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Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice”
© Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 1 of 4
When there is too much pain…
Jacklyn feels guilty and sorry for Siobhan. She finds it difficult to process her emotions. A huge
sense of loss and guilt overcomes her. She wishes she could do more for Alice who seems so
lonely and lost and sad. She wishes she could do more for Siobhan but at the same time thinks
that Siobhan has been continuing to put Alice at risk.
On the day of the child protection conference Alice returns to her foster carer’s home at 10pm.
Jacklyn undertakes a school visit in the morning to speak with Alice. They use an empty
classroom to talk and Alice answers all of Jacklyn’s questions as ‘fine’ … there is a long silence
and then Alice tells Jacklyn very matter-of-factly:
You don’t know what it’s like to stay in foster … you don’t know what it’s like to have no
one and nothing. You know nothing about me and my life …
Strong emotions are stirred in Jacklyn. She wants to help Alice but does not know how, and
memories of her own childhood surface. She thinks about the difficult relationship she had with
her own mother, and the many times she had felt threatened that her mum was going to throw
her out of the house.
Later in the afternoon Alice is caught shoplifting and in possession of cannabis. Two days later
the foster carer reports Alice as missing. The police are called and they start searching for Alice.
They also contact Siobhan, Tim, friends, extended family and the school.
Alice returns home to Siobhan two days later and tells Jacklyn that she was with her brother
whom she met via Facebook.
Alice refuses to return to foster care and calls it a prison, and says that she hates Charlotte.
A legal planning meeting is convened and it is agreed that care proceedings will not be initiated,
and instead services will be put in place to help Siobhan manage at home with Alice. Jacklyn
should undertake home visits twice a week. Home visits prove difficult as Alice tells Jacklyn that
she is intruding and that she just wants to be left alone. Alice shouts at Jacklyn to get out of her
house and to leave her alone.
Most of Jacklyn’s visits are spend with Siobhan as Alice refuses to see her. Siobhan initially
states that all is going well, and that there is nothing to be concerned about; however, later on
Siobhan starts to open up more, and tells Jacklyn that things are very difficult as Alice refuses to
talk to her.
CASE STUDY
Alice refuses to take part in the child protection conference and the
relationship between Jacklyn and Alice is very difficult.
The decision is unanimous. Alice will be made subject to a child
protection plan. Siobhan is the only member of the family to attend the
child protection conference. Siobhan becomes teary during the case
conference and accuses Jacklyn of being vicious and insensitive and
spreading lies about her.
After the conference Siobhan seems disorientated and unsure of how
she will get home. Jacklyn offers to take her home and she accepts.
Siobhan tells Jacklyn that she has nothing left in her life.
Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice”
© Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 2 of 4
The case needs to move to the long-term team and Jacklyn feels as though she has let the
family down …
Reflection
1. The child protection conference seemed to be painful for all concerned. Alice refused to
participate in it, and felt angry with Jacklyn, while Siobhan cried and accused Jacklyn of being
vicious and insensitive and spreading lies about her. Jacklyn felt guilty and sorry for Siobhan,
and found it difficult to process her own emotions. The child protection conference was meant to
help protect and support Alice. So, why did everyone feel so bad?
2. Why did Alice refuse to participate in the child protection conference?
3. Jacklyn has tried very hard to help and support Alice, and has been very honest, open and
helpful toward Siobhan. Why did Siobhan accuse Jacklyn of being vicious and insensitive and
spreading lies about her?
4. Alice had insisted on being placed with Charlotte, so why did she leave without notice and
return to her mum? Was Jacklyn’s manager right in stereotyping Alice and saying ‘they always
end up going home’?
5. Alice seems to be a young girl with great potential, so why is she engaging in this type of
behaviour?
Discussion
Exploring belonging and identity
Alice has experienced continuous and repeated neglect and rejection, and is deeply hurt.
