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Creating
Communication
Exploring and Expanding
Your Fundamental
Communication Skills
Randy Fujishin
Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
Lanham • Boulder • New York • Toronto • Plymouth, UK
Second Edition

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Published in the United States of America
by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
A wholly owned subsidiary of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
www.rowmanlittlefield.com
Estover Road
Plymouth PL6 7PY
United Kingdom
Copyright © 2009 by Rowman & Littlefield
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior
permission of the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Fujishin, Randy.
Creating communication : exploring and expanding your fundamental
communication skills / Randy Fujishin. — 2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-0-7425-5562-4 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 0-7425-5562-3 (pbk. : alk. paper)
ISBN-13: 978-0-7425-6396-4 (electronic)
ISBN-10: 0-7425-6396-0 (electronic)
1. Communication. I. Title.
P90.F784 2008
153.6—dc22 2008017142
Printed in the United States of America
⬁™ The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of
American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper
for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Each one of us is an artist creating
an authentic life.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

ALSO BY RANDY FUJISHIN
The Natural Speaker
Creating Effective Groups
Discovering the Leader Within
Gifts from the Heart
Your Ministry of Conversation

vii
Contents
Preface . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi
CHAPTER 1 Creating Effective Communication in Your Life . . . . . . . . . . . 1
You Are an Artist of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
The Process of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Verbal and Nonverbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Components of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Models of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Perception . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Principles of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Do You Enlarge or Diminish Others? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Exploring Creative Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Expanding Your Creative Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
CHAPTER 2 Creating Positive Communication with Yourself . . . . . . . . . 19
What Do You Say to Yourself? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Creating New Messages to Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Your Self-Concept . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
How Self-Concept Develops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Listening Creatively to Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Speaking Creatively to Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Creating Positive Communication:
The S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Expanding Your Creative Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
CHAPTER 3 Creating Expressive Verbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Verbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Principles of Verbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

I-Statements—Owning Your Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
The Four Levels of Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Self-Disclosure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Gender Differences in Conversational Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Creating Expressive Verbal Messages: The C.R.E.A.T.I.V.E.
Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Exploring Creative Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Expanding Your Creative Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
CHAPTER 4 Creating Supportive Nonverbal Communication . . . . . . . . 53
Nonverbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Principles of Nonverbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Types of Nonverbal Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Creating Expanded Nonverbal Communication:
The T.O.U.C.H. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
CHAPTER 5 Creating Spacious Communication with
Another Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Creating Spacious Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Components of Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Characteristics of Culture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Verbal and Nonverbal Cultural Variables . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
Creating Communication with Another Culture:
The I.N.V.I.T.E. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
CHAPTER 6 Creating Receptive Communication as a Listener . . . . . . . . 78
The Importance of Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
The Process of Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Listening Styles to Avoid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Barriers to Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Acceptance—The Basis of Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
Active Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
Four Types of Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Creating Receptive Communication:
The E.A.R.S. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
viii C re at i n g C o m mu n i c at i o n

Contents ix
CHAPTER 7 Creating Healthy Communication in Relationships . . . . . . 95
Three Kinds of Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
The Circular Stages of Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
Principles of Healthy Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Best Relationship Interview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Creating Healthy Relationships:
The B.O.N.D. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Creating Healthy Self-Disclosure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Resolving Relationship Conflicts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Guidelines for Resolving Conflict . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
CHAPTER 8 Creating Cooperative Communication in Groups . . . . . . 112
Working in Small Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Elements of a Problem-Solving Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Characteristics of Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
Decision-Making Techniques . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
The Standard Problem-Solving Agenda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
Researching for a Discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Creating Effective Groups: The G.R.O.U.P. Technique . . . . 129
CHAPTER 9 Creating Guiding Communication as a Leader . . . . . . . . . 133
Definition of Leadership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
The Function of Group Leadership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Task Guiding Behaviors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
Social Guiding Behaviors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 137
Leadership Styles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139
Leading an Effective Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
Creating Healthy Leadership:
The L.I.G.H.T. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Exploring Creative Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
CHAPTER 10 Creating Skillful Communication in a Speech . . . . . . . . . . 148
Public Speaking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
Determining Your Specific Purpose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149

x C re at i n g C o m mu n i c at i o n
Analyzing the Speaking Situation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
Researching Your Speech . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Organizing Your Speech . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
Creating Your Speech Outline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159
Being an Ethical Speaker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
Speaker Delivery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162
Practicing Your Speech . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169
Creating Ease in Giving Speeches:
The S.P.E.A.K. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
CHAPTER 11 Creating Strategic Communication in Your Speeches . . . . 176
Informative Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Informative Strategy Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Basic Informative Speech Structures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Persuasive Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Persuasive Strategy Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
The Proposition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
Three Means of Persuasion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
Basic Persuasive Speech Structures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192
Creating Successful Speeches:
The F.O.C.U.S. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 194
Exploring Creative Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
CHAPTER 12 Creating Successful Communication
During an Interview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
Interviewing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
The Information-Gathering Interview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
The Employment Interview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
Creating a Successful Interview:
The W.I.N. Technique . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 212
Creating Creative Tasks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 214
Afterword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 216
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 217
Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223

xi
Preface
One word can change a conversation. One touch can soften an argument. One
smile can invite a friendship. One angry word withheld can save a relationship.
And one interaction can change your entire world.
I have witnessed hundreds of people create the beginnings to a new friendship
or bring healing to an old relationship with a single word or behavior. With one
statement or act, I have observed people like you and me encourage cooperation
between individuals in conflict or inspire passion in an audience.
As a teacher of speech communication and as a marriage and family therapist,
I have witnessed and heard the stories of how one gentle touch, one word of
encouragement, one smile, or one apology improved a relationship, enhanced a
job, or changed a life. Like artists, these people have created something new and
exciting, bringing forth harmony, unity, and joy to their lives, as well as to the
lives of others. Instead of using paint, oils, or clay, these artists use words and
behavior to create their masterpieces. We are these artists—you and I.
You are an artist, playing a large role in creating loving relationships, mean-
ingful careers, and rich, authentic lives. The way you communicate and interact
with those around you determines, to a great extent, the kind of person you
become. No single factor is more important in determining the nature of your
relationships and the quality of your life than the communication skills you learn
and develop.
I believe that with every word and behavior, you create the nature and quality
of your communication within yourself and with others. Each chapter in this
book addresses a specific dimension of your daily life, wherein you can create
more effective, successful, and meaningful communication by implementing
small, yet powerful changes in the way you speak, listen, and interact with others.
New to this second edition are sections dealing with being an ethical speaker,
avoiding plagiarism, expanded discussions of visual aid usage, electronic visual
aids, and note card usage. There are also new informative and persuasive sample
speech outlines. I have also added sections on self-disclosure in relationships,
relationship interviewing, asking questions, and self-awareness inventories. Many
new opening chapter stories provide added excitement and depth to this revised

edition, along with updated examples, illustrations, and anecdotes that round out
this second edition of Creating Communication.
It is my hope that after reading this book, you will know how to create com-
munication that will improve your personal relationships, enhance your partici-
pation and leadership in groups, develop your public speaking skills, and
strengthen your interviewing abilities. By exploring new communication behav-
iors and expanding your creative thinking, you will become an artist of commu-
nication, creating a more productive and meaningful life.
I would like to thank my executive editor, Niels Aaboe, for giving me the
opportunity to publish this second edition of Creating Communication. Special
thanks goes to my editor, Asa Johnson, for his insightful and encouraging guid-
ance on this project. My thanks to Paul Sanders and Steve Richmond for their
friendship. And most of all, I want to thank my wife, Vicky, and our sons, Tyler
and Jared. They have created a loving home that is the best place in all the world
for me.
It is to Vicky and our boys that I dedicate this book.
xii C re at i n g C o m mu n i c at i o n

O N E
1
Creating Effective
Communication
in Your Life
The highest art we create
is the way we live each day.
—Balinese saying
It was just another class assignment for Karen, but it changed her life.
The first homework assignment I give my communication students is to be
more spacious—more accepting and nonjudgmental—in their conversational lis-
tening. I coach them to punctuate their daily conversations with periods of
silence as they listen to others. Rather than verbally interrupt a speaker with judg-
ment, advice, encouragement, or questions every twelve seconds, which seems to
be the norm for my students, they are to listen without any interruptions for
thirty seconds or more, whatever students feel is appropriate for the speaker, the
topic, and the flow of the discussion.
“I thought this assignment would be boring—to listen so long without saying
anything,” Karen began.“But I tried it out on my mom last night and it was won-
derful! I would normally interrupt her after a few seconds, give my opinion, and
then just walk away.
“But last night was different! I let her talk for long periods of time without
interrupting, just like we practiced in class. At times, I kept quiet for thirty sec-
onds, and one or two minutes at other times. Sometimes even longer. It was so
weird. But she really opened up during our talk. In fact, she talked about things
I’ve never heard before—about Dad, her job, and how she feels about me.”
“So, your mom said things she normally wouldn’t tell you?” I asked.

“I think she’s always wanted to say these things, but I was the one who wasn’t
listening,” Karen admitted.“This assignment forced me to pay attention to her for
a change. I feel liked I’ve created a whole new relationship with her.”
“What a wonderful creation,” I said.
“I feel like I made something really important happen.”
“Almost like an artist,” I chuckled.
“Yeah, like an artist of communication!” she concluded.
YOU ARE AN ARTIST OF COMMUNICATION
Whether or not you realize it, you are an artist, and your life is the canvas on
which you will create your greatest work. Your most important creation will not
be a painting, a sculpture, or a book. Rather, it will be the person you become
during this lifetime.
Your greatest work will ultimately find its form and structure in the blending
of the broad brush stokes of your family, relationships, career, and education.
More important, it will be textured and imbued with the thousands upon thou-
sands of finer, more delicate brush stokes of every word and action you paint
each day on the canvas of your life.
It will be these smaller brush stokes during your everyday life—the way you
treat your loved ones, the manner in which you interact with people at school,
work, and in your neighborhood, and even the way you greet strangers—that will
most significantly determine the kind of person you become.
As an artist of communication, you help to create the atmosphere within
which your interactions with others occur. Whether it’s a quick smile to a
stranger, a heartfelt speech at a wedding reception, or a minute of attentive
silence when a loved one is speaking, you are creating the masterpiece of your life
moment by moment.
Now, you may be saying to yourself that “I’m no artist” or “Art is for those
who are trained or gifted.” But that’s not true. We are all creative, often con-
sciously selecting the words, behaviors, circumstances, responses, and attitudes
we bring to our communication interactions with the people in our lives. Artist
Edgar Whitney proclaims that “Every human being has creative powers. You
were born to create. Unleash your creative energy and let it flow.” Accept this
gentle challenge to create more effective communication in your life and let your
creative powers flow.
Every day you talk, listen, and interact with others. Most of the time, you speak
and listen more out of habit than anything else, not even vaguely aware of your role
in the communication process. But I’m inviting you not only to become more
aware and skilled in those fundamental communication skills, but also to become
more creative in the ways in which you think, speak, listen, and interact with others.
2 C re at i n g C o m mu n i c at i o n

If you don’t, you may be limiting your opportunities to effectively connect with
people.You may even be limiting your opportunities to develop as a person.
Author Thomas Moore warns against our reluctance and maybe even our fears
of becoming artists in our everyday lives: “When we leave art only to the accom-
plished painter and the museum, instead of fostering our own artful sensibilities
in every aspect of daily life, then our lives lose opportunities for soul.” Rather
than being unconscious, unconcerned, or disillusioned about how you commu-
nicate with others, take up this invitation to become an artist of communication
and create more effective communication in your lives.
Your acceptance, however, to create more effective communication will not
necessarily guarantee success in every interaction. Human communication is
much too complicated and involved. There are thousands of unconscious non-
verbal behaviors involved in even a single conversation and we are usually aware
of only a few of them during the course of the conversation.
The same holds true for the verbal dimension of that same conversation. The
hundreds of thousands of words in our language and the millions of possible
arrangements of those words are equally staggering. There is no possible way we
can consciously choose the perfect words and the perfect sentences for every
thought and feeling we wish to communicate.
Verbal and nonverbal communication are also governed by habit. It is easier to
say hello and smile as we pass others than it is to create a unique and special
greeting for each and every person. Effective communication requires that much
of our interaction with others be governed by habit. Otherwise, communication
would be too dense, clumsy, and overwhelming. Even if we could select the per-
fect words, sentences, and behaviors to communicate, there is no guarantee that
the recipient of the message would interpret the words and the behaviors in the
way we intended.
The process of human communication cannot be as intentional and pre-
dictable as the brush strokes on canvas or the careful shaping of clay. We cannot
control the viewers’ interpretation when they “see” our painting or statue. But in
communication with others, you can choose to be more aware of, sensitive to,
and selective of your words and behaviors. Your decision to consciously partici-
pate in the way you speak and listen to others will open the doors to more effec-
tive communication. As Karen learned, even one change in her communication
behavior—listening without interrupting—created more space for her mother to
share. This one change created a wonderful change in their relationship.
THE PROCESS OF COMMUNICATION
Let’s begin with an examination of communication itself, for it is communication
that enables us to experience our lives and share experiences with others. The
Creating Effective Communication in Your Life 3

late-night talks, the laughter, the gentle touches, the tears, the encouragement, and
the thousands upon thousands of other communication acts all combine to create
what you experience as life. Our communication
with others is not a little thing. It is life itself.
The importance of communication cannot
be overstated. Family therapist Virginia Satir has
suggested that “Once a human being has arrived
on this earth, communication is the single most
important factor determining what kinds of
relationships he makes and what happens to
him in the world.” Satir continues by stating in no uncertain terms that “How
he manages his survival, how he develops intimacy, and how he makes sense of
his world are largely dependent upon his communication skills.”
So, what exactly is communication? Let’s define communication in a way that
emphasizes your creative involvement in the communication process. Communi-
cation is the process whereby we create and exchange messages.
A Process
Any activity can be viewed as a thing or a process. A thing is static, time bound,
and unchanging. A process is moving, continually changing, with no beginning or
end. In our definition, communication is a process—something that is continually
changing. Individual words, sentences, and gestures have no meaning in isolation.
They make sense only when viewed as parts of an ongoing, dynamic process.
To fully understand the process of communication, we must notice how what
we say and do influences and affects what the other person says and does. We
must pay attention to the changes we experience and how these changes influence
and affect our perception, interpretation, and interactions with others, from
moment to moment, year to year, and decade to decade.
Similarly, we also need to be sensitive to the ongoing changes in those we com-
municate with because they are changing too. Communication is alive, and to
fully appreciate it requires that we view it as a dynamic, fluid, and continually
changing process.
Creating Messages
Language in any culture contains thousands if not hundreds of thousands of words
to select from and arrange in endless combinations to form the basic structures of
verbal communication. There are even more subtle and not-so-subtle nonverbal
(or nonlanguage) communication behaviors that can be added to the mix.
It is our ability to create messages from the verbal and nonverbal dimensions
of communication that truly distinguishes us from all other forms of life. Our
All the arts we practice
are mere apprenticeship.
The big art is our life.
—M. C. RICHARDS

ability to create communication not only is the most significant way humans dif-
fer from animals and plants, but it also may be one of the deepest and strongest
drives within us—to express and share who we are. What more powerful and sig-
nificant way to express who and what we are than by communicating our
thoughts and feelings with others?
Exchanging Messages
After selecting the words, sentences, and nonverbal cues to form the thought or
feeling we are attempting to communicate, we send the message to the recipient,
who processes the message and gives a response in the form of feedback. The recip-
ient’s role in the communication process is also a creative process, because what he
or she selectively perceives and interprets from the original message will determine
the meaning of the message for him or her. The message recipient then creates a
response from all the words and nonverbal behaviors available. Receiving and cre-
ating a response is just as important as creating and sending the original message.
VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
The communication process has two forms—verbal and nonverbal. Both forms
usually operate together in the majority of messages you send and receive.
Verbal communication is all spoken and written communication. A mother
whispering reassuring words to a child, a speaker addressing an audience of
five thousand, or a sunbather reading a book on the beach is utilizing verbal
communication.
Nonverbal communication is all communication that is not spoken or writ-
ten. It is your body type, voice, facial expressions, gestures, movement, clothing,
and touch. It is your use of distance, use of time, and the environment you create.
It is your laughter, your tears, your gentle touch, your relaxed breathing, the car
you drive, and the color of your pen. All these things and countless others make
up your nonverbal communication.
Verbal communication and nonverbal communication enable you and me to
communicate. They provide all that is necessary for the process of connecting,
and it is our privilege to use them creatively, effectively, and meaningfully.
COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION
Even though the following seven components of communication operate almost
instantaneously, we will examine them separately to more clearly understand
their specific function. The seven components are source, message, receiver,
encoding, channel, decoding, and context.

