Conversation and NetworkingPresentation Tammy Gentry

A Penny for Your
Thoughts…
A Presentation on First
Impressions and Conversations
Tammy Gentry
Owner, CMD Gifts, LLC

Goals
 Help you “stack the deck”
in your favor
 Increase your awareness
and affirm what you’re
doing right
 Suggest ways make an
even better impression

Small Talk = Big Results
 Researchers at Stanford University
followed their School of Business (MBA)
graduates for 10 years after graduation
and found that the ability to
converse with others was a more
important indicator of success than any
other variable, including grade-point
average.

More Big Results
 Listening has been noted by executives to
be more important than any other talent,
including technical competence, computer
knowledge, admin-
istrative talent, and
creativity.

First Impressions
I like you.
=
I am like you.

I like you. = I am like you.
 When we say “I like you” to someone,
what we really mean is “I am like you.”
 People like, trust and feel comfortable
with people who are just like them.
 People hire people like themselves
 People date people like themselves
 People are friends with people like
themselves

Take the Lead
 Most people wait for others to make eye
contact first, to smile first, to talk first, and
to issue invitations first.
 Socially successful people actively work
to bring others into their lives. They start
conversations and they issue invitations.

Introductions and First
Impressions
 What makes up a first impression
 Establishing rapport
 Communicating after the introduction

What Makes Up a First
Impression
 55% body language
 38% voice tone
 7% words
- “Decoding of Inconsistent Communication”
Albert Mehrabian, UCLA

Nervous?
1. Nervousness =
excitement
2. Most people are as
eager as you to establish rapport.
3. 90% of all people are afraid to walk into
a room of people they don’t know and
mingle.

What Happens When You
Meet Someone
1. Meeting
2. Establishing rapport
3. Communicating
 These three parts happen quickly and
tend to blend together.
 It takes about 90 seconds to go from
step 1 to step 3.

What do you
communicate, without
saying a word, the most?
Your attitude

What Attitude Makes the
Worst Impression?
Anger

Helpful Attitudes
 warm, comfortable
 enthusiastic, optimistic
 confident, engaging
 hosting, helpful
 relaxed, patient
 interested, curious
 resourceful, clever
 humble, down-to-earth

Harmful Attitudes
 angry, cynical
 sarcastic, mocking
 impatient, bored
 anxious, worried
 rude, disrespectful
 conceited, superior
 pessimistic
 afraid, suspicious
 self-conscious, embarrassed
 complaining, whining

Meet and Greet
Smile
Open posture
Forward lean
Touch
Eye contact
Nod

Smile
 Be the first to smile
 Let your smile reflect your attitude
 Say “Hi” and your name
 Try to say his or her name two or three
times to help you remember it.

Open posture
 Open your attitude and your body.
 Keep your heart aimed directly at the
person you’re meeting.

Forward lean
 Almost imperceptible but shows your
interest and openness
 When possible, unbutton your jacket or
coat

Touch
 Make contact
 Shake their hand
 Put your hand on their back
 Place your hand on their arm

Eye contact
 Be first with eye contact
 Look directly in the other’s eyes
 It’s OK to look away when you’re talking

Nod
 Don’t nod at all = disagree, confused or
disinterested
 Single nod = agreement
 Repeated smaller and slower nods =
general understanding and encourage
others to elaborate
 Repeated faster nods = understand,
agree and want to interrupt

The Handshake
Ideal: firm and respectful
1. Step forward
2. Outstretch your right hand
3. Grasp palm to palm, shake once
4. Look in their left eye

Body Language
Stack the Deck
In Your Favor
 Point your heart at
the other person’s
heart
 Open hands,
uncrossed arms
 Leaning forward
Stack the Deck
Against You
 Avoid eye contact
 Cross your arms
 Turn sideways
 Fidgeting
 Wimpy handshake

What’s Your Face Saying?
 Open face – makes eye contact, gives
feedback, shows curiosity and raises
eyebrows to show interest
 Closed face – frowns, purses the lips,
avoids eye contact
 Coughing or sticking the tip of your
tongue out through closed lips or both
mean you disagree or don’t like what
you’re hearing

Don’t Fake It
“Since nonverbal behavior is regarded
as being outside of conscious control, the
nonverbal message will almost always be
the one believed when it conflicts with
verbal behavior.”
– Alan Garner, Conversationally Speaking

Establishing Rapport
 Rapport: a feeling of comfort and
connectedness between people;
the presence of
harmony, trust
and cooperation
in relationship.

Result of Rapport
“I don’t know what it is about this person,
but there’s something I really like.”

Synchronizing
 Synchronizing is a way of adapting to
others. You’re speeding up what would
happen naturally.
 Synchronizing = Stacking the deck
 (NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

Increase Common Ground
 Start to synchronize with the other
person:
 Attitude
 Body language
 Voice tone
 Match or mirror
 Subtle and respectful

Questions
 Make a statement about what you have
in common – the location or a person
 Ask open-ended question:
 Why, How, In what way…?
 Try not to ask closed-ended questions
(answers are one or two words):
 Are, Do, Who, When, Where, Which, Have
you… ?

Penny Stones
 “What person would you most like to
meet?” (pause) “Why?”
 “My friends and I were just talking
about…”
 Favorite place to visit
 What you’d love to try
 Your dream job
 Favorite childhood show,
game or gift
 Favorite summer memory

Networking Tips
 Most conversations = a few minutes
 Use information you’ve heard to change
topics.
 Optimum mingle time = 10 minutes
 Keep eye contact while the other person
is talking. You can look around the room
while you have the floor.

Networking Tips
 Keep it to 3, initially. After 3 sentences,
change the topic if they don’t ask a
question or seem interested.
 Tell a story
 Don’t interrupt
 Avoid 3C’s: complain, condemn, criticize
 There is no such thing as failure, there is
only feedback.

Terms to Avoid
 “That’s easy” or “That’s simple”
 Tagging: “… right?”, “… don’t you think?”
 Hedging: “I’m not an expert, but…”,
“I might be wrong, but…”
 Tagging and hedging take away from
your credibility.

Review: Stack the Deck
 Introductions
 S.O.F.T.E.N.
 Helpful attitude
 Networking tips
 Communicating your message

Bottom Line
1. Take a few of the suggestions and start
to incorporate them into your
conversations. Start with your attitude.
2. Communicate with more awareness
and more intention.
3. Remember most people wait for others
to lead. Use what you’ve learned and
take the lead.

Connect with Tammy
 LinkedIn: Tammy Gentry
 Email: cmdgentry@gmail.com
 Phone: 330-998-2509

References
 How to Make People Like You in 90
Seconds or Less by Nicholas Boothman
 Conversationally Speaking by Alan
Garner
 Talk Less, Say More by Connie Dieken

Conversation and NetworkingPresentation Tammy Gentry

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