Therefore, she may be experiencing a host of opposite emotions such as anger and guilt, and
most importantly a lack of belonging. Indeed, research suggests that some of the more disturbing
and detrimental behaviours in placements are hyperactivity, aggression, fire setting, stealing and
sexually acting out (Rosenthal, 1993).
From birth, children search for their place in their family, and a child’s sense of self and security
depend on the child’s feeling of belonging in the group. Adler (1931[1992]) suggests that the
fundamental motivation of humans is the need to belong, while Dreikurs and Soltz (1964/1992)
explain the desire to belong is inherent in children because they are social beings. Children
attempt different behaviours, and based on their experiences, and the feedback from their
parents, carers and environment, they decide on the repertoire of behaviours, reactions and
responses that they adopt. However, the experience of rejection and the feeling of loss
experienced by most adoptive children and children in care, means that they may be more
sensitive to being in or out of the family and, therefore, may overcompensate by trying too hard
to belong to any group, good or bad. This may explain why some adolescents become a part of a
gang or other undesirable groups. They may be seeking a point of hold and anchoring, and a
sense of connectedness and belonging, and in that sense they may feel that it is better to be part
of something, whether good or bad, than to be part of nothing and be alone. Blomquist (2001)
suggests that they do this in an effort to lose their identity in a group as a way to gain an identity,
which otherwise they feel they lack. This puts them at risk of getting involved in harmful activities
just to be part of the group. Furthermore, Brodzinsky (2002) cites several studies reporting that
adopted children are overrepresented among youth diagnosed with externalising challenges,
such as attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD), oppositional disruptive disorder, conduct
disorder and substance misuse. Brodzinsky (2002) notes a higher incidence of adjustment
difficulties for children and young adults who were placed at a relatively older age, and who had
more adverse experiences such as multiple placements, prolonged neglect or multiple abuse.
Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice”
© Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 3 of 4
The impact of the rejection and abandonment affect children throughout their lives; however,
children become more conscious of it when their thinking moves from concrete to abstract,
roughly the ages of 12–14 or around the time of puberty.
Children at the concrete stage tend to focus on one small aspect of an issue; however, children
moving into abstract stage tend to categorise items, and are able to see multiple issues at one
time, and begin to question things (Fogarty, 2000). This is the stage when the children may gain
a greater appreciation of the impact of rejection and abandonment and begin to question it. Alice
is at a critical stage in her life, with repeated experiences of neglect and rejection, and entering
her early adolescence she is struggling to make sense of her life and her identity, and to find and
develop her potential space to reconnect with herself to grow and to be. So, is she to be blamed
for shoplifting or for possessing cannabis?
Without meaning to justify Alice’s actions, we need to remember that there is enough blame
going around, with teachers who blame parents, parents who blame schools or the social worker,
the local authority can be blamed or can blame the parents or the schools for not doing enough,
social workers can be blamed for not doing their job, and so on. However, as a relationship-
based practitioner it is incumbent upon us to break the cycle of blame, and offer some hope, not
in an excessively optimistic way, but from a belief that we can help to understand the meaning of
children’s and young people’s behaviours, and contain the complex emotions and feelings that in
turn can provide relief and growth, and help Alice make sense of herself, her surrounding and her
experiences, and to reduce the projective and acting-out cycles.
Children are helped in many ways, not least through contained and containing relationships that
offer them a chance to escape the projection of being the bad and the unmanageable, needing
exclusion.
We will explore some of these concepts further in the next chapters where we discuss trauma, its
meaning, impact, and significance.
Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice”
© Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 4 of 4
What others say about this book
Claudia Megele has written a book in which the ‘emotional labour’ of doing and being a social
worker is beautifully and fully explored. … Claudia has woven the raw realities of front-line social
work with current thinking about how our psychological development and emotional make-up
influence the way we engage and relate with clients and colleagues.
Claudia Megele’s excellent book, Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice, is for all those
who would like their social work to be inspired by the best in evidence-based thinking and
relationship inspired theory.”