Source
The source is the originator of the message. It is the person or persons who want to
communicate a message to another person or a group of people. The source of a
message can be an individual speaker addressing a group, a child asking for candy, a
couple sending out invitations to a family reunion, or a person writing a letter.
Message
The message is the idea, thought, or feeling that the source wants to communi-
cate. This message is encoded or converted into verbal and nonverbal symbols
that will most likely be understood by the receiver.
Receiver
The receiver is the recipient of the message. The receiver can be an individual or a
group of people. Once the receiver hears the words and receives the nonverbal cues
from the sender, she must interpret or decode them if communication is to occur.
Encoding
Once the source has decided on a message to communicate, he must encode or
convert that idea, thought, or feeling into verbal and nonverbal symbols that will
be most effectively understood by the receiver. This encoding process can be
extremely creative because there are unlimited ways for the source to convert the
idea or feeling into words and behaviors.
Consider a simple message such as “I want to see you again.” The source can
simply say, “I want to see you again,” and smile as he says the words. He can also
say, “Let’s get together again,” and cast a humorous glance, or he can murmur, “I
need to see you again,” with direct eye contact and outstretched arms. He could
simply scribble a note on a napkin saying, “We need an encore,” and place it gen-
tly in front of the other person. There are countless ways to encode this simple
message and each one would be received and interpreted by the recipient in a
slightly different way.
The important thing to remember is that you can open yourself up to the end-
less possibilities of selecting, arranging, and delivering messages you want to
communicate. Your willingness to put greater creativity into the encoding process
will enhance and deepen your communication with others.
Channel
A channel is the medium by which the message is communicated. The source can
utilize the channels of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. For instance, if you
want to communicate affection for another person, you can utilize a variety of
channels or combination of channels. You can say, “I like you” (sound). You can
give a hug (touch). You can wink an eye (sight). You can send cookies that you

baked (taste). Or you can deliver a dozen roses (smell). You can creatively select
the channels of communication to productively communicate your message.
Decoding
Decoding is the process of making sense out of the message received. The receiver
must decipher the language and behaviors sent by the source so they will have
meaning. After the receiver decodes the message, the receiver (now the source)
can encode a return message and send it back to the other person.
Context
All communication occurs within a certain context. The context is made up of
the physical surroundings, the occasion in which the communication occurs, the
time, the number of people present, noise level, and many other variables that
can influence and affect the encoding and decoding of messages. The context
plays an important role in the communication process.
As you consider the effects that the context can have on communication, you
might want to put your creativity to good use. Think of ways you can create a
serene, healthy, and productive communication environment. Simple things like
choosing a time when you both have an opportunity to meet. Making the actual
physical surroundings clean, uncluttered, and peaceful. Maybe straightening up
the house, buying some flowers to cheer the place up, and even putting on some
soothing background music. Perhaps a drive in the country or a walk in a park will
create a more relaxed context in which you can communicate more effectively.
Whatever you do, remember that you can have some influence over the context in
which communication occurs within your life.
MODELS OF COMMUNICATION
Models provide a concrete way to see how concepts and processes work. We’ll
look at three communication models that show how the various communication
components interact. Although models help simplify the complex process of
communication, keep in mind that they only represent reality.
Models are like words.Words are not reality. They cannot tell us everything about
an object or event. For instance, the word “apple” is not an actual apple. You cannot
slice or eat the word“apple”as you can a real one. The word“apple”does not tell you
everything about an apple either—the smell, the coloring, the texture, the taste, the
degree of ripeness, and whether or not the price sticker is still glued to the skin.
Like words, these three models of communication are not reality. They cannot
begin to tell us everything about the processes they are intended to describe.
However, they are extremely valuable in helping us visualize and understand the
process of human communication.

Linear Model
One of the simplest models of communication was advanced by C. E. Shannon
and W. Weaver in 1949. Their conceptualization represents a message-centered
view of communication that is linear in design. This model has a source sending
a message through a channel to a receiver, a process similar to a telephone. Shan-
non and Weaver introduced a component labeled noise to represent any interfer-
ence to the fidelity of the message, such as physical noise from other people’s loud
talking or internal noise such as multiple meanings for a word contained in the
message. The linear model of communication, shown below, is a “one-way”
model because it fails to depict the receiver’s feedback or response.
The linear model is useful for pointing out the basic elements of the commu-
nication process, but it is far too simple to describe the complexity of the process.
It shows only the flow of messages from the sender to the receiver, but not the
receiver’s response.
Interactional Model
Communication involves more than the message transmission portrayed in the
linear model. The feedback must be taken into account. Feedback is the process
of sending information from the receiver back to the source. The source uses this
feedback to adjust her message based on what the receiver communicated. The
source’s modification of the original message is called adaptation. The illustra-
tion below shows how feedback and adaptation operate in the interactional
model of communication. The source sends a message to the receiver, the receiver
responds with feedback, and the source adapts her message until the message is
successfully communicated.
Source
encodes
message
Message/Adaptation
Feedback
Receiver
decodes
message
CHANNELS
NOISE
NOISE
Source Message Receiver
CHANNEL
NOISE

Again, this model is too simple to accurately reflect the communication
process.
Transactional Model
Often, messages are sent and received simultaneously, and the “source” and
“receiver” may be one or more individuals. In fact, these individuals are more
accurately described as communicators, individuals who simultaneously send
and receive messages. This is one of the primary characteristics of the transac-
tional model of communication.
The most important idea of the transactional model is that communication
operates systemically. A system is a collection of interdependent parts arrayed in
such a way that a change in one of its components will affect changes in all the
other components. In the transactional model, the various components or parts
of communication are not viewed as independent of one another, but as interde-
pendent. A change in one produces a change in all the others.
The systemic view presented in the transactional model, shown below,
includes the basic components of the first two models, yet also considers the
context in which communication occurs, the number of people involved, the
background of those individuals, and the simultaneity of the source and
receiver roles.
Communication never takes place in a vacuum, but in a specific context or
environmental setting. To understand a communication event, we need to know
where and under what circumstances people are communicating, because these
have a major influence on the individuals involved. For example, discussing vaca-
tion plans in the comfort of your own living room with a friend would be entirely
different from discussing them in the front row of a rock concert or during a
funeral service.
Although communication often occurs between two people, there are many
times when more than two individuals are involved. The addition of even one
person to a conversation between two people can dramatically change its out-
come. A speaker will have a very different speaking experience addressing an
audience of five colleagues than facing an audience of five thousand. The number
of people affects the communication event.
Communicator 1
sends/receives
encodes/decodes
Communicator 2
sends/receives
encodes/decodes
Messages
CONTEXT

The backgrounds of the individuals involved—the cultural, psychological,
physical, gender, age, and other demographic differences and similarities—
influence the communication. Do the individuals speak the same language?
How might gender affect communication styles and responses? Will age differ-
ences influence the interpretation of a message? What will be the effect of edu-
cational differences? What about cultural differences?
Unlike the earlier models of communication, the transactional model does not
make a distinction between the source and the receiver. In reality, you are sending
and receiving messages simultaneously and continually as you communicate with
others. As you are speaking, you are also receiving information from the listener.
You see her nodding, shifting posture, and smiling. As you are listening to her
response, you are simultaneously sending messages with your diverted gaze,
slouching posture, and audible yawn. This simultaneous nature of communica-
tion transactions allows you to modify or change the messages you are sending
even as you speak. A change in one element of a system can bring about a change
in the other elements.
The important thing to remember about the transactional model is that the
individuals communicating have an impact on each other. In this respect, what
and how you communicate—your choice of words and actions—can influence
and change others.
Remember Karen? Her mother shared more deeply because Karen listened
in a new way. Karen’s perception of the event may be that her mother changed.
But Karen also changed. She not only changed her listening behavior, but she
also became more open to her mother, more knowledgeable of her mother’s
life, more accepting, and perhaps a bit more loving. The relationship changed
for both women because Karen chose to create a different listening environ-
ment for her mother. Keep in mind your creative influence as you speak and lis-
ten to others.
PERCEPTION
To more fully understand communication, we must recognize the importance of
perception. Perception is the process by which we assign meaning to a stimulus.
Or put another way, perception is giving meaning to the things we see and expe-
rience. If an attractive stranger smiles at you at a party, what do you immediately
think? Is the person simply being polite and acknowledging you? Recognizing
you from somewhere else? Actually smiling at the person behind you? Maybe
even flirting with you? Or perhaps the person is experiencing intestinal gas pains
and is attempting to hide the discomfort? What’s your guess? These are just a few
meanings we can assign to that stimulus.

Selection
The process of perception involves our five senses. We see, hear, touch, smell, and
taste. From these five senses we take in the stimuli of the world. It’s from these
five senses that we receive information to make sense of our lives. Because we are
exposed to much more stimuli than we could ever manage, the first step in per-
ception is to select which stimuli to attend to. In other words, we don’t attend to
every stimulus that is present at any given moment.
Even in the location where you’re reading this book, if you were to count each
stimulus in your field of vision, the number would be in the thousands, perhaps
the tens of thousands. To pay attention to each stimulus at the same moment
would be impossible. So you have to decide—do you select the words in this sen-
tence or gaze at your left foot? Each selection changes your focus of vision. You
can’t select all the things, so you must select a few.
Interpretation
Once we have selected our perceptions, the second step is to interpret them in a
way that makes sense to us. Interpretation is the act of assigning meaning to a
stimulus. It plays a role in every communication
act we encounter. Is a friend’s humorous remark
intended to express fondness or irritation? Does
your supervisor’s request for an immediate meet-
ing with you communicate trouble or a pay raise?
When an acquaintance says, “Let’s do lunch,” is
the invitation serious or not? Almost every com-
munication act we encounter involves some level
of interpretation on our part. Let’s examine some
factors that influence our perception.
Physical factors. The most obvious factors that influence our interpretation
are physical. What is the condition of our five senses? Can we see accurately or
do we need glasses? Can we hear sufficiently or is our hearing diminished by
age? Can we smell and taste sharply or are allergies causing difficulties? Can you
touch and feel with adequate sensitivity or do clothing and gloves make it hard?
The time of day affects how we physically process the sensory input. Are you
more awake in the morning or late at night? Some people are most alert and
attentive in the morning, while others come alive late at night.
Your general state of health can influence interpretation. When you are ill,
hungry, or depressed, you see and experience a very different world than when
you are healthy, well fed, and cheerful.
Age also can affect your interpretation. Older people view the world and events
with a great deal more experience than do younger people. By simply having lived
longer, older people have generally been through more of life’s developmental
To paint beautifully, you
must first see the beauty
in the object you are
painting.
—GEORGIA O’KEEFFE

stages—early adulthood, parenthood, grandparenthood, retirement. Younger peo-
ple, on the other hand, usually have much more physical energy and time to play,
explore, and investigate the world around them. With fewer life experiences,
younger people interpret life differently.
Other physical factors are fatigue, hunger, stress, monthly biological cycles,
diet, and exercise. Our bodies play an important role in our interpretation of the
world.
Psychological factors. The second category of factors that influence interpre-
tation is psychological or mental. For example, education and knowledge affect
how we see the world around us. An individual who never went beyond the sev-
enth grade sees a much different world than an individual who has completed law
school. A trained botanist sees a forest far differently than does a first-grader.
Past experiences also affect how we interpret perceptions. Someone who grew
up happily on a farm may view rural environments very differently than some-
one who grew up in New York City. A victim of robbery may be more fearful of a
darkened street than someone who has never experienced a crime. An individual
who grew up in a loving, stable family may have a more positive view of raising
children than a person who grew up in a cold, unstable family.
Assumptions about people and the world in general influence interpretations
also. A belief that people are basically good and honest, or basically untrustwor-
thy and self-serving, will affect how we view the actions of others.
Finally, moods will influence how we interpret the things we see and experi-
ence. When we are feeling successful and competent, we see a very different world
than when we are feeling sad, lonely, and depressed.
Cultural factors. A person’s cultural background can affect and influence his
or her interpretation of the world. Chapter 5 is devoted to intercultural commu-
nication and the role culture plays in how we communicate with those who are
different from us. For now, we’ll just briefly mention some cultural factors that
influence perception.
Every culture has its own worldview, language, customs, rituals, artifacts, tra-
ditions, and habits. These factors not only affect how people perceive and interact
with one another within a given culture, but also they influence how they interact
with people of different cultures.
Culture can shape and determine how an indi-
vidual sees the world. Americans interpret direct
eye contact as a sign of confidence, honesty, and
politeness, whereas Japanese interpret the same
direct eye contact as rude and confrontational.
People from Middle Eastern countries often con-
verse within a few inches of each other’s face,
whereas Americans would find such closeness a
This present moment is
filled with joy and
happiness. If you are
attentive, you will see it.
—THICH NHAT HANH

violation of personal space. For Americans, the “okay” sign made with the thumb
and the forefinger is a sign that everything is fine, but in many cultures it is an
obscene gesture.
Position in space. The final factor that influences perception is position in
space. Where we are determines how we see things. For instance, if you sit at the
back of a classroom, you will perceive a very different environment than if you sit
in the front row, right under the nose of the lecturer. The same holds true for adult
interaction with children. You will perceive children differently if you kneel down
to their eye level rather than stand over them. You even pay higher prices for better
viewing positions. Think of the last concert, sporting event, or resort you attended
or visited. The closer seats or the rooms with a view generally cost more.
Perception Checking
Because so many factors influence perception, what can we do to create more
effective communication? Perception checking is a method for inviting feedback
on our interpretations. Perception checking involves three steps:
1. An observation of a particular behavior.
2. Two possible interpretations of that behavior.
3. A request for clarification about how to interpret that behavior.
Many times people observe and interpret the behavior, and that’s the end of it.
Often their interpretations can be easily and readily corrected with a simple per-
ception check. Here are two examples of how perception checking works:
“I noticed you haven’t been in class for the past two weeks.
(observed behavior) I wasn’t sure whether you’ve been sick (first
interpretation) or were dropping the class. (second interpretation)
What’s up?” (request for clarification)
“You walked right past me without saying hello. (observed behavior)
It makes me curious if you’re mad at me (first interpretation) or just
in a hurry. (second interpretation) How are you feeling?” (request for
clarification)
Often, perception checking is more to the point. You may not want to use all
three steps:
“I see you rolling your eyes at me. (observed behavior) What’s the
matter?” (invitation for clarification)
“Are you certain you want to go to the movies? (request for
clarification) You don’t act like you’re too enthusiastic.” (observed
behavior)

