unable to relate to people socially.
However, high intellectual intelligence, combined with low emotional intelligence, is relatively rare and a person can
be both intellectually and emotionally intelligent.
Does socialising make you clever?
Both emotional and intellectual problems are more easily resolved when in a good mood, which to some extent
depends on emotional intelligence. Self-motivated students tend to do better in school exams.
Studying and socialising
The ability to interact well with others and having a good group of friends, means students are more likely to remain
in education, whereas those with emotional difficulties tend to drop out.
On the negative side, low emotional intelligence can affect intellectual capabilities. Depression interferes with
memory and concentration. Psychological tests show feelings of rejection can dramatically reduce IQ by about 25%.
Rejection increased feelings of aggressiveness and reduced self-control.
It is this quality of self-control, rather than being impulsive, which is regarded as necessary to perform well in IQ
tests. So a low emotional intelligence may limit intellectual performance.
From the above information I think you can say that EI is basically:
o Self awareness (self awareness, Accurate self assessment, Self confidence)
o Self management (gratification & emotional distress management, self control adaptability etc)
o Social awareness (empathy, organisational awareness service orientation)
o Social skills (leadership, conflict management, team working)
As with all forms of intelligence there is a debate as to how much of it is inherited and how much of it is learnt. I’m
sure you can see similarities between EI and Communication apprehension that we discussed in earlier sections.
Also there is a respected group of psychologists who argue that EI is nothing more than the above concepts
repackaged under yet another name.
Advocates of EI claim that those with high levels of EI perform better at work and are generally more successful.
Various companies have set-up training programmes in improving EI and ‘executive coaching’ (Watkin 1999).
1. The BBC analysis program "Testing the Emotions" broadcast on Sun, 13 Mar 2011, at 21:30 on BBC
Radio 4 discussed how the EI concept is being used in schools and how children are being tested
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00z5bqd
2. If you wish please take the emotional intelligence test at:
http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/eqtest.htm
3.If you are working through this chapter as part of an online course please tell your fellow students on the
discussion forum what you think of the EI concept and if you feel comfortable share your EI results.

Introduction
13. Summary
This introductory chapter has covered a wide range of topics concerned with communication. We started by looking
at communication using 6 questions (the 5 W’s & H criteria), considering the possible barriers and enhancers and
various levels. Once we felt comfortable with knowing what communication was we considered our own beliefs and
attitudes by completing several questionnaires including one measuring Communication Apprehension.
The fact that sometimes the majority of the meaning of a message is contained in the non-verbal aspect of the
communication was stressed and we looked at the various types (body language, paralanguage etc). The various
exercises in the section demonstrated amongst other things how strong the non-verbal clues are.
The next section considered our inappropriate and appropriate verbal responses. Once again the recognition of the
importance of not only being aware but actually talking about emotional aspects was highlighted, and clearly
demonstrated when ended by finally considering the trendy concept of emotional intelligence.
We also took a brief look at compliance and persuasion.
It is important to remember that this chapter has attempted to set the scene – much of the material has been
developed and adapted for many very different professional areas, and I’m sure you will have realised this as the
various topics were introduced.
Now please go back to the learning outcomes section and see how many of them you feel happy with.
After that you are free to move on to the next chapter if you wish.
I hope you have enjoyed working through this chapter and welcome feedback as to how I might improve it.
Robin Beaumont 14/01/2012 11:25:36

Introduction
14. References
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End of chapter

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