David Howe
Emeritus Professor of Social Work
University of East Anglia, Norwich
This book explains key psycho-dynamic concepts and applies them to cases in ways that
illuminate superbly how relationships can be skilfully used to help vulnerable service users. It
does this while ensuring workers’ own internal lives and experiences of relationships are kept
firmly in the picture, drawing out the agonies and ecstasies, joys and sorrows of people’s lives
when deeply engaged in social work.
Harry Ferguson, Professor of Social Work,
Centre for Social Work, School of Sociology and Social Policy,
University of Nottingham
This book presents a comprehensive and intellectually sophisticated exploration of the emotional
contours between social workers and service users. Claudia Megele spells out more precisely
than before the dynamics of these relationships, and how they might become more
transformative. This is the perfect text to inspire social workers and supervisors wanting to
replace bureaucratic and procedurally led practice with more humane and creative ways of
working.
David Shemmings OBE, Professor of Child Protection Research
Co-Director of Centre for Child Protection University of Kent
Co-Director of the ADAM Project
Claudia’s writing is a refreshing mixture of theory and strategy, while also provoking the reader to
reflect on their application into practice. Megele presents very specific interventions taken by the
social worker with very specific responses of family relational and interactive sequences,
including conversational exchanges as well as psycho-social contexts. A detailed focus on case
studies over time, combines with a review of relevant literature related to theory and strategy,
and with challenging questions to the reader. This engaging book is an excellent teaching tool for
practitioners to enhance and inform relationship building skills.
Lynn McDonald, Professor of Social Work,
Middlesex University
As social work training returns to a more client-centred focus this book will be invaluable for
students entering the profession. But it also has much to offer practitioners in other fields such as
health and counselling. It is engaging and written with a clarity that will enable readers to feel
confident that they understand the theory and the processes and are ready to move these into
their practice.
Mary Baginsky, Senior Research Fellow at King’s College London,
Past Assistant Director of Children’s Workforce Development Council

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Excerpt from psychosocial and relationship based practice

  • 1. Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice” © Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 1 of 4 When there is too much pain… Jacklyn feels guilty and sorry for Siobhan. She finds it difficult to process her emotions. A huge sense of loss and guilt overcomes her. She wishes she could do more for Alice who seems so lonely and lost and sad. She wishes she could do more for Siobhan but at the same time thinks that Siobhan has been continuing to put Alice at risk. On the day of the child protection conference Alice returns to her foster carer’s home at 10pm. Jacklyn undertakes a school visit in the morning to speak with Alice. They use an empty classroom to talk and Alice answers all of Jacklyn’s questions as ‘fine’ … there is a long silence and then Alice tells Jacklyn very matter-of-factly: You don’t know what it’s like to stay in foster … you don’t know what it’s like to have no one and nothing. You know nothing about me and my life … Strong emotions are stirred in Jacklyn. She wants to help Alice but does not know how, and memories of her own childhood surface. She thinks about the difficult relationship she had with her own mother, and the many times she had felt threatened that her mum was going to throw her out of the house. Later in the afternoon Alice is caught shoplifting and in possession of cannabis. Two days later the foster carer reports Alice as missing. The police are called and they start searching for Alice. They also contact Siobhan, Tim, friends, extended family and the school. Alice returns home to Siobhan two days later and tells Jacklyn that she was with her brother whom she met via Facebook. Alice refuses to return to foster care and calls it a prison, and says that she hates Charlotte. A legal planning meeting is convened and it is agreed that care proceedings will not be initiated, and instead services will be put in place to help Siobhan manage at home with Alice. Jacklyn should undertake home visits twice a week. Home visits prove difficult as Alice tells Jacklyn that she is intruding and that she just wants to be left alone. Alice shouts at Jacklyn to get out of her house and to leave her alone. Most of Jacklyn’s visits are spend with Siobhan as Alice refuses to see her. Siobhan initially states that all is going well, and that there is nothing to be concerned about; however, later on Siobhan starts to open up more, and tells Jacklyn that things are very difficult as Alice refuses to talk to her. CASE STUDY Alice refuses to take part in the child protection conference and the relationship between Jacklyn and Alice is very difficult. The decision is unanimous. Alice will be made subject to a child protection plan. Siobhan is the only member of the family to attend the child protection conference. Siobhan becomes teary during the case conference and accuses Jacklyn of being vicious and insensitive and spreading lies about her. After the conference Siobhan seems disorientated and unsure of how she will get home. Jacklyn offers to take her home and she accepts. Siobhan tells Jacklyn that she has nothing left in her life.