Perception checking can be a simple technique for clarifying communication
behavior in a way that is not threatening or confrontational. It simply asks for
clarification.
PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION
Certain generally accepted truths or principles of communication are important
to consider when communicating with others. These principles hold true for all
people in every culture. By understanding these principles, you will experience
greater communication effectiveness.
Communication Is Constant
You cannot not communicate. In other words, you are always communicating.
Too often we think that if we are not talking, we are not communicating. You
may not be communicating verbally, but your nonverbal communication is con-
stantly displaying signs and cues that reflect what you are thinking and feeling
internally. Your posture, gestures, facial expressions, clothing, use of time, and
even the car you drive are just a few of the nonverbal messages that others per-
ceive and interpret.
Even when you are speaking, your tone of voice, rate of speech, pitch, volume,
pauses or lack of pauses, and vocal fillers such as “ah” and “um” are some of the
nonverbal behaviors that can convey what you’re thinking and feeling beneath
the level of language. You’re always communicating.
Communication Is Transactional
Communication can be viewed as a transaction in which the meanings of mes-
sages are negotiated between people. Unlike the earlier linear and interactional
models, which view communication as primarily sending and receiving intact
and unchanging messages, the transactional model considers to a greater extent
the complexities of the individuals involved, the environment, and the influence
the communicators have on one another.
At a deeper level, the transactional nature of communication encourages us to
regard others and ourselves in a much more complex way. We can no longer view
the receiver of our messages as a receptacle in which we deposit our thoughts and
feelings with little or no message distortion. The transactional nature of commu-
nication creates a more other-centered awareness and sensitivity to others. No
longer can we be limited to our earlier preoccupation with getting our message
across. Instead, we shift our focus from self to other to participate equally in
communication exchanges or transactions in which the receiver is regarded with
greater sensitivity and respect.

Communication Is a Process
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said that you never step twice into the same
river. What he meant was that a river is never exactly the same as it continually
twists and turns, constantly changing in depth and speed, as it flows in its journey
from the snowcapped mountains to the sea hundreds of miles away.
Communication is a process like a river. It is continuous and always changing.
You can begin to understand and appreciate communication only when you view
the individual words, sentences, and gestures of communication as a part of an
ongoing process. One sentence or gesture may hold very little meaning in and of
itself. But viewed from a larger, more dynamic process perspective, the sentence
or gesture takes on a different meaning. To understand the process of communi-
cation, we need to consider how our words and actions influence and affect the
recipient of our message.
We, the creators of these messages, are also in process. How we perceive the
world and communicate with others when we first get up in the morning can be
vastly different from how we perceive and communicate during the late hours of
evening. From moment to moment, like a river, we twist and turn, constantly
changing the depth of our perceptions, thoughts, and feelings as we travel from
morning to evening. From year to year, decade to decade, we change dramatically
in our interests, beliefs, fears, and desires. What spoke to our ears and hearts in
our youth may not ring true in our middle and later years. We are constantly
changing.
Communication Is Irreversible
“Forget I said that.” “I’m sorry I did that. Let’s pretend it never happened.” We
have all issued statements like these in an attempt to erase or diminish the impact
of an angry word or action. Even though the other person agreed to forget or dis-
miss the statement or behavior, the memory of a careless word or deed can last a
lifetime. I’m sure you can recall a stinging criticism or hurtful act you experi-
enced during childhood. The memory of the criticism or act can linger and haunt
you many years later.
Likewise, uplifting, positive, and healing words and deeds can also be carried
in the hearts and minds of others forever. I remember my father waking me
before sunrise and taking me to the local café in our farming community when I
was four years old. He would carry me sleepy eyed to the counter where he would
plop me down on a stool and announce to the other farmers, “This is my boy!”
Many a predawn breakfast at the Coyote Cafe began with his proud announce-
ment and the other farmers’ chiding chorus of “We know, Mike. We know. . . .”
More than four decades have passed since those predawn breakfasts, but I’ll never
forget my dad’s pride and love as he carried me into that café and proudly
announced,“This is my boy.”

Your every word and deed can leave an indelible imprint on the minds and
hearts of others. Be conscious of your choices as you create messages to others.
Communication Is Learned
Research suggests that crying and laughing are interpreted similarly by peoples of
all cultures. But more often than not, our communication patterns and behaviors
are learned. The language we acquire, the extent of our vocabulary, the way we
speak, our gestures, eye contact, our touching, and how we dress are just a few of
the many examples of learned communication behavior.
Communication is also learned in a cultural context that is so pervasive and
extensive that we are often unaware of it. We mistakenly assume that “our” way of
communicating and expressing is the “right” way and all the other cultures are
wrong. This notion of ethnocentrism is explored in chapter 5, but for now, we
need only appreciate the fact that most people view their way of communicating
as the “right” way.
The principle that communication is learned suggests also that communica-
tion can be unlearned and new ways of communicating acquired. This is most
exciting because then we can replace our ineffective and unhealthy ways of speak-
ing, listening, and behaving with more effective and healthy ways. Because we did
not learn to communicate in effective and healthy ways does not mean we are
condemned to this fate for the rest of our lives.
Communication Is Creative
The last principle of communication is that it is creative. This creativity is much
broader than the creativity associated with art, music, and poetry. It is the cre-
ativity expressed in your daily communication, in the unique and special ways
you communicate: When you choose to be silent. The way you listen. The times
you choose to speak. The words you select from your vocabulary palette and the
sentences you create. The combinations of facial
expressions, gestures, movements, and postures
you choose to express your thoughts and feel-
ings. The letters you send. The telephone calls
you make. The clothes you wear. The car you
drive. The room you decorate. The home you live
in. These are just some of the ways you create
communication in your life.
Your communication and the impact it has on
others does not just happen. You make it happen.
You decide whether or not to return a phone call. You decide whether or not to
respond to a lunch invitation. You decide whether to respond in kindness or in
anger to a criticism leveled your way. You create by choosing one behavior and not
another. You are always creating something in your communication life.
Your life has been your
art. You have set yourself
to music and your days
are your sonnets.
—OSCAR WILDE

DO YOU ENLARGE OR DIMINISH OTHERS?
I believe that we enlarge or diminish others with our communication. We heal or
hurt others with our words. People go away from our interactions feeling a little
better or a little worse than before.
You are free to create the words and behaviors that will ultimately enlarge or
diminish the recipient of your message. No one is writing your script or coaching
your movements and gestures. You are ultimately the scriptwriter, the dialogue
coach, the director, and the speaker who will deliver the lines. You are given a great
deal of creative latitude for how you create your messages during your life. What
will you create? Will you enlarge or diminish others with your communication?
Inside you there is an artist you might not know just yet. But relax, continue
reading, and gently welcome the artist within you. The highest art you will ever
create lies ahead—the art of communication.
E X P L O R I N G C R E A T I V E T A S K S
1. Listen for thirty seconds or more without verbally interrupting a friend during a
conversation. What changes did that create? What was your friend’s response? How
did you feel not interrupting as much?
2. Use perception checking in situations when another person’s communication or
behavior is confusing, ambiguous, or unclear. What were the results of your
perception check? What changes did it create in the conversation?
3. List ten positive characteristics or traits a friend possesses. Share the list with your
friend. In your opinion, was the experience enlarging or diminishing for your
friend? What makes you think so? Has this conversation changed you relationship?
4. Keep a daily journal of specific instances when you were consciously aware of
attempting to create more positive messages to others. What does it feel like to keep
this journal? What are you learning about yourself? About others?
E X P A N D I N G Y O U R C R E A T I V E T H I N K I N G
1. What are some of your current creative activities or hobbies? What art forms or
creative activities would you like to do in the future? What benefits do you think
you would derive from them? When would you like to begin these artful activities?
These exercises are intended to help you explore and experiment with
new ways of communicating in a variety of settings and to expand your
thoughts about who you are and the communication possibilities avail-
able to you.

2. In what specific ways could you be more positive and enlarging in your
communication with loved ones and friends? With coworkers and casual
acquaintances? How do you think more positive communication behaviors would
change your relationships with these people?
3. What factors influence your perception and communication during a given day?
When are you the most alert, positive, and energetic? Are there any specific ways
you modify or improve your “view” of others? What are they? Can you think of any
other ways to “see” the best in others?
4. List five specific changes that you could undertake that would make you more self-
accepting, calm, and loving. Tape this list to your bedroom mirror or your car
dashboard to remind yourself of your goals.

T W O
19
Creating Positive
Communication
with Yourself
You will talk and listen to yourself
more than anyone else in your lifetime.
What will your conversations be like?
—Joy Browne
Carlos looked tired and defeated as he sat in my office. He was currently enrolled
in my public speaking class and had come to tell me he was dropping the course.
“We haven’t even given our first speech, Carlos,” I said.
“I know, but I guess I’m just freaked out about the whole thing.”
“Are you concerned about your speech next week?”
“I guess,” he said.“I just can’t sleep at night since I started the class. I keep wor-
rying about the speech.”
“What kinds of things do you worry about?”
“I don’t know. I’m just worried.”
“No, really, what specifically do you see happening? What things do you hear
yourself saying or thinking?”
“I’m thinking I’ll make a mistake or forget what I’m supposed to say,” Carlos
said after a long pause.“They’ll think I’m stupid.”
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOURSELF?
No other individual will communicate with you more than you. What kinds of
things do you say to yourself when you are facing a difficult decision, a troubling
situation, or even the prospects of giving a speech? How do you talk to yourself?

If you are like most people, you give yourself a great deal of negative messages
about what you are capable of accomplishing, what the future holds, and who
you are. Shad Helmstetter in is book What to Say When You Talk to Your Self pres-
ents recent research suggesting that “77% of what we think is negative, counter-
productive, and works against us.” Well, the percentage of your negative thinking
might not be that high, but each of us experiences moments of self-criticism,
doubt, and worry many times a day.
Like Carlos, you and I are occasionally haunted by visions or voices in the
dead of night. We see images that worry or frighten us. We tell ourselves things
that erode our confidence, dampen our spirit, and darken our future. Like some
form of silent torture, these images and thoughts keep piercing our minds, often
making us want to escape, run away, or drop a course.
Yet when these visions or thoughts invade our serenity, most of us do nothing.
Oh, we might attempt to wish them away, drink them away, or even drop a class
or two. But we rarely confront or address them in any direct and constructive
fashion. We toss and turn in the darkness and remain victims to their taunting.
However, we can be more creative and dance with our demons in a new way.
CREATING NEW MESSAGES TO YOURSELF
One positive way you can deal with any negative thoughts is to use a technique
called “giving equal time to the opposite.” Normally when we experience a nega-
tive thought or disturbing image, we tend to remain focused on it or ruminate
minute after minute.
Well, if we were to add up the minutes spent
with this thought or image, the time would be
considerable. To make matters worse, the longer
we stay with the negative thought or image, the
more anxious, worried, and terrified we become
and we have created our own individual pathway
to hell. Somehow we need to return home to our
center, our quiet, our calmness.
“Giving equal time to the opposite” is an
effective technique in bringing us back, not just
to where we were before the worrying began, but
often to a better place. It provides a more positive and healthy way of regarding
ourselves.
The technique is simple. Fold a piece of lined binder paper in half lengthwise.
On the top of the left column, mark a minus sign (–), and on the top of the right
column, mark a plus sign (+). Whenever you experience a negative thought or
image about a specific topic or issue, write down the negative statement or sketch
a simple drawing of the negative vision you are experiencing in the left column
Turn on your creativity
and learn the craft of
knowing how to open
your heart. There’s a
light inside you.
—JUDITH JAMISON

Creating Positive Communication with Yourself 21
and indicate the number of minutes you have spent with it. For instance, Carlos
wrote, “I’ll forget what I’m supposed to say. = 2 minutes of worry time,” and he
sketched out a stick figure drawing of himself looking worried.
His task in the “giving equal time to the opposite” technique is to spend an
equal amount of time with the direct opposite thought and drawing. So, Carlos
wrote, “I will remember my speech = 2 minutes of positive talk time,” and
sketched a second stick figure drawing of him smiling. For the next two minutes,
he repeated the positive sentence “I will remember my speech,” over and over,
while looking at the drawing of him smiling while delivering his speech.
This technique may seem simplistic and even a little silly, but it forces you to
consciously break your negative thought pattern and replace it with its opposite.
You create the polar opposite of what you’ve been experiencing. From hell to par-
adise. It not only makes you aware of the amount of time you spend with these
negative messages, it requires that you give equal time to the opposite, positive
messages. This helps you to bring back balance.
My students and clients often experience great success with the “giving equal
time to the opposite” technique and usually report three responses. First, they
identified the specific thoughts and images that were actually bothering them.
Many times, we feel upset, anxious, or worried about something, but we don’t
label it or give it a picture. Once a negative thought or image is named or identi-
fied, we can begin to work with it more constructively.
Second, they report that actually “giving equal time to the opposite” for a few
minutes brings negative rumination to a stop, even if it is only for a few minutes.
Many students and clients regard this technique as silly and impractical, but even
they admit that it is difficult to hold two opposing thoughts or images simultane-
ously, so the technique provides some relief. Whether or not they realize it, they
have created new pathways to solving old problems.
Finally, after minimal practice (usually a few attempts), they report that they
can perform the “giving equal time to the opposite” technique without paper and
pencil. They can use this new awareness of consciously introducing and holding
more positive thoughts and images in their minds whenever those negative
demons return. When you first try this technique, it may seem awkward or diffi-
cult, but keep at it. It’s worth your effort.
By the way, Carlos didn’t drop his public speaking course. Although initially
skeptical and reluctant to try the “giving equal time to the opposite” technique, he
found it helpful, not only in public speaking, but also in his social life and at
work. At the end of the course, Carlos visited me again in my office and
announced proudly that he had just been offered a promotion at work.
“Well, your hard work really paid off,” I congratulated him.
“Hard work, and my pep talks to myself,” he added. “Since taking your class, I
listen to what I say to myself. If it’s negative, I give ‘equal time to the opposite’.
Even when I don’t believe what I’m saying, it makes a difference. At least I’m not

spending the time worrying about so much negative stuff. I’m more positive
now.”
Creating new messages can help you change your self-concept and your life,
just like Carlos did.
YOUR SELF-CONCEPT
Your self-concept is the subjective view you hold of yourself as a person. It is the
sum total of your perceptions regarding your physical features, cultural back-
ground, emotional states, roles, talents, beliefs, values, likes and dislikes, achieve-
ments, and failures. The primary determinant of whom you will talk with, what
you will say, how you will listen, and how you will interact is your self-concept.
There are two primary ways of regarding who you are—public self-concept and
private self-concept.
Public Self-Concept
Our public self-concept is on display when we are in public or for others to see.
Our public self can find its origins in the professional roles we assume. Our pro-
fessions as an engineer, teacher, doctor, or prison guard can affect how we view
ourselves. Often, we internalize our professional roles to the extent that we con-
tinue to function in them outside their original context. A marine drill sergeant
may treat his children like boot camp recruits. A teacher may lecture her parents
as if they were students. A therapist may treat her friends like clients.
Private Self-Concept
Our private self-concept is much more personal than our public self-concept. It
can be made up of our personal psychological traits, personal beliefs and values,
and most frequent emotional states. This is the self-concept that is not known to
our casual acquaintances and sometimes even close friends. Many times our pri-
vate self-concept consists of those aspects or characteristics that we feel distin-
guish us from others. For instance, ethnicity might be a primary factor in your
private self-concept if everyone else at work is of a different race, as would your
being quiet and introspective if others around you are loud and boisterous. Both
our public and private self-concepts help determine who we think we are and
thus how we communicate with others.
HOW SELF-CONCEPT DEVELOPS
We are not born with a self-concept, but the creation and development of who
we are begins as soon as we take our first breaths and continues until the moment
we die. There are two primary ways that our self-concept develops—reflected
appraisal and social comparison.

Reflected Appraisal
Reflected appraisal means that our self-concept matches what others see in us. As
early as 1902, psychologist Charles Cooley in his book Human Nature and the
Social Order suggested that we mirror the beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions that
others communicate to us in their behavior. This reflected appraisal begins at
birth by the manner in which we are treated as infants. The nonverbal behaviors
of our parents, siblings, extended family members, and other caregivers can cre-
ate strong internal impressions on us. The manner in which we are held, fed,
played with, and talked to are a few of the many ways the perceptions of others
can be internalized during infancy and last a lifetime.
Before long, the content of verbal messages is added to the thousands of non-
verbal messages we receive as significant people in our lives tell us who we are.
How we see ourselves as lovable, valuable, and capable to a great extent is deter-
mined by the messages from these individuals.
This process of reflected appraisal continues throughout our lives. The per-
ceptions, expectations, and evaluations of our teachers, coaches, family, and
friends continue to shape our notion of who we are and what we are capable of
accomplishing. Significant others, those individuals in our lives to whom we
assign great value, such as parents, siblings, romantic partners, and mentors, play
an extremely important role in shaping our self-concept.
Social Comparison
Social comparison is how we evaluate ourselves when we compare ourselves with
others. We accomplish this in two ways—by superior/inferior and same/different
measurements.
By comparing ourselves with others we can often feel superior or inferior
to others. When an exam is returned in class, we can feel inferior to the other
students if we receive a low score and superior
if we receive a high score. Perhaps the instruc-
tor announced that we received the highest
mark on the exam and we were filled with
pride. Feelings of superiority or inferiority
when we compare ourselves to others in educa-
tional accomplishment, economic status, physi-
cal development, or spiritual awareness can
affect our self-concept.
The second way we use social comparison is by deciding if we are the same or
different as others. A man who enjoys music and spends his after-work hours
practicing violin may view himself as being very different from the other men at
work who lift weights at the gym or work on their cars. However, if that same
man were employed as a musician with the city’s symphony, he would most likely
see himself as very similar to his colleagues and not feel out of place.
Every artist started out as
a beginner. Your skill level
right now doesn’t matter.
You’ll learn.
—EDGAR WINTER

The reference groups, those people with whom we compare ourselves as
superior/inferior and same/different, can have a profound influence on our self-
concept. This leads us to the primary reason why “birds of a feather flock
together.” We have a tendency to associate with those who are equal and similar
to us. It may be an unconscious way we keep our psychological equilibrium.
Even though our self-concept begins developing at our earliest interactions
with our primary caregivers and continues until the moment of death, we don’t
always have a conscious knowledge of and familiarity with our perceptions of
self. Mostly we have some vague, abstract notion of who we are and confront the
components of our self-concept only when faced with a personal crisis or a life
transition. It is during those times we are invited to consider and create a much
healthier, flexible, and positive self-concept.
LISTENING CREATIVELY TO YOURSELF
We are rarely alone in this culture. When we do spend a moment or two in quiet
reflection, we often judge the thoughts and feelings that arise. We don’t measure
up to the standards established by our parents, the magazine or television adver-
tisements, and the culture in general. It is not surprising then that we often prefer
to listen to the sounds of distraction rather than consider carefully and respect-
fully the contents of our inner life. So we create a flood of external sights and
sounds to drown the internal music of our souls.
We need a new way to listen to ourselves that is less critical, less judgmental,
and more open to simply observing and maybe even enjoying what we chance
upon as we survey our self-perceptions. We need to create an attitude of curiosity,
understanding, and, yes, even appreciation for ourselves.
Self-Concept Inventory
To begin the process of creatively listening to yourself, complete the following
statements regarding who you think you are. Don’t think too much. Don’t judge
or evaluate. Just jot down your first impression or thought for each item and
enjoy the process of seeing who you are.
1. I am ________________________________________________________________________________________.
2. I am ________________________________________________________________________________________.
3. I am ________________________________________________________________________________________.
4. I believe ____________________________________________________________________________________.
5. I think ______________________________________________________________________________________.
6. I am successful at ________________________________________________________________________.
7. I enjoy ______________________________________________________________________________________.
8. I like ________________________________________________________________________________________.

9. My strongest personality trait is ______________________________________________________.
10. People like my ____________________________________________________________________________.
11. My body is ________________________________________________________________________________.
12. Physically I enjoy ________________________________________________________________________.
13. Mentally I enjoy __________________________________________________________________________.
14. Spiritually I enjoy ________________________________________________________________________.
15. Most people think I am ________________________________________________________________.
16. My parents think I am __________________________________________________________________.
17. My siblings think I am __________________________________________________________________.
18. When I’m alone I ________________________________________________________________________.
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28. My greatest weakness is ________________________________________________________________.
29. I usually leave others feeling __________________________________________________________.
30. I want to be remembered as __________________________________________________________.
Review your responses to the thirty items and reflect on your thoughts and feel-
ings. Did you learn anything new about yourself? Were you surprised by any of
your responses? Did they provide insight into your current communication
behavior? Which responses were you satisfied with? Which responses were you
not satisfied with?
Be gentle on yourself as you consider your responses to these thirty items.
There are hundreds of other traits, characteristics, skills, beliefs, and feelings that
contribute to your self-concept. As your awareness of them increases, you will
also increase the amount of sensitivity, care, and attention you give them. It is not
necessary, initially, to judge, improve, or change those you don’t like or are
uncomfortable with. Instead, just notice them. After you become familiar and
comfortable with them, you can create ways to change or replace them with more
positive thoughts and images if you desire.
Improvement Inventory
List five communication behaviors, personal habits, personality characteris-
tics, relationships, and anything else you can think of that you feel need

improvement. Solicit input from family and friends, coworkers and neighbors.
Just the mere fact you would ask others for feedback will change your relation-
ship with them.
1. ___________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________
If you can admit you’re not perfect and there are things you can improve, the crit-
icism or threat of criticism from others will have less impact on you. Once you
can freely admit to one weakness (or all five!), you may experience a new freedom
that allows you to be more open to the communication and feedback of others.
Thanksgiving Inventory
List two things you are thankful for about your physical, psychological, and spiri-
tual self. Choose conditions or attributes you already possess, not those you are
striving or hoping to achieve.
1. I’m thankful for my (physical) __________________________________.
2. I’m thankful for my (physical) __________________________________.
3. I’m thankful for my (psychological) ______________________________.
4. I’m thankful for my (psychological) ______________________________.
5. I’m thankful for my (spiritual) __________________________________.
6. I’m thankful for my (spiritual) __________________________________.
Did you find this inventory easy or difficult? If you found it difficult, you may
need to become aware of the many wonderful things that are already working in
your life. One powerful way to create more contentment in your life is to simply
become more aware of the many hundreds of things that you are currently
blessed with physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
Six Months to Live Inventory
Write down five things you would like to do or accomplish if you discovered you
had only six months to live. Assume you will experience no physical pain until
the final day of life.
1. ___________________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________________
Do any of your responses surprise you? How do you feel about your responses?
Do your responses involve people, places, or things? Which item would you most
want to accomplish before dying? If you were going to die in six months, how
would that affect your communication with others?
Hopefully these inventories have encouraged you to reflect a little more on
who you are and where you’re headed. To create more positive communication
with yourself, it’s important to get to know yourself and how you’d like to change,
improve, and grow.
Four Methods for Listening to Yourself
To get to know yourself more intimately, you may need to spend more time by
yourself, free from the distractions and input of your family, friends, magazines,
books, newspapers, television, computer, radio, and a myriad of other sources
telling you who you should be and what you should do. Try one of the following
four methods for listening to yourself.
Giving voice to your thoughts. Whenever you experience a recurring thought,
especially negative ones, such as “I can’t do this,”“I shouldn’t do that,”“I have to
do,”“I’m no good,”“I’ll fail,” and so on, you can “give it voice” by repeating the
negative thought out loud to yourself, rather than experiencing it silently in your
thinking. Don’t shout or yell the statement. Anyone in the room might think you
have gone off the deep end. Instead, repeat the negative thought softly yet audibly
to yourself and label it as negative. For example, “I’m going to fail—I’m giving
myself another negative thought,” or “I can’t complete the assignment—I’m giving
myself another negative thought.”
By saying the statement out loud and labeling the statement, you are making
yourself aware of your negative message. Fritz Perls, the famous Gestalt therapist,
believed that “Awareness is the first step to change.” Well, this simple method of
making your thoughts audible to yourself can be your first step to creating posi-
tive changes in your thinking.
Sitting in silence. This involves devoting ten minutes each day to sitting in a
quiet place and doing nothing. Just close your eyes and listen to your breath. You
are not to read, doodle on paper, meditate on a word or phrase, or even pray. If
any thoughts or images come to your mind during the ten minutes, do not
attempt to evaluate, change, or get rid of them. Just watch each thought or feel-
ing float past your awareness. Like leaves floating past you on a stream, just
observe them. No attachment. No desire. No effort. Just observe and listen to
your breath. There is no performing, no attaining, or no striving. Carl Rogers
once noted that, “It is only when we accept ourselves the way we are that we are

free to change.” You deserve a ten-minute “sitting-in-silence” time each day, just
to unplug from the rush and noise of your life and simply be silent, observant,
and open.
Keeping a personal journal. At the end of the day, devote just five minutes
before going to bed to personal journal writing. In your journal (any notebook
will do), write down a sentence or brief paragraph describing your thoughts and
feelings about yourself. Note any powerful or significant impressions, observa-
tions, or responses to your communication, interactions, or dealings with others
or yourself. Do not judge your observations and comments. Just note them in
your journal. Try to keep your entries brief and focused. Then, at the end of each
week, review your journal entries and see if there are any important points,
themes, or issues worth considering or exploring further. You will be surprised
how recurring themes emerge or specific behaviors, thoughts, or feelings keep
surfacing as you reflect on your journal entries.
Listening to your dreams. Most of us remember our sleeping dreams for a
brief moment or two on waking, but the memory of them fades quickly. We
usually do not attach too much importance, significance, or meaning to our
dreams. But I think they can reveal much about our inner, unconscious self.
By keeping a dream journal by your bedside
and noting the content and emotions experi-
enced in your dreams, you can expand and
deepen your explorations of who you are. The
purpose of recording your dreams is not neces-
sarily to interpret or assign meaning, but rather
to explore and expand your self-awareness. Many
of your feelings, desires, and longings are cen-
sored by your conscious mind and require sleep
and the process of dreaming to permit the parade of unconscious thoughts and
images to come to the surface of your attention.
SPEAKING CREATIVELY TO YOURSELF
You may have discovered while listening to yourself that many negative, as well as
positive, thoughts and ideas were swirling through your mind. The positive
thoughts are fine. It’s those negative thoughts that can often bring us down, inter-
fere with our communication with others and ourselves, and in general, just
make our lives miserable. Psychologist Albert Ellis in his book New Guide to
Rational Living outlines the ten most troubling thoughts Americans have that
make their lives unsatisfactory, frustrating, and depressing. He calls them our ten
most irrational ideas. See if any of them are swimming around in that head of
yours:
Man is above all,
he who creates.
—ANTOINE DE
SAINT-EXUPÉRY