  • 2. Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice” © Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 2 of 4 The case needs to move to the long-term team and Jacklyn feels as though she has let the family down … Reflection 1. The child protection conference seemed to be painful for all concerned. Alice refused to participate in it, and felt angry with Jacklyn, while Siobhan cried and accused Jacklyn of being vicious and insensitive and spreading lies about her. Jacklyn felt guilty and sorry for Siobhan, and found it difficult to process her own emotions. The child protection conference was meant to help protect and support Alice. So, why did everyone feel so bad? 2. Why did Alice refuse to participate in the child protection conference? 3. Jacklyn has tried very hard to help and support Alice, and has been very honest, open and helpful toward Siobhan. Why did Siobhan accuse Jacklyn of being vicious and insensitive and spreading lies about her? 4. Alice had insisted on being placed with Charlotte, so why did she leave without notice and return to her mum? Was Jacklyn’s manager right in stereotyping Alice and saying ‘they always end up going home’? 5. Alice seems to be a young girl with great potential, so why is she engaging in this type of behaviour? Discussion Exploring belonging and identity Alice has experienced continuous and repeated neglect and rejection, and is deeply hurt. Therefore, she may be experiencing a host of opposite emotions such as anger and guilt, and most importantly a lack of belonging. Indeed, research suggests that some of the more disturbing and detrimental behaviours in placements are hyperactivity, aggression, fire setting, stealing and sexually acting out (Rosenthal, 1993). From birth, children search for their place in their family, and a child’s sense of self and security depend on the child’s feeling of belonging in the group. Adler (1931[1992]) suggests that the fundamental motivation of humans is the need to belong, while Dreikurs and Soltz (1964/1992) explain the desire to belong is inherent in children because they are social beings. Children attempt different behaviours, and based on their experiences, and the feedback from their parents, carers and environment, they decide on the repertoire of behaviours, reactions and responses that they adopt. However, the experience of rejection and the feeling of loss experienced by most adoptive children and children in care, means that they may be more sensitive to being in or out of the family and, therefore, may overcompensate by trying too hard to belong to any group, good or bad. This may explain why some adolescents become a part of a gang or other undesirable groups. They may be seeking a point of hold and anchoring, and a sense of connectedness and belonging, and in that sense they may feel that it is better to be part of something, whether good or bad, than to be part of nothing and be alone. Blomquist (2001) suggests that they do this in an effort to lose their identity in a group as a way to gain an identity, which otherwise they feel they lack. This puts them at risk of getting involved in harmful activities just to be part of the group. Furthermore, Brodzinsky (2002) cites several studies reporting that adopted children are overrepresented among youth diagnosed with externalising challenges, such as attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD), oppositional disruptive disorder, conduct disorder and substance misuse. Brodzinsky (2002) notes a higher incidence of adjustment difficulties for children and young adults who were placed at a relatively older age, and who had more adverse experiences such as multiple placements, prolonged neglect or multiple abuse.