1. The idea that you should be liked/loved by everyone.
2. The idea that you should be competent, adequate, and achieving in all
possible respects if you are to consider yourself worthwhile.
3. The idea that happiness is externally caused and people have little or no
ability to control their sorrows and disturbances.
4. The idea that your past history is an all-important determinant to your
present behavior and that because something once strongly affected your
life, it should indefinitely have a similar effect.
5. The idea that there is only one right solution to a problem and it is
catastrophic if this perfect solution is not found.
6. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome, you should
be terribly concerned about it and should keep dwelling on the possibility
of its occurring.
7. The idea that certain people are wicked and they should always be severely
blamed and punished for their villainy.
8. The idea that it is awful and catastrophic when things are not the way you
would like them to be.
9. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face certain life difficulties and
self-responsibilities.
10. The idea that one should become quite upset over other people’s problems
and disturbances.
Ellis discovered that almost all of the psychological and emotional distress his
clients were experiencing was based upon one or more of these ten irrational
ideas. In fact, irrational ideas 1 and 2—the idea
that one should be liked by everyone and the idea
that one should be competent in all possible
respects—accounted for almost 70 percent of his
clients’ presenting problems in therapy.
To help his clients overcome these beliefs, he
developed an approach to clinical psychology
called Cognitive Restructuring Therapy. In this approach, irrational beliefs are
identified, challenged by the therapist, and replaced with the opposite beliefs.
Remember Carlos’“giving equal time to the opposite” as he confronted his pub-
lic speaking fears? Well, that technique is based upon Cognitive Restructuring
Therapy.
Maybe you’ve told yourself one or two of Ellis’s ten irrational ideas. Maybe you
believe one of those ideas is true for you. Well, if you do, you may want to recon-
sider that belief. It is not the purpose of this book to discuss Cognitive Restruc-
turing Therapy in any detail, other than to suggest that you may want to
substitute a different belief for the irrational one you are holding. Here are the
You create yourself by
your thoughts.
—RAM DASS

ten statements presented in their opposite form. Read the list and see if any of the
ideas are helpful in creating new ways of talking to yourself.
1. You don’t have to be approved of by everyone. Not everyone has to like or love
you. It is irrational to strive for universal approval or affection. No one is
liked, loved, or approved of by everyone. To strive to be approved of by
everyone is not a desirable goal. People who try to win the approval of
everyone often sacrifice their own principles, values, and happiness. As a
result, they discover only unhappiness in their attempt to win the
approval of others.
2. You do not have to be perfect or competent in everything you do. It is
irrational to desire perfection in anything. No human being is perfect. It’s
also irrational to desire to be competent in everything you do. There will
be some activities you will achieve competency, even mastery, but no
human being is competent in everything. In fact, experiencing failure can
be one of the best teachers you will ever have. Failure can teach you how to
improve, what to change, and when to quit.
3. Your happiness comes from within you and you can change your feelings by
changing your thinking. Your feelings are determined by your thinking, not
by external events. You can change your feelings by changing your
thinking. In fact, almost all the negative feelings you will experience can be
modified or eliminated by seeing the truth of these ten beliefs.
4. Your current behavior is not determined by the past. Human beings can
unlearn old behaviors and replace them with new behaviors. Although
many habitual ways of behaving and thinking can be deeply rooted and
difficult to change, they can be changed with concentrated effort and
focused thinking.
5. There can be many solutions to any given problem. It’s irrational to think
there is only one solution to any problem. Most likely, there are a variety of
ways to solve any problem. In systems theory, the notion of equifinality
states that there exist many ways to solve any problem. When solving
problems, don’t be limited in your thinking. Use your imagination. Let your
creativity soar!
6. Don’t worry. It’s irrational to worry and be overly concerned about every
little thing that can go wrong in your life. The vast majority of the things
you worry about during your lifetime will never come to pass. Much of
your worry is borne from fatigue and loneliness. Get enough sleep, rest,
and relaxation. Develop loving relationships. It is amazing how just being
rested and enjoying the support and love from family and friends can erase
much of what worries you.

7. Most people are good at heart. When things go wrong, we often respond by
looking for someone to blame and punish. We often desire to vilify and
demonize those we hold responsible for our sufferings. But very few people
are totally hateful, mean, or evil. The vast majority of people are basically
good, hardworking, honest folks. We need to see the good and the beauty
in everyone, even those people who mistreat us. In the long run, the price
of blaming, hating, or seeking revenge is too high.
8. It’s okay if you don’t get your way. One of the greatest lessons we learn in life
is that we don’t always get what we want. Thank goodness for that! Can
you imagine if you got everything you ever wished for? You would be a
gluttonous, wealthy, overindulged mess! We need to get beyond ourselves
and begin to be aware of and responsive to the needs of those around us. In
this life, we need to move from self to others. Don’t get too hung up on
what you want or what you desire. Learn to think of others too.
9. It’s better to face your problems and responsibilities than to avoid them. It is
irrational to avoid or deny actual problems or responsibilities facing you.
Denial of problems that pose a threat to your safety or welfare is irrational.
Physical illness, relationship conflicts, and emotional distress need to be
acknowledged and addressed. Anything less will only amplify the problem.
The same holds true for your responsibilities. You need to keep your
promises, meet your legal obligations, and carry out your duties. To avoid
or deny legitimate responsibilities will only cause pain, suffering, and
punishment in the long run.
10. Let others be responsible for themselves. It is irrational to be overly
concerned about the lives of other people. Human beings need to take
responsibility for their own lives. We can be responsive to others, but not
responsible for them. Each person needs to live his or her own life. With
the exception of infants, young children, and the elderly, most people
should make their own decisions and take care of themselves. Don’t get
enmeshed in the lives of other people. You’ve got enough to take care of
with yourself. This doesn’t give you license to be uncaring, detached, and
self-centered. It means that you let people make their own mistakes,
learn from them, and go about their lives independently of your
overinvolvement. As an old saying goes, “Every time you help someone,
you make them a little weaker, a little more dependent upon you.” Let
others be responsible for themselves.
These ten beliefs constitute a much more positive and healthy way of viewing
yourself and others. You may find many of these beliefs helpful in talking to your-
self in a more positive way. If you discover that an irrational belief is running

through your mind and causing you some distress or pain, try “giving equal time
to the opposite.” One of these rational beliefs may be what you need to create the
beginning of a new way of thinking and behaving. Let these beliefs create a differ-
ent, more positive you.
CREATING POSITIVE COMMUNICATION:
THE S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K. TECHNIQUE
In addition to using these ten rational beliefs to create a healthier attitude, you
can begin to counterbalance your negative thoughts with the S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K.
Technique for creating more positive communication with yourself.
Each of these suggestions can help you create more positive messages to com-
municate to yourself and others. Your willingness to explore and experiment with
even one of these eight suggestions will increase your ability to create messages
that will enhance your communication.
See your put-downs
Recall that you cannot change what you cannot recognize. Learn to recognize the
negative thoughts, images, and verbal statements you make to and about yourself.
Use the four methods of listening creatively to yourself, which include giving
voice to your thoughts, sitting in silence, personal journal writing, and listening
to your dreams. Awareness is the first step to change.
Eliminate your put-downs
Block your put-downs and negative statements. When you verbally criticize your-
self, eliminate or block the statement by placing your hand over your mouth. This
may sound extreme, but by using a physical reminder, such as your hand, you
improve your efforts at eliminating negative messages to yourself. It’s almost as if
your body is retraining itself to communicate in a new way. By employing a non-
verbal channel of communication, such as your hand, you can actually change
your verbal behavior.
List what’s good about yourself
In your efforts to create more positive communication with yourself, take stock
and reflect on all the good things about you. Get paper and pen and write a list
of all the wonderful, positive, and beautiful things about yourself. This may feel
awkward at first, but give yourself some time and keep your list going for a cou-
ple of days. As things come to you, add them to your list. You will be surprised
how quickly your list will grow. Post the list on your bathroom mirror, refrigera-
tor, or car dashboard where you can see it often. You deserve to be reminded

how wonderful you are. Many times, we don’t compliment or encourage our-
selves because we don’t have anything positive to say. Your list can be a powerful
reminder. Use it to your advantage.
Find what’s good about others
One of the most effective ways to see what’s good in yourself is by seeing the best
in others. Sounds strange, but often when we look for the best in others and com-
pliment them about specific behaviors, traits, or accomplishments, we begin to
appreciate ourselves a little more too. Our perception of the world, including
ourselves, shifts from the negative to the positive. You will also discover that as
you compliment others, you will receive more compliments too. Compliments
beget compliments!
Talk positively to yourself
Your positive self-talk can be expressed in a number of ways. It can be silent.
When you want to counter a negative thought or image, such as “I’m so stupid
for making a mistake,” simply think its positive opposite, “It’s okay if I make mis-
takes,” after you’ve had the thought. Your positive self-talk can be audible by stat-
ing the positive message out loud. For instance, you can say to yourself, “I will be
relaxed and calm during the interview,” as you walk into the personnel office for a
job interview. Written positive self-talk is effective because it utilizes visual com-
munication. You can write yourself an encouraging letter, compose a positive
statement on an index card, or simply scribble an uplifting word on the back of
your hand to remind yourself of a positive trait or attribute.
Ask others for help
An enjoyable way to create more positive communication with yourself is to elicit
the help of others. You can invite or ask a good friend or family member to par-
ticipate in your positive self-communication program. The person can remind
you when you say or do things that are self-critical, help you think of positive
things to replace your negative thoughts and images, and point out some addi-
tional strengths you didn’t know about. As artist Donna Sheeves recommends,
“Invent your world, surround yourself with people who love you, who encourage
you, who believe in you.”
Learn to be human
One of the most important things you can keep foremost in your mind as you
begin to communicate more positively with yourself is that you are human. You
make mistakes. You are not supposed to be perfect. It is often our preoccupation
with being perfect, being approved of by everyone, and being competent in
everything we attempt that gets us in trouble. We’re only human. We cannot be

perfect. Everyone isn’t supposed to approve of us or even like us. We cannot pos-
sibly be good in everything we try.
Keep a record of your successes
The final suggestion for creating positive communication with yourself is to keep
a record of your successes. It is not only important that you create more positive
communication with yourself, it’s beneficial to track your successes and victories
so you can reinforce, remind, and celebrate your creative efforts.
Remember to listen to yourself and to use the S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K. Technique to
create more positive communication with yourself. Your willingness and ability
to create positive thoughts and images for yourself and others will greatly
enhance your communication and relationships with others. Just like Carlos, you
can create a positive message for yourself that will improve your life.
E X P L O R I N G C R E A T I V E T A S K S
1. List five things you would like to change or improve about your self-concept. Share
your list with a close friend and ask him or her for feedback on your list. With your
friend’s help, brainstorm at least three different ways you can accomplish or make
progress toward each of the five items you listed. What do you think of these
suggestions? When would you like to begin?
2. For one day, write down all the negative self-talk messages you give yourself. Notice
if there are any patterns or categories in your negative self-talk. What do you think
of these messages? How do you feel about them? Which messages would you like to
change? What would the new, more positive messages be?
3. Reread the ten irrational beliefs suggested by Albert Ellis. Select one of the
irrational beliefs that you would like to change. Substitute the opposite, more
positive belief presented in the second list of ten rational beliefs. Write this belief on
two separate 3 x 5" cards and tape one to your car dashboard and the other to your
bathroom mirror. Read these cards often during the day. After one week, has the
statement created anything new in your thinking, feeling, or behaving?
4. For one week, use the S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K. Technique and notice how it changes your
thoughts, images, and communication with yourself. Which S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K.
suggestions seemed to be the most helpful or beneficial? Why?
E X P A N D I N G Y O U R C R E A T I V E T H I N K I N G
1. What would your life be like if you truly believed in all ten of Ellis’s rational ideas?
How do you think your communication behavior would change?
2. What do you think your self-concept will be like in five years? In ten years? What
areas of improvement do you think you will experience? In what areas will you still
have difficulty? How can you address those difficult areas?

3. What resources can you think of that could help you improve your self-concept
and the ways you communicate with yourself? What experts, books, magazines,
movies, or classes could contribute to improving how you see and feel about
yourself?
4. What would be the most positive thing that could be said about your life if you
were to die today? What would you want the most positive accomplishment of your
life to be if you lived to age eighty-five? What specific activities would you have to
be engaged in to accomplish this positive goal?

T H R E E
36
Creating
Expressive Verbal
Communication
He painted pictures in my mind
and changed my world with his words.
—Charles Kuralt
As I look out to the ocean, the evening lights of Pismo Beach sparkle beneath our
third-floor motel room. This little seaside town is quiet now, deserted. It’s Octo-
ber and the throngs of noisy summer tourists have long gone, and the only sound
I hear is Dad’s deep breathing as he sleeps in the bed behind me. I’m sitting in an
overstuffed chair, gazing at the moonlit sea, as my father’s words echo in my
mind.
Right as Dad was falling off to sleep he told me, “Thanks for taking me on
these overnight trips. Not many sons would do this . . . and, . . . I love you.”
For the last ten years of his life, I took my dad on overnight trips. Once or
twice a year we would just hit the road, the two of us, and journey into friend-
ship. These overnight trips didn’t just happen. I had to take time off work, make
the arrangements, and say good-bye to my wife and kids for those two or three
days.
At first they were a little awkward. What do father and son talk about for two
or three days alone? But over the years, we began talking more and developed a
deeper friendship than ever before.
During one of our overnight talks, Dad told me how Mom appreciated my
taking him on “safari,” as she called it, how much she appreciated my support and
encouragement. He ended with,“You know, she loves you very much.”

“I know,” I said, then added,“but how do you feel about me, Dad?”
My dad smiled, paused for a moment, and then said,“I love you, Randy.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
That was it. It took a few seconds to say, and maybe forty years of preparation.
From that moment on, we started verbally sharing our feelings a little more.
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Verbal communication is all communication that is spoken or written. It
includes the content of your conversation with a friend, an announcement over
the public address system at a skating rink, a
whisper in a darkened theater, the clever words
on a billboard, and the words you are reading on
this page. Verbal communication is powerful, and
even one word can hurt or heal others.
One word can make or break your day. A sim-
ple no to our invitation to lunch can leave us feel-
ing rejected and depressed. A maybe can leave us
hanging with uncertainty and even confusion. And a yes can catapult us into a
victorious state of triumph. Just one word can create different emotions within
our hearts.
PRINCIPLES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION
To get a better understanding of verbal communication, let’s explore some principles
that govern its usage. By understanding and considering these principles when we
communicate, we can more effectively share our thoughts and feelings with others.
Language Is Symbolic
Words do not have any meaning in and of themselves. They are arbitrary symbols
assigned and agreed on to represent or symbolize the things in our experience.
Words can represent physical objects like galaxies, stars, trees, insects, and people.
They can also express thoughts and feelings such as honesty, patriotism, grief,
and love.
A word is not the thing it represents. The word “nose,” for example, is a symbol
that represents that part of our face between our eyes and above our mouth that
we breathe through. There is nothing particularly “nose”-like about the symbol
nose. It is just the word or symbol we have agreed on to represent that part of our
face. To a speaker of Spanish, nariz would convey the same meaning, as would nez
for a speaker of French. For a speaker of Cantonese, the word is bidzu. The symbol
we use to represent an object, idea, or feeling is arbitrary. Language is symbolic.
Creating Expressive Verbal Communication 37
You can paint
a great picture
on a small canvas.
—C. D. WARNER

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German student of the period. (Weimar, 1830)
The object of the combatants being to inflict a prick or scratch in
some conspicuous part of the face, the rest of the person is carefully
padded and protected. In our days the loose cap with its pointed
peak has disappeared before its gay muffin-shaped substitute; but
the traditional pride in a scarred face is still observable. Even at the
present day we find the youths of German University towns rejoicing
in a seam down the nose, or swaggering in the conscious dignity of
a slashed cheek, as outward and visible evidence of the warlike soul
within.
Devrient, who appeared some years since at the St. James's Theatre
in German versions of Shakspeare, was performing at Weimar at
that period, in 'Shylock,' 'Hamlet,' 'Falstaff,' and the 'Robbers;' and
the beautiful Madame Schröder was appearing in 'Fidelio.'
The young English students at Weimar spent their evenings in
frequenting the performances at the theatres, or attending the

Goethe. A sketch from the Fraser
portrait
Goethe
(Sketched at Weimar,
1830)
l
evées of the Court ladies.
After an interval of nearly a quarter of a
century, Thackeray passed a couple of
days in the well-remembered place,
where he was fortunate enough to find
still some of the friends of his youth.
With his daughters he was received by
Madame de Goethe with the kindness of old days; the little party
once again drank tea in that famous cottage in the park which had
been a favourite resort of the illustrious poet.

A souvenir
Album sketches
During his residence at Weimar in 1831 Thackeray saw and shared a
great deal of pleasant life; and although the world of the little
German capital was one in miniature, the experience he gained in it

A swell
A buck
was turned to good account in after years. It was at this visit he had
the happiness of meeting the great Goethe, who had then
withdrawn from society: he would, nevertheless, receive strangers
with marked cordiality; and the tea-table of his daughter-in-law was
always spread for the entertainment of these favoured young
sojourners.
In October 1830, we find
Thackeray writing from Weimar to
a bookseller in Charterhouse
Square, for a liberal supply of the
Bath post paper on which he
wrote his verses and drew his
countless sketches. On certain
sheets of this paper, after his
memorable interview with Goethe,
we find the young artist trying to
trace from recollection the
features of the remarkable face
which had deeply impressed his
fancy (see p. 100). There are
portraits in pen and ink, and
others washed with colour to
imitate more closely the
complexion of the study he was
endeavouring to work out. The
letter to which we here refer contains an order of
an extensive character, for the current literature, which throws some
light on his tastes at this period:—'Fraser's Town and Country
Magazine for August, September, October, and November. The four
last numbers of the Examiner and Literary Gazette, The Comic
Annual, The Keepsake, and any others of the best annuals, and
Bombastes Furioso, with Geo. Cruikshank's illustrations. The parcel
to be directed to Dr. Frohrib, Industrie Comptoir, Weimar.'

Among the ingenuous confessions of Fitz-Boodle in 'Fraser,' we are
admitted to three romantic episodes, all of them being directed as
warnings to over-fervent young men—'Miss Löwe' (Oct. 1842),
'Dorothea' (Jan. 1843), 'Ottilia' (Feb. 1843): none of these tender
records of his early German experiences are reprinted with
Thackeray's 'Miscellanies.' We learn incidentally in 'Ottilia' the
delightful fee accorded to gallant drivers on the occasion of sledging
parties, which formed a leading amusement of a Saxon winter. A
large company of a score or more sledges was formed. Away they
went to some pleasure-house previously fixed upon as a rendezvous,
where a ball and supper were ready prepared, and where each
cavalier, as his partner descended, has the 'delicious privilege of
saluting her.'
Thackeray has turned the observations he made during his residence
in the Saxon city to famous satirical account in the construction of
his typical Court of Pumpernickel, situated on the Pump rivulet. We
meet the most effective sarcastic sketches of the mimic court in
various parts of his writings, great and small. It was in these sister
Duchies that Pitt Crawley served as an attaché to the British
representative. It was while dining at the table of Tapeworm, the
Secretary of our Legation there, that the author declares he first
learnt the sad particulars of the career of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, née
Rebecca Sharp. It was here, too, in the theatre that he describes
first meeting with Amelia, then Mrs. Osborne, attended by her
brother Jos. Sedley, with her son George, and his guardian, faithful
Major Dobbin; when the little party were sojourning, as favoured
visitors, in the famous dominions (stretching nearly ten miles) of his
Transparency Victor Aurelius XVIII. The reader will remember being
presented, in one of the later chapters of 'Vanity Fair,' with a
humorous burlesque of the entire Grand Ducal Court—its belongings,
society, administration, foreign legations, politics, fêtes, and what
not; with a detailed description of the noble bridge thrown across
the Pump by his renowned Transparency Victor Aurelius XIV., whose
effigy rises above the erection; his foot calmly resting on the neck of
a prostrate Turk, and surrounded by water-nymphs and emblems of

victory, peace, and plenty. The prince is smiling blandly, and
directing with his outstretched truncheon the attention of the passer
to the Aurelian Platz, where this great-souled hero had commenced
a palace that would have been the wonder of the age, if the funds
for its completion had not been exhausted. A previous introduction
to the splendours of Kalbsbraten-Pumpernickel had been afforded
the readers of 'Fraser,' where we are informed that it contained a
population of two thousand inhabitants, and a palace (Monblaïsir,
the rival of Versailles) which would accommodate about six times
that number. The Principality furnished a contingent of three and a
half men to the Germanic Confederation; only three of whom
returned from the field of Waterloo. This army corps was
commanded by a General (Excellency), two major-generals, and
sixty-four officers of lower grades; all noble, all knights of the order
of Kartoffel, and almost all chamberlains to his Highness the Grand
Duke. A band of eighty performers led the troops to battle in time of
war; executed selections daily, in more peaceful intervals, for the
admiration of the neighbourhood; and at night did duty on the
stage.
There was supposed to be a chamber of representatives, who were
not remembered to have ever sat, home and foreign ministers,
residents from neighbouring courts, law-presidents, town councils,
&c., and all the usual great government functionaries. The Court had
its chamberlains and marshals; the Grand Duchess her noble ladies-
in-waiting, and beauteous maids of honour. Besides the sentries at
the palace, there were three or four men on duty, dressed as

hussars; but the historian could not discover that they ever rode on
horseback.
A German peasant maiden
The Prime Minister had lodgings in a second floor, and the other
great officers were similarly accommodated: their titles were,
however, a distinction in themselves—Otho Sigismond Freyherr von
Schlippenschlopps, for instance, Knight Grand Cross of the Ducal
Order of the Two Necked Swan of Pumpernickel, of the Porc-et-
Sifflet of Kalbsbraten, Commander of the George and Blue Boar of
Dummerland, Excellency and High Chancellor of the United Duchies,
is described as enjoying, with his private income and the revenues of
his offices, a total of nearly three hundred pounds per annum, and,
in consequence of this handsome provision, being able to display
such splendour as few officers of the Grand Ducal Crown could
afford.

Sleighing
These high-sounding titles were not confined to the military and
diplomatic bodies: the memorable town pump had been designed by
Herr Oberhof und bau Inspektor von Speck; whose wife was
honourably referred to as 'The Grand-ducal Pumpernickelian-court-
architectress, and Upper-palace-and-building-inspectress, Von
Speck.'
The preceding sketch of sleighing, which has all the life and spirit of
a drawing executed whilst the recollection of its subject is still fresh,
was evidently made at the period of Thackeray's residence at
Weimar. He has left various pen-and-ink dottings of the quaint
houses in this town, which correspond with the little buildings in the
landscape on p. 101.
Among the volumes originally in Thackeray's possession was a book,
privately printed, containing portions of the diaries of Mrs. Colonel
St. George, written during her sojourn among the German courts,
1799 and 1800. As the margins of the book are pencilled with slight
but graphic etchings illustrative of the matter, we insert a few
extracts while treating of Thackeray's early experience of Weimar, as
harmonising with this part of our subject. It may be premised that
the actual sketches belong to a considerably later date.

'JOURNAL KEPT DURING A VISIT TO
GERMANY IN 1799, 1800.'
'Vienna, July 18, 1800.—Dined at La Gardie's; read "Les Mères
Rivales" aloud, while she made a couvre-pied for her approaching
confinement; her mother worked a cap for the babe, and he sat
down to his netting: it was a black shawl for his wife. A fine tall man,
a soldier, too, with a very martial appearance, netting a shawl for his
wife amused me.
'Dresden, Oct. 2.—Dined at the Elliots'.[2] While I was playing at
chess with Mr. Elliot, came the news of Lord Nelson's arrival, with Sir
William and Lady Hamilton, Mrs. Cadogan, mother of the latter, and
Miss Cornelia Knight, famous for her "Continuation of Rasselas" and
her "Private Life of the Romans."[3]
A fancy portrait
'Oct. 3.—Dined at Mr. Elliot's, with only the Nelson party. It is plain
that Lord Nelson thinks of nothing but Lady Hamilton, who is totally
occupied by the same object. She is bold, forward, coarse,
assuming, and vain. Her figure is colossal, but, excepting her feet,
well shaped. Her bones are large, and she is exceedingly
embonpoint. She resembles the bust of Ariadne: the shape of all her
features is fine, as is the form of her head, and particularly her ears;
her teeth are a little irregular, but tolerably white; her eyes light
blue, with a brown spot in one, which, though a defect, takes
nothing away from her beauty and expression. Her eyebrows and

hair are dark, and her complexion coarse. Her expression is strongly
marked, variable, and interesting; her movements in common life
ungraceful; her voice loud, yet not disagreeable. Lord Nelson is a
little man, without any dignity; who, I suppose, must resemble what
Suwarrow was in his youth, as he is like all the pictures I have seen
of that general. Lady Hamilton takes possession of him, and he is a
willing captive, the most submissive and devoted I have seen. Sir
William is old, infirm, all admiration of his wife, and never spoke to-
day but to applaud her. Miss Cornelia Knight seems the decided
flatterer of the two, and never opens her mouth but to show forth
their praise; and Mrs. Cadogan, Lady Hamilton's mother, is what one
might expect. After dinner we had several songs in honour of Lord
Nelson, written by Miss Knight, and sung by Lady Hamilton. She
puffs the incense full in his face; but he receives it with pleasure and
sniffs it up very cordially. The songs all ended in the sailor's way,
with "Hip, hip, hip, hurra!" and a bumper with the last drop on the
nail, a ceremony I had never heard of or seen before.
'Oct. 4.—Accompanied the Nelson party to Mr. Elliot's box at the
opera. She and Lord Nelson were wrapped up in each other's
conversation during the chief part of the evening.
'Oct. 5.—Went, by Lady Hamilton's invitation, to see Lord Nelson
dressed for court. On his hat he wore the large diamond feather, or
ensign of sovereignty, given him by the Grand Signior; on his breast
the order of the Bath, the order he received as Duke of Bronte; the
diamond star, including the sun or crescent, given him by the Grand
Signior; three gold medals, obtained by three different victories; and
a beautiful present from the King of Naples. On one side is His
Majesty's picture, richly set, and surrounded with laurels, which
spring from two united laurels at bottom, and support the Neapolitan
crown at top; on the other is the Queen's cipher, which turns so as
to appear within the same laurels, and is formed of diamonds on
green enamel. In short, Lord Nelson was a perfect constellation of
stars and orders.

'Oct. 7.—Breakfasted with Lady Hamilton, and saw her represent in
succession the best statues and paintings extant. She assumes their
attitude, expression, and drapery with great facility, swiftness, and
accuracy. Several Indian shawls, a chair, some antique vases, a
wreath of roses, a tambourine, and a few children are her whole
apparatus. She stands at one end of the room, with a strong light on
her left, and every other window closed. Her hair is short, dressed
like an antique, and her gown a simple calico chemise, very easy,
with loose sleeves to the wrist. She disposes the shawls so as to
form Grecian, Turkish, and other drapery, as well as a variety of
turbans. Her arrangement of the turbans is absolutely sleight-of-
hand; she does it so quickly, so easily, and so well. It is a beautiful
performance, amusing to the most ignorant, and highly interesting
to the lovers of art. The chief of her imitations are from the antique.
Each representation lasts about ten minutes. It is remarkable that,
though coarse and ungraceful in common life, she becomes highly
graceful, and even beautiful, during this performance. After showing
her attitudes, she sang, and I accompanied. Her voice is good and
very strong, but she is frequently out of tune; her expression
strongly marked and various; but she has no flexibility, and no
sweetness. She acts her songs....
'Still she does not gain upon me. I think her bold, daring, vain even
to folly, and stamped with the manners of her first situation much
more strongly than one would suppose, after having represented
majesty, and lived in good company fifteen years. Her ruling
passions seem to me vanity, avarice, and love for the pleasures of
the table. Mr. Elliot says, "She will captivate the Prince of Wales,
whose mind is as vulgar as her own, and play a great part in
England."
'Oct. 8.—Dined at Madame de Loss's, wife to the Prime Minister, with
the Nelson party. The Electress will not receive Lady Hamilton, on
account of her former dissolute life. She wished to go to court, on
which a pretext was made to avoid receiving company last Sunday,
and I understand there will be no court while she stays. Lord Nelson,

understanding the Elector did not wish to see her, said to Mr. Elliot,
"Sir, if there is any difficulty of that sort, Lady Hamilton will knock
the Elector down, and —— me, I'll knock him down too!"
'Oct. 9.—A great breakfast at the Elliots', given to the Nelson party.
Lady Hamilton repeated her attitudes with great effect. All the
company, except their party and myself, went away before dinner;
after which Lady Hamilton, who declared she was passionately fond
of champagne, took such a portion of it as astonished me. Lord
Nelson was not behindhand, called more vociferously than usual for
songs in his own praise, and after many bumpers proposed the
Queen of Naples, adding, "She is my queen; she is queen to the
backbone." Poor Mr. Elliot, who was anxious the party should not
expose themselves more than they had done already, and wished to
get over the last day as well as he had done the rest, endeavoured
to stop the effusion of champagne, and effected it with some
difficulty, but not till the lord and lady, or, as he calls them, Antony
and Moll Cleopatra, were pretty far gone. I was so tired, I returned
home soon after dinner; but not till Cleopatra had talked to me a
great deal of her doubts whether the queen would receive her,
adding, "I care little about it. I had much sooner she would settle
half Sir William's pension on me." After I went, Mr. Elliot told me she
acted Nina intolerably ill, and danced the Tarantula. During her
acting, Lord Nelson expressed his admiration by the Irish sound of
astonished applause, and by crying every now and then, "Mrs.
Siddons be ——!" Lady Hamilton expressed great anxiety to go to
court, and Mrs. Elliot assured her it would not amuse her, and that
the Elector never gave dinners or suppers. "What?" cried she, "no
guttling!" Sir William also this evening performed feats of activity,
hopping round the room on his backbone, his arms, legs, star and
ribbon all flying about in the air.