  • 3. Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice” © Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 3 of 4 The impact of the rejection and abandonment affect children throughout their lives; however, children become more conscious of it when their thinking moves from concrete to abstract, roughly the ages of 12–14 or around the time of puberty. Children at the concrete stage tend to focus on one small aspect of an issue; however, children moving into abstract stage tend to categorise items, and are able to see multiple issues at one time, and begin to question things (Fogarty, 2000). This is the stage when the children may gain a greater appreciation of the impact of rejection and abandonment and begin to question it. Alice is at a critical stage in her life, with repeated experiences of neglect and rejection, and entering her early adolescence she is struggling to make sense of her life and her identity, and to find and develop her potential space to reconnect with herself to grow and to be. So, is she to be blamed for shoplifting or for possessing cannabis? Without meaning to justify Alice’s actions, we need to remember that there is enough blame going around, with teachers who blame parents, parents who blame schools or the social worker, the local authority can be blamed or can blame the parents or the schools for not doing enough, social workers can be blamed for not doing their job, and so on. However, as a relationship- based practitioner it is incumbent upon us to break the cycle of blame, and offer some hope, not in an excessively optimistic way, but from a belief that we can help to understand the meaning of children’s and young people’s behaviours, and contain the complex emotions and feelings that in turn can provide relief and growth, and help Alice make sense of herself, her surrounding and her experiences, and to reduce the projective and acting-out cycles. Children are helped in many ways, not least through contained and containing relationships that offer them a chance to escape the projection of being the bad and the unmanageable, needing exclusion. We will explore some of these concepts further in the next chapters where we discuss trauma, its meaning, impact, and significance.
  • 4. Excerpt from “Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice” © Claudia Megele ISBN: 978-1-909682-97-9 Page 4 of 4 What others say about this book Claudia Megele has written a book in which the ‘emotional labour’ of doing and being a social worker is beautifully and fully explored. … Claudia has woven the raw realities of front-line social work with current thinking about how our psychological development and emotional make-up influence the way we engage and relate with clients and colleagues. Claudia Megele’s excellent book, Psychosocial and Relationship Based Practice, is for all those who would like their social work to be inspired by the best in evidence-based thinking and relationship inspired theory.” David Howe Emeritus Professor of Social Work University of East Anglia, Norwich This book explains key psycho-dynamic concepts and applies them to cases in ways that illuminate superbly how relationships can be skilfully used to help vulnerable service users. It does this while ensuring workers’ own internal lives and experiences of relationships are kept firmly in the picture, drawing out the agonies and ecstasies, joys and sorrows of people’s lives when deeply engaged in social work. Harry Ferguson, Professor of Social Work, Centre for Social Work, School of Sociology and Social Policy, University of Nottingham This book presents a comprehensive and intellectually sophisticated exploration of the emotional contours between social workers and service users. Claudia Megele spells out more precisely than before the dynamics of these relationships, and how they might become more transformative. This is the perfect text to inspire social workers and supervisors wanting to replace bureaucratic and procedurally led practice with more humane and creative ways of working. David Shemmings OBE, Professor of Child Protection Research Co-Director of Centre for Child Protection University of Kent Co-Director of the ADAM Project Claudia’s writing is a refreshing mixture of theory and strategy, while also provoking the reader to reflect on their application into practice. Megele presents very specific interventions taken by the social worker with very specific responses of family relational and interactive sequences, including conversational exchanges as well as psycho-social contexts. A detailed focus on case studies over time, combines with a review of relevant literature related to theory and strategy, and with challenging questions to the reader. This engaging book is an excellent teaching tool for practitioners to enhance and inform relationship building skills. Lynn McDonald, Professor of Social Work, Middlesex University As social work training returns to a more client-centred focus this book will be invaluable for students entering the profession. But it also has much to offer practitioners in other fields such as health and counselling. It is engaging and written with a clarity that will enable readers to feel confident that they understand the theory and the processes and are ready to move these into their practice. Mary Baginsky, Senior Research Fellow at King’s College London, Past Assistant Director of Children’s Workforce Development Council