'Oct. 10.—Mr. Elliot saw them on board to-day. He heard, by chance,
from a king's messenger, that a frigate waited for them at Hamburg,
and ventured to announce it formally. He says: "The moment they
were on board, there was an end of the fine arts, of the attitudes, of
the acting, the dancing, and the singing. Lady Hamilton's maid
began to scold, in French, about some provisions which had been
forgot. Lady Hamilton began bawling for an Irish stew, and her old
mother set about washing the potatoes, which she did as cleverly as
possible. They were exactly like Hogarth's actresses dressing in the
barn."'
At Berlin, the fair diarist was introduced to Beurnonville, the French
minister, who had gained notoriety for his services at Valmy and
Gemappes. He was one of the commissioners despatched by the
convention to arrest Dumouriez, who, it may be remembered,
treated him with marked cordiality; the special envoy of the republic
was, however, arrested, with his companions, and delivered by the
general into the hands of the Austrians.
'Nov. 18-23.—I have been to a great supper at Count Schulenberg's.
As usual, I saw Beurnonville, who was very attentive. He looks like
an immense cart-horse, put by mistake in the finest caparisons; his
figure is colossal and ungainly; and his uniform of blue and gold,
which appears too large even for his large person, is half covered
with the broadest gold lace. His ton is that of a corps-de-garde (he
was really a corporal), but when he addresses himself to women, he
affects a softness and légèreté, which reminds one exactly of the
"Ass and the Spaniel," and his compliments are very much in the
style of M. Jourdain. It is said, however, he is benevolent and well-
meaning.

'Nov. 30.—Supped at Mad. Angeström's, wife of the Swedish
Minister, who is perfectly indifferent to all the interests of Europe,
provided nothing interrupts her reception of the Paris fashions, for
which she has an uncommon avidity. "N'est-ce pas, ma chère, que
ceci est charmant? C'est copié fidèlement d'un journal de Paris, et
quel journal délicieux!"
'She wears very little covering on her person, and none
on her arms of any kind (shifts being long exploded),
except sleeves of the finest cambric, unlined and
travaillé au jour, which reach only half way from the
shoulder to the elbow. She seems to consider it a duty
to shiver in this thin attire, for she said to Lady
Carysfort, "Ah, Milédi, que vous êtes heureuse, vous
portez des poches et des jupes!" I conversed chiefly
with Beurnonville and Pignatelli. Beurnonville says, "Mon
secrétaire est pour les affaires, mon aide-de-camp pour
les dames, et moi pour la représentation." The people
about him are conscious he is peu de chose, but say,
"Qu'importe? on est si bon en Prusse, et si bien disposé
pour nous." A person asked Vaudreuil, aide-de-camp to
Beurnonville, if the latter was a ci-devant. "Non," dit-il, "mais il
voudroit l'être"—a reply of a good deal of finesse, and plainly
proving how unconquerable the respect for rank, and wish among
those who have destroyed the substance to possess the shadow.'

CHAPTER VI.
Thackeray's Predilections for Art—A Student in Paris—First Steps in the Career—An
Art Critic—Introduction to Marvy's English Landscape Painters—Early Connection
with Literature—Michael Angelo Titmarsh, a contributor to 'Fraser's Magazine'—
French Caricature under Louis Philippe—Political Satires—A Young Artist's life in
Paris—Growing Sympathy with Literature.
The Weimar reminiscences show how early Thackeray's passion for
art had developed itself. One who knew him well affirms that he was
originally intended for the Bar; but he had, indeed, already
determined to be an artist, and for a considerable period he
diligently followed his bent. He visited Rome, where he stayed some
time, and subsequently, as we shall see, settled for some time in
Paris, 'where,' says a writer in the 'Edinburgh Review' for January
1848, 'we well remember, ten or twelve years ago, finding him, day
after day, engaged in copying pictures in the Louvre, in order to
qualify himself for his intended profession. It may be doubted,
however,' adds this writer, 'whether any degree of assiduity would
have enabled him to excel in the money-making branches, for his
talent was altogether of the Hogarth kind, and was principally
remarkable in the pen-and-ink sketches of character and situation
which he dashed off for the amusement of his friends.' This is just
criticism; but Thackeray, though caring little himself for the graces of
good drawing or correct anatomy, had a keen appreciation of the
beauties of contemporary artists. Years after—in 1848—when, as he
says, the revolutionary storm which raged in France 'drove many
peaceful artists, as well as kings, ministers, tribunes, and socialists
of state for refuge to our country,' an artist friend of his early Paris

life found his way to Thackeray's home in London. This was
Monsieur Louis Marvy, in whose atelier the former had passed many
happy hours with the family of the French artist—in that constant
cheerfulness and sunshine, as his English friend expressed it, which
the Parisian was now obliged to exchange for a dingy parlour and
the fog and solitude of London. A fine and skilful landscape-painter
himself, M. Marvy, while here, as a means of earning a living, made
a series of engravings after the works of our English landscape-
painters. For some of these his friend obtained for M. Marvy
permission to take copies in the valuable private collection of Mr.
Thomas Baring. The publishers, however, would not undertake the
work without a series of letter-press notices of each picture from Mr.
Thackeray; and the latter accordingly added some criticisms which
are interesting as developing his theory of this kind of art. The
artists whose works are engraved are Calcott, Turner, Holland,
Danby, Creswick, Collins, Redgrave, Lee, Cattermole, W. J. Müller,
Harding, Nasmyth, Wilson, E. W. Cooke, Constable, De Wint, and
Gainsborough.
It was, we believe, in 1834, and while residing for a short period in
Albion Street, Hyde Park, the residence of his mother and her
second husband, Major Carmichael Smyth, that Mr. Thackeray began
his literary career as a contributor to 'Fraser's Magazine.' The
pseudonyms of 'Michael Angelo Titmarsh,' 'Fitz Boodle,'

'Yellowplush,' or 'Lancelot Wagstaff,' under which he afterwards
amused the readers of the periodicals, had not then been thought
of. His early papers related chiefly to the Fine Arts; but most of them
had some reference to his French experiences. He seems to have
had a peculiar fancy for Paris, where he resided, with brief intervals,
for some years after coming of age, and where most of his magazine
papers were written.
The Two-penny Post-bag

LE DECES POIRE
The drawing on p. 117 represents the despair (désespoir) of the
Orleans family at the threatened political decease (décès) of Louis
Philippe, familiar to Parisians as the 'Pear' (Poire), from the well-
known resemblance established by the caricaturists between the
shape and appearance of the king's head and a Burgundy pear.
Thackeray resided in Paris during the contests of the king with the
caricaturists (under the banner of Phillipon), and he was much
impressed by their wit and artistic power. If the reader will turn to
the 'Paris Sketch Book,' he will see Mr. Thackeray's own words upon
the subject.
We may state, for the assistance of the reader unacquainted with
the French caricatures of that period, that the figure to the right with
an elongated nose is M. d'Argout; the gentleman at the foot of the
bed, astride a huge squirt (the supposed favourite implement with
every French physician), is Marshal Lobau. Queen Marie Amélie, the

Under the Second
Empire
Duc d'Orléans, and other members of the
royal family, are in the background.
One of Thackeray's literary
associates has given some
amusing particulars of his
Paris life, and his subsequent
interest in the city, where he
had many friends and was
known to a wide circle of
readers. 'He lived,' says this writer, 'in Paris
"over the water," and it is not long since, in
strolling about the Latin Quarter with the best of companions, that
we visited his lodgings, Thackeray inquiring after those who were
already forgotten—unknown. Those who may wish to learn his early
Parisian life and associations should turn to the story of "Philip on his
Way through the World." Many incidents in that narrative are
reminiscences of his own youthful literary struggles whilst living
modestly in this city. Latterly, fortune and fame enabled the author
of "Vanity Fair" to visit imperial Paris in imperial style, and Mr.
Thackeray put up generally at the Hôtel de Bristol, in the Place
Vendôme. Never was increase of fortune more gracefully worn or
more generously employed. The struggling artist and small man of
letters, whom he was sure to find at home or abroad, was pretty
safe to be assisted if he learned their wants. I know of many a kind
act. One morning, on entering Mr. Thackeray's bedroom in Paris, I
found him placing some napoleons in a pill-box, on the lid of which
was written, "One to be taken occasionally." "What are you doing?"
said I. "Well," he replied, "there is an old person here who says she
is very ill and in distress, and I strongly suspect that this is the sort
of medicine she wants. Dr. Thackeray intends to leave it with her
himself. Let us walk out together."[4] Thackeray used to say that he
came to Paris for a holiday and to revive his recollections of French
cooking. But he generally worked here, especially when editing the
"Cornhill Magazine."'[5]

The political Morgiana
One of the ornaments of Paris

Thackeray's affection for Paris, however, appears to have been
founded upon no relish for the gaieties of the French metropolis, and
certainly not upon any liking for French institutions. His papers on
this subject are generally criticisms upon political, social, and literary
failings of the French, written in a severe spirit which savours more
of the confident judgment of youth than of the calm spirit of the
citizen of the world. The reactionary rule of Louis Philippe, the
Government of July, and the boasted Charter of 1830, were the
objects of his especial dislike; nor was he less unsparing in his views
of French morals as exemplified in their law courts, and in the novels
of such writers as Madame Dudevant. The truth is, that at this
Period Paris was, in the eyes of the art-student, simply the Paradise
of young painters. Possessed of a good fortune—said to have
amounted, on his coming of age in 1832, to 20,000l.—the young
Englishman passed his days in the Louvre, his evenings with his
French artist acquaintances, of whom his preface to Louis Marvy's
sketches gives so pleasant a glimpse; or sometimes in his quiet
lodgings in the Quartier Latin in dashing off for some English or
foreign paper his enthusiastic notices of the Paris Exhibition, or a
criticism on French writers, or a story of French artist life, or an
account of some great cause célèbre then stirring the Parisian world.
This was doubtless the happiest period of his life. In one of these
papers he describes minutely the life of the art student in Paris, and
records his impressions of it at the time.

A decorated artist
Back to the past
The painter's trade in France, he discovers, is a good one; it is more
appreciated, respected, and even more liberally patronised than with
us. While in England there is no school but the 'Academy' open to
the young student—in those days South Kensington did not exist,
and our artists are not accustomed to grant young beginners
admission to their studios at pleasure, as has long been the practice
abroad—in France excellent schools abound, where, under the eye
of a practised master, a young man can learn the rudiments of his
art for about ten pounds a year, including all kinds of accessory

instruction, models, &c.; while he can, out of doors, obtain all sorts
of incentives to study for 'just nothing at all.'
The life of the young artist in France, we are told, is the merriest,
most slovenly existence possible. He comes to Paris with some forty
pounds a year settled on him to keep him and pay all his expenses.
He lives in a quarter where all his surroundings are of the same
order—art and artists; from morning till night, he is in an
atmosphere of painting; he arrives at his atelier very early, and often
gains a good day's study before the doors of our Academy are
unbolted. He labours, without a sense of drudgery, among a score of
companions as merry and poor as himself.
It is certain that Thackeray had developed a talent for
writing long before he had abandoned his intention of
becoming a painter, and that he became a contributor to
magazines at a time when there was at least no
necessity for his earning a livelihood by his pen. It is
probable, therefore, that it was his success in the literary
art, rather than his failure, as has been assumed, in
acquiring skill as a painter, which gradually drew him into
that career of authorship, the pecuniary profits of which
became afterwards more important to him.

CHAPTER VII.
'Elizabeth Brownrigge: a Tale,' 1832—'Comic Magazine,' 1832-4—'National
Standard and Literary Representative,' 1833-4—'Flore et Zephyr, Ballet
Mythologique,' 1836—On the Staff of 'Fraser's Magazine'—Early Connection with
Maginn and his Colleagues—The Maclise Cartoon of the Fraserians—Thackeray's
Noms de Plume—Charles Yellowplush as a Reviewer—Skelton and his 'Anatomy
of Conduct'—Thackeray's Proposal to Dickens to illustrate his Novels—Gradual
Growth of Thackeray's Notoriety—His genial Admiration for 'Boz'—Christmas
Books and Dickens' 'Christmas Carol'—Return to Paris—Execution of Fieschi and
Lacénaire—Daily Newspaper Venture—The 'Constitutional' and 'Public Ledger'—
Thackeray as Paris Correspondent—Dying Speech of the 'Constitutional'—
Thackeray's Marriage—Increased Application to Literature—The 'Shabby Genteel
Story'—Thackeray's Article in the 'Westminster' on George Cruikshank—First
Collected Writings—The 'Paris Sketch Book'—Dedication to M. Aretz—'Comic
Tales and Sketches,' with Thackeray's original Illustrations—The 'Yellowplush
Papers'—The 'Second Funeral of Napoleon,' with the 'Chronicle of the
Drum'—'The History of Samuel Titmarsh and the great Hoggarty
Diamond'—'Fitzboodle's Confessions'—'The Irish Sketch Book,' with the Author's
Illustrations—'The Luck of Barry Lyndon'—Contributions to the 'Examiner'—
Miscellanies—'Carmen Lilliense'—'Notes of a Journey from Cornhill to Grand
Cairo,' with the Author's Illustrations—Interest excited in Titmarsh—Foundation
of 'Punch'—Thackeray's Contributions—His comic Designs—'The Fat
Contributor'—'Jeames's Diary.'
Before proceeding to the well-known productions from the pen of
our great novelist, which are familiar enough to all, it may interest
the reader to glance at his juvenile efforts in literature and art. It will
be found that we dwell more minutely upon the consideration of
these early sketches than is absolutely warranted by their
importance in comparison with his great works; but we are tempted
to enlarge on the papers which illustrate the outset of the author's

career, under the conviction that they are but little known to the
majority of his admirers.
We have already noticed Thackeray's characteristic hand in the
pages of 'The Snob,' where his native skill in parody was first
evidenced in print. We have incidentally cited the satirical force of
his observant powers at the age of twenty and during his residence
in Germany; though, it must be confessed, these early impressions
may owe much of their strength to the training he had gone through
during the interval between the time he actually spent in the scenes
described, and the period at which the sketches were first given to
the public.
From the date of its establishment the columns of 'Fraser' abound in
sly satires directed against the school of fiction which then happened
to find favour with the romance-reading public. Ainsworth and
Bulwer had made daring experiments with new and startling
materials for exciting the imagination of their believers; and the
encouragement held out by the unequivocal success of the
unwholesome order of novels was sufficient to excite the wrath of
those writers and critics who strove to lead the popular taste back to
healthier literature. Thackeray's keen appreciation of the genuine
humour of Fielding, Scott, and similar authors, who founded the
interest of their stories on such sounder principles as were dictated
by intelligent study of human nature, and who mainly relied for their
incidents on the probable occurrences, the actions and passions, of
actual life, was sufficient to qualify him as a subtle opponent of the
unnatural style; and he appears to have early enlisted his pen on the
side of the Fraserians, who were, perhaps, the bitterest antagonists
which the apostles of these unlikely anomalies were fated to
encounter in the development of their novel theories.
In the August and September numbers of 'Fraser' for 1832 appeared
the forerunner of those burlesque romances for which Thackeray's
name became afterwards famous. The sketch was published when
the budding satirist was little over twenty-one years of age; and the
just and scarifying criticism which it contains is sufficiently

remarkable in so youthful a writer. But there is the strongest internal
evidence that the travestie of 'Elizabeth Brownrigge: a Tale,'
proceeds from the author who afterwards narrated the 'Story of
Catharine;' who interrupted the early chapters of 'Vanity Fair' to
introduce certain felicitous parodies; and who, in the pages of
'Punch,' produced the irresistible series of 'Prize Novelists' which
remain unsurpassed.
'Elizabeth Brownrigge' was dedicated to the author of 'Eugene
Aram;' and its writer described himself as a young man who had for
a length of time applied himself to literature, but had hitherto
entirely failed to derive any emolument from his exertions. His
tragedies, comedies, operas and farces, his novels, poems, and
romances, had already accumulated into an alarming pile of
unacceptable and unprofitable MSS. On examining the grounds of
their refusal, he was surprised to find one identical phrase occurring
in every letter rejecting his talented productions: the poems are all
pronounced 'classical, pure in taste, and perfect in diction;' the
novels are acknowledged to be 'just in character, interesting in plot,
pathetic, unexceptionable in sentiment;' but unhappily they have all
one glaring defect in common—they are 'not of a popular
description.' Enlightened by the reflection that those who write to
live must write to please, he determined to master the popular taste;
the otherwise faultless papers were put by until fashions should
change in the reading world; and his laundress was sent to the
circulating library for the last most popular novel—the author,
disappointed but not discouraged, being resolved to study its style
and manner, investigate the principles on which it was written, to
imbibe its spirit, and to compose his next new work as nearly as
possible upon the same model. The popular novel brought was
'Eugene Aram.'
From its pages the hitherto unsuccessful writer caught a complete
solution of the errors and defects of his former productions. From
the frequent perusal of older works of imagination, he had learned
the unfashionable practice of endeavouring so to weave the

incidents of his stories as to interest his readers in favour of virtue
and to increase their detestation of vice. By the study of 'Eugene
Aram' he was taught to mix vice and virtue up together in such an
inextricable confusion as to render it impossible that any preference
should be given to either, or that one, indeed, should be at all
distinguishable from the other.
'I am inclined,' continues the writer, in his dedication, 'to regard the
author of "Eugene Aram" as an original discoverer in the world of
literary enterprise, and to reverence him as the father of a new lusus
naturæ school.' There is no other title by which his manner could be
so aptly designated. Being in search of a tender-hearted, generous,
sentimental, high-minded hero of romance, he turned to the
'Newgate Calendar,' and looked for him in the list of men who have
cut throats for money, among whom a person in possession of such
qualities could never have been met with at all.
'In "Elizabeth Brownrigge" it will be the author's sole ambition to
impart to his efforts some portion of the intense interest that
distinguishes the works of Mr. Bulwer, and to acquire the fame which
the skilful imitation of so great a master may hope to receive from
the generosity of an enlightened and delighted public. In taking his
subject from that walk of life to which "Eugene Aram" had directed
his attention, many motives conspired to fix the writer's choice on
the heroine of the ensuing tale: she is a classic personage—her
name has been already "linked to immortal verse" by the muse of
Canning. Besides, it is extraordinary that, as Mr. Bulwer had
commenced a tragedy under the title of "Eugene Aram," the
dedicator had already sketched a burletta with the title of "Elizabeth
Brownrigge." In his dramatic piece he had indeed been guilty of an
egregious and unpardonable error: he had attempted to excite the
sympathies of his audience in favour of the murdered apprentices;
but the study of Mr. Bulwer disabused him of so vulgar a prejudice,
and, in the present version of her case, all the interest of the reader
and all the pathetic powers of the author will be engaged on the side
of the murderess. He has taken a few slight liberties with the story,

but such alterations have the sanction of Bulwer's example and the
recommendation of his authority. As he has omitted any mention of
the wife of his Eugene, his imitator has not thought it necessary to
recall the reader's attention to the husband and sixteen children of
his Elizabeth. As the hero of "Eugene Aram" is endowed with more
learning and virtue than he possessed, and is converted from the
usher of a grammar school at Hayes into the solitary student of a
lone and romantic tower in a distant county; the author of
"Elizabeth" presumed to raise the situation of his heroine, and,
instead of portraying her as the wife of a saddler in Fleur-de-lis
Court, and midwife of the poor-house, he has represented her in his
tale as a young gentlewoman of independent fortune, a paragon of
beauty, a severe and learned moral philosopher, and the Lady
Bountiful of the village of Islington.'
The first book opens with a sample of the MS. Burletta: the contents
of chapter i. are sufficiently descriptive of the spirit of the whole—
Islington: the Red Cabbage (so called from a very imperfect
representation of a red rose on its sign-board)—Specimen of Lusus
Naturæ—Philosophers of the Porch—Who is she?
According to a richly worked out principle of opposites, this droll
conception proceeds with incidents and even names taken directly
from the 'Newgate Calendar,' but rivalling 'Eugene Aram' itself in
magnificence of diction, absurdity of sentiment, and pomp of Greek
quotation. The trial scene and Elizabeth's speech in her own defence
abound in clever points—indeed, the humour of the whole
composition is original and striking; although the later burlesques
from presumably the same hand have made us familiar with similar
features brought to maturity.
During the intervals of his residence in London—for Paris may be
considered to have been almost his head-quarters at this period—
Thackeray had made the acquaintance of most of the brilliant writers
and rising artists of the day. It is certain that before he became
popularly known as a contributor to 'Fraser,' where his papers
contributed in no inconsiderable degree to the success of the

magazine, he was concerned in more than one literary venture.
Between 1832 and 1834 appeared a small miscellany, the 'Comic
Magazine,' now tolerably obscure: in its duodecimo pages may be
found the writings of several authors whose names have since
become famous. It was profusely illustrated: the major part of the
cuts, some of them of particular excellence, were by the hand of the
gifted and unfortunate Seymour. It seems that Thackeray was to
some extent interested in this publication, to which he probably
supplied both drawings and verses; although, at this date, it is
difficult to distinguish his individual contributions, especially as they
happen to be less characteristic than the average of his works; the
cuts, although full of fun, having suffered from the necessity of
reducing the cost of engraving, as the expenses of the publication
became onerous.
There existed in 1833 a critical journal, 'devoted to literature,
science, music, theatricals, and the fine arts,' rejoicing in the slightly
high-flown title of the 'National Standard:' it was one of the early
enterprises in the way of cheap publication, and, in spite of its
name, conscientiously aimed at supplying a want that has never yet
been adequately filled up—namely, the circulation of sterling
independent criticism. We are not informed how Thackeray first
became interested in this publication, but, from the hints thrown out
in his later writings, it seems that he was induced to become, in
some part, proprietor of the venture. In his sketch of 'Mr. Adolphus
Simcoe,' who is introduced into the pages of 'Punch' (1842) as a
typical ex-owner of a miscellany, the 'Lady's Lute,' which came to a
disastrous end, we are informed that, presuming a person of literary
tastes should, from some unfortunate combination of circumstances,
conceive a passion to become the editor of a magazine, to assemble
about him 'the great spirits of the age,' and to be able to
communicate his own contributions direct to the public, a paper is
sure to be for sale—'indeed, if a gentleman has a mind to part with
his money, it is very hard if he cannot find some periodical with a
broom at its mast-head.'

In the eighteenth number of the 'National Standard' (May 4) we
recognise Thackeray's pencil in a very fair cut of Louis Philippe—
quite in the style of his contributions to 'Punch' some ten years later.
The likeness is undoubtedly good and characteristic. Le roi des
Français is straddling in an undignified attitude—the fair lily of
France is trodden under one of his clumsy feet; he wears an ill-fitting
plain citizen suit; one hand is in his pocket, 'counting his money;' the
other rests on his redoubtable umbrella, the favourite target of
satirists.
In his beaver he sports the tricolor badge, 'like an overgrown
pancake,' as the verses below declare. His face wears a truculent,
soured, dissatisfied twist; 'no huzzas greet his coming,' we are
informed.
'He stands in París as you see him before ye,
Little more than a snob. There's an end of the story.'
Number 19 of the journal opens with an address of decidedly
Titmarshian turn, which tells the story of the new state of things
pretty lucidly, and with a fine flush of spirits.
Under the heading of this 'National Standard' of ours there originally
appeared the following: 'Edited by F. W. N. Bayley,[6] Esq., the late
Editor and Originator of "The National Omnibus," the first of the
cheap Publications: assisted by the most eminent Literary Men of the
Day.'
'Now we have changé tout cela: no, not exactly tout cela, for we still
retain the assistance of a host of literary talent; but Frederick
William Naylor Bayley has gone. We have got free of the Old Bailey
and changed the governor. Let it not be imagined for a moment that
we talk in the slightest disparagement of our predecessor in office;
on the contrary, we shall always continue to think him a clever
fellow, and wish him all kinds of success in the war he is carrying on

against Baron Dimsdale. He apparently has exchanged the pen for
the sword.
'Having the fear of the fate of Sir John Cam Hobhouse before our
eyes, we give no pledges, expressed or understood, as to the career
which it is our intention to run. We intend to be as free as the air.
The world of books is all before us where to choose our course.
Others boast that they are perfectly independent of all
considerations extraneous to the sheet in which they write, but none
we know of reduce that boast to practice: we therefore boast not at
all. We promise nothing, and if our readers expect nothing more,
they will assuredly not be disappointed.'
A remarkably well-executed portrait of Braham, the singer, appears
in the number. The eminent vocalist's rotund figure is dressed in
stage-nautical fashion, with a tremendously striped shirt, rolling
collar, sailor's knot, no waistcoat, jacket and short trousers, hose,
and pumps with buckles; his somewhat coarse Israelitish caput is hit
off with truth and spirit; over his head is a glory formed of a jew's-
harp encircled in bays; he is before a theatrical background. A dealer
in old clo', of the singer's nationality, crowned with triple hats, and
carrying the professional bag, is introduced beneath a feudal castle.
Below the portrait is a sonorous parody of one of Wordsworth's
sonnets, attributing to Braham the 'majesty and loveliness' by which
he originally captivated the world and the ears of Sovereign Anne, in
whose benign reign, according to a footnote, this 'Lion of Judah'
'made his first appearance in England.' The jew's-harp, circled with
blooming wreath, is seen of verdant bays; and thus are typified—
'The pleasant music and the baize of green,
Whence issues out at eve Braham with front serene!'
Certain picture criticisms in the same number bear evidence of the
hand afterwards well known in the galleries of paintings.
'Fine Arts.—Somerset House Exhibition.—(140) Portrait of His
Majesty King William IV. in the uniform of the Grenadier Guards, by

D. Wilkie. His Majesty stands in a dun fog, and wears a pair of dirty
boots; his cocked-hat is in his hand, and his crown is in a corner.
This large picture, in spite of the great name attached to it, seems to
us a failure; Mr. Wilkie has not at all succeeded in the attempt to
give an expression of intelligence to the physiognomy of our
reverend sovereign.'
In the following week this verdict is modified; it is stated that the
late critic has been dismissed as clearly incompetent for his office.
The picture, it is acknowledged, is a good work, and it was utterly
unreasonable to expect any painter could succeed in throwing an
intelligent expression into the royal countenance.
The writer also extravagantly praises the portrait of an alderman, on
the grounds that his address at Clapham, inscribed on a letter held
in the hand of the picture, is 'painted as natural as though it had
been written.'
To No. 20, Thackeray contributed a portrait of Baron Nathan
Rothschild, in which the satirist does not flatter the 'pillar of change.'
Some verses below the woodcut are not more complimentary to 'the
first Baron Juif; by the grace of his pelf, not the King of the Jews,
but the Jew of the Kings. The taste of Plutus is censured, in that he
has selected as prime favourite 'a greasy-faced compound of donkey
and pig.' After propitiating the great financier in this fashion, the
satirist leaves his subject what he vainly wishes the Baron would
leave him—'alone in his glory!'
In an appreciative review of Sarah Austin's translation of Falk's
'Characteristics of Goethe' the readers of the 'National Standard' are
admitted to a glimpse of personal reminiscences: 'The fountain
opposite Goethe's house is not particularly picturesque, and the
people who frequent it are not remarkable for their beauty. But there
are beauties disclosed to the poetic eye which the common observer
will endeavour in vain to discover; and the philosopher can make
sermons on running brooks, such as the fountain at Weimar, which,
we confess, appeared to us a most ordinary waterspout.

'Appended to the work is a portrait of its hero, which, however, does
not bear the slightest resemblance to him.'
In No. 21 occurs the first (and last) of our 'London Characters'—the
sketch of an advertising medium of Chartism; a wretched, terror-
stricken boardsman of the dispersed 'National Convention;' bearing
the legends—'No Taxes,' 'Victory or Death,' and 'Britons, be firm!' but
his placards interfere with his escape from the police by tripping up
their bearer. It is worthy of note that this cut, with slight alterations,
appeared later in the 'Comic Magazine' already mentioned.
In No. 22 Thackeray has produced a good croquis of Manager Bunn,
who is displayed with his toupee and well-brushed, heavy-jowled
mutton-cutlet whiskers, with a wig-bag seen over the shoulder of his
court coat; an elaborately embroidered satin waistcoat; 'stuck to his
side a shining sword;' 'all in his velvet breeches,' silk stockings and
buckled shoes; just as, ten years later, the 'Punch' wags were wont
to picture the 'poet Alfred.' Handsome tall candlesticks are held in
either hand: these imposing dips are sparkling with the names of
Schrœder and Malibran respectively:
'What gallant cavalier is seen
So dainty set before the queen,
Between a pair of candles?
Who looks as smiling and as bright,
As oily and as full of light,
As is the wax he handles.'
Another cut—the person of a corpulent but dejected Cupid, his fat
feet resting on conventional clouds, while his chubby wrists and
ankles are confined in heavy irons—forms the headpiece to some
easy lines: a burlesque poem entitled 'Love in Fetters, a Tottenham
Court Road Ditty,' showing how dangerous it is for a gentleman to
fall in love with an 'Officer's Daughter,' an 'Ower True Tale.' The
narrator describes his passion for a fair Israelite, to whom he has
sent a 'letter full of love;' and he is roused out of his slumbers by